God Disciplines Those He Loves and Why We Can Be Encouraged by It (Hebrews 12:6 and Proverbs 3:12)

Hebrews 12:6 (quoting Proverbs 3:12) says, "God disciplines those he loves." Read or listen to this chapter of Enduring Trials God’s Way to learn why you can be encouraged by the bible verses about discipline. Table of contentsDo Not Confuse Trials and God's DisciplineThree Reasons to Be Encouraged When Experiencing God's DisciplineFirst, When Disciplined Be Encouraged You Are God's ChildSecond, When Disciplined Be Encouraged You Are in God’s HandsThird, When Disciplined Be Encouraged by the Fruit that Can Be ProducedWho Benefits from God’s Discipline?Discussion Questions You should expect trials, but when they take place, you do not have to wonder if you did something wrong! A woman wrote me about a miscarriage she experienced, asking if God was punishing her. It was heartbreaking. The miscarriage was painful enough without also having to wonder if it was her fault. It is tragic when people blame themselves for their trials. It is also tragic when people experience trials and “friends” try to get them to blame themselves! Job’s friends come to mind. They started off well “[sitting] down with him on the ground seven days and seven nights, and no one spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief was very great” (Job 2:13). This demonstrates what to do when people are suffering. The “Ministry of Presence” requires being a good listener. I received a good piece of advice when I first became a pastor: “If you cannot improve on silence, do not.” Solomon said there is “A time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7b), and “He who has knowledge spares his words” (Proverbs 17:27a). Unfortunately, Job’s friends did not follow these verses, and things went downhill after they opened their mouths. Eliphaz was the first to speak, and he summarized their argument in Job 4:7 when he asked, “Who ever perished being innocent? Or where were the upright ever cut off?” In other words, “When have bad things ever happened to good people?” Job’s friends wanted to convince him that since he suffered terribly, he must have sinned terribly. As much as Job’s friends initially showed what to do when people suffer, they later also showed what not to do—lecture, preach, say things like, “This is happening because…” or worse, “God would not be doing this if you...” At the end of the book, God showed up and “said to Eliphaz the Temanite, ‘My wrath is aroused against you and your two friends, for you have not spoken of Me what is right’” (Job 42:7). He was referring to their statements that people only suffer when they have done something wrong. In Jesus’ day, people thought if something bad happened it must have been caused by sin. Two accounts reveal that even the disciples held this false belief, and both times they expressed it Jesus corrected them: Pilate murdered some Galileans and a tower collapsed causing eighteen deaths. The disciples thought the people died because of their sinfulness, but Jesus said, “Do you suppose that these Galileans were worse sinners than all other Galileans, because they suffered such things? I tell you, no…Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them, do you think that they were worse sinners than all other men who dwelt in Jerusalem? I tell you, no” (Luke 13:2–5). When the disciples saw a blind man they asked Jesus: “‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ Jesus answered, ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned, but that the works of God should be revealed in Him’” (John 9:2–3). God wants to reveal Himself through trials and use them for our good, but we do not have to wonder if we did something wrong. We learned that a trial does not necessarily indicate wrongdoing, but sometimes we do bring on our own suffering. Do Not Confuse Trials and God's Discipline What happens if we suffer because we did something wrong? That is not a trial. That is discipline. The Apostle Peter identifies two causes of suffering: “For it is better, if it is the will of God, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil” (1 Peter 3:17). Suffering is part of God’s perfect and wise plan for His people even when they do good, but Peter wants his readers to avoid suffering caused by their sinfulness. As tragic as it is when people experience a trial and wonder if it is their fault, it is equally tragic when people sin, God disciplines them, and they think it is not their fault. Consider these examples from Scripture: After Moses struck the rock instead of speaking to it as God commanded, God said, “Because you did not believe Me, to hallow Me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land which I have given them” (Numbers 20:12). After David committed adultery with Bathsheba and murdered Uriah, God told him through the prophet Nathan, “The sword shall never depart from your house, because you have despised Me, and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife” (2 Samuel 12:10). After Jehoshaphat entered an alliance with evil King Ahaziah to build ships, God told him through the prophet Eliezer, “‘Because you have allied yourself with Ahaziah, the Lord has destroyed your works.’ Then the ships were wrecked” (2 Chronicles 20:37). These men suffered because of their sins. It would be incorrect to say they experienced trials. It would be correct to say God disciplined them. The same is true of the negative consequences of foolish decisions. Imagine the following: People lose their jobs, because they slacked off for years People’s finances are tight, because of years of impulsive purchases People are diagnosed with diabetes, because of years of gluttonous eating People are in miserable marriages, because they ignored their parents’ warnings about the spouses they married These are not trials! These are the consequences of exercising poor judgment. These people were “led astray by their own great folly” (Proverbs 5:23b). Sometimes people sin, are disciplined, and then say, “Why am I suffering?” If friends love them enough to be honest, they will answer, “Because of your disobedience.” Although there are rewards for enduring trials (See chapter 6), it is not the same with discipline. When we “[do] evil” and suffer because of it, God expects us to humbly accept it: “For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently?” (1 Peter 2:20a). Three Reasons to Be Encouraged When Experiencing God's Discipline Although this might sound discouraging because there is no “credit” for receiving God's discipline, there are many benefits! Hebrews 12:11a says, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant.” How true are these words! Yes, discipline hurts, but the author of Hebrews also provides reasons believers can be encouraged when disciplined. First, When Disciplined Be Encouraged You Are God's Child Hebrews 12:6–8 records: “…For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. When we sin and God disciplines us, we can be encouraged that He does so because He loves us. We want to be confident in our salvation, and experiencing discipline allows us to say, “God is my Father. I am His child.” When I see other people’s children misbehaving, I do not discipline them because they are not my children. God acts similarly toward unbelievers. Sometimes people sin and it looks like “they are getting away with it.” Either God is giving them time to repent, or they are not His children. Second, When Disciplined Be Encouraged You Are in God’s Hands Prior to pastoring, I taught elementary school for almost ten years. When students disobeyed, I regularly found myself wondering what the appropriate punishment would be—detention, suspension, time out, or call parents? Circumstances make things even more complicated. What is the punishment for a student who lies once, versus a student who demonstrates a pattern of deceitfulness? What about a student who mistreated a student for no reason, versus a student who acted out when provoked? Once, when my class was walking in a line, a notoriously cruel student repeatedly flicked another student’s ear. This went on for a while, revealing significant self-control from the student being picked on. Finally, he turned around and kicked the bully as hard as he could. What was an appropriate punishment for the student who kicked the other student? Part of me wanted to congratulate him for standing up to someone who intimidated others. As a parent, I face the same question when disciplining my children. Ephesians 6:4a says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath.” Sometimes I ask myself, “I addressed this with my children before, if I bring it up again, will I be exasperating them?” While Katie and I pray almost daily for wisdom raising our children, we do not know absolutely that we are doing what is right. Hebrews 12:9–10 describes the situation: “We have had human fathers who…chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness.” As parents, we do what “seems best to us,” but when God disciplines us we can be encouraged He is doing what “profits” us. We never have to wonder if He is acting too severely, choosing the wrong punishment, or failing in some other way. Consider the situation that took place with David after he sinfully numbered the people. God sent the prophet Gad to rebuke him and give him the choice between three different punishments. Second Samuel 24:12–14 records: [Gad told] David, “Thus says the Lord: ‘I offer you three things; choose one of them for yourself, that I may do it to you.