EP #94 Reclaiming Control With NLP: Overcoming 5 Common Traps That Keep You Stuck

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From an NLP perspective, what are some of the common ways we get stuck in experiences or behavior patterns because we aren’t exercising as much conscious control as we really have?

 1.     Holding Onto Limiting Beliefs 

Tips to overcome this:

An easy way to begin to loosen the effects of a belief is to do Sleight of Mouth. Ep 51, 53.

Take the belief statement with a cause/effect or meaning, and write out the pattern of SOM to change it. This will weaken the belief and make it open to changing into something more positive.

 Example: I never get to save money because I spend all that I make.

Your intention is to be responsible and have money for a rainy day.

Has there ever been a time when you were able to save money?

Saving a little is better than saving nothing at all.

2.     Engaging in Negative Self-Talk and Internal Dialogue

Tips overcome this:

Monitor your self-talk. Change any negative move-away statement to something that moves towards what you want. Negative self-talk is the result of neuro-grooving. The thought becomes habituated. Change the language to what you want. Punch or Meta reframes are good for this. I can’t change my circumstances. You can change that thought!

Conflict resolution between what you say and something more empowering.

3.  Failing to Set Clear, Positive Outcomes

Tips overcome this:

This is the most important principle of getting what you want. A goal or outcome must be stated in positive, active language, self-initiated and maintained, ecological, and demonstrated in see, hear, feel. I’m saving $15 a week. I’m putting it in a place where it is more difficult to access. I am doing this for myself or by myself. I may lose a couple of cups of coffee a week. I see myself putting the money in a special place or transferring it to another account. I see the amount increasing every week. I tell myself that this is easier than I thought it was going to be. I feel a sense of well-being in my chest and smile.

 4. Assigning Disempowering Meanings to Experiences

Tips overcome this:

Look at something in a different way, and what does that mean? 

Change positions to look at something. What else could this mean? 

Ask someone else, a friend or mentor, what else could it mean?  

Read the opinions of others and widen your perspective.

Talk to someone you respect and trust for a different way of looking at something.

And write a story about the meaning and experience. Then rewrite it with a more positive perspective.

5. Poor Management of Emotional States

Tips overcome this:

Regular self-care and maintenance

Visualize yourself in happy, calm, confident states

Anchoring negative emotions with positive ones.

Conflict resolution between the present state and the desired state

 These are all brief suggestions. Remember that certain problems, especially those that come up over and over again, may need some work with me. Especially dealing with belief issues and meaning perspective, having someone who can guide you through these saves time, effort, and yes, even money.  NLP is not necessarily self-applied. Some problems may seem simple but have more complex underlying causes. 

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