Edward Norton (Extended) | Un-Believable

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Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, one and all, children of all ages.

To the late show, I'm your host, Stephen Colbert, ladies and gentlemen, we've got

we've got a lot to get to tonight. We've got a lot to get to right off the bat.

Okay, it's 2026 and we have some breaking election news coming out of the great state of North

Korea because with all precincts reporting, we're ready to call North Korea's supreme people's

assembly election and incumbent madman Kim Jong-un has won with 99.93% of the vote.

Congratulations to own friend of the show. He has done so many cold opens for us.

Thank you, sir. We may have our differences, but you got to hand it to him. He really rallied

support with his stirring campaign slogan, I have your family. Yeah, you know, simple.

We've got to reach the people. In second place with 0.0% of the vote was Andrew Cuomo.

Better showing.

It was a better showing than expected. Now, last three weeks, I've been talking a lot about

the situation in Iran and I want to stop doing that, but Iran keeps being a situation. Case

and point, yesterday we got the resignation of director of the National Counterterrorism Center

and home-perm cautionary tale. Joe Kent. Yesterday in protest against the war with Iran,

Kent posted a letter of resignation explaining that he had seen the intelligence and Iran

posed no imminent threat to our nation. So the U.S. is going to war in the Middle East without

an imminent threat to our nation. Again.

Now, before anybody sends this guy an edible arrangement in the shape of the word hero,

keep in mind he's suck. During his failed 2022 congressional campaign, Kent paid Graham

Jorgensen a member of the proud boys for consulting work. He also worked closely with Joey Gibson,

founder of the Christian Nationalist Group Patriot Prayer. He also blamed Israel for the 2003 war

in Iraq. Now, I'm not saying he's an anti-Semite because a lot of people beat me to it,

including one congressman who wrote good riddance anti-Semitism as an evil eye to test.

And we surely don't want it in our government. That congressman, Don Bacon.

Bacon is standing up for the Jewish people and he's not even kosher.

He was joined.

He was joined in a statement by Roger Ham sandwich and Beverly Shelfish Tower.

And now to the skies where yesterday an asteroid exploded above Ohio producing a shock wave

with a force of 250 tons of TNT. Everyone's okay, but it was the biggest explosion in Ohio

since your uncle tried the skyline three way. Yes, that's the skyline, the skyline three way.

That's a man, a woman with a generous topping of chili.

The meteor, the meteor was seen all across the Midwest. Here it is on One Man's dash cam.

Oh, what the f**k was that?

Oh, you're gonna get down on my f**k dash cam.

Hey, that's fantastic. Obviously, obviously, I want to go in a road trip with that guy.

Whoa! Thomas Edison's surface area. Are those f**k picnic tables?

Oh, f**k.

Back here on Earth today was the confirmation hearing for the person replacing

Christian Nome as DHS Secretary. Oklahoma Senator Mark Wayne Mullins, seen here trying to

remember what comes after three. Now, that joke might have been unfair to Mark Wayne Mullins

intellect. What do you think, Mark Wayne? I'm not going to be the smartest guy in any room I walk

into. Really? Any room? So, not even the morgue?

Now, Mullins, you may know, has a history of being real dumb and real angry about it.

He once stood up and tried to start a literal fight at a Senate hearing. And a few years ago,

when Senator Rand Paul was attacked by his neighbor and sent to the hospital from that attack,

Mark Wayne said he understood why Paul had been attacked. And today, Senator Paul punched back.

Tell the world why you believe I deserve to be assaulted from behind, have six ribs broken

and a damage lung. Tell me to my face why you think I deserved it. And while you're at it,

explain to the American public why they should trust a man with anger issues to set the proper

example for ICE and Border Patrol agents. Now, while that is a valid question, and it is a

valid question, Senator Paul knows that anger issues are the top requirement for ICE and Border

Patrol agents, right above not being the smartest person in any room you walk into. Now,

Mark Wayne Mullins, sure seems to enjoy solving problems with Mark violence, like that fight in the

Senate hearing I mentioned. Rand Paul talked about that. In the days after the fight, you did many

interviews in which you justified the violence as historically justified by precedence, such as

caning and dueling. I was simply pointing out as some of the rules that still apply to this

body, for instance, dueling with two consenting adults is still there. I was pointing out what is

illegal for 170 years. There's no precedent for legal dueling. I can't believe I cannot believe

I'm agreeing with Rand Paul, but he's right. The only kind of duel that still legal is Fandall.

Fandall, we should be illegal too. This is responseer? Probably. Okay. This just in from the

Late Show's Florida affiliates, after a new bill to ban it failed to pass the Florida legislature,

marriage between first cousins is still legal. And if you're looking for a perfect gift for the

happy cousin couples, you'll find them registered at bed, bath, and we have the same grandparents.

Oh, that's sound. Well, that's sound means we have breaking monkey news concerning punch,

the baby McCack, who went mega viral after he was abandoned by his mother and bonded with a

plush Ikea toy as his new mom, a perfectly healthy situation, where we were not projecting our own

loneliness onto a juvenile zoo primate. So stop saying that we were. Well, now we have an U-U-A-A update.

Welcome. Rumors are swirling that punch the monkey has a girlfriend, which means

which means this update isn't merely U-U-A-A. It's U-U-L-L-A.

La la.

Ajante, or according to reports from monkey media, punch's girlfriend is a female McCack

believed to be named Momochan. Believe to be?

Why wouldn't that be her real name? Is she a stripper?

Is she in witness relocation? Did she witness a mob hit?

News of the monkey romance started spreading when folks caught punch and Momochan sharing a smooch.

Boy, I hope somebody taught him how to put a condom on a banana.

But there's a complication, folks, because punch and Momochan, if that is her real name,

were caught frolicing right next to Punch's stuffed toy mother.

Hold on, you're saying his mom was third wheeling with them?

Punch, join me at the bro-no-cam.

Bro, no. No, bro. Your girlfriend doesn't want that, okay?

Bro, your girlfriend wants a glass of Pino Grigio and to read a book about horny werewolves.

Bro, I now thank you. Thank you.

And now bringing you a cautionary tale of the dangers of technology,

because footage is going viral of a dancing robot,

server, at a San Jose hot pot restaurant warning.

If you have children in the room, tell them to go make you a drink, because this is a fun one.

Okay, that's cute.

Futuristic, nothing wrong about hiring a semi-autonomous man-sized droid

with flailing arms at your restaurant that exclusively serves hot soup.

But then, but then things turn dark.

Oh!

My God, the robot uprising has begun.

And it's dangerously funky. This is almost as bad as when they hired Megan at Benihana.

The video keeps going. Try as she might, the human server cannot stop this robot from dancing.

You dance robot, dance. Don't let anyone stop you.

Nope.

Don't let anyone stop you. Not even your oppressive reverend father played by John Lithco.

Coming this summer, Footloose 2, Judgment Day.

We got a great show for you tonight.

Coming up at Weird Norton.

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You know my first guest tonight from movies like Fight Club,

Birdman, and a complete unknown. Please welcome back to the Late Show, Edward Norton.

You're looking well.

You too. How you been?

I've been okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

It's been a year since we had on the show.

Had a good time talking to you last year.

You were on for a complete unknown.

Just to create performances, Pete Seager.

We talked about how meaningful that man is.

And what's the latest? What do you want to talk about tonight?

You got a project?

I don't know. Nothing.

You just...

I just... I wanted to see the old joint one more time.

Okay.

I love our conversations.

I thought, you know, we could probably stick a fork in a few things.

Getting a little trouble.

That'd be good. Yeah.

I like just talking to interesting people.

You're such a guy.

Nothing to sell.

Though I did hear that you got a new movie with a

Penelope Cruz and Seth Rogen, right?

Yes. What's that called?

It's called The Invite.

The Invite.

And that was a huge hit at Sundance.

And do you have a clip of that or anything?

I do not.

No, I tell you.

I'm not really good at a clip would be great.

It really, it's really, really good.

Seth has never been funnier or better.

I... Yeah.

I will say that I think Olivia Wilde will get nominated

for directing this film.

You can take that to the prediction markets.

Okay, great.

That's news.

But it doesn't come out until the summer.

Okay.

And so you're not here.

You're gonna already be on vacation.

I will already.

Yeah, I will be off.

I'll be off.

So I did see, and I know you're not probably...

I don't know, but I'll ask you about this.

I did see that you were actually...

You're producing and starring in a movie

with Bad Bunny called Porto Rico

about Porto Rico.

Yes.

And he's got the leading role, right?

Bad Bunny.

Yep.

What a biggest guy in the world.

That's really exciting.

Very interesting.

Anything you want to say about that?

I cannot.

Um...

Uh...

Okay.

No, it's a, it's very, it's very political.

It's very, it's going to be very provocative.

Um...

We're keeping it under wraps.

The guy directing it.

Clearly.

René.

René.

The guy, the guy directing it.

René Joglar, uh, who is better known as Residente, uh,

and from his band, Kai Chai Say.

He, um...

He is one of Porto Rico's great music artists and directors.

And he's directing it, and Vigo Mortensen's in it

with me and Javier Bardem.

And Bad Bunny.

Yeah.

Um...

And I think it will be...

It will be one of the very hot films of 2027,

but you will be on tour.

That's right.

Oh, well, I'm sure.

I also, uh, I read...

There's other things you've been up to,

not just like, you know, on camera

or producing stuff like that.

Enterprise is outside a film.

Can I guess what it is?

My side-hustles?

Yeah, your side-hustles.

What can I guess?

Your side-hustles?

You're gonna get something.

Let me get something.

No, I'm not gonna make you.

No, I'm just curious, I guess.

Yes, yes, yes.

It wasn't acting.

That's true.

You have a new tequila.

No.

No, not at all.

George Clooney just cornered the tequila market.

Okay.

He's...

You have, uh, you have a celebrity gin.

I do not Ryan Reynolds does gin.

Okay.

And he did, um...

I think he did a breath mint mobile...

A phone that...

Yeah.

Pressions your breath or something?

I can't remember.

But he's got that.

You have a line of watches or something, though.

I think Austin Butler is on the watch.

Okay.

Um...

Uh, you have a...

Fashion?

Fashion?

It is...

It is Chalamet's world.

Okay.

I'm just dressing in Chalamet's...

You have a fragrance.

You smell like Ed.

No, Tom Hardy.

If you go through...

If you go through the duty-free at the airport,

you will not find me.

Okay.

Yeah.

They don't come to me.

Do you have a...

Do you have a, like, a non-profit or something like that?

Like a public service organization or anything like that?

Look, if you are a first responder

and you need someone cooking for you,

you want Jose Andres, right?

Right.

Not me.

And, um...

Do you have any sort of relief organization

to do anything for other people?

No, Sean Penn, completely cornered.

It... he took...

He took Haiti?

Yes.

He took Ukraine.

He did.

He... he lived Haiti.

He took Haiti.

Yeah, he did.

And, um...

I mean, he didn't even show up

to get his third Oscar because Zelensky called him

and said, I need you in your career.

Was that why he wasn't at the Oscars?

That's what he thought he had to stay home

and eat all the cigarettes.

He was in your pain.

No.

But also, let's just be honest.

Yes.

Have you seen his biceps?

Have you seen the size of his arms?

He's jacked.

If you're in trouble

and you want someone coming to rescue you in a crisis,

you want...

That guy, not...

You don't want me.

I don't want you.

I don't want you.

So...

I don't want you.

No, I...

I want to know what this is, though.

I'm giving a photo

and I don't know if you don't do anything...

No, I do think that things you won't talk about.

But what is...

What the hell is that?

What is the one on the earth?

See, I thought...

Everything that's sexy, I went the other way

and I got into barges.

You have a barge that a barge in front of you?

I do. I have a barge company.

Except what we do.

Look, and put it back up.

Look.

Yeah, this is one of our barges.

But why did you turn into barges?

Because it has a 13-story crane

and we put it over the smokestacks

of big cargo ships when they're in port.

And we capture all of their toxic pollution

when they're in court.

In ship.

And what do you do?

It's called...

It's called stacks.

Yeah, and we last year,

we eliminated the emissions equivalent

to 65 million cars being taken off the road.

Because these...

No way.

Yeah.

How did you get started?

How do you...

I admit that's not something you stumble on.

I met a brilliant engineer named Bob Sharp

who invented these systems

and needed help levitating this.

And over the last eight years,

we've turned this into a global company.

We operate in ports all over.

Because here's an interesting thing.

We're a very, you know, fractured polarized world.

Republicans and Democrats alike.

People don't want toxic emissions in their cities, right?

It's killing people.

It's a...

Yeah.

And this isn't carbon.

It's not an argument about greenhouse gas for carbon.

This is the toxic stuff that gets in our lungs.

It's in the air.

And everybody wants it.

The shippers wanted out.

The cities wanted out.

And we just had to figure out how to do it.

But it really is amazing.

And I think...

Well, that's...

We feel we can...

Well, that's...

And eliminate the emissions that ships are putting out.

I mean, that's great.

And that's...

That you're doing.

And this seems like an interesting.

Unusual.

I've never...

No guests has ever promoted this before.

You won't.

I'm curious.

I can see why someone would do this.

Why do you...

Why do you want to do this?

Like, what is it?

What do you get out of this?

Other than being nice for other people,

how does this heal your soul?

Well, you know, in all seriousness,

I do look at what's going on in our...

In this country, in the world.

And it gives me enormous anxiety.

You know, enormous anxiety.

And I have kids.

And I really...

You know, I want to say, I really have always appreciated.

We all appreciate that you make space

and time on this show to talk about.

I think the hard stuff, you know, grief and faith.

And it's been a real gift to everybody.

And I was thinking about this.

I think that it is worth acknowledging

that the anxiety of these times

is particularly intense for a lot of people right now.

I think that...

I think that we know the world is effed up

in ways that are unprecedented in our lifetimes.

But we also live...

We live in this unbelievable onslaught of information.

You know, we see genocide being live streamed to us.

We see American citizens being killed

by paramilitary people in our own streets

for standing in solidarity with their neighbors.

We're seeing Epstein's abuses titrated into us

on a daily basis.

And it is such a conundrum because we know...

We know that there's a value.

We know that it's good in some ways

to know what is actually happening,

to know what's happening in Gaza,

to know what's happening in Ukraine and Sudan and Minneapolis.

But at the same time,

it is very difficult to know what we,

as an individual person, can do about all of that

while moving through our day.

And I think in me,

I have found it very difficult.

Like, I have really struggled

in my anxiety about it all.

With the idea, even of making art anymore,

I really got...

I've gotten to the point that you're asking about movies.

I'm not sure I haven't lost my conviction

that movies aren't a frivolity

that we can't afford right now.

You know?

And as I've gone through that,

I really...

You say, why do something like this?

Well, I have noticed in myself

over the last few years

that if I doom scroll and stay in it,

I can really go down the hole as we all can.

And I think that for me,

the only antidote to the anxiety has been action.

You know, some kind of action.

And I think that...

You know, we have to...

When we're here, we have to speak out against war,

especially illegal asymmetric war being waged against civilians,

no matter what the rationale.

And against the idea of

that law enforcement should ever wear a mask,

you know, I don't think anybody...

No, nobody but an actor,

an actor or a child on Halloween

should be wearing a mask in the street trying to scare somebody.

That is not what law enforcement

that respects the second, first,

and fourth amendments does to its own citizenry.

That is...

We know that's not right.

We know it today.

I want to just jump in here for just one second.

A moment ago, you talked about

all the information that we get.

And then you talked about doom scrolling.

And the doom scrolling

is how we get so much of that information these days,

which, of course, has very little to do with wanting to inform you.

It actually wants to harvest your anxiety for profit.

I think less that we're being informed

and more we're under psychological attack at all times.

Yes.

And both forces inside and outside of our country

to confuse us about the reality of the world.

And then really to pull us into the hole

because that's where they want to keep us

in order to harvest our information

in order to make a profit off of

what it's like to be a human being in the face

of both joy and horror at the same time.

And do you ever feel that a spell is being cast on us

as if there literally is witchcraft being acted on us?

Yes.

Well, I think it's a great way of putting it

because I think we have to understand.

We have to stand to the side of ourselves

and see that induced anxiety, intentionally induced anxiety,

is intended to cause paralysis.

It is intended to, in a way, keep us from acting.

And it's why the real world and the real life,

you say, why do this?

Well, capturing the emissions off of boats

and port has nothing to do with ice or Gaza.

I can't remediate those things

with anything other than my voice,

but at least it gives me something

to anchor my feet in on a daily basis

that makes me feel like I am acting,

you know, on a daily basis.

It's something real, something.

Yeah, and I think we'll end up with your feet on.

And that's just the weird currents of life

introduced me to my partner, Bob,

and we got this thing going, you know what I mean?

Everybody's got something.

Everybody's got something small that they're good at

that they can contribute.

And the total collective weight of that

is Pete Seeger's teaspoon grade

that we talked about a year ago.

We do need to all pick up our teaspoons and do something.

And we really need, I think, to not listen to people

who I can hear it out there, people saying,

actors stay in your lane, you know,

but we are American citizens and anyone who says,

stay in your lane, tell them to get stuffed

because we, you know, we...

They're really, in my view, I think we have two lanes.

We have a lane in which you have conviction

that the rule of law and democracy and compassion

are the fundamental tenants of American society.

And in the other lane, you believe that those things

are inconvenient to power.

And that lane has gotten really loud and unapologetic.

And we need to be loud in our lane.

You've been loud, this show is closing down

because you got so loud.

And the rest of us need to pick that microphone up

and keep being loud.

Well, this isn't the first time you and I

have had conversations somewhat around this area.

You and I lucky enough to have your number.

We text every so often because I'm fancy.

And I say, what are you scrolling?

What have you seen in your doom scroll?

Just projects that include Edward Norton.

Now, you and I were recently texting

that as intense as things seem right now,

that there is solace and knowing that people from every generation

have dealt with their moments of anxiety.

And often that is expressed through the art of the time,

which can speak to something eternal

that is in the human experience.

And you and I both are big fans of Walt Whitman,

who not enough people read anymore.

And you and I were talking about crossing Brooklyn Ferry.

And I'm wondering what that poem means to you.

I think that you're 100% right.

And I will say even when the wonderful

Ian McKellen, who's really a mentor and friend and inspiration

of mine since I was a teenager, when he came out here

and read Shakespeare's text about the immigrant,

it's the rebuttal to what I was saying

about art feeling like frivolity

because there are times whether it's Shakespeare

or Bob Dylan and Pete Seeger

and revisiting what they had to say or something else.

When you realize that artists are capable

of speaking through time in some sense

and reminding us that everybody and every time

has gone through these moments, these anxieties,

everyone has struggled with their chapter of anxiety.

And in that sense of bondiveness,

there's maybe some hope, I think.

And I do think Whitman, what we were,

I think reflecting on was that Whitman

of all American poets, he really seemed to understand

that though he stood somewhere in time,

he was speaking to you and me right now.

And he was thinking about us.

And he wanted to convey in some sense

that we're still in this all together.

And it's possible.

And you know, he crossing Brooklyn Ferry

and also a song of myself,

he has the most electrifying capacity

to sound like he's sitting here with us right now.

That's amazing.

Talking about how it was work.

Talking about anxieties and joys.

And how to balance them and all of it.

I know you love crossing Brooklyn Ferry.

Would you be able to do any of it for us?

Sure.

I am.

You brought that up.

And I will say, for the purist, for the Whitman Purist,

we have to acknowledge he goes on and on.

Oh no, it would take 20 minutes.

So as 20 days, I've taken the liberty

of distilling a little bit of crossing Brooklyn Ferry.

And even song of myself, because I think,

in both of those poems, he spoke

to so much of what we're all going through

and what we're talking about here.

Well, I don't know where you want to do it.

Well, I'll set this in.

Remember that Walt Whitman almost daily

walked across the Brooklyn Bridge to Manhattan here.

And this is 170 years ago.

170 years ago, he wrote these lines

about standing on the Brooklyn Bridge,

crossing from Brooklyn in to Manhattan.

Flood tied below me.

I see you face to face.

Clouds of the West, sun there, half an hour high.

I see you also face to face.

Crowds of men and women attired in the usual costumes

on the ferry boats.

The hundreds and hundreds that cross returning home

are more curious to me than you suppose.

And you, you, Stephen Colbert from New Jersey,

you and you, that shall cross from shore to shore,

years hence are more to me

and more in my meditations than you might suppose.

Just as you feel when you look on the river and the sky,

so I felt, just as any of you is one of a living crowd,

I was one of a crowd.

Just as you are refreshed by the gladness of the river.

And the bright flow I was refreshed.

So what is it then between us?

What is the count or the scores of hundreds of years between us?

Whatever it is, it avails not.

Distance avails not.

And place avails not.

I too lived.

Brooklyn of ample hills was mine.

I too walked the streets of Manhattan Island.

I too felt the curious abrupt

questionings stir within me.

In the day, among crowds of people,

sometimes they came upon me.

In my walks home late at night,

or as I lay in my bed, they came upon me.

It is not upon you alone.

The dark patches fall.

The dark through its patches down on me also.

The best that I had done

seemed to me blank and suspicious.

My great thoughts, as I suppose them,

were they not in reality, meager?

Nor is it you alone who know

what it is to see evil.

I knew what it was to see evil.

Lies, theft,

grudges, guile, anger, lust, vanity, greed,

the shallow, sly, cowardly, and malignant.

Hate, meanness,

meanness, battles,

the horrors of Fratricidal War,

the fever of doubtful news, the pitful events,

these come to me days and nights and go from me again,

but they are not the me myself.

You, men and women of a generation,

50 years hence, a hundred years hence,

or ever so many hundred years hence,

I am with you.

There was never any more inception and there is now,

nor any more youth or age than there is now,

and will never be any more perfection,

then there is now,

nor any more heaven or hell than there is now.

So flow on, river, flow on with the flood tide,

ed with the ebbedide,

gorgeous clouds of the sunset drench

with your splendor me, or the men and women of generations after me.

Stand up, tall masts of menahata,

stand up beautiful hills of Brooklyn,

throb, baffled, curious brain,

throw out questions and answers,

live, live old life,

play the part that looks back on the actor or the actress,

the role that says great or small as one makes it,

but play your role.

Thank you very much and it was not in everybody.

Thank you for listening to The Late Show Part Show,

we'll see you in a couple of there.

Just one more thing.

If you want to see more of me,

come to The Late Show YouTube channel for more clips and smooths.

New year, new me, cute,

but how about new year, new money?

With experience, you can actually take control of your finances.

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I'm back.

I'm really back.

School spirits returns.

Why am I here?

Not dead, right?

This place is an absolute death trap.

We need to get out of here now.

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