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so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.
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You know that word reasonably? We could miss that word if we were not careful,
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but it might be one of the most honest and freeing words in the entire prayer because it speaks
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directly to something we all struggle with. Expectations. If my expectations are too high,
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I'm going to live disappointed. If they're too low, I stop hoping. But when they're reasonable,
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I start living in peace. The Bible says, for I say, not to think of himself more highly than
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he ought to think, but to think soberly. Romans 12, 3, that word soberly means clear, grounded,
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realistic. And that's what this is about, seeing life clearly.
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Welcome to Pastors in Recovery. A podcast dedicated to ministry leaders and pastors
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navigating the challenges of their own hurts, hang-ups, and habits. Hosted by John Hammond,
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a grateful believer in Jesus Christ and a pastor on the road of recovery. This space is here to
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remind you that God's grace is bigger than any struggle. Each episode brings real stories of
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redemption, practical tools for healing, and encouragement rooted in Christ's promise of renewal.
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You don't have to walk this journey alone. Let's explore how God meets us in our brokenness and
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brings light to our darkest moments. Welcome to the conversation.
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Because life is not perfect. You get married thinking it's going to be constant joy and then you
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realize two imperfect people are learning out of love each other. You buy something, it breaks.
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You trust someone, they let you down. You follow God and life still gets hard. Jesus didn't hide
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that. John 1633, in the world you shall have tribulation. That's not negative. That's just being
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honest. And here's where we struggle. We still expect something different. We think if I follow
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God, things should get easier, right? If I'm doing the right things, why is it still so hard?
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And when that doesn't happen, we get discouraged. Sometimes even disappointed with God. But God
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never promised a perfect life. He promised his presence in a broken one.
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I will never leave the nor forsake the Hebrews 13.5. There have been times in my own life where I've
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said, God, I'm trying. I'm showing up. I'm doing the right things. So why does this still feel heavy?
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And if I'm honest, there's a part of me that thinks, should this be going smoother right now?
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But that expectation, that's where the problem is. Because God didn't promise smooth. He promised
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himself. These things I've spoken to you that in me, you might have peace. John 1633.
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Not in circumstances, but peace in him. This really hit me hard when I start thinking about my kids.
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When you have your first child, you get all these hopes and dreams. You say things like,
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they're never gonna have sugar. We're gonna do this perfectly.
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And then it doesn't take very long. Grandpa gives them ice cream as a baby and your perfect plan
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is gone. And then the second child comes along and you start to realize, okay, maybe we don't
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need to try quite that hard. By the third, you've adjusted even more and you're starting to understand
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reality. And then for me, there was a 10 year gap and we brought in more kids. And something had
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to change in me. My older kids would say, Dad, how come you're so much more relaxed with the younger
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ones? And I remember thinking, by the time number six came along, I had to let go of needing everything
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to be perfect. I just had this peace. She's gonna be okay. Not because everything would go perfectly,
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but because I understood something I didn't understand before. But then there's the other side.
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Now my older kids are adults and they've made choices. So I'm proud of, and some, if I'm honest,
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I have been disappointing. And that's where this becomes real. Because I don't control that anymore.
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I can't fix it. I can't force it and I can't live a their life for them. And that loss of control,
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that's where the phrase comes alive. Reasonably happy. Because if happiness depends on everything
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turning out exactly how I want, I won't have peace. But when I accept, they're gonna make their own
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choices, their own journey. And now I can still have peace. Not because everything is perfect,
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but because I've let go of what was never mind to control. Now imagine a pastor pours us hard into
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a message all week. He studies, he prays, he prepares, and Sunday comes. He delivers the message
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faithfully. And afterwards a few people thank him, but a few people don't say anything. One person is
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critical and another leaves the church. He goes home, sits down, and he thinks, was that even effective?
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Am I doing this right? Why does this feel so hard? He expected that obedience would feel more
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rewarding. Or imagine a pastor who's been praying for his marriage, praying for his kids,
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praying for a breakthrough, and nothing seems to change. And quietly he starts to wonder, God,
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where are you? Now here's the moment. If his expectation is, things should be better by now,
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he's going to feel discouraged. But if he understands, this is life, and God is still with me,
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then something shifts. We are troubled on every side yet not distressed,
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perplexed, but not in despair. Second Corinthians 4.8. That's reasonable happiness. Not the absence
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of struggle, but the presence of God in it. And this connects so deeply to recovery. Before recovery,
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no awareness, no tools, just reaction. After recovery, you recognize patterns, you have tools,
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you can back up faster, not perfect, but changed. My grace is sufficient for the, for my strength is
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made perfect in weakness. Second Corinthians 12.9. So being reasonably happy means I accept that
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life will still have pain, but I'm not destroyed by it. And here's the great reversal. Here's where
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we get it backwards. We try to be supremely happy now. We want everything to feel right now.
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Everything to finally work out today. But the prayer says no. Be reasonably happy now. And supremely
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happy later. Second Corinthians 4.17. For light, our light affliction, which is but for a moment,
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worketh for us a far more exceeding internal weight of glory. That's eternity. That's where everything
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is made right. No more struggle, no more addiction, no more disappointment. And God shall wipe away
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all tears from their eyes. Revelation 214. So that's where the supremely happy comes in. Not here,
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but it is coming. And pastors, this matters so much because pastors are communicators. They don't
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just live this. They teach it. They help people understand what life really is and who God really is.
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Because if we promise people a perfect life, they'll walk away when it doesn't happen. But if we
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point them to a faithful God, they'll learn to stand even when life is hard. You know, over these
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past couple months, we've been walking through the entire serenity prayer line by line, word by word.
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And my hope is that this hasn't just been something you listen to, but something that has deep
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in your understanding and your appreciation of this incredible prayer. Because for me, this prayer
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has helped me so many times. When I didn't know what to do, when life felt overwhelming, when I
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needed perspective, I've come back to this prayer again and again. And I would have really
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encouraged you to memorize it. Let it become a part of you because there will be moments in your
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life where you're going to need it, where you won't have the time to think everything through. But if
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this prayer is in you, it'll guide you. So if I can learn to live reasonably happy in this life,
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then I don't have to be shaken every time life doesn't go my way. Because I know this isn't the
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end of the story. One day, I really will be supremely happy. Not because everything worked out here,
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but because I'm with him there. And until that day, he's with me now. And that's enough.
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God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can
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and the wisdom to know the difference. Live in one day at a time. Enjoy in one moment at a time,
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accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is,
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not as I would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will.
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Taking as Jesus did this sinful world. Give me peace to face the storm that comes my way.
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Strength to rise when I can't see the light of day. Help me change the things that I can do.
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And teach me, Lord, to trust the rest to you.
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Oh, give me faith that never fades away. A heart that learns to rest. Not run away.
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A wisdom to know when to fight or bend. And love to hold me till the very end.
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So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.
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And love, you know what's best for me. I'll be still in your
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So as we close today, I want to leave you with the entire serenity prayer, not rushed.
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Not as something you've heard a hundred times, but as something you can really hear now and
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everything we walk through together. And maybe as I read it, you just sit with it. Let it settle
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in. Let God speak to you through it. The serenity prayer. God grant me the serenity.
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To accept the things I cannot change, the courage, the change of things I can. And the wisdom
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to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time, accepting
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hardship as the pathway to peace. Taking as Jesus did this simple world as it is and not as I
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would have it. Trusting that you will make all things right if I surrender to your will.
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So that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with you forever in the next.
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As we close today, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for taking the time to listen and for
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being part of this community. If this episode encouraged you, helped you or made you feel less alone,
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I want to invite you to subscribe and leave a comment. That small step really does help this
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podcast reach other pastors who need it. If you'd like to support pastors and recovery, you can give
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using the link in the podcast description. This $2 a month makes a real difference in the
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lives of other pastors who are walking through recovery and need encouragement. You can also
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listen to music created specifically for this podcast by searching for crashing lyrics on Spotify,
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Apple Music or other music platforms. All episodes of pastors and recovery are available on YouTube,
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Spotify, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts. You can also visit us at
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passesandrecovery.com where you'll find episodes, music and additional resources. We do this
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podcast for one reason to remind pastors they are not alone that healing is possible and that
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God is still at work, even in recovery. Thanks for listening and remember recovery is possible.