Face Severe Pressure and Hardship Without Succumbing to Panic or Anxiety - Gaylyn Williams

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And now for the topic of the week, anxiety.

In today's fast paced overworked world, stress is all around us.

The economy, finances, raising children, health, job, school, family, or lack of it, elderly

parents, divorce, tragedy, debt, death, social media, wars in rumors of wars, governments,

and conflict.

Now I'm feeling major anxiety.

I need an expert in the mix.

Gay Lynn Williams has written 42 bucks and done training for missionaries, ministries

and churches around the world.

She was a missionary with Wycliffe Bible translators for 16 years and the navigators for

three years before starting relationship resources in 1999.

She rates books and does training nationally and internationally empowering churches, ministries

and missionaries in their relationship with God, themselves, and others, including stress

management.

She also lives in Israel part of the time each year, ministering to the believers there

and equipping Christians to understand God's heart for Israel here in the States.

Let's talk about anxiety with Gay Lynn Williams, president of relationship resources.

How you doing today?

What's happening?

Oh, hello.

It's so good to be on here with you.

Oh my gosh.

It's so funny.

You got to see firsthand.

I think you're the guest that has the record with five more minutes.

Wait, I'm sending you a link in five minutes and I think it sent that to you about 25 times.

And I was having anxiety well up.

You know, anxiety was welling up and then I'm like, I wonder what topic we're doing.

Oh, it's on anxiety.

Um, you tell us you live part of the year in Israel and part here in the States.

Why is it that you live in both spots?

Well, I always wanted to go live in Israel.

I always wanted to go to Israel.

And then after I went there the first time for only six days, I was training missionaries

in Jordan and only had six days to go to Israel.

And, and after that, I had, it's one place I wanted to go.

So in 2016, I went with a group from Mozambique, a group of 11 of us.

Oh, wow.

We were there for 42.

And at that time, I knew that I wanted to live there as much as I could.

If I could live there full time, I would, but I haven't figured out a good way to get a visa

that doesn't where I can do what God's calling me to do.

So I love being there.

Can you hide in a cave somewhere or would they find you and kick you out of the country?

Well, I wouldn't want to overstate my visa because then the next time I want to come back,

then they wouldn't let me in.

So I would say stay there.

There's got to be a way where you can just stay there.

I'll come visit.

We can shoot some episodes together.

Just travel where Jesus traveled.

We have a whole different TV show here.

Well, but what about my family?

What about my children and grandchildren?

Yeah, that's why I don't have that.

We got to just ship everybody over there.

Anyway, it is a fantastic place to go visit for sure.

We went to my husband and I about seven years ago now.

It was so wild to me because growing up as a kid, you're reading scripture

and you're like, how did Jesus get from there to there in three hours?

Then you go there and you realize, oh, they're literally a half a mile apart.

Like Israel is a smaller country.

It just brought everything to life.

All the major questions I had regarding geography and location and distance.

And it just all poof, you know, like it just made sense when I got there.

So anybody turning into this, we're not talking about Israel today.

But go check it out.

That's all I got to say.

Just check it out and we'll put links around this episode for a great place to start.

Take your kids this summer mission trip, but fantastic place to go.

You have three sons and one who died at six months.

We're going to talk about that.

So thank you for coming on the show today to be Ron real on the topic of anxiety, stress, everybody.

It seems like every day is dealing with either one of those.

You started parenting a solo when your sons were four and ten.

What was the like for you raising sons in your own?

It was a challenge, but honestly, it was easier than being married and raising them.

And there's a long story, but it was being a single mom was a challenge.

Being a mom has been one of the greatest highlights of my life.

I mean, I've done all sorts of things.

I've trained people all over the world written books.

I've traveled.

I've done all kinds of stuff, but I'd love to be in a mom, even with all the challenges of being a single mom.

Unreal.

So if anyone knows, stress and anxiety well, even from what you shared the little bit right there with you being a single parent,

and going through the horrificness of your marriage at that time and wanting to protect your kids,

is that what caused you to want to help other people with stress and anxiety over the years?

Because you have a fantastic book we're going to talk about.

I don't want them to know your title yet because it's awesome.

Great idea there.

But is that what caused you to say, hey, hang on a second.

I really want to help other people that are stressed and full of anxiety because I went through it?

Well, I've been through a lot of other stressful things too.

So I don't know that I can necessarily say it was specifically because of raising the boys, but that I'm sure that did have something to do with it.

And I started using the principles that, and we've trained a network of like 50,000, well, it's probably over 100,000.

But I just say 50,000 because we lost track in these skills, and I've seen lives just turned around,

but I've also seen the skills work in my own life.

So that's why I've wanted to make them available to others, to share more and more because they've helped me,

because there's been so many stressful things in my life.

I mean, including we talked about going, being in Israel, it just is stressful being in Israel even before the war.

Before the war, it was still stressful.

Can you go through, and then we're going to get into some critical questions here that are just phenomenal that listener is going to love what you're going to be discussing today.

Can you go through your personal experience? What are some other bullet points just like you can totally list them off if you'd like?

You raised your kids on your own for the most part. What other things happened to you that were really catastrophic or stressful anxiety-ridden times in your life?

Well, I was after quite a few years after I went through the divorce, and you know, there was a lot of anxiety and stress in that.

Then I met an amazing man, and we were engaged to be married, and he was killed a month before we were supposed to get married.

So that was huge. Another thing backing up in between my two sons that are living, I had a second son.

My second son only lived for six months.

What happened?

Well, you know, we didn't know at first.

When he was a month old, they figured out there was something wrong with his brain that it was smaller than normal, but they didn't know how that would affect him.

And then when he was three months, the doctor told us that he had six to 12 months left to live.

Oh, my gosh.

That was honestly very amazingly a turning point for me, because up till that point, I had been just so stressed and anxious and upset.

And like, why is this happening to me?

You know, I'm serving God. I'm a missionary. Why, you know, and all those kinds of questions.

And at that point, and I still remember exactly everything about the doctor's office where we were sitting when she told us, because when she said those words, it's like something clicked in me, and God flooded me with just an amazing joy and peace.

And part of it is that I realized I've been trusting the doctors and believing that they would be able to heal him.

And he went through six surgeries, had like 25 pediatric specialists, and they couldn't do anything, but God.

So, yes, so we prayed. We had thousands of people around the world with Wycliffe praying for him.

And what was amazing is that at the moment that he died, we were praying for his healing.

At the moment that he died, my very first thought was he's healed.

It wasn't how I wanted it. Believe me, it wasn't how I wanted it.

But he's perfect. He didn't have to go through so much of the difficult things that the rest of us did.

I am so sorry that you lost him. And then a month before you're about to get married to the man of your dreams, he passed away. How did he pass away?

He was killed on his motorcycle.

You have gone through a ton in your life that typically five different people experience one of those things. If even one of those things you've gone through a lot.

We come back from commercial break. We're going to find out what you're doing today to help so many people.

Talk about your book, all the tips you've got when it comes to dealing with anxiety and stress.

More with Galin right after this.

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You have literally had a lot of anxiety written in the background 24 seven running situations that you were dealing with on top of just the normal day to day activities of keeping the house clean and organizing the kids and helping with their school.

And your job and ministry. So let's look at that for a second and talk a little bit more in detail about how did you get through these very hard times when you were full of anxiety and stress to get you through it.

Well, it's all come back to my relationship with the Lord and just spending time with him and it's been interesting because God has given me songs at the most difficult times of my life.

Like when my son was dying on he gave me the song that turned your eyes upon Jesus look full in his wonderful face and I'm sure you all know that and the things of earth will grow strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace.

And just sometimes I think I would sing that 40 or 50 times until I really could take my eyes off of the problem because I did have a very real problem.

And so it was just daily spending that time with the Lord in the word in praise and worship and getting to know him and yes.

Thank you for jumping on the program today. I don't know what else to say because you have gone through a lot.

This next question you are the right person to be asking this to most people look at stress as this stress situations they actually face.

But don't understand what things cause them to feel overstressed.

How do anxiety and stress impact moms and their kids specifically?

Well this is two different questions in a way.

I mean it just does. I mean how do they each person is different in how they allow anxiety and stress to affect them.

And part of it is where we focus.

But part of it is what we come into that situation with.

So it's more than just a stress situation.

It's the junk from the things from within us that have not been resolved like our expectations.

And those can be expectations towards God ourselves others are the situation.

They can be bad attitudes towards those same categories God ourselves and others.

But they can also be sore spots that where we have had trauma or pain and we haven't yet dealt with them.

But things like fear, resentment, rejection, shame, bitterness, anxiety, guilt, all of those they make the new stress situation that we go into.

Whatever the stress situation we are in.

Seem much bigger than it is.

Yes.

So let's say someone is starting to feel very stressed out.

That anxiety redden overstressed.

And people turning in right now you know what I'm talking about when you know that you are in that scenario.

We don't have to ask for the red flags of this.

Let's say they're starting to feel like that.

What should we immediately start to do?

Pray, read scripture.

Should we go in our view.

This is nuts.

But literally when I had four young kids and there was a lot of things happening in our marriage and life and work.

We had a really, really hard first 15 years of marriage.

And I remember sometimes 9, 10 o'clock at night jumping in my truck and going somewhere far from many homes and just screaming and crying.

And I mean sometimes loud like just getting it out.

I don't know if that was the right therapy or not.

It seemed to help.

I would cry out to God, but I would be loud.

What are some things that we can do if we start to feel overstressed to help us get through that?

Well, part of it is figuring out what is stressing you because it's probably more than what you realize.

So like the first thing that I do when I take people through managing stress is to have them write out everything that's stressing them.

Including all the internal stress that we just talked about a few minutes ago with expectations, attitudes and sore spots.

But then we each have to figure out what is it that helps us because we're all different.

God created all of us different.

And so for you, it helped to get in your car and just scream for someone else.

It might be to go hide in your closet somewhere and just spend a few minutes quiet or maybe it's in your bathroom where you can lock the door.

But we each need to just figure out what that is but focusing, putting our focus on to the Lord.

And off of our problems because when we're focused on the problems, then they can just get bigger and bigger and bigger.

But when we focus on the Lord, then the problems can seem to shrink.

They may not go away, but they seem to shrink.

And I think another big thing too is if you're currently in a situation where it's not getting better or it continues to happen,

I absolutely think that you need to reach out to friends, a pastor, counselor, trusted family member, by get the help you need so you're not spiraling downward.

And who knows what could happen as a result if you don't get the help you need when you need it.

And I wish looking back that I would have done a couple of steps quicker, faster, better, longer to do what I could do to fix, curb or enhance better.

The situation that I was in, I'm talking the first couple years of motherhood.

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So to manage our stress, you wrote a fantastic book that God said, get the pen on paper and make it happen.

And I love the title of your book.

Everybody out there, you got to check gay lens book out immediately.

It's titled all stressed up and everywhere to go.

And that is causing people out of stress, going to be in 20 places at once.

So all stressed up and everywhere to go, solutions to de-stressing your life and recovering your sanity.

On Amazon, this book is five star. Tell us what's in it.

Well, it takes people through, first of all, understanding what stress is and how it affects us.

And then through six key skills that people need to implement in order to deal with their stress.

And then there's a whole section, well, there's a section on burnout to figure out if you're in burnout.

And then there's a big section on margin, which margin is like the white space around the sheet of paper.

We need to have that margin.

So we're not using every bit of our energy, every bit of our time, every bit of our money.

And then there's a whole lot of other Bible study things in there.

It's loaded. And also your website and people are going to be flooding your direction for everything you've shared today, Ron Real.

Everybody check out RelationshipResources.org.

And they have free e-books found on RelationshipResources.org along with about the ministry training, the Israel connection, press a lot of blogs that are written.

You can donate to the cause. And of course, contact Galen right here through her website, RelationshipResources.org.

Galen, it was amazing having on the program today.

Everybody out there watch all four episodes as we dissect anxiety on the counterculture mom show and send it to someone who stressed.

Maybe even send it to yourself and watch it a second time.

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Thank you for coming on the program today. You rock. I feel less stressed already.

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