EPISODE 217

0:00Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I am inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie Do It gaming team take on Gilly DeKing and wallow 267's million dollars gaming in an epic global gaming league video game showdown four rounds multiple games one winner plus a halftime performance by multi platinum artist Trabi McCoy watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo right now at globalgamingly.com that's globalgamingly.com everybody games what does it mean to live a rich life it means brave first leaps tearful goodbyes and everything in between with over 100 years experience navigating the ups and downs of the market and of life your Edward Jones financial advisor will be there to help you move ahead with confidence because with all you've done to find your rich we'll do all we can to help you keep enjoying it Edward Jones member SIPC

1:25there's only two stories today but they're both quite long one of them is a fun story but first the Valentine man you want to interview Jeffrey Kowalsky for a book not a piece I've already drafted a proposal Diane you cover local politics city council zoning disputes this man killed 13 women which is exactly why I need this no one's ever sat down with him not properly he's given one statement through his attorney and that's it he's on death row which means I have a window after the execution there's no story there's just history this isn't a city council meeting Diane this man is dangerous in ways that don't require him to be standing next to you

2:27I know what he is that's why the book matters just be careful all right it's a maximum security prison I'll have guards six feet away I'm not talking about that kind of careful hello miss shelton speaking saw riftkin I represent Jeffrey Kowalsky oh hello you submitted a formal interview request six weeks ago yes my client has agreed to three sessions oh thank you cold water correctional has its own conditions which they'll go over with you when you arrive on my client side you will address him as mr. Kowalsky you will not ask about the specific details of any individual victim unless he volunteers the information first understood I feel obliged to tell you he only

3:27agreed after he saw a photo of you I see you're happy to proceed with the interviews yes all right then I'll send you the details he said to tell you he's looking forward to the conversation thank you when I arrived at the prison they let me to the interview room I set up my recorder and wait it and the shelton yes before we bring mr. Kowalsky in a few things you'll keep the recorder on the table invisible at all times it stays here when you leave we'll check it and return it to you at the front desk each day when you collect your phone if at any point you feel unsafe say the word finished clearly and an officer will enter immediately when you want to leave knock on the door are we clear yes perfectly clear the officer outside will monitor through the window

4:33kowalsky will be cuffed to the table you are not to pass anything to him not a pin not paper nothing understood he was shorter than I expected dark slick-backed hair and piercing green eyes I felt a tinge of fear as soon as I saw him sit hands we'll be watching mr. kowalsky thank you for agreeing to these sessions

5:34all right I'd like to start with your early life your childhood and family background you have a little ink stain sorry there on your right hand index finger oh right I was taking notes while I waited paper and pen hold school you don't entirely trust technology I'd like to talk about your childhood mr. kowalsky your early life your family I'd like to talk about yours this interview is about you here's what I'm prepared to offer for every question I answer I ask one of my own you answer honestly we continue you don't and I ask mr. Rivkin to end the sessions all of them all right you'll answer my questions within reason wonderful ask your first question where did you grow up green view illinois

6:38the kind of place people leave and don't come back to are you close to your mother we speak regularly that's not what I asked it's complicated what was your home life like my father left when I was four my mother did not handle it gracefully do you have a boyfriend miss shelton no did you break up recently that's another question fair enough when you were young were there warning signs cruelty to animals fire starting bed wetting ah the McDonald triad two of the three I'll let you work out which two do you ever feel afraid miss shelton everyone does sometimes that's not an answer yes sometimes I feel afraid what does it feel like when it happens I think that might be

7:38enough for today we still have time I know but that's enough I'll see you tomorrow Diane as I drove home I started having second thoughts about the book so how'd it go fine useful what's he like he likes to be in control I expected that the material is good carol there's a real book here you're going back yes I am as I set up for the second session I told myself this time I won't let him get to me but as soon as he sat down your hair is different softer more feminine it's exactly the same

8:46I'd like to talk about the period leading up to February your state of mind at the time it was valentine's day that's why they call me that name what was happening in your life that February nothing extraordinary that's the truthful answer that's what disturbs people I think they want there to have been a trigger a trauma something to point to hmm there wasn't but something changed that day something had already changed long before that day I just stopped pretending otherwise have you ever been in love miss Shelton once what happened I answered your question they've set the date did you know yes I know

9:51it's a strange thing knowing the date of your death how does it make you feel does my fear interest you miss Shelton are you afraid I asked first yes it interests me it doesn't worry me what frightens me is becoming past tense isn't that the same thing being scared of death is being afraid of not being perhaps I think you're more self-aware than you allow people to see and I think you are lonelier than you allow people to see that's our time only if you want it to be miss Shelton yes you should call your mother more I'm ready to leave the third day final session I'd listen to both recordings the night before

10:58made notes prepared the questions I hadn't got to yet I told myself I was ready if I screwed up today I wouldn't get another chance our last day yeah last day I wanted to cover your time in greenview after your mother remarried the records show you left home at 16 I left because staying had become pointless my sister cried when I went she was eight do you think about her every day do you have siblings no so there's no one at home then when things are difficult just you we agreed questions about my personal life need to be within reason of course but that wasn't really

11:59a question more of an observation the name of the street you live on Calaway isn't it what the building with the black iron railings you tend to walk on the left side of that street heading home I imagine it's habit by now who told you that you had a neighbor until recently an older man you used to check on him occasionally he moved away or perhaps he died I wasn't certain which but you still look at his window sometimes when you pass how do you know that the same way I know your mother's first name is Ruth and that you haven't told her about these interviews tell me how you know this ask me tomorrow there is no tomorrow three sessions that was the arrangement I'm extending an invitation for a fourth call riftkin but don't leave it too long

13:03I'm finished can I have the door please see you next time Diane I said at my desk listening to the interview she lives in Portland now she changed her surname after the trial the name of the street you live on Calaway isn't it what the building with the black iron railings how did he know those things I was desperate to find out but I kept putting off making the call

14:10and eventually it was too late the execution of convicted serial killer Jeffrey Kowalski was carried out this evening at cold water correctional facility Kowalski who was convicted of 13 murders was pronounced dead at 6.14 pm he declined to make a final statement I just sat in the dark listening to the rain and trying to feel whatever it is you're supposed to feel when something like that finally ends hello hi Diane it's Jeffrey now where were we

15:33as the news been getting you down I'm Megan McCartle and I'm here to help I'm the host of a new show from Washington Post opinion called reasonably optimistic and it's an antidote to the pessimism that's riddling America right now every Wednesday I'm going to talk to people who see a path forward does seem to me that there is some awakening of a desire to act together to solve problems where they are you know I am a believer in America and it's worth fighting for join me Wednesdays on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts I was thinking that there are support groups for just the better everything these days so why not this

16:37we'll see you next time right shall we make a start welcome everyone we have a few new faces this week lovely to see you who'd like to go first Vladimir you've been quiet since you came in okay I'll go first I suppose I don't know where to start take your time thank you you there's just a lot at the moment that's all right we can begin with the sleep I I simply cannot drop off until well nearly dawn every night no matter what I try lavender podcasts the weighted blanket nothing works and then I sleep all day obviously that sounds exhausting

17:42then there's the dietary thing it is its own I won't go into it but dinner parties have become look when someone spends hours preparing a meal the last thing they want is me sitting there with just a glass of red and the garlic thing is that still a problem oh please I'd give my eye teeth to eat garlic chili shrimp the invitations have also you know people don't they just don't invite me in anymore last week I stood on my friend's step for 15 minutes in the rain he said he forgot I was there that's not on and the skin the doctor she keeps sending me for tests iron levels she says

18:46vitamin D I know Sandra I know what it is you don't need to send me to the hematologist you mentioned dating apps last session the age gap always comes up always they ask how old you are it becomes a thing I've tried being vague I've tried you know I said older than I look and the conversation just stopped oh you poor thing thank you how are you getting on with you know the reflection I don't want to make it dramatic it's just you never quite see yourself as other see you I know I can always take selfies god knows I've got thousands of them but it's not quite the same is it then there's the bats you don't have to talk

19:52about that I'm not going to I said I wouldn't I just wanted to acknowledge that the bad situation exists and that I am managing it and I would very much appreciate it if Ken did not bring it up again this week I was making conversation you were not making conversation Ken you were pointing let's not Ken did you want to go next I will begin as always by asking and I mean this sincerely not rhetorically is it so very difficult to say my name correctly for thousand years and still my name is Archanem Wasit Merikufo Isit Ebenra is that so difficult to pronounce we'll all try harder are Kenem Wasit it's okay just call me Ken please go on Ken the dehydration has been bad

21:05this week I've been drinking you would not believe how much water and still look at me the shaping is significant I've tried the talcum powder I've tried the moisture wicking sports bandages and yes before Vladimir says anything I said nothing you were thinking it go on Ken I can't explain to people why I need a humidity control room to sleep they just they look at you I am the only one in any building I have ever stayed in the only one with a hydrometer on the bedside table it is very lonely thank you Ken that took courage is Evelyn here I'm here does anyone know I'm right here Evelyn can everyone hear me yes we can hear

22:05you you always say that and then Ken talks over me I cannot help it if your vocal register falls outside my range of hearing it's fine it's fine it's always fine that sort of the whole thing isn't it nobody listens you have no idea I am working constantly just to be audible I rattled every pipe in the east wing last Tuesday every single one do you know what the caretaker said airlock no 30 years I've been rattling those pipes and it's always an airlock that must be very frustrating and the outfit I've been wearing this same pantsuit since 1987 I had such nice things I had this yellow dress I used to wear in summer the shoulder pads in this blazer are hideous they aren't even fashionable in a fun retro way they're just hideous we've talked

23:14about acceptance Evelyn I can walk through walls did I mention that I can walk through actual walls and I still cannot figure out the television remote I've tried everything I just have to wait until someone decides they want to watch something last night I got halfway through the bachelor and then Trevor switched it over to football sometimes it's just too much I know I can just go and watch TV somewhere else but it's not the same you get used to your own home and in the street people just they walk straight through me that one never gets easier you'd think it would it doesn't we see you Evelyn um Margaret how was your week where do I begin the arthritis still it doesn't go away Gary

24:23I'm sorry go on the arthritis is for the craft a disaster do you have any idea the precision required the finger work alone I attempted a moderate hexing on Wednesday moderate nothing elaborate and I had to stop halfway through and now Derek from number 42 is only partially inconvenienced what did Derek do he parks on the verge that would annoy me too and the cat situation continues 17,000 followers can you believe it she does nothing she sits she sleeps she gets likes for knocking things off the coffee table I have been a practicing witch

25:32for 63 years and nightshade has 17,000 followers because she sits in a beam of sunlight and blinks slowly it might be worth staying off social media for a while Frank do you want to yes Frank talk now the metal detectors yes every time mm every time airport museum shopping center and then explaining the explaining is hard sorry can everyone make sure your phones are off please thank you please continue I forget where

26:36I was what would you want people to understand that my neck bolts are not decorative nobody thinks they're decorative Frank Marcus did Marcus is not perceptive anything else he's short as well I meant I meant Frank and we don't body shame here the shirts I found an x x x large last week it was not large enough shirt tear oh that sounds awful there were ducks by the lake I had bread they were for a moment not afraid you don't have to do this and then there was a child who screamed and then all the ducks were gone I still have

27:40bread oh Frank that's not right we hear you Frank thank you right how about one of our new faces calum would you like to yeah okay I'll start with the field take your time I awake up in a field naked every time every single time do you have any idea how cold it gets in a field this time of the year just out there nothing the walk home is I've done it enough now that I know the shortcuts which is it's something I suppose silver lining no pun intended in the mornings after the guilt is just awful there's this feeling every time

28:44like something happened and you can't I don't like to think about it that's all right my neighbors Sandra and Phil from next door they've started leaving notes about the howling but what am I supposed to say sorry Sandra it's the dog and I try not to think about what I've been eating we're not here to judge I know I know I just I went vegetarian last month I really committed to it but it doesn't take it not take every month every full moon there's this moment where you know it's coming and you start to feel it in your hands first these sort of cramps

29:45and then your spine your spine starts to it's like every vertebrae is trying to be somewhere else and your fingers the joints the knuckles they stretch and they split and you can feel you can feel the bones moving inside your own hands pulling apart from each other and then your jaw your jaw starts to go changing shape as new teeth force their way through your gums denies the sound of it and then you're in so it's tear it pulls and rips at your guts and you're aware through all of it that's the worst you're completely aware as your own body rearranges itself from the inside

30:55the pain is immeasurable ooh thank you calum so shall we have coffee yes coffee good idea frank like coffee can someone make me one two please you don't have a body everland did I mention the shoes every time I buy a new pair I chew them up so expensive monologue this time

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33:09life it means brave first leaps tearful goodbyes and everything in between with over 100 years experience navigating the ups and downs of the market and of life your edward jones financial advisor will be there to help you move ahead with confidence because with all you've done to find your rich we'll do all we can to help you keep enjoying it edward jones member s-i-p-c