Ep 596 - 4-Man Jamboree Slam (feat. Ian Fidance, Ehsan Ahmad, Tim Butterly)

Wow, wow, we're I should be able I should be allowed to smoke in here if I'm in this hot seat. No, I don't think you're I I would love for you to smoke

but I really don't think you're we're allowed to with the building and all because we're on their air system. No, he's seven, allegedly.

Excuse you. You're using coffee. I saw you.

Coffee and cigarettes. That's a drug.

That's true. That's true. That's true. That's true. You're probably stuff since you just give me a word Josh my my engine's fucking hot right?

Yeah.

Eating finance. I don't even feel like we're against you. We're not at all. Hey guys welcome to the podcast. We have motherfucking eating finance.

Son of a Tim Butler. They joined us for an absolute jamboree if I gotta be honest. That's the way the city worked out, dude.

Your comics had to sit down for once, man. Sounded you know that's not the way the seating worked out then.

Is it a labyrinth plan here? That's a good point. Do you need anything? Can I get it for you?

Is that a trick too? We're not tricky. It's all above board. My hackles are up. It's so paranoid. The coffee's got you.

Coffee's got you like Jesse from Breaking Bad right now. You're right.

Yeah, what's intimidating about this?

Yeah, I'm in between two normals and a grumbling.

What's going on? That's that fucking chip on your shoulder ever talking about down here.

What a great privilege. I swear I did. We're just gonna do a podcast and I didn't know you're in town.

He told me and I said, yeah, come join. I don't know. I don't know. I'm more than most comfortable.

My little brother did the same thing. He sat in the seat yet. He broke his foot. He sat in the seat.

Oh, he's chill. Everyone had a good time. My ankle has been hurting.

There you go. This is Aaron Dippin. I'm sorry to hear that, but I mean, what a great comfortable way.

Yeah, I just don't like being the center focus. You're not. That's crazy. You didn't say that.

I think my fucking podium is, dude. I'm obviously. Yeah, but I feel like I'm on, I feel like I'm on trial.

And then there's a jury of blacks. Just watching me.

What is this? That does sound like your nightmare.

You're probably gonna turn the blacks. Please, we're a little more level.

I guess it's really a jury of my peers.

I'm actually going to turn my blacks around because.

Sorry, mind you. Well, I'm black and blue. You're my black and blue.

I'm gonna turn my black and police around. I liked it better when he was just black.

He financed. That's how you've been. Son of a bun. What do you guys up to, man?

Been good. You guys are right. These turbulent online climates. You guys. You guys are right.

I'm off everything. Really? I know. I know the only thing I do is Instagram. That's it.

Okay. I don't go on Twitter. I don't go on anything else.

I'm not going to the protest live. It's good. What? Not going to the protest live.

No. What? Someone asked they were like, can you share this thing about taking off work on Friday?

And I was like, well, I would, but I'm playing Capsidian.

Also, what are they going to go to their boss and be like, even finance told me I could take off work?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm okay.

You know what I think they should do though? Here's the thing. Like, you know, you don't know what the guy did.

He could just be working at Walmart, which that's crazy. If we're chasing guys who work at another thing happen,

what are you talking about? There's been two. There's a lady in Minnesota and there was a guy.

Oh, I see you in the show as well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But it's like, what did the guy do? They were chasing because that's the big question.

He could just be working at Walmart, which that's crazy. Wait. The guy they were chasing.

Who were they chasing? It immigrant. And it'll be immigrant. And that's why the guy got involved.

I think so. I think the ice was out. But they weren't trying to get one. They were trying to get a bunch.

Okay. Well, look. Oh, so you're saying you don't know which one he was just at the thing.

I really don't know which immigrant I died for would be important. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah. It's kind of like, you know how you can adopt someone for pennies a day. Yeah.

What you should be able to like, like, know which immigrant you're standing up for. Yeah.

Which, which Somali I'm keeping alive. So I mean, yeah. Well, no, that's just crazy.

Because like, oh, so I didn't know how many kids are going to want. Where are they getting a bunch

of immigrants at once? They're going into towns and knocking on doors and ripping people out of

homes. I thought they're chasing them because they caught them doing an illegal activity.

No, they're not playing Benny Hill music. There's no fish ants involved at all.

No, they should be. They're catching it. They're playing, you know, they're doing. That's a big game.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think immigrants are just chilling in the streets just sort of milling

around working or committing heinous crimes? It's one of the other.

No, the amount of immigrants they've gotten that are committing heinous crimes. It's like

very, very low. It's like what they're doing. Like what they're doing is they're capturing

people, detaining them for a while and then going, all right, you're a good one and then letting

them go. Okay. They're like ripping them from homes and last call. It's a great first draft

idea for how to do it, I guess. I'm excited for V2. I do. I think we're really going to

know where we have been. I think what they should do because that's my question. Like what

did they do? It feels like a debate. My question is, this isn't even political. It's more

logistical. Like at least have what they did. When you're like, oh, it's coming. They should

have like a like, you know, like they do like VIP lounges and clubs like Sparkler and to be like,

this is the chart. That's the chart. Well, what they did was, was just being illegal.

Like that, what they did was just being illegal. It's not like they're like, you stole, so we're

capturing you. It's like you are illegal. You've been here for 30 years. We heard about you.

And you didn't, yeah, we got you. That's like the jigs up thing. I didn't know that. I didn't

know they're going multiple. I thought they're just like chasing a guy. No, no, it's like a, it's like

a, no, it's like a raid, a huge raid with like an invasion of masts. Haven't got me yet.

Wow, that's because we're here. That's because you have an army of blacks. They're

the impedigible force of blacks. I was like, after having me on, they might check you out a little

more. These ladies know that they were like going and like capturing immigrants in mass.

Because they're coming in like big groups. Yeah, they're like, they're like, the ladies,

they're going to talk to you. Then you go and you'll, hey, yeah, like people are talking and

they're like, you know, trying to try to keep informed. But the footage is so bad. It's so

grainy. Well, now the thing is this. Yeah, I'm trying to inform an opinion. Right. And it's

just like, everyone's like, Oh, from this angle, I'm like, dude, I don't know who's even,

I can't tell anything. So I'm just trying to get informed on it. Yeah, I'm going next to jerk

off. And you're trying to meet these fucking videos of people dying. Terrible. Come on, man,

we're talking about talking about. He's the perfect chaser, by the way. What? After you

coming after watching. Yeah. He's like either decapitation or a guy being executed in the streets.

Dude, they should perfectly destroy the cloud, the post nut like euphoria and gets you right back

to being able to work. True. They should, they should do a thing where on like porno, the next video

is like an informative news story. So that you get your nut off, but you're also informed.

But yeah, but then you're going to be way too impressionable. And they're going to be able to

just put whatever they want in there. I would say make me digest the news first before I get

my. Oh, because you're saying you come. You'll be more susceptible to be like, oh, immigrants are

people. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're watching. Yeah. Well, here's my thing though. If I was going to,

you know, if I look, it's like that's the case. You're like, they're my neighbors. I'm like,

no, these are hardworking guys. Don't come and take them all out. That's. If I was a 40 year old

white lady, do you think me showing up as that is going to really help? Or should I be in my

friends get together and to work up some sort of like deception, you know, obviously,

like a home alone obstacle course. No, I'm saying like we all wear the gear. It's fucking

Barrow, poncho, mountain bike. Yeah. They fucking they ice sergeant goes.

I like that Scooby-Doo. I've got these immigrants. If it wasn't for these damn kids,

it's in 40 year old. I haven't picked aside yet officially. I'm just thinking like, you know,

how do you maximize? And right now, I'm like, that would actually work rather than.

Because if you're just a fucking old white lady, you haven't picked, picked aside yet.

I haven't, I can't tell from the footage. I'm looking at the footage. I need all the angles.

You need the footage. And I just, I want to look at the information. I need to see all the angles.

I've seen 270 degrees so far.

I'm gonna reach 360. I'm out.

No, it's generally bad to shoot American citizens, I would say.

Yeah. I don't want to start it up.

I'm glad we finally got it.

I'm less. Yes.

You know, they committed, I need to see the crew.

If they truly are, it depends on your new sources.

I especially, I explicitly read the drugstore.

Yeah, but isn't that like, they're all trying to talk to my kids.

I read Judger for two.

I don't read any news.

We got it. I said two.

I read another one.

He's fighting.

I don't know what's going on.

He's trying to have an open mind of cars.

Yeah, it's not going to work for the numbers.

You pick a side, I pick a side.

Then we argue, all right?

And my side is drugs, no matter what.

I love that little guy.

Numbers are down.

How do you get otherwise?

Can we get into politics?

Yes.

That was my fault.

Can we see how much life we got to spotlight on him?

I think it'd be great to take a pill more comfortable.

I'm serious right now.

I'm just waiting for you to pull out.

And my next boy.

Now I was intrigued to have you, man.

You look great.

Oh, thanks.

Well, thank you.

Mutterly, how you doing, man?

I'll take this.

I'm chilling.

I can tell, man.

Is it working or is it too much?

No, you're chilling.

No, you're great.

No, it's fine.

It needs to be wish I brought my sunglasses.

Why, so you can be the second sunglasses guy?

No, it's crazy.

So we could be in solidarity.

So we could be blues brothers together?

Because you said you weren't sure if it's working.

And I'm saying it's working so well.

You make me want to do it.

Yeah, but then you completely redirect

all the focus back to yourself,

which makes me think that you're not uncomfortable

in the hot seat and that you're actually

kind of getting a sexual thrill from.

You put a lot of weird sex stuff on me.

And I think it's subconscious in your brain.

Well, I mean, he's been put a lot of weird sex stuff

in the air that's all episode of stuff.

Whoa.

Yeah, never been a weird sex stuff guy.

I've been, I think I have trashed the vibe.

I'll take full responsibility.

Can I be honest?

Sure.

I love the vibe.

All right, man, you heard it.

Don't change the single thing.

Appreciate I was just fishing for a compliment.

Yeah, you're doing great.

Yeah, man, so I don't know what else is going on.

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I don't know.

You know what I, no one's talking about actually

and everybody got off coffee.

I can't, I'm more of a,

I'm the biggest advocate of no caffeine.

I know it's not a popular opinion.

Now, how long have you been off coffee?

About a month?

Maybe.

How do you, how did you feel initially?

Huffle, awful.

So bad.

I've looked, I've looked into the,

but here's the thing though, coffee,

apparently and again, everyone's different.

I'm super sensitive to caffeine.

Caffeine, it's all anecdotal,

destroys or severely inhibits,

what's it called?

Divergent thinking.

So like creative thinking.

Convergent thinking, it's great.

If you want to focus on a task and get it done,

it'll get you from A to B.

But if you want to subconsciously

kind of like pull from like a bunch of weird stuff

in your brain and just create a brand new idea,

I sort of got you to think,

and I felt this personally.

I was like, dude, I'm not coming up with any ideas.

Got off the juice.

I feel so much better.

Looked it up, a ton of people said that.

Crushes your creativity.

Slaves juice.

Who said this?

It's online.

Like online forums.

It's anecdotal and then they did it coffee, coffee,

whatever.

Some company did a study.

I need to see all the angles.

No, you said that.

You wasn't mad at me.

Yeah, I was just, what is it?

What does the drug reports have about caffeine?

I think that's the most important thing that I know.

Gotta be patriotic coffee.

Yeah, yeah.

But no, dude, I sort of got, though.

Like I was like, I just felt like dead.

And then I like went off it.

I have way more energy.

It's I swear to god, I think coffee is a total sign up.

Were you like super irritable when you got off?

Yeah, I was fucking so mad for how it was super mean.

For like a couple days, it was good.

But I was like fucked up the first day.

But then I looked up the study and they were like,

because apparently there's enough anecdotal evidence

where they did a study to prove

that it doesn't mess with like, you know,

whatever, however your brain does creative stuff.

And they were like, nope, we gave people

a single dose of caffeine, they're fine.

It's like, dude, that's the biggest bullshit.

Like coffee, like I don't dream when I want, when I have caffeine.

I do.

Do you have any dreams?

Well, you might be not as sensitive, that's a thing.

I think I see sensitized myself

with how much coffee I drink.

Right, you know, maybe I don't know.

I mean, I could drink this and be able to go to bed.

Really, that's crazy.

Have you always been like that?

I've always been like a night out

and I've always stayed up super late.

And then I'll, I sleep in shifts

and then I'll take like a nap during the day

and the coffee just helps me to like jog everything loose.

I was on so many more cups,

but now maybe on like two cups a day,

but at one point I was on like five or six

and I've like cut back to where I have one in the morning

than one like in the evening.

I'm fine.

That's crazy.

But I carry, I carry a coffee with me all day.

I've noticed that.

And I do like sips.

It's a word.

So I don't drink an entire thing.

The entire thing lasts me like throughout the day.

You know what I mean?

So it's like a security blanket almost.

Kind of.

It's a thing.

Kind of.

I think I should do the same thing.

I would keep one ready at all times

and just because it's, again, everyone's dead.

The whole thing I would say is that like,

it depends how sensitive you are to cafes.

If I have caffeine in like noon, I'm up till midnight.

Well, I'm not slugging one.

I'm like sipping throughout the day.

You know what I mean?

Got you.

So I don't know what the effects of that are.

I don't really find any like a crazy, like,

do you think your divergent thinking is totally fine?

I think I am divergent thinking because I was going to say

ironically, like every day I wake up,

go to a coffee shop and write and I get a lot done.

Telling you imagine if you were disconnected of

from the slave juice.

Imagine that.

Maybe the slave juice is what I need.

I'm excited for Matt to find the perfect thing

to deprive yourself of.

And then as soon as the results are in,

I'm going to eliminate that from my life.

What do you mean?

I don't know.

I thought about doing the semen retention thing for a while.

That's a dead end.

I like it.

Thanks for running out.

Thank God.

It's all I need to do here.

All right.

Back on porn, baby.

You can't not come.

Turns out.

Well, it does, like, it's, you have to,

that's how you shoot up a place.

Does your diverting, like, for your body?

Because if you get too backed up,

it can, you can get epidid amitis.

So I've had chronic epidid amitis.

John, were you not coming when you had epidid amitis?

And when you, when you come, it, like,

cleans out your pipes.

Hold on.

How'd you get epidid amitis?

He was coming all the time.

Really?

Were you edged?

No, I got, I've had a lot of ball problems

my entire life.

What?

Yeah, yeah.

I had a testicular torsion.

Was it twisted?

Yeah, the tissue went around it and I almost lost it.

Sorry to have surgery.

And ever since then, I've had, like, chronic, you know,

the old thing is, like, I have to get shots in my spine

every once in a while because of my epidid amitis.

You think it's back shots for your balls?

That's so fucked up.

I'm here, doctor.

I'm not a licensed professional care.

You know, it says you're in here for a headlamp.

Hold on.

That's fine.

It's your balls.

Oh, dude.

Everything is related to your spine.

That's true.

So everything, like, if you get a lower back injury,

you're not can hurt because of the certain, like,

wires that go from your spine and the different parts of your body.

What's the shot they're giving you?

A, like, a stair road shot and like a certain part of my spine.

And like the ball wire in your spine goes to you.

Whoa.

You have a bad, so sick.

I had a epidid amitis so bad that it was so inflamed

that like, sometimes I couldn't walk and they were like,

look, like, if this doesn't work,

we're gonna have to remove your epidid amitis.

And I was like, well, that would suck.

Yeah.

That's like basically irreversible, the sack to me.

That's like the carburetor for the fucking ball.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

That is very important.

That is a funny medical condition.

I have to be like, yeah, my balls are so big.

I can't walk.

My feet by balls are huge.

I like my wheelbarrow at home, brother.

I didn't read the article.

My friend sent me an article about guys.

I believe in Michigan who are injecting their balls

with something to make them gigantic.

And there's these gay guys inject their balls, maybe.

And they would just do dead lifts in like tight pants

and just like a football.

Like it was insane.

I think they died from that.

Yeah.

Cause you can, you can dick max with, I think Botox.

If you shoot Botox in your dick, you can dick max.

I'm all, I'm looks max all the way right now.

What's looks max?

Dude, it's, you got to watch clavicle care.

Whatever.

What's clavicle?

I don't know what to say his name.

Clavicle?

Are you not familiar with the fucking Miami Avengers?

Oh.

I'll introduce you.

I'm so out of loop on so many online things.

I don't know about him is that he,

this is the first time I heard about him is he went to the club

and they were playing a Hyl Hitler.

Yes.

And that's, that's what I know.

I thought you were talking about me

because you were pointing down.

I don't know.

I don't know.

Good song when I'm alone.

I don't know.

Dude, the Miami Avengers runner fire right now.

It's been a tough time.

Who are these guys?

You don't, you know, Andrew Tate.

Yeah.

Andrew Tate, Tristan, his brother.

Mm-hmm.

Dude, you don't know Andrew's brother.

Come on, baby.

Tristan, him and Jay Waller are fucking boys.

Who's Jay Waller?

Who are these people?

Who's Jay Waller?

It is like weird internet.

It's like we get it at Mio Manosphere.

Yeah, they're like Manosphere guys,

but it's Tristan, Tristan, Andrew,

Calvicular, who's a Looks Maxer guy

who like hits his jawline with a hammer

to make it more pronounced.

Yeah.

That's what's going on.

And he's doing like weighted newing.

Oh, God.

Yeah.

And fucking Funtays, Nick Funtays,

all went out together.

He's a cool night out.

A couple of the influencers went out.

A couple of bros.

It's just sick fucking bros.

Yeah.

I mean, I love it.

Perfect.

I mean, they blasted Hyal Hitler by Kanye West.

And they got the whole, everyone got in trouble.

And then they started to throw each other under the bus.

Yeah, it's a bad look.

You know, to be in a nightclub of Miami

and seeing Hyal Hitler.

Yeah, I have hair.

So.

All right.

All right.

We're in again.

So they got in trouble.

Then they started throwing each other over the bus.

I was like, who really put it on?

Who didn't like it?

I mean, guys, it smashed their jaws

and talk the way they do wouldn't be loyal to each other.

That's crazy.

I don't believe it.

I think the one guy with the clavicular

was left sterile from the chemical usage.

Like, whatever fucking peptides are sterile.

T-R-T will do it.

If you're on T-R-T too long, you can,

you're balls, you're a sperm.

Yeah, but don't, if you start taking T-R-T,

don't you have to be on it for the rest of your life?

Or else you're like, you can do all your hair products

and stuff.

I'm actually getting off testosterone.

You're on it?

Stepping down.

Even naturally, I'm not just fucking wild.

Yeah, I've been holding it for a few years.

It gets in your way and the lower it.

Yeah, it starts sending signals to your brain

that you need to fucking nut.

And it's just like, man, I'm not gonna have that shit.

Really?

Well, you're a medical order.

So how much do you have to nut to keep your epididimus?

It's the shots have helped so much.

So it's like not an issue.

I have to be careful about if I tie it off.

Like, if I'm having sex and I'm like,

oh god, I'm gonna come, don't.

Like that can inflame it.

No.

Yeah, you're never allowed to think about baseball.

Yeah.

Right.

Don't tell me not to think about baseball.

I love the 93 fillings.

Oh, you gotta let it fly.

You gotta let it fly.

Doctors orders.

You gotta fly.

Yeah.

But I haven't been to a new year, new me, no porn.

Let's go.

I've only jerked off maybe like three times only to memories.

And I am not doing that.

So I guess maybe I'm unintentionally seeming retention.

You're like, I saw.

Do you ever unintentionally, what's that call when you don't eat

till certain hour fast?

No intermittent fasting.

Do you ever unintentionally do that?

Right?

Yeah.

I've done it.

Yeah.

I actually wake up and eat every morning early.

I know it's all right.

I can.

I feel like I'll get sick if I let you go right away.

Yeah.

Nah, I eat for, I eat for like six thirty more.

What?

Yeah, I crush like a lot of food right now.

You have kids.

That's something like that stuff.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I crush eggs for a second in the morning.

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Did the eggs?

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What's your hot?

Should we take a churn off?

Oh, sorry.

Retention over.

Someone's looking for a new memory to drop.

What prompted the fucking S-R, what are your guys New Year's resolutions?

Oh, mine is very simple, mine's just to take more pictures.

Take pics.

Yeah, I never, I never.

People are selfies.

Just stuff my life.

I never take any pictures and I've done a lot of cool shit.

Yeah.

I wish I brought mine.

You had the cool glass.

I have my meta A.

I wish I got one just to take a picture of this moment from this angle, but I think those

are even.

Just take your phone out and do it.

Yes, you know what?

I like the meta though.

Meta's sick.

I think it's evil.

Why?

I think it's terrible.

But it's going to make content for Rainbow.

I haven't helped you to make fucking content for Rainbow.

I'm trying to get that calcium sponsorship.

Fuck you talking about you.

You got to cripple an entire industry.

I think it's terrible.

How do you feel myself pretending to swing on an old man?

Yeah.

The AI is bad though.

I like asking questions.

It's not good.

It's.

I've never used AI or chat GPT.

I really do rules.

I used it for my whole last special.

But shut up.

Did you also use it to inform your opinions on ice at the start of the day?

I literally used you last rock.

I'm like, what's up with the news?

What's the most advantageous financial position?

I can take financially.

What will make you the most money?

That's crazy.

And that helps.

Rock was like, use the angle.

For sure.

I want the straight source.

What are the billionaires think of the news without the advertisers getting in the way?

There you go.

Give me the straight prop.

Yeah.

So you've never used fucking GPT.

It's crazy.

And when I'm talking to friends, they're like, I don't know, it's chat GPT.

I'm like, no, I'm asking you.

That's what this is.

We're supposed to talk.

I don't talk to anybody who knows anything though.

I know.

None of us do.

I get what he's saying.

It's nice to be in a conversation and you're arguing.

You're both wrong.

You don't know it.

No.

I was arguing with a friend and he just sent me a bunch of chat GPT.

And I'm like, no, use your own thoughts.

These are my thoughts.

But chat GPT makes it more organized.

And the argument.

And you're an idiot.

Yeah.

I mean, I don't see the big deal about it.

It's like Google.

It's like being like, I'm not going to use Google.

It's just super Google.

Yeah.

You use Google and you can discern and read different things.

And form your own opinion.

Dude, how many Google messages do you actually click?

You click two, maybe.

No.

I screenshot the first result.

I put it in my database.

It's organized.

I analyze it.

No, I just, I don't know.

I don't like it.

I hear you.

It would be sad to think that.

I listen to music on YouTube for like background music.

And I do get bummed out.

It's just fucking AI music.

Yeah.

I try to find videos of a dude playing the song.

Yeah.

Is it kind of pisses me off?

But even that could be, yeah, at this point.

Fuck.

Yeah.

How do you know anything?

Like we're like this close to like not being able to play.

Dude.

Yeah, dude.

You should see Spotify.

Platform that doesn't give money to artists.

True.

Why would you do that, dude?

We're just a Spotify.

Oh, shit.

But it's convenient.

And eventually they will make money.

Spotify gets money to artists.

They give it to like five of them.

They give it to five of us.

Oh, I just got a Spotify.

I have a, I have a travel show called Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs.

And we're putting it on Spotify.

I do have to say fucking idea.

TV show.

Spotify.

Watch or Spotify.

Spotify.

You're great.

Spotify is a good sense of humor.

They're like Swedes, aren't they?

I think they're Swedes.

Swedes have good sense of humor.

Dude, tell me about the show.

Tell me about the show.

I actually saw this and I was kind of pumped on this.

Oh, yeah.

So all the towns I go and do stand-up in.

I find someone to teach me how to do their job.

And then I do their job.

And it's called Ian do an odd guy doing odd jobs.

The episode's coming out next week.

I got my tattoo license in Wisconsin.

And I tattooed a guy.

And then I also made pizza in Oklahoma City.

I've like cut hair.

I got tackled by a bunch of police like service training canines.

Oh, I thought you were.

I thought you were.

I thought you were.

Dude, I'm a dog and I get to attack people.

I can't imagine a better target than you.

They literally were like shit on the ground.

Wow.

He really, he really bit down on it.

He was like, yeah, no shit.

I'm in pain.

You're the most biteable man.

That was a Malinois.

This guy has huge balls.

Oh.

Hey, let's check.

You got to wear the suit.

Yeah, it was cool.

Could you get to like threaten one of them?

Like you're going to get them?

Oh, no, they had me run.

But I said things.

Like, uh, you'll never catch me.

Compers are like, I want to talk to a white shirt.

They tackled me.

I didn't like it.

They gave me the thinner soup, but they didn't tell me that.

What?

Yeah.

So you feel it more.

They imagine going to your barber for a haircut.

And it's like, hey, just as a one-time thing this guy is going to do instead today.

You're just like full.

Oh, yeah.

I fuck this guy up.

No.

He walked out so lumpy.

It was great.

Yeah.

I even think about that.

What was attached to him?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know about that.

What was attached to?

Uh, I tattooed that S symbol on this guy's leg.

You know that.

I'm going to have a sick, I was just wearing that.

I'm played in my greatest week this year.

Oh, in this weekend I'm going to be a pit-boss at Terry Blacks.

And I'm going to run security at the mothership.

I'm going to do due due to with the Marines in the morning.

And then they're going to put me to the ground.

Yeah.

I took a broadcast that there's going to be a security match for one night.

Only this week.

I'm going to.

I'm the liver liver king is chartering a jet right now. Yeah, there's all men coming

sure listen as a chance.

As a possibility we did pitch over graveyard is activating his body, but we were I'm still

waiting back and it will probably be no, but we're pitching to Rogan to have me be the

chauffeur that takes the guest to a show, but I wear the outfit with the hat and I don't

go in. I just wait outside. Are you sure? I mean, it sounds like a certain terrorist

fly. Also, the show where he was in her head, he wears it. Yeah, and the next week I'm

piloting a commercial flight from New York to LA. You guys know the ice man. I just need

to get close enough to spray something. I'll be dead. It's great. I'll show the show. New

York is in full journey. I'll do the guys of my travel show. Also, the show for the people

stay a block away. My plan is going on, you know, the Archduke, France, for today. Yeah.

No, but it's super fun. And it gets me like I was just a Connecticut. And I went to this

place called Hardinco and they are a like a gene and clothing company. Everything's handmade

with like antique American machines and tools. And so I made my own jacket. It's like

pretty cool. And I have a longing for the past. You're very, I love the past. Yeah, you're

very, very steampunk. Yeah, I know. I don't like that. Is that steampunk when you're

acting? You put like a tweet suit on like a, you seem like I'm not trying to be a dick.

It seems like you love the past, like handmade stitching and shit. Well, he did call, he

did, he did call them the blacks over there. So I think he's the only year and I do. He's

definitely heard about times. Yeah, better times. Someone say, those are actually the antique

machines.

No, you dare come on. It's good. You weren't behind the auction podium.

So I couldn't give him one. I knew you'd abuse the podium. Austin, Austin is better than

New York. I'm surprised. Fight it right there. I can't wait. I'm taking him down. That's

gonna be great. That'll be awesome. I'll come back. Yeah, the comedy, the inner city comedy

be for so far. I love that stuff. Oh, yeah. I just love division. It's amazing. You do.

I do. I like you know, I like unification. Really? I love unity. I love getting it all

about is hyper division bombarding people with information, titillating them, getting them

free shop, getting them into the streets, making them clash. You don't like that. You don't

like neighbors smashing each other with trash can lids outside because in Facebook, it's

fun to watch. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna show up and blow whistle the whole time. You

guys are doing Lewis versus me. I'm gonna get myself shot. I'll show up in a mask and

tactical gear. Show me your papers, Lewis. True. So I'm gonna bring it. Yeah. We don't

like New York comics around here. Yeah, it's embarrassing. Everyone's fighting each other

right now. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with you. I'm unification for real. I'm just fucking around.

Thank you. Well, you know, let's take it to a question from a premium subscriber. Cool.

Let me see. Yeah. That's fine. You can do that one. Oh, boy. This is for this is a perk

we give to the Patreon. Oh, cool. You know, I figured since you plugged a bunch of shit

in my soul. Oh, yeah. No, I appreciate that. What do you guys have going on? I'm a special

out. There's soon. Yeah. Check it out on YouTube. I'll be in Pittsburgh February 6th and

7th. Come do it to Maryway dot com. Hell, yes. Message from the premium subscriber. It's

they do Q and A shit. Okay. Read all of this. Yeah, man. That's a fucking. All right.

I'm a Hungarian immigrant within eating disorder. Okay. Let me do the accent. I am a

Hungarian immigrant. Me so hungry. That's one of the premiums. That's like a fucking

shareholder, dude. Oh, I he's a premium subscriber. You're a good guy. Spotify is great.

I'm a Hungarian. I'm a Hungarian immigrant with the needing disorder. Oh, I came to this

country 170 pounds, which is a good weight where I'm from a strong weight of a man. But since

getting here, the food has been very delicious. I eat and eat and eat. My mother tells me

I am like the kiss gombok, which if you're not familiar, it's a popular figure from Hungarian

mythology. In hungry, it is common to store leftover pig parts in their intestines, making

a sort of satchel for further eating. The kiss gombok is the pig intestine that comes

alive, eating everything in its path, getting bigger and bigger is more the village is consumed

until a pig's shepherd is also eaten, who slashes it from the inside of this trusty

blade, freeing the village who dance and celebrating. Either way, I now weigh 240 pounds.

I sent shirtless picture to my mother to prove how well I am doing in America. And she

calls me the kiss gombok, telling me she'd love to suck all my rich milk. It's the right

thing to do. She tells me ingest that she wants to crawl inside my cavity and sent my

belly like I once did in hers, feeding for my America goodies like the parasite it once

was. Only my mother is very old. And she tells me she wants to die in my belly for as

the old Hungarian saying goes, better to be still born in America than do live a whole

life in Hungary. I do. That's our premiums of drivers. I don't even know what the fucking

question is. There's no question. There's one who pisses me off. He just wants us to know.

His mom wants to live in his belly. Shout out Dominic Kansas. It is a Q&A, so we just

gave us an A. Yeah. Yeah. What way do you want to go? I want to die in my son's belly.

If you're not aware of the kiss gombok, they're weird. I love them. You know how you're

paying the bills. That was great. I know these guys, they're funny.

Do you ever do like a instead of a question and answer like a patron on like short story

contest or something? That would be fantastic. I thought it sounds like a guy with a fucking

problem. That could have been that could have been that was really well. That's not real.

You don't think that's real? That's a goof. Maybe they're fucking pulling the wool over

my eyes, but do you think that's real? But we could chat GPT it. No. We could. We could

have the kiss gombok is real. We'll go to another one. I was saying we could do this to be here.

We could see if it was written by chat GPT. That would be really damning. Yeah. Okay. Oh my

guys. This is a guy. Please just come on. Okay. For those of drivers. 35 year old metal worker here.

My brother's been happy. Can I do your job?

My brother's been having a real bad go with anxiety. I wish I could help him, but I've never

gotten anxiety myself. At least not like he gets it. He can just be sitting there doing nothing,

and the next thing I know he's all sweaty and freaking out. It's kind of embarrassing,

especially if we're at a restaurant or something, but I try my best to understand so I can be

there for him because after all he is my brother. Recently, he has had an episode where I personally

felt crossed the line. We were at my place watching football, me, my brother, and my boys.

I have three sons, two regular and one adopted.

I'm too regular and one I don't love.

And so my brother starts his hyperventilating bullshit, and I yell at him to stop because he

was freaking out my new son. He's a two year old Chinese kid that I literally just got a few days

before, which is a whole other issue. And so I've tried tough love on my brother and told him that

if I started having, if he started having one of his sweaty spas attacks, I'd haul off on his

ass thinking I'd give him something real to be afraid of, hoping he would cancel out any weird

inner weakness shit he was displaying in front of my kids. And so we get into it. My brother starts

crying, which triggered the fuck out of me. And so I started screaming at him, trying to tell him

having anxiety as a man and not having been in an active war zone is extremely gay and pathetic.

And he yells back saying it's not helping. So I shoved his ass down into the coffee table and he

spilled some wine on the carpet and now my wife is pissed. Also, I only paid four grand for the

Chinese kid, which I thought was fine since I've never adopted and didn't know at the prices.

But one of my buddies recently told me that he had to cough up like 40 grand. Do you think there's

any chance this little fucker fell off the truck or something if you catch my drift? Steve from

Flint, Michigan. Now, Steve, that's a question. Yeah, Steve, your brother might be anxious because

he's realized you've human trafficked the Chinese babies. That seems to be a better job for real

slugging the clutches. You're saying you an embarrassment of the promise. You're saying saying

he had to cough up 40,000,000. Yeah, incredible. How much does adoption cost? A lot. It's expensive.

Yeah, and the process is so long. Four grand makes me think like where did you get this kid?

Like, you go to some massage parlour and they're like, we have some kids. That thing is not real.

That's like a fake thing. That's gotta be a fake thing. You think they're fucking pull my chain?

Yeah, they're fake. They're trying to be funny guys. You're trying to do something nice. Well,

I don't know, I tried to do something nice. You think, you know, so I'd like to offer some advice for you.

Why not? Well, I mean, the last one, the misdirect from the anxiety to the Chinese

children makes me feel like I wonder why this kid has anxiety. His brother's beating the shit out of

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it does strike me as a little bit over the top.

Yeah, it's a 25 to 40 grand. 25 to 40. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he got a knockoff Chinese child.

He's a real. He's got a big child. He's a real. This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

Let's get real for a second here. I found that comedy is a great way to discover more about yourself.

Dude, I've learned, speak on how comedy has helped you discover something about yourself or helped you grow as a person.

You know, there's just something about talking in front of people and it's really helped me kind of like

grow my inner child or more specifically my pure arternis, which is the forever child in youngy in terms.

My shadow has been surely integrated. I mean, I go without saying. And other than that,

um, yeah, I had a big, um, had a big, uh, a bit of an adipase complex that I've resolved through just like sick jokes and whatever.

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Hey guys, real quick. You can catch me on the road doing live stand-up comedy. I have all new hour.

It's been going pretty well. People love it. I love it. Everyone's having fun. Guys,

I'll be in Las Vegas, Nevada, uh, the weekend of February 13th.

And then on Valentine's Day, it's a big one. Leave my family, guys, you know,

everyone's pissed, but whatever I'll do for you guys, Paramount Theater, Denver, Colorado,

on Valentine's Day, proper, uh, February 14th. I'll be there. So Las Vegas, that's a big one.

I don't know what's up with Las Vegas. All these other tickets are selling great.

Las Vegas is the last minute town full of gamblers.

Don't be the fucking ruined gambler and lose out on, you know, shows definitely going to sell.

Guys, don't even think it's not, but right now the ticket sales are fucking poor.

So please come to Las Vegas or I will now still come even. It's like 10 people, I don't care.

But so Las Vegas, 213, 214, uh, Denver, Colorado, then I'll be in a Boise, Idaho, Salt Lake City,

Utah, Cleveland, Ohio, a bunch of other places. Get tickets at Matt McCusker.com.

Also, the day this comes out, uh, it'll be Friday, the 31st, I believe, or 30th, it'll be the 30th,

Friday, the 30th. All gonna, Algonuts at Creek in the Cave. We're gonna do, I'm doing a show,

me and Tim bodily are doing a show where we go through people's phones,

look through their algorithm, project it on a screen. We all laugh. It's, it's a, it's a good time.

So that's it. Thank you. Uh, hey guys, I have two young daughters, two and five years old.

They're obsessed with the movie Frozen, which I can't understand.

Not that any of those movies are great, but Frozen is the worst of the worst, in my opinion,

and the message is complete bullshit. Basically, you have two sisters, the parents both die,

and the kids are left alone in a castle. The older one is essentially a moody bitch who moves

out to an ice castle, symbolic of a one bedroom apartment cat lady. After a younger sister,

archetypal slut, hoax up with the first dude she sees. Prince Hans of the Southern Isle.

And so the archetypal slut ends up attracting the archetypal dickhead who just uses her,

and so the whole thing goes on until Elsa, the older sister, froze the whole town,

which I think is symbolic for a bitch type lady's general presence.

Comes back to save Anna, but the slut sister somehow ends up frozen, symbolic of all women

eventually just becoming mean to no matter what. And it's brought back because of her own true love,

not Christophs, who in my opinion is the movie's true hero, but they make him out to be some

unnecessary side character who just has to deal with the fact that Anna, this slut younger sister,

has been ran through by Prince Hans as if body count doesn't matter. And I know she was technically

only, uh, wait, and I know she was technically only once Prince, but, uh, I think he got maybe

typo here. And I know she was technically only once Prince, but for a fairy tale, which typically

only deal with virgins, one is kind of insane, honestly symbolic of the fact that she'd been run

through one in a fairy tale equals 100 in real life. This is Frank in Manhattan. I'm just,

I'm just glad this guy's a father. I mean, what the fuck? It feels like he was typing with one hand

and jerking up. This guy is daughter. And he's speaking that way. We'll do better next week.

That's what a monster. Again, that wasn't even a question. There was no question.

I just wanted to use that. That was more of an offense. He just wanted to use this fairy tale body

language. That's very tell body count. Our fathers of young daughters dealing with like, uh,

body count issues right now, probably more than any time in history.

I think, well, no, because I think they used to like kill them.

You know what I mean? Now that helps. Sometimes the world is to kill your daughter or like,

you'd have to kill the guy if they dishonored her. Yeah. Because you had to basically sell them

for like, yeah. And fucking women knew not to fuck around, or else there would be consequences.

So of course, they can be man. They're married. Also, there's been barns full of, uh,

you know, hey, piles going back to the beginning of civilization. You know, I mean,

yeah, girls. I never thought about this. You know, it's crazy. You know, it's nuts.

So back in the day, when you get like a medieval time, if you have a daughter,

you would get like one pig for your daughter, right? One pig. Can we look that up?

That sounds low. Maybe 25 to 40,000. What is the thing? Dude, that was like,

it was a Chinese pig. It was like a wife. Only fans models make billions of years.

Those guys, I think, went drag, they got drastically lowballed.

If you think about it, but most only fans, woman's true value. It's like sitting on top of oil.

Kind of, but most only fans models make nothing. Most only fans model are just showing holes

to the void. Even 250 bucks a month compared to in pigs, medieval pigs.

That's a bad. Can we get a conversion rate? Yeah, but yeah, that's a horde of 2026. Yeah,

but a pig yields more pigs on a food and my pigs. No, you're right. So like one pig yields.

No way, man. I've been to functions where a pig was barely one meal.

I've been to parties where an entire pig was just like the meal for the night.

You know, we're going to do one feast in exchange for your daughter's

chastity, but they probably also didn't eat a ton so they could make the pig last a while,

right? No way. It's meat. It'll spoil. But didn't they also get cows and like donkeys and stuff?

A cow. A little margis.

If you're lucky, yeah, you get a cow. That'd be a good present. Yeah, but

also didn't you get like a cow in some land? Like wasn't that the dowry?

It's all depends on your daughter, how hot she was. And probably like the area you're

50 shackles of silver. Uh-huh. Okay. What were the equivalent in livestock basically? Okay,

so they're they probably had it paid pretty well then. I was thinking people got ripped off

medieval times when selling their daughters. I mean, they probably did. Yeah,

but I mean, it just I mean, the real people who got ripped off were the daughters.

What do you mean they're property of the father?

They were the father's rifle property. Can you imagine having a daughter

be like, yes, this will pay off in the long run.

Miami, maybe that is 18 years of just like feeding her while she learns like basket weaving

and shit. You don't get fat, man. That would be pretty nuts. That is like, yeah,

that wouldn't feel good, honestly. If you had like a beautiful daughter and all you

could think about was just selling her for like a sack of gold. Yeah, that would feel like

you'd be like, kind of be bittersweet. Imagine being like a hot daughter. It was your

retirement by the way. Really? I'm only worth a pig.

Go hot. I am compared to these toothless goblins. Like shouldn't I be worth like a two pigs?

But if you're like a peasant's hot daughter, it's still a pig. It's like, I'd rather a noble

two fish goblin. You would get a fattened sour though. If you're a peasant's hot daughter,

you'd probably get a fat pig in that girl. They'd probably be like, that's cool.

See, in my neck of the woods, they work with goats. I don't know how fat goats go.

My neck of the woods are talking about Azerbaijan is very funny. Yeah, I prefer a goat to a pig for sure.

Yeah, goats give you milk. There's more. There's more happening with the goat. You can

fuck a goat with them. What? What are you doing? What are you planning for?

What do you say? You said you could fuck a goat. I said you can fuck any animal.

True. In a range marriage, would there ever be like, if you're not like status matching,

would you ever make up the difference with an animal? I don't know. I'm looking directly at this.

No, the shades are hiding in your eyes. Yeah, I'm actually scared of the answer.

My parents were a range marriage and the way that it worked is my dad grew up in a very poor

village. My mom came from a rich family in Bangladesh, but he got to America. So that was his

trade-off. You get to America, you get the hot girl of a rich family, and then you bring her

family to America. That was the density of the trade-off to work harder. Yes, exactly. He came in,

he got to America and they were like, oh, here's an anchor bear. Man, he had to like,

he went to engineering school in DACA with a couple of our good kids. He just rode a goat

across the Atlantic. Onward to the bearing strength. Actually, the life of pie was based on my dad.

The wife of pie. The wife of the wife. The wife to buy. The life of cream pie.

So he did. That's a sick deal. Get to America, get the babe. Yeah, you got the hero's journey.

Yeah, it's something to aspire to. It's like, oh, my question is, are they legal?

Thank you for asking.

So he got here legally. Legally. Yeah.

Damn, this order's hell. Why the hell couldn't she get here? She's rich.

Well, yeah, like, like, girls can't. Oh, they can have ideas of them. Yeah, I think she's

like, I have an idea. She's worth dreaming.

Let a poor guy dream for you. Yeah, you'll marry him. My mom told the story about how

when she was younger, she like, kind of dated the guy across the street from her,

and then her brothers found out, and they punished her by taking her out of school.

I just stopped teaching her. Yeah, yeah. I think she went to college. She's a dentist now,

so she figured it out. Yeah, look, I mean, hey, you say that, but check that out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So together, arranged marriages never get divorced.

Yeah, almost never. It's like a 90%. Yeah, yeah. Are they, are they not allowed?

No, they're allowed, but it's like, it's sort of like this. So they call it, there's

arranged marriages and love marriages. That's what they call it. And in arranged marriages,

you're sort of faced with the person and who they are immediately. So you have to learn

to love them in a love marriage. There's passion and that phase over time. And then you

get to know the person, right. And then might change. So it's like, you come at it with a

different mindset. And do you think the arranged marriage, like the goal is to have children

and bring families together? So then that they recognize it like they kind of have to lay down

their desires for the greater good of the family and communities. So then they work together as a

team rather than people that during anti-girlboss. Absolutely. Yeah, it's interesting.

Yeah, it's an Asian thing. Asian, it's like, you work for the, the whole culture.

It's, but you know, the nail that sticks out gets the hammer. That's what they say in those

cultures. So you got to like, we got to work for everybody. What about a range divorce?

That would be sweet. That would be sweet. You know, you got to do that. You were done.

Yeah, you got to have to go back. Yeah, we want the original go. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give me the original walk. Give me the goat back.

Like, it's like 23 years old compared.

Kill me.

I mean, it is a funny idea to think you're going to like, as a young person, stare at a person

and go, yes, this is total, this is like, you know, I know that was obviously no better how to

mash you up. Yeah. And it's kind of tight, man. I don't know. The idea of arranged marriage,

I've always thought it was cool. Well, the idea, the arranged marriage is how everyone did it

forever up until recently. Like, even even like the American like, yeah, go ahead. How do they

decide the arrangements? What do you mean? Do they just like put names on dice and roll?

So we're talking about thousands of years of like culture. Yeah, they have a

fuck me for asking. I'm sorry, I didn't have a friend.

Their names are in jambon.

Maybe other people are fired.

And maybe other people are in blows. And that's where they go find their one. Maybe on the

Jackie B.D. because they're so judgements with questions. Here's how it works now. It's because

there's like, it's like a vestige of that where it's not like they're not forcing people to get

married anymore, but they'll give the girls something called like biodatas. And it's like a picture

of the guy's face and all his stats. Like, height, weight, what he does, what he likes, what kind of

family he's from. It's a dating real file. So it's like Indian pop the balloon.

Yes. It's like, it's possible. But if you don't pop the balloon, you get married for life.

If you're a classicist, like, you would love this. What? You know, you're an old classicist.

I thought you would love this. Back they did in the good days.

Yeah. It was meant to be done. So what would they do prior? They would take

dissuades? They would be like, the lady by her hair and go, get the fuck out of here.

You let me get a purse of drink. Give me that clean. My mom, my mom, my mom, my mom walk

and do a wedding is one of those. Isn't that a show on TLC? Yeah. What did she do to a wedding?

She like, so she met my dad. They're like, oh, we're kind of like, yeah, I like this guy.

Like, this is what kind of compatible. And then oh, we can get to America, all that sort of

stuff. And then yeah, she walked into the next time they met. She was like, oh, this is my wedding.

She's like, realized like she had never been honest about like her feelings in that moment.

Like was she and initially attracted? Or would she like, like, how did that work out?

I think at first she was like, oh, but then I mean, she understand, understandably, but

crazy situation. But like, she loves my dad. My dad's a good man. So it's like, yeah, yeah,

he's so nice. He funded her dream. So it's like, she kind of lucked out. That's kind of like,

such a better love story than like, oh, yeah, it's like, they're such a, they're such a cute old

couple. They go, they want, they go hiking all the time. Like to do like 10 hour hikes together.

I love that. That's nice. Yeah, it's like, put my bio dad out there. And then we'll say because

they're arranged, there's more like those rough times, they're like, really try to make it work.

There's no, they're not trying to like get out. Also, you kind of have customer service.

You can just both call your parents and be like, what the fuck? Yeah, what the fuck?

Did you get HR in your own way? You're falling. You can just be like, yeah, what the fuck?

You guys? Yeah, and I bet the advice you get from the parents since they went through it is

way more like on the level and just logical than going with like feelings and having like two

families that have never dealt the same. Otherwise, it's just you're drunk at a bar one night.

You go, I think I want to fuck it. He also likes hiking. Yeah. Yeah. We're going to make it.

It's just, I think it's, yeah, I think it's just equally kind of interesting.

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Yeah, yeah. When I was younger, I was like, arranged marriages like never. Now that I'm old,

I'm like, oh, I kind of see the I see the value in it. Dude, yeah. Yeah, what's up?

Do you qualify for an arranged marriage? Could you be arranged as a as a comedian,

there's not a lot of Bengali girls that would that would be interested. Yeah, I have to be like

but in America for them to even start like like right now like so do you aspire to be like a

cosh? I like. I'll say this. I'm not trying to be a better question. Do you aspire to be like a

cosh like a year and a half ago? Yeah, I'm not sure if it's a king. By the way, it's not a

king change. It's not life. It's not life. It's alpha. But yeah, like, I'm not like I will say,

my my special right now is doing pretty good. No Bengali people are watching it. And I asked

my mom, I was like, they're not going to be like two days. One of those countries where if you put

like the unlicensed music, they restricted that country. Do you ever do a YouTube video where you

put like a song like we're not going to show this. No, it's not. It's not. It's not like Russian.

Fuck. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, I would say I would say I'm not like in with the culture yet.

Really? Yeah. I mean, I'm literally surrounded by white people all the time and wall of blacks.

If you're going like, if you're going to like a birthright trip to about the nods, no, not yet.

I'm going to, if I'm going to go with my dad at one point before that. I've never gotten dizzy.

I got to a porta-potty and think you've been on a birthright trip.

You don't tell me. I'm in my culture.

You're telling me though, and I don't know much about Bengali, but it's like,

you're like, I'm an American comedian. I'm working. They need to see you like on TV.

Or they're going to think, no, I'm just going to marry this fuck.

Yeah, like you and Bengali, you'll be like a cab driver in America.

Like I aren't, isn't my status higher?

Isn't, isn't America the, the, the, the foundational ground of like what status is compared to Bengali?

I'm not going to, I'm not going to go marry some third world chick.

Like that's not, that's not going to happen.

You ain't never let it start here.

Yeah, I won't let it. It's already here.

Well, it's like, it's be reasonable.

Yeah, my man, my man.

You ain't never going to get that third world pussy.

Yeah, I'm a penny stock guy myself.

Yeah, I'm a, where's your wife?

Oh, after she gets her polio shots, she'll be over here.

I'm not looking for anything I'm talking about.

Yeah, you do, it might be like investing in bitch coin that $100,000 or something.

She blocks them into a fucking high.

Bro, you can 10x on your wife.

Yeah, there's a whole bunch of crazy, best case scenario.

Maybe the third world, I would be like, no schooling.

Just make sure they got good teeth.

You get to start asking the mothership to pay you in goats.

I was a third world, no schooling wife and I would show her.

I would, I would educate her myself.

Like Instagram, reals, how like mosquitoes are from like Satan.

I would just do the fucking house.

I would just do the thumbtrick.

I was gone.

I don't know, I'm mad at them.

Be sure to even get them mad at me.

They're doing so much good magic over there.

Yeah, you're fucking up dude, you got to go.

Bro, you got to go to straight village.

Just straight, bro.

Go to the mother fucking story.

Maybe, maybe.

But yeah, the awesome.

Did they know about the JRE and

Banggood?

Hit him with the link.

Yeah, hit him with the three links.

Times they have a good clip.

Yeah, even in America, even like a,

think at least in American bro, I'm like, what are you talking about?

Yes, that hasn't worked out for me.

I mean, pretty much everything.

I stated one Hindu girl.

That was, that was interesting.

But other than that, it's been most, it's been all white chicks.

I read a book.

Oh, you know.

What life fancy lemons?

You make lemonade.

But yeah, I read a book about like older,

like, you know, in India, specifically wedding practices.

And that was kind of like,

yeah, you, as a young girl, I'm like 12,

your husband would be decided and they would just be like,

you got to live in their house.

And you just live under your future husband's mother

who would like, kind of haze you

and like, see what you're made of and bully you.

And if you got pregnant with a son,

they would finally be like, hey, we love you.

We love you.

We got in the water.

They would be like, fucking bitch.

I'll be like, I hate you.

Being a firstborn son in a brown family,

fucking sick.

Yeah.

Fucking sick.

They would be like, for real,

and be like, you were literally worthless.

You'd be there to like Cinderella style doing chores

and you get pregnant.

They'd be like, let's see.

It was a girl.

They'd be like, ugh, you fucking piece of shit.

Wow.

Yeah.

It's like being trans in the South.

Get out.

I hate you.

Yeah.

Arguably worse.

Yeah.

Hardly worse.

Yeah, it's not that if you're trans in the South,

you can, you can go somewhere.

If you're just in that situation,

you're stuck with a mother.

But what about the women that they're born

in those scenarios?

Can have, could they like run away?

Is there like a underground railroad for,

I mean, like,

pregnant children?

Yeah, right into a fucking brothel.

Yeah, probably.

They're talking about it.

The end result isn't probably not great at all.

You know, they're free.

No way.

You're just going to go right into a fucking like, you know.

There's no like Bengali freedom fighters

of like trying to free the the women from.

Well, I mean, now,

we're not going to that just way more modern.

This is what we're talking about.

Yeah, I was talking to you about your book.

Yeah, this was, yeah, this is what the book.

The book you said you read.

Oh, yeah, no, that was bad.

It was like in the early days.

I'll say that my mom is a third of nine brothers and sisters

and she was the last of age marriage.

So like everything after that

was like more agency and stuff.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, really?

Is that, you know, you said Bill Mills thing?

I heard Bill something called Bill Mills

was like kind of a range like.

No, that's just, that's just Indian tender.

It's not where the parents are going to add to that.

Well, I'll say this.

Bill Mills, Bill Mills,

Bill Mills, Indian tender basically.

It's like it's for the days you got to imagine the DMs.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's your phone is spoke coming out of there.

It's all, it's crazy.

All Bob's all the kids.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, car company that just runs on those.

I'm sorry, car company that just runs on those.

I'm sorry, car company that just runs on those.

When you're creating your account

and you put in female,

it goes, are you sure?

Are you, are you ready for this?

So, so Bill Mills, Indian tender,

and like, I didn't know that.

In that, there are a lot of parents.

Not everyone, there's, there's,

but a fair amount of them are keep,

the parents are running the kids account

trying to find something.

That's, that's part of it.

But, you could just be, people,

you could just be, you could just be in there.

I was with parents chatting each other.

Sometimes, sometimes.

Yeah.

What are you doing later on?

Like, when those pedophile honors act like children to cash.

Pedophile?

Yeah.

India's like Prince.

It's like Chris Hansen, but then you get married.

Come over here.

Come over there to be making milk and cookie.

Sure, it'd be funny to do a Chris Hansen show

where there's no age you can sense.

And the guy shows up and you go,

yeah, here it's funny.

You're legally within your right.

There you go.

I'm still going to read your text messages.

I'm not, I'm not sure now.

Are you?

But I'm going to do, to catch a husband.

And Dilma, I know, Dilmael was,

I didn't know that was a thing.

Well, yeah, but, but, but, but that's still mostly

just regular days.

People can go and be like, I know I'm talking to the mother.

I'm trying to smash you.

I mean, most likely you're still,

you're talking to the person.

That's like that's what what what he's talking about

is very rare, but does it just like a landline on an app?

Yes, what's the, what's the word?

What is Dilmael?

Is Dilmael short for something?

Like, dude, I'd like to milk her.

What's the cultural significance?

I actually don't know.

It's probably something Hindi that I don't know.

I don't know Hindi very well.

All right, Hindi at all.

Yeah, it's not the spice.

Dil's not a real prevalent spice.

Yeah, and they probably don't call it Dil.

It probably means something.

We could chat you be here.

But I guess we'll just know.

I guess we'll just never really probably

a lot more fun to speculate.

Yeah, just make up an answer and we'll go,

well, we'll never know.

Yeah, those kind of hearts meeting.

Hearts meeting.

Hearts meeting.

That's hearts meeting.

Oh, that's nice.

Hearts meeting is nice, man.

I like that.

What does it mean to get the elders involved?

They come up with a nice note.

Yeah, hearts meeting is tender.

What is tender is what you used to create a fire.

Yeah, yeah, you've been on the apps that forever

and you've never one stopped to think what it means.

That's crazy.

Not a lot going on up here.

Interesting.

What's so swipe mean?

Hey, Tim, I retain Seaman.

Not knowledge.

Dr. Zoonie, I think you're back shot for my money.

I think actually,

actually, Grindr is based on what your parents do

and you tell them that they match their teeth and weep.

They match their teeth and weep.

That's what they think you should do and you should tell you should die.

Dill Mill is kind of the opposite of Grindr where Grindr,

like you can, they'll show you how many feet away you are from somebody.

Dill Mill, they'll send you people in the UK

and they'll tell you people everywhere.

Yeah, there's a big people, there's a big one of the things.

One of the things, one of the preferences you can state that's pretty high

is whether or not you'd be willing to relocate.

But I couldn't join Dill Mill as a wife.

You probably could.

Well, what's, you know, I don't know what brown person will be looking

for a white person on Dill Mill, that seems.

But you can, you can try it.

Yeah, you can also go to the Trudeau route.

Because you didn't go, Trudeau didn't go black face,

but he also went like brown face kind of.

No, he went brown face.

Yeah, he went brown face.

He didn't do brown face.

He didn't do black face.

He went brown face.

What about rebooting Seaman, but as a, as brown face,

so man.

Remember that movie?

That's the one where he does black face together.

We're the Harvard.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And he learns what it's like to be a black guy.

I never think about that.

The, the, think about that.

The speech at the end is great.

I can't wait on that.

Just, yeah, yeah.

I'm not asking you to fund it.

Matt, how about you exactly, exactly.

I'm tied up right now.

I have a, I have a, a movie I want to make.

I'm going to do, you know, Nollywood, Nigerian Hollywood.

You can make a movie for like 15 grand.

So I want to write a movie and then have,

I just write the script and have people in Nigeria

just film star the whole thing.

And I'm going to put it out on my YouTube.

That'd be pretty sick.

Just like a really wild soap.

So wait, you would have them star in it?

Yeah, I'm not going all the way over there.

So I would, I would just have,

just put it up on fire.

The Mayor be the star of my Nollywood.

They would carry him around.

You know, I would be a Nollywood star.

He'd be the pig they give to someone.

What?

Wow.

You married my daughter.

You're one of them.

You're one of them.

You're one of them.

You're one of them.

You're one of them.

You guys really don't mess around up there, do you?

Everywhere we go is like the cellar table.

You never know.

Well, Mr.

You guys really hard to bring up.

Well, damn, I think we made it to an hour.

You guys, I knew this would be such a fun time.

Such a fun time.

This is great.

You guys fucking ruled.

I'm great.

We're going to do what we're going to do.

We're going to do the Patreon next up.

If you guys want to stay, stay,

if you guys want to leave totally fine.

I'm here.

He's really waiting.

I'd love to.

Lamar, go ahead and drop the pig blood on Ian, please.

Real quick.

Carry up.

Yeah.

Renale time.

You're going to log in through.

I'm going to take your time.

I'm going to take a little break.

We'll head into the Patreon.

Thank you guys.

Appreciate it.

Thanks so much.

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