Do not Grieve as Those Who Have no Hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13) | When a Child Is Taken to Heaven – Part II

1 Thessalonians 4:13 says, “Do not grieve as those who have no hope.” Last week a child in our church tragically died. This is the second sermon I preached to encourage the family. Here is Part I: When a Child Is Taken to Heaven. Paul didn’t want Christians to sorrow as others who have no hope, and that’s my hope for my congregation, and especially the parents. In the previous sermon, we didn’t get to talk much about grief because the parents received their children back. This sermon looks at an account with David, and he didn’t receive his child back. This makes the account very instructive for us regarding grief. https://youtu.be/8tJ-JX8gllk “Do not grieve as those who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Last week a child in our church died, and I preached this sermon to encourage them. Table of ContentsFamily Worship Guide for Do not Grieve as Those Who Have no HopeSermon Notes for Do not Grieve as Those Who Have no HopeLesson 1: people grieve differently.Lesson 2: we must grieve with hope.Lesson 3: believing parents are reunited with believing children they’ve lost.Lesson 4: the hope we have in Christ combats grief. Family Worship Guide for Do not Grieve as Those Who Have no Hope Day 1: Read 2 Samuel 12:15-21; Ecclesiastes 3:4; Romans 12:15, and discuss: how did David grieve? How do other people grieve? Can you describe times you grieved differently at different times in your life, and/or saw others grieving differently than you? How should we respond to people grieving? Day 2: Read 1 Thessalonians 4:13 cf. Ephesians 2:12; 2 Corinthians 4:8-9; John 10:10; 2 Samuel 18:33-19:8 and discuss: who grieves without hope? What is the danger of grieving without hope? What does it mean to despair, or be destroyed? Besides David in 2 Samuel 18, can you think of someone else in scripture who grieved without hope? Why the dramatic change in David’s grief? Day 3: Read Job 19:25-27 and 1 Corinthians 15:51-54, and discuss: where does our hope come from? What evidence is there in the verses that the Redeemer is a Person, vs. a spirit or force? How is Jesus our Redeemer? What are the wonderful truths Job shared about his Redeemer? How could Job say his skin would be destroyed, and that he would see God in his flesh? Sermon Notes for Do not Grieve as Those Who Have no Hope Please open your Bibles to 2 Samuel 12. After Brandan’s passing, I didn’t feel like I could preach the sermon that I had prepared on wisdom. I wanted to bring scripture to bear on the situation, which meant looking at accounts of people losing children. It occurs in scripture more often than you might expect, and I believe it’s because it occurs in our lives more often than we might expect. We live in a fallen world, and this is one of the worst realities of it. Last week we looked at Elijah and Elisha raising two children from the dead. We didn’t get to talk much about grief because the parents received their children back. This morning we’re going to look at an account with David, and he didn’t receive his child back. This makes the account very instructive for us regarding grief. Here’s the context… Last week I told you that when God takes a child, He isn’t punishing the parents. Most of the time that’s the case, such as in Brandan’s passing. Jim and Kris weren’t remotely at fault. They need to do their best to make sure they don’t blame themselves. But there are times when parents have contributed to their child’s death: Think of mothers smoking during pregnancy and experiencing a miscarriage Think of fathers driving drunk and getting in an accident that killed a child This morning’s account with David is an instance of sin contributing to a child’s death. God was punishing him for his adultery and murder. David hoped that God might be merciful and change His mind, so he committed himself to fasting and praying. Look at verse 15… 2 Samuel 12:15 Then Nathan went to his house. And the Lord afflicted the child that Uriah's wife bore to David, and he became sick. 16 David therefore sought God on behalf of the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. 17 And the elders of his house stood beside him, to raise him from the ground, but he would not, nor did he eat food with them. 18 On the seventh day the child died. And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for they said, “Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spoke to him, and he did not listen to us. How then can we say to him the child is dead? He may do himself some harm.” Notice David’s servants were afraid he’d hurt himself. Keep this in mind. 2 Samuel 12:19 But when David saw that his servants were whispering together, David understood that the child was dead. And David said to his servants, “Is the child dead?” They said, “He is dead.” 20 Then David arose from the earth and washed and anointed himself and changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord and worshiped. He then went to his own house. And when he asked, they set food before him, and he ate. 21 Then his servants said to him, “What is this thing that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive; but when the child died, you arose and ate food.” David’s servants were confused because of the way he grieved, and this brings us to lesson one… Lesson 1: people grieve differently. Grieving is normal and healthy; therefore, nobody should feel bad about it. God even gives us an entire book in the bible about grieving… Proverbs is the book about wisdom, Job is the book about suffering, Song of Solomon is the book about romance, and Lamentations is the book about grieving. Many of the psalms are also laments. Ecclesiastes 3:4 says there is a time to weep, and a time to mourn. In Romans 12:15 we’re told to weep with those who weep. We wouldn’t be told to weep w/ people if there was something wrong w/ weeping. David’s servants couldn’t understand his grieving…or I should say they couldn’t understand why he wasn’t grieving. People can have the same confusion today when others grieve, or don’t grieve, the way they’d expect. This happens because we don’t grieve the same, and when we see others grieving differently than the way they would grieve it can confuse us. Consider this: When some people are grieving they want to be with others…but other people want to be alone. Some people want to stay busy…but others don’t want to do anything. Some people want to listen to Christian music, others want to read scripture, and others might want to go on a walk. The point is there’s liberty to grieve differently. Last week I mentioned my brother’s death. I told you I received the news on a Wednesday night. The next day I stayed home, and I think it was the worst of my life. So on Friday I went back to school; I was teaching at that time. There were two gentlemen I worked with and we used to play racquetball together. They asked me if I wanted to play that Friday night. They knew about my brother, but when I met them at the gym they didn’t say anything…which was perfect…for me. I didn’t want to talk about what happened. For the next few hours I just played racquetball and it took my mind off everything. I suspect if anyone looked at me, they wouldn’t have known my brother died two days earlier, because I didn’t look like I was grieving. Maybe some people even would’ve judged me for playing racquetball at that time. Like with David’s servants people might have said: “What is this thing that you have done? What’s wrong with you?” Looking back I think returning to work was a good approach. Being with my students was therapeutic and enjoyable. I don’t think I would do anything differently. My mom, on the other hand, returned to work. A few weeks later she had a breakdown. They had to take her in an ambulance to the hospital. Then my parents took some time off and drove up to Oregon where they didn’t know anyone and could be alone for a few weeks. They clearly didn’t grieve enough before returning to work. I would like to offer three encouragements regarding grieving. I think this applies to all of us since all of us grieve. First, if you’re one of the people who take the approach I did and stay busy to keep your mind off what happened, or we could even say to avoid dealing with the grief, there is a point at which the grief must be dealt with. It must be processed, accepted, and taken to the Lord and worked through with Him. If this doesn’t happen it can come up in the future and have detrimental consequences. Second, if you’re one of the people who grieves by withdrawing from different responsibilities—whether school, or work, or relationships—I’ll be the first to say that this is reasonable and people shouldn’t be made to feel bad about this approach. But with that said, there’s a point at which people must reengage with their responsibilities, not just for those depending on them, but even for themselves. God has created us to work and serve, and withdrawing for too long can become detrimental to the person grieving. Third, regardless of how we grieve, there’s one thing that must be avoided, and it’s the absence of hope. I say this because this is what scripture says… 1 Thessalonians 4:13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope So there is a lot of liberty regarding grieving, but we can’t grieve without hope…and this brings us to Lesson 2… Lesson 2: we must grieve with hope. This makes sense if we understand who those are without hope. Unbelievers! Paul used the same language to describe unbelievers elsewhere… Ephesians 2:12 You were separated from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel and strangers to the covenants of promise, HAVING NO HOPE AND WITHOUT GOD in the world. ...