Episode 83 - TSP | Part 9 - That I May Be Reasonably Happy + Song "The Serenity Prayer"

0:00so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. You know that word reasonably? We could miss that word if we were not careful, but it might be one of the most honest and freeing words in the entire prayer because it speaks directly to something we all struggle with. Expectations. If my expectations are too high, I'm going to live disappointed. If they're too low, I stop hoping. But when they're reasonable, I start living in peace. The Bible says, for I say, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think soberly. Romans 12, 3, that word soberly means clear, grounded, realistic. And that's what this is about, seeing life clearly. Welcome to Pastors in Recovery. A podcast dedicated to ministry leaders and pastors navigating the challenges of their own hurts, hang-ups, and habits. Hosted by John Hammond, a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and a pastor on the road of recovery. This space is here to

1:00remind you that God's grace is bigger than any struggle. Each episode brings real stories of redemption, practical tools for healing, and encouragement rooted in Christ's promise of renewal. You don't have to walk this journey alone. Let's explore how God meets us in our brokenness and brings light to our darkest moments. Welcome to the conversation. Because life is not perfect. You get married thinking it's going to be constant joy and then you realize two imperfect people are learning out of love each other. You buy something, it breaks. You trust someone, they let you down. You follow God and life still gets hard. Jesus didn't hide that. John 1633, in the world you shall have tribulation. That's not negative. That's just being honest. And here's where we struggle. We still expect something different. We think if I follow God, things should get easier, right? If I'm doing the right things, why is it still so hard? And when that doesn't happen, we get discouraged. Sometimes even disappointed with God. But God

2:04never promised a perfect life. He promised his presence in a broken one. I will never leave the nor forsake the Hebrews 13.5. There have been times in my own life where I've said, God, I'm trying. I'm showing up. I'm doing the right things. So why does this still feel heavy? And if I'm honest, there's a part of me that thinks, should this be going smoother right now? But that expectation, that's where the problem is. Because God didn't promise smooth. He promised himself. These things I've spoken to you that in me, you might have peace. John 1633. Not in circumstances, but peace in him. This really hit me hard when I start thinking about my kids. When you have your first child, you get all these hopes and dreams. You say things like,

3:08they're never gonna have sugar. We're gonna do this perfectly. And then it doesn't take very long. Grandpa gives them ice cream as a baby and your perfect plan is gone. And then the second child comes along and you start to realize, okay, maybe we don't need to try quite that hard. By the third, you've adjusted even more and you're starting to understand reality. And then for me, there was a 10 year gap and we brought in more kids. And something had to change in me. My older kids would say, Dad, how come you're so much more relaxed with the younger ones? And I remember thinking, by the time number six came along, I had to let go of needing everything to be perfect. I just had this peace. She's gonna be okay. Not because everything would go perfectly, but because I understood something I didn't understand before. But then there's the other side. Now my older kids are adults and they've made choices. So I'm proud of, and some, if I'm honest,

4:14I have been disappointing. And that's where this becomes real. Because I don't control that anymore. I can't fix it. I can't force it and I can't live a their life for them. And that loss of control, that's where the phrase comes alive. Reasonably happy. Because if happiness depends on everything turning out exactly how I want, I won't have peace. But when I accept, they're gonna make their own choices, their own journey. And now I can still have peace. Not because everything is perfect, but because I've let go of what was never mind to control. Now imagine a pastor pours us hard into a message all week. He studies, he prays, he prepares, and Sunday comes. He delivers the message faithfully. And afterwards a few people thank him, but a few people don't say anything. One person is critical and another leaves the church. He goes home, sits down, and he thinks, was that even effective?

5:18Am I doing this right? Why does this feel so hard? He expected that obedience would feel more rewarding. Or imagine a pastor who's been praying for his marriage, praying for his kids, praying for a breakthrough, and nothing seems to change. And quietly he starts to wonder, God, where are you? Now here's the moment. If his expectation is, things should be better by now, he's going to feel discouraged. But if he understands, this is life, and God is still with me, then something shifts. We are troubled on every side yet not distressed, perplexed, but not in despair. Second Corinthians 4.8. That's reasonable happiness. Not the absence of struggle, but the presence of God in it. And this connects so deeply to recovery. Before recovery,

6:20no awareness, no tools, just reaction. After recovery, you recognize patterns, you have tools, you can back up faster, not perfect, but changed. My grace is sufficient for the, for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Second Corinthians 12.9. So being reasonably happy means I accept that life will still have pain, but I'm not destroyed by it. And here's the great reversal. Here's where we get it backwards. We try to be supremely happy now. We want everything to feel right now. Everything to finally work out today. But the prayer says no. Be reasonably happy now. And supremely happy later. Second Corinthians 4.17. For light, our light affliction, which is but for a moment,

7:26worketh for us a far more exceeding internal weight of glory. That's eternity. That's where everything is made right. No more struggle, no more addiction, no more disappointment. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes. Revelation 214. So that's where the supremely happy comes in. Not here, but it is coming. And pastors, this matters so much because pastors are communicators. They don't just live this. They teach it. They help people understand what life really is and who God really is. Because if we promise people a perfect life, they'll walk away when it doesn't happen. But if we point them to a faithful God, they'll learn to stand even when life is hard. You know, over these past couple months, we've been walking through the entire serenity prayer line by line, word by word. And my hope is that this hasn't just been something you listen to, but something that has deep

8:28in your understanding and your appreciation of this incredible prayer. Because for me, this prayer has helped me so many times. When I didn't know what to do, when life felt overwhelming, when I needed perspective, I've come back to this prayer again and again. And I would have really encouraged you to memorize it. Let it become a part of you because there will be moments in your life where you're going to need it, where you won't have the time to think everything through. But if this prayer is in you, it'll guide you. So if I can learn to live reasonably happy in this life, then I don't have to be shaken every time life doesn't go my way. Because I know this isn't the end of the story. One day, I really will be supremely happy. Not because everything worked out here, but because I'm with him there. And until that day, he's with me now. And that's enough. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can

9:52and the wisdom to know the difference. Live in one day at a time. Enjoy in one moment at a time, accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will. Taking as Jesus did this sinful world. Give me peace to face the storm that comes my way.

10:54Strength to rise when I can't see the light of day. Help me change the things that I can do. And teach me, Lord, to trust the rest to you. Oh, give me faith that never fades away. A heart that learns to rest. Not run away. A wisdom to know when to fight or bend. And love to hold me till the very end. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.

11:58And love, you know what's best for me. I'll be still in your for So as we close today, I want to leave you with the entire serenity prayer, not rushed. Not as something you've heard a hundred times, but as something you can really hear now and everything we walk through together. And maybe as I read it, you just sit with it. Let it settle in. Let God speak to you through it. The serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity. To accept the things I cannot change, the courage, the change of things I can. And the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting

13:05hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did this simple world as it is and not as I would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will. So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next. Amen. As we close today, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to listen and for being part of this community. If this episode encouraged you, helped you or made you feel less alone, I want to invite you to subscribe and leave a comment. That small step really does help this podcast reach other pastors who need it. If you'd like to support pastors and recovery, you can give using the link in the podcast description. This $2 a month makes a real difference in the lives of other pastors who are walking through recovery and need encouragement. You can also

14:06listen to music created specifically for this podcast by searching for crashing lyrics on Spotify, Apple Music or other music platforms. All episodes of pastors and recovery are available on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also visit us at passesandrecovery.com where you'll find episodes, music and additional resources. We do this podcast for one reason to remind pastors they are not alone that healing is possible and that God is still at work, even in recovery. Thanks for listening and remember recovery is possible.