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I'm Dr. O'Brien, Tararban, and this is Cycax and Better Living Through Psychology.
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And the topic of today's short talk is turning it around.
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So there will be times in your life when it seems like nothing is going your way.
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Sometimes it's weeks, sometimes it's months, sometimes man, it feels like years.
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It's like life is personally out to get you, and it's nothing but frustration and failure
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Maybe you're in one of those times, or maybe you know someone who is in one of those times.
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Today, I'm going to teach you how to get out of this situation, so either say this one
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for a rainy day, or send it to someone who needs to hear it now.
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The longer I live, the more I appreciate that so much of human action depends on inertia
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The longer something remains inactive, ineffective, or unmoving, the harder it is to change.
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A inertia is like a swamp or wet cement.
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It's why habits are so difficult to change.
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There are potentially decades worth of inertia encasing them.
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So it's going to take a great deal of force to affect even a negligible shift.
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On the other hand, the longer something remains active, effective, or moving, the harder
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Momentum is like an avalanche or an onslaught.
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It's why some people seem unfazed by setbacks.
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No one's life is a graph that just goes up and to the right.
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But if you have enough momentum, then you can kind of plow through those tough times.
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They might slow you down a bit.
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But your momentum will generally carry you through to your next win.
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From a physical standpoint, inertia and momentum are two sides of the same coin.
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The greater an object's inertia, the more force is required to get it moving, and the greater
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it's momentum, the more force is required to get it to stop.
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You can kind of think of both as the force required to change something's direction.
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Now when things aren't going your way, it's easy to get mired in inertia.
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And the longer things don't go your way, the more that inertia is subject to accumulating.
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This affects your perception, your memory, your emotions.
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It becomes increasingly difficult to stay motivated, to stay hopeful, to do things that
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on some level, you know you need to do to get yourself out of that rut.
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However, this makes it all the more necessary to affect the change in direction and to do
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so sooner, as opposed to later.
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The way out of inertia is the generation of momentum.
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Momentum is generated through wins.
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When you do something well, when you achieve something, when your situation is improved,
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I'd like you to consider that all of these wins contain varying degrees of force.
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And force, when it accumulates, can produce momentum and hence movement, a change in direction.
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More momentum equates to more confidence, more forcefulness, and more hopefulness, as
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you progress through life.
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The issue is that when you're mired in inertia, big, significant wins, the type that can
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generate momentum in an instant, just seem utterly unattainable.
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Given your current state, those wins could just as well as be on Mars for all their perceived
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accessibility, which of course can make you feel even more powerless and hopeless about
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But there is a solution.
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If you're interested in taking your understanding to the next level, I would encourage you to
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check out the captain's quarters, my members only self-improvement community.
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Your monthly membership will get you access to a cadre of like-minded, supportive individuals,
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buy monthly group consultation sessions hosted by yours truly, and exclusive content that
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you won't find anywhere else.
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With the link in the description for more information, hope to see you aboard.
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Here's what we're going to do.
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If you find yourself mired in inertia, we're going to temporarily reduce your threshold
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In some cases, if you're really stuck, we'll reduce that threshold to like the smallest
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quantum of achievement.
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We're talking about behaviors that, on some level, you cannot fail to accomplish and
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certainly behaviors that no one can prevent you from accomplishing, meaning that the
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locus of control for the behavior resides entirely in you.
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What might that look like?
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Well, if you're in a really bad place, we're going to need to shrink that threshold down
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as much as possible.
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You changed your clothes.
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You brushed your teeth.
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You get what I'm saying?
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Now in the beginning, this might feel strange, even a little pathetic.
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But you have to understand that it's all relative.
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Like getting out of bed, changing your clothes and brushing your teeth would be huge accomplishments
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if you had a spinal cord injury.
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Know what I'm saying?
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That judgmentalism, that contempt prior to investigation, is really just a cognitive
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defense in the service of the inertia.
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It's an aspect of the inertia, and so it really can't be trusted.
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It's not going to be like this forever, but you've got to be willing to be at least temporarily
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Step two is to acknowledge when you've accomplished something.
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You have to do it for yourself.
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Give yourself some recognition.
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Like, say it out loud.
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Literally, patch yourself on the back.
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Know what else is going to do it?
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So you've got to do it, okay?
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And of course, in the beginning, this is going to feel foreign and alien.
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But the more you do this kind of self-affirmation, the more you'll actually start to believe it.
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And it helps to counteract the feeling that all the good you do remains utterly invisible
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and in consequential.
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It isn't, but you might be the first and for a time only person to recognize it.
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The idea here is to create wind chains or successive winds over time.
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This is how you generate momentum.
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Reduce the threshold of accomplishment and boom!
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Maybe you get like ten winds in a day.
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That's pretty fucking good, especially compared to the previous day when you maybe got zero
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It's about taking control of your perception so that you can generate emotional momentum
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Of course, you won't stay at this level forever.
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As you start to feel movement, as you start to feel better, you gradually increase the
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threshold of achievement.
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So in a week, the accomplishments look different.
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You applied for that job?
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You cooked a healthy meal.
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You took a tour of the local gym?
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Recognize them, acknowledge them, give yourself a pat on the back.
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You still might be the only one affirming these winds, but trust me, people start to notice
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as the winds get bigger.
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Right now, it might be good that other people aren't noticing as you may not really be at
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You know what I'm saying?
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Don't worry about it.
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Ideally, once you get the hang of this, you'll be constantly titrating your threshold
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of accomplishment so that you're always achieving more than not in your perception.
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Like, I still do this today and every day of my life.
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Some days the winds are big, some days the winds are small, but I keep changing the
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size of the winds to ensure that I keep my winds streak alive.
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And that's how you generate and maintain momentum.
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It's how you kind of pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get yourself out of a
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Because if you're a man, no one's going to do it for you.
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Form your inertia into momentum and get moving.
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Accumulate enough momentum and you'll eventually become a force of nature.
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Does this fit with your own experience?
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Let me know in the comments below.
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And please, as I said at the top of the episode, send this to someone who you think might
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benefit from its message.
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I know you know someone who might be struggling right now because it's word of mouth referrals
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like this that really help to make the channel grow.
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Other value propositions, anyone looking to join my free weekly newsletter for which
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I write original content, no AI, or book a paid one-on-one consultation with yours truly
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can find out more information on my website.
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There are also my books, the value of others, my best-selling examination of the sexual marketplace,
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and Starry Night, my novel about the final weeks in Painter Vincent Van Gogh's life.
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Finally, there is my private member community, The Captains' Quarters, where you get direct
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access to me and my network of awesome professional YouTuber friends.
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It's a great crowd.
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Check it out if you're at all interested, a lot of value there.
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Stuff I can't say on YouTube.
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I can say behind the scenes.
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Thank you so much for your support, appreciate it, and thank you for listening.