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Ryan and Sam sit down in the studio and attempt to have a normal conversation. Kids, animals, marriage, miscommunication… and plenty of unexpected turns along the way.
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Welcome to the weekend edition of the Daily Dad Podcast where on the weekends we do a deeper dive
and how to get better at our most important job being a parent. Sometimes in these episodes I
talk to best-selling authors and elite performers and other guests but lately I've also been having
conversations with my wife Samantha, the co-parent of my two boys. We do it over in the Daily Stoke
Studio here in Bastard, Texas. She and I talk about things that we're working on as parents,
things that we're working on as people and how we are supporting each other, challenging each
other and like I said, trying to get better at what we do. Guest or not, I hope you hear some ideas
here that will help make you a better parent. I was better for having the conversation. I hope you
enjoy. So I got you an anniversary present. No, did you really? Yeah, I'm going to be on a town.
Well, do you have me? No, that's the present I'm going to be on a town. Ah, valid. I support that.
It's a great gift. Yeah. You really do know me. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to leave you with two monsters.
Three, we got a dog. She's the worst one. Just speaking of monsters, can the turtle not be in the
house anymore? I moved her outside today. Oh, good. So it's like 65 degrees. That was a big weather shift.
Yeah, yeah. What do you mean, can the tortoise not be in the house anymore? We love the tortoise.
From the wet, like obviously the tortoise had to be inside when it was insanely cold but I feel like
we're on the other side of it. I feel like you learn a lot from me with my general stoke disposition.
I also feel like you get a lot of practice with me. I was going to say it's more like you subject me to
unimaginable stresses and triggers like all the things that I like least you often expose me to
like tortoises in the house. You had a opinion. You had opinions on that prior to my existence.
Goats in the house. I like animals. I like animals on the other side of the walls that I live in.
Hey, in our wedding vows, I said, no matter what you know, I saw it today because it's on it's
on the it's framed and I was like she did maintain that vow in our wedding vows. I said I will
continue to let the animals mouse the goats. You can't control me. I should talk to about it in a
daily stoke video and I'm going to mess up the videos. But did you know that the Roman vows are
we're like where you are guy I am guys and where I am guys you are guy. I don't really know what I
mean. But it seems pretty. It's like you don't like all of so you pick them off your food and I
like all of so I eat them. I wonder if that's what it means. I think it's more like okay like
Julius Caesar, his wife and daughter and all the female members of the clan had to be named
Julia. And so I think it's yeah, yeah, yeah, it's probably more of that. Well, I think it's a
little more that I think it's more just like Yin Yang kind of situation. They also ate all of
they did eat all of it could be talking about all of it could be about all of I love finding books
in here that I've never seen before even though I've been looking at the same. How could you remember
if you've seen them before? What do you mean? You forget stuff all the time. No, I have an excellent
memory. I just selected. What is that book? It's fun. Montana 1948 by Larry Watson. It's probably
old Western paperback. I've read a lot of these. I've read Confessions of an ugly step sister.
Red bossy pants. I've read the title of this book many times. There's like what's that tiny
little piece's book right there. There's a Christian Hannah book I've read. Driven to distraction.
I've read that one. Forgot I read it and read it again. You see we have world that only by fire here.
Well, really. Seabiscuit I've read. Do I write? You've not read Seabiscuit. I have. I love Seabiscuit.
I've read Seabiscuit like 20 times. Did you watch the movie? It was interesting how you just
tripled down on that lie. You've not read it. Do you know me when I was in like eighth grade? Zero
chance. You've read Seabiscuit anywhere close to 20. I love Seabiscuit. Why would you think that why would
I make up having a minute about that? I mean, maybe you've read it, but you've certainly not
read it. I think your denial of my reality is telling. What happens in Seabiscuit? I don't know
right now, man. You know I have a concussion. I thought you just said you have an amazing memory
and never forget anything. I do have an amazing memory. I'm just telling you that I don't have
access to that information right now because you hit me in the head. I wish I'd even hear.
Samantha called me and she said, okay. Don't make fun of me this time. Make any jokes about it,
but I did seriously hit my head again. And I said, what? How? By the way, I'm in the middle of a run
in the mountains of Palm Springs. I didn't even tell you that for a day. And she said she knocked a
bunch of stuff off her shelf onto her head. It was not good. It was not good. Did you make
the appointment with that doctor? No, I need to wait until the swelling my brain goes down for a couple
weeks. That's where I was instructed to do. Don't make fun of my editing. I'm not. I'm not. I'm
just giving people a glimpse into it. It hasn't really nice to be like, oh, I'm just leaving this
conversation because things got foggy. Like I earlier today when you were talking, I was like, I don't
want to pay attention to this. And I was like, but also it just feels like out of my grasp. And I
think it's actually very good to practice that. Well, I was going to say it's interesting that people
don't feel empowered to do that. Yeah. And the rest of their life. I don't usually, but it was
really nice. And I think that was a good lesson for me to be like, the way that you're explaining
this to me doesn't make any sense. Can you explain to me in a different way or else just come back to
me in a different time? Well, when you have kids, I do find that you out of necessity is something
that makes excuses, but you're just honest with people. You're like, I just literally cannot
because I have a baby or sorry, like, I, you know, they'll say like, mom, brain or whatever,
you just, you accept some of your limitations a little bit more when you have kids. And people are
because they have kids are a little bit more understanding of it than normal. And then that kind of
goes back. I don't think that we did that initially. I don't think I've ever done that. I think I'm
like, I don't have limitations. But no, people should be more, she should say I'm tired. I'm feeling
run down. I can't. Yeah, just like I don't. The problem is usually the people that use those
excuses are lazy are the least actually qualified to use those excuses. And then we've got really
good at just when we get emails or something, sometimes we'll go back and forth to each other.
We've gotten really good at just immediately being like, can you explain a different way or this
doesn't seem like enough information or can you break this out down more? Like, why do I have to do
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This is the only time you and I ever sit down and talk to each other.
That's not remotely true. I mean, sometimes you force me into conversations when we're sitting next
to each other in the car. Which doesn't happen very much. If you calculated up the amount of time
that we talk to each other constantly, so much it's insane ridiculous. We work together and
live together. And we talk on the phone a lot, but I'm laughing. I mean, like we work together.
You called me yesterday and you said, it is my legal obligation to interrupt and bother you.
Is my legal right? Yeah, I have something I need to tell you. And I forget what it was,
but I was like totally fine and I enjoyed it. But you're acting like we don't do this.
No, no, wait, no, no. It's not at the time. Funny thing about that is I did bring up
something to you. It's not the thing that I needed to talk to you about. I now remember what
that was. I called you for two reasons. What was the first one? Uh-huh. What was the actual one?
Well, it's not really. Oh, is it? I talked to you about it this morning. Is it juicy?
No, I got a lot of good gossip for you. We're also a huge gossip. Kids are doing what it's
wondering. Okay, wait, we never sit down and talk to each other. It's always like not in passing
as it's really because we'll talk when we're like in the car. But we're both sitting.
What are you? What is this thing you're saying? Why are you arguing with me about it?
What's not true? What it looks like? Yes, it is. This is not true. When was the time we sat down
in a table with each other without our children? But so is your point that we don't talk a lot?
No, it was your point that a certain furniture is not involved. Okay, so words matter.
Is your point that certain furniture is only occasionally involved? We'll back the tape.
But I thought it was we never sit down and talk to each other. The sitting, the furniture is
not important there, but it isn't plot up. So the body position is what's important.
It isn't plot that we are in the same room when this is happening. Not that we are both sitting
down. You're saying we don't sit across from each other and talk? I think when people
now ask you're like, how do you stay together so long? You could just say, well, you don't
break up. And I could say just be continuously baffles and question your own sanity and
existence over and over and over and over. And I haven't had that one. But I've read other.
They're probably saying, wow, it's probably because Ryan is so patient. Remember that one time?
You think while touching, you're like, I think I just have I think I just have problems because
I'm just everyone said I'm so nice. I think I said, you know what my problem is? I'm just way too nice.
Look, I think that maybe some people might say that now. Nobody was saying that.
I was like, dude, you know, I'm here, dude. I'm doing. Yeah, I'm not sure that was that was
probably not the root problem, but maybe it wasn't whatever the specific situation I was in.
I'm so sorry. Just everybody. They chose to listen to this. They can stop at any time.
So we don't talk a lot. It was your thesis. No, we never sit down and have conversations.
We've specifically while sitting at this table on this podcast talked about how the only time
we sit down and have conversations is when we are recording, planning, reflecting, I mean, we're
just in my office sitting in chairs across from each other planning. I quit. I just I just not
sure there's any evidence for this theory you have. Okay. I think it would actually be remarkable.
If we picked up our funds and we looked at how many times we call each other in the course of a
day, it might be, well, it's definitely way more than whatever it was 20 years ago.
We'll first of all, it'll be mostly be like Ryan, Ms. Coll, Ryan, Ms. Coll, Ryan, Ms. Coll,
Ryan, Ms. Coll. Ryan texting. Hey, I calling me about this.
Hey, have you left yet? And I'm like, I share my location. Can't you look? I obviously have not
left yet. Speaking of which, just so some insight for people here listening, when you pick up the
kids today, since we're doing something after, when you pick them up at 430, you have to be on the
road at 431. You can't call you at 450 and you're like, oh, we had to go to the bathroom at Starbucks.
That doesn't take 20 minutes. They look good. So it does. Your drive time is 430 to 530.
You can pick them up. One of our children might literally murder you. I would happily do it. We
should do that sometimes. We should just like just both do it and then compare and contrast.
But why do you care? Well, no, I think it would be insights into you and then it would also be
insight into me. Like, if you could also like measure heart rate throughout the day, like
there would be exactly like so I might be better at it, but I would have paid for it.
You should read this book called Stillness. Is this something? Stillness is the, just trying to
think of an S word. Sometimes people go, stillness is the way. It's not bad though, but it could be,
you just wouldn't know. Okay. So about us sitting at the table talking to each other,
like sitting down and talking to each other. I know that you don't know anything about improv.
Yeah. So to say yes, and normally I would, but what you're saying is as far from reality as
I could possibly imagine, planning something. It wasn't us talking. There was a third person there.
One is a lot. You're like, we never sit around. We don't. We were just doing it in, I was not
participating. We just talked about this. I was like, what you're saying? Is it not registering?
Where are you going? Like, oh, I've never seen these books over here before. I was like,
oh, that book looks really fun. I read that in high school. That would make good content. That's
what I was doing. Four steps ahead. You just need to. Then that was somewhere else and I was standing
for the book. I can see that was a standing conversation. Sometimes people ask me with the secret
to working together as like being in a relationship and working. And I was like, it's not successful.
Like, the relationship is working and the business is working, but it's not like,
don't recommend it. Maybe I do. It's fine.
Hey, thanks for listening to the Daily Dad podcast. You can get this email every day as well
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