Dr Charles Stanley - Where Our Needs Are Met - Part 2

0:00I must spend time in his word, time, in his word, listening to what he has to say to me. Let me ask your question. Is he worthy of my attention? Yes. If I'm going to have an intimacy with him, I not only need to give him my attention. I need to listen carefully. And then, not only having listened to him, I need to be willing to share with him. Tell him what I'm feeling. Tell him what I'm thinking. If I'm going to have an intimacy with him, I must be willing to be transparent. The Bible explains that the only way we can find a sense of wholeness is in a personal connection with Jesus Christ. Once we receive His offer of salvation from sin, we have the capacity to experience His promise of abundant life. We're glad you've joined us for in touch the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. As we close our Unmet Need series today, we'll see how important it is to maintain a close

1:02friendship with the Lord. Now when you think about the circles around your life, do you have and are you aware that the innermost circle is reserved only for you and God? I think the first time that ever dawned on me of being able to have some kind of an intimate relationship with him though, I didn't understand it very well at the time and it was for pretty good awhile before it ever became a living reality in my own life. I remember driving down the expressway exactly where I was going under a particular bridge, no exactly where I was, no exactly what I was driving at that time and God spoke to my heart so clearly out of the blue, not even thinking about anything like this, like God said to me, I made you for myself. That was so real to me, I turned and looked. I knew God wasn't there in a human body.

2:03It was so real to me. Now you know what, it's like one of those things that God wants to walk, drop into my mind, shut it down and then it was a long time before I understood what that was about. It probably my fault. If I had been listening carefully and if I had said, well Lord, now what does that mean and how are you going to do that? Probably what happened in my life, what had happened the whole lot quicker. But you know, I heard that. It was just like somebody drove a stake in my soul. I knew what God had said but I did not know what to do about it at the time. God has a desire to have an intimate relationship with you. So what is an intimate relationship in a way? Intimacy is a close relationship that is confidential and deeply personal and motivated by genuine love for each other. That's what intimacy is all about. Intimacy is a relationship deeply personal, very confidential and motivated by genuine love alone.

3:03That is what God desires for every single one of us. And when you and I are able to walk into that relationship, we don't have to worry about our needs in longer because we know that we have such a close relationship with someone who did lights in meeting our needs. Not only has promised to do it and has will to do it and has the power to do it but delights in meeting every single need we have. Here's a loving father who desires to have this intimate relationship with him. He's taken all the initiative to do it. Now how do we develop that kind of relationship? Let's think about how do you build intimacy with another person? You build it the same way with God. And the first thing that's important is this and that is time. You don't spend time with God. You'll never have an intimate relationship with him. If I want to build an intimate relationship with him, I've got to spend time with him. You say, well we do know, no, I'm talking about just you and God. How many of you husband's wives want someone else around when you and God has worked in

4:05both of your hearts and you have a genuine, intimate, strong desire to express your genuine love for each other in an intimate physical way. You don't have anybody else around. God wants you and me by time by ourselves. So let me ask you a question. When's it last time? You just got along and just said, Lord I want you to speak to my heart. Show me yourself. Lord just let's just talk together. Now you say, man if I sat in some way and by myself talking out loud, they think that's crazy. You know what? It doesn't make any of this what anybody thinks. You and God alone. Time is absolutely essential. Second, listening. How do I listen to God? 99.99% of what you and I hear from God is going to be right out of his word. So what does that mean? It means that I must spend time in his word, time, in his word, listening to what he has to say to me.

5:06Let me ask you a question. Is he worthy of my attention? Yes. I'm going to have an intimacy with him. I not only need to give him my attention. I need to listen carefully and then not only having listened to him, I need to be willing to share with him. Tell him what I'm feeling. Tell him what I'm thinking. Now watch this next one. This is where it all shuts down. If I'm going to have an intimate relationship with him, I must be willing to be transparent, absolutely transparent. Someone honesty with him. And this is where most relationships shut down. Because the truth is, you see, if I'm going to have an intimate relationship with someone, I must be willing to open my heart and say, hear my weaknesses and hear my failures. You know, this is what I try to do, but sometimes I don't do very well. You know, I have my fears and my self-esteem hurts over here and my self-image gets damaged over here. Sometimes I feel so reject and sometimes I feel so hurt and sometimes my fears, in other words.

6:07If I'm going to be transparent, I've got to tell it like it is. With somebody who says, well, if God is intending all of his wisdom, then he knows everything. You know what? You don't have to tell him, oh, that doesn't work. Because you say, you know, I can say, well, God, now I know that you know all things in Jesus' name and totally avoid what's going on in my life. Transparency says, I'm willing to be open and honest with him. Tell him how I feel. God, you see, if you're going to have an intimate relationship with someone else, you can't keep secrets. You can't hold it in. You've got to be open and transparent, but that's where most relationships shut down. They say, you know what? We can be friends, but I can't let you in, but so close because if you knew about me, what I know about me, you wouldn't like me at all. Well, remember this, he knows it all. He knows it all. He might as well tell it. He knows it all. Another one of those words that you might want to jot down is acceptance. You know what? You can't have an intimate relationship with somebody you reject. You have to accept them the way they are and trust God to make changes.

7:10Somebody says, well, I'm going to marry someone, so I'm going to change him. You don't marry somebody to change them. You know what? God saved you and me because he loves us. And you know what? I accept the Lord the way he is, and I want to know more about him, and he's accepted you and accepted me the way we are. And so intimacy speaks of acceptance, likewise, is giving. If I'm going to be intimate and related to my father, I'm going to be giving him because he's always giving to me. Think about, isn't God always giving to us? To me, this is the most preposterous thing I could think of, that anybody would be saved and come to church and not tie their income to a God who gave to them 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every single moment before you were born from your mother's womb, God was giving to you and your mother's womb, and you come tell me that you can't afford to give you a time. I'm not telling you that because we need money. I'm saying it's absolutely ridiculous.

8:10Your God's giving you 24 hours a day. What are you giving him in return? You see, real intimacy is giving. Another word that I think is so very important here, and there are lots of them here, forgiveness. I can't have intimacy with anybody if I can't forgive them for their faults and their failures. And you know what? When I think about how forgiving, let me ask you something. Have you ever asked God to forgive you for something he said, no, absolutely not. No? He's always forgiving. Here's what I have to do. I have to forgive others whom he loves, whom he has forgiven, whom he desires to forgive. That's the way I build intimacy with him when it comes to forgiveness. And then there is trust. You will never build an intimate relationship with someone you don't trust. You cannot. There is a barrier between the two of you. You listen to that barrier of distrust is down. You will never be able to build intimacy.

9:11Whether there is no trust, there is no intimacy. Cannot be. It's like all in one. You can't have intimacy and distrust. You can't have intimacy and rejection. You can't have those things. They don't fit. Likewise, there is understanding. God understands us absolutely perfectly. You know what he deserves? He wants us to understand him. He understands us perfectly. He wants us to understand him. He wants us to know his ways. He wants us to know why he does what he does. He wants us to know his attributes. He wants us to apply the principles of Scripture in our life. And so doing. Yes. We have a one he's like when we apply the principles of Scripture to our life. We say, oh, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. That's how God's operating. God delights in our application of His principles. That's how we become understanding of who He is. And of course, a caring love. That is a love that's reaching out. A love that's caring. A love that's sensitive. That other person's need. That other person's desires.

10:12God listen. He's sensitive to every single need. Every desire we have. How you say, well, how you relate that to God because I want to be sensitive to what He wants in my life. I want to be caring about His work on earth. I want to be caring about those He loves. I want to be caring about those whom He loves, who do not love Him, who persecute Him, who are absolutely living in rebellion to Him. I want to be caring about them also. Then there is approval. You say, you can't have relationship with someone you absolutely disapprove of. You know what? The amazing thing to me is that God could approve of us, sinful as we are. He approves of us. He accepts us where we are because He knows what He's going to do in our life. We certainly approve of Him. He certainly approves of us. And then there is respect. And respect simply says that, you know, I honor you as a person. I respect you. That is, I give you the dignity of being who you are and what you do in life. And if I respect the person, listen, I don't respect them on the basis of their notoriety

11:15or how much they have or what they wear or what they drive or where they live. I respect them because they are the creations of God. Sons and daughters of the living God. That's the reason we respect people. It's not because of who they are. It's because God created them. And they have a soul, a spirit. They go down one of these days and spend eternity somewhere. They are persons whom God has created. And certainly, if I respect God, what that means is I reverence Him and honor Him as my heaven the Father. And I want to do what He says do. Likewise, is comfort. God is always comforting us. Always comforting us. And you know what? I can't comfort Almighty God because He doesn't need it, but here's what I can do. I can comfort those whom God loves. I can comfort those who are hurting by the power of the Holy Spirit living on the inside. I can't, you see, there's some things we don't give back to Him, but we give them back

12:17to Him that goes to give them those. Remember what He said? He says, in as much as you have done it, until the one of the least of these, my brother, you've done it unto me. How do I want to serve God, serving you? How can I comfort God, comforting someone else? And so all of these things are so perfectly unrelated. And then of course, there's touching. So one way to amen it now, you can't touch God, yes, can. Does God touch us? Yes, He does. For example, when you were just absolutely worn out and tired, and I mean, you've just hit right bottom, you think, God, I don't think I'm put one foot above the other, and you just say, Lord, I just, I just need you to strengthen me and help me. Well, how do you explain this surge of energy? How do you explain this burst of energy? How do you explain that? God has touched you, you say, well, you say, well, I didn't feel it. Yes, you did. Or you wouldn't have the energy. You say, well, but He just thinks the thought. And every single thing you and I need in our life, He is going to provide.

13:20Now, when I think about that, I also have to think about what is it that hinders my intimacy with Him. So I want to give you four things quickly now, watch this. First thing that hinders my relationship, my intimacy with Him is sin. If I listen, if I am rebelling against God, choosing to be disobedient to Him, violating His principles, how can I expect to have an intimate relationship with Him? I'm not going to have it. It's not going to work. It's just like that all in one. You shake them up all you want to, but they're going to separate. You cannot have an intimate relationship with Almighty God, living in sin. It will not work. The second hindrance is, let's go back to a lot of things that we've said before about our childhood and things that we've said about abuse and rejection. You see, unmet childhood needs are a tremendous hindrance to our intimacy with God. Now, why? Because where does the child get their first image of the Father, from their earthly father?

14:23You see, these things that happen in our childhood have a far greater effect on us than we realize. You take the average kid out here on the street and you say, well, what do you know about God? He's not even interested in about God. Well, what about an intimate relationship? Don't have any idea what that means. Intimarice with God, that is absolutely totally foreign. So first of all, there's sin, second unmet needs as a child, and third, an unforgiving spirit. You cannot have an intimate relationship with the Heavenly Father when you have an unforgiving spirit towards someone else. Now, someone says, does that mean I'm supposed to forget it? No, listen, you can forgive, but some things you'll never forget. You just don't have, you don't feel the pain used to feel when you have to be forgiven them. The fourth thing is fear of transparency. That will absolutely shut it down when it comes to relationship with Him because you got to be willing to be open. God, I blew it bad. Father, the truth is I'm scared to death.

15:24For the truth is I'm just full of doubt. There has to be open and transparency now. One last thing I want to say. With Him does God desire an intimate relationship with every single one of His children. With Him will God develop an intimate relationship. Turn if you will, to Proverbs chapter 3. And this very familiar chapter. Listen to what He says. Proverbs chapter 3, with whom will God have an intimate relationship? Look at this. Verse 32 says, for the crooked man is an abomination of the Lord, but he is intimate with the upright. That does not mean sinless. The upright of those who have been saved with the grace of God and have a deep yearning desire to walk in obedience to Him.

16:26And even though they stumble and fall because they still have their human weaknesses, they get up, confess it, and depend of it, move on, longing to have relationship with the Father. Now listen carefully. I don't know what your innermost circle looks like. But I can tell you how it needs to look. You and God. What He wants in your life above every single thing possible. It's intimacy. A deep, abiding, loving, closeness that is so confidential unless you tell it, God's not going to tell it just between you and Him. And you know what? All these needs that you've had back in your life about your self esteem and you've been abused and you've been hurt and you've been rejected and cast out and ignored and aborted and all the rest. You know what's going to happen? When you allow Him to draw you to Himself, He's going to so satisfy you in your relationship

17:33to Him. You know what's going to happen? It will make you the difference. What's somebody else thinks? It will make you the difference with the somebody else's exception. Let me ask you this. Who cares whether somebody rejects you when the Father has accepted you? I mean, when you're accepted by the best, does it matter who rejects you? And somebody accuses you or criticizes you? That's okay. Because you know, you have a relationship with someone who's not going to criticize you. He's only going to love you. Whether our needs get met, our needs get met best and absolutely totally fully in an intimate loving relationship with our Heavenly Father. And that invitation is extended to everyone everywhere. And Father, how grateful we are that you would reach down and pick up folks like us and draw us to yourself and love us and forgive us and pour yourself into us and meet every

18:39single need that we have and keep on forgiving us and keep on building us up and keep on instructing us and being patient with us and teaching us how to relate to one another, how to love each other. We just want to tell you, we really and truly love you, dear God, with all of our hearts. We want you to draw us to yourself and follow my prayers that every single person who hears this message will know experientially, personally what it means to have you and themselves in the inner, most circle of their life in Jesus' name, amen. You're listening to Entouch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley.

19:42If you're not a believer, you can only attempt to meet your needs with your human limitations. But once you're trust is in Jesus Christ to forgive your sin, God is your Father. And as you cooperate with Him, He will help you deal with your unmet needs. To listen again, click today on radio at Entouch.org. And that's where you can learn more about forgiveness, eternity, and what Jesus did for you. If you'd like to order a copy of today's complete message where our needs are met, stop by our online store. It's also included in our teaching set, God has an answer for our unmet needs. Again, that's Entouch.org or call or text 1-800-Entouch. You can write to us at Entouch, post office box 7900, Atlanta, Georgia 30357. Are you in the process of setting some goals? Today's moment with Charles Stanley offers some help.

20:43It's just ahead. You don't need to be perfect for your children. Kick it over this way. But with just a little encouragement. We are a pro at this, aren't you? A lot of laughter. In time and attention and a bit of patience, you'll pass along confidence and affirm connection with God that lasts a lifetime. In his book, Man of God, Dr. Charles Stanley helps us understand what it takes to grow into a man after God's own heart. Order your copy today at Entouch.org slash store. Does your prayer life need a jump start? With the Entouch praying with purpose cards, the time you spend talking with God will take on a whole new level of energy and intimacy, beautifully designed and easy to use, or to share with a friend. There are prayers to lift up each day of the month, along with corresponding Bible verses and more. For your set of praying with purpose cards, call 1-800-Entouch or go to Entouch.org slash store.

21:47You're listening to Entouch. How does a believer discover God's will? With some tips, here's a moment with Charles Stanley. My goals land up with God's purpose and plan for my life. If they do, there will be no contradiction in the goals I set, no contradiction with his word. There's some things that you and I may like to accomplish and achieve that are not God's will for our life. Is there a contradiction here between what he desires from me and what I desire for my life? Can I honestly and truly ask God to help me in this situation? So the issue is, how can I know and how can I absolutely be certain? There's a passage of Scripture in Colossians that I want you to listen to for just a moment, because for me, it's the key in making these decisions and coming to the place where I think I'd genuinely have peace. Yes, what he says in the third chapter of Colossians in the 15th verse, let the peace of Christ

22:50rule in your heart, because his peace is his way of giving us that very silent assurance that what we're doing is of him or if it's not of him. And I can tell you this, every time I've ever violated that, without an exception, I did the wrong thing. And so you can't ignore God's warning, because to ignore his warning is a mistake. And usually it's a costly mistake. God is willing to give you direction for setting goals. You ask him for direction, Lord, in your wisdom and your omniscience and your love and devotion to me, what do you want to accomplish and achieve in my life? He will show you what to do. And my desire for everyone is that you set goals for your life and not only set them, but then you're diligently willing to listen to God and walk through those goals one step at a time.

23:51You can learn more about the Christian's life of faith with our online resources at intouch.org. Tomorrow on Intouch, gratitude is not just a pleasing personality trait. A thankful heart should be characteristic of every believer. And that's our topic Thursday on Intouch, the teaching ministry of Dr. Charles Stanley. This program is a presentation of Intouch Ministries at Lanta, Georgia and remains on this station through the grace of God and your faithful prayers and gifts.