FATHER'S partner is livid because we missed the GATHERING she ORGANIZED to surprise

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I wish you enjoy the tale.

Father's partner is livid because we miss the gathering she organized to surprise my daughter.

My 33-year-old daughter, Cleo, who is 5 years old, detests the color pink and has never

been a fan of it.

Almost everything to do with it since she was about 3 or so.

She has one pink shirt she likes and one pink stuffed animal and that's it.

My father's partner Prue refuses to accept that Cleo doesn't like pink.

Over the years, she's made several attempts to push the color onto her.

Pretty much every gift she's ever given her has some shade of pink no matter how many

times I tell her to stop.

She has tried to give me dozens of different reasons why I should encourage my daughter

to try different shades.

It clearly upsets Cleo, but Prue keeps doing it.

About a week ago, my father invited me, my husband, and our children for dinner at his

place.

He said he and had a surprise for the kids.

Right before we left home, my younger sister who still lives with our father texted me.

She warned me that the surprise was actually a small birthday party Prue had planned for

Cleo.

That alone threw me off because my daughter's birthday was in November.

My father did miss her actual birthday party due to work, but still.

Also, my son turns 9 in March, so I had figured his would be the next party we'd have.

Then she sent me photos of how the place was decorated, and it very clearly wasn't actually

meant for Cleo.

Literally, every piece of decoration was pink.

The table, the tableware, the balloons, everything.

She had gotten pink banners and glued pink foil fringe curtains on the doors.

Even the cake was pink.

I showed everything to my husband and we agreed not to take the kids there.

I texted my father the following.

Hey, my sister told me everything.

We're not coming.

We're taking the kids to McDonald's and telling them that was your surprise.

You and Prue can come if you want.

We're paying.

We did exactly that.

My father did show up without Prue, but he was cold with us and left 20 minutes after

arriving.

Both him and Prue are pissed.

My father is angry that my husband and I dismissed his partner's heartfelt gesture towards

our daughter.

Prue also told me that I'm the reason Cleo is restrictive.

I also don't like pink, and I'm raising her to be an ungrateful spoiled brat who is

unwilling to compromise.

To be honest, I get how I could be in the wrong here, but at the same time, this just felt

like Prue trying to push something Cleo doesn't like onto her yet again.

My sister and one of my brothers are on my side, though my sister did say I had been rude.

My other brother is on the fence.

Am I the A-hole?

No.

OP, you're not the A-hole.

You stood up for your daughter's autonomy, and that's exactly what a good parent does.

This wasn't a heartfelt gesture from Prue dance.

It was a blatant disregard for Cleo's feelings and a continued pattern of disrespect good

for you for not allowing her to bulldoze your child's boundaries.

Here's what I do.

Make it clear to your dad that this isn't about the party, it's about respect, then

set firm boundaries with Prue dance.

As she wants to be in Cleo's life, she needs to respect her preferences.

Period.

Finally, keep reinforcing to Cleo that her feelings matter, that the people who truly love her

will respect her choices.

What do you guys think?

Let me know in the comments section, and now let's check out the community comments.

Had for dinner says, not that you handled it well and avoided the worst.

You were not rude so much as clear that you would not let manipulate you or your daughter.

Your father is the weakest link here.

He should be reeling in pink obsession, not encouraging it.

Tell your father and that there are things more important than the color pink in this

world and that if they cannot stop giving pink to your daughter, then they should stop

giving, period.

Tiny D71 says, I'm not sure that Prue's efforts were a heartfelt gesture.

Her insistence on pink seems to be more about Prue than about Cleo.

Does Prue have children of her own?

I would think that most people who've had some exposure to children know that they go

through phases of liking, loving, or disliking things, and that you can't really force things

on them if they don't like them.

Your father and Prue really aren't hearing you in Cleo.

The party wasn't for Cleo, so not attending doesn't seem any worse than throwing a party

for someone when you know they'll hate it, not the whole.

And OP responds, Prue doesn't have kids.

She does have some experience with children, but mostly through mine and her friends.

She has never babysat my kids, and I don't know whether she's ever been responsible for

any children.

And Money Possibility 606 says, the spoiled brat unwilling to compromise here is Prue,

not you or your daughter.

This is like someone saying, I hate it.

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Eight mushrooms, and then someone going out of their way to invite them to a special

dinner where every dish is made of only mushrooms and then getting mad at them for being

ungrateful.

That's what a holes do.

True is the A-hole, not you, not the A-hole.

Thank you for protecting your daughter.

Additional information from OP's profile.

Hey, guys.

I ended up leaving a lot of comments on my post, many of which say the same things over

and over because I don't think it will be easy to read them all.

And because many of you were quick to make inaccurate assumptions about me and my family,

I'm writing this to clarify some things.

Cleo and Prue are both fake names.

Not American.

Prue is 46 years old.

I don't call her my stepmother because she's only 13 years older than me.

Also, she's not married to my father, but they've been together for 12 years.

I have nothing against her.

We're just not close.

Cleo's interests are pretty balanced.

She likes princesses, cars, robots, and dolls.

She loves science and outer space.

She does ballet and loves it too.

She's the only girl in her ballet class who wears black.

Her teacher calls her black swan.

She's not a girly girl, but I wouldn't call her a tomboy either.

She's just a kid who hates pink.

Cleo's favorite colors are yellow and blue.

Though I understand the assumption Cleo dislikes pink because of me, that's not the case.

I hate pink, but I'm not disgusted by it.

I wear pink clothing around my children.

I occasionally dress Cleo and pink as a baby.

I own pink stuff and buy it for myself.

My kids don't know I don't like pink.

They've chosen pink gifts for me in the past.

According to my son, I love all the colors.

My father and prue know it because I've disliked pink since long before I had children.

There's plenty of stuff I hate that my kids like in vice versa.

They don't have to care about these things, so I don't tell them.

Cleo's more boyish tastes also annoy prue.

Not as much as the pink thing but enough that my husband and I know.

Cleo's birthday party last November was themed after Super Mario Brothers and prue actually

asked me why I was allowing that.

Cleo is open about hating pink.

She has expressed that to prue several times specifically because she keeps pushing it.

Both my kids are polite.

Never prue gives my daughter something pink, Cleo thanks her.

She'll sometimes ask prue if she can give her something yellow next time, and she doesn't

act as excited as she gets when other people give her something she actually likes.

But that's it.

We let Cleo choose whichever gifts she wants to exchange.

She always asks to exchange pink stuff.

If it can't be exchanged, she won't play with it or wear it.

We either give those away to her friends or donate them to charity.

Cleo does have friends who like pink.

Her best friend loves it and wouldn't complain if they threw pink parties for themselves.

She'd know those aren't about her.

But the second you make it about her, also known as through her a pink party, then she

be upset.

Cleo would have loved the party.

She would have started crying immediately.

She wouldn't have eaten the cake.

She wouldn't have had fun.

I didn't tell Cleo about the party for a number of reasons.

Most importantly, I didn't want her to get upset.

I also knew that letting her see it would ruin my father's image in her eyes.

Cleo is already upset that Prue doesn't care about what she likes, and I didn't want

her to get frustrated at her grandfather too.

Yes.

My daughter does in fact hate pink.

Yes, I am very well aware that might change someday.

No, I wouldn't care if it did.

Well, the community agrees that OP was not the A-hole that she did write by Cleo, and

we got a lot of context from OP as well.

So now let's move on to the update to see how this story ends.

First of all, I apologize to my sister a few hours after I made my original post.

I am very grateful for what she did, but I'll do my best to keep her away from these

conflicts moving forward.

Thank you to those who defended her.

And for context, my sister told me that from what she saw, the party was entirely Prue's

idea.

When she started getting pink stuff for the decorations, both my sister and my father

tried to remind her Cleo didn't like pink.

Prue barely acknowledged them, and my father eventually stopped arguing, which was why my

sister sent me the pictures.

If she actually cared about Cleo's interests, she'd know my daughter might actually be more

girly than me.

My daughter is so much more than a girl who hates pink.

If Prue can't see that, it's her loss.

Secondly, I went through your comments with my husband, and our main takeaways was that

we did what we had to do to protect Cleo, even if it wasn't what we do in most circumstances.

Had either of us been surprised with a party decorated with something we openly hated,

we would have sucked it up and ignored it.

It sucks, but we're adults and it comes with the territory.

Cleo, however, is five years old.

She wouldn't deal with it the same way nor would we expect her to.

Knowing my daughter, she would have been miserable at the party.

So also...

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publish it.

Mently, we don't regret not taking her there.

On Saturday, we took the kids to spend the afternoon at my brother's place with their

cousins.

In the meantime, we invited my father and crew over to talk.

My husband and I told them we wanted them to abide by the following.

1.

No more surprise parties without our knowledge and approval.

2.

No more pushing the color pink onto Cleo, including pink gifts.

And 3.

No more calling our children spoiled for being allowed to dislike something.

If they didn't agree to our terms, we would no longer take the kids to their place, and

there would be a good chance we'd lower our contact with them in the future.

Prue didn't say anything at first.

My father tried to argue that we should at least thank her for the party, but I said no.

I told them the problem wasn't that prue through a party for my daughter that was dedicated

to her own interests.

It was that she specifically chose something she knows my daughter hates and centered everything

around it.

We wouldn't thank her and we wouldn't apologize.

That's when Prue chimed in.

She tried to tell us we were raising our daughter to be a brat again.

So I asked, why are you so insistent on pink?

She didn't answer at first, but then said she knew Cleo did love pink.

She just didn't know it yet, and to that I asked, would you be this pushy if it was about

any other color?

Prue tried to say that didn't matter, but when my husband asked her if she'd care if Cleo

hated blue, she said, she doesn't need to like blue.

He replied that she didn't need to like pink either.

He told Prue that she had no right to decide what Cleo should and shouldn't like.

Cleo hates pink, and if she can't be an adult and respect that, then she doesn't need

to be around our children.

In the end, my father and Prue agreed to our terms, I'm not confident about her, but

I did speak to my father.

I said, I know that he has a hard time saying no to Prue, but he will ruin his relationship

with me and my children if he keeps enabling his partner.

My father promised he wouldn't let this happen again.

Still, I don't trust her at all.

I've already warned my father what will happen if he doesn't stand up to her, but I wouldn't

be surprised if Prue tried something again.

At least my siblings are on my side.

I hope this works out.

Cleo is a great kid, and I hope my father and Prue can finally start seeing that.

Thank you all for everything.

Well, Ope, you and your husband have done right by Cleo.

You stood up for her and you made the rules clear.

If they can't follow them and then they lose access to Cleo, it's only on them.

So here's wishing you the best in the future, Ope.

Take care and thanks for sharing.

And now let's move on to the next post that also has an update.

This post is from the subreddit, Amithiahole and it's by user, Anna Maria.

5.

Amithiahole for breaking up with my boyfriend because he lost my dog?

Hello everyone, it is my first time posting anything on here, and English is not my first

language.

Please keep in mind I have been crying for the past two days.

Sorry for any mistakes.

Me, 24 female, and my boyfriend, 24 male, have been together for almost four years.

We get along okay for the most part.

I have had my dog, Milo, 12 female, for her whole life.

We grew up together and it's really hard for her to get to trust other people.

She has always been an anxious girl, but she is the light of my life and was always

by my side in my worst days.

Three years ago, I introduced my boyfriend to my family, which is just my mom and Milo.

He and my mom got along okay, but he did not acknowledge Milo in any way.

Of course, that's fine, I did not expect him to be all over her considering she does

not like that, but I still found it pretty strange because he said he absolutely loved

dogs, and to be honest, I believe that because he would always pet dogs when we were outside.

Any interaction for the past three years with her was limited, but Milo warmed up to him.

She would greet him, go to him for pets, which he sometimes gave, and accepted him on our

daily walks.

One and a half years ago, Milo got sick.

She had a tooth infection, which was pretty bad.

Her whole right I was swollen shut.

I asked my boyfriend to take us to the vet because I don't have a car.

The vet took care of the infection, gave me some antibiotics to give her every day,

and instructions to clean the wound that was left after the vet cleaned the pus.

For a couple of weeks, I did not hang out that much with my boyfriend.

I'd take care of Milo because she was not feeling great.

One thing that stood out to me was the fact that he seemed pretty pissed every time I brought

her up talking about her progress.

Looking back, that should have risen some red flags, but I guess I brushed it off.

Now that I gave you the short version of the past, this is what's happening in the present.

I planned with my mom to go on a short vacation to visit my grandparents.

I was talking to my boyfriend about this trip, and I told him who would take care of Milo,

my best friend, Alex, 23 male.

My boyfriend then offered to take care of her.

He was mad that I didn't come to him first, stating that he loves Milo and wants to go

on walks with her.

I reluctantly agreed considering this love for her was out of the blue.

The trip was supposed to last three days.

On day two, I was talking with my boyfriend on the phone and he casually says that Milo

really likes to stay outside.

For me, this felt off and asked him what he meant.

He left my sweet girl outside hours at a time alone and would check up on her hourly.

Mind you, I live in an apartment and I don't have a backyard.

He and my mom left as soon as I told her, and we arrived back home at around 9 pm.

Since then, I blocked my boyfriend on everything and have been searching for my girl.

I have printed posters, went out every day for hours at a time, and put it on Facebook

groups around my area.

If you have any advice of something more I could do, please let me know.

Now he and his friend groups say I'm an A-hole because I have put my dog above my boyfriend

in all of our four years of relationship.

I know for a fact this is not true, but I don't have anyone else to ask besides people

that are really close to me and would be biased.

OP you are not the A-hole.

Your boyfriend didn't lose Milo.

He neglected her and betrayed your trust.

That's a deal breaker.

If I were you, I'd focus all my energy on finding Milo.

Back in shelters, vets, rescue groups, and local online communities, I'd also cut him

and his toxic friends out completely.

No one blocking, no explaining, no second chances.

Milo is the priority.

Everything else is irrelevant.

And what do you guys think?

Let me know in the comments section, and now let's check out the community comments.

Forsaken inside says not the A-hole.

This is negligence when he had responsibility to uphold.

Heck, he might have done this on purpose.

Dopey responds, this is what I'm most afraid of.

He seems smart enough not to let her alone outside considering how scared she is of everything.

Thank you.

Velvet T-Heart says not the A-hole.

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Spreaker, because if you're going to talk to yourself for an hour, you might as well

publish it.

Your boyfriend's negligence led to your dog's disappearance and his lack of care for

Milo over the years clearly shows where his priorities lie.

Breaking up was justified.

Keep searching for Milo.

Involve local shelters, vets, and social media for broader reach.

Disasterous dinner 9575 says, check all your local shelters.

It feels like he's given her away and is pretending she's wandered off.

The community agrees that OP is not the A-hole that breaking up with her boyfriend was the

right thing to do and they gave her some advice on where to look for Milo.

So now let's move on to the update to see how the story ends.

Hi, a lot of people asked me for an update.

I should have waited until I got some rest, but you all were so helpful and you deserve

to know how this ended.

My ex came today to get his stuff and some of you might be happy for what you're about

to read, but he did not get a single thing back.

When he saw me, he started begging me to forgive him and thanks to you again, I agreed to

forgive him if he told me the truth.

He just looked me straight in the face and said, if I'm going to be honest, you won't

forgive me.

My heart broke all over again.

Thinking about the worst of things, when he saw me cry, he told me I should get over

it because she was already old, but if I really wanted her back, I should get back with

him.

And when he trusts me that I really forgave him, I could see her again.

This dude's a psycho.

I was exhausted, hopeless and angered and even though I wanted my girl back, I could not

look at him, let alone be with him for however long he thought it took me to forgive him.

So he left, not telling me a single thing about Milo.

Then I got a call some hours later, and on the other end was a lady who found Milo on

the side of the road.

She told me she would wait for me to come because when she wanted to pick her up, she

seemed to be in pain.

When I got there and saw her laying there, all my emotions flooded me.

My sweet baby, even though she looked so different, was alive.

She is now staying overnight at the vet.

She has two broken ribs and is dehydrated.

If everything goes well, she will be home soon.

I appreciate each and every one of you that took the time to guide me in this nightmare.

Thank you again.