I DECEIVED about the IDENTITY of my child's father and he DISCOVERED in

President Barack Obama. Virginia, we are counting on you. Republicans want to steal enough seats in

Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years. But you can stop

them by voting yes by April 21st. Help put our elections back on a level playing field and let

voters decide not politicians. Vote yes by April 21st. Paid for by Virginians for fair elections.

I hope you enjoy this story. I deceived about the identity of my child's father and he

discovered in the most unfortunate manner. I, a 26-year-old female, was raised in the central region

of the country but pursued higher education in the western state of California. There I met

and dated Jeff, 26M, for our final two years of undergraduate. After graduation I stayed in

California to get my master's degree while Jeff entered the workforce. We were happy together

and we planned to get married after I got my masters. After I finished my schooling Jeff got

cold feet about getting married and eventually becoming a father, abandonment issues from his

bio dad leaving, so he broke up with me, heartbroken feels like it would barely scratch the surface

on how I felt. I had a great job in California so I stayed in hopes that Jeff would come to his

senses and we'd get back together, we never did. He met Grace, 25F, and started dating her about

five months after we broke up. I started planning on moving back to my home state once I realized it

was actually over. Then he and Grace broke up at the beginning of this year. Jeff and I ended

up sleeping together a few times while they were broken up, it was a very public breakup, no cheating

involved. About a week after the last time we had sex he told me that he and Grace were getting

back together. He said he couldn't remain friends with me because he still had feelings for me

and he had to let them fade to be fair to Grace. His final words to me were to not call him unless

I was literally dying and just wanting to say goodbye. I left California behind three weeks later,

two weeks after I had returned home I found out that I was pregnant. It's Jeff's, I wasn't going

to be that girl that uses a pregnancy to get a man back so I deleted all my social media accounts

and made new ones that don't have my name attached to them. The only Cali people I added were trusted

friends who I knew either had no connection to Jeff or who were loyal to me and wouldn't tell

him my new accounts, earlier my pregnancy I made the mistake of. Checking out

Jeff and Grace's respected profiles and saw that they refer to each other as love of my life

and Jeff even had a picture of them caption saying he was going to marry that girl that broke

me all over again and I have since blocked them both and decided I had to move on with my life.

I'm now 6.5 months pregnant since moving back I have bought my own house in my home state and

I've been busy building a nursery for my baby. I already love this little baby in my belly and

I feel 100% confident that I can raise and provide for him on my own with minor help from my family.

One of my best friends back in California was having an engagement party. I won't be able to attend

the wedding as I'll be busy with a newborn when it happens so I decided to fly out to see my friends

and offer my congratulations to the couple before my life becomes baby centric. I got into town

on Thursday and honestly had a blast seeing all my friends yesterday even though it's only been

about six months since I last saw them. They were all respectful of my wishes not to take pictures

of me. Below the chest they did post some pictures of me online but from the angles it just

looks like I gained some weight in my face nothing that would give away my pregnancy. It's a couple

days before my flight back home and the friend that I'm staying with suggested we go to the store

because she wanted to get a scrapbook for our engaged friend so we went to the store and as we were

getting ready to leave I saw Jeff's cousin Tanya 22-ish. F walk in I talked to her several times

at Jeff's family gatherings over the years but we never really got along she was always a bit too

gossipy for me to like her so of course she was the last person I wanted to see. The first thing she

did was loudly announced that I was pregnant as if everyone in the store couldn't tell just by

looking at me then she starts grilling me asking if Jeff knows I said no and that he doesn't need

to know as it's not his that was a lie obviously but I didn't want to open a can of worms

Tanya then tells me with how big my belly is that I'm far along and asked how could I move on so

quickly I told her that Jeff and I broke up a long time ago she responded saying that everyone

knows we were still hooking up at the beginning of this year I did not know that was common knowledge

I figured Jeff would have kept his mouth shut about that anyway I lied and told her that I

already had a new boyfriend and that I was five months pregnant she seemed to accept that and

awkwardly congratulated me my friend and I paid for her stuff and left immediately after that I

prayed that would be the end of it like I said Tanya is a gossip so of course she went and ran

her mouth about seeing me pregnant just a few hours later now a bunch of my friends have

messaged me saying that Jeff is blowing up their inboxes trying to reach me none of them have

told him my new number or social media so he has no way of reaching me himself my flight back

home isn't for another two days and I'm freaking out some of my friends are saying that I should

just tell him the truth now that he knows I'm pregnant I still say I can get by pretending

it's someone else's and that I'm not far enough along for it to be his I honestly just want to

ignore him and go back home however I'm having some doubts that that's the right choice and there

isn't a consensus on what to do so I'm turning to internet strangers update one second of August

2023 hi everyone so the consensus on my post was to tell Jeff about the baby being his even from

just the first few comments that seemed clear we did end up meeting up it wasn't particularly

interesting or dramatic but if anyone cares here's what happened he got a hold of the friend I

was staying with on Instagram I wanted to just talk to him on the phone but he insisted we talk

in person ASAP president Barack Obama Virginia we are counting on you Republicans want to steal

enough seats in Congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more years

but you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st help put our elections back on a level playing field

and let voters decide not politicians vote yes by April 21st paid for by Virginians for fair elections

Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing another checkered flag for the books time to celebrate with

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prohibited by mom ctnc 21 plus sponsored by chamba casino in retrospect I should have just waited

until the next day but I kind of just wanted to get it over with and it seemed like he did too

to be honest I thought he was going to tell me that he wanted nothing to do with the kid

because I didn't see any other reason why he wanted to talk in person right that second

keep in mind it was almost 10 at night at the time so my friend and I went to his parents house

where he was waiting his parents always treated me like family so I guess I felt comfortable being

there even though we probably should have met at a neutral location when we got their

Jeff's mom answered the door she hugged me and I could tell she wanted to touch my stomach but

she restrained herself and didn't even ask thankfully I always liked her we made awkward small talk

as she led me to the living room it was clear that they had just had a party as it was still

messy with a bunch of drinking cups lying around and confetti on the floor on the couch was Jeff

and Grace holding each other's hands I was surprised that I honestly felt nothing for him at first

his stepdad offered me a seat but I chose to stand I wasn't planning on being there long anyway

Jeff started off saying that I might be able to fool tanya but he knows there's no way I would

have ever met a new guy and gotten pregnant that fast so he asked why I didn't tell him

I told him the truth that the last time we spoke he told me not to contact him unless I was

literally dying and I'm not dying he told me that he was trying to be respectful to Grace and

that obviously this would have been an exception Grace chimed into tell me that I ruined her proposal

I found out later third-hand info but knowing tanya I believe it that the party at his parents house

was for him to propose to Grace in front of all their friends and families tanya waited until

after the proposal and when people were giving speeches she told Jeff she was so glad he got

away from me and wasn't going to be stuck raising my baby then all hell broke loose at the party

apparently I had no idea that happened at the time where I honestly would not have went to see

him at all but hearing that he proposed was when it hurt he broke up with me because he was scared

of marriage and kids but he dated her not even half as long as we did and she got a ring I put

on a grave face or at least I think I did and acted like it didn't bother me but it absolutely did

his mom told Grace that it's not my fault and now wasn't the time for that then Jeff told

me that obviously I can't move now I told him that I already did and I was only in California

for the weekend he countered saying that I have to move back I told him no I'm not doing that

he said well I can't just leave at that point I got frustrated and told him that I left months ago

my job is in my home state I bought a house all my doctor's appointments have been there I established

residency there a long time ago California isn't my home anymore and hasn't been for half a year

now so then he got frustrated and got up to approach me asking if he's just supposed to send a

paycheck once a month and saying this wasn't how it was supposed to happen I don't really know

what he meant by that second part because he just found out I was pregnant a few hours before but

I assumed he was taking about his life plans I forced myself to calm down and try to be empathetic

I told him that if he was worried about this screwing up his plans for the future that he had

nothing to worry about I don't want or need anything from him I've planned everything out from

finances to childcare when I returned to work to even setting up my baby's college fund it's all

taken care of already he didn't really say anything I didn't know if he was thinking or just

relieved that I had it all handled I told him he can still get married to Grace and have his own

family someday I promised I wouldn't bother or blame him for anything my baby will be loved

and cared for Jeff got teary eyed and told me that I know how he feels about this he was referring

to when he broke up with me and said that he didn't want to be a dad because he didn't think he

be a good one he also has abandonment issues from his bio dad walking out on him his siblings and his

mom when he was six I told Jeff that he's not him his bio dad that he's better than him and always

will be his mom started crying at this point I guess from seeing how his dad's abandonment still

affects him to this day I promised Jeff that I wouldn't let my baby think that Jeff was a deadbeat

I be honest that we just weren't meant to be together and we live thousands of miles apart

he told me that he can't just not be in his kids life and that I don't understand what it could

do to them he asked if we could please just figure something out together I asked him what did he

realistically expect would be a solution because I'm not moving back to California and I highly doubt

he and Grace wanted to pack their bags and move that far away from their own families and friends

I said I'm not going to be sending my kid on a plane every few months either because that's too

much Jeff didn't say anything to that so I told him maybe that could be an option when he's older

and has more independence but right now it's not happening Jeff's eyes lit up and he asked

it's a boy I've been careful not to reveal the gender up until then but I messed up there

I nodded and he nervously asked if he could feel the baby before I could even respond Grace

let out this loud whale and stormed off to the kitchen Jeff apologized to me and then went to go

comfort her his mom excused herself as well as she was still crying so she left and her husband

followed her that left me and my friend awkwardly standing alone in the living room all we hear

is his mom sniffling in the hallway and Grace sobbing while talking to Jeff in the kitchen

it was so incredibly uncomfortable and I know many will hate me for this but I just felt overwhelmed

by the whole thing maybe it makes me pathetic but having to stand in the room where a party was

just held to celebrate Jeff proposing to another woman hurt so damn bad so I left I told my friend

let's get the hell out of here and we quietly walked out we ended up staying in a hotel and I was

able to get an earlier flight home on Sunday now I'm back home and putting my focus back on the

nursery I told my friends that I had talked to Jeff and I apologized if he still tried to reach

me through them I advised them to block him if it's too much I know this isn't the end of things

I'm planning on reaching out to him again eventually even if he broke my heart I still care

about him and I won't deny him a relationship with his kid if that's what he really wants

I have no idea how it's gonna work and I'm only allowed president Barack Obama Virginia we are

counting on you Republicans want to steal enough seats in Congress to raid the next election

and wield unchecked power for two more years but you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st

help put our elections back on a level playing field and let voters decide not politicians

vote yes by April 21st paid for by Virginians for fair elections

Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing another checkered flag for the books time to celebrate with

chamba jump in at chamba casino dot com let's chamba no purchase necessary btw group void

ct and c 21 plus sponsored by chamba casino to update one so I apologize that I won't be able to

tell anyone who cares how it all turns out thank you for the advice on my last post even though

everyone was down voting me and the post itself it was nice to get opinions without bias update

two-thirteenth of august 2023 I'm a little surprised to be writing this I thought my update post

was one and done but I guess it got reposted on another sub yesterday and gained traction

there so a bunch of people have requested another update I wasn't aware that people could make

posts on their own profile either so I feel dumb for thinking that I could only update once

but here we are I greatly appreciate the newer comments supporting me the few comments I got from

the relationship advice sub were all in support of Jeff in down voting everything I commented I

felt like I was crowned the queen of hell over their tbh I haven't replied to any of the new comments

because while most of you just read about the incident yesterday for me it was two weeks ago

my hormones are all over the place due to my pregnancy but thankfully I'm past the headspace

I was in that day and when I first returned home I do appreciate all the well wishes for me and my

baby though before I give an update I wanted to clear a few things up first I've seen a lot of

comments saying that Jeff proposed a grace within a few months after they started dating that's

not true aside from the one month break up where Jeff and I conceived the baby they were together

roughly a year and a half before the engagement assuming they had no more breakups after

like their full history nor do I care too second I feel like people were being a bit harsh on Jeff

I can honestly say he is not an abusive or controlling person the man never so much has raised

his voice at me in the four years we dated he was a bit overbearing by demanding that I had to

stay in California because that's where he is but he just found out about the baby and was panicking

that I'd disappear and he wouldn't be able to contact me which to be fair that's exactly what

I did so I get it I had a million thoughts some wildly ridiculous when I think about it now

running through my own head when I found out too third he wasn't juggling grace and I at the same

time like people think she broke up with him they both thought for good at the time he and I

started having sex again but it wasn't like we were in a sequel of the lovey dovey honeymoon phase

it was a weird and confusing time we weren't talking about getting back together I already had

a start date for my new job back home and my move was scheduled he didn't know any of that I was

still in love with him of course and I hoped he'd tell me he wanted to get back together and I

would have stayed but he didn't finding out he was getting back with grace hurt but I can't say

I felt used for sex I don't think either of us knew what the hell we were doing by sleeping

together again in the first place Jeff is a simple man overall I promise he's not some super villain

taking advantage of women and playing with their emotions I'm not making excuses for him I wish

it were that easy to say that he's a dirtbag and you should give me all your sympathy in reality I

know who Jeff is as a person anyone who read my posts knows him as just a collection of bad and

are questionable choices he made if you summarize anyone up to just the bad shit they've done of course

they'd come off as an unlikeable person Jeff's not evil or manipulative he's just got some stuff

he probably should have worked three years ago and admittedly I never thought his issues were

that prevalent until we broke up plus I'm positive that grace knew we slept together while they

were broken up there's no way that was a shock to her he would have told her himself and even if

he somehow hadn't if Tanya knew then everyone else knew shortly after guaranteed lastly I appreciate

everyone concerned about any custody issues that may arise from this I was also amused by the

people who were hyping themselves up thinking that I was delusional and actually going to be forced

to put my baby on a plane by court order I'm not sure why so many people on Reddit are used to

dysfunctional relationships were judges and a huge custody battle need to be involved but that's

not us Jeff and I were together in very much in love for years it might be hard to picture that

when you've only read about the shitty end of our relationship but everything before the breakup

was an ideal relationship which is exactly why it hurt me so much when he ended it things are

weird now but we don't hate each other our default option even in a complicated situation like

this is not we're taking this to court that would be the last resort I'm sure we'll work it out

between ourselves long before it ever gets there so on to the actual update I planned on contacting

Jeff after a couple weeks I wanted to take time to gather my own thoughts and figure out what I

wanted to say instead I got phone calls from his number about a week after I returned home he left

a voicemail asking me to call him so we could talk I was honestly furious because there's no way

he should have been able to find my number unless somebody told him it might not seem like it's a

big deal but to me I saw it as there being somebody who betrayed my trust in them I texted him

asking how he got my number he said it wasn't important and that he wanted to talk I said it is

important to me but he still didn't want to tell me I told him we can talk when he tells me who

he got my number from so finally he told me who it was and send a screenshot of the conversation

when I asked for proof it was the second least likely friend I would have expected to break my trust

that's a whole other story though so we talked over FaceTime and he told me that he

absolutely wants to be in our son's life he doesn't know how it's gonna work long term and

neither do I there was no threat of lawyers or his mom shouting grandparents rights in the

background like people were expecting where adults and will figure it out the situation is not

any easier to handle logistically but emotions from that night have died down and we have clear

heads to move forward with he did however have the audacity to tell me that he hates that I didn't

tell him much sooner and that I wasn't planning to tell him at all until Tanya found out because he

thought we meant more to each other than that I told him I thought we did too until he told me not

to contact him unless I was dying that shut him up quickly because he knows now that it was an

extreme and unnecessary thing to say even if he wanted to cut contact with me he's apologized

for it and I apologized for not telling him about the baby myself that's all we can really do

we're about to co-parent a child together so we don't get the luxury of holding a grudge with

one another over past slides he also told me that he and Grace are no longer together he claims

that it was a mutual decision but that sounds too easy to me how do you go from newly engaged

to broken up in 18 hours with it being a completely clean process I'm guessing he's just sparing

me the ugly details on what must have actually happened I do feel bad for Grace other than

incorrectly assigning blame for her ruined engagement party she didn't do anything wrong I don't

know her personally but her proposal night should have been one of the best nights of her life and

it was ruined I wouldn't want that for any woman and because I know what everyone is gonna say

no I'm not seeing this as an opportunity to get back together with Jeff honestly my focus is on

my son right now I'm not thinking about jumping into a relationship with anyone much less the man

who broke my heart once already I think Jeff and I need to figure out how we're gonna co-parent

first and foremost and tbh I want a man who loves me and chooses me for the person that I am

not because I happen to have given birth to his child plus I don't know that I could ever get over

that he proposed to Grace over me even if they broke off their engagement I still want to know why

she got a ring and I didn't and I'm going to ask eventually but I don't think any answer will

ever make it okay to me a president Barack Obama Virginia we are counting on you Republicans want

to steal enough seats in congress to raid the next election and wield unchecked power for two more

years but you can stop them by voting yes by April 21st help put our elections back on a level

playing field and let voters decide not politicians vote yes by April 21st paid for by Virginians

for fair elections tolerate a cure from 2311 racing another checkered flag for the books

time to celebrate with chamba jump in at chamba casino dot com let's chamba no purchase

necessary btw group void were prohibited by law ct and c 21 plus sponsored by chamba casino

lot of people said it wasn't that he didn't want marriage he just didn't want it with me

I find that hard to believe because as I said above we really had an ideal relationship

our breakup wasn't a build up of issues it really was as simple as you want marriage and kids

I don't which I think most would agree is just the natural end of a relationship

if it really is as simple as I just wasn't the one that I want him to look me in the eyes and

tell me that himself Jeff is a terrible liar even when he's lying for a good reason like a special

surprise he fidgets his fingers and can't maintain eye contact when he's lying so if he looks

me in the eyes and tells me his reason for why he chose to marry her and not me I'll know if he's

being honest Jeff also told me that his mom wanted to send me stuff for the baby so he asked for

my address I declined I'm positive that there are no nefarious reasons and she's just excited and

wants to help this will be her first grandchild however I still felt a little uncomfortable giving

them my home address he's been texting me every day and calls me every night to say good night

sometimes he wants to talk to the baby it's a bit confusing for me because he broke up with me

because he didn't want a kid but now he wants to be involved to the point where he's going out

of his way to contact me and ask if I need anything it's strange and I don't really understand

how his brain works but like I said in my last post I won't deny him a relationship with his kid

if he wants one Jeff wants to visit me in person to talk properly but I told him I'm not sure if

that's necessary right now he asked to come last weekend and I said no then he asked again

about possibly coming this weekend but I told him I can't because I'm having my baby shower on

Saturday he wants to come I'm not sure if that's a great idea I'm not worried that he would say

or do anything bad and we're getting along over text slash VC I can tell that he just wants to be

involved but part of me feels like it's sort of I don't know playing house almost I guess it

wouldn't be a big deal if I made it clear he would be here as a friend and the father of the baby

but not as anything more my parents don't think it's a good idea but I know that's just because

they don't like Jeff ever since he broke up with me my sister who is more level headed says that

it could be a show of good faith that I'm serious about having a healthy co-parenting relationship

and it'll probably be easier to build that foundation now before the baby comes my brothers don't

carry their way but they say they're ready to beat up Jeff if he does or says anything stupid

he won't but I love my brothers for always looking out for me I'm not sure what I'm going to

decide but I know Jeff needs an answer soon so he can book a flight in a hotel room if I do say yes

I'm open to suggestions