EP #82 Breaking Patterns, Changing Beliefs, Communication: A Quick Review

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How do we break patterns?

Outcome, outcome, outcome

Remember, that in the NLP model, all experience has structure. When you explore and change the structure, your experience changes, the perception, meaning, and feeling. NLP creates specific changes rather than random, trial-and-error changes. It changes things by adding resources, not taking away anything. 

Our experience and patterns are organized on a hierarchy of neurology from Environment, Behavior, Capability, Belief/Value, Identity, and Spiritual.  Each level organizes the level underneath it. Changes at a higher level will change something underneath it but not necessarily the other way around. It is important to understand what logical level a change needs to take place for the change to be effective and long-lasting. The neuro-levels are important because they are part of a unified field that includes yourself, others' observer positions, and past present, and future. Patterns can be caused at a behavioral level, cap, belief, or identity. Interestingly, people are aware of the patterns they run (or not) but not aware of what causes them.  Changing the cause at the root of the problem will create lasting change and have the change in all three primary channels. 

6-step reframing behaviors, internal dialog, nail-biting, etc can be changed with parts negotiation unless it is on a higher logical level. the lower the level, the more immediate the results, and the higher, the longer the integration because it is unconscious. Anchoring can also change our states, and give us choices, and as a result, a pattern can change. If it works for a while and then comes back, you probably need a change at a higher logical level.

How do we change our beliefs? 

Be aware that most people cannot do their own belief work because beliefs are submerged in our unconscious mind. It takes someone excellent at recognizing patterns, calibration, and asking questions to discover limiting beliefs. 

The first step is knowing what belief to change. This is challenging since beliefs run in packs and are slippery, according to Robert Dilts. They are mostly unconscious, in systems with a core belief that is young and hidden. One approach is to look at the behavior and ask, what do I believe to do this? What do I see hear and feel? What happens just before I start the behavior?  Understand what it does for us, the positive intent and the goal of the intention, what are counterexamples to the belief, and finally, what behavior I want to do and what would I have to believe to do that behavior.  And then, of course, belief statements are simple, they are beliefs, not behaviors, and have no ecological downsides. 

How do we communicate most effectively? 

Simply by speaking to another’s understanding. We communicate the way we understand words. So people who are like us, understand us and people not like us don’t. It limits the number of people we can connect with and promotes a lot of misunderstanding and miscommunication. 

The more we are like a person the more the understanding. 

The skills to engage for excellence in communication: perceptual positions, calibration, sensory awareness, rapport (m and p) and to influence, and lead. Ask questions (curiosity), state management, and control over your own internal dialogue. 

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