Having a Hissy Fit on Cobra-lalalalala! | G.I.Joe A Real American Hero The Movie

The cell cast is recorded in front of a live streaming audience.

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Cellcast.

Joining me today is a man who searches for bombs while his friend searches Droughts the Car.

Welcome Jacob.

Hey, I've got to do nose. Come on, why not?

Why thank you, let me use a collar your nose remember it goes.

Exactly.

Fruit loops.

This is a snout not a beak.

Hey.

Why thank you, let me use our co-host.

A man who, oh my gosh, if you didn't start, stop screaming and co-

I'm going to run my head into a wall.

Welcome, Drew.

I have opinions about that particular character that will come up later.

How toyed it can you get?

Oh my gosh.

I'm kidding.

Also, because this is his Patreon pic.

Joining us tonight is a man who, uh, well, he sounds like Sarscream and he's not Skeletor.

But he is, he is a Nate Marchand, of the Monster Island convolt.

Yes, I, hello cell nation.

I am Nate Marchand, the host of such podcasts.

Yes, as the Monster Island convolt and Henshin Power V3, the founder of tonight's

speech and the destroyer of Jacob.

I once was a man.

No, seriously, all I have to do to wreck Jacob and to reel this entire podcast is just say

Diabetic Skeletor.

And we're already on that path.

Oh my gosh.

Yes.

Again, I will draw that if you do a clip of it.

If I clip that up for those who don't know, don't listen to my season premiere, where these

gentlemen joined me.

And then yes, Jimmy, I'm getting to that.

We was over Ultraman, the adventure begins and animated Ultraman movie made by Hannah

Barbarra of all people in a same year as this, actually, from 1987.

And I brought them on because we're covering Ultraman movies on M.I.

of V this season, the ultra journey is what we're calling it.

And then the diabetes joke landed in the Veggie Tells episode.

Yes.

We landed.

I like, I listened back to that episode and I'm like, I can follow the trait of thought that

got us here, but it's a very weird train.

Yes.

It's a special episode and context.

Yes.

A very long context.

So point where I actually forgot about it until I heard your episode.

And then you talked about it.

Oh, it's like at that point.

You guys still promote right?

Yes.

But that's what we do.

So what are we watching today?

Since it's Nate's patron pic.

Why don't you tell us what we're watching.

Yeah.

Something action, action man right?

Action.

Action, action, action, action, action.

And the saviors of the Autobots and Decepticons.

Thundercats were all right.

I love the he man and Star Wars.

Anyway, we're talking about GI Joe the movie from 1987.

Because you guys already covered Transformers.

We did.

So I was like, you guys now got to talk about the other movie.

by basically the same team with some of the same cast members that was on the sister

show to transformers.

Right.

Well, now what you need to do to complete the Trimogy, you guys do my little pony move.

Well later this year, we are doing a little pony move, but not my little pony, the movie.

Don't make me, don't make me sponsor it.

I've never seen it, never had a desire to see it, I have to complete the set.

I have seen it.

I've seen more ponies than I care to mention, we're not going down that road just yet.

Okay, Jimmy, I get it.

Geez.

I didn't really, seriously, you're a Brody.

I don't want to talk about it.

All right.

It's good to know that Jimmy enjoys the pretty past up ponies, earning a press digitation

of companionship.

What he said.

Yes, we are doing GI Joe, are we surviving this episode?

No, he's not.

We are doing GI Joe, a real American hero, I'm using the full full name, the movie.

Why don't we go ahead and jump into the spoiler free section?

Years.

Certified fresh and spoiler free.

Not only is this the first time I've watched this particular film, this is the first time

I've watched anything related in any way, shape or form to GI Joe, which I went into this

Bapples, man.

Absolutely, and utterly, completely blind.

The only thing I knew connected to this as a cover commander, because how do you not

know cover commander, he's everywhere on the internet, he's discounted Skeletor for

being honest.

Wow, wow, I see we're going with this, wow, coming out, swinging, and my only other knowledge

of anything like this was on the website, homestarrunner.com, with the original commander, which we

also have our pleasure.

So this is my only knowledge of any of this, and it, oh my gosh, let me just say going

into this blind, I was lost for, well, with the exception of the first couple of minutes,

I think that's there, that's that I was able, I was able to go go on, don't mean the character.

Oh, where, where's my, where is it?

There you go, but I was lost for a good half hour going, wait, who is what now?

I'm just like, which one of these is actually the main GI Joe?

I don't know what's actually named GI Joe, I have expected will someone to be, okay, crash

course in the.

I don't do the, yeah, I know it was snake eyes, yeah, I don't think I was in this.

Yeah, GI Joe is like transformers.

It's an ensemble.

Yes.

In fact, I listened to the commentary, I watched this movie twice, this week in preparation,

time with the commentary, and it was commented by Buzz Dixon, and which I'm going to have to,

depending on what your info and stuff and all that, it says I may have to clarify some

things there.

But he was, he was, I'll just say it now, he basically says like, yeah, the only reason

I didn't get listed as a screenwriter is because Ron Freeman had a contract.

Yeah.

They created it solely as writer, but he said basically he wrote the final draft of the script

and almost nothing that Ron Freeman had came through other than, I think he said, like

nemesis enforcer.

Yeah, that was the, that was the order, yeah, yeah, so he, he said that there were 86 speaking

characters on GI Joe, and he said, we were, that was the largest cast of any cartoon other

than transformers.

Yes.

And he said later, they were eclipsed by the Simpsons, which now has 300 yes, and I

will say I am not reading every cast member on this.

I did narrowing down because we would be here all night.

Yeah.

So it's an ensemble show.

But if you're talking about, there's your crash course in the history of the character.

Part of this, I did not just find out until I went to an army surplus store in my hometown,

and I found World War II era, like, oh, I'm going to get into the manuals.

I am going to get into the whole, we're doing GI Joe came from.

Okay.

Then never mind.

Because a certain person who was in this was in a movie from World War II about GI Joe.

So we will get to that.

Yeah.

And fun fact, in the second live action GI Joe movie, Bruce Willis played the original

GI Joe.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah.

Which was interesting.

So you went.

I went into this completely blind.

I think I wrote, I knew some characters from Osmosis besides, besides Cobra Commander,

like I knew, I knew the Baroness on site, because I'm sure how do you not know the Baroness

on site.

I knew basically why the, why each of the Joe's was dressed up the way they were.

I kind of knew that's like, okay, Cobra's the bad guys, the Joe's are the good guys.

And this is going to be America on television, and it's great as on television, basically.

Yeah.

Yeah.

This is the biggest or my propaganda thing you could do at the time.

Which we will, I have some things related to that to say, I will say that this isn't one

of my dislikes, like, well, I listed as a potential dislike, but I won't use it now.

This is not a self-contained movie.

No, it is not.

No, no.

I don't think you need to have seen as much of the show as, you know, you don't have to

have seen the entirety of the show before this just seasons one and two.

I would say, no, there's only two seasons at this point.

I would say, like, if the other seasons were after this, I would say, yeah, I would say,

which we'll talk about, because boy, howdy, because they, yeah, the deep seasons are

a major step down, but I give them credit, they try to follow up the movie, they didn't

just do a reboot.

They attempted to do a follow up.

It's a weird follow up, but they tried to follow up, but I would say if you had seen

a smattering of season one, if you had seen the five part season premiere of season two,

you would probably be able to follow this movie five.

I did not.

This was the first day of watching and great, that first five minutes, I was like, on

the floor, it's like, oh, yeah, go, Joe, all that kind of stuff.

It's a yo Joe, sorry, yo, Joe, go, Joe, what are some iterations?

They say go, Joe and it's stupid, either way.

And then literally, like the next scene, I'm completely thrown off by first by a credit

that we'll get to, because it's like, wait a minute, how does that work?

I know exactly what you talk about, and I can explain.

I at least what to because I have to look it up.

I pause the movie to look it up.

I think I know why.

Yeah, we will explain.

We will explain.

We get to the cast list, but I watch it's going, okay, what is, who are these people?

Why does this one guy look like he's got, I don't know, it is, I followed what happened.

I'm not going to say you shouldn't go watch it, but yeah, definitely, I think you should

watch some other, I'm going to be honest, as much as I know, you guys love Transformers

the movie, but Transformers the movie is not self-contained, no, no, no, no, no, no,

it's not.

It is, but for whatever reason, I, and this made, maybe it's just because I run it into

Transformers stuff more often.

I feel like culturally, through culture, as most of us, you would actually know some

of this stuff, especially around the times we were reviewing those episodes, because we

did have the Bayformers-era stuff, and Transformers has been constantly, constantly on television,

almost for 30, 30 years now, 30, 40 years now, like there's, I don't, it seems like every

time I turn around, there's a new series of Transformers.

Oh, yeah.

Turtles.

Turtles is the same.

What?

I have watched very little Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but I know who I'll care, I

know who I'll make Turtles, but Ninja Turtles benefits from having a much smaller cast.

It does.

It does, but it's so true.

Because don't ask me who half the villains are, but, because I know very few, but this

I'm going into and going, okay, I don't, like the first, like for the most part, I followed

the scenes with Cobra at the beginning, but the next scene where they're at the BET and

I'm laughing my, my head off, it's like, isn't that the Black Entertainment Television

Network?

I made that joke in my notes as well.

Fun fact, according to Buzz Dixon, that was, that, and it predates it, I think, but yeah,

that yes it does.

That do Hickey was inspired by the work of Nicolas Tesla.

Nope.

I think it is.

I figured that.

But there, all these people are talking and going, I don't know you, I don't know you,

I don't know you.

Oh, you sound like that, that rhyming guy on Cheek Commandos, I don't know you.

It's like, I got one, I followed one thing, it's like, all I know is like, you're a bunch

of army men who are setting up this death laser, basically, death laser, I'm sorry, I'm

sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Wasn't that a freezer move?

That, that was a death beam, that was death beam, but I would definitely say as someone

who went into this blind, did not know who any of these characters were.

If you want to go watch GI Joe the movie and you want to get past the amazing opening,

you should watch the rest of the, some more of the other show, just to know who these

people are.

Because for the most part, I was clueless, clueless and I will admit the, the from the

first line of this, I was like out.

Oh, wow.

I may not be the highest rated rating person on this episode, perhaps some of you might

be wondering, why the heck did, in case you missed when I announced this, you know, because

I was, when the last time I was on the show, I was like, here's my Patreon pick.

Well, because I made you guys choose.

Yeah.

You pick this one without knowing it.

And I was like, why did you pick this one?

There are Kaiju in this movie.

Yes, there are.

There are a few minutes, but there are GI Joe here fighting Kaiju.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Snake Kaiju.

Bug Kaiju.

Furns.

Oh, the bug.

That poor man.

Oh my god.

Oh, the poor man.

That is one of, that is one, because this is a childhood favorite of mine.

I don't know how many times I've watched it, it's, it might be up in the 10 range.

I'm not sure.

I'm not sure.

The one of the weirdest ways that I watched this is believe it or not.

They split this up into five parts to show during the week on TV, they used to do that

at the time.

With brand new host segments featuring Sergeant Slotter, of course, who would introduce, it

would introduce it and then do the, the preview for the next part.

And then the show would be, or it was just, they just put it in rotation with the reruns

of the show.

It was wild.

So.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So that was, so that was one way that I saw it.

And then I've seen it since then, so the uncut version, I own the blue ray, I will,

I will say the reason I think is the blue ray is actually in white screen.

Yeah.

I watched it once on 2B and it's the standard dev version that's letter box, which

is the version I watched, which is unfortunate because it looks great in white screen.

Imagine that I watched, I found the opening on YouTube, which is ripped from the blue

ray.

And it's like, why is this not the version that's on 2B?

Well, the weird thing is, is that the show factory set that I have, which miraculously

came to me undabbed, because shut factory's quality control is the worst, tell me about

it.

It included the DVD version and the DVD version for whatever reason, even though it has

all the same special features, but it has a different menu.

That's in full frame, but the blue ray is wide.

I can understand that situation.

Yes.

But to explain why I never watched GI Joe, it just never came up on TV when I was watching

it.

I was a little bit about this during the retro cartoon episode.

Yeah.

I was a little old for the, I was a little young for the show in an air because I wasn't

born clear, or I was just barely born.

By the time, by the time we got to the 90s, I don't think any GI Joe was on TV at the

time.

No, there was no real reason.

Yeah, there was.

And then GI Joe extreme in the mid 90s, that didn't last long.

That's in that weird air, where it's like, well, there was nothing new and that probably

was something more interesting on another channel when it was on television.

So yeah, I just never got around to it.

And I've still yet to even see the live action movies.

Oh, okay.

I didn't kind of, I wasn't having the nostalgia for GI Joe.

I wasn't exactly.

And then you see that it's safe, it's, it's, it's Michael Bay or in the style of Michael

Bay.

It's not Michael Bay.

It's in the style of the Bay of Bay formers.

No, it's not, not really the first one.

Well, it came across that way.

Yeah.

Rise of Cobra was a massive disappointment for me, despite the fact that they had some

brilliant casting in it.

They did weird stuff with the characters.

Right.

I agree.

Never on my radar.

Christopher Ecclister was Destro.

That should have been brilliant, but it was not.

And don't you mean it should have been fantastic?

Yes, fantastic.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

Continue.

Yeah.

And then, and then the sequel retaliation, it's better, but they try to basically sweep

the first movie under the rug.

And they don't do it very well.

And then I felt like they missed out completely again with their casting because they cast

Dwayne the Rock Johnson as roadblock, who speak, that's the guy who speaks in rhyme.

And the rock would do that when he was a professional wrestler sometimes.

He would speak in rhyme.

I'm like, this is perfect casting.

He does it for one.

He does it in one scene.

It never does it again.

Yeah.

And when he did it, he was quoting song lyrics, I was like, talk about wasting, wasting what

you have right there.

What?

It's just.

Yeah.

It disappointed me.

Yeah.

So I will say this.

And maybe I'll sponsor this sometime.

The best GI Joe anything I've ever seen is GI Joe Resolute, which was a web series of

like three minute episodes that got edited together into a complete movie.

Ah.

Ah.

Absolutely.

Fantastic.

Got you.

Jacob, what are your spoiler free thoughts?

All right.

So, spoiler free thoughts for GI Joe, the movie.

I grew up a GI Joe fan, yo, Joe, I watched this all the time with transformers with

thunder cats.

Oh, that was, that was my childhood, like every, every weekday weekend, what have you

watched this?

I remember watching this as a very young child.

I think we rented this because my big brother was having eye surgery and we rented that

along with he managed he risk to go to the sword on the same night.

I think.

And we reviewed that too.

We have.

I thoroughly, I feel like I enjoyed this movie when I was a kid because I think we watched

it twice as a kid with children and I enjoyed it.

I thought it was a little bit odd and I was like, okay, this is cool.

It's GI Joe.

Okay, this is awesome.

You have greatest opening ever for an animated movie ever.

And then I watched it for this review and again, great opening, be like I knew most of

the characters.

I can remember most of them.

And then you start getting into the story where two plot lines, which probably shouldn't

work together really don't work that well.

I was, I watched it and I was like slightly disappointed, just be honest.

I was very.

I was slightly disappointed without how, how executed it was because I understand me like

they had two obligations they had to do with co-bro law and all this other stuff had to

make it make sense.

Yeah.

Well, and let me tell you a buzz, buzz Dixon gets into that whole thing and basically the

reason why this movie is the way it is is you've heard of Bandai mandates.

He's where has bro Mandate and what buzz Dixon in the commentary, explain what their original

idea was going to be and I'm like, yeah, should have fought him because it sounds better

than this.

I, I, spoiler warning, I don't think this is as good as Transformers the movie.

No, I don't think it holds up quite quite as well.

And the other thing they could have a different decisions were made.

Yeah.

It's a different decision.

It's a good lord.

It's a good lord.

They made it.

They made it weird.

Yeah.

I will say this Drew.

I will say this for you Drew, this movie is not an entirely accurate representation of

the show.

No, it's not.

It is, which is weird because the, you could say the same thing about Transformers, about

Transformers the movie, but it still feels of the show even though they do a massive time

jump and everything.

But this feels very, this actually does feel different than the show because the show

would get fantastical, get very pulpy, and science fiction all that, but not nearly this

level of greed, agreed, agreed, agreed, and then the weird thing was when the dikes

show started, other than the opening five-parter, they went, they did very comparatively, very

mundane stories after that, much more down the earth.

And that is one of many reasons why the dikes series is not as well liked and the reception

to this movie for what I've been able to gather in the GI Joe fandom is very mixed, which

is weird.

Yeah, I imagine.

Which is, and I don't think that's really shifted all that much, which is interesting

because the Transformers movie used to be hated by the fandom, and now it's beloved.

Yeah, it's highly beloved.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The GI Joe movie did not experience that.

Well, the thing was, like after the, you know, spoiler for a 40-year-old movie now that

they killed off Optimus Prime in the movie, in which that shattered so many children's

and kids in the nightmares for that.

And so when Hasbro has learned about this is, oh no, we have to do some changes and we

get that later.

But at the same time.

That's going to come up later too.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

I was going to say, there's a timeline for all of this.

I have, I have a suspicion that some of our likes and dislikes are going to be the

same.

Possibly.

That's why I always have backups just in case, but before we move on, hey, Jimmy, you got

any opinions on this?

Why am I not surprised that you would claim to have been a member of GI Joe, of course

you were.

I mean, at least he wasn't in Cobra.

Yeah, at least he wasn't in Cobra.

What was your call sign out of curiosity?

Private.

Private.

Widget.

And slaughter must have had a heyday with you anyway.

That's unfortunate.

The theory.

I guess a little bit good names were taken, I guess.

So despite the fact that you have definitely made your spoiler free thoughts known throughout

our spoiler free thoughts.

I know.

I basically, I basically said all of them.

You know, because that kind of, you did step over you guys, but you did a little bit.

So I broke, I broke a protocol, send me to the slaughterhouse right now.

There have to be a commercial, send me to the slaughterhouse.

So I'll, I'll, you know, I'll be back in, I don't know, a couple of weeks probably.

Yeah.

So let, let me ask you a question, Nate.

There's a sound I haven't heard in a while.

That's true.

So I was going to ask you ever since you've cut, you've already, you know, kind of expanded

upon it.

Be like, did you watch the I Joe as a kid?

Yes.

Okay.

Okay.

That's good.

Because it was what, if you listened to the retro cartoons episode that I did with Drew,

was it ever in the hair and how he was or is that just like a one on three last last

year when I had a, Jacob had some emergency hospital stuff to take care of.

Yeah.

I don't remember if that was when your dad was having the issues or that's when you

were, you were having the, I was having, I was having the kidney issues.

Yeah.

That's right.

Oh, that's right.

The, the infamous kid, the infamous kidney problems.

Anyway, I was trying to make sure we had something going on.

And I said in that episode that when I was a child, a, a GI Joe was one of my top three.

Okay.

I was curious.

Yeah.

It was that.

Yeah.

It was that plus transformers, plus thunder cats, those were, you know, those were the

three that little Nate, like, enjoyed the most.

Yeah.

He man.

Didn't get into he man.

Oh, okay.

I got, I got into he man.

I didn't really get into a, she was much because they're going to, it was, you know, more

of a girl show.

But fair, fair.

This wasn't my thing except for the secret of the sword.

Love that.

That was cool.

I don't care.

She's easy as all.

I mean, that was basically, let's introduce she, so we can make a, make a, I, I spent

off show.

Exactly.

I cannot, I mean, honestly, I cannot wait until they finally do the third part for the

he man revelation part three, where they put, they turn out a, um, destra, mm-hmm.

Yeah.

I mean, like, okay, come on.

Let's go.

Let's go because we know they've got the cast.

They know they recorded everything.

So let's just get done.

Anyway.

Yes.

Why don't we go ahead and jump into the spoiler filled section of this review?

Yes.

The following is a spoiler filled review for the film.

GI Joe.

Listener discretion is advised.

GI Joe, a real American hero, the movie was directed by Don Jarwetch, who also directed

media episodes of the Spider-Man 1981 television series.

Mm-hmm.

It was written by Don Friedman, Buzz Dixon and Roger Slyther.

Oh, so they actually include all the, the proper.

So IMDB had it separated by the different things.

I've just combined them all into one because it makes sense here like I said, listening

to the commentary buzz, Dixon said like basically wrote the final draft of the script and

it's very different than what Friedman had.

Yeah.

It is based on the original, the GI Joe action figure series of toys originally created

by Stan Weston and the GI Joe real American hero television series developed by Ron Friedman

Steve Gerber and Buzz Dixon.

Yeah, Steve Gerber of comic book fame, creator of Howard the Duck.

That is true.

Oh my gosh.

That actually explains some stuff.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And you did not mention that, you know, GI Joe goes farther back than that, but getting

to that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I did because technically I started with the GI Joe action figures that were created by

Stan Weston.

But if you're talking about the other term, we'll get into that when we get to a certain

cast.

Got it.

That's right.

Moving on.

Getting into the cast, Lieutenant Falcon was played by Don Johnson.

Yeah.

So this is, and he was trying to, he was, he played Detective James Crockett on the television

series Miami Vice.

Oh, and he would, I remember, I didn't see Miami Vice.

I remember he had a show in the 90s that I caught for a while, but he was also a cop.

I can't remember what it's called.

Nash Bridges.

That's where it is.

Yeah.

But this is a like Transformers the movie.

They, they were breaking the mold here and we're getting actual celebrities to voice

the character.

Indeed.

Indeed.

Cooper Commander, a river and gun hoe were voiced by Chris Lada, who's apparently also

goes on, goes by Christopher Collins on IMDB.

And he was star scream on Transformers.

That's what's rising at all.

It's not.

It's the same voice.

Yeah.

It's the same voice.

He was actually a standup comedian as well.

Really?

I could say that.

Yeah.

Sir Pentor, Sir Pentor was voiced by Dick Gautier and he was hot rodded Rodinus Prime

in the Transformers.

In the show.

Not the show.

In the show.

In the show.

Not the movie, but the show.

Yes.

Yeah.

Cause like I said, these were made by the same people.

So there's a lot across the world.

A lot across the world.

Between the cast and the writers and everything.

Go on animation studio.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Galobulous was played by Burgess Meredith.

Oh, yeah.

That's right.

Who was Amar and Clash of the Titans, Mickey and Rocky and the penguin in Batman 1966.

And that was like, oh, this will hopefully make Drew happy.

Maybe.

I mean, he was from an acting point of view, one of the brighter spots of this film.

I mean, he's, I looked him up really quick and he's considered to be one of the most

accomplished actors of the 20th century, but I propose to this.

He was also, he also played the character of Ernie Pyle in the movie, the story of G.I.

Joe from the 1940s about world that took place about the actual soldier is a duck.

Oh, a doctor drama basically about soldiers in World War II.

Oh, I didn't know this.

That is where the turn, well, G.I.

Joe comes from.

Yeah.

The term, the slang term used for soldiers because it would be general issue, Joe.

And that was made popular outside of the military by that film.

Yeah.

Well, I also know I was going to bring up, I was at an Army surplus store in my hometown.

And I found these instructional manuals, World War II era that were given to soldiers.

And there was this soldier character who was supposed to, you know, because they had

these little illustrations and it was explaining how, you know, you do certain things when you're

in the Army or whatever.

Yeah.

And the character's name in those manuals and it said it on the current cover was G.I.

Joe.

Yeah.

Fun.

Fun fact for that.

And Burgess Meredith actually was in a bunch of the G.I. training videos back during World

War II.

Sue, so.

And fun.

And also fun fact, most of those manuals and pamphlets were drawn by Disney artists.

Yeah.

So there you go.

There's like, there's all this connected.

Yeah.

Yeah.

A lot of them.

Jinks was voiced by Shuko Akune and in the, this is not the 90s ER show.

This was a, an 80s one.

Oh, okay.

She played Maria Armardo.

Hmm.

Uh, Duke, Zammoth, lift ticket and blowtorch were voiced by Michael Bell.

And he was prowl in the Transformers.

Nice.

I met him.

I can mention really sergeant slaughter was played by sergeant slaughter and he was sergeant

slaughter in the N.W.W.F.

Yes.

And that's all he, that's his entire career right there in one line.

Okay.

This was the line that confused me when I saw it.

All right.

Here's my personal interpretation.

By the way.

His, his, his Bob Remus, by the way.

Yeah.

And Buzdix and told the whole story about where the wrestling is.

I was just slaughtered.

The wrestling character came from.

It's really interesting.

But here's my personal interpretation of this.

I think what they're saying is that this is sergeant slaughter.

The wrestler playing sergeant slaughter.

The GI Joe character because they are not exactly the same.

No, that's true.

So that's why it's that sergeant slaughter as himself.

Because the, the GI Joe sergeant slaughter is a little different.

Yes.

A little bit different enough.

But admittedly, admittedly, though, when I was watching those opening credits, I'm seeing,

you know, Don Johnson is Lieutenant Falcon and Burgess Meredith as, as a globulous.

Go obvious.

And then sergeant slaughter.

And I go, wait, what?

Yeah.

Because, and I think it might also be a contract, a contract thing because sergeant slaughter

had to quit WWF at the time.

Yes.

To be on the show.

He was contacted by the, by the people making a show because his character showed up in season two.

Yeah.

So they contacted him and said, Hey, we want to make a toy out of your wrestling persona

and have you on the cartoon.

He wanted to jump at it immediately.

He's like, I want to do this.

Right.

But WWE wouldn't let him do it unless you can't do that while you're wrestling.

So he quit wrestling while he was on the show.

So he could be in the toy line and be on the cartoon because, and it was all because

WWE had licensed their toys to a different company other than Hasbro.

Right.

But that does bring up an interesting question.

He was to this.

And does bring up an interesting question because I know that Dwayne Johnson cannot be credited

as the rock unless WWE signs off on it.

Yes.

He has to be credited as Dwayne Johnson.

So how did he get away with still being sergeant slaughter?

How much than Hasbro A.

That I don't know.

I don't know the legalities of all that.

But that's I think that might have been a contributor to it.

But I also think as they're making it.

It's like the wrestler and the GI Joe character are not exactly the same.

Right.

They're very similar, but they are not the same.

Right.

Beachhead was played by Bill Callaway.

And the thing he is on the most is a single character was on the Smurfs as Clumsy Smurf.

Okay.

All righty.

I couldn't pass that one up.

General Hawk was played by Ed Gilbert.

And on Tattoo Teenage Daily and Fighters from Beverly Hills.

He played Emperor Gorganis.

Oh my gosh.

I keep hearing about that.

It was the main villain in the history of Tocosatsu.

Yes he was.

And that's probably the only time I'll get away with talking about Tattoo Teenage Daily and Fighters from Beverly Hills.

And don't we get to that one episode of Dragon Balls of your bridge?

Oh my gosh.

Yes.

It's all you have heard of that.

Oh yeah.

Really go on.

People.

People.

You do not understand.

It's the worst one.

It's the worst Power Rangers class.

Out of all of the attempts to cash in on Power Rangers.

It's the very worst one.

Which is saying something.

It was completely American produced.

And they clearly had no idea how to make Tocosatsu.

No.

Clearly.

Anyway.

It even occurred to even think about it.

And the insane thing is I saw the DVD set for that show.

Jump from dirt cheap to one kidney.

Almost overnight.

So they should wish you bought it when it was dirt cheap.

So here's the question.

I thought it was overpriced when it was dirt cheap.

But now you could have had a pretty penny.

That is true.

That is true.

So here's the question.

Me like, would you rather have that?

Or a mask writer?

Mask writer?

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

You know, Lengenstein in Teenage Dude Ninja Turtles.

Oh my gosh.

Oh my gosh.

How did I not pick up on that?

Oh my god.

Yeah, you're not kidding.

Oh my gosh.

In my parents, I had to look up, she was.

Okay.

I remember this person who looks like they escaped Alvin in the chipmunks.

So you're telling me...

You're telling me this woman had such rage.

You could play the mousey little office girl and a reptilian fanfatal.

Yes.

Wow. Law was played by Ron Ortiz. And this is his only credit. Poor guy because it's

not very obvious they were setting up for these characters to continue. And it didn't

until another show and they didn't and I bet you they didn't use his casers.

Yeah. And spoiler warning. Oh, I think this guy never got another acting role in his life.

Well, I'm just think it's like I don't think any of the characters introduced in this movie

ever came back. And irony of ironies as we'll get into a certain character who was supposed to die

who doesn't die. Yes. Even when they even when deep did it's revival and we may ostensibly

made seasons three and four. He's hardly in it. That is true. So true. It is so weird.

It is so weird. I agree. Good to you. Dr. Mindbender was played by Brian Cummings.

And do you remember all those 90s Disney trailers? Oh my gosh. The boys say coming soon on Disney DVD.

I don't know. I guess that's that's the guy. That's that guy. That's Brian Cummings.

Brian Cummings. Wow. Is he related to Jim? I don't think so. Okay.

The Baroness was played by Morgan Lofty. And she was Aunt May in the 1981 Spider-Man cartoon.

Oh, wow. Spider-Man is amazing. That's a second person. No, there's a reason for that.

Oh, okay. No, no, not in it. The director worked on it. Yeah. That's okay.

Zandar, Nemesis and Forcer and a scientist was played by Peter Cullen.

Of course, he was often his prime and the transformers.

The voice of one of the boys. King Kong in 1976 is King Kong and he was uncredited.

I had to get that in there before you said it. And he was the predator.

So there you go. There you go. He was basically one of the voices of my childhood.

Fair. So I do have to say, like, you did miss one of the characters. As a child, I love to that.

Scarlet. I don't remember Scarlet in this. Scarlet's in it.

Oh, Scarlet's in it. She doesn't talk. She says one of the blank and you blank in your

miss her. Yeah, she's barely in it. Like, oh my gosh, what are you doing?

Because I mean, honestly, I had a crush on Scarlet when I was a kid, like a little kid. Okay.

I don't remember Scarlet as much as I do, Lady J for some odd reason in the show.

Okay, I know you're talking to another that I've got. Yeah, pick your head with a crossbow.

And yeah, she barely has a role in this. Yes.

Yeah, like major blood. One of the cobras is only in the opening. Yeah, they just disappear.

Completely understandable. I was going to be nice and bring it up, but I can't find it fast enough.

No worries, no worries, no worries. Kingdom Hearts connections. Yes.

How many we got? Yeah, Nate.

At this large of a cast, albeit it's like 15 years before Kingdom Hearts, even started.

That didn't matter. But continue. Yeah, maybe three.

Jake five. Five. Okay. Anyone in the chat? Artsy says three.

The answer is one, two, five, thirty, sir. Take it. Eat it, Roy.

The answer is four. Four. Four. That was not planned.

And he, the fun part of this, I haven't mentioned any other names yet.

Oh, well, it's a produs because the one who was pretty well get it.

That's right.

That's what I asked.

Frank Walker, who was Torch and Wild Bill in this.

Oh, yeah, I forgot. Yeah, he would have used in Kingdom Hearts. That's at least one.

Abu and experiment, Abu and experiment two to one sparking in Kingdom Hearts.

Uh-huh. That's because half of this man's career is voicing animals.

But the fact that he's only in two or less two roles in all of Kingdom Hearts is crazy to make.

Rob Poulson. Surprise, surprise.

Well, snow job in this. And he is like two lines.

He was Jacques and the Grand Duke in Kingdom Hearts and Grey Fox in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate.

Uh-huh.

Because Smash Brothers Ultimate is a Kingdom Hearts game.

Cory Burton, who was Tomax in this in Kingdom Hearts, he played,

Captain Hook, the White Rabbit, Dorknob, Flossam, Jetson, Dizz,

Dance from the Wisedale, Jinson, Master Control Program, Santa Claus,

Sark, Shen, you, the Pendler, and the Magic Mirror.

So half the cast got it.

No, that's not even half the cast. That's maybe a that's maybe a 30 second.

He just he picked up a lot of roles at the uh the celebrity's left when they decided not to return.

Right.

But Christopher Lee, his two roles.

Good to you.

Lastly, Greg Berger, who was motor Viper in this,

have no idea who that was.

He is E or in Kingdom Hearts.

Uh-huh.

And that brings me to the bottom.

You know, who else he was?

Who else?

Who?

Me Grimlock.

Yes, he was Grimlock.

Uh-huh.

Grimlock.

And I have met him too.

And that brings me to the end of the Kingdom Hearts connections.

Jacob, what do we got in info and stuff?

All right.

So info and stuff.

IMDB has a 5.7 out of 10 right tomatoes.

This is a 33 at and its audience score is 50.

Wow.

Uh, you can you can rinse it on Amazon via for 3 to 9.

I'm physical media.

If you can buy it for 1899, it's a 4K digital Blu-ray.

And it was on prime.

Wait, let me ask you this.

Before you go.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

on the Amazon one.

Is that the version you watched?

No.

You watched the two be like I did.

Maybe.

So you don't know if the Amazon one on Amazon

was widescreener or a full screener on Amazon.

This is the information I looked up.

So you, okay, that's why I was in,

it was a widescreen though.

Are you talking about streaming or the blue ray?

I'm talking about purchasing,

I thought you were talking about the digital version.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, physical media, physical media.

I was in a blue ray, it's 4K, I don't Amazon.

Okay, all right.

So production was paramount pictures,

sky, sky, glass, entertainment,

Hasbro studios.

Deadly.

Hang on.

It's the rise of Cobra.

It might be.

Cobra!

Because paramount was not a bug or this.

This is have a 4K, there is no 4K.

You're lucky, there's a 1080p.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

You know what?

That was the best one you've ever done

because the numbers that you had were reasonable.

They were.

They were.

Yes.

Well, for me, it took until you said paramount pictures

and I went, now wait a minute.

This never went to theaters.

No, it didn't.

Actually, much later, much later, much later.

I was saying, I was like, you don't make me well,

actually, for you on this anyway.

That's my line.

It went later because of Fathom events.

Yeah, I wish I would have seen that.

That would have been I kind of wish I had too.

Because I think this would have been a weird,

but it would have been worth it for the first five minutes

in a theater.

Oh, yeah, you're not.

Oh, he's anyway.

Anyways, goes to the real info and stuff.

Info 7 is a 7, 10 right tomatoes.

There's a 43 out of 43 in the audience scores, 66.

You can watch it for free on tubing.

You can buy the physical media for 2399.

That's a blu-ray on Amazon Prime.

Blu-ray DVD combo.

Yes, but that seems pricey.

You get two discs.

Yeah, fair.

And the DVD has DVD-round features.

You can read the script.

You can download the script from the DVD and read it.

Assuming you have a DVD-ROM drive on your computer.

Which is this day and age.

This one is still.

Yes.

All right, production was Hasbro,

Sunbow Entertainment, Marvel Productions,

Toei Animation, distribution for its home video release.

That's many, many years later, was celebrity home entertainment.

Its runtime was a whole 93 minutes.

It was rated G.

Originally it was rated G.

No freaking way.

Cheese.

Archie, clap that.

Oh, my word.

Somebody was not expecting it was not G.

I said, there's no way this kind of G rating.

No way.

They were even told to go for a PG rating.

And then we're going to be in that thing.

And then weirdly enough, they got squeamish about some things.

According to Google, it was not rated.

You say.

Because I've done, because it probably never got sent to.

It was the double A or this one.

Never got a rating.

So never got a rating.

So there's no way it was G.

Well, I think that was left over.

My last one is that I just forgot to do it.

I don't think that was G either.

Fantasia?

Oh, Fantasia might have been G.

Yeah, Fantasia was G.

Fantasia's 2000 was G.

OK, yeah, yeah.

Any ways now I have my hearing again.

I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Doesn't have a rating.

It's not G.

It was really so you can't read it.

You can't rent a ad blockbuster.

No, unless you're an adult.

No, but yes, yes.

Then it stuck kids before.

Oh, my gosh, bloodbusters missed the release date was April 20th, 1987.

Box office didn't have one.

Oh, she can't have them.

Yeah, let's you put them events home entertainment, rhino entertainment, rhino, rhino

entertainment first release, first release the film on DVD in 2000 in June 20th

that year.

In 5.1 mass remaster remix, rhino, rhino scopic sound, which contain bonus features,

shell factor release the film, a remastered special edition DVD Blu-ray on July 27th,

2010, featuring audio commentary as anything has spoken up before.

Story consultant and what have you by Buzz Dixon and principal copy of the original script

like they said.

So that's all I have for an info and stuff.

Yeah, and they also the special features on the Blu-ray and DVD also included like some

of the PSAs and some others.

I think the trail was a trail.

I could be wrong in that, but they had a few other special features that were more connected

to the show.

Oh, okay.

That's fair.

Getting into the summary.

While Cobra Commander and Serpentor blame each other for each other stewardship of Cobra

at the root cause of their organization's failures, Pythonna, a woman from the secret

civilization Cobra Law infiltrates the terror drone.

While there she reveals Serpentor that Cobra Law was responsible for inspiring Dr. Mindbender

to create him through dream manipulation.

Her urging Serpentor plans to capture GI Joe's latest weapon, the broadcast energy transmitter

or BET.

Cobra assaults the Joe's as they test the BET and the MLA's.

The Joe's use the BET to activate their automated weapon systems.

Serpentor has captured and Cobra Commander orders a retreat.

Cobra Commander leads his troops into Cobra Law, the hidden underground city that serves

as their headquarters.

As the Joe's celebrate their victory, a new group of rookie Joe's are brought onto the

team.

The two Cobra's include the allegedly clumsy female ninja jinx, military police officer

law and his dog order, former basketball player, Big Lob, EOD specialist, Tom Lrat and undercover

officer chuckles and dukes reckless half brother, Lieutenant Falcon, who is a green beret.

And Cobra mentioned what their name is.

They're the raw hides.

How was this guy from what was he special forces or what?

Was he a green beret being this much of a turd?

Good question.

I know why he's not a green beret anymore.

That is true.

Nothing to do with joining GI Joe.

Go ahead.

In Cobra Law, seven of the Joe's are in ambushed and detained within the love crafty and

living environments.

Including Scarlett.

The Cobra soldiers are meant by the civilization's leaders, Golobilus, who was Pai Fana and his

other and his other henchmen, Nenesis and Forster, the arrest Cobra commander.

While there, Cobra learns about their history.

Forty thousand years ago, Cobra Law was a prehistoric civilization that ruled Earth.

However, the Ice Age, the evolution of humans and their development of scientific technology,

resulted in Cobra Law's survivors being forced into caverns within the Himalayas.

Cobra Law rebuilt their society in secret as centuries passed.

Golobilus vowed to destroy humanity so that people could reclaim the Earth.

He eventually discovered a nobleman who was working on biological weapons.

The nobleman later became Cobra Commander, charged conquering the world for Cobra Law.

However, Cobra left out the part about how he scarred himself with his own experiments.

Exactly.

However, Cobra commanders repeated failures caused Golobilus to use his psychic motivator

on Dr. Mindbender to create serpentor.

Meanwhile, it disguises Zorana, uses Falcon to infiltrate serpentor's holding cell.

Falcon is put on guard duty by his older half-brother Duke.

As they punishment for skipping the training earlier, yeah, that's why he was on that,

not because he brought in Zorana to the base.

He didn't know it was Zorani.

He just thought it was a cute blonde.

That's weird.

Still, it should not have been allowed anywhere near that base.

Obviously, it shouldn't have been allowed, but he did not know that it was an enemy agent,

but that's why.

That's why he was on that, not because he brought in Zorana to the base.

He didn't know it was Zorani.

He just thought it was a cute blonde.

That's weird.

That's why he was on that guard duty.

That's why he was on that guard duty.

Or that's why he had nothing to do with him skipping training.

It was all about that.

Oh, yeah?

And then everything he said, oh, yeah, there's no way they'd be able to do it unless they do X, Y, Z,

as we watched them do exactly that.

Exactly, like, Agent.

Falcon abandons his posts to Flirtwood Jax while the serpentor is kind of an innocent

enforcer, free serpentor, injuring Alpine, bazooka, and gun hoe in the process.

General Hawk lectures Falcon on their election of duty, and confines him to his quarters

into a core marshal.

In Cobra Law, Cobra Commander is tried, and Galobulus reveals his plans to launch spore

pods filled with mutated spores into space and use the BET to hatch them, thus doing humanity.

He punishes Cobra Commander for his repeated failures, following his trialbex posing him

to the spores, which transform Cobra Commander into a giant snake.

He flees and makes his way into the camp with growth block.

Convince by Duke to spare Falcon from harsh postments, General Hawk reassigns Falcon to

the slaughterhouse, where he is to be retained, Bertrain, by sergeant slaughter, and his

renegades, consisting of ex-viper, Mercer, former basketball player Red Dog, and former

Acrobat, Taurus.

On a weaponless recon mission in the Teradrome, the five Earth Cobra's plans and that the

Baroness has discovered the location of the BET.

As Falcon and the others destroy the Teradrome, Cobra launches an assault on the Joes.

The Joes launch a counterattack on Cobra, but the BET is stolen.

Serpentor attempts to kill Falcon, but Duke intervenes and falls into a coma.

Falcon, the renegades, and the crew.

In the Himalayas to stop Cobra Law, the GI Joe team has led to Cobra Law's layer by

Cobra Commander.

The new recruits prove themselves valuable soldiers as the Joes rescue their captured teammates.

Falcon, Jakes, and Sergeant Slotter confront Glomulus, Pythana, and Serpentor.

The ensuing fight culminates in Jakes and Slotter sending Pythana and Nemesis and Forcer,

fallen to their apparent demise.

Finally Falcon sends Serpentor out of Cobra Law, and reconfigures the BET to incinerate

the Spore Pods in space, and destroying Cobra Law as Globulus escapes.

Immediately following the battle, the structuring received news that Duke has come out of his

Cobra head is recovering.

Did I mention this movie is nuts?

You're not kidding.

Getting into the trivia.

This movie's opening sequence with the GI Joe soldiers saving the Statue of Liberty from

the Cobra invaders was originally intended to be the climax in an earlier drafts.

Oh, that is contradicted by Buzz Dixon.

And Buzz Dixon said that this opening was not in the script at all.

It was added because the animators wanted an action opening.

Fear.

Well, the reason why I'm not saying to do with the rest of the movie, it has nothing to

do with it.

And according to the trivia I got, it was an earlier drafts.

But anyway, that must be a, that must be some early trivia.

Yeah.

The director and storyboard artists aside to salvage it and turn it into the film's opening

so newcomers can understand the premise of the series and to just fight Serpentor shouting

in his underlings in the following scene as in the following drafts of the script open

on Cobra Island and Serpentor shouting at them for a noticeable reason.

But yeah, if I could also see them adding this at the last minute, because this seems

to be where most of the budget went, yes, please lie it's off.

When Sergeant Slotter uses the term ditty bag to illustrate Lieutenant Falcon's past or

fail, ditty spelled D-I-T-Y is military jargon for it, do it yourself.

When a soldier outprocesses from an installation for discharge or another assignment.

I did not know that.

Wow.

Buzz Dixon was a story consultant on the show.

Occasionally, we would write some of the episodes.

He also worked on the DEEK show and part of the reason why he was brought on is because

he was in the army for six years.

That makes sense.

Oh, he understands how the military works, which is why as crazy as G.I. Joe would get where

it's like an animated act 80s action movie for children.

There's a ring of truth to it because they actually talk to people who knew he was

their military consultant and Larry Hama, who created the comic books, was also a veteran.

So that's how he was able to bring some, a semblance, a very similar to, he was the

big literary words.

The movie was being produced by the same company and at the same time as the Transformers

the movie 1986.

This has been agreed that both movies would suffer the loss of their lead heroes, Optimus

Prime, and Duke.

Production began on G.I. Joe first and was expected to be released first during the production

of the two movies G.I. Joe got held up while Transformers finished production.

Released states were changed and Transformers got a theatrical release in 1986.

Optimus Prime's death sparked some controversy and caused the writers to change Duke's death

to a coma.

Oh my god.

G.I. Joe never got to the theaters and was released to video instead.

Had G.I. Joe been released first, there's a good chance Optimus Prime might have survived

that movie.

However, according to story consultant Buzz Dickson, if you watch the Duke goes into a coma

sequence and I do agree with this, with a volume turned down, it's obvious that Duke actually

died at the end of the scene.

And in his commentary, when we got to that part, he proceeded to quote a long passage from the

the famous Monty Python dead parrot sketch replacing the parrot with Duke, it was gold.

Also, he had, I'm sure you'll get to, you know, some trivia about the name Cobra Law,

but he had actually the next one.

Okay, get to that because he had a funny nickname for Cobra Law in the commentary.

The name Cobra Law was not intended to be in the movie.

The writers planned to replace this name when they came up with a better name,

the Hasbro fell in love with it.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, it was a placeholder name.

Hasbro inspired by Shangra La from yeah, lost horizon, the novel.

And they weren't going to, it was like, oh, it's just a placeholder name.

But for some odd reason Hasbro loved it.

So in the commentary, Buzz Dickson said, well, I probably should have used a different name

that they wouldn't have liked.

And the thing is, is he would catch himself not doing it.

So he would correct himself.

And then sometimes he would remember to do it.

So throughout the commentary, he referred to,

he referred to Cobra Law as Granny's body house.

This is entirely why, whenever you're working on a creative project for somebody else

who does not have a creative bone in their body, never give them a good name,

a half decent name, give them something that is absolute garbage that no one will like,

or at least try to go up with a better name because they might use it.

That is true. Yeah.

Buzz Dickson also said, you'll hear bits of it.

I don't know if this is in your trivia, is there anything in there about the trills?

The trills sounds.

No, okay.

You mean the sounds sounded like a half-gainny pair of terrorists?

Yes, they're minions.

He wanted them to sound like really high-pitched trill noises.

He compared it to the, he said in Lawrence of Arabia,

there are Arab women who would make noises like that.

And he said, we never could get them to quite do it.

And then they were supposed that infamous battle cry was supposed to be the trills sound,

but they said the problem was Mr. Gaudier.

His voice was way too deep to do it properly.

So it came out like it did.

Yeah.

Galobulus, Nemesis Inforcer.

Okay. Galobulus is a stupid, incredibly 80s name.

I just want to say that.

It is.

But him, Nemesis Inforcer and a royal guard were part of a three pack of action figures released in 1987.

Python did not receive an action figure until the GI Joe Collector's Club released one in 2016.

Not surprising.

Yeah, weird.

Also, that's because girls toys, toys with girls and them don't sell.

Supposedly.

Supposedly.

Supposedly.

Also Galobulus.

I will met as stupid and very 80s is that name sounds.

According to Buzz Dixon, the name would have made a ton more sense if they had used the original

character design that they had there where he was going to be there as he put it very corculate.

Sounds like he would have been probably been inspired by Baron Harcone.

Yeah.

Suddenly what I was thinking of was that's Baron Harcone from Dune.

Yeah, where he was, so he was going to be this really fat dude who's floating around on his

little throne thing and then with shock everybody at the end, at the end of the movie where he's

suddenly moving around really fast.

It just occurred to me that that's probably the job of the hut was based on.

Baron Harcone.

Yeah, probably.

Probably.

So just cross my mind, sorry.

Yeah, I'm just saying like when I heard this like that makes way more sense that I think I would

have been a little more willing to accept that name.

Yeah.

Okay, nice.

I give Burgess Meredith credit.

He really sells that character.

He does.

Burgess Meredith always goes 110% no matter how stupid the role is.

That is true.

Yeah, but like about I'm like that name.

Like I can work with the other names, but globular something like come on.

That sounds like something you lob that's gross and slimy.

It's like something a little brother throws in his sister, you know.

After Duke yells at him, Falcon tells him he's an officer and he's pulling rank,

which references the fact that Falcon technically outranks Duke since he's a lieutenant and Duke

is a first sergeant.

How?

The only reason Duke can order Falcon around is because he's officially the second command of G.I. Joe.

That is true.

But how?

How is this?

That my god.

How is this Goober?

Why have they not promoted Duke yet?

I have no idea.

No, how did Falcon, who apparently is an impassal,

he like got the rank of that and actually outranks his brother?

How?

I don't know.

By the way,

well, Falcon is an officer and Duke is a infantryman.

I'm aware.

But how?

Yeah, anyway,

people and all things, but anyway,

yeah, is there anything in your trivia about the character designs for the renegades?

No.

Okay.

I'll throw this in there really quick.

They modeled the renegades appropriately after professional wrestlers.

That makes sense.

That makes sense, yeah.

Yeah.

So in case you're wondering, so one of them, oh, I can't remember all of them.

The bold guy was modeled after the Iron Sheik.

The a Mercer, the ex-Cobra guy was not a wrestler,

but he was modeled after Dove Lugrid.

Oh, that makes sense.

That makes sense.

That makes a total sense.

Yeah, you could definitely tell once you know that.

And then let me double check my nose.

Buzz Dixon mentioned this.

The other guy was modeled after Jimmy Supaflass.

Nookah.

But they're like,

you know, Sergeant Slotter's a professional wrestler,

or a model of the other guys after a professional wrestler.

That makes sense.

It does.

Definitely wins the team.

Despite being one of the new GI Joe's in his file card describing him as a smooth talking CIA

undercover operatives.

Check it.

Checkles never says a single word in this movie.

But I think it's the joke.

But I can tell you right now,

and this movie is probably one of the biggest testaments to this.

The comics by Larry Hama, they're being published by Marvel at the time.

Go in very different directions than the cartoon.

They always do the Transformers did.

But GI Joe is even more drastic as I'm sure,

I probably will bring up when we get to our discussion proper.

Yes.

And like all this Cobra Law nonsense, not in the comics.

And the fact I think I think I read that the Cobra Law characters,

I think Larry Hama snuck some sort of a reference to these characters just to make fun of them.

Mm-hmm.

That's surprising.

If I remember right?

And yeah, like everything that this movie does is incredibly different,

you know, and the stuff that they did a lot of the stuff they didn't season two,

especially with Serpentor.

It's Serpentor is in the comics, but he's different than he is in the show.

So I've only got two more bits of trivia left.

Let me check my notes.

Later on during a Deeks 10 year on the animated series,

Falcon continues his role as the team screw up.

He becomes addicted to drugs, peddled by one of GI Joe's enemies,

the headman, and has to go through rehab.

Yeah, I forgot about that.

Oh my gosh.

It makes sense they would do that.

It totally makes sense they wouldn't do it in the 80s.

Lastly, this is the last animated film produced by Marvel Productions,

which is now called Marvel Animation,

until Ultimate Avengers the Movie in 2006.

Which we have reviewed.

Yes.

Yeah.

All right, I'll throw a few more that I got from the commentary for you guys.

So there were actually two scenes in this movie

that Buzz Dixon said, for whatever reason,

once they got to storyboarding it, people got squeamish and they had them cut it.

Or at least one was when they storyboard.

I think the other one they had to edit.

The scene when Zirana leaves and then takes off her disguise.

She was supposed to be naked.

She was supposed to be topless and see her from behind because they were

because Hasbro told them go for a PG rating.

So they did that, but then they got squeamish.

So they had to put in a magic swimsuit that appears out of nowhere.

Yes, because that makes perfect sense when you're changing clothes.

Yes.

And you can tell because they had to edit around it

when Falcon is fighting Galobulus.

And he grabs that little scepter thing that he has,

stabs him in the eye in that artificial eye,

but they had to edit around it.

Yeah, that makes sense.

They got squeamish for those.

But not for all the other disturbing things that are in this movie.

Right. I don't understand that.

And let's see, let's see.

Dixon said that the idea that the idea in this

when Roblox gets blinded and has to cart Cobra Commander around.

That was inspired by a screenplay idea he had that was inspired by a movie called The Defiant

Ones that was about a white bigot who had to carry a crippled black man

away from a forest fire.

So they were completely dependent on each other.

He never got the screenplay written, but he threw that idea into here.

His idea was the bigot and the black man.

But the movie was the movie was referencing was a little different.

And let's see what other things that he mentioned.

He also, he claims.

I don't know how he, how this works.

But he says that G.I. Joe was actually aimed at a slightly older audience than Transformers.

But he says G.I. Joe was meant for 12-year-olds and Transformers for 10-year-olds.

Okay. Okay.

Seems about even money to me, but okay.

Yeah, he also mentioned because I was like, why in the heck are these guys just to prove how

tough they are? Because even action movies don't do this. Why are we rating the enemy stronghold

with no weapons? Yeah, but he said that that's not completely unfounded.

He says during World War II, it was standard practice to send deep recon patrols

without weapons behind enemy lines.

And the reason they did that was so they wouldn't be tempted to use their guns and give their

positions away. Okay, I could kind of see that, but it doesn't entirely make sense in this one.

No, this was more of a weirder, the greatest fighting force that ever was, I'm Sergeant Slotter.

We will have to talk about this man. Yeah.

Yeah.

Also, the flashback lore dump sequence was, he said twice as long in the script.

Yeah, they had to cut it down for budget in time.

Right.

So yeah, those are the most pertinent, I think, bit to trivia.

I got on the commentary. It's great commentary.

A great commentary. The weird thing is, Buzz Dixon starts it off by saying,

oh, like, I will take responsibility for this, but I will not take the blame.

And then proceeds to kind of poke fun at the movie, but also, but he also said several times,

this was the best thing he was ever, that he was ever associated with. So like, okay, dude,

he doesn't really know how he feels about it. It sounds like, yeah, it's, oh, it's like,

so he starts off apologizing, but then says, like, this is one of the things I'm most proud of.

Like, okay, dude, so I'm gonna mix it up a little bit and say, Jacob, what is your first

like for this film? My first like for this film, it is the opening scene, which is like,

probably where most, most, most of everything. I knew, I knew the opening was gonna be on that.

I have it as a potential like I'm just, so I'm gonna go with a different because I always have

backups. You're fine. Yeah, but the, oh my gosh, the opening is spectacular. I mean, like, you

have the, the, the angles in which they use the animation and the whole movie. You're not

kidding. You're not kidding. It's probably one of the best to be like opening up like films.

Like, you could just release this as a short film and they could have just left it at that.

And it would do an amazing, but dude, the only way that that opening makes any sense,

because it's not even like a James Bond opening where it's the opening damn bit where it's like,

oh, let's, here's a mission James Bond is just so we can remind you how cool James Bond is,

and it may or may not connect to the rest of the movie. At the very least, it'll be like,

James Bond comes home. It comes back to MI6 headquarters after being on a mission.

It's like, here's another one for you, 007. Is that even that? This is completely separate

from the rest of the movie. We have no idea why Cobra is attacking the Statue of Liberty.

No, other than the fact that it's an American icon and why not? That's the entire reason.

Yeah, it's a whole reason. So in my mind, the only way this opening makes any sort of sense,

because even by Saturday morning cartoon logic, the bad guy Cobra is making some really questionable

decisions, like why is Cobra Commander flying down there and planting a bomb? They could put it on a

rocket. Well, it is Cobra Commander. He is kind of the new guy who makes all the mistakes.

Say what you will. He was willing to go plant the bomb himself. That is true. That was a

little bit. This is just the sneaky leader. Yeah, but the only way that this makes any sort of sense

in universe and the same could be said for the opening of the show, because this is,

I'm pretty sure, I don't know, I haven't read anything that confirms this, but I'm pretty sure

this is a brand new rendition of the theme song, but it is the same singer from the TV show.

Yes, but the expanded version of it. It's a lot like the intro for the Transformers. It's

an meant to be an extended version. It is, but it's a definitely a new thing. It's a new recording,

so it's not a new band. That was something else. I think I remember reading. That was just one of

the things that suffered when they had to change it and then send it straight to video. They were

going to do like they did with Transformers the movie where it was going to have a brand. It was

going to have a score that was going to be similar to Transformers the movie. And then they

decided not to, which we'll get into that with potential dislikes. But the only reason that this

opening makes sense in universe is that this is a recruitment video. Like they put this together

to get people to join GI Joe. And you know, how did they get, how did they get Cobra to play along

with them? That's what I'd like to know. Maybe they had actors. Very close actors that look like

I'm just saying, this is a recruitment video to get people to join GI Joe. I was going up.

I was going with that maybe Cobra was trying to destroy the statue of Liberty to hurt morale

among the Americans, much like, or as a symbolic thing, much like future terrorist attacks that

we're going to get into. Right. Did. But, and they got stopped by GI Joe because, of course, GI Joe

was there. And that's that's why I thought it was. And that's why Serpentor was like,

he could have struck the mighty blow for the, for Cobra.

Yeah. But the script that Buzz Dixon worked on, he said, that first scene that when your synopsis

started, it's like, that was how his script, that was where his script started that intro is not

there. But you know, I don't, this intro is brilliant. I'm sorry. It's probably, I mean, I am,

I have not, like, taken in the entirety of the GI Joe franchise, but given what I have seen of it,

this might be PGI Joe. Yeah. Yes. The intro to this. They could have used this for an army

recruiting thing. That's what we like. Yeah. The actual army could have used this in the 80s

to recruit people in the army. Yeah. See, and this is the thing. I wonder if

what makes this so appealing. And at times kind of a relic is that I think this could only

have been made at that moment in time. This is Reagan's America. Yeah. The tail end of the cold war,

patriotism is running high. And that's one of the things that I love about a real American hero.

They've mucked around with the levels of patriotism or GI Joe since this. Yeah. But here,

they are unabashedly patriotic. And I love every second of it. I come from a military family,

so that's part of the idea. My dad's name is Joseph, which made me feel like as a kid is like,

my dad is actually GI Joe. So, so the unabashed patriotism, the American flag is featured

frequently and permanently. Dude, the whole ending after they get the bomb. Dude flies down, grabs

the American flag and flies all the way up the statue of liberty. Oh my gosh. That's

like this should be showed every 4th of July. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Speaking of that scene,

speaking of that scene, the fact that like Duke picks up the flag from the ground and takes that

the scene where he's one amazing bit of animation. It's a beautiful bit of animation. Oh my gosh.

His peak Americana brought to you by the greatest of Japanese animation. Yeah, go figure on that.

Toe animation did this. Yes, absolutely. How does Toe a Japanese company really feel about

having to animate this for for the American audience? Yeah. Probably it's like, well,

it's a job. But they win 110%. They did. They committed so much. Like, can you imagine

regardless of where you saw, whether it would have been shown in the theater or you saw it on video,

like that opening makes promises. Yes, that the movie does not fulfill. No, it doesn't fulfill

because the movie is really weird. It is weird. Yes. It is incredibly weird to like it. I'm sure

we will get into watching this. I was literally like getting super excited. Wash this one. Oh,

this is going to be this is the kind of film this is going to be. This is not going to be some

stupid. We'll get into that when we get to dislikes because literally the very next scene. Yes,

yes. So remember, I went into this blind. He did. He did. So yes, the opening credits for this movie

is so like everybody said, be like, this is patriotic beyond American USA, USA kind of thing.

Beyond believe the animation is spectacular, perfect, best opening to an anime movie in the last

40 years. One of them, but I have to go back and like find the one that I enjoy. But this one,

I just think like, okay, USA, USA, that's what I think of this opening. It has like everything you

want. We like again, it's not contextual to anything that's going on. It's just more like we need

something to pump the, pump the audience up and then it does his job fantastically. So yes,

the open and I think that opening like, there you have like a gazillion cameos from both the

Joe's and the coke and no, don't go up in the rest of the movie. Like I think they think I read

somewhere in some trivia someplace that like there's only like three GI Joe characters who don't

make some sort of appearance in this movie. So I'm going to jump off of your first like,

because this is my first like as well. Okay. But this is like, like you were saying,

I'm like we were saying this is such a patriotic action. Like this gets to the end of 12-year-old

to stand and go, yeah! That's the cobra! It's like, because I was like, I haven't been this

excited for the opening of a movie since I saw the Power Rangers jump out of a plane.

So yeah, I mean, this is just such a fun opening for this film and I'm kind of thinking, okay,

if they can hold this, we're going to be golden. They didn't hold it. We'll get to that.

We'll get to that. Nate, what's your first like for this film?

All right, so I'm going to go with one of my backup likes since we've already talked about

the opening, but I am going, I'm going to go with the animation. We've kind of some of the

phrases of the animation. The opening obviously is where the best animation is. But as much as I know,

we're probably going to rag on the rest of the movie and as freaking weird as the rest of the movie

is, as I've said, it is not a great representation of how the show is, but I appreciate the weirdness of

it. There's a there's a harshness to the movie with the style of it. It feels almost like it was

ripped out of the pages. I think the summary called it kind of like what was it like Lovecraftian

at points. I feel like a lot of the art style of this could have been taken out of the pages of an

an 80s issue of heavy metal. Like it has that aesthetic to it. This you know grungy, dark

at points horrifying design and everything aesthetic to it, particularly in the Cobra Lost Sections.

Not so much with the rest of the show, but definitely in those Cobra Lost Sections. And I

feel like something that could only have been produced in the 80s because when I think of other

80s cartoons and there's some similar aesthetics. I think of Thundercats has some similar aesthetics

to it as well. And it's like you could only have done this in the 80s when everything was

hand drawn. Any attempts to try to replicate something like this. Yeah. There's something missing.

It's too clean. It's too clean. Yeah. And you know, there's some great colors in this.

In fact, Buzz Dixon even said in the commentary is like, I wish we could have seen more of Cobra

law. Or Granny's body has as he put it. You know, he said, I wish we could have seen more. Yeah,

because it's not like he loved the designs of it because it was so strange. And but you know,

he was talking about how like a lot of the stuff in this movie, particularly with the Cobra

Lost stuff was inspired by he was a big science fiction fan. So he was reading a lot of science

fiction novels and there was stuff in there about biological technology. And you know, this is

also a guy who said, yeah, I read classic books. I watched classic movies and he's talking about

how all of these influences plus his military experience got poured into GI Joe. And it's like, you

know what? That exact right there is exactly why as weird as this is, well, it may not be the

best thing in the franchise aside from that epic opening. There's a reason why

stuff like this worked as quote unquote corny as it was. It works compared to the new stuff

written by people who I'm just going to come out and say it. What is that Jimmy? Yeah, my hot

take for the episode. He was reaching for that button. It wasn't working. But it's just feels

shallow by comparison. Yeah. You know, so I the I just say in the animators and the characters and

the designers, they aren't designers or whatever that they are working on this. They really

outdid themselves. Fair. Jacob, what's your second like for this? My second like kind of go

back to the animation. My particular would be with co-bacroomander's mutation from being like,

I once was a man to being a stink. I know it's cheesy as all out. The entire premise of it is just

bonkers. But the his when he when we're first to see he gets mutated, the animation is very well

done. This is why he wears a mask. The fact to be like in the point where it's him and

crap. Roblox. Roblox. Thank you. More with names. Roblox me like in Roblox fills his mask and

whatever. Like it's like, man, this is your mask and be like, I once was a man to be like the entire

mutation into the devolves into this snake and be like, the whole time, be like, you see scenes where

he's like, digressing over and over and over again and be like, this is very well done. Like

animation wise, be like, it's always very nice to look lit for the most part. It's animated wise

and just the the the fact that they took it where he was a man into a snake man and they become

just a snake. I was like, that's clever. I really enjoyed that for animation wise between the

animation. Yeah, between the animation and Chris Lottas performance. Yeah. And I will say the

writing for those things, that creep me out so much. Yeah, you're going to creep me out. Like

there are things in this movie that are kind of tattooed on my brain because they disturbed

little Nate while he was watching because he was not exactly used to this. No, it's like,

this is not how GM Joe normally is. What is going on? Yeah. It's it's it's it was honestly kind

of disturbing. It was. But I was younger. And even to this day when I watched this movie, particularly

when they're doing the stuff with Cobra Commander, like when they first give him the spores and

everything, it still takes me back to you. You're kind of being traumatized by it as a child.

I'm like, oh, I was like, oh, gosh, what happened? Yeah, it's like, really? I and weirdly enough,

you're it actually makes Cobra Commander kind of a sympathetic doctor. So almost no on that note,

my second dislike. Like second like, yes, yes, very nice. Like I said, I came into this with almost

no knowledge of GI Joe. My only real knowledge was that Cobra Commander was the bad guy. And in

order for this show to work, he had to lose all the time because the Joe's have to win.

So we get in with this thing starts and he's getting berated by Sir Pentor.

Get on the Sir Pentor in a minute. I'm thinking, okay, yeah, sure, it makes sense that he's been

failing all this time. But you know, he's still the leader of Cobra. He's the way he's going to do.

And he's getting thrown under the bus by pretty much every single person in Cobra.

And I just, I was watching. I was going, where are they going with this? Because they're obviously

setting him up for something. And then we get the trial of Cobra Commander. It's like,

in Cobra a lot. Yeah, in Cobra a lot. I'm going, wow, y'all really do. We are really putting

this character through his paces. Great. I have no, I just know who this character is from an

archetypal point of view. I don't really know who the character and stuff is. Yeah, I've never seen

it. And then we go through this whole bit where he gets the spores and then turns it to,

or first we get the flashback and we see why he has to wear the face mask. And then they put

making breathing the spores so that he has to be slowly starts turning into the snake. And I'm going,

wow, I feel sorry for this dude. He's the villain of the show. And I'm feeling sorry for him because

as bad as he is, he does not deserve this. Yeah, no one deserves this. To give you

a little bit of that. And then the fact that he and Roadlock pretty much team up to get out of

there and back to the Joe's base. Yeah. And he does like, wow, this is actually a really cool

spot point in this that pretty much because they betrayed him, Cobra Commander is betraying

all of Cobra, because of what they did to him. Yeah. Yeah. Which I mean, the only thing that

would have been cooler is if they'd have had Cobra Commander kill Sir Pinter were at the very end.

Yes. Well, he kind of does. And when they do the deep series, which was made two years after

this movie. Yeah. And they had a five-parter called Operation Dragon Fire that launched it.

And it follows up on this movie. They don't ignore it. Yeah. At least for this midi series.

And Cobra Commander, Sir Pinter is still around. And Cobra Commander does get his revenge

on Sir Pinter. But if it happened in this movie, that would have been

and kind of cool. Oh, yeah. They probably were expecting Sir Pinter to come back in

sunbows season three that never happened. Yeah. If they had done one. And honestly,

if spoiler warning, it's kind of poetic because Cobra Commander basically does the same thing

to Sir Pinter. Turns him into a snake. Oh, that's not much of a change. No, it's not. He's very nice.

Snake in a, you know, yeah, we'll get more. However, however, the only part, the only part of the

movie that the deep show does acknowledge is that Cobra Commander got turned into a snake. And

it basically ignores everything else. That makes sense. And it's really strange. That was really

strange. But to kind of fill in, even though they talk about it in the movie,

Sir Pinter in the show was created as a replacement for Cobra Commander because everybody else

was fed up with his incompetence. And Cobra Commander, because he has a silver tongue.

And because he realizes that there was one flaw in Sir Pinter, which is that he's incredibly,

I think, remember, I think it's that he's incredibly impulsive. And because of that, even his plans

were not working. So he convinced Sir Pinter to keep him around. So he could blame all of his

failures on Cobra Commander while he was plotting to overthrow Sir Pinter at some point or another.

Now, in the comics, Sir Pinter was created as a general who was still subservient to Cobra Commander.

So that's one of the big difference. I thought that the bath out that story of

the pretty much Cobra's betrayal of Cobra Commander and then him having to help the Joe's in order

just to get back to civilization. I thought that was just such a cool concept. It's like,

ah, this is this is a neat way to handle this story. And I just kept waiting for him to finally

get his revenge during the movie, but apparently it happened later. So yeah, yeah. And like I said,

he gets his revenge in the deep show. And the way he gets turned back into a humanoid snake

is really weird. Anyway, Nate, what's your second like?

Two words, Sergeant Slotter. Fair. This man, at least the GI Joe version of him,

is the incarnation of 80s action movies. Yes, I agree. Like, if you distilled the entirety of

80s action movies into a man, his name would be Sergeant Slotter. Like this guy, this dude,

my gosh, he gets all the best lines in the movie. He does. And like, he's like, if Schwarzenegger,

and like basically every action star had a baby. And like, that is him. I don't know how else

to explain it. Like, this guy is tough guy, you know, cliches stacked on top of each other.

It's like, it's nothing. But tough guy, it's tough. I cliches all the way down. Like,

and he has such a great look with the glasses and the hat. And it's a simple design, but it's

an iconic design that it just works. And this is, this really is just a more exaggerated version

of Mr. Remus's, yeah, wrestling persona, because of the freedom of animation and action movie

tropes. Like, it is absolutely nuts. And see, he was introduced in season two of the show. He

didn't show up as much as you would have thought he would, but when he showed up, you paid attention.

Right. And like, my gosh, so many of the best lines, like, I need to go look at some of the ones

that I wrote down because they are gold. They're absolute gold. Let's see. Yeah, this is my

favorite one. This is my favorite one. Thank you, Sergeant Slotter for this. He says,

you're going to work until you wish you were dead and keep going because you're afraid.

If you don't, I won't let you die. That was a very good line. That was a very good line.

It's like, I could see early early shouting this. Yes.

I just like, oh, my gosh, I love you. It's that I'm not, I'm between this or my other

favorite Sergeant Slotter line is from the show. It's from one of his early appearances on the show

where he's giving a pep talk to all the shows after they've been defeated by Cobra.

And it was during the five part arc where they make Sir Pentor. And he tells all of them,

like everybody, he's talking to everybody. And all of them stand at attention, including General

Hawk. And, you know, give him, give him their full attention. And he says, give your

horse to America boys because your butts belong to me. That general, I'm just the staff Sergeant,

but you're in here, the general, but you belong to me.

I just, I love every seat he's in. I love it. Just every second he's on screen. I absolutely love

it. And probably the pinnacle of what he does in this movie. And this is one of those images

that has been tattooed on Nate's brain since little Nate watched this movie.

Yes, when he runs across the bridge and it turns out to be a giant mantis,

the mantis gets up turn around and it's going to get him. And Sergeant Slotter takes his rifle

and he shoots at him, but the rifle's out of ammo. It's a laser. So the laser doesn't work.

But it's Sergeant Slotter worried about that. No, Sergeant Slotter is not worried about that.

He just turns the rifle around and smacks them and hits us in the face.

Because he's Sergeant Slotter. Because he's Sergeant Slotter day. And then Sergeant Slotter

just, and then the mantis just falls over and he's like, come on guys.

Yeah, so I love your comparison earlier because you be like, Cal hold on.

Why do I now want to fight between Sergeant Slotter and Segata Sanchiro right now?

Or, or how about Chuck Norris? Rest in peace. Yes.

That would be nice to a three way fight. Yes. So I do. I'm trying.

Don't fry. Yes. So I do. I do watch a man Randy Savage commentating.

Yes. I do. Or, you know, well, we'll pit Sergeant Slotter against Captain Gordon,

you know, the head of security on the island. Oh, there you go. Anyway, check it.

So I love your comparison. Like he's this amalgamation. Sorry. I love the,

the effect of the like Sergeant Slotter feel like if they took Sir Sampintor,

or like Sir Sampintor and like create him from like all the greatest generals or whatever.

It's like they took the, they created Sergeant Slotter from all the greatest action heroes

of the 80s or whatever. It made this tough as nails guy that would chew.

Dozer is a, who eats, who eats giant ribs for breakfast?

Yeah. It's a breakfast. Oh, yeah. That kind of guy. He's the amalgamation memory thing.

It's, yeah, I can believe it. And he's the only guy that the reason why he has the

renegades is because they're kind of, they're loose cannons. And apparently he's the only one

that he that he's the only one who could talk to him and then respect him. Yeah.

That's the wild part. And this is the guy because Captain Falcon says, oh,

invading the enemy. Captain Falcon. Captain Falcon. It's a different guy.

I'm sorry. Captain Falcon over here on my shelf. Yeah, Kyle,

come on. Podge. Anyway, there's a cover idea for it.

It's a little bit about doing a focus.

That's the option. Yeah, I could be an option considering I still convinced Captain Falcon

is based off comment writer. But I think he is actually. But anyway, so

this is the guy when Lieutenant Falcon says, oh, we're going to invade the enemy's headquarters,

like the enemy headquarters, not just a headquarters, the headquarters. Oh, it's,

it's supposed to be just for first off, Sergeant Slotter says, oh, it's just, you know,

this is an educational trading mission. You are invading the headquarters of all the bad guys.

And this is just a trading reason for you because you are Sergeant Slotter. And this is how it works.

Yes. So every mission is a training mission for Sergeant Slotter. Yeah, exactly.

It's like, you know, we need to start Sergeant Slotter facts. Every mission for Sergeant Slotter

in the training mission, like we should do that. Like in honor of Chuck Norris,

we will do Sergeant Slotter facts. And Lieutenant Falcon says, oh, it's just,

supposed to be a training mission, but why don't we make it more challenging and not take weapons?

He's like, I like that only because you are Sergeant Slotter. We do think this is a good

thing. Yeah, Falcon. Shut up. I wish one of the other guys would have said that,

just look at this like, Falcon. Shut up. I wish Falcon had been like, oh,

wait, I didn't think he'd do. This is why Falcon is a screw up. That's true.

Oh my gosh. Like I said, every second this guy is on screen. Like think of,

it's like if you took the movie, like you took the entire team of people from the first predator

and put them into one man. Like this is like, you know, Jesse, the body Ventura is like,

I got time to bleed. Oh, painless. If it bleeds, we could kill it.

Like this guy. Oh my gosh. You will. That's Batman. I know.

What is going to happen? Oh my gosh. Like again, a little bit of a relic of the time,

because even if they could bring Sergeant Slotter back and Sergeant Slotter was in the

deep show and he was, it was still Sergeant Slotter, the wrestler voicing him, but

most of that energy was just gone. Like the deep version of Sergeant Slotter is a pale

limitation of what we had here. And it's very disappointing, but I don't think they could

bring Sergeant Slotter even if they got the pro wrestler back to voicing because he's still around.

Yeah, I don't think it would be the same. He is very much a product of the 80s.

Yes. And that that action movie culture, it just it would not be the same.

They broke the mold with Sergeant Slotter figuratively and literally figuratively.

That's what I did there.

Someone thinks they're funny.

Because we need to get into our dislikes now.

Jacob, what is your first dislike? Oh my gosh. So all I'm going to say is

Oh my gosh. Yeah, so incredibly stupid. So here, here, so you have this really interesting

story about the Joes and everything. But once again, the Cobra Law Junk, because I

understand it was a mandate from Hasbro, they had to bring in the Cobra Law stuff. They had

to shift the story to make everything about Cobra Law. And the entire thing just goes, you go,

okay, great opening. Okay, Joes are doing this. Cobra is doing this. Okay, it sounds like a

river story. And then they bring in Cobra Law. It's like every time they bring up Cobra Law,

the story goes, boy, be like the everybody's been broke off. And now we have to somehow manage the

story just to keep Cobra Law in the story. And the entire time, it's like, this is ridiculous,

the entire time. Why are they doing this? And I'm just, I'm back on mandates. Yeah,

Hasbro mandates, I get it be like this had to be in the script. And it's like, okay, we got to

go more sci-fi. We got more fantasy with this. And it just broke the movie for me. Because I'm

watching this and like, okay, this will be like GI Joe Cobra Cobra. That makes no sense. Makes zero

sense. The story just becomes stupider and stupider and stupider every time Cobra Law comes up.

Like just stick with your GI Joe, pick a really interesting plot. Not all my gosh, we're gonna,

here's the kicker. Here's the kicker for me. So Cobra Law is going to implant these spores into

outer space. And they're not going to burn up in the atmosphere. Thought about that. That doesn't

work either. So, and they are so anti-technology, this and this and this. And they have to use

GI Joe's newest weapon in order to cause these pods to grow and dispersing everything like that,

even though your anti-technology, you have to use GI Joe's to know in their defense plan.

I'm sorry. And I have this thought come to mind. Energy transformer make my spores grow.

But they look entire Cobra Law Law Law Law Law and this is so stupid. In their defense,

they were only using it to expedite the process. Fair. But it was so stupid. I'm guessing the

self-justification. This is head cannon admittedly. Fair. The justification can be we are exploiting

an a weapon of the enemy to expedite something that would have eventually happened. I get it.

Now, the the the kicker is. Okay. So you have Cobra Law Law Law has

you like they're going to be the title of this episode isn't it. Cobra Law Law Law Law Law.

But you you have this, you have this ancient civilization which is Cobra Law Law Law Law Law.

It's just Cobra Law. I'm sorry. We keep saying Cobra Law Law Law Law. That's because Sir

Pentor did that as a battle cry. Which was stupid. So the the fact be like this is an ancient

civilization that predates humans and be like and for somehow they are located in the Arctic.

They're snakes. They're snakes. They're war blooded creatures. Why in the world is a war blooded

creature that can't survive the winter living in Antarctica? That makes no sense.

True. It's the button. Run to master activated.

This audio clip owned by Nate Marchand of the Monster Island Film Vault. For more information

please go to Monster Island Film Vault.com. They should be Stakesicles.

Take this cover before. I think so. Yes. Oh my gosh. They should be Stakesicles.

This shouldn't be anything in the story. It should be like they show up and it's it's you know.

I hit fit. Yes sir. Have a good hit. Cobra is having a hit. He always has a

secret. But the fact that there's titles. There's the title of your episode. Throwing a

hit. But no, it's it's more like my my thought was ever since supposed to be like they're supposed

to be plants in the Arctic and I get why they did that. I get it. But at the same time be like

these are snakes. They're warm blooded creatures. They don't do well with the cold.

Me like bugs don't do well with the cold. But why are they in the winter? Why are they?

Snakes. Snakesicles too. Electric boogaloo. I have a way you could make this work.

Okay. Would they do have a way you could have made this work? Instead of them being out in the

open in the Himalayas. Uh huh. You have them be under a blast. That'd be our day. I know.

It's the first thing to give them my Himalayas. The Himalayas and the Himalayan mountains

they are pretty cold. Yeah. I'm saying you have them go through a cave tunnel and all of a sudden

it's like journey to the center of the earth. You just have cobra la la la la la la la la la

underneath Mount Everest. That will go that makes more sense. But no under the ice cap.

Artsy stuff in the chat. Yes. Your episode time. Yes. Have again. Is he feeling cobra la la la la la

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Yes. I feel it. If you'd have done that I got to say that I put it in place and there

and instead of trying to cram all of this lore and projects nonsense about it's not necessarily

nonsense. The problem is it's way too much of one time. That is true. It's way too much

miles away. It's spread out. It's been spread out across a season true. Do you not have the

problem. That is true. It is a textbook definition of Lord Dump. Yes. It is. Oh my God. I will tell

you that's one of the things I don't like this. It's not in my desk. Like it's like this is the

most plot. There's a little heavy plot dump. I am. You're not kidding. You are not kidding.

And literally should have been spread out across multiple episodes. And the example of how

off-rills this plot goes. The fact of me like they have to retro retrofit the cobra la la la on top

of Sir Pintor on top of his creation and everything. I will be getting into that in one of my

dislikes. That's fair. So me like the fact of me like even cobra commander was from cobra la la la

that was like what the what you bring that up. Oh yeah because it doesn't move. You think that's

the only reason why I will tell you this. I will tell you this. This isn't quite what I was

going to bring up. But however, this origin for cobra commander is unique to this movie. I agree.

It is. I actually kind of like this origin. The incarnation of cobra commander has anything close

to this. Is origin is either left is origins either left mysterious like the first life action

where we had a kind of a stupid origin for. It's quite interesting. It's not quite as weird as

this, but still not great in the comics, which is the most contemporary contemporaneous thing. This

is one of the other huge divergences that the comics had. And once I tell you admittedly, I have

gotten this from reading wikis. I have not read the comics myself. I'm very curious. I'm hoping that

this makes a bit more sense and execution than in summary fear. Because when I tell you this,

you're gonna be like, how the heck does that work? In the comics, cobra commander is human. Yes.

And he used to be a kid you not. A used car salesman. I've heard that one before. Okay.

Yeah. Block story short if I remember correctly. If this was my show, Jimmy would have to add

this to his blog for the episode. He was a used car salesman. He had a family. His business fell

apart. His family. I think if things were falling apart for his family, he snapped,

blamed the US government for it. And then burned down his own car dealership. And if I remember

correctly, I think he murdered his family too. Yeah. He burned them with the car dealership.

If I remember correctly, that detail, I might be misremembering question. And then became a

terrorist to stick it to the US government. Question was was the cars he was selling mustang

cobras. I would love that irony. So again, it's not named after the snake. It's named after

the car. Yeah. And I will get as part of I dislike the original idea that Buzz Dixon hitched

for both this and a rise or pen to a rise, which is the five part of the introduces

or a serpent or he shared it on the commentary. And I thought to myself, yeah,

should have went with that because it's still different than the comics. And I think I would have

preferred it to the weirdness that they get into with go commander here. You have anything to add

before going to be like the fact that the cobra plot is so ridiculously over the top. And again,

it's an over stuffed story. And it's just, I mean, like once you get into

it's just, I mean, like you lose, I lose it. I go, can you just turn me into a dog and get me out

of here? Oh, you can make that happen.

You got your transfer, Margaret, and it transmogrified Ray recharge.

She says, be careful what you wish for. She said it just like that too.

Is it is it like a modified version of the of the spores, the cobra lost spores?

No, no, this is space technology. Not snake technology. Snake technology, god. Yeah,

whatever snake, snake, technology. Do you know, but we'll know, we'll know that if you got

exposed to the spores, you're a total dog. She said calm down. She's not done anything yet. Are we sure?

Still fully charged. Okay, good.

Hey, Jimmy, can you do anything about this?

Ah, good. He cut the wires. Oh, good. Wait, is there no wires?

Oh, crap. Jimmy, you got the wrong ones.

Anyway, wires that you cut. You don't want to talk about it. That's probably for the better.

Anyway, my, my first dislike.

Run to master. Activating. Oh, no.

This audio clip owned by Nate Marchand of the Monster Animal Film Vault. For more information,

please go to Monster Animal Film Vault.com. The coma of Duke. Oh, my gosh. Look,

eyes I said multiple times. I went into this blind. I knew literally went into a coma only because

of transformers and the trivia and all that stuff and the research for that.

The weirdness about the timeline of this is that Hasbro read the script for this where Duke

dies is like, that's great. Let's do it for transformers with Optimus and then we'll be

came up first and then they were here. There's the thing. They first off, they change their minds

after it's all animated and voiced and everything and say, Oh, no, we can't kill Duke.

Just have a couple of something. How do we go to a coma? They tried to course correct.

We were stared by us. They tried to, of course, with only two lines and they are completely unbelievable lines.

You just get him going into the coma and the nurses. He's going into a coma.

I'm going to blow the crappy was getting a coma. You can't survive that.

Seriously, speared in the heart with a lot of blood. That was a ton of blood in a show in a franchise

that was scared of showing people getting hurt despite the many acts of violence.

And then you try to say, Oh, look, he's still lying by having someone call someone. Hey,

guys, guess what? Duke's actually has come out of his coma. Everything's okay.

Amson, they're going two things. Why is every other line referencing Duke after his quote,

unquote, coma? I think like he's dead because the original script he lies, including the last line.

And thirdly, thirdly, thirdly, thirdly, thirdly.

It is entirely disrespectful to the character of Duke to

take this great death scene for this character. It's kind of an amazing death scene and

bypass it at the very last freaking minute because you are scared of people

of being afraid of Duke's death because of this pride dying.

And it's almost a move point because like I said,

Sombo didn't make a third season. And when Duke made more seasons later, guess what?

Duke is hardly in it. I am not a big GI Joe fan. I did not grow up on it. And I am pissed

for GI Joe fans to say because they, if you're going to take a character who's given a meaningful

death scene and take it away from him, you are disrespecting the character and it's disrespectful

to the franchise. This would have been like, if at the last minute, they,

McCoy popped up and swaned some magic thing over Spock. It said, oh, look, he's better now.

And Star Trek to the right of the car.

Wasn't that kind of happening and Star Trek into darkness? Yes!

We don't see point 9. Star Trek to the right of our scene right now.

Breathe. This is why I did the rat master. I knew it was going to go this way because this is

a granite as an amateur writer at best. This is the biggest vampire night.

It's, it has to have some executives at a toy company got scared.

Where was the scaredness later on as well with so many other things you've stepped in?

Especially in the last couple years, different people are running the company and apparently

they didn't learn from the mistakes. Well, you want to know, you want to know something else,

like you think this is bad. Yeah, they killed Optimus, but before they made the decision to resurrect

him, they killed him again. Yeah, because he came back as a zombie, which is just disturbing it up,

and then they killed him again. So yeah, that is my second dislike. And then in the Japanese show,

they killed him a third time. My second dislike, I mean, I first dislike,

for G.I. Joe, a real American hero of the movie, is the disrespect

towards the entire franchise by putting Duke into a coma. You're not kidding.

Nate, what's your first dislike? All right, I'm trying to decide, you know, I hit the button.

Run to master activated.

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for more information, please go to Monster Island Film Vault.com.

My freaking gimmick, and this is my sponsored episode song, taking it

the mother trucking retcons. You're not kidding. I am speaking, this does not affect you, Drew.

This affects me as a fan here. The retcons in this are kind of obscene.

First of all, Cobra commanders, the back of Cobra commanders head was seen at least once or twice

in the show, and he was definitely not pale green. So he was implicitly human, a bald human,

but implicitly human. And all of this stuff with Cobra law was invented for the movie.

Yeah, it was all invented for the movie, and it was because Hasbro turned down

Buzdixon's original pitch for season two, because they basically just told him,

is like, he gave him a pitch, and was like, okay, that's cool. But what are you going to do with

the Cobra Emperor? And they're like, who's the Cobra Emperor? And he's like, well, we need you to

put the Cobra Emperor in there. It's almost the way he tells it. It's almost like they like gas

layman, and it's a change again. Yeah, apparently no, but no, no. Which is what makes all of this weird,

because Hasbro had it in their head that they had to have certain things. You know what Buzdixon's

original pitch was for this? They got pervutated into this and like that five-parter that started

season two. It was a story that he said he called the most dangerous man in the world

that would have explained the origin of Cobra. Cobra law was no, Cobra,

it was nowhere in there. You know what it was? There was this character. I forget what I don't

know if Buzdixon gave him a name or anything, but he said he would have been like, like a Karl Marx

or like an Adolf Hitler or something, like that kind of a character. He founded Cobra. And he was

like there, not only did he found Cobra, he formulated their entire philosophy and everything.

Cobra Commander was a subordinate. He overthrew this guy and put him in prison

in his own prison, kept him around, took over the organization,

and then took it in a completely different direction. He basically

the tarnished this guy's whole mission statement with Cobra and then ran it into the ground with

his incompetence. And then, let me make sure I get this right because this guy would have escaped

from prison. And the Joe's would have tried to help him. Yeah, yeah, here it is. Yeah,

misapplied the founder's philosophy. It made Cobra an evil organization. And then he would have

escaped. The Joe's would have pursued him, tried to help him out, but then they realized we don't

like him either. So they just would have left him alone. You would still be at large throughout

season two. They're radically causing problems for both of them, but especially Cobra.

And this was eventually promutated into Sir Pentor and Cobra,

I'm like, dude, you should have stuck to your guns. I would have, I was like, I would prefer

that. I think even little Nate would have preferred that to all of this weirdness.

It just, it doesn't exactly fit because it contradict it. And now admittedly, the

Transformers movie does some of the same stuff. It also contradicts some stuff from the Joe.

But it's more like they introduce new things that we where you're like, I think we would have

either had a reference or seen something like the Matrix of leadership. I was like, why didn't we

see that until this movie? But you let it go because it still feels like it fits.

This does not fit in nicely. No, because all of this stuff where it's like, oh, we manipulated

Dr. Vinebender to actually make some, shut up. This just, this is the screams retcon.

Yes, it is very much like a retcon and it's not a good retcon, most retcons. I would argue are not

good ideas. This is definitely not one of them. It's frustrating because on the other hand,

I love the aesthetic and the visuals of Cobra law. And maybe, maybe, and maybe, maybe if they

just made them the villains in this, like they were just an ancient civilization. They had no

connections to Cobra, but they pop up and they cause problems for both of them. Or maybe Cobra and

the Joe's have to team up against Cobra. La, la, la, la, la, because Cobra is like, we want to

take over the world. Not these guys and the Joe's are like, we don't like either what have you

taken over? So I that could have been way more interesting. I think this third party coming up.

Yeah. But on the other hand, there is a logic to it because where is Cobra getting its resources?

Admittedly, where is Cobra getting its resources? Yeah. So I don't know. Maybe they could have

maybe they could have a connection to Cobra. Maybe they didn't create Cobra, but they were,

but they were supplying the technology or something. Or maybe the movie stars. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe

the movie starts with Cobra commander being like, I've run out of resources. What do I do? And then

they make it deal with the yield. Yeah. Collabula shows up and says, I will make you a deal. You know,

something like that. So you could still have them and do a lot of this movie.

But not all these weird retcons. It is so bizarre. Like I said, and like the comics completely,

almost completely ignore this. Those characters don't really, the Cobra,

la la la la la. The characters never really come back. Yeah. Which should tell you a lot.

So weird. But that's why I have kind of two minds about it because it's simultaneously the

weirdest, possibly worst thing about this movie other than what they do to Duke. But it's also one of

the most interesting things in it because it's a visually unique movie.

So it's so incredibly frustrating. Also, I would also I would also feel bad because we got

Burgess Meredith in a GI Joe movie. Yes. Overselling everything in this. Like we are talking like,

this is raw Julia as embison levels almost fair. Yes. I would argue is better than street fighter,

but like Burgess Meredith is all in and then some with this. So yeah, the retcons.

Not a good idea. Like I said, the Deak series basically ignores all of it. Other than

Sir Pentor has found Cobra commander of the snake and has basically put him in like his own

little cage just to torture him. Just to screw with it. Keep him around as a pet. And then

if somebody loyal to Cobra commander breaks him out, does some weird sciencey rudo pseudo magic

stuff to him that makes him a snake man. He's a reptilian man again, then they give him a new costume.

And then he overthrows Sir Pentor and turns him into a snake because poetic justice.

And then he takes over Cobra again. And everybody, you know, not Cobra,

just Cobra commander. Yes. Yeah, Cobra commander takes over Cobra again. And weirdly enough,

all of the subordinates are just like, yeah, we love you. When?

The Deak show is follow who's in charge. They don't really care. I guess the Deak show,

the Deak show is weird. I revisited some of it recently. Unfortunately, the two

uploads are broken. The episodes are mislabeled or replaced the same episode multiple times.

Right. And also I'm like, oh, well, I guess I'm buying the DVDs. Oh, well, it's weird. Jacob,

what is your second dislike? My second dislike, I mean, like, I'm going to bounce what Drew said

earlier was the fact that you have this broken because again, Hasbro was scared death to repeat

what they did with Optimus Prime because again, as a child watching that as a child broke me,

I was like, they killed a prime. They can't do that. And I understand from like, like,

production and corporate that kind of thing, like, you don't want to repeat the same thing is

you'd be like, you're doing it the same negative reaction. I get why they did it. But be like,

I don't know what prevented them from easily going back and re-editing things with this movie.

Go back, do some new animation, new audio, what have you, not simply just taking two little

audio clips to make you believe that oh my gosh, be like, oh, he survived. But the entire time,

like Drew was talking about everybody else to talk about, the fact be like, the animation

screen said, oh my gosh, dude, he's dead. But they're trying to convince you. Oh, no, he survived.

And then why is everybody start his gaslight? Yeah, it's gaslight. It's gaslighting our audience

to say the worst gaslight ever done, but it's gaslighting. It's almost bad as Mother Gothel. Let's

just say that it's almost worse as Mother Gothel from Tangle. But it's like, oh my war. It's like,

good night. Like, Hasbro, taking a little bit of the money and put it to do animation and make

the scene slightly different and just amp it up. Just a little bit change something other than,

oh, give it two different lines. That's it. That is sloppy writing beyond belief. Me like,

what? You didn't have the time to go in and do some slight reanimations. Go back and redo

some lines. Check if that would have cost money. Oh, I'm aware. I'm aware. They didn't want to

spend it. But be like, if you're so concerned about repeating what you didn't, the transformers,

the movie, go back, put a little more effort into this instead of giving us two lines that give

no indication whatsoever. Oh, the dude survived because all the other characters, including,

um, Falcon, isn't it? Right? Yeah, it's not further.

To the Falcon. Yeah, well, to the Falcon. He like, the fact that he like, all his motivation is

the fact that he's like, he's no, his half brother is dead. And we know this simply by just like visual,

audio, everything about this. And it makes no sense that they just put two lines in there to

try to convince the audience that Duke is alive. Like, even visually, we know, be like, because

the visuals and the audio tells us otherwise. It is just a poor attempt at trying to make a bad

situation better when they make it absolutely worse. So this would be like, oh, we need to change

this. Oh, let's give two lines and not change animation whatsoever, because we're due cheap.

And you just make the movie worse with it. Just saying, I'd be like, the way they executed the,

oh, he's in a coma. Oh, he came back. No problem. It made no sense whatsoever. And it's just the

dumbest decision, either a killed Duke off, just have it be that way and make it this really epic ending

or change it. Change your story a little bit, put in time, put in money, put in the effort,

do something different and make it better. But no, let's throw one line, two lines that make no sense

and is not convincing whatsoever. At the button, Drew.

This audio clip owned by Nate Marchandt of the Monster Anthem Vault. For more information,

please go to Monster Anthem Vault.com. Do by their hasbro. I swear, I think we're we are

dangerously close to getting to as many rat masters as we did for the Titanic movies. And this

isn't nearly as bad a movie. No. Yeah. Anyways, that is my second final. This is like a

this movie. The fact that they they took Oh, dude Steph. Oh yeah, let's be cheap and throw two

different lines of there and not change a fucking thing in the movie. Drew looks like he is preparing.

If you'll haven't seen that particular video on our short page, you need to go look it up. Yes,

but are on a on our TikTok. I should say yes. My second dislike for this film,

doesn't you hit the button now or is the entire concept and execution of the character of

Sir Pentor. I absolutely hate this. I come back. I'm defeated.

This audio clip owned by Nate Marchandt of the Monster Anthem Vault. For more information,

please go to Monster Anthem Vault.com. This character, great. Oh, look, think of this,

look at this through my eyes. I just got done watching the most epic five minutes ever seen

in an animated cartoon of any length. We get this slow movement through the swamp.

Obviously, we're building up to something and we get this guy coming out of a ceiling,

going, boom! Who are you and why do I care? Next, dude, you've got the snake

thaming up just a lot a little too much. It keeps going. It's like,

because then you start getting into this thing, oh, we got first off, oh, I'm going to throw

Cobra Commander into the bus. And then Cobra Cairn's like, no, we must defend him when it's

getting invaded by this mysterious stranger who actually is just trying to go talk to Sir Pentor.

And it's just like, oh, you should go steal this this energy transmitter thingy. And

and and and just care. And we eventually we get to Shagra Law and they start going into this

character's back. Shagra Law Law Law Law Law. And we start going into this character's backstory

and how he's first off, he's he is a genetic experiment holding all the DNA

all the world's dictators. Yes. This is all from the show. I know. I know. But also that was done by

Dr. Minebender. I'm saying it had another name gun to mine, but Dr. Minebender,

but Dr. Minebender, this was not Dr. Minebender's idea. No, this was given to him by this weird bug

thing that they psychically convinced him that he needed to make Sir Pentor by

and in fact, the board tried doing this on the island for a little while.

So this character is like the Emperor's idiot son.

I want to describe him as a character archetype because obviously no one

directly cares what this guy thinks or this doesn't feel like it, but they're all

enabling him because oh, he's the Emperor's son, but he's a big idiot. And he's obviously well

loved by the Emperor in this case being globulous. But I'm still sitting there going

can't read. This is like this guy is the problem. I guess you had globulous take over from

a cobra commander and you didn't have Sir Pentor in the middle of it. And it's very obvious

Sir Pentor was designed as a toy first in a character second and I'm saying this about a glorified

toy commercial because that's what GI Joe and Transformers and all these Hasbro own shows are.

But at least with all the other shows, there's another machine of believability

that kind of just lets the capitalism flow over me and move on.

But this, that is a top five line from the complete run of this podcast from Drew.

But with this, every other character is like, okay, I get why the Joe's will make sense in

their character design. The co-op. The co-op. Then all the other members of Cobra, there's

there does character designs make sense. And then you've got Sir Pentor who is like

the biggest edge lord O.C. character that was ever made because that's what this feels like

I should be writing across this character on Deviant Art.

As an artist or as a piece of art. Does it matter? Does there a difference? This character is dumb.

I mean, he's so very much and it is him specifically that took me out of this film.

and made it to where I was watching it mostly in the background.

I was still watching it. I was keeping an eye on it. I was...

My apologies, Artsy Step.

She says, guys, wait, I can't keep up with all the clips.

Oh, keep up, Madam.

It takes a bit to actually make clips.

So we have this many right one right after another.

But this character is so stupid and so toy executive created that.

Any amount of believability that this film has,

he's taking out any second's characters on screen.