Episode 538: High Performing Women and Why They Lose Attraction in Relationships When They Lead

I have to talk about something that I saw that I was so excited to bring up on this podcast.

I saw this video where this woman was saying that women need men that are better than

them who are smarter than them, more successful than them, fitter than them, more inspiring

than them, more of everything, and the reason is because that's what we would naturally

be attracted to.

I've got to tell you something, I actually totally agree with her, 100%, like I believe

like a guy has to be alpha, double alpha, or else I will eat him for breakfast and that's

just the way it's going to be.

And when I was watching this, I thought to myself, wow, this is probably one of the most

controversial videos, or it probably would be a really controversial video because of

the time we're living in.

Wait, really?

I think so, because it kind of feels like it's like how people thought 50 years ago or

100 years ago.

Yeah.

But I think that we're living in a time that we're unable to say what we say things that

we don't actually really believe in our heads, or that's actually really human nature.

But the truth of the matter is, it's 100% true.

I do want a guy who is better than me, who is smarter, fitter, faster, stronger, taller,

more inspiring, more successful, richer, I mean, all the things, right?

I don't want to be the one that is superior because it's hard for me to like be attracted

to someone who I feel I'm more dominating in some way to them.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, I know.

I totally get that.

I mean, especially I think like the stronger, I could never imagine being with a guy that's

literally weaker than me.

I can only bend for just 75 pounds, like if you can't do that, that's just craziness.

Okay.

I think the exercise thing aside, I think it's overall, and I think that people say otherwise,

they're like, they're lying to themselves.

This bullshit, like what girl wants to be with a guy who is weaker, who's weaker, less

successful, less inspiring, who is like all the things, you know, like, who is less fit?

I mean, I don't know.

I think we are, as we're like, we're animals, and as animals, we are animalistic and have

needs, and we are automatically drawn to like a stronger, like a woman is drawn to a stronger

sex.

It's just how it is.

When I'm with a guy, or not now, I guess, but when I used to be, I guess.

Back in your dating.

Back in my dating life.

No, I remember like, even now, like what am I even talking about, like in real life now,

even like, I find like so many men aren't even men, like actually kind of like sad and

pathetic.

Like, the pool of people that I see some of my friends having to deal with, I'm like,

oh my god, that is so unattractive, like they're like weak.

I mean, it's just like they're weak, and they're just like not manly, they don't take

any initiative, they don't take any control.

Like, I guess I am like a more of an alpha girl, right?

So especially if you're an alpha girl, you need a guy who's double alpha, or at least

alpha.

And so that's just, and even if you're not an alpha girl, even girls who are beta or

kappa or whatever you want to call it, delta gamma, delta gamma.

Like I don't know any girl, I don't know any girl, any woman, any female who is attracted

to someone who they can walk all over and who is like, who has no spine and all that.

Like, they may, they may decide and choose to be with them because it's easier, right?

And it's the path of least resistance, and they do it because they can.

But don't lie to yourself or lie to me and say like, you're hot for that person because

there's no freaking way you are.

Period.

That's my opinion.

Now you can tell me yours.

No, I mean, I think I agree for the most part.

I obviously there's like new ones to every situation, but I just can never imagine.

I think the only category in which I could see myself giving a little like leewayness

would be in the sort of financial success category, just because I want to be a billionaire.

Now I cannot only dream of dating, why?

I can't.

For example, so here, let me give you an example on like the outcome and not doing something

that can make you that way by doing the work to get there.

There's not all over time.

I was talking to dating guys.

No, you're sick.

I want to be ex.

Right.

So I'm saying, but also in realistic expectations.

Okay.

But hold on.

Let me finish my sentence.

You're not.

That's absolutely not even the point of what I'm saying.

Okay, fine.

I'm saying I would, I consider myself to someone who's aspiring for crazy aspirations when

it comes to success financially and also in career, right?

Now if my guy that I'm dating doesn't want to be a billionaire, but they want to be

a millionaire, for example, and they are moving towards that direction.

They're motivated.

They're inspired.

They're constantly working.

They have that grit to them where they're successful.

And they don't make me feel like I'm the wealthier one in the relationship.

They still pay for things.

They still support me.

They still make me feel like the woman.

Then I'm okay with that.

But I don't necessarily agree with that one.

I agree with that one.

I agree with that.

Like I think that's the only area where there's, I just said that there's new ones.

I'm not disagreeing with you.

No, I agree with everything you said.

I just said that there's new ones and I'm just adding to the layer.

I actually agree with that.

I think it's a great thing here.

I think that it's not, so it's not about the money.

It's more about like the earth, like smart earth, fit to earth, stronger, whatever it is.

I just think that a lot of times when you are a successful woman and have a lot of those

things going for you because you are fit and you are smart and you are successful, you

know, the pools of men get smaller and smaller to pick from because there's a piece of it

that's like a lot of guys are intimidated by that or the woman gives off too much

alpha male energy where it's not even a turn on for the guy.

So there's, okay, that component becomes very difficult.

So what I really feel is that when a guy is all those things more than the girl, it

quiets down that girl's alpha energy.

100%.

And that's what happens.

The girl's alpha energy comes out more when she's around some a guy that doesn't have

it and can't bring it when she, right?

So like it brings out their mask right.

So when I have a guy around me who is like way more masculine and super like super alpha,

I automatically just, but not on purpose subconsciously.

I end up not cowering like like like like like a week, like a week, like a week bird,

you know, you do.

I feel more feminine.

I feel more of a girl.

I feel much more like a little girl and every girl wants to feel like a little girl.

They don't want to feel like they're like taking over and though, I guess those girls

who do feel that way, well, then all the power to you, you know, God bless you.

But the majority of us, the majority of women who are just like doing well and strong

and smart and fit and blah, blah, blah, we want the guy to be way better or we will eat

you for breakfast and snack.

So that's just how it works.

But I really wish that guys understood that concept.

Like because I feel like if they did, they would understand that when they're presented

with a woman who's maybe a little bit more masculine, if that guy were to just assert themselves

more, that would allow the woman to be able to enter feminine anymore.

And I think guys don't understand that dynamic as much.

And so they immediately think, oh, well, she's just a masculine, more intense female.

And then they think to themselves, oh, well, she's got this.

I guess I don't have to be like, I can just be a bit more beta.

But I think if they understood that a lot of those really intense women who are power,

you know, just powerhouses who are working, who are crushing it, they actually can be

really feminine females within their relationship dynamics.

They just need to be given that shot and they need to be with someone who can present

that more masculine kind of vibe.

Right.

But the guy has to have enough real inner confidence to even like do that to actually show

that and be that as opposed to going the opposite.

Listen, I'm not going to lie to you.

There's a lot of women eye me who are like super like have like have a who are successful

who have like a really a really strong male energy and it is a turn off, right?

But I'm saying for the majority, for the most of us, like people who are not like in

the 0.1 percentile of like super super successful, crazy powerhouses, I'm saying I'm saying

the majority of people, majority of women who are whoever and on the scale of whatever

that what they are what we need, we are looking for someone who who is better than us.

We need men who are better than us, like I said, smarter than us, fitter than us, all

of the urge of us, you know, and it's just what we naturally will gravitate to.

And like again, you can't fake that stuff, either you have it or you don't, right?

So this is not about like people like being, you know, kind of like pounding their chest

and pretending, it's the ones who actually are those things.

Yeah.

So, you know, that's really how I feel.

It's interesting, you know the joke about how women can ever decide where they want to

eat.

Yeah, that's me.

Yeah, so it was so funny about that scenario is that I just think the joke could be non-existent

if guys understood that sometimes we just don't want to have to decide things.

We're constantly faced with a ton of decisions and in some scenarios, I think like just handle

it.

Just handle it.

Like you know what I like?

You've been out to eat many times before.

You know what my vibe is?

Just fucking pick something else.

So, that's a great point and that's what I guess that's really at the end of the day

what I was even getting to because I just want someone to like handle shit.

Yeah.

If I'm handling all this shit all the time, I want someone else to be like, you know,

I got this.

I don't have to handle stuff and trust me, that like changes the entire dynamic of the relationship.

If I don't have to like take control, trust me, I don't want to take control.

Like I'm taking control in enough areas of my life.

I don't want to be taking control in every single area and if someone can like alleviate

some of that for me, oh my God.

It is the biggest turn on in my like for me.

I love that shit.

Yeah.

Me too.

So, that's all.

Let me know what you think.

Leave me a comment and for someone who thinks that I'm out of my mind crazy or whatever,

let me know that too because I like to hear from you and what you think.