Focus on Yourself & Stay Silent – Alex Hormozi

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From the creators of jury duty comes a new installment full of high jinx hilarity and hot sauce.

This season we're taking the comedy out of the courthouse and into the mountains for an annual

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Sometimes progress is the W like maintaining in some seasons is winning.

This has been my my big focus right now. And I'm not the first person to say this, but just

winning the day. And Bill Ackman had this hard season where he was getting divorced. She just lost

$4 billion. And he was not him today. He was earlier on his career. So I mean, it was just the

worst. And it was just a terrible slog. And he said one of the difficult parts about that period is

that there was no one thing that was like, Oh, I can tackle this today. Like you're not going to

finish the divorce today. You're not going to undo the $4 billion loss today. And so it's like when

you have these larger, more complex negative things that do scale. It's like how do you how do you

navigate through that? And for anyone who's listening right now, it's like, maybe it's the bad

breakup. Maybe it's that or maybe you're getting divorced, right? Or maybe it's like the business

isn't working the way you want. It's like, and there's like 10 things that you have to fix.

And so he had this very tactical advice, which I liked a lot, which is he just tried to make

progress. And that was it. And he said, you know, in a day, it's almost, it's almost negligible,

right? But at 30 days, you're like, Okay, I moved this. And at nine, you're like, wow.

Does this mean that our mood is still being dictated by circumstance? Yes. I'll be honest. Yes,

it does. But I think many of us have this ideal. We'd love to be in a great mood in the absence of

things to be in a great mood about. But I had this one great podcast today. I'm going to make that

thing the thing that's making this a great day. And then if I can make that great day, then maybe it

could be a great week. And then trying to expand those visionally, let those good moments eat up

the season in actively trying to minimize all the down things and super, super focus on those

moments and be like, cool, I had that good moment. That's my day. Days made. And I'm trying to

even say that more. Basically, I've had to recalibrate my entire scale to how little of a thing can

happen that makes my day. How little of a thing can happen that makes my week. How little

of a thing can make my month. How crazy would it be if a year from now, I say, that was a great year.

I'm putting a huge amount of my discretionary effort into this because it's my belief that right now,

what will prevent me from achieving my ultimate goals, because that, that one is not gone,

is running out of steam because I don't need to do this. Like, I don't need to work this hard.

I have to, I'd prefer to, make the ride more enjoyable.

Realize it never mattered to begin with. What's that?

If you want it all, life will give you nothing. We're willing to sacrifice everything that we have

for the thing that we want. And then once we get the thing that we want, we want back the things

that we sacrificed, which really just goes to the heart of the human condition, which is we want

it all. And we're not willing to make trades. And so one of the reasons that I've actually,

I would say largely tossed out the deathbed regrets of most people, is that what they do typically

is they'll have the bias of wanting the other path they could have taken without considering the

cost of that path. So they say, hey, I was really successful and I did all these things,

but I would give it all up today to have my family. It's like, well, yeah, but you didn't,

because you actually chose the path that you're on. And you weren't willing to do that.

But what you are saying right now is that you want it all. Sure. So does everyone.

And so I've had a few moments of clarity over the last year or so. But we want everything

without the cost and everything has a price. And you will never be able to get the sufficient

price tag paid on everything to achieve a monocle of success in any domain,

unless you are willing to trade from another. And I think that that has significantly minimized my regret.

We give up our 20s for our 30s. We give up our 30s for our 40s, our 40s for our 50s.

And we trade everything we achieved in our 30s, 40s and 50s to get back to our 20s.

We give up the thing we have most of for the thing that we have least of.

And we give up the thing that we want for the thing that's supposed to get it.

I will become happy when I'm sufficiently successful and I will sacrifice my happiness in

pursuit of success so that I can become sufficiently successful so I can finally be happy.

We spend our 20s wanting to be richer and older and have a family. Then we start that in our 30s

and we gain more wealth and do the family thing. And then we get back to our 40s and we've got

more responsibilities. We've accumulated all of this stuff. And then we think, God, if only I could go

back to my 20s. But you were miserably in your 20s. You hated it. You had no idea whether you're

going to be successful. You were constantly concerned about money. You were desperately needing

validation from all of these people around you, but permanently in dissatisfaction about this stuff.

We already know how the movie ends when we go back and say we want to relive it.

And you can't relive it into the same context because uncertainty is the largest part of the story.

Perhaps gold news can only happen in our memory. Nobody believes that we're living through

in gold and era right now. We never think we're in the good old days. But the good old days are

always down. I have spent a huge amount of mental resources accepting suffering

and not saying that there's something wrong with something bad. Like a huge amount of

mental resources has gone to this because I've been better and faster at correcting the loop of like,

oh, I am not happy with this particular thing. And therefore, there's something wrong.

So I've fixed the story that I tell myself to fix the thing. And that's been super helpful

with the addition of everything that I remember will always be better than it was.

And the nice thing is that there's tons of science that backs us up, which is that we learn

through reward and punishment. Punishment fades with time. No matter how bad it was,

like you get drunk, you get hungover, you say I'll never drink again. Seven days later,

you're out drinking again. Why? The punishment of the hangover fades quickly. You are with somebody

for a while. You're like, this is crazy or this guy is crazy. And then you break up. And then

all of a sudden, what do you remember? The good times. Because reward sticks. And in some ways,

there's a little bit of a hopeful message there, which is that when you look back on your life,

you will disproportionately remember the good times. But it only becomes a problem if you limit the

present, which is the only thing you've ever actually lived in. When I think about a business and

I want to grow it, for example, I would think, okay, what are all the things that can destroy this

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