Don't Trust Fish

Okay, our friends. So today we are reading a story for those of you who are learning about animals.

Are you learning about the animal kingdoms? Do you know there's several vertebrates and invertebrates?

So we know about mammals and we know about reptiles. Remember what the other types of

vertebrates are? Birds and amphibians and fish. Well, let's just see what this book has to say

about that, shall we? I can't wait to go back to animal kingdom and I can't wait to go back to

to animal kingdom and ride tron. I wasn't in the animal kingdom. I know. Oh okay. Don't trust fish was

written by Neil Sharpson, illustrated by Dan Santat and we love his work. So we're really excited

to read this story for you. Today, my friends, are you ready? Oh, today's story is read by mommy and

Peter Quill. Peter Quill, oh, star lord. I'm so excited you're here with me, star lord. Let's

learn together, shall we? You ready? Oh, in the open the book, we see a cow. A big, beautiful cow,

it's black and white and the book says, this animal has fur. This animal is warm blooded.

This animal feeds her baby's milk. This animal is a mammal, makes sense. The next one we see is a

snake and it says, this animal is cold blooded. This animal has dry, scaly skin. This animal lays eggs.

This animal is a reptile. The next page has a beautiful golden bird on it. Looks like a gold

bench maybe, right? And it says, this animal has feathers. This animal is a bird. That's it.

Anything with feathers is a bird. Birds are dead easy. The next picture we see a big, wide-eyed

green fish. And it says, this is a fish. Don't trust fish. I wonder why not? Fish don't follow any

rules. Some of them have gills. Some have lungs. Some live in saltwater. Some live in fresh water.

Some lay eggs. Some don't. They're rebels and outlaws don't trust fish.

Oh my goodness. In the picture, it sure looks like all those things are true.

When we turn the other page, oh my, more questionable things. Some fish eat seaweed.

Some fish eat other fish. Some fish eat poor innocent crabs who are just trying to have a nice

time in the sea. Don't trust fish. Fish spend all their time in the water where we can't

see them. What are they talking about? Are they plotting our doom? We must learn their fishy secrets.

And in the picture, we can see a fish. He doesn't look very smart. It says, this is Jeff. We think

he's their leader. He looks harmless, but don't be fooled. He's the craftiest fish of all. Don't trust

Jeff. Don't trust fish. And when we turn the page, whoa, there's a guy sitting here,

ice fishing. Hmm, let's ask this, why is old fishermen? Mr. Fisherman, should we trust fish?

You're only fools and landlords trust them scurvy seas and girls. I don't know why he sounds

like a pirate. That's weird. Don't trust fish. And the next picture, we can see there's a projection

and a screen in the ocean. Wait a minute. A group of fish is called a school, but what are they

learning in these schools? We have a right to know. In the picture, we can see that it looks like

someone's trying to understand a knee. We turn the page and we can see another big thing.

And it is a whale shark. It is the largest fish in the world. It is the size of a bus. That's not

okay. Why does it need to be that big? And on the next page, yikes. This is pretty

terrifying. The angler fish lives in the deepest part of the ocean and looks the way all fish do

on the inside. The angler fish attracts poor, defenseless crabs by glowing. This is called

bioluminescence. It's also called cheating and being a nasty, tricksy fish. It has very terrifying

jaws. I like fish. It tastes good. Too shame. But they may already be in your home,

watching you, waiting. And in the picture, we can see a family that has a fish tank. And the kids

are sitting there going, pancakes are yummy. Eating their pancakes, minding their own business,

but the fish, the fish are watching. And repeating back to Jeff and the whale sharks,

what they find, pancakes are yummy. You have done well. Says Jeff,

you might think you're safe. If you don't have a fish tank, wrong. Fish could be living in your

toilet. Wait, is that right? You can just flush them out. You don't think about it. Ships

always sink at sea, but they never sink on land. Isn't that strange? Titanic. Don't trust fish.

Because maybe the fish are what make them sink. Got fish? Huh. Sea horse? Tiger shark fish, fish,

fish. We see through your tricky disguises. Don't trust fish. And on the next page,

we can see a fish that looks okay. This fish is okay. You can trust him. No, that was a test.

Don't trust fish. Especially not this one. This is the worst fish. Crabbs are not fish. Crabbs

are your friends. This crab made you a sandwich. Now, isn't that nice? At least you tried. Okay,

maybe the sandwich doesn't look good. But he made it, right? We don't know that fish have

giant battle aquariums with laser beams and big long legs that will, they will use one day to

take over the world. We don't know that they don't have them either. Maybe they're on their way.

Maybe they could be here any moment. Don't trust fish. Don't trust fish. Don't trust fish.

If you don't trust fish, if you don't want to trust fish, eat them for lunch. So smart. Okay,

sorry. I got a little carried away there. Where were we? Ah, yes. On this page, we see a frog.

This animal is cold-blooded. This animal lays soft eggs in water. This animal can breathe air

and water. This animal is an amphibian. The end. Don't trust fish. And do you know who wrote this

story? A crab. And he's totally right. I would like to add something to this. Do you want to know

what I want to add? I want to add that there are some things out there in this wide, wide world

that we call fish that are in fact fake fish. And that's another reason why you cannot trust

fish. Can you name a fake fish for me? Yep. What's a fake fish? A jellyfish. It is neither jelly nor fish

liars. A cuddle fish. It is neither cuddly nor a fish. Well, catfishes are not cats.

Nonsense. Starfish? Not stars. A sea horse is not a horse. A sea dragon is not a dragon.

What is going on here? The list goes on and on. But that, my dear friends, is the end, right?