Fishin’ For Loopholes

Hey, it's Brian, your lunatic friend.

You ever read the Bible and start looking for loopholes?

Best way to do that?

Develop a keen sense of selective hearing.

I can babble just enough Bible to know

there are penalties for adding to the scriptures.

I know John said in the book of Revelation,

that if you add to this vision,

you will suffer from all the plagues that I just mentioned.

So yeah, it's worse than the substantial penalties

for early withdrawal.

So I'm gonna not do that.

I don't have to add to the scriptures.

I'll just rearrange them.

And I'll use the King James version.

And I'll use enough these and those and those

to make it sound right.

Because what's the problem with just putting

God's commands in a different order?

Makes me think of a captain of a firing squad

who gets the commands wrong.

And he says, ready?

Fire!

Aim!

In Second Timothy, it says,

all scripture is profitable for teaching,

for reproof, for correction,

and for training in righteousness.

And not once does it say,

irrationalizing.

My favorite dead guy, Aussie Chambers, says,

a person's own idea of God and his attributes

may actually be used to justify and rationalize

his deliberate neglect of what God's

asking him to do.

And I was just grateful he wasn't talking about me.

No, he was talking about Jonah in the Bible

where God asks him to go preach to Nineveh

and tell him to repent.

Man, I wouldn't want to do that either

because who wants to look like the party pooper?

Let's be honest,

none of us want to go to Nineveh.

So Jonah decides he's going to go fishing instead.

And what's amazing is that when he talks to God about it,

he uses all true statements about the attributes of God.

In a classic prayer of butter me up,

they even put his text message in the Bible

of a time stamp on it as exhibited in the hearing.

Let's read it.

Jonah's excused to God for not doing what he was supposed to.

He says, I know that you are a gracious and merciful God.

Slow to anger and abundant in loving kindness.

One who relents from doing harm.

I had to laugh at that one.

He's basically saying, don't hurt me.

What's amazing about this prayer is it's all true stuff

about God only is used to go the wrong direction.

But one thing I know rationalizing is just a post moment

of what God's going to hold me accountable for.

It's kind of a variation on what Jesus said.

You can strain it in that and get swallowed by a whale.

And there's a nutshell sermon right there.

Man, that sermon was no fun.

I know you didn't like it either,

but I am your lunatic friend

and sometimes you have to like me anyway.

Hey, I know what we could do.

We could avoid looking at ourselves by sharing

this nutshell sermon with somebody who really needs it.

And you can support my effort here

as a way of excusing yourself

from anything else God's asking you to do.

Cause hey, after all, it's more blessed to give than to receive.