Episode 181 - The Accident

0:00Welcome to the world, I'm your host, Jack Wagner. This episode comes from Finn, who is 34 years old and from Massachusetts. In 2016, while working his usual summer job at a warehouse, he found himself subject to a freak accident that left him with a severe leg injury. Even years after this incident, he still experienced pain and described the feeling as though his leg wasn't even a part of his body. Five years later, after receiving some really helpful care from a friend who is a massage therapist, Finn decided to pursue training himself by taking classes at a local massage therapy school. It was here that his instructor briefly introduced the class to a specialized form of massage therapy, a form great for treating scar tissue called myofacial release or MFR.

1:11This teacher asked for two students to perform a demonstration on, and due to his extensive scar tissue, Finn made for a perfect volunteer. What happened to Finn a few days later is where this story gets really interesting. This episode is called The Accident and you're listening to The Other World. Hello? Is this Bobby? What's it called? That it's a core of the science you can't argue with. You don't have a story to bow to science. It's something that's not. It's almost frustrating that it's happened. I'm gonna die a project. It's a whim for the foot of the wrong. Everybody knows that. You can do the right. Even if it takes them a minute. My name is Finn. I'm 34.

2:21I live and grew up in Massachusetts, but I just moved back a year ago after traveling a lot. I lived in New Orleans on and off for like 10 years. That's where I lived when my story happened. I'm a little bit like woo-woo, but I like to think that I'm different from other woo-woo people. I'm more discerning. I guess I just feel like very skeptical of most people who like present themselves as experts on which year esoteric occult stuff. I'm like extremely picky about the sources that I like engage with and try to learn from. And it's mostly like kind of I try to take it from a pretty like historical academic kind of perspective. I grew up on a farm in rural Massachusetts. It was a bison farm.

3:22The beginning of my childhood was like really idyllic and beautiful. Like I loved living on the farm. And it was just like really really cool. But both of my parents are alcoholics. And my dad was sober when I was born and then and my mom had not a problem. But then when I got older when I was like seven or eight they both started drinking and that like went south like pretty quickly. So then from there things were like pretty rough. My mom got sober when I was like twelve or thirteen and really like leveled out and became like a really really amazing mom again. My dad really struggled and we didn't have a very good relationship and he passed away in like 2016 from drinking. So I just became I don't know. I really liked like partying and getting drunk and doing drugs and stuff like that. And then I kind of got into the punk scene and then was traveling and I kind of lived all over the place.

4:26And yeah lived like a very chaotic life for a long time until a few years ago. And now I'm very settled and sober and yeah living a pretty good life. So I had this summer job that I did for about ten years. And it was a summer camp luggage company that just ran from July to August. And it was very grueling like working fourteen or eighteen hour days every day for two or three weeks and then a week off. And then back like all summer. It's a really weird niche thing where there's a lot of huge summer camps along like the East Coast. And we would pick up the luggage from their house and deliver it to the summer camp and at the end of the summer we would pick it up with the summer camp and bring it back to their house. And we had a really quick turnaround. We would get the luggage back like back and forth within two or three days which was much faster and cheaper than FedEx or UPS.

5:35And just super super rich families. And the luggage was like crazy. It was these gigantic duffel bags that you could fit two medium sized people inside of huge duffel bags. So it was like impossible sometimes or very inconvenient for the families to bring it to the summer camp themselves. So yeah that was that job. It was a lot of like heavy lifting. They would rent this like gigantic warehouse for the summer and everyone would work like all day every day for months and then it was over. I didn't even know that this like class of people existed. I thought that there was like the kids that I grew up with that were rich in my opinion. They lived in like MacManchion like developments. And so in my mind there was those people who were upper middle middle class and then celebrities. And I didn't know that there was like this class of people who were like super rich huge huge houses and these summer camps cost like 10 to 20,000 dollars per kid.

6:46And they would be sending multiple kids. I don't know what they did for work. And a lot of them lived on Long Island for the summer in summer homes, whatever. So I would be like totally like filthy and exhausted and staying in hotels like all over the northern east coast. We would also go to Florida and work there. But most of it was between Maine and Pennsylvania and New Jersey. And getting so little sleep driving constantly and lifting these bags that were on average 50 pounds sometimes more showing up feeling like completely feral and having to talk to people who were just that wealthy. And it was so bizarre, especially being so exhausted and sleep deprived. We would go kind of crazy and it was its own little world. But it was fun.

7:47Also, and we would party at the hotel and stuff occasionally there'd be a pool that would be fun. So I was working in the warehouse for this summer job. And we had these carts electric carts that were just a seat in the front and a flatbed in the back. And we would stack the luggage on there to drive it around the warehouse and sort it into these massive piles and then stage them to go on the trucks and stuff. And I was picking up some like Dunkin Donuts trash from the morning they had bought us like coffee and donuts. And my friend, he was driving one of the carts and he was delivering ice to the various coolers that were around the warehouse full of water for everyone that was working. It really was a freak accident. He had two bags of ice on the seat next to him. And the parking brake wasn't on on the cart, which we never did. It was like you jump off, jump back on, keep it going. Very fast pace environment.

9:01And so he picked up one bag of ice and the other one slid off the seat onto the accelerator pedal of the cart and it just drove off across the warehouse by itself with nobody in it. And he says that he was he tried to like grab it, like just pull it back and stop it from driving like with his hands. And the front of it was like bent back a little bit because he was like holy on so tight, like trying to stop it from going. But it just went it was like pedal to the floor and drove across the warehouse. I had no idea I was just picking up trash. And I remember I had like bent over to pick up something off the floor. And when I stood up, it was I had a second of realizing that it was heading towards me. I had no idea that nobody was in it. And it and there was a table against the wall right next to me. And the cart hit me and pinned me against the table.

10:16I must have kind of tried to jump out of the way based on where the scar is. But it was stuck. So it was still like accelerating pushing me against like the edge of this table that was pressing into the side of my leg above the knee. And then people ran over, turned the cart off, backed it away from me and kind of lifted me up and put me on the seat of the cart. My legs were on the steering wheel. And my leg was crushed in a way where it hadn't really broken the skin. It had crushed all the tissue under the skin. I thought that my femur was broken like for sure. It wasn't thank God, but somebody called an ambulance and they took me to the hospital.

11:17I remember having a panic attack in the hospital after the sort of adrenaline wore off. Because in the moment I just was like very okay what do we have to do. And then when I was just sitting in a wheelchair at the hospital with my friend and had calmed down a little bit, I just started like hyperventilating and like sobbing. It all kind of like hit me. But they sent me home or back to my hotel room. I was done working for the season. And from there I went to yeah a bunch of kind of seemingly shady physical therapists and doctors. In New York through the workman's comp. And I developed this huge hematoma which is like a collection of blood under the skin. Usually that can be just like it kind of looks like a bruise. But this was huge by the end it was like bigger than I break through.

12:20This huge thing on the side of my leg that was just full of like blood and dead tissue. And that eventually had to be cut open and drained. And actually the doctor that did it he was he was blown away by this hematoma because he's kind of specialized in that. And he was like this is the biggest hematoma I've ever seen. And I wanted to film them draining it because I thought it was going to look crazy and it did because they did film it. And it's horrifying. It's just like exploded. But then they stitched it up and it healed and now there's sort of just this huge indent on my leg where a bunch of tissue is just gone from under the skin. And it looks like kind of a chunk was just taken out of my leg. And there's a lot of scar tissue, a big wall of scar tissue. And I did eventually get a small settlement, but it was not anything near what I should have gotten from being like permanently, you know, maimed and like disfigured from this accident.

13:31And after I got the surgery where they cut it open, drained everything out, and so me back up I had to wear like a stocking and compression stocking for like a month. And then it healed and it was kind of okay for like a few years. And then it happened really slowly where I started to it just ached all the time and occasionally I would get like fleeting sharp pain in the scar area. But it was all the skin, all the skin still to this day is numb. But I would have these deep sharp pains that would come in this persistent achiness in my leg that got worse and worse. And I would have sharp pain that would come and go where the scar tissue is. And I don't know if it was just like a dissociation where it was just so scary and concerning and hurt so much all the time that I psychologically like distanced myself from it or what.

14:39But I always said like my leg didn't feel like it was a part of my body or like it was alive like it felt I had a wooden leg or something. I just felt completely mentally disconnected from it. It was really bizarre and uncomfortable. I had a friend that I actually met at the Summer Camp Lugage job that was a massage therapist and I started going to her. She's an amazing massage therapist and it was so profoundly helpful to me. I felt very drawn to massage therapy because of the work that I had gotten done by my friend and how much it had helped me. And it was the pandemic and there wasn't really anything to do and I didn't have a career path of any kind. I just do a manual labor and driving jobs and was sick of that. So I decided to try massage therapy and I signed up for classes at the community college.

15:43And I was pretty good at it from the start and I loved it. It came really naturally to me and I like I got straight A's. I was never bothered by studying. I really really enjoyed being in school. As far as I know, all massage therapy programs have a very similar curriculum. It's the basics. You kind of get introduced not to every modality of bodywork but a lot. It's a two year program. So in class we learned about myofascial release. A lot of different things are called myofascial release. A lot of different techniques kind of fall under that umbrella referred to by that. But the instructor happened to be trained in a very specific type of myofascial release called the John Barnes method of myofascial release. It was invented by this guy John Barnes who was a physical therapist and he is just an eccentric guy.

16:52He actually has a training program where there's people that travel the country or are stationed all over the country that teach his method. But he's kind of this burly long haired guy who wears a leather vest and loves to he there's a lot of videos of him on YouTube working on people in a big auditorium with lots of people observing and sort of teaching his method and a lot of videos of him working on people like outside in Arizona in this sort of beautiful Arizona landscape. He seems like a character. We were talking about working on scar tissue and he said this technique that I'm trained in is really good for working on scar tissue. I can't certify you in this modality but I can do a demonstration just because it's interesting. And I volunteered and so did my classmate he said I'll demonstrate on on two people so we both volunteered because we both had scars that were pretty I have mine and then he had a scar from a spine obifida surgery he had when he was an infant on his back.

18:09So it's a very brief very gentle thing it's eight minutes you start off just truly like laying your hands on the person and then you slowly slowly slowly over the course of eight minutes stretch the tissue in opposite directions and for two minutes you slowly bring your hands back together and your hands probably move. And into to in that time it's very very like slow and meticulous and that's why you know we were not going to be trained in how to do that. So I laid on my side on the massage table he explained that the technique takes about ten minutes and that it was very very slow very subtle but very effective very perfect. Very profound and he started to work on me he just put his two hands on my leg sort of on either side of the scar and I didn't feel much when he was doing the technique he had sort of said this comes up a lot in massage therapy.

19:27I actually haven't seen it happen that much myself but that you know emotions can come up during this kind of work whatever so I was kind of prepared for that to happen and it didn't happen. Yeah so it was a ten minute kind of procedure and I felt a little bit better my leg felt a little bit more a little bit more open and comfortable but not a huge profound change I was a little bit disappointed and right at the end when he was wrapping up he said oh I forgot to mention before I started I usually tell people before doing this. Before doing this work on them that this thing can happen called a healing crisis or that some people call a healing crisis that he described it as sometimes you know the pain or whatever the issue is can get worse before it gets better but it could also manifest in this way where in a traumatic event the experience if it's too much for the brain to handle the experience of the memory can get trapped in the tissues and the pain.

20:41And when you do this work sometimes that I think he called it a piece of consciousness or like the memory can be released from the tissue into the brain for the first time so it's like your brain is actually experiencing it for the first time and he was like sorry I usually say that before I do this work and I was like okay whatever you know he was a little bit woo woo about massage. It was a very very good massage therapist but a little bit more woo woo than I am I'm not very woo woo in that area so I was like okay whatever that's cool I didn't think much of it didn't feel that different after the session and then he worked on my classmate as far as I can remember he had a similar experience he didn't feel all that different after and so I went home I didn't really think about it I didn't feel that different after that. I was like I didn't do much but that's fine I thought that if like what he was describing was going to occur it would happen during the session or it would happen shortly after you know like that day or something so I really like it was pretty out of my mind I wasn't thinking about it really at all after that day.

22:09All right we'll be right back after this quick break. This episode is brought to you by Rocket Money. Thinking about my finances used to leave me completely overwhelmed especially when it came to tracking my finances when I have multiple accounts and multiple different credit cards especially old credit cards that I kind of forgot about a credit card that might get stolen without you realizing it unless you had an app like rocket money that just happened to me I noticed it because on rocket money I saw literally 20 to 25 individual transactions at Duncan Donuts in a different state which by the way I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that.

23:37I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do that. My leg felt a little bit better it felt a little bit less tight a little bit less pressure but it was so bad that it was still it was still definitely an issue I wasn't remotely like oh this has been resolved great but I do think it was a little bit better which was cool. I went about my life I didn't have class for a couple days and then one afternoon the day before I went back to school I had therapy online with my like regular therapists we were doing this inner work where there was a lot of imagery coming up for me it's like parts work internal family system so I was like I'm going to be able to do that.

25:06I was seeing in my mind and all my different parts like interacting and feeling a lot in my body sort of like breathing into these different places in my body and having you know these different like emotions come up and talking about that and at the end she says okay take a couple deep breaths and then slowly open your eyes and when I did I normally would feel maybe relax. After a session like this like comfortable calm relax that was normally how I felt after therapy session but I felt really weird I felt very light headed which is not normal for me I don't really ever feel that way. I feel like I was going to pass out I've never passed out like that before I've never fainted it's a very weird sensation for me and I told my therapist because I thought that it might be because of the work that we had been doing maybe that is like a normal thing I don't know but I felt really weird I told my therapist I'm feeling really light headed like I was feeling light headed enough that I felt the need to tell her.

26:28It was really strange and she suggested that I lay down and drink some water and so I did I went to my room I laid down on my back was looking at my ceiling I lived alone at the time so just laying alone in my bed and feeling really faint and off. I started to have little tinges of like sharp pain in my scar which would happen pretty regularly but then the pain started to sort of like drift around my leg it would always just be typically right where I have the scar tissue especially at like this one point in the middle where everything is really really tightened up but it started to get more intense it got really intense. And then I started to have the pain started to like light up in different parts of my leg which had never happened before and I was I was confused I was like I don't understand what that is but then it started to glide around and the way that I remember it or the way that it felt was that it was almost this little ball of light that was like floating around and would like but it was like sharp pain that would like come up in different places floating around.

27:56I was just being gliding around inside my leg and I I don't know I was I was laying there I was really light headed and feeling really faint and that was not a normal feeling for me at all and then I just started crying which was not normally there had like pain all the time I was a landscaper so on top of my leg being mained I also just my back hurt all the time my neck in my arms hurt. I was just crying all the time like everything was always kind of achy and it was normal for me so when I I started crying it was not I I didn't understand what was going on and it was intense and it was like this flood opened up and I was just sobbing like sobbing so hard so loud like wailing the next thing I know I was in the warehouse and I was so happy.

28:56I was seeing through my eyes that day of my accident in the warehouse the moment before I got hit. I was like completely there you know I just done this like therapy session where you do this like inner work with like your unconscious mind and like these images come up for me and it's not like I intentionally like I imagine this like part of me is whatever coming up and this was not what that was. that was. I was like, I was in my body the day of the accident and I was looking through my eyes the day of the accident and I couldn't, I couldn't leave. I was experiencing that day in my body completely, in high definition, in in sharp detail and also aware of what was happening.

29:57It was like another part of me was observing what was happening and aware that I'm laying in my bed right now, crying in pain and also in this place watching the accident and reliving this day, this accident and I can't leave. Like I can't stop it from happening. I can't pull myself out of it the way that I would be able to if I was thinking about it. I was stuck there and I lived the whole thing and over and over again. It would sort of repeat different moments. So I could, you know, the day that it happened or at least in my memory, my, you know, regular memory and the story that I told other people, I didn't hear my friend yelling like trying to warn me, trying to tell me to get out of the way, but I heard it when I was back there, when I was

30:59reliving it. I heard him yell. It was guttural. He was screaming. He was so, so scared. I think that this day was as traumatic for me as it was for him. It was really, really horrible. He had tried to stop the cart with his bare hands from driving away and he just couldn't. Then the moment where I become aware that the cart is right there, comes into my peripheral vision. There's a part of me that's still in this reality where I know what's going to happen, but I feel the panic that I felt in that moment when I didn't know what was going to happen. It would kind of stop there and play that over and over. So when I was reliving it and I was in my body and seeing through those eyes, I was going through the same motions, but it was in slow motion. What I remembered of the day was that it was all happened in a split second of I was aware that the cart was coming at me,

32:04like the moment that it was there, like right next to me. It was like a split second. I did not have time to move at all and then being pinned. I don't even know how long I was stuck there for, but when I was reliving it, it was like in slow motion, I turned my head and I see the cart coming at me and feel the panic spike and it hit me fully aware of like making contact with the edge of this wooden table and being pressed into it and then being stuck there. It was probably a few seconds because there was a lot of people around that came like rescued me, but I relived it in the slow motion of being stuck there, pinned and feeling and hearing the cart running and pushing me and just pushing me harder and harder and harder into this table and being stuck and not being able to move. My friend running up and turning off the cart, he arrived at the

33:12same time as this other person, this woman Laura arrived and they turned off the cart and they somebody came up behind me and like put their arms under my arms and they pulled the cart back and two people on either side of me lifted me up and put me on the seat of the cart, like just lifted me over the front of the cart and sat me on the seat and both of my legs were up on the steering wheel and when I was reliving the accident I saw everyone's face with so much detail. I like looked into the eyes of every single person that was there and I saw in their faces how worried they were about me and how much they cared about me which was not a part of my memory of that situation and I remembered that the guy who had been driving the cart, when it happened I was so

34:19like okay what do we have to do? I was like not like emotional, I was afraid but I was like okay what are like the practical steps that we have to do? I was the one who was like somebody call 911, I need an ambulance and like that not not frantic or emotional and the guy who had been driving the cart came up to me and was like what do you need? And I said I need a cigarette which is hilarious, I was like I need a cigarette and he took the cigarette out of his own mouth and put it in my mouth and I didn't remember that happening and it might sound like gross or weird or stupid to some people but like the way that it hit me in this when I was like reliving this accident like in slow motion, reliving this day in slow motion, how much he just wanted to help me and like almost this like selflessness of literally taking the cigarette out of his own mouth and like giving it to me

35:23and I also saw which I didn't remember at all the way that I told the story to other people so many times in the way that I'd remembered it, I didn't remember that my friend Jesse was there as well, they did that job with me for one summer and I saw them see me from another corner of the warehouse and like run over and I saw all of the love and concern that they had. I just really felt the fact that I was like so surrounded by people that loved and cared about me which I wasn't aware of when it happened or after it happened but I saw that like in the I remember the eyes like I remember like really because it was so slow like really seeing the eyes of like every single person and how worried about me they were and how much they cared about me and I sort of relived

36:25particularly like that part over and over again and while that was happening I was aware some other like part of me or aspect of my like consciousness was aware that it was happening aware of how crazy it was and knew that I like couldn't stop it and that it was fully out of my control and feeling kind of like I don't know what's happening I just have to sort of stay calm and ride it out and I was also this like part of me that was sort of observing like an aware of the whole thing also was like watching me and aware of I don't know if it was like it felt like it was like I was experiencing like three different realities at the same time this like reliving the accident and like watching everything happen and also that I was like laying in my

37:27bed and at that point I was sobbing like really really hard sobbing convulsing uncontrollably and the pain was like going around and I was feeling the pain I felt everything I felt being crushed I felt that all of this tissue of my body was broken and and died and was just like there and the pain of it is so acutely and in my bed laying there crying and feeling the pain like all of the pain of the moment when it happened and I was yelling out for help and saying like it hurts it hurts it hurts please help me over and over and over again which I didn't do at the time like I said I was so practical a matter of fact and like put all of the pain of that experience aside

38:31and was like I'm okay I think that my femur might be broken I'm not sure somebody has to call an ambulance someone please call 911 and of course somebody did and an ambulance came and the medics like tested my foot to make sure they they had me press my foot into their hand to see if my femur was broken it wasn't but yeah I was so practical and detached when it happened and when I was reliving it my body that was like laying in my bed was screaming out for help and screaming that it was that I was in so much pain and that I had like no control over either like I couldn't have stopped if I wanted to and then this other part of me just like observing both realities that was almost like this this calm like grounding thing it's like grounding presence or like feeling and then it just started to slow down eventually I like started breathing better and I wasn't

39:39screaming for help anymore and not crying anymore and it was the part of me that was like living that day over and over and experiencing re-experiencing the accident it just slowly faded away and then I was back in my room and I still had this feeling of like pain but also like like floating around my leg as it had been up and down and like around in this sort of weird pattern but other than that my leg like it felt like it was a part of my body again it felt essentially like completely normal and I had like none of the normal pain and discomfort and like tightness like my whole leg always felt so tight and it just felt normal and it hadn't felt normal in like years I don't know I was like I don't know what the fuck just happened I don't really know what to do now the sun had started to set

40:43which makes me think that it lasted for a couple hours and eventually I laid in bed for a long time just breathing and being like what just happened to me and eventually I got up and I ate some food I think I even went to the gas station and got some ice cream because I really was like I don't know what to do with myself right now and I tried to like watch some TV but I was really I was like totally altered from this I felt completely dumbfounded I have no clue what just happened and it's so bizarre and unexplainable that I'm not even like gonna try to understand like that's why I was like I just have to like get guests go get some ice cream and like try to watch TV but I couldn't I was just speechless and kind of stunned I felt really like present in a way that

41:48I don't normally and really really calm I was also exhausted and I sort of hung out and tried to watch a little bit of TV and eat and I still had this little the feeling floating around my leg that got less and less painful and was just sort of the sensation like floating around and eventually I went to bed and yeah I woke up feeling kind of normal and in my normal mind but I had no pain at all in my body which I was aware of immediately I hadn't not been in pain for years at that point the even weirder thing was that I had like this lightness inside me like in my spirit or in my mood like I felt unburdened emotionally or mentally I had this lightness about me that I felt totally calm I

42:54felt like totally grounded and at peace and I had no pain and I had a lot of joy and once I once this like started to set in I was just filled with like joy and happiness I felt like so good it was towards the end of my massage program so I knew a lot about massage at that point and nothing remotely close to this had ever been talked about or crossed my mind at all like this was not a normal like response to massage therapy or body work that I was aware of remotely so I just felt totally so at peace so calm and that's that was not my normal either you know like I was I had a really difficult childhood my dad died when I was pretty young I struggled with a lot of like mental health

43:55issues and depression and anxiety like constantly since I was a teenager and that was gone like I didn't know what it felt like to not be anxious and depressed so it was like every it was also like foreign to me so I went to school and I was excited to tell the instructor like what had happened and be like what was that like is that normal and tell him all about it and when I got to school I parked in the parking garage and I got in the elevator to go up and then my classmate who had also gotten the treatment got in the elevator and we looked at each other and instantly I knew that he something crazy had happened to him too just by looking at him and we were both we just looked at each other and I think he said how was it for you and I just started laughing and I was like it

45:05was fucking crazy and I started to tell him about it and that I had relived the accident and that I was like crying and sobbing and like screaming for help and like doing all these things that I like hadn't been able to do like when the accident happened and that and that like all the like pain was gone I mean I said all of it like very briefly I don't but he he said yeah mine happened when I was a baby so I don't like have any memories of it but I just I spent two days crying in the fetal position and it was really interesting that he said that because it was clear the way that he said it the way that he said how was it for you and the way that he started with I don't have any memories of mine what it made it clear to me that even though he didn't have memories and maybe he didn't

46:06relive something in the way that I did because he didn't say that he had it was clear to me that he knew that he was on some level experiencing that event from when he was a baby. We went to class and it was the same instructor and I went up to him and I was so excited and I was like oh my god the craziest thing happened and before I could even start talking about it he kind of brushed me off he he was like yeah it can be really crazy and then just kind of like when over to his computer it was like he didn't want to talk to me about it he went over to his computer and just started doing his his teacher stuff and it was like I felt rejected it was so strange it was like I really like I really wanted to talk about it and I just could tell by the way that he responded that he did not and he never asked me about it I was like okay he doesn't I don't

47:12know if he didn't want to talk about it like in front of my classmates or whatever like class hadn't started yet I don't know what that was about and I've never asked but I know that he knows that this happens and for some reason he didn't want to talk about it I don't know why. When I was in the session with my instructor and he said the thing of like a piece of consciousness can get stuck in the tissues and then released into the brain for the first time like I didn't even know what he meant by that you know it was like okay weird woo woo stuff like he was he was really into rakey and I I've received rakey a couple times it's never done anything for me people have really crazy beliefs about rakey and I don't like doubt them because now I've had a really bizarre and unexplainable experience that other people would probably brush off and be like okay

48:13whatever but I don't know I assume that that was some kind of exaggeration or metaphor or something but it felt like exactly what he said and I've never heard anybody else talk about this I've never looked online to see if other people have had this experience or what it's been like for them but the fact that my classmate had a really similar experience made it clear to me that I wasn't making anything up that this is like a real thing that happens and the thing is like it definitely doesn't happen every time either and I think that that's probably why it's not talked about because it's not a reliable outcome at all it seems to just happen even in interviews that I've watched with John Barnes who originated this technique he talks about the fashion how it is like

49:13an overlooked part of the body and people the medical community has kind of just seen it as kind of just nothing like the thing that you have to cut through to get to other things but that it is a continuous system that runs through your whole body that in and around like every little structure in your body and that when there's restrictions in the fashion it can apply and incredible amount of pressure on that one point and how it can affect the rest of the body and it pulls on all these different structures but he never mentioned anything about this healing crisis thing and he certainly knows that it happens you know my instructor knew it happened but I haven't seen him mention it in any of his interviews not that I've done a ton of research but I've never heard him mention it in an interview or something which makes me think that I don't know it seems like a very elusive thing that nobody has real full control over the ability

50:19to like certainly produce in anybody but it happens I try to do it on myself all the time with no results I I haven't gotten it done again because I feel like I mean I kind of tried one time but it didn't work I kind of have this belief that like if I was anticipating it happening or wanting it to happen trying to make it happen that it wouldn't you know what I mean because it's such a like unconscious thing and I'll also say that like I had a lot of doubt about writing and about this because I mean I guess I like even still doubt myself like I have felt self conscious talking about it because not to you know friends and family whatever but in this interview because it would be so easy to be like you were just thinking about it and I just can't stress enough that that is not

51:21what was happening and that I was like my full presence was in that day reliving it in immaculate detail and that I had like no control or real like participation in that it was like happening to me like I didn't do anything to make it happen and there was nothing I could have done to make it stop I graduated from massage school I worked as a massage therapist for a while in New Orleans and then I moved to Massachusetts and I haven't gotten my license here so I haven't been practicing as a friend and family but I am actually planning on moving back to New Orleans where I'll be like starting my practice up again which I'm very excited about and it's still my my goal I am not a person that has had many goals or aspirations in my life and bodywork in general has given me this

52:23sort of hope and motivation to create a future for myself and my ultimate goal is definitely to get trained in this and do other kinds of bodywork as well but it changed my life so profoundly and was truly like the most beautiful and amazing experience I've ever had that I feel like it's necessary for me to to try to pass that on there's a lot of talk about you know there was that book the body keeps the score and there's a lot of talk about somatic stuff and how like our emotions like live in our body maybe as much as they do in our brain but I think that the separation between mind and body is way thinner than we've ever thought it is and I think that eventually like science will continue to prove that more and more as time goes on is what I think but there's certainly like

53:27no explanation for this outside of sort of I think what people who have experienced it like make of it okay thank you so much to Finn for sharing your story this one was so interesting to me for further context phasia has historically been a very overlooked part of the human body that has only recently been gaining more attention the phasia is a network of fibrous connective tissue with no beginning or end that surrounds every structure of your body and provides continuous support not only to your organs muscles and bones but also your nerves joints tendons ligaments and tissues in the past we

54:27have always conceptualized the mind and the body as being two separate things that have their own separate domain over our human function but maybe that's not the case the idea that our tissue can store memory and then be unlocked through massage it's an idea that opens up a lot of questions and has a lot of implications especially when you consider some of the other episodes from this show even that have a lot of similarities to fins I keep thinking about how fins teacher explained that a piece of consciousness can get stuck in the body if it's too much for the mind to handle fins experience felt like a perfect example of how the mind and body are not just in a related but perhaps even emerge from consciousness rather than the other way around this is one of those episodes that gives me hope that as we continue to understand our perceptual experience will we consider now to be paranormal will later be explicitly understood and maybe even just be

55:32considered normal this episode was called the accident and you've been listening to other world other world is executive produced and hosted by myself jack Wagner our producers are theoshafer the okrants haley persin and niki kate del gato our theme song is by koberman the soundtrack of this episode is by wikifays springs eternal juice jackal and north americans our artwork is by cold asac studios please show us your support by subscribing leaving a five star review and telling your friends about the show if you want to hear bonus episodes of other world you can be come up patron at patreon.com slash other world our social media is at other world pod thank you the team at audacie liarie stennis more a current josephina frances aric donnelly hate rose colling gainer and hilly shuff follow and listen to other world now for free on the audacie app or wherever you get your podcasts and finally if you or somebody you know has experienced something

56:37paranormal supernatural or unexplained you can send us your stories at stories at otherworld pod.com you