Friend DROPPED Me As Maid Of Honor Because Of My Looks - Family Says I Should KEEP THE PEACE!

Hey waffle gang, I do hope you're well. My name is Mark and today we're checking

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burst story. Much love guys, now today's first story comes from right nose 8825 from the

MIDR, so here's subreddit. And it says, I'm IDR, so for saying, I won't go to my friends

wedding after she dropped me as a maid of honor because of my looks. Sofie and I both 27 have been

close friends since we were four. They're not the speak every single day Laurel and Susanna type

friends, but I genuinely consider her a sister and her parents like an aunt and uncle.

Our families are close. My whole family is invited to a wedding, as is my boyfriend's family.

My boyfriend is Sophie's brother's best friend. That's how close we all are.

So I wasn't really surprised when she asked me to be a maid of honor and I think I've been a good

one. Well, two weeks ago Sophie, the other bridesmaid and I went to try and bridesmaid's dresses.

I thought we all had a good time and that it was a successful trip as we found dresses.

Apparently not because a couple of days later Sophie asked to meet me. She asked that I step down

from being maid of honor. She said seeing me in the bridesmaid's dress made her realize she just

didn't want me stealing focus from her and that she wouldn't feel good standing up there knowing

everyone was probably comparing us. I was so hurt. I admit I cried right there in the coffee shop.

Partly because I never wanted her to think that anyone would be thinking anything other than she

was the most beautiful bride on her wedding day. And partly because I was just so excited to be up

there with her and she was kicking me out over something I couldn't even control and wasn't really

true. So I said fine. It's her wedding. If she didn't want me up there I wouldn't be.

But I wasn't going to come to the wedding as a guest when clearly my presence was going to be a burden

to her. Sophie said that wasn't what she meant and I asked her to explain. She said she desperately

wanted me there so she was going to put aside her feelings but she just wanted pictures at the

altar to be with her looking the best and to have that moment with everyone looking at her up there.

She also wanted me to tell everyone I dropped out because I was too busy. I said none of this felt

fair and I wasn't going to lie for her. I was a good friend and did nothing wrong and she was

being a brat but that was her prerogative and I didn't have to play along. I told my boyfriend

about this who was pretty horrified and I agreed that if I didn't want to go I shouldn't.

Although he still is because his friends were the groom but my mum and stepdad think I would

still be the arsel if I didn't go. My mum said it's also been obvious that Sophie was insecure.

I never noticed this and that she can understand where she's coming from. She said I've had the

spotlight our whole lives. Again I don't think this is true. Sophie is far more outgoing and well-liked

than I have ever been and even though it's pretty sad maybe she does deserve to be the princess on a

wedding day and I shouldn't hate her for it. She says I'll regret missing the wedding over this.

My stepdad says I should go because she's my oldest friend and even if she's being unfair

sometimes you have to let people be irrational. I really don't know now so if you and I have

so many mutual friends there's not a lot of people I can ask about this without it getting back to

her so here I am. I feel like maybe I'm being a jerk having this blow up but I don't see why I

should even stay friends with someone who would exclude me from her wedding party over something

superficial. And clearly she's been sitting on these feelings forever not to mention I already paid

for her whole bachelor at party and the bridesmaid's dress and contributed to the cost of wedding jewelry

and now I just feel used. So am I being a petty arsehole by refusing to go?

Absolutely not the arsehole in this situation and what from my perspective I can just see that

she's just being incredibly hurtful. Basically saying you're too attractive to stand next to her on a

wedding day asked you to lie about why you're not made of her anymore but it's still expecting you

to show up and smile and pretend everything's fine. What the fuck? An OP told us about the financial

aspect which makes us even worse you funded her bachelor at party or the dress you're not going to

wear and chipped in for the wedding jewelry as well. And I found the mums taking this absolutely

wild as well saying that you've had the spot like your whole lives you know it's almost like

when you yourself haven't even recognized it. Sophie's resented you for decades over

over something you haven't even realized that's been going on you know that's her problem and

she needs to get therapy for herself for that because I mean if imagine OP did go through with this

they went to the wedding etc stayed in the background what happens after this and what I can see that's

sort of real relationship damaging stuff that's happened right there you're not going to be able

to look at that person the same way again in my opinion anyway. So I think if Sophie genuinely

wants to repair this she's going to need to really apologize sincerely and look at herself in the

way that she's in the way she's acted in this. I understand insecurity and really do fucked up

things but it's meant to be your best friend that you want there with you on your wedding day to be

stood up there with you and you ask this ask madness. Kitten says I've done friends for a lot less

not the arsehole. She says I love how people seem to think you're regret not going and not that

she should regret her shitty behavior throwing away your friendship because she's jealous of you.

I wouldn't go to a wedding where the bride appointed me made a vonna let me pay for all the stuff

related to that and then kick me out of the bridal party for any reason but hers is particularly

pathetic I think most of my friends are hotter than me I'm not a pathetic baby so it's fine

not the arsehole. Wondering me says not the arsehole I'm probably a six seven depending on

your type and all of my bridesmaids slash made of honor are seven to nine depending on your type

I wanted them all up there with me and wanted them all to look their best and be comfortable

had colors for them to match but they chose their own dresses as I wanted them to pick something

they felt suited them I look my best they look their best some people like the people who love me

probably thought I was the most beautiful woman up there other people probably thought

one of the others was literally never occurred to me to worry about that and I'm pretty

everything self-conscious and with more so back then hope he says yeah have two friends I think

are way prettier than me I still asked them to be my bridesmaid I'm already taken why should I

care on my wedding day mother commenter says not the arsehole and you don't need to attend not

attending weren't necessarily kill the relationship because it depends on how she handles it I'd

reach out to her one more time though not to talk about wedding but about where this all came from

it's clearly blindsided you that's not your mother if I was you I'd want to know why my sister

was thinking like this how it started and then hopefully hug it out big mac says not the arsehole

they do have a little understanding for what she's feeling even if her actions are way over the

top and awful I don't know how big the discrepancy is between your looks but if it's big there is

every chance she's been dealing with this for years every time you to go out you probably get more

looks when guys come to chat and flirt you're probably the first one they focused on and now she's

thinking of her special day and thinking back for all those times she felt invisible next to you

I'm wondering if she was going to be invisible standing up front at her own wedding so while she

was awful to ask that and she shouldn't have asked it I still try to see some way to try and

forgive her insecurity sucks and being the invisible friend to the good looking person isn't fun

so she did something bad and you have every right to be upset but also friends sometimes grew up

and maybe this is a time that I tried to have some grace if you can and work to eventually forgive

her small tangent while I would never in a million years have held it against him or kicked him out

of my wedding party for it I had a friend like that incredibly handsome all the women liked him

anytime a pretty girl came to talk to me I could sense what it was about hey big max how you doing

but then after small talk it was always so is your friend dating anyone years later I still feel

guilty about the one time I was mean but I was tired of being the invisible guy a girl that I had

a light crush on came to talk to me and she said do you know if your friend likes anyone and I just

said not you and walked away it was petty but hey I was like 15 I hope he says it's true

that I've always got more male attention slash people commenting on my looks I admit that but

in the grand scheme of life I never felt like it was a big deal so if he dated off then while my

current boyfriend is my second ever relationship she's always had more friends being more popular

even better academically or even that she was winning out of the two of us the thing is I probably

would forgive her if she ever bothered to apologize but clearly she still thinks she's in the right

here equal says look my best friend is beautiful objectively prettier than me she always got more

male attention she's one of those people who draws others towards her and you know what she was

one of my best friends my sister was made of honor as was hers never once crossed my mind that

she would look better than me no one out shines the bride another one says cancel everything

that you can to get some money back if possible a friendship is done another one says the bride

to be is a straight up grifter she waited until money was spent and then pulled the rug out

miss manners would not approve of the bride's actions it he says you know ages go I looked at my

bestie's ex boyfriend his profile pic was his wedding pic looking at his new bride objectively

she was not as pretty as my friend she was kind of average looking but that day she was radiant

and joyful and elevated her so that she could have been standing next to Taylor Swift and Miss

Swift would be invisible it's pretty difficult to outshine a list out bride too bad this false

friend is too insecure to realize that so it was around 20 days later that OP came in with her

update and said so I don't know if anyone wanted an update but the situation has somewhat concluded

now and I thought I would provide some closure firstly some digging was done by my boyfriend and

myself and we think we found the roots of the issue a couple of months ago my boyfriend

Sophie's mother the groom and Sophie were out for drinks I remember this night at an event

for another friend and couldn't go over drinks the groom apparently asked when my boyfriend was

gonna propose to me and my boyfriend said probably sometime next year groom then made a comment

to the effect of why would you wait that long she's perfect now according to both my boyfriend

and Sophie's brother so if he was really mad about this because groom waited several years to

propose to her she's been bringing it up to him regularly since obviously we all assume he meant

perfect for you not literally perfect but Sophie appears to be taking it personally the second

thing is that my mother did a little gentle probing it turns out at the price makes fitting

Sophie's mum told Sophie that she would have chosen a dress that wasn't going to make me look

better than her I don't think she said it like that too Sophie this is just how she relate it to

my mum and draw attention according to Sophie's mum her aunt and cousin said the same thing and

I guess one of them ganged up on her about it she's also been on Sophie about a pre-wedding diet

so it seems like these two things have got blown out of proportion and ended up in Sophie's request

that I not be made of honour I ended up deciding not to speak to Sophie about any of this she's planning

her wedding she should enjoy this time I don't want to make this about me or our friendship and if

I'm being totally honest I was kind of done with the friendship after the initial conversation

I wanted to know the reasons for my own peace of mind but the truth is nothing was going to change

the fact that she took her feelings out on me who only ever wanted to support her none of these

things came from me or had anything to do with me but she chose to take a wrecking ball to a 20

year friendship rather than confront the people who upset her I can't wrap my head around that

and I'm not going to try going forward that being said I decided to go to the wedding as my

boyfriend's plus one essentially just for closure to this entire mess not enough calm down I really

don't feel any particular way about going I'll eat I'll drink our clap and Sophie will just be

the wife of my boyfriend's friend from now on I guess I haven't told anyone why I'm not made of

honour I just said in the group chat that it was for personal reasons and everyone can speculate once

the wedding is over I'll tell our mutual friends the truth and they can do with that info what they

will so if he has reached out since to talk but I sent her a message telling her that I'll be at

the wedding as a guest and that I hope she enjoys this time in her life and wishing her the best

and I haven't been replying to anything else it surprised me how quickly I've reached the

numbness of just not caring anymore but that's where I'm at I genuinely wish her the best but I

just have zero interest in being a part of her life anymore I just can't see her or anything about

our friendship the same way anymore so that's that I don't really know what else to include if

anyone has anything else to ask that I've missed feel free to ask thank you to everyone who commented

so the top commenter on this one said yeah honestly you handled that perfectly

super mature move just stepping back and keeping it classy she realized what she lost

eventually curious says agreed no drama just disappointment and the cost of Sophie's choice

well handled it's a shame really that's not on you come to the info your initial post ended

with you saying that you had already paid for a bunch of stuff because you were made of honour

that she offered to reimburse you for that do you think she waited to drop you from made of

honour until after you spent the money good for you for looking out for yourself

hope he said she didn't offer and I didn't ask I really don't care about the money enough to

keep talking to her I don't think she dropped me when she did because of the money I do believe

it as a coincidence and she'll probably make a plan to pay me back if I bugger about it but I

paid for those things for someone I loved at the time I don't want to take that away from my

experience just because I can commenter says the fiancé could have realized his own mistake

into laying as a proposal and is advising his friend not to do the same so he may just be very

emotional and stressed with the wedding so you've done the right thing by giving her space I do

wonder if she is also recognising that she overreacted and now wants to make amends before the wedding

you know her best though after two decades of friendship it's really hard losing a friend

of a silly drama though I'm sorry OP but if you replied saying I'd also know my boyfriend

for over a decade before we got together it's not like we started from scratch and we both went

into it knowing we thought we were going to get married so it's not the same situation at all

and I don't think it's relevant to Sophie's relationship I know she's trying to salvage the

friendship by reaching out but it's like all my feelings have evaporated I don't feel like there's

anything I want to say or share with her she's the kind of person who would take her issues out

on someone over something purely superficial I don't want to engage with that at all

4 front says you don't have to tell everyone the full truth you can simply say that Sophie asked

you to step down for her own reasons and you agreed so that she can have the wedding she wants

rides are crazy sensitive she's probably overreacting more than she normally would I get

why you're upset but at the same time she could say that you failed her as a friend here she has

all these family members trying to make her feel bad about herself and she went to the person

she felt she could be vulnerable with you and asked to help her solve this it was poorly handled

all the way around you are not the asshole for being her turn wanting to drop out but you're the

asshole for thinking that only your perspective of the situation has any merit just because you

didn't feel competition with her or felt that she won based on popularity doesn't mean that she

didn't feel the competition or have it pointed out to her by family members it's quite possible

she ignored it for years and it only exploded for the wedding if you think so little of your

friendships that you aren't even going to try to figure out if there is a way past it and Sophie

is better off without you hope he says I did solve it I did what she asked I didn't want to drop out

she dumped me why should I have to stop myself receiving support from and being honest with my

friends because she chose to misdirect her anger regardless of what she feels because of things

that have never come from me I've been a good friend to her I don't think she's better off

without me but it doesn't matter but she wasn't thinking of 20 years of friendship when she chose

to make everything my fault so clearly it didn't mean that much to her either grumpy says I feel bad

for Sophie who needs enemies with a family like that no wonder she feels insecure still doesn't

excuse her behavior but it explains it and after the update and the comments and such I didn't

agree with that other comment that was completely blaming OP I don't think that's right at all

but myself I did feel a little bit for Sophie afterwards I know I know it sounds like she's been

surrounded by people who are just chipping away at a confidence she got her mum relatives maybe

even a fiancé unintentionally and it did just all boil over in the shittiest way possible but

again OP doesn't deserve that pain taken out on them OP didn't cause her insecurity

and OP shouldn't make herself smaller to make her feel better and even in and even in the update

OP showed kindness and maturity by not dragging her through the mud during this time however I don't

think OP should be going to the wedding still I just think it's you know that's just it just feels like

is asking for a bit of drama there somewhere along the line people will be asking questions why

isn't OP made of honor and maybe that's on bride but still it just feels like yeah I wouldn't be

asked for that I don't think but how do you feel after this story let us know your thoughts down

in the comments below let's move on to another story now this next story I saw the title and I was

just like what the fuck it's a lilybug in 45 from the am I overreacting subreddit yet this title

am I overreacting guy I'm seeing peed in my cat litter box hello everyone I'm in quite the situation

I've been seeing this guy for about twoish weeks things were going incredibly well it felt like

he was checking all the boxes but very comfortable around him etc about the fifth time seeing him

we spent nearly the whole day together and we're walking back to my apartment I expressed I had to

pee so once we got into my apartment I went straight to the bathroom he went into my bedroom to wait

I was in there for maybe two minutes max and I walked into my room that's why I saw him zipping up

his fly standing over my cat litter box I shouted what are you doing and he said he has to

use the bathroom really bad I told him it's open I walked over to my cat litter box and saw the

entire thing filled with urine splashed up on the sides and everything like it was certainly not

my cat's urine he was in the bathroom for quite some time when he walked back into my room I told

him he needed to clean it it obviously never cleaned the cat box before which is fine he doesn't

have pets so I took over and ended up cleaning it myself he explained that night before he left

that he was sorry and that he just really had to go also that he wasn't sure why he did it the

next day I text him an express that I didn't want to see him anymore as this was all just too

uncomfortable for me he sent a very long apology showing her a grette and that he really wants to

keep seeing me as he feels things were going so well he also told me that his book a urologist

appointment to figure out what's going on some things to keep in mind no he was not drunk

he had I think three or four white calls the whole day and is extremely tall I'm eating up with

him soon to discuss the situation and to hear what he has to say as he wanted to express some

things to me in person emotional snail quoted this one and said voted it felt like he was checking

all the boxes then the commander said yes he wanted to check the later box as well

apprehensive says not overreacting absolutely weird behavior peeing in the later box through

and through it's only a bonus that either he is too stupid to realize you would be cleaning it up

or he knew you would have had to and wanted it either way there's no up to continuing to see this

guy honestly wouldn't meet up to talk with him I dated an undercover peaking person and it just

gets weirder started off with him wanting to pee in the toilet while I was in the shower which I

was fine with and that opened the door to wanting to pee in the shower when we were in it together

which I vehemently said no and he accidentally did a few times because he just couldn't hold it

and then finally he owned up that he was trying to prime me for pee play slowly getting closer

and closer to pee being a sex thing by introducing it while I was naked if you aren't into that kind

of thing just drop it now not worth either dating someone that dumb and inconsiderate or someone

trying to act on some kink ETA him also being so bad at cleaning up the litter that you had to

is also ridiculous I'll be rushing to the store to buy you a whole new box and new litter rather

than making someone else cleaning up lune says not overreacting the lack of judgment and impulse

control is going to be an issue in a multitude of other areas even if you are able to get over

this bizarre incident also the doctor thing says he's not going to take responsibility for the incident

not really I've been there oddly enough everything happens is met with an I don't know what's

wrong with me I should see a doctor on its face this is totally legitimate statement and concern

except when it applies to everything I can't work today because I have a headache

something is wrong with me I need a doctor not the last time I drank water was 1985 and I can't

be bothered to take care of my basic needs also of course I didn't try taking Tylenol I lost my

temper I don't know what's wrong with me and I need a doctor it's not because I have done nothing

to work on or maintain my emotional health ever in my life I won't start now unless it's a pill

and I can't do X I've diarrhea because something is really medically wrong with me it's not because

I've had nothing but pizza chips and energy drinks for the past two weeks it's exhausting

cart out now before you get attached unless you'd like living on the corner of the hyperchondria

and an adult child but now I'm gonna turn this one to you guys is this an automatic nope situation

for you or is there a way around it I think I already know your answer but let us know your thoughts

down in the comments below just a huge thank you for being here today getting involved in the

stories your love your support your time it always means the absolute world to me so thank you

so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one take care and much love