Episode 255: Jillian Turecki: The #1 Reason Why Dating Is So Hard These Days

We've all experienced it: the gut-wrenching pain of a heartbreak and the eventual struggle to understand the dynamics of relationships.  In this episode of Habits and Hustle, we dive deep into the intricacies of relationships, discussing everything from the psychology behind relationship patterns to the role of stress, selfishness, and fear of rejection with Jillian Turecki. Jillian enlightened us with her distinctive insights on topics such as the reality of soulmates and the idea that a long-term relationship requires continuous choices. We also took a hard look at trauma bonds, anxious attachment, and the importance of becoming radically self-aware to break destructive cycles. This conversation was not just intellectual but also deeply personal, as it drew from Jillian's experiences and expertise. Finally, we shifted our focus to some of the more nuanced aspects of relationships. We ruminated on gender differences in emotional connections with sex, pondered over the concept of safety for women due to their vulnerability, and tackled the vexing issue of lost attraction in an otherwise fulfilling relationship.  Jillian Turecki is a certified relationship coach, teacher and writer who for 20 years has taught others how to transform their relationships with themselves. Under the tutelage of Tony Robbins and world renowned family therapist Cloe Madanes, Jillian is certified by the Robbins Madanes Center for Strategic Intervention. Fueled by an insatiable curiosity about what makes a relationship thrive, Jillian has helped thousands through her teaching and writing revolutionize their relationship with themselves so that they transform their relationships with others.  What we discuss: (0:00:01) - How did Jillian becoming a relationship coach? (0:11:02) - Are our relationship expectations realistic or selfish? (0:22:47) - How to break bad relationship patterns (0:33:35) - Busting myths about relationships (0:40:30) - How important is emotional connection in sex? Key Takeaways: There’s no such thing as one soulmate. People come into our lives for various reasons and not everyone who feels like a soulmate is. Not everything is meant to be a life story. Some people come into our lives to wake us up. Some people come into our lives to help us through a period of time. Some people come into our lives to show us some adventure.  If you lose attraction towards a partner, you have to understand why. A couple can bring it back if they understand the why and they work on the why. And especially if there was once a lot of attraction in the beginning. It is something that typically can be resurrected as long as the other things are sort of rectified and worked on.  We learn about our attachment styles and we learn about what we're experiencing on the attachment spectrum, based on who we are relating to. And it's also very dependent on what else is going on in our lives. For example, if we're going through a very difficult time in our lives, we might become more anxiously attached to someone because we think on a subconscious level that this person is going to rescue us and is going to make it all better.  Learn more about Jillian: Website: https://www.jillianturecki.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/B4smb80j8Am/ Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049?ls=1&itscg=30200&itsct=qcode_podcasts&at=1001l36mQ&ct=JOL-Chartable My links: Website: https://www.jennifercohen.com/ Instagram: @therealjencohen