Ep 36 The Mindf*ck of Being Half In and Half Out of AA

What if you're going to meetings, working with a sponsor, maybe even doing the steps… but deep down, you don’t believe it anymore?

Today’s episode is for you.

This is a living f*cking amends to anyone I ever indoctrinated into AA. I used to believe it all. I taught it all. And now I know better. If you're stuck in that weird in-between—half in, half out—you're not alone. And you're not crazy.

We’re talking about:

What it feels like to question AA while still in it
The emotional + mental toll of staying silent around your doubts
Why “alcoholism” isn’t a real diagnosis—and what is
Whether harm reduction inside AA is even possible
Tips from folks who deprogrammed while still attending meetings
Why your gut knows when it’s time to leave
A call to trust yourself, your brain, and your future

👉🏽 This episode is a permission slip. Not to do what I say—but to listen to yourself.

And if you’ve been silently struggling, I’d love to hear from you. Leave a comment on the YouTube version of this episode here or DM me—let’s start a better conversation about recovery, truth, and autonomy.

Because it’s not your job to conform.

It’s your right to get free.

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