How Gillian Anderson opened her mind to desires that go far beyond a person's sex life

0:00Each week, a guest draws a card from NPR's Wild Card deck and answers a big question about their life. Jillian Anderson is known for playing agent Dana Scully of the X-Files and Margaret Thatcher in the Crown. But Anderson's role playing Dr. Jean Milburn in sex education convinced her that she wanted to encourage women to talk about the fantasies that kept secret. Have I ever told anybody what's in my head? Like, have I actually confessed even to myself? And if I haven't talked to my partner of 15 years, 25 years about this, why? Anderson's first book about women's desire called Want was a Best Seller. Her follow-up is called More. She spoke with Wild Card host Rachel Martin about how these anonymous stories opened her mind to desires that go far beyond a person's sex life. What's an experience you wish you could give every person? I wish that I could give every person a day where they feel completely comfortable in themselves,

1:12in their bodies, in their skin, in their family structure, in their work structure, in their relationship, in their everything, in their relationship with their kids, where they feel completely confident at peace, comfortable, not in fear, just for a day. To know what that feels like, have you had that day? Well, I mean, I feel like that is the greatest privilege. It feels like it's for the privilege. It's a rarest, rarest thing. And there was so much disparity and so much fear and so much that's wrong with their systems that don't work for the individuals in a sense of powerlessness and confusion and rage about,

2:16this is not how it's supposed to be. This is not how society is supposed to be and take care of itself. This is not what my relationship with my kids is supposed to be like. This is not what my work is. It's not what my life is meant to be. Very often, I think it feels like it seems like it's only getting more complex and more and meshed and more like we're moving backwards and more like it's so many more people are struggling and trying to make ends meet. And so how can you even begin to have a sense of self-care or or a piece of mind or faith or to feel whole and enough? That's a nice wish. You can watch Rachel Martin's full conversation with Jillian Anderson on YouTube by

3:17searching for NPR Wildcard. Her new book More is out next Tuesday.