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About this Episode
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Transcript
My bear is next to the house really the only coffee in the world where your father says so and your father knows this.
Yes, it's father knows this transcribed Hollywood starring Robert Young as father.
A half hour visit with your neighbor, the Anderson, robbed to you by America's fabled coffee Maxwell House,
the coffee that's always good to the last drop.
Have you heard of the wonderful one horse, Shay, that was built in such a logical way it ran a hundred years to a day?
And then of a sudden it, ah, but stay, I'll tell you what happened without delay.
Well, of course, it hasn't been a hundred years since the Anderson's bought their car, but you get the general idea.
In Springfield in the driveway, besides the white frame house on Maple Street, the Anderson chariot is getting quite a going over like this.
I don't care what you say father, it is a wreck and you know it.
Is that so? For your information, Betty, they don't build cars like this anymore.
They don't build covered wagons either.
Oh, ah, nothing bad, I was just thinking.
He said they didn't build covered wagons either.
Oh, he did, did he?
Okay, Kathy, just you wait.
But if you find the car so objectionable, we can arrange for you not to be annoyed with it any longer on Thursday nights.
Oh, I didn't mean that dad, I think it's fine.
Well, I don't, and I don't even want to borrow it anymore.
Good, I'll keep that in mind.
Look at it, the paint all worn off, the upholstery all faded.
You know that's the trouble with you kids, you don't look beneath the surface.
That's where your value is.
Do you know there's 30% more metal in this car than in any 1950 model on the road?
There is, huh?
There certainly is.
You see this body panel?
It's a little banged up, I admit that.
But listen to it.
That's solid.
That's good, honest, metal.
Dad, ours today aren't built that way, none of them.
They sound tinny and cheap.
Dad, have you seen the fenders they're putting on the new cars just like paper mache?
Dad.
But on this car?
Well, listen to this.
Gosh, Dad, I was trying to tell you.
I don't know.
Why do things like this always happen to me?
Daddy, why don't you not spend your off the car?
Kathy, you'd better be quiet if you know what's good for you.
Jim, I'm ready to leave anytime you are.
That's fine, Margaret.
Just fine.
But you'll find a basket with a bunch on the kitchen table, so why don't you?
Jim, what on earth did you do to the car?
I didn't do anything to the car, Margaret.
Daddy, not to spend your off.
Did no such thing.
All I did was give it one or two little taps.
Jim, Mr. Gilhausen said it wasn't going to last.
Mr. Gilhausen, that crook he doesn't know anymore about fixing a car than Kathy does.
I didn't do anything.
Charges me $7.80 to put a fender back on and doesn't even use a good grade of Scotch tape.
You want me to get the sandwiches, Mom?
Read the sandwiches alone, bud.
We can't go to a church picnic or any place else until we get the car fix.
We can put the fender on with wire, Dad.
It didn't look too bad the last time.
All right, go get the wire.
I think there's a whole bunch of it in the garage.
Mr. Gilhausen, a fine mechanic he turned out to be.
Father.
He's a butcher, that's what he is.
Anybody who can't put a fender on, so it stays poor.
Father, may I please have a take us to the picnic?
You certainly may not.
But father, Mr. Lakers said I could ride with them.
Oh, he did, did he?
It will be their hours before you.
You're going with us or you aren't going at all.
But father.
There you are, bud.
I can't. Happy got the wire all tangled up.
Oh, I did not.
There's a roll on top of the workbench.
Bud, bring that.
Okay.
Father, I certainly think.
Betty, you're going in our car or you aren't going.
Now that's fine.
Oh, poo.
Yeah.
Don't you think you're being a little severe?
Betty wants to spend more time with Jenny Lakers, also.
It isn't that she's ashamed to be seen in our car.
Is it Betty?
It certainly is.
That old heap.
You see Margaret, she's ashamed of us.
She's too good to ride in our car.
I'm not too good.
But that isn't even a car.
Just a bunch of old bolts held together with bobby pins.
Why are that?
Betty, that car is good enough for me.
And if it's good enough for me, it's good enough for my family.
Is that clear?
Here's the wire, dad.
Anytime you think that you're better than the rest of us,
we'll just do something about it.
And let's not forget it.
Here's the wire, dad.
I heard you, bud.
How did I know?
Sounds like your needle was stuck.
Here's the wire, dad.
Here's the wire, dad.
Kathy, be quiet.
T. Will.
Bud, I'll hold a fender in place and you wire it together.
Okay, dad.
Jim, I know what Betty had in mind.
She was only thinking of our good.
Wouldn't you, Betty?
Oh, sure.
They're going to have a drawing for a new car.
Someone isn't there.
Someone will be there, Margaret.
We'll all be there.
Not that we'd ever be lucky enough to win a new car.
Hold the fender up a little higher, dad.
How's that?
Okay.
I've been going to church picnic since I was four years old.
And the only people who ever win new cars are old ladies of 90
who wouldn't be caught dead with anything but a horse and buggy.
Father, if they pick our number and we aren't there...
They'll be there.
Now stop worrying about it.
How's it going, bud?
I think it's almost finished.
Betty, go in and get the lunch.
All right, father.
And lock the door on the way off.
Yes, father.
I think that's as good as I can do, dad.
Hmm.
Well, it seems firm enough.
I wouldn't lean on it too hard.
It falls us to the way on the inside.
Well, it'll certainly last until we get home.
And believe me, I'll give that Jillhausen character
a piece of my mind tomorrow morning.
Hurry up, Betty. We're ready to leave.
Be right there.
I'll get the motor warmed up while we're waiting.
Want me to do it, dad?
No, I'm perfectly capable of starting my own car.
Now what's gotten into this miserable wreck?
Bang on the dashboard, dad.
Sometimes that does it.
I did bang on the dashboard.
Just cold, that's all.
Is this all of it, mother?
Yes, dear, thank you.
No good.
Jim.
But...
Jump up and down on the bumper a few times.
Okay.
What's wrong with the car?
It won't side again.
Be quiet, Cassie, please.
Well, whoa, will it?
Try it now, dad.
God!
Yes, dad.
Jiggle the wire on the distributor.
Okay.
I never saw it to fail.
The car runs like a dream, except when you need it.
Oh, mother, there's Janie Liggard.
What am I going to tell him?
Well, you just have to tell him?
Yes, father.
What time is the drawing for the new car?
I don't know, father.
But if we aren't there...
Well, we'll be there, but just in case it takes us a while to get started.
Well, here.
You take the tickets and go ahead with the ligage.
Oh, father.
We should happen to win the car.
Well, go ahead.
We'll meet you out there.
I'm coming.
Goodbye, everybody.
See you later.
Daddy, be careful, daddy.
Daddy.
Yes, Cassie?
I don't mind riding in your car.
Thank you, Cassie.
I'm ready.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.
Daddy.
What is it, bud?
There's a pencil stuck in the distributor.
I know.
That's to keep the wire in.
Well, the pencil's in, but the wire's out.
But fix it.
That's why it won't start.
OK.
I knew it wasn't anything important,
just to lose wire.
That's all.
It's all set, dad.
OK.
Stand back.
I'll try it again.
OK.
See?
All right, everybody.
Let's go.
Put the hood down, bud.
OK.
Let it down easy, so it won't shake the pencil loose.
OK.
Come on, Margaret.
What are you and Cassie waiting for?
Daddy.
What is it, Cassie?
We've got a flat tire.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
There must be some way of keeping that fender on.
We'll be there in a minute, dear, and then you can fix it properly.
What do you mean properly?
How can you fix a fender properly with those silly hunks of wire?
It isn't a wire that's spaking, dad.
Peaches are coming out of the fender.
It only fell off three times.
I know how many times it fell off.
I know what's the matter with it.
I don't know how to fix it.
That's all.
Daddy, there's a fishnet.
Where?
Right over there.
Dad, look out.
What?
There's a bug.
It goes again.
That makes four times.
Oh.
Pedal sticks.
Cassie, why don't you run ahead and find Betty?
Okay, mommy.
I'll see if anybody knows who won the car.
Come on, bud.
Let's take another whack at it.
I don't think it's going to do much good, dad.
Look at the holes in it.
Idiotic-looking contraption.
Dad, I think I know how we can do it.
If we can get some long pieces of wire, we can...
No, that won't work.
What won't work?
I thought we could run the wire under the car
and go over the hood and tie it on that one.
Bud, that won't work.
Well, that's what I said.
No good fender.
No good, mouth-eating, rough-sighted, puffy-billy-cappy.
What is it?
Daddy, we won.
We won?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you sure?
I just saw Betty.
And they call our number.
And we won.
Jim, I'm wonderful.
Wow.
Bud, boy or boy?
Bud, would you care to join me?
What are you going to do, dad?
I'm going to show this no good misguided fender
just where it gets all.
And that's right here.
Turn it over, bud.
What?
That's it.
Now, watch.
I guess that'll show it.
Can I jump on it too, daddy?
Sure, go right ahead.
You two, bud.
Have a good time.
Move over, we get past it.
Jim, isn't it wonderful?
It certainly is.
I wonder what color it is.
If that isn't just like a woman,
I suppose if you don't like the color,
we'll have to give it back.
Oh, no, but I just thought it's not very beautiful.
Is it simply light?
It certainly is.
Where is it?
Oh, there.
What are they doing?
Never mind them.
Where is it?
But father, they're ruining the fender.
Who cares about an old fender?
We want a new car, didn't we?
Oh, father, no.
We want a ham.
Well, it's not the first time folks have expected one thing
and ended up with a lot less.
It just points up a fact we've learned,
you and I, many times.
You've got to make sure of what you get in everything.
In a pound of coffee, for instance,
you want to make sure of a flavor you get.
You want the most in flavor for every penny you spend.
To millions of folks, that means getting the one coffee famous
for flavor above all others.
Our Maxwell House coffee.
Mmm, mmm, that wonderful good to the last drop flavor.
You won't find it, you know, in any other coffee.
No coffee but Maxwell House.
And there's a mighty good reason why.
It's our recipe.
And there's no mistaking its importance.
It's the one and only recipe of its kind.
It calls for certain fine varieties of coffee.
And our Maxwell House people carefully combine them just so.
It's the one way, the one recipe,
for that good to the last drop flavor.
And it spells the big difference between just any coffee.
And coffee at its Sunday go to meeting best.
And this difference adds up to more enjoyment, more flavor for your money.
When you pour Maxwell House coffee into those cups on your table.
So next time, bring home that familiar blue tin of Maxwell House.
Enjoy coffee that's always good to the last drop.
You know, for some reason or other, automobile people are a cheerful lot.
A smiling Irishman, the laughing Lithuanian,
they're a gay group of fellows with lilding hearts and names to match.
In Springfield, it's Fred Haney, the happy hibernian.
And that's where the Anderson's are headed, like this.
Father.
What is it, Betty?
Don't you think it's about time we gave up on this old heap?
Betty, please don't annoy your father.
Well, jump and creep her.
It's all right, Margaret.
I'm used to being ridiculed.
After all, I'm only her father.
Everybody has to get so personal about everything.
Why is it such an insult if I think we need a new car?
Betty, this is more than a car.
This is an old friend which has served us faithfully and well.
And you don't give up an old friend just because it's a little droopy in the fenders.
You treat it gently, humor it, restore it to health.
The best thing you can do for this friend is give it a decent funeral.
Betty.
For your information, Betty, this car will be as good as new and less than a week.
And it'll be good for another 12 years.
Holy cow.
It's always the car's even older than I am.
It makes more noise, too.
Father.
What is it, Betty?
As long as you insist on having the car fixed up, can we please have it painted?
I fully intend to have it painted.
A new fender, new paint job, a few little touches on the motor here and there.
We'll have a car you can be proud of.
Can we have it painted blue, please?
What's the matter with black?
But it's always been black and black is so dark.
Well, we'll get a light black.
I like red.
Then you can pretend you're riding in a fire engine.
You know, Margaret, I should have had this done a long time ago.
I had the car fixed up, I mean.
But I think of the way I've let it get run down, though.
I should have had my head examined.
That's all we've been telling you.
What?
Oh, I didn't mean a...
I mean a...
Well, green's a nice color.
Is it?
Well, if you like green...
You know, for a while I thought maybe we'd get a new car.
Golly!
But then I said, why?
I can have this one fixed up for $50 or $60.
So why go all that unnecessary expense?
Did anybody say they'd fixed it up for $50 or $60?
No, but I'm just figuring conservatively.
Maybe it'll only be $40.
What a dreamer.
Bye.
I don't know.
When I was a boy, children showed a little respect for their parents.
They didn't spend half their life...
Gin.
What is it, Margaret?
Isn't that, Haney?
I know it's Haney.
I've only been here a million times.
Where was I, bud?
They didn't spend half their life.
They didn't spend half their life trying to make up wise tracks about their fathers.
Now behave yourself.
Okay, Dad.
Father.
I know, Betty.
You want a painted blue.
I just saw it.
You want blue.
Kathy wants red.
Bud wants green.
How would it be if we settled for a nice scotch plaid?
Hello, Jim.
Got the whole family with you this time, huh?
That's right.
Say, Fred, I'd like to see if we can't...
We want a painted red.
Kathy.
And make the horn louder.
Kathy, get back in the car and sit down.
Yes, Daddy.
Fred.
Father, look.
What?
That yellow one isn't at a dream, both.
Betty, I'm trying to tell Mr. Haney...
Boy, look at that foreign job.
Is that something?
Margaret.
Dear, I know you and Mr. Haney want to talk.
So why don't the children and I just wander around and look at the different cars?
An excellent idea, Mrs. Anderson.
Excellent.
Oh, bud.
Look at that one.
It's got a lot of cycle on it.
That's for deliveries, don't be.
Mother, did you ever see anything like that blue one?
It's very nice to see you.
Well, maybe now we can talk.
Don't tell me you're finally going to give up on that, Rex.
What, Rex?
That's because it looks a little shabby.
Why don't you face it, Jim?
You'll need a new car.
Fred, I'm not spending any $1,600 for a car.
$1,663.20.
Pardon me.
Including license and tax.
I'll take 12.
Jim, I've known you for a long time.
I value your business.
But more than that, I value your friendship.
Then tell Gilhausen to fix my car so it'll stay together.
He can't, Jim.
It's old.
It's worn out.
You're just throwing good money after bad.
Will you please buy a new car?
You don't have to buy it from me.
Buy it from anybody, but buy it.
Are you all finished?
Yes.
No.
Just tell Gilhausen to fix my car right this time.
Of all the stubborn Gilhausen.
I'm all the hair, Fred.
Come here, will you?
Ben Hur is back.
Very funny.
Holy smokes, Mr. Andersen.
I don't have to work on that thing again, do I?
No, you don't have to.
I know a lot of places that'll be very glad.
I had just a minute, Jim.
Don't get up on your horse.
If you want it fixed, we'll fix it.
Won't we, Gil?
We'll fix it or we'll give it either a transfusion.
Why anybody would want to throw good money into that wreck?
Gil?
So we fix it.
Where's the fender?
It got stepped on.
It what?
It's gone.
It fell off.
Because you don't know how to put a fender on.
I put fenders on before you was born.
But not fenders like your fenders.
All right.
All right, Gil, we'll just have to put on a new fender.
Okay, Jim?
I suppose so.
While we're at it, let's do it up right.
Let's paint the whole thing.
Get the motor tuned up.
Fix the lights.
Have you got it on that, Gil?
This time, we're going to fix it right.
Well, that's more like it.
So we start with the fender.
Look, you see this big hole in the panel?
Yes.
That's where I got a bolt defender on a hole.
No.
We need a new panel.
A new panel.
Go ahead, Gil, I'm writing it down.
Wait a minute.
Why can't you adjust the new panel bolts onto the body?
Only it's all rusted away over here in a wound hole.
So we need new body.
Look, Fred, all I want you to do is take a new body.
It's too light.
New frame, chassis, rear assembly, transmission.
You got it?
You got it.
New crankshaft, flywheel, feed line, connecting rods, clutch, camshafts,
new springs, muffler exhaust, chucks, bumpers.
Mr. Gil, housing.
Horn's all right.
Mr. Gil, housing.
Forget about the whole thing.
Well, you just fix the wire in the distributor and I'll be happy.
Mr. Andersen, look.
Lift the hood, will you, Fred?
Okay.
Thanks, Fred.
Now, you see that wire, Mr. Andersen?
It goes down there and hooks on to that.
But it can't because it's loose.
Here, you see this?
You got a cracked block, the water pumps broke, the radiator leaks,
the piston assembly shot the valves a gun.
You got to get a new motor.
Just because you can't hook up one little wire, huh?
What?
Am I going to hook it on?
Kim, we're trying to help you and with a job this big,
we'll give you a special rate.
Well, that's more like it.
What does it come to?
The whole thing?
With a paint job.
You want me anymore, Fred?
No, thanks, lot, Gil.
Okay.
See you later, Mr. Andersen.
You bet.
Go ahead, Fred, figure it out.
And sharpen your pencil.
Well, let me see.
1538 to 47496.
496?
The whole thing, including labor and parts,
comes to exactly $1,678.
That's $15 more than a new one.
Jim, this is all on a piecework basis.
And besides with seat cover,
you'll have a car that's practically new.
$1600.
Margaret?
Well, I told you in the very beginning, Jim.
Margaret!
Jim, is anything wrong?
$1600.
It's an outrage.
That's what it is an outrage.
Well, you think it over, Jim?
And whatever you decide, just let me know.
$1678.
That's the most outrageous thing I've ever heard in my life.
What did he say, Dad?
Is it going to be Blue Fathers?
Dad, the man let me shoot the green skunks.
All right, get in.
We're going home.
Aren't you going to have it fixed?
I said get in.
I want to send you the green skunks.
All right, children, let's not argue.
Do as your father says.
I'll get another mechanic.
That's what I'll do.
Haney isn't the only dealer in Springfield.
Tell me, my car isn't any good.
$1678.
Dear, don't you think if you've talked to Mr. Haney again.
Haney, he's a worse crook than Gil Howe's an Everwatch.
He's ten times as bad.
Somebody will fix this car and it'll be good for another 12 years.
And another 140,000 miles.
Oh, father.
Have you heard of the wonderful one-horse, Chey?
That was built in such a logical way at ran 100 years to a day?
Well, we're sitting in right now.
100 years.
Holy cow, dad.
This car's as sound as it was the day we bought it.
It's a good car, solid and sturdy.
I'll put on a fender, get a little paint, a few tires.
What was that?
Another fender fell off.
Well, we'll put it back on.
Dad.
Dad.
Father.
Jim.
We've just got to get a new car.
Fred.
Fred.
Oh, Fred.
You see, of course, if you're not a dunce.
How it went to pieces all at once.
All at once and nothing first.
Just as bubbles do when they burst.
End of the wonderful one-horse, Chey.
Logic is logic.
That's all I say.
Yes, logic is logic.
And when it comes to coffee,
that's the reason you naturally look for the most in flavor
for every penny you spend.
And it's yours in the coffee with the world's most famous flavor.
Our good to the last drop Maxwell House.
That wonderful flavor begins with our Maxwell House recipe.
But we don't stop there.
We know that air can steal coffee flavors.
And ordinary containers like paper bags
can't prevent roasted coffee from losing flavor,
whether it's ground or whole bean.
That's why we carefully vacuum-pack our Maxwell House
in the familiar blue tin.
It's the only way you can be guaranteed coffee fresh
as the hour it was roasted,
without one bit of flavor wasted.
So these days, be sure you get the most interesting flavor
and freshness.
You always will when you open up a pound of Maxwell House.
The coffee that's always good to the last drop.
Ladies and gentlemen, this is Robert Young.
Since the beginning of this year,
as you probably know,
we on Father Knows Best have been working hand in glove
with the inter-industry industry
for the first time in the world.
And we're going to have a great time.
We're going to have a great time.
Father Knows Best have been working hand in glove
with the inter-industry highway safety committee.
Our particular phase of the overall problem
was the enlistment of teenagers and their parents
in a good driver's club.
And now, after five months of campaigning,
we'd like to make our first report.
And for all those connected with this safety movement,
we have news I consider a little short of miraculous.
Since the inception of this campaign,
two and three quarter million pledges have been requested
by the teenage drivers of America.
Think of it, two and three quarter million.
In large cities, in small hamlets,
the young men and women of this country
have proved beyond the shadow of a doubt
the basic integrity of their generation.
We are proud of them,
prouder than we can say.
By recognizing their common problem,
by driving safely and carefully,
these young men and women have brought added security
to the highways and everlasting glory to themselves.
We congratulate them on a job well done,
and ask only that they continue their good work in the future.
Good night.
Now, yours to enjoy.
An instant coffee you'll love for breakfast every morning.
An instant coffee you'll be proud to serve to your dinner guests.
It's instant Maxwell House,
the instant coffee with a famous flavor.
Here's the happiest combination in coffee.
Wonderful good to the last drop flavor,
combined with the convenience and thrift
of coffee made instantly in the cup.
Tomorrow, try instant Maxwell House,
the instant coffee with a famous flavor,
instantly good to the last drop.
Join us again next week
when we'll be back with Father Knows Best,
starring Robert Young as Jim Anderson,
with Roy Boggy and the Maxwell House Orchestra,
and yours truly, Bill Forman.
So until next Thursday,
good night and good luck from the makers of Maxwell House,
America's favorite brand of coffee.
Always good to the last drop.
Father Knows Best was transcribed in Hollywood
and written by Ed James.
Now, stay tuned for screen-gill theater
which follows immediately over most of these stations.
Stay tuned for screen-gill theater,
next on NBC.
