Helping People Without Being Pushy {B'Day Fun D11 Ep 218}

Welcome to Tuesday Talks with Darlene Podcast, the show that goes deep into the topics of

spirituality, intuition, the sharkers and business. I will be building on the traditional

knowledge of all of these and being a rebel by busting myths. There will be solo episodes

and also episodes with guests. I'm your host, Darlene. Let's get started.

Hi everyone and welcome to this episode of Tuesday Talks with Darlene. I'm really excited

to talk about this episode, which is helping people without being pushy. Before we start,

please subscribe to the channel, like, share, comment, this beautiful episode because I want

this message to get out there. It is a really important message. And I want you to think,

if you're intuitive, perceptive or deeply tuned people, you can often see what they need

before they can actually articulate it. You can sense the pattern beneath their words. You can

feel whether holding back and you can see the potential they're not yet claiming. And you can

do this, whether it's in person, like on a video call or even just on a telephone. It doesn't

matter. You can do this because you'll so beautifully insured it. You can see the pattern beneath

their words. And this is such a powerful gift. In business, especially in the spiritual

intuitive spaces, this gift can carry a lot of weight. And for a lot of us, we agree to carry

this weight. And that's why this episode is so important because I really want you to be aware

of what happens because a line between helping and pushing can become very thin.

And there are many people that step over that line. That is why I'm talking about that line

today in this episode about the difference between using your inside to serve and using it to

steer about how to sell in a way that feels clean, powerful and deeply respectful. And I'm using

the word sell deliberately. There are so many of us that have actually bypassed that word

sell, selling. We've bypassed it. And it's not healthy. It's not helpful at all.

That is what we do. We sell. We sell our products. We sell our programs. We sell our

memberships. We sell our retreats. Whatever it is that we do, we sell it. So please embrace that

word. Do you think Cole's woolly is or any shops out there don't sell? They do. Think about

everything that they do to sell. That is what you're doing. Now what's the difference between

intuition and projection? Intuition observes without attachment. It notice patterns,

hesitation and even shifts in tone. Whereas projection assumes you know what someone should do,

what they should say, etc. And begin subtly shaping the conversation toward that outcome.

And in a lot of cases, it's not subtle at all. It is in your face. It is incredible.

Now just because you can see someone's next level doesn't mean they actually have the

resources for it. Capacity is emotional, financial, energetic, physical, everything.

Insight does not override timing. Now if you're feeling the urgency rise, the need to convince

persuade or wake them up. I've heard that so many times. They've just got to wake up.

Then I want you to pause. Take three really deep breaths. Because when you do that,

you realize that urgency often signals your own discomfort with their indecision.

Now true intuition remains steady even if they walk away. Because intuition respects pace,

whereas projection tries to accelerate it. And when we don't notice that shift,

helping can quietly and sometimes loudly turn into control. When does this helping become

subtle control or loud control? When you use someone's vulnerability to strengthen your case,

highlighting their pain more intensely than necessarily so they feel the cost of not buying.

That is not service. That is pressure addressed as cap. And I've seen it many, many times.

That's why I'm so aware of it now. And that's why I'm talking about this because I want you to be

aware of it as well whether you are actually doing it or someone's doing it to you. It could be

both ways. And that's happened for me. It has been both ways. And labeling resistance as fear

without exploring whether it might be discernment. If they are resisting, they could be their own

intuition kicking in going, this program isn't right for me. And not every hesitation from a client

is self sabotage. Sometimes it's wisdom. If you've got resistance and guess what? It's wisdom.

Creating dependency by positioning yourself as the only one who can see or unlock their growth.

Guess what? True empowerment builds autonomy, not reliance. I love my clients. Do I want

them forever? Why not? But I don't want them to rely on me. I want them to grow and grow and grow.

I want that so much. And if that means that they grow beyond me and find someone else,

fantastic. Now for me personally, that means I should be growing with them. As I'm not going to

get them to rely on me. But if they grow beyond me, that means I've stopped growing myself and I

don't like that. I want to continue to grow and it's powerful. Now manipulation in the business world

is really loud. Although there's been lots of times, it's been loud. It can often be soft,

articulate and justified. And that's one of the words justified. They are just justifying what

they're doing. Integrity requires something more uncomfortable than persuasion. It requires

restraint. And that's one of the things that clients loved about me. The fact that I never

pressured them into something. I would actually say, can I contact you in a couple of days to see

how you're going? And if they said yes, then I would, I would actually set that up. And I'd actually

set it up just after the call. I would write an email and I would schedule it. And it's okay to do

that. Because for me, that meant that it was done. And sometimes, you know, I don't have the

capacity to remember things all the time, even if I've written it down. So for me, that's what I

did. And because the call was still in my head, I could actually say, do you remember we talked

about this, this and this and how you're feeling? And, you know, is there anything that I can do?

Would you like to, you know, talk further about the program or what if it was, I would say there.

And for that, your role is to present the opportunity clearly and truthfully. Don't lie about

your program. Don't say, if you follow my framework exactly, then this is going to happen.

Because guess what? We're human. We've got different kinds of responsibilities. We've got

different things that happen. I followed someone's program exactly. Guess what? I didn't get where

they said, I would. So be truthful about it. It is not to manage their emotional response to it.

Discomfort is part of decision making, but it belongs to them, not you.

And when a client says no, it's not a rejection of your insight or your program or membership

whatever. It is information about their current priorities, their nervous system capacity,

or financial reality. And respecting that builds trust. When someone leaves a conversation being

empowered, when they feel empowered, it's, oh, it's amazing. Even if they didn't buy, you have sold

with integrity. When they feel smaller, pressured or subtly inadequate, something has crossed the line.

And I'm saying all of this as an awareness because autonomy is sacred in business.

Without it, the work loses its integrity. It really does.

Now, what does this clean ground of selling actually look like?

You name what you're noticing without dramatising it. Here is what I see. I would like for you

to decide if that resonates. You offer the clarity and you can offer certainty. Just be truthful about

it. You don't always offer the certainty. You trust that awareness is enough because you don't

inflate pain or urgency to force a timeline. If it's right, it's going to stand on its own.

And talking about that timeline, I've seen it so often where you might subscribe to something,

say you might sign up for a freebie. And you go to the next page they have, it's called

Absol. And on there, it actually says, this is only available. Whatever it is, the next

page thing is unavailable for the next 15 minutes. And once the 15 minutes is up, it's gone.

Well, guess what? I've tested that multiple times. I would refresh the page after 20 minutes.

Guess what? The time I had to reset. That is wrong. That is so wrong.

You also separate your income from their decision. When you're overly attached to the outcome,

that's when your energy tightens. Now, clean sales energy feels spacious. It feels amazing.

And you don't confuse intensity with impact. A grounded calm invitation is often more powerful

than a high pressure breakthrough moment. Integrity in sales feels steady, not charged.

And that steady starts internally. And I want you to check your motive before you close.

Ask yourself, if they say no, will I still respect them? If the answers no, then you'll still

hook to that outcome. Notice whether you're trying to relieve your own financial anxiety through

this sale. Because selling from scarcity shifts your tone. And most of the time, it shifts it

in a big way. Because you lack confidence, you lack the ability to say, you know, this program

is amazing. It does actually happen. And check whether you're trying to prove something,

like your power, your insight, or your ability to transform. Because when ego enters in a way that

is not good at all, clarity leaves. And I want to say we've all got ego. Every one of us, we need

ego. Because if we didn't have some form of ego, we wouldn't be in business. We wouldn't be where

we are. Or if you know, you've been an employee, you might still be an employee, you wouldn't be

where you are without that ego. Now, it's ego in a good way, not in a way that is overpowering

or anything like that. Like my program is so amazing that, you know, if you don't buy it, well,

obviously you don't want success or whatever it is. You know, that happens.

And I want you to imagine the conversation being replayed in six months. Would you feel proud of

how you handled their autonomy? This is a question that is extremely grounding. It will bring you

back to Earth in a flash. The cleanest sales conversations are not about closing. They're about

alignment. When your energy is clean, clients feel safe. And that safety builds a business that

you can repeat. Remember, your intuition is a gift. Your perception is powerful.

But someone else's growth is not yours to control.

Selling in business requires more integrity, not less. Because insight can influence and

insight and influence must be handled carefully. You can see someone clearly without deciding for it.

You can offer transformation without pressuring for it. You can want the sale and still respect

their pace. The goal is not to be passive. It's to be powerful without coercive.

And that kind of power builds a business that feels clean and amazing to run.

Thank you so much for watching and listening and I'll see you on the next video.

Are you interested in learning how to receive, trust and believe your intuition so that you can

use it within your business? Click the link in the description to book in a free connection call

and let's chat about how we can work together. Thank you for listening to Chuseau Talks with

Darlene. Before we go, I would love for you to show some love for your favourite podcast.

And yes, that is mine by leaving a review on your preferred podcast player.

Wishing you a beautiful day wherever you are on this gorgeous earth.