ESL Podcast 233 – Asking for a Date

#ESL Podcast 233 – Asking for a Date

##GLOSSARY

**to admit –** to say that something is true even if one doesn’t want to; to confess

*Last week, one of the football player on the championship team admitted that

he had used illegal drugs to build stronger muscles.

**player –** a man who dates a lot of women, often at the same time

*Those guys are such players! They hang out in bars nearly every weekend

trying to get women’s phone numbers.

**attractive –** pretty; nice-looking

*Renee is very attractive. She has long beautiful black hair and green eyes.

**to break up with (someone) –** to end a romantic relationship with someone

*Clint wants to break up with his girlfriend, but he doesn’t know how to do it

without hurting her feelings.

**geez –** an expression used to express surprise or confusion

*Geez, are you still working? It’s almost midnight!

**to go for a drink –** to go to a bar or restaurant to drink an alcoholic beverage,

such as beer or wine

*After the concert, they went for a drink at that expensive new restaurant near

the concert hall.

**Do you mind if I join you? –** May I accompany you? Would it bother (annoy)

you if I joined you in what you’re doing?

*I heard that you’re going to the movies tonight. Do you mind if I join you?

**to try (one’s) luck –** to do something, knowing that it may not work; to try to do

something, hoping that it will be successful, but not being sure of it

*The company wanted to hire someone with 10 years of experience and I only

had three, but I decided to try my luck and apply for the job anyway.

**to depend on (something/someone) –** to be controlled or determined by

something or someone else

*We’d like to buy a new car, but that depends on whether we’re able to save

enough money.

**to go for –** to choose; to select

*If I had to choose between a vacation in Asia or Europe, I’d probably go for

Asia, because I’ve always wanted to visit India.

**I’d like to get to know you better –** I want to learn more about you; I want to

know you better; I’d like to become your friend (or maybe a boyfriend or

girlfriend)

*Pierre said he’d like to get to know me better, so we’re having dinner together

this Friday.

**here’s my number –** here’s my phone number; an expression used when giving

someone one’s phone number written down on a piece of paper

*A beautiful woman walked up to Alberto at the party and said, “Here’s my

number. Call me.” He was so happy that he couldn’t stop smiling for hours.

**charm –** the power to attract other people and make them feel comfortable

*Marjorie has such wonderful charm. Everyone loves spending time with her.

**flattery –** the use of words that other people want to hear, even if they aren’t

true; saying things to make other people feel good about themselves, so that one

can get what one wants from them

*Mike always uses flattery when his wife is angry. He thinks that if he says that

he likes her hair or dress, she’ll stop being mad at him.

**irresistible –** impossible to deny; impossible to say no to

*Carina is on a diet, but she never loses weight because chocolate cake is

irresistible for her.

##COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. Why does Liam ask Debra to go on a date?

a) He feels bad that she broke up with her boyfriend.

b) He thinks she is attractive and wants to spend time with her.

c) He needs someone to go to the art show with him.

2. Liam tells Monica that he *“just moved to this area”* because:

a) He wants to ask for directions to the grocery store.

b) He wants to know where the good restaurants are.

c) He wants to give her directions to his house.

##WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

player

The word *“player,”* in this podcast, means a man who dates a lot of women, often

at the same time. For example, “If I had known he was a player, I never would

have agreed to go on a date with him.” A *“player”* is also a person who plays a

sport or a game: *“Basketball players are usually very tall.”* A *“player”* can also be

someone who plays a musical instrument: “The piano player knew all of our

favorite songs.” A *“player”* is also a business or a person who is a leader in

business or politics: *“Microsoft is a key player in the computer industry.”* Finally,

a *“player”* is an electronic machine that plays music or video, such as a record

player or a DVD player: “He bought a new CD player for his car after the old one

was stolen.”

to go for

In this podcast, the phrasal verb *“to go for”* means to select something or to

choose something: *“I’m so thirsty! I could really go for a large glass of water.”*

*“To go for it”* means to try to be successful at something, usually something that

may be difficult: “People have always told me that I’m too short to be a

professional dancer, but my teacher convinced me to go for it.” Another similar

phrasal verb *“to go into (something)”* means to join an organization, especially if

it’s related to one’s career: “He went into the army when he was 18 years old,

and now he’s a captain.” The phrasal verb *“to go on about (something)”* means

to talk about something for a long time, usually while complaining or boring the

listener: “Denzel was so boring at the party! He just went on and on about his job

and he didn’t let anyone else talk.”

##CULTURE NOTE

It’s very common to go on *“dates”* or informal meetings to try to find a romantic

partner. However, for many people, it’s difficult to meet people to ask for a date,

either because they are too busy or because they feel uncomfortable talking to

strangers. Because of this, some companies and organizations offer “dating

services” to help busy or shy people find dates.

*“Speed dating”* is popular, especially in large cities. In speed dating, many

*“single”* (unmarried people) are in a large room for one hour, often during their

lunch break. The room has many small tables, each with two chairs. Normally,

the women remain seated and the men move to a new table every five minutes.

Each *“pair”* (two people) talks for five minutes and, if the man and woman like

each other, they exchange phone numbers. Then the men move to the next

table. Speed dating allows single people to meet many people in a short amount

of time.

There are also many volunteer organizations that organize projects for unmarried

people to do together. Projects could include cleaning up a park, painting a

school, or playing with sick children. The participants feel good about what

they’re doing, and at the same time, they meet other unmarried people who have

similar interests. Similarly, churches have *“singles groups”* where unmarried

people study the Bible together or other religious topics while learning about

each other.

Some people dislike using these kinds of dating services and they prefer to have

their friends help them find a date. Friends may arrange a *“blind date”* for them.

This is when two people who don’t know each other meet, usually in a public

place, such as a restaurant or a cafe. These dates can be *“awkward”* and the

man or woman may feel uncomfortable, but sometimes they help people find

their *“true love”* or the person with whom they want to spend the rest of their life.

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – b; 2 – c

##COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to number 233: Asking for a

Date.

This is episode 233. I'm your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development in

beautiful Los Angeles, California.

Remember to visit our website at eslpod.com. You can find there a complete

Learning Guide for this episode. This is a ten page - eight to ten page guide that

includes all of the vocabulary words, definitions, sample sentences for each of

the vocabulary words we talk about, cultural notes, additional information about

some words we don't talk about on the podcast and a complete transcript of this

episode.

Our episode is called *“Asking for a Date.”* Let's go!

[start of story]

I admit it. I’m a player. I work in an office where there are a lot of attractive

women. Take Debra, for example. I heard that she just broke up with her

boyfriend last week so I decided to ask her out.

Liam: Hi, Debra. How’s it going?

Debra: Okay, I guess. How about you?

Liam: I’m doing okay. You know, I’m going to an art show this Saturday. Would

you like to come with me?

Debra: Geez, I’m pretty busy this weekend.

Liam: That’s too bad. How about going for a drink after work today?

Debra: Well, I don’t know...

Liam: Come on. It’ll be fun and we can try that new place down the street.

Debra: I guess that’ll be okay, but just a drink, right?

Liam: That’s all and I promise I won’t even try to buy you dinner.

Debra: [laughs] Okay, then. I’ll see you after work.

I ask women out wherever I see them, even ones I’ve never met before. At a

restaurant, if I see a woman eating by herself, I usually say: “I just hate eating

alone. Do you mind if I join you?” The other day, I saw a woman at the grocery

store and tried my luck.

Liam: Hi.

Monica: Hi.

Liam: I’ve just moved to this area and was wondering if you could recommend a

good restaurant around here.

Monica: That depends on what kind of food you like. There’s a good Italian

restaurant on Elm Street, or there’s a good Thai place on Lyndon Avenue.

Liam: Which one do you prefer?

Monica: I like them both, but I’d probably go for the Italian place.

Liam: In that case, would you like to join me for dinner sometime?

Monica: I’m not sure. I don’t even know you.

Liam: You’re right, but you seem really nice and I’d like to get to know you

better. What do you say?

Monica: Well, maybe. Here’s my number. Call me and we’ll talk about it.

Liam: I’ll do that. I’m looking forward to talking with you again.

It’s as easy as that. I don’t try to be a player. All it takes is a little charm and a

little flattery, and women will find you irresistible.

[end of story]

Our dialogue in this episode is all about dating, and we have a man, Liam and

two different women, Debra and Monica. We watch Liam try to get dates with

these different women.

Liam begins by saying, *“I admit it. I’m a player.”* To admit, *“admit,”* something

means to say something is true even if you don't want to say it. It's like

confessing something. Well, what Liam is confessing here is that he's *“a player.”*

Player, *“player,”* is an informal expression or informal word that means a man

who dates a lot of women, usually at the same time, often without the other

women knowing that you are dating more than one woman. So, Liam says he's

*“a player,”* just like me!

He says, *“I work in an office where there are a lot of attractive women.”*

Attractive, *“attractive,”* means pretty or good looking. He says, “Take Debra, for

example,” meaning let's start talking about Debra as an example. He says, “I

heard that she just broke up with her boyfriend.” To break up with someone

means to end a romantic relationship - to stop a romantic relationship. This

happens here in Hollywood, here in Los Angeles, all the time among celebrities

and stars. So, to break up with someone means to end your relationship.

Liam then starts talking to Debra, he says, *“Hi, Debra. How’s it going?”* She

says, *“Okay.”* What about you - *“How about you?”* Liam says he's *“doing okay.”*

He says he's *“going to an art show”* on Saturday. An art show would be a show

looking at pictures or paintings. Of course, Liam is trying to impress Debra -

make Debra think that he is a very cultured person.

He asks Debra if she would like to come with him, and Debra says, “Geez, I’m

pretty busy this weekend.” This is what the women always used to tell me when I

asked them out on a date! The expression geez, *“geez,”* is one we use to

express surprise, or perhaps confusion. Well, Debra is perhaps a little surprised

and she says that she's *“busy this weekend.”*

Then Liam, who, of course as a player, tries to get women to date him, goes on

to say, *“That’s too bad. How about going for a drink after work today?”* To go for

a drink means to go have an alcoholic beverage or a soda, maybe a beer, with

someone in a bar. And Debra says, *“Well, I don’t know,”* and Liam starts to try to

convince her; he says, “Oh, come on. It’ll be fun and we can try that new place

down the street.”

Debra finally says, *“I guess that’ll be okay, but just a drink, right,”* meaning they're

just going to have a drink, more or less as friends, nothing serious.

Liam, lying of course, says, “That’s all and I promise I won’t even try to buy you

dinner.” To buy someone dinner - for a man to buy a woman dinner is usually a

sign that he wants to date that woman.

Liam goes on to talk about how asks women out - he asks them to go on a date

with him. To ask someone out is to ask them to go on a date. He says he asks

them out whenever he sees them, even ones he's *“never met before.”* He then

goes on to say that when he's at a restaurant and he sees “a woman eating by

herself,” he'll say to her, *“Do you mind if I join you,”* meaning is it okay that I sit

down with you - will it bother you?

He says, *“The other day,”* meaning in a recent day - recently, “I saw a woman at

the grocery store and I tried my luck.” To try your luck at something is to do

something even if you know it may not be successful - even if you know it may

not work. To try your luck - you hope you are successful.

Liam, of course, begins by simply saying, *“Hi”* to this woman. The woman,

Monica, says, *“Hi,”* and then he, again, probably lying - probably not telling the

truth - says, *“ I’ve just moved to this area”* - I've just moved to this part of the city -

*“and was wondering if you could recommend a good restaurant around here.”* Of

course, what Liam is doing here, as all men know, is trying to start a conversation

and trying to find an excuse to talk to this woman.

Monica says, *“That depends on what kind of food you like.”* The expression that

depends on, means that is determined by or that would be influenced by

someone or something else. So, she's saying here, well, there may be good

restaurants, but it depends on the restaurant - the kind of restaurant that you like.

She then says, *“There’s a good Italian restaurant,”* and there's also “a good Thai

place.” Thai, *“Thai,”* refers to Thailand - the country - and Thai food is very

popular in many large cities, like Los Angeles

Liam says, *“Which one do you prefer?”* Which one do you like? And Monica

says, *“I like them both, but I’d probably go for the Italian place.”* To go for, here,

means to choose or to select. It also has other meanings, this expression, to go

for. If you look at the Learning Guide, you will see some additional meanings for

this expression, but here it means to select.

Liam, says, *“In that case, would you like to join me for dinner sometime?”* Liam

is what we would call very smooth. To be smooth, *“smooth,”* if you're a man

means that you have a certain talent about getting women to go on dates with

you, or to say the right thing so they will go on a date with you.

Monica says, *“I’m not sure. I don’t even know you.”* Remember, they're at a

grocery store. Liam says, “You’re right, but you seem really nice and I’d like to

get to know you better,” meaning I'd like to find out more about you. “What do

you say?” What do you say here means what do you think - what is your

decision? Monica says, “Well, maybe. Here’s my number. Call me and we’ll talk

about it.” Here’s my number means here is my telephone number.

Liam says, *“I’ll do that. I’m looking forward to talking to you again.”* He ends the

story by saying that *“It’s as easy as that,”* meaning it's very simple; you just have

to do what he did. He says he doesn't *“try to be a player. All it takes,”* he says -

all that is necessary - all that you need - “All it takes is a little charm and a little

flattery, and the women will find you irresistible.”

A little charm, *“charm,”* means the power to attract other people - to make them

feel comfortable. If we say about a person, *“He's very charming,”* we mean that

other people like him - he has a good way of relating to other people - talking to

other people. Flattery, *“flattery,”* are words that you use - things that you say to

someone else to compliment them - to make them feel good about themselves.

What Liam is saying here is that if you have a little charm, and if you can give

women some flattery, they *“will find you irresistible.”* To be irresistible means that

it is impossible for them to say no - for someone to deny. If a person is

irresistible, you mean that the women will have to say yes because they can't say

no.

Now let's listen to the dialogue, this time at a native rate of speech.