Go Ask Molly March 24

Go ask Molly what should you do?

She'll understand what you're going through

You need sage advice as you make a decision

You gotta measure twice and cut with precision

Sometimes it's yet sometimes it's no

Sometimes she'll just say, come on checkers

So let's go

So if you're confused and melancholy

Go ask Molly

And my question is what if you're confused but you're not melancholy

Or you're not confused but you are melancholy

That's a very question

Because if you're confused and melancholy

What if you're not both?

You bring up a really good point

And I think I have to be in the business

of just dealing with everybody

No matter what their state of melancholyness

Alright

The first question has been answered

Now let's answer the second one

So here we go

Are you ready for this?

Yep

This is from a person who gives us the initial J

That's it

Go ask Molly

My boss is awful

You're all afraid of them

I'm saying they and them because that's how they identify

And if you get it wrong you get punished

We can't figure out how they got to be the manager

We think they pulled some kind of discrimination crap

They're in charge of scheduling

So we're at their mercy

If they're mad at us

We get less hours

It's so hard we feel like we can't go up the chain of

If we go up the chain of command

It will backfire

They play that they them card

Always on the lookout for a slip up

What are your thoughts

Boy

Wow

I would hate to be in that person's shoes

I would be too

That's rough

And if you feel like they got there

Because of playing that card

In some way

You know

Why does boss have to be mean

How is that

If you're somebody who's directly in charge of you

That you know they

Got there and they shouldn't be

And they also

Give you the impression that going above their heads

Is not okay

But when I learned over the years

They should have gone above their heads

Because actually going above their heads probably wouldn't work

I mean

And this is all different settings

Because especially working in restaurants

And teaching

Oh my god the teaching

There was always horrible

But then the executive director was awesome

They always have these crappy middle people

I don't know what the deal

Why that is

But anyway

They're just a middle person

Let's start with some of the

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Trevor says time to abandon a ship

Find another job or group together with your fellow employees and tell your boss is boss

Until your grievances are hurting dealt with

But since this is now times

And I assume you don't have a union

Your only realistic option is to quit

Find another job

Sorry you're going through this

But if you've been some place

And you've built up

And let's see this pretend they're in a restaurant

I mean you know

They have clientele

You build up your employees

Put your time in there

Kind of sucks

John

John says start looking for another job

That is a person you're not going to change

And then Anne answered him

I agree with John start searching

When you leave make sure they know why

Good leadership leads up

And helps the team grow with grace and support

One day they may figure this out

But it'll be a long time from now

Sometimes that's the case

Sometimes they never figured out

Till they lose their business

Tamra says

Already amazing advice

And what I came here to say

Jay you're worthy

Of work environment that is supportive

And professional and not toxic and debilitating

You should never have to walk on eggshells

Or be afraid to express your concerns

This person is mentioned

As mentioned is a narcissist

And I don't believe it has anything to do with their pronouns

The right job is out there for you

And when you find it you should for sure

Have a meeting with the higher ups

And you should inform them of your experience

And then age says

Why are you not able to go up to the chain

Up the chain to their supervisor

If they are abusing their position

You need to document, gather evidence and report it

If it's just your word versus theirs

It may not go anywhere

If it goes anywhere

Then look for a new job

But if you like your current job

Fight for it

Tammy says find a new job

That is ridiculous

But see

Amanda says I agree

With John finding a new job

Maybe your only option to disconnect from the toxicity

I worked at a dental office

Where a manager was a narcissist

I think I was easy prey to her

Because I was the kind of young naive

Young naive

During that year my mental health spiraled

The only thing that saved me was leaving

From the text line Regina says

Everyone has a boss

To their boss

And then Bobby D says

Oh, I've lost it

Take time

Or time to look for another job

No one needs the stress every day

Yeah

That's hard though

It is hard

Think about just in our business

You know you say

Go look for another job

We were highs and lows of management

Sometimes it was great

Sometimes it was just leave us alone

Everything's fine

But whenever it was

There was no just go look for another job

In our position

Like you're not going to just go find it

You know, I mean

Eventually we were forced to do this

So I guess we did

But even when I was waiting tables

Even when I was teaching

I was dedicated to the kids

I didn't want to leave them

So I had to deal with the crappy management

Of the four-year-olds

And on their own

With the restaurant

It was the easiest

Because you weren't

But I love my co-workers

And you get into a routine

And with that

With what was good at the restaurant

Is that I would only run into this particular manager

Every third shift

Because they had different shifts

So we'd all fight to not be on theirs

But everybody had the same opinion

Because

Yeah

I don't know

I do think that they're

I think

They probably don't think you'll go up

But I like the idea of getting together

With the other people

And forget, leave out the pronoun

Because that is a hot button

And that's going to be a problem

So

But if they're just mean

And punishing you, I mean, you got to start documenting

What it is, if you can really document

That you accidentally call them him

Or he or whatever she

And you directly were impacted

Where your hours were lessened

And you can correlate that a couple of times

That you can't do that to somebody

There's a case there, but then you got to

You got to prove it

Then you got to go to the right people to present the case

And if they did get there

Through some other bosses mistake

Who knows what happened to get them there

And if they were doing something

And then they said

Well, I'm so mad about this

Unless you give me a promotion

I'm going to

And the reason they're being so mean is

Because maybe they don't really know how to do their job

And so maybe look at it from another angle

The reason they're being mean is

Because they know they're not

They shouldn't be there

They don't belong, they didn't earn their job

So a better defense is just to be mean

And awful and rule with an iron fist

We've dealt with that before

Yes

And

Also sometimes if somebody's mean in the workplace

You find out that they're doing something

They shouldn't be doing

And that has been my experience as well

Or perhaps they're doing something underhanded

Maybe they're stealing from the company

Maybe that's something to look at

So

I would

You got to start documenting

I'm getting more comments

And I'm just trying to get them to load up

I would stop

I would start documenting

Start looking for a new job

But also

I think they're right

Every boss has a boss

You just got to get to them

Although

There were bosses that we faced that I absolutely didn't think

I could get past them

And then I found out later after they got fired

That I should have come to the big boss

It's like, well, I keep threatened

We were told

And then who knows when they're in good graces

What how that would really go

Right after the fact

Oh, you should have told me he was such a problem

Well, you say that now

Who knows

There was new, I know one that came in from

Debbie on the text line says

Can you report without identifying yourself

Can you report without identifying yourself and do it

And then Melissa on the text line

And if you go to HR

HR is only there to protect the company

Sometimes it's better to go to an outside source

Yeah, and HR

We learn this the hard way too

They will tell

They're like little tattletail titties

As soon as you tell something

I'm sorry, but I have to report

It's obligation

They don't protect you either

They just blab it, tell you, tell it on the person

And then

Makes it worse. It absolutely makes the worse.

Uh-huh

Um, yeah

Sometimes there's unsolvable problems

I don't know

Yeah, I know

And I'm sorry for this, but I do think

Start

Get a group of people together

See if you have maybe their strength and numbers

And if depending on what kind of business it is

If it's a smaller business

And four or five people say

We're all walking if this person doesn't

Get fired or

Get a behavior change or something

That might tweak them up

Hence what the business is

I don't know. Good luck, Jay

Man, yeah

Good luck, read all the comments

People are very thoughtful comments for you

But that just sound a little bit

All right

I think that's it unless there's any more comments for them

You said all you can say

I think I said all I can say good luck