Dr. Dan & Humanity’s Red Flags CONDENSED

My name's Mackenzie, and I started to go fund me

for the adoptive mother of a nonverbal autistic child.

The mother had lost her job

because she wasn't able to find out

what care for this autistic child.

So she really needed some help with living expenses,

paying some back bills.

So I launched a GoFundMe to help support them

during this crisis.

And we raised about $10,000 within just a couple of months.

I think that the surprising thing was

by telling a clear story and just like really

being very clear about what we needed,

we have some really generous donations

from people who are really moved

by the situation that this family was struggling with.

GoFundMe is the world's number one fundraising platform

trusted by over 200 million people.

Start your GoFundMe today at GoFundMe.com.

That's GoFundMe.com, GoFundMe.com.

This podcast is supported by GoFundMe.

The sun shining, birds are singing

and all feels right in the world.

Until the season changes

and suddenly you lose your motivation to get out of bed.

In fact, one in five people experience

some form of depression no matter the season or time of year.

At the American Psychiatric Association Foundation,

our vision is to build a mentally healthy nation for all

because we want you to live your best life

and be your best you all year round.

Please visit mentallyhealthynation.org to learn more.

When your old career gives you lemons, throwing some ice,

mixing some vodka,

we call it a podcast.

From the Mac of all trades studio in Fairport

and driven by Victor Chrysler Dodge Jeep Ram,

it's billified, the Bill Moran podcast.

Well, hello and welcome.

Thanks for getting your pot on.

Thanks for telling a friend.

That's how we spread the word about the pirate ship.

Look who's here.

Oh, handsome and ready to go.

This microphone smells like deviled eggs.

Now, why don't the cameras switch?

Probably, I can't even.

I can't even.

How do you think this camera's on?

Yes, it is.

It's on.

I don't see the light.

It's on.

Okay.

I'm looking at you.

I just can't get it to change anything.

Hold it.

Wait.

Now you're up.

Wait.

Now what happened now?

I got you superimposed.

Hang on.

Let me.

For like a green screen.

No.

As you can see right here.

We have some interpretation.

Oh, I see what's happening.

I see what's happening.

I see what's happening.

I see what's happening.

I see what's happening.

I see what's happening.

I see what's happening.

I did something wrong now.

Did you?

Yeah.

Story in my life.

Don't worry.

I did something.

There we go.

There we go.

I have it on auto.

So this is weird.

And I don't like it.

But I have.

What do I have like horns or something?

No, I had.

I was letting the cameras change on their own sort of automatically.

Okay.

And it would go back and forth to us.

But at some points, it's like it's fading out of me and fading into you.

We look like like the son of the moon.

Michael Jackson.

Some black or white video.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

All right.

Well, I'll just ignore that.

And we'll see.

I'm going to let it go.

I like.

I like.

I'll let the.

The supervising producer yell at me about all that stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here we have one of those now.

Live from New York.

I got a message.

And I love when we get messages from our listeners.

Dear Bill.

This one is.

It's from a long time billified listener dog.

We've only been around like four years.

So that's that's quite a long time.

Yeah.

He's a long time listener.

This is our senior year, Billy.

Yeah.

This is for sure.

You're right.

That's right.

A question for.

And he has a question for what I am calling Dr. Dan.

All right.

That would be you.

Dear Dan.

Dr. Dan.

Hey, Bill.

Doctor said I should add fiber to my diet.

Way ahead of you.

Good.

I remember Dan Barillo saying to buy the Wegman's fiber pills.

But I can't remember if he said buy the red or the blue.

He was adamant on one or the other.

It was neither.

It wasn't fiber.

It wasn't fiber pills.

It was the top care.

Green.

Green.

Yeah.

And white.

Over the orange.

Yes.

Yeah.

It was the bottle.

And it was it was the fiber powder.

Not the pills.

Fiber powder.

I don't know what it scores like a hundred or almost a hundred on the Yuka test.

You don't want to buy the metamusel and you don't want to buy the orange.

You want to buy the green.

I've tested them all, baby.

And if you can't afford that, get some flax seed and grind that up.

That'll work too.

Okay.

I add both to mine.

Okay.

Wait.

Flax seed and.

Yeah.

You must shit rope.

Bro.

You got it.

Seriously.

You could pull ships with that thing.

Dude, they call them road apples.

Instead of not telling you.

You can't get into horses, leave the piles.

Yes.

I look in.

You were looking and go, man.

Yeah, that was me.

Well, first of all, I love that Dan Barillo has become the fiber expert of western New York.

Everybody's got, it's like, it's a dirt digler once said, Billy, everyone's blessed with one special thing.

And he's got apparently his fiber.

Okay.

But here's the thing.

Somewhere, right here, the Greater Rochester area, some guy, attended the U of R.

I went to their medical school for 12 years to be a gastroenterologist.

But it's Dan is like, no, no, no, no.

If you're going to take the fiber, you get the green capped fiber from top care.

Yes.

Yes.

Two scoops.

And that, when I, after I read this, I keep thinking, I go, that's something that's very, very human about us.

It's when somebody speaks with confidence, we buy a hook line and say, come on, man.

It's so funny.

You bring them.

Oh.

So today I found on Twitter or X.

Yeah.

John Ratsonberger.

Yes.

His story about how he tried out for cheers.

He was trying to be somebody else on cheer.

Well, he was, he was auditioning for Norm.

Yes.

Yes.

They didn't know they were going to have another role on the show.

Right.

It was really just going to be Sam, coach, Diane, and Norm.

Those were the four.

Norm was going to be the bar fly, obviously.

And his only lie was going to be bear.

Yeah.

That was it.

Yeah.

And apparently Cliff, I'm sorry, John Ratsonberger didn't pass the audition.

So he's going to fly back to England.

And they didn't like the read.

It didn't go well.

So they kind of pulled a curveball on him.

So he's walking out of the room and he was, hey.

Do you guys have a role for a bar and know it all?

They go, what do you mean?

Well, I'm from New England.

My father owned a bar and every bar in New England has a bar and know it all.

And they would defer to this guy, whether he knew what he was talking about or not,

because he spoke with such authority.

Yes.

And so John Ratsonberger, they go, okay, well, let's create a role.

And Cliff Klaven was born.

He auditioned for it.

He had a fake Boston accent.

That wasn't how he really talks.

Okay.

Because he was more of a serious actor.

He was also, I think, in Space Balls and stuff, too.

But he was like, he was like classically trained and stuff.

And the character Cliff Klaven was born because he just happened to turn around on his way out the door and go,

hey, if it's in a England-based bar, if it's a Boston bar, you got to have a bar, know it all.

And he played that guy.

And that's why I saw that.

I thought to myself, I am the billified Cliff Klaven.

Whether I know it or not, whether it's true or not, I speak with such authority that it has to be true.

It does.

It's like, somebody mentions one tiny detail with confidence.

And suddenly, it becomes gospel.

And so, you know, whether it's the red pills, the blue pills, the fiber pills, the can of fiber, the jar fiber, the red orange, whatever,

you say it, and that's it.

And if someone says something confidently enough, we buy into that shit.

And I almost think that with the internet, that is some of the problem.

Don't you?

Yes.

I do.

And here's the best part.

Like, I have actually, since the advent of AI have gone back and researched, and then re-researched through other AIs,

if some of this stuff that's being pushed by influencers is true.

And some of it isn't.

Some of it isn't.

And even the AI will tell you, even we're not foolproof.

You have to go and check us with others as well.

Okay.

So, even Grocks like, yeah, well, here's the plat, the pratfalls.

If you don't use us for legal advice, don't use us for financial advice.

Why they got to cover their basins, right?

Don't use us for medical advice.

But for everything else, sure, why not?

And so, I've kind of run this stuff.

And like, Gary Breck is a famous guy who likes to promote healthy stuff.

Yeah.

And he goes, hey, you're going to dehydrate yourself if you drink too much water.

You got to put salt.

And this one guy who's a doctor, a kidney doctor goes, I'm a kidney doctor.

I've drank water my entire life like most humans.

I've never put salt in it.

I've never been dehydrated.

So, I don't know what you're talking about.

Okay.

So, you got to like kind of take everything they don't pun intended.

A great salt and do some homework on it.

But fiber is always good for you.

Yeah.

Well, okay.

I'm starting to, when would you take fiber?

What time of day?

And here's why I ask.

Because I happen to be somewhere like St. John Fischer's.

And I don't want to be blown up the bathroom.

Right.

You know, because sometimes it's fiber.

You grow a tail, bro.

Especially because I eat figs every day.

And that helps as well.

I typically, now that you mention it, I would take the fiber maybe at night.

Really?

So that in the morning, you could take care of it all.

It's because like here's what I do.

I don't eat until noon every day.

Yeah.

So, I'm, like, kind of an interminently fasting now for like five, six years.

Just because it's become old hat.

Okay.

It really doesn't work as far as weight loss goes.

It works more for like autophagy and anti-aging properties.

And even that's a little suspect.

But I'm just accustomed to it.

But I don't like fibers considered calories.

So, I eat it with my first meal, which is typically lunch around noon.

And then around two or three o'clock.

When will your laxatives start working?

So it might be better just to take it with dinner or at night or when you write it like about an hour or two before you go to bed

Okay, you think that's the better time. It could be I'm sorry. I'm trying to mess with the camera

Yeah, you know, Sammy. I take my fire, you know, what do I feel?

All right now we're there

Don't not doing stuff. I kid we got to run that by our executive producer

We need more equipment. I I'm like in the turn. I'm gonna turn the cameras away from me because now

It's just changing camera positions from one to the other, but I thought I turned off the automatic camera shit

This is annoying anyway. It's like those 1990s wedding videos. They like they dissolve it to each other's face. Yes, yes, that's exactly what we've got

There are certain little behaviors as I got this thing and I thought of you when I thought of you as the

The ex the Western New York fiber expert that you are

The Toyota tundra and Tacoma are built to keep going blending rugged muscle with precision engineering all supported by

Toyota's time tested legacy of dependability step into a tundra and feel the unyielding capability with the available

I force max engine tundra puts out impressive power torque and towing performance and the roomy high-tech cabin keeps you connected on the go or

Take a look at Tacoma made for drivers who push past the path agile tough and relentless with available features like crawl control

A portable JBL speaker a power lift gate so gear goes in fast and the adventure keeps moving the Tacoma and tundra are

Engineered to endure season after season mile after mile so drive one home today visit toyota.com or stop by your local Toyota dealer to find out more Toyota

Let's go places. Place and you're gonna talk about all that stuff. I started thinking about just like

There are certain little behaviors in life that kind of immediately

Make you think that may be someone I want to avoid

You know, I mean you pause is that somebody I want to be radio. They were the callers. Well

Now

Because everybody talks about

Relationship red flags we hear that all the time right yes tells well

I'm I'm I started thinking and noticing things that I go these are human red flags

The red flags of people that I

That's a watch your face

Because see so what are in your opinion Dan? What would be the red flags that make you cautious

Around someone in every day life because I've got a list that when I started this list

It would just keep coming to me and I made a list

But just think of off the top of your head

What are the red flags that make you cautious around someone in every day life

Like they come back from lunch smelling like alcohol. Okay. I'm a little okay. I'm a little leery

I mean that not not not just once

But regularly yeah

If you're a co if they're a coworker or if they smell like weed in the middle of the day

If you want to do that stuff fine, but if you got to do it every day around lunch and then give the guts to come back to work

Okay, now if you're in radio that's different, but if you're doing a real job

I'm a little I'm a little cautious of your life choices. Okay. I think certain people who

Um

That's just one um, I'll give you one that I say people who have to constantly talk about themselves. Yeah

Yeah, sure. Okay. I have I have a couple cool. Okay

The car dashboard museum

When I see someone in a parking lot that their dashboard is just

All kinds of charge keys. Mm-hmm. There. That is a person

That I don't even want to be on the roadway

What about the jeep people with the ducks? Okay. Is that an exception? Not because I don't have a thing

I go the duck is Q one or two you have so many fucking ducks

Dude, I've seen people with an entire dashboard like looking like

Rich stadium. Yeah, of of of of of of ducts. If your dashboard

Looks like the clearance aisle of hobby lobby. No

All your fucking ducks. I don't care. Oh, trust me. It's that hobby lobby. It's more like Ollie's

Okay, I'm worried. I don't think I'm worried. I'm worried if that's you

Because when the sun hits your windshield and all of a sudden your dashboard is sparkling like a finger-like slot machine

That's a casino or in trouble. You know what I yeah, like I those are people honestly

God or you ever see somebody they've got the dream catcher the rosary breeds the crystals

The air fresher the air fresh a little Buddha

The cars got six religions and no fucking seatbelts. No, that's like I go. Okay. That's somebody

I don't want to be around that's someone I don't want to be on the road with that to me is a human red flag or if the tires and

The rims cost more than the car. Yes human red flag. Yes, human red flag

But human red flag

Because you know what would be the male equivalent because I am blaming mostly women for the the dashboard museum

And it's usually older women

That probably have a bunch of cats at home

You gotta go out and get the cat food

What would be the male equivalent of that like bumper?

Oh gosh, yeah bumper nuts is a big one or the Calvin peeing on somebody's Calvin peeing on anything

Ford Chevy Calvin peeing on Calvin. I gotta be honest like maybe it makes me less of a dude

I don't fucking know, but I would never want Calvin pissing on anything

Yeah, unless it was I can't even say anything that identifies you like you're going out on a limb with a bumper sticker right any

bumper sticker

I love the red wings, but I don't but I would never put a go wings on the back of my car

I worked at cmf with you for six seven years. I would never put a cmf bumper sticker on the back of my car

Yeah, I never did you okay, right? There are people who have like even Jesus bumper stickers

Hang on a second. I'll be sorry. No, I can't do that. I I now here's here's my dilemma with that

There's a big push to get some billified merchant merchandise

Okay, so there's been a lot of talk lately of hats and things like that. So once I think I get the shirt

This says cancel survivor

That's ours

Uh

If I want to get one for Kevin that says I beat anorexia that's illify

But if like I so there's hats being looked at and others and there's people and we got to get you on this email

Thing it's only been one or two one person. Okay, Sammy. I'll be honest. Yeah, well. I'd like your opinion

Yeah, I appreciate the fact that you like my opinions since I'm like a Mason of this show. Yes, I like your opinion

But I go

How weird I don't know that I could wear a bill if I had it feels too self-serving

I didn't even like wearing CMF stuff when I work to see. Yeah, I didn't see here's how I was right. Yeah

If I didn't get the shirt or the hat I'd feel like left out like

Like I wasn't important enough to get the shirt of the head like you and Tommy would get it

Cano would get it cano get like seven

One for every day of the week rabbit's in the head his own custom made CMF shirt. Yeah

Right, but like I'm like

What I don't get one and then I get one of like

All right, who wants it?

I didn't wear it. I don't want to wear this. I gave away all my radio stuff. Yeah, all of it. I gave it away. You did? Oh, yeah

I have a drawer full somewhere and I know people who would actually pay for that stuff

No, I should probably frame it and put it in here. Mm-hmm honestly or wherever we end up before you could get a tattoo like brother

Wee's that worked here in here. No, I don't I don't want any tattoos. No

Another one. I guess I have to go back human red flags. Another one human red flag

Well the selfie industrial complex. Oh dude, huh dudes with selfies are a big big okay big red flag

Okay, let's brought this up because there's another subject I want to talk about but go ahead if I look

If every post is your face

You are your own religion

Wow, this is not yourself. You're not social media. You are a digital shrine to yourself

100% there was a woman that I dated. I think she still lives in Rochester and

She invited me over to dinner. I didn't know she had a kid

Which is fine. I walk in her little boy her son should see a little boy

He was like a teenager answer the phone or answer the door. Yeah, I'm like. Oh, hi. I'm here for someone so. Oh, yeah

She's over here and I walk in the house and

Every picture in the house was not of her son not of her mother not of her no her

Her every picture in the house on the mantle on the wall

It was like a like her if her Facebook. I'm sorry if her house could be a Facebook page. Yeah, or an Instagram page

It was of her face everywhere. I'm like yeah run this chick is not worth the aggravation

No, because if you're post five selfies a day

And

No, but that that's not confidence. That's holding your self esteem hostage. Yes, that is that's ridiculous

It's absolutely itself the most the craziest thing I'm trying. Oh, I'm able to change the cameras again

I got control back

Control me control the end of my life

I need more control my life

Ever look at your wall and think hmm

That whole definitely wasn't there yesterday

Or maybe your faucet's got a drip that's slowly driving you into madness

That's when you got to call my buddies at Mac of all trades because it's your home

And if you don't have the skills to fix it yourself

Go to the people who do and trust me. There's nobody better than Mac of all trades

They do everything leaky faucet they got it drafty windows and doors done electrical plumbing carpentry sure

Full kitchen or bathroom model. Oh, yeah, they'll do that too from patching the hole that someone made by definitely not

Slamming the door to transforming your entire space Mac of all trades gets it done quickly and the right way

Stop putting up with cold drafts and half finished to do list give them a call at 585

202 90 218 or find them online at Mac of all trades.net get started on that to do list today

Mac of all trades no job too small

What do we need to know or what do we need to believe that something happened?

And I bring this up because as we mentioned

Bam at a bio

Bam at a bio scored 83 points the other night now what happens in basketball oh that was

Somebody posted about that. Yes, if that was what you were gonna. Yes, that's what I was talking about. Oh, that was another one

Yeah, yeah, okay

And it sounds insane right 83 points especially in today's league

But the wizards aren't that good they were not playing great defense

He had 30 something by the end of the first paying for John wall. Yeah, the right and the first quarter. It was terrible

But then everybody's bringing up like he he surpassed Kobe who had 81

And by the way, I think in that game

Kobe went to the foul line the least out of the top three guys in scoring. So he wasn't being fouled a lot

And then you go to it was his last game

Oh was it was Kobe's last game. Okay, well, he went there. He actually like missed a few shots to start the game

Yeah, like when he finally calmed down. Yeah, I turned the game off like okay. This could be a Kobe thought

I didn't realize he was gonna score 80 something points

That was a historic game. Yeah, this was his last game. We were like laying off Kobe

Well, like magic Johnson's last all-star game. This is interesting because got it. It's give it to him. You've got

You look oh my god, you look at

The Wilts Chamberlain game hundred points in 1962

He's the biggest guy on the court in Hershey, Pennsylvania, but but playing the next

but

There's no footage and the only thing they still have is like the fourth quarter called on radio

Oh, is that it but I thought you meant like the picture he's holding up. That's all they got one hundred is a picture

And there are people who go this is bullshit. It didn't happen

There are people who say that they go. There's no way

Matter of fact

Yeah, my kid came into me and goes there's no way

That he did that he goes because he goes and let me tell you something Larry bird

What a fucking owned him and I'm like do you realize how big Wilts Chamberlain was all will need to do was get inside

There was no three point play or three point shot there

And they tried fouling all these games become unethical. They just do because now the whole thing is how do we stop this

The only way to stop it is to foul the guy and hope he doesn't make foul shots

Well will was making the foul shots. Yes, so then they start fouling the other players on the team

And the same thing with at a bio of the other night he somehow he got like they just started fouling

He could have probably gotten to a hundred

There's so many needs to just let it go at some point

Unfortunately, you're going to be in the record book is the team that let well the weird thing is that

out of bio is not known as a score. No, he's not so I'll bet you like on Fandall most there might be an investigation in the year like

All right, Pam's gonna go off man some get your bets in now, right?

Because there's a little whispers, but I don't think that'll be the case. No, he's not a score

I'm sure most people bet the under on Fandall last night whoever bet the over was like oh, man

Wow, right, but but let's keep it with sports for a second when we say what what do we need to believe

pre 1990s

A lot of sports history

Kind of sounds like folklore

In a way, I mean

It's like your uncle at the holidays

After a six pack you know, I'm saying he starts to argue about the hey, you know you back in my day. Yes

Uh, I don't Graham could throw a ball Mickey Mantles legendary home runs. We've got a couple

We've got a couple preserved five hundred twenty five feet. Yeah, but was it I don't know we don't know

Uh, Babe Ruth calling it a shot

I don't even know is there footage of that in Chicago. There is footage of him pointing but pointing

But do we know if it's only my own friend says he doesn't think that that really happened that became a legend

Yeah, I want to believe the legend. I want to believe he calls this is what I'm saying. It becomes folk lore

That that's the thing and we like that

But what do we need to believe because now we live in a world where even when there is footage

We still don't believe it. No, we don't believe it. I thought you were a type of Wiltshire Merlin's 20,000 women

I mean, what's more believe about that or a hundred points that he's got in the game

You know, I'm saying you got to have faith Billy. I'll tell you this. I'll tell you this

There is there is something about athletes that are of a certain

They're just they're cut of a certain chip right they just are these guys and Wiltshire Merlin was known to be a part of

Like I think before that game had partied hard the night. He would drive from New York City the Hershey

And he was in New York City and I the 20,000 sounds

Astronomical it's 2.3 per day. Yeah, I got it. I got it. They've done the math thought but it it I mean it could be

I

I would actually find that and I know this sounds strange. I find that more believable than the hundred point

Yes, there's more defense and bad women aren't putting up any defense

You and I are old enough to remember a gentleman by the name of David Wells

Yeah, who supposedly yeah

Had quite a night out. Yeah, the night before he threw a perfect game dude. I'm telling you where I only 24 of those have been thrown in

Majorly baseball district and I believe that because I think that there's a thing that happens to some of these guys

And I have a little bit not like this, but like Michael Jordan will go out and play two

18 whole rounds and then come in and fucking blow you off the court

Lawrence Taylor most people would be exhausted Lawrence Taylor would be out partying

Snorting cocaine. Do you hear this story?

I don't know. He had like four sex in a game or something after he went out all night in New York. Yeah

He shows up at 6 a.m. It fills Sim's house on a Sunday of a game

Chris Sims at six years old answers the door Mr. Taylor. Yeah, as you've got the home

Yeah, I ain't he feel like I got about your golf shoes. I know we have the same size. This guy's going to let me play his course in the morning

Goes yeah, okay, he bottles his golf shoes. He goes in place 18 shows up at the stadium at like 11 o'clock

And ends up having a huge day. Yeah, like didn't go to bed. No, there's just something that happens with these guys

It's an adrenaline. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I think Jordan had it

I think I wouldn't be surprised if everybody of that level to some degree has it there may be you know a few

Guys who don't but I don't know

But back to the believer in our belief now great. Do we believe those stories? I'm saying here

Yes, and I bet you we could find a doctor ago

Fucking impossible Keith Richards says he would stay up for days and he's 80 something years old

There are stories about Rick Flair that would make you think he would have died

Yeah in a sport where they average nine wrestlers a year dying in their prime

And somehow, what do you think that is uh, well, it's like playing a football game

Seven days a week twice on Saturday twice on Sunday and doing it 300 days a year. Okay

Okay, like foot like Lawrence Taylor. You want to talk about Lawrence Taylor actually russled at Russell Mania

And said it was harder than any football game he'd ever played

now

That's the contact I mean he played professional football at the highest level right one of the greatest probably the greatest defensive player of all time

And he said that was harder than any football game he ever played now you're Rick Flair and you're doing what they call broadways

Meaning you're on you're in the ring not five to ten minutes like the WWE

We're talking like 30 to 60 minute matches right and then he would drink five beers and do 12 shots

He wasn't in the drugs, but he drank yeah, and he would still get up

He'd fly halfway across the world go to Japan and Russell and fly back

And it's yet like it's like are these stories true? They asked the Russians. Oh, yeah

Oh, yeah, we don't know how he's still alive. Well, what's the one on the uh on across uh country flight

Who was the Dodgers uh

In a home running drink case of you earlier. Oh, it's Wade Box. Yeah, we supposedly drank

60 beers or something on a cross country cross country flight

Yeah, I could see it. I mean, I can see that for sure

But we we literally just as an example we literally have footage

Of Neil Armstrong

First man on the moon the first guy to walk on the moon there is moon dust and they put um

The

Footprints there and we're not there are people who absolutely

Unequivocally will never believe that

Never believe that we did that. Oh, yeah, and there's even stories were president Clinton said he was having a meeting and the republicans and the democrats weren't getting along on this certain thing and he goes

And then the NASA was there that day was can I have this moon rock?

They go you got to give it back to us mr. President goes. I'm mr. President Clinton. I'll get you moon rock back

He brings the moon rock into the role when he goes hey look this moon

This is a piece of the moon the moon's gonna be here. We're all just passing through. Yeah, like this is the actual part of the moon

Yeah, and it's like why would a president just you know do that

And tell that story and make that whole thing up

Maybe he would because there's a lot of things these guys make up

But I mean, I really believe we walked on the moon

But now like he got guys like Rogan saying no, no, it was all stage never happened because look at the footprints and look at the back of their shoes and look at this

It's like but that that's what I'm saying. Okay, so video evidence isn't enough

What is and honest to god weren't we have the the social media trust

The collapse we don't trust any no it has collapse because we have way too much footage way too much footage of everything and people's

Dale don't believe trust none of it none of it

If the new year has you saying I did not sign up for this like a workers

Compt case social security disability or a personal injury claim

Don't try to Google lawyer your way through it

Go to Connors and Ferris. They have offices in Buffalo, New York City Syracuse and Rochester and

They'll get back to you within 24 hours. Yeah, so even when you're stressed scrolling at 2 a.m

You can call 262 comp

Tell them a little bit about what's going on in your life and within 24 hours

One of their attorneys will get back to you. You'll talk to real lawyers who will explain things in plain English

Not legal mumbo jumbo workers comp social security disability personal injury

Complicated absolutely something you should handle alone

Nope

Connors and Ferris

Experience responsive and committed to serving you better called 262 comp helps available right now

You

Exciting because we haven't done this in a while

But I thought of another red flag person. Okay

Now once in a while I find this okay. I've been guilty of it. Okay

Is this Dixie chicks? Listen to me. My old

All of this enough to carry us through

That's right baby. Who is this? I don't know. It's

It's royalty. I get we get to we get to use it. Oh

But but what I was thinking is the person who laughs at their own jokes

But I don't mean just laughs then. I mean like slapping the table, right? We don't want anybody like that

Well, I'm laughing at your own jokes. Okay. I'm talking about slapping the table wheezing kicking it out

And I started oh, I was reminded I have done that done that too where I have left or every show I remember like I used to

I would want to I was to think of a singer to come back at Tommy with and I would start laughing before I delivered the line

Because it was so funny. How do you do that too? Yes every time he every time he say something funny

He look at me because he knew yes, I would crack up. Wow. That's what a comic does you're looking

Yes, the best so I was if I were Tommy. I'd laugh at my own jokes too. I would I was thinking uh

Of doing this bit of a million years ago and how I used to get excited and I would laugh

I just did so Dan picked the state of Kentucky. Well, I think juice for the bringing back this idea resurrecting this idea is

He wanted to call a place in Kentucky. Mm-hmm. So my phone is hooked up

Uh, I did not get a burner phone

We're gonna try to use some kind of technology that maybe we'll protect us. Maybe it won't I'll

cellular one

Now I should I give you

Uh, the names I'll give you the names of three

Places

Okay, and I won't say where in Kentucky. We're calling okay, but we're calling in the state of Kentucky

So these will be tanning slides and and tell people what you're gonna say what what what what's the idea? How long?

The idea is that I represent a funeral home. I'm an undertaker or a funeral director and our makeup artist

Yeah, Yvonne Yvonne is out is out with some type of illness or situation

I've actually come up with some so

We need to get Mrs. Johnson or somebody else's name that I'm gonna throw in here

Their body needs to be you know

Warm are colored. Yes for a show it. Yeah, like makeup. Yeah, we need to make up artist. She does she tells us it

So we got a brown at the meat a little bit

So we need to swing her by the tanning bed just to get some color

Yes, let me uh get this off and I'm gonna put on a little dial in music here

Yeah, little dial in music for you Dan. It's yourself all set

Uh

So now what do we want here? Do we want to see if we can get someone to stay on the longest?

Which one of these funeral parlors? Oh, sorry, which one of these tanning beds will stay on the longest

Okay, let's see if we can set a record and then every every time we do this we ought to try to break our record

Hi glow society. Hi glow society. My name is Kevin from the Connors and Ferris funeral home. How are you today?

I am doing well. How are you good? Who am I speaking with?

This is glow society. This is Donna. Oh Donna. Hi. Are you the manager at glow society?

I am. How can I help you? Yes, so we're from the Connors and Ferris funeral home 262 comp and

We have a little situation going on our makeup artist Yvonne

We had a sender home

I don't know if you're familiar with Lou Holtz the old Notre Dame coach who passed away recently

Well, we have him and Yvonne our makeup artist

We had a sender home because she was playing patty cake with mr. Holtz who's a big fan and so

But we have a showing for mr. Holtz like tomorrow and we don't have a makeup artist

So we need to bring mr. Holtz Notre Dame head coach motivational speaker

We need to bring his body down and get some color and we were hoping you could help us with that Donna

And he is in bowling green. Yes

football that's so interesting football town

Ha bowling green Kentucky. Yes, it's where he's from it's where he got that exit. Yeah

Huh, well, yeah, I'm not a makeup artist. No, we don't we're not asking you to do makeup. We just want to brown up the meat a little

No, sir. No, who is this?

This is Kevin from the Connors and Ferris funeral home

Kevin, I am so sorry. I'm not going to be able to help you. What if we three a few extra bucks the Holtz family's got a lot of money

Uh, they probably do but I'm not your girl. I appreciate you thinking of me though

The pope is going to fly in for this because he was Notre Dame's head coach. Yes, really that

So cool. Well, you know what there are a ton of other places that you could probably contact. I am I'm so booked

I can't even get uh, what's this guy's name again?

Lou Holtz. I cannot get him in. You can't go booked. I can't know. I cannot even get him in

Bowling green's favorite son and you can't get me a bit to just like, you know, color

Walk. Yeah, I'm so slow. Can you recommend another tanning salon?

I can't know because I'm I don't really know of any other ones. Okay. Now are you guys like do you guys do spray tans or do you do like the uh, you lay in the bed?

No, we do not do the lay in the bed. The lay in the bed is very bad for you and it can actually get you in a situation like Mr. Holtz. Ah, okay

We don't need well. He's already gone. So it really wouldn't matter. I just need to right. I even stand him up

You want to spray him. That's all I need. No, I'm good. I'm I'm so good. I appreciate you. Okay. Thank you, Dad

I appreciate your help today

Okay, have a good night. You too. You got it. Bye bye

Danny, what are you doing bringing up Lou Holtz? Well, he's dead. I know

Bowling green. Yeah, it could totally happen. No, he would like that was that was the tipping point for her. Okay,

I didn't believe it. But she kept going. Oh wow, because she was just playing along with her friendly. You weren't giving her too hard of a time, but

All right, we got one more. I won't do Lou Holtz this time. I'll just say Mrs. Johnson, Mrs. Johnson or just say like the Johnson family. Uh, you know, they're they're they're very

I don't know film throbbing in around town. Okay, or even say you're calling from a different place. Like I'm calling from Lexington. They're very film throbbing in Lexington

And okay, you know, so I'm like that. I don't know. Yeah, but that was such an obvious

I go, man, we're out of practice. We're out of practice. We gotta get better. But how long we were on the phone with her though? Uh, I did not get it right down the time. I didn't. I can go back and find out. All right, I can figure that out

Lou Holtz is in Bowling green. He's gonna be very next to secretary. What's the problem?

Slate tanning salon. It's just generic enough. Yeah, they're probably not with it. Just generic enough

Now the problem is I think

We may have to I may have to get a bird. I think that's the problem

Hi, yes. Who am I speaking with, please

This is Addy. Hi, Addy. My name is Kevin and I'm calling from the Connors and Ferris funeral home here in town. How are you today?

I'm good. How are you? Good. Good. We have a little situation here. Um, as you know, we do funerals here and we have a very wealthy philanthropic family in town

The Johnson's who you have to have a showing tomorrow in our makeup artist Yvonne

Is out sick with the herbs and we were hoping that we could

Get some get some color for the body of Mrs. Johnson before the showing tomorrow or this family's good to lose their crap

Oh

Fortunately, we don't have any makeup artist here

What you guys do spray tanning

Yes, okay, all I need is some color so I can bring Mrs. Johnson by after hours or even now if you like

All we got to do we got the horse will just swing her in on a gurney and then we just proper up in the spray tanning bed

And you guys could just spray her up and down real quick because like this showings tomorrow and we're good

I mean, Yvonne's not coming back. She may be transitioning

So we don't know who's coming back. We just know that we got to get this body some color

Okay, can I give you a call back and I'll talk to one of my managers if we can do that. Yeah, absolutely

Um, and then what was your name?

My name is Laura

Okay, um, and I'll get existence a good number to call you back on. Yes

Yes, I'll give you a call back. Thank you. Thank you

Now that wasn't funny, but she bought it

Okay, so we're gonna have to come in here. It just just blast them out for it for like three hours until we get like three good

Well, yeah, I mean, that's what you got to do, but she shouldn't be able to call back

Mm-hmm

Because that'll talk if she does call back be like hey listen, um, they changed plans. No, I'm not gonna do that

We're gonna say what are you talking about? I'm gonna Rochester. Where are you from?

All right

She didn't I mean she played along, but she wasn't playing like she thought we were serious. Yeah

Well, she was smart enough to say we don't have any makeup artists. You're like, yeah, I don't we guys do spray tans, right?

Yeah, I think the way we used to say it was our makeup artists is off

We're kind of stuck can we bring the body over and you give it a little spray tan. Okay, so that way we're not saying

Like we're looking for makeup artists. Although it's not terrible. Mm-hmm because they all that's like twice

We've heard that right yes, but if we say if you say

We're really in a jam. We've got a showing at 10 a.m. Tomorrow for the family only

Big philanthropic family

Can we get the can we get the body over?

From sauce. This is Amanda. Hi Amanda

My name is Laura and I'm calling from the funeral home down the road. How are you doing tonight?

Good you're calling from where at the funeral home and then we got a little problem

And I was wondering if you guys could help us out here. Do you guys do spray tans?

I'm I don't you don't okay, but that's even better you do regular tans

Yes, okay great great. We have a little situation here our makeup artist Yvonne died

Two days ago, and so since she was our makeup artist

We don't have anybody to make up for her

So we're wondering if we could bring her by and just throwing a tanning bet real quick get maybe 20 minutes

Get some get get some redness for her. So because we have a showing tomorrow morning private funeral

And we're wondering if we can bring her by you guys come highly recommended and we can bring her by and get

You know proud of the meet a little bit

That is hilarious, but no thanks

It's hilarious. No, I'm serious. We she died. We have no way of calling her up. Her family's gonna be out of their mind

She's worked for us for 25 years

No, you didn't know. Thank you. Are you sure because we'll pay extra?

Okay, okay, all right. Well, okay. All right. We got three. Mm-hmm, right? Yeah, we got three. All right. We'll work on it

We're not going wrong with that one was she's just not was she's just not

Dumb enough to do it. Yes. Yes

So we got people were dumb or so many years ago

Well first we were calling from a block number mm-hmm

Then I went through a different number that I have that I am fine with

Because even if they call back it would be funny to play those messages back

You know, yeah, so we'll work on that. Yeah, all right. So we got some bugs. Okay. We're gonna work out the bug stand

All right, I thought I just the bugs the pop the pop the pop we're gonna be good. What are you apologize?

I thought you know

That's all right for Dan Barillo bringing back the old bitch, baby red flag anybody who does old bits

Haha

I'm Bill Moran. We'll see you next time

Judgey make us feel