Do As I Say Not As I Do

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In this week's Pasha, we read how the Rabbani Shlulam commands Moshe Rabbainu to inform the Jewish people that he will redeem them from its rank.

However, the Torah tells us the call you saw was so exhausted, they were so overwhelmed, they could not even hear Moshe's message.

For like Shamu al-Muysha, Mekhojse, Ruach, Mavoi, Dakasha, they did not listen to Moshe because of shortness of spirit and back-breaking labor.

They told Moshe, just go away, we're not buying whatever you're trying to sell us.

And the question is obvious, logic would dictate that exact opposite. Usually when a person is in a desperate situation, he will grasp at straws to save himself.

Unfortunately, we have seen many times that when a person finds himself in dark circumstances, battling illness, facing legal trouble, or suffering financial ruin, he will leave no stone unturned and spare no cause to find a solution.

Even if the odds are extremely remote.

So the question is, Kalyasur had been tormented and oppressed for 210 years with no hope in sight.

And on top of that, Parah had just increased their workload dramatically by refusing to provide straw.

So why wouldn't they at least listen to Moshe? Even if there was only a small chance that his words would come true, shouldn't have given them some hope?

So why didn't they buy into his promises?

So Darabag says something astonishing.

When the Torah states that loyshomu al moyshomu koyze ruch mavaidakasha, it doesn't mean that Kalyasur al failed to listen because they were suffering from koyze ruch.

But rather says Darabag, it was Moyshera Bainu himself who was experiencing koyze ruch.

Moysher saw that Parah had just intensified her oppression. And he became frustrated. He thought himself.

Now there's no way I'll be able to convince Kalyasur al that Hashem will redeem them and take them out of this brutal slavery.

And because Moyshera himself was not fully confident that he could persuade them, his message lacked conviction, and therefore it rang hollow.

This is similar to a salesman trying to convince people to buy a certain product.

If he himself does not truly believe that what he's trying to sell is absolutely necessary, that it's essential for the customer to have it, he will never succeed in selling others on that product.

People consents hesitation immediately. And this lesson is very profound.

As parents, when we offer words of rebuke to our children, we must first internalize those words ourselves and be deeply convinced of their truth.

If not, the likelihood that our children will take that message to heart is highly unlikely.

As parents striving to educate and guide our children along a particular path in life, we must ourselves live by those values and believe that this is the correct and meaningful path.

Otherwise, your child will see right through it. The message will be perceived as lip service and will not be followed.

There's a well-known story of a young man whose wife had just given birth to their first child.

He approached her half its time, and he asked him, Rebi, when and how should I begin preparing myself a Chinach?

Please give me some guidance so my son grows up to be a tamid Khacham and a righteous person.

The Khacham tells him, Mazatav young man, but I'm afraid you're already a few years too late.

Ideally, Chinach begins when parents are still single, when they shape and refine themselves into the best role models possible for their future children.

Why do we see that children, especially young boys, are so passionate about their local sports teams or infatuated with the latest model cars?

And why are girls so obsessed with chopping and the latest newest fashions?

Yet, when it comes to the most important things in life, they seem far less excited.

The answer is simple. Children become passionate about whatever their parents are passionate about.

They absorb what is discussed at home.

If a father's life revolves around the Yankees game and the Shabbos table conversation centers around the neighbor's new SUV or the next shopping trip, then that becomes important to the child.

But a father comes home from shul and he talks about how inspiring the davening was, how uplifting the rough speech felt, or the chesa that took place in shul, then that leaves a deep impression on his children.

A parent who lives by the phrase, do as they say, not as they do, has virtually no chance of being hurt.

Children emulate actions, not hollow words.

If you want your child to learn more, do more chesa, the daven with greater intent, you yourself must lay the groundwork first by demonstrating it yourself.

So remember, children don't listen to what we say, they absorb who we are.

If you want them to believe in Torah values, we must first believe it ourselves and live it with conviction.

So don't please behavior.

Live it so clearly that your children can help but buy it.

And now, we know, have a wonderful day.

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