E691 - Laura L Engel - You’ll Forget This Ever Happened - Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s

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Episode 691 - Laura L Engel - You’ll Forget This Ever Happened - Secrets, Shame, and Adoption in the 1960s

This intimate conversation with memoirist Laura Engel explores late blooming creativity, the cost of secrecy, and the profound impact of reunion and loss across generations. Speaking from the foothills outside San Diego, Laura reflects on beginning her first book at sixty eight, transforming decades of journals and memories into a deeply personal memoir about closed adoption in the nineteen sixties. She describes teaching herself to write a book draft by draft, learning to trust editors, and slowly finding the courage to tell a story she had been told to bury.

Laura shares how writing moved her from isolation to community. After a career in real estate and title insurance, she discovered that writers form a different kind of tribe, one built on shared obsession, vulnerability, and encouragement. She urges aspiring authors of any age to never give up, to seek out classes and critique groups, and to write even if publication is not the goal. For Laura, the act of putting words on the page became both a craft and a lifeline.

At the heart of the episode is the story behind her memoir, You’ll Forget This Ever Happened. As a seventeen year old in nineteen sixty seven, Laura was sent to an unwed mothers home in New Orleans, pressured into a closed adoption, and shamed into silence for decades. She recalls the lasting trauma of leaving her newborn son behind, the small act of defiance in pocketing his birth card, and the way that secret shaped her sense of self, her health, and her relationships. For fifty years, she carried that grief alone, hiding it from her children and most of the people closest to her.

Everything changed when her firstborn son found her through DNA testing, just as she had retired and begun taking creative writing classes. The reunion, which she describes as both miraculous and exhausting, brought overwhelming joy, new grandchildren, and a longed for chance to be authentic about her past. It also revealed how complex reunion can be when histories, families, and expectations collide. Their four and a half years together were filled with visits, laughter, and deep conversation, even as he faced divorce, job loss, and growing depression.

Laura then recounts the shattering aftermath of her son’s death by suicide and the agonizing decision about whether to publish a book that originally ended on a hopeful first Christmas together. With the support of another author, she chose to add an epilogue and release the memoir, confronting not only the stigma of unwed motherhood but also the stigma of suicide.

The episode closes with a look at Laura’s next project: a fiction based on her father’s stories and her parents’ love story in Biloxi, Mississippi, starting in nineteen twenty eight. Writing this second book has brought a different kind of joy, allowing her to portray her parents in a fuller light and to honor the promise her father once made when he gave her a little desk and asked her to write him a book someday.


https://lauralengel.com/

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