How to Find and Live by Your Values, Solved

Welcome to the first episode of the Solved Podcast. Today, we are solving your values. Over eight years ago, I wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck—a book that, underneath all the swearing and irreverence, was really about one thing: values. What do you care about? What’s actually worth your time, your energy, your life? So in this kickoff episode of SOLVED, Drew and I are going deep into why your values are the foundation of everything—your happiness, your mental health, your relationships, your sense of meaning—and why so many of us today feel so lost. We break down the difference between chasing cheap dopamine hits and building real fulfillment, why not all values are created equal, how to figure out what your true values are, how to change your values, how to start living out your values more fully, and how values silently shape your decisions and relationships every day. If you’ve ever felt stuck, directionless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, this episode is the wake-up call you need. It’s time to stop drifting through life and start giving a fck about the right things. Forget the rest. Welcome to SOLVED. Get your free PDF guide: https://solvedpodcast.com/values CHAPTERS Chapters 00:00:00 Welcome to SOLVED 00:09:31 What are Values? 00:10:26 Characteristics of Values 00:14:23 Values vs. Psychological Needs vs. Preferences 00:23:06 Schwartz's Values Wheel 00:30:36 Instrumental and Terminal Values 00:32:15 Hierarchy of Values 00:38:35 Values Conflict 00:42:35 Carol Ryff's Six Dimensions of Psychological Well-being 00:57:01 Aristotle's Golden Mean as Virtue 01:05:01 Values and Your Relationships 01:22:56 The Clash of Values in Relationships 01:30:29 Identifying and Navigating Values in Relationships 01:34:40 Understanding Compatibility Through Values 01:37:25 Where Do Values Come From? 01:38:20 Margaret Mead's Cultural Relativism 01:47:55 Mary Douglas's and the Grid-Group Framework 01:56:20 Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory 02:09:26 The Allegory of the Taco Truck 02:14:34 Identifying Your Core Values 02:16:58 Thought Experiments to Find Your Values 02:32:16 The Instrumental Value of Golf 02:41:45 The Role of Trauma in Value Change 02:48:53 How to Change Your Values 02:50:44 Kazimierz Dabrowski and Positive Disintegration 03:03:22 On Cults and Cognitive Dissonance 03:16:26 Self-Confrontation and Value Change 03:18:34 Charlie Munger's Maxim: Incentives and Behavior 03:21:56 Lessons and Takeaways 03:36:30 The 80/20 of Values ⇨ Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://go.markmanson.net/cdi1xzha ⇨ Get clarity on what actually matters. Try Purpose, Mark's AI mentor app that learns your patterns, challenges your blind spots, and helps you take action. Get started at https://go.markmanson.net/217i5ys5 FOLLOW MARK Mark's IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/markmanson⁠ Solved IG: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/solvedpodcast/⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://x.com/markmanson⁠ LinkedIn: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/markmanson/⁠ YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@IAmMarkManson