I Have $1,400 To My Name and I'm Considering Bankruptcy

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Normal is broke and common sense is weird so we're here to help you transform your life.

From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey Show.

I'm John D'Loney joined by the best-selling author, great human being Jade Warshall.

We're taking your calls on money, work, life, all of them.

Triple 8, 825-225 to call in live.

Let's go to Charlotte, North Carolina and talk to AJ.

What's up AJ?

Hey, how's everybody doing?

We're doing alright. How about you?

I definitely need help.

I have over $170 to $137K in debt and I have $66K with the IRS and I have an extra $70K

with personal debt including cards, credit cards, it's due to loans.

And my problem is when we, my wife, every year we make more money, we owe the government

more and with the 65K that we already owe the government the interest piles on every month.

And I'm out of crossroad because I don't know which one should we start with,

or should it be the IRS or should it be the personal credit because every year we go up

and bracket with our income we owe a extra 8000 that's added on to the debt that we already owe

with the IRS. So it's kind of like, it's a,

Well, why aren't you paying your taxes?

Why does it have to keep going up?

It's what I'm saying.

Oh, yeah, so she's an RN and I have two jobs.

So during that process, I say when we was 23,

had somebody think you do our taxes and we got audit and since we got audit,

it's been an ongoing cycle for the last five years of us not getting ahead of the IRS.

I understand. So why is it that, um, okay, let me go back and answer your first question.

Yes, IRS that needs to come first, but going forward, you need to be paying your taxes.

And what I don't want to hear you say is that the excuses were making more money.

It's a good thing to make more money.

You don't want to make less money and if your tax bracket creeps up,

it's only for the percentage more that you're making.

It's not for your entire amount.

Now I'm being taxed on. Do you see what I'm saying?

It's just the, the amount over that bracket that you're being taxed on.

So I don't, that's an excuse.

I don't want you to keep leaning on that.

It's a good thing to make more money.

What needs to happen is you need to look at your withholding and find out why,

why is your, why are you not paying enough taxes that you're owing so much at the end of each

year and it's stacking up on you, does that make sense?

Yeah, that definitely makes sense because she's an Armin and I'm in a supply chain.

She had W2, right?

Yeah, but then we found out one of her jobs as a travel nurse, it wasn't a W2.

So that went...

But you didn't know that until after the fact?

Hey, that's what she told me.

We just heard we went to it.

And I was like, what, one year, we owe 15K and like I said, and we pay every year and we wait

to October and then it's just like, when we saw it again, that same 8,000 we just paid.

All right, it's going back to this year.

So I went and got another job as a manager working night show and that's an extra 60K and now

it put us over 220 and now we both are like, we don't have no dependence.

Is this like, how can we get off the IRS?

Yeah, so the making, let me go back and say it again, making more money is not the problem.

Making more money, if you're making $220,000 a year, married filing jointly, great.

Woo-hoo, like that's great.

You're rich, brother.

You're rich.

Thank you.

You're rich.

I like that.

The problem is, yes, you got into some hot water in the past.

If she was working as a traveling nurse, she was probably bringing in some nice cash

and you weren't paying taxes.

That's what got you into trouble.

What you need to make sure is going forward, what is the tax status of both of you?

Are you on the hook for your own as a contracted individual?

Or are you W2 and your employer is paying such?

So knowing that going forward, I think that you guys can sit down to

and figure that out.

Let's talk about how to tackle this debt.

IRS needs to come first.

Is it 65 or 56?

I feel like you said both.

No, so it is 65,296.58 right now.

And every month, you know, the answers go up.

Right.

So let's pay fast enough to where you're paying more towards the actual amount.

And I want to know, have you sat down and made some sort of a payment plan with them?

Or are you just fighting for your life?

We made a payment plan with them.

We don't own a house.

So like I said, it is just pretty much I W2s and we pay 1100 a month to them.

Okay.

You need at $220,000 a year.

Triple that.

Yes.

Quadruple that.

Is there anything to say?

And I'm using round numbers here.

I'm not thinking about, is there anything to say?

Hey, we make 220.

Let's live on 100.

Whatever that is after taxes.

Can you do that in Charlotte?

No, because you got a car and a

that's a thousand a month to your car.

How much is your car worth?

Car worth is 50k.

And what do you own on it?

50k.

Okay.

So today, this weekend, I love that it's the weekend, John,

because he's going to throw right on down there.

Yeah.

And you're going to sell that car.

And then you're going to find, I don't know,

with this next check coming up on the 15th,

because most of us get paid somewhere between the first

and the 15th or the 30th and the 15th,

you're going to take $4,000 and you're going to buy a beater.

Oh, you were generous.

I was going to give him three.

But four.

I have a question though.

How did it work with my credit?

Because I just got the car last year.

Dude, you're playing all these crazy games.

Like you're never going to get off the IRS train.

You have to pay taxes.

If you make money in any country on planet earth,

you pay taxes.

And so you know, I was saying about the car.

I know.

I'm just saying like you're going to have to pay taxes

when it comes to a car.

You should not be worrying about your credit score

and all that nonsense.

You're way in the hole.

Sell the car.

It doesn't matter.

All your credit score is a dating game for you and debt.

Okay.

So if you don't have any debt,

you don't have a credit score.

Nobody cares.

Nobody, it doesn't matter.

But what I'm trying to tell you is you're playing these other games.

How do I get off of this?

How do I get off of this?

You got to go straight through the middle of this debt.

Sell the car this week and do it by $4,000 car.

And you're going to be the only dude making a quarter million

dollars in your neighborhood driving a $4,000 car.

And you're going to be the only dude in your neighborhood

in the year or two who's completely free.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, I like that better.

Yes.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, so about the personal credit,

where about that later, right?

I think if today don't even worry about it,

because it's not doing anything for you.

It's playing no role in this.

The only thing it's done is gotten you in a heap of trouble.

Think about it.

It got you in a car you can't afford.

You're not, but you haven't bought a house.

You're a renter.

Your credit has, it's the least of your worries right now.

The government's taking money out of your check, dude.

Yeah.

You know what I'm saying?

Yeah, that is great.

What is your take home every month?

Like, what do y'all bring in?

$13,000.

Good grief, dude.

Figure out how to live off of six.

And that's being generous.

And take the other $10,000 a month

and get this thing paid off in six months.

And stop oiling the government money.

And then get on with your debt.

Jade, what am I missing?

I think he's just been majoring in the minors.

So, it's time to focus on.

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All right, let's go to Virginia Beach

and talk to Renee.

Hey, hey, Renee, what's going on?

Hi, how are you?

Doing great.

What's going on?

So I recently filed for chapter 7 bankruptcy.

And in the process, my car was repossessed.

So right now, I only have $1400 to my name.

And I'm trying to figure out if I should use this check

to pay the back fees to get the vehicle back.

Or if I should just try and buy a vehicle in cash

or buy here pay here.

Oh, boy, I'm sorry that you're going through that.

So when they took the vehicle, have they already sold it?

Is there already a deficit for it?

Or what have they told you about it?

The vehicle right now is still on hold.

So I'm still able to get it reinstated.

But it would eat up that entire cash amount that I have.

OK, is it just you?

Do you have kids tell me more about your living situation?

Thank you.

I do not have kids.

So I only have to worry about myself.

My job is fairly flexible.

But I do rely on my vehicle for my job.

So it's hard for me to gauge how I should invest

or what the budget should be.

OK.

What do you make?

What is your monthly budget?

I make about 3,000 a month.

OK.

OK, so you need the vehicle and it's going to cost

what's the exact amount that it's going to cost to get it back?

A roughly $1400.

So it's everything, yeah.

And what I mean, obviously, what I guess my question is,

what's changed in your situation?

Because what I'd rather do is maybe take this $1400,

add a little bit more to it and get a beater.

Because what's changed about your situation

that you'd suddenly be able to afford this vehicle

is basically what I'm getting at.

Yeah.

I guess nothing really has changed.

I had attempted to put some payments towards the end of the

line.

And so I'm already kind of in a deficit as is.

And right now, I guess like $1400 is impossible for cash.

It's mostly like vehicles with parts.

So that's kind of where I'm struggling as far as what budget

would even be wise to look for.

But let's say you blow all your cash and get this thing back.

You have no emergency fund.

You have nothing.

You just get this car back.

What in your life changes that says you're

going to be able to make the payment next month?

They just took it from you because you couldn't make the payment.

Exactly.

Yeah, that's true.

What's the vehicle?

What's the vehicle worth before they took it?

It's worth $10,000.

And what did you owe it with like $10,500.

And when I looked at the total loan, it said I would end up paying $20,000.

And the only reason I've been so attached to it is because there's a Toyota.

And I know they can last a long time.

So I guess I'm sort of afraid of that.

What was the payment before all this repo business?

$336 a month.

OK, so we were struggling to pay $336 a month.

Now, I know you said you filed chapter seven.

Has that already gone through?

Like, what is, what's that look like for you?

What's the payment?

Is there a monthly payment that you're making on everything?

Or did they just take everything?

Tell me, tell me where you're at in that.

I just filed.

So they took my vehicle on Thursday.

And then, or they took my vehicle on Wednesday.

I filed on Thursday.

And now they won't release it to me.

What's your financial picture that you had to file, Bankruptcy?

Right.

Oh, so mostly because of my job, it's contract work.

So whenever I am working, it's based on clients.

And we've been having issues with insurance, with United Healthcare, dropping people.

So it kind of fluctuates.

So when I say, like, I make $3,000 a month, that's really just an average.

And it's not like I'm asking, how much do you owe?

Yeah, when you file bankruptcy, it's usually you have a bunch of debt that you're trying

to clear out.

So we're trying to find out what debt did you have and where did it come from?

Oh, it was mostly credit cards.

I had probably around $60,000 in credit card debt.

I have $90,000 in student loans, $10,000 on my vehicle.

And then I also had a $20,000 personal loan.

Okay.

So the student loans remain.

And so what was cleared was the 60, the 10, and the 20.

Obviously, they took the vehicle.

So when you file, they were going to take the car anyway, that was going to happen anyway.

So you still got the $90,000 of student loans, and now you just have no car to get to work.

Right?

Is that where we're at today?

Yes.

Okay.

So I stand by what I said, I think they probably took this car.

Yeah, they might come after you for a deficit.

I don't think the solution for you is to go back to paying a car payment.

I think the solution for you is to go, all right, I've got $3,000 that I make a month.

I've got to work like a crazy person, even if I need to take the bus for now.

And I need to stack up like $4,000.

I've got $14,000.

Let me see if I can double that.

14,000?

Yeah.

A 1,400, I'm sorry.

Let me see if I can double that very quickly.

There are $3,000 beaters out there, just so you know, the car that I drive, it's a Cadillac

SRX.

13, it's worth $1,500.

I've just had it for a really long time.

If I sold it today, whoever bought it would be getting a steal.

But that's what it's worth.

So they're out there.

I'm just letting you know they're out there.

So don't, you have to look for them, you know, but private sale, let's go to a church

say, hey, is there anybody here selling a car?

I'm in a bad jam.

I mean, I got $3,000 who can sell me their car, right?

And I think you know, yeah, look for a Toyota.

For a Nissan, look for a Honda, don't get a HHR.

Hey, yeah, or a square Kia with one button that goes into this place house music.

Hey, okay.

So what do you do for a living?

I'm a mental health professional, so I work with the youth, they're in home, and I

help them before they go into like a facility or foster care, something like that.

Are you licensed?

Do you have a LPC or an LMFT or something?

I'm working towards that, no, right now I just have a QMHP, but I'm getting my masters

in order to be in a practice.

Okay.

So you're continuing to add to this $90,000 to a loan debt?

Unfortunately, yes.

Okay.

Here's essentially what you've done with the bankruptcy.

You've never turned to the faucet off.

And so the faucet that buried you up to your eyeballs in debt that you called and you

filed bankruptcy for, they came with a big bucket and took some of that water out, but

that faucet is still going full blast.

Yeah.

You're going to find yourself in this exact same situation.

And if you are able to navigate that system, which is a nightmare, helping those kids

out, what that means is you have skills at the cost.

That a local school district would want, even if you had to go be a teacher on an emergency

certification, if you had to go help out as a part-time social worker, here's what I'm

trying to tell you, you can't just sit there and say, well, they're taking my jobs away.

And I guess I'm just going to live in Lala land.

You've got to start taking your skill set and start hitting the streets, trying to find

places where you can work.

And you've got too much value to add to my long-term goal.

Here's the thing, and I say this over to respect, it doesn't matter what your long-term goal

is right now, because you're like trying to explain to me and Jade what your beach house

is going to look like, and your boat sank out from underneath you in the middle of the

ocean.

You've got to swim to shore first.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

Well, I plan to move to a different location to get more clients in June, so that's kind

of why I'm like...

That's great, but even if you max out your earning potential, what is the max on your

job?

50 grand?

60 grand?

Yeah, that's true.

You're going to owe $125 when you're all sitting down.

Like schedules.

Yeah.

I don't have any more income.

You've set yourself up with a vicious math problem, and your heart is too good, and your

skill set is too necessary for you to chain yourself to this, and then go out in the

world and say, hey, I'm here to help.

You get what I'm saying?

Mm-hmm.

And so I think all you, your future dreams, your clients that you're serving now, and in

the future, everybody is served if you just hit pause for a second and clean up the

mess that you've...

The big hole you've dug yourself, you get what I'm saying?

Yeah.

Absolutely.

And you're worth that, and it'll be real, real, real hard.

Jade, people get like a picture of what they want their life to be, and it's like I'm

going to do anything I can do to get there.

Yeah.

And man, on the way, you can find yourself in a real mess.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I believe you can.

You've just got to start doing different things if you want different results.

You got to stop borrowing money.

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Sacramento, California, let's talk to Amanda.

Hey, Amanda, what's going on?

Hey, thank you for taking my call.

How are you guys doing?

We are freezing here in Nashville, but other than that, we're doing all right.

What's going on with you?

My partner is getting married in September.

Okay.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

We've both been on baby step two since November, but we have no fun for a wedding, and we

still want to cash flow our wedding.

So I just want some advice on what the best approach would be moving forward.

Cool.

I'm excited for you guys.

So the weddings in September, you'll kind of have to do a couple of things at once.

I think the first point is figuring out what's a fair amount of money to spend in ratio

to the debt that you have.

So kind of making a realistic number.

How much debt do you guys have combined?

Combine.

We have 100,000.

Okay.

And then what's your income?

Combined.

Combined 200,000 a year.

Okay.

Excellent.

And so based on that, what do you think?

I'm sure there's a number that's floating around in your brain of a fair amount of money

to spend on this wedding.

Based on those figures.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So we already have a budget going, and that's like topping off at 18,000.

And we have about 15,000 left of that budget.

To save.

To save.

Yes.

So you've saved 3,000.

You have 15 to go.

Well, the 3,000 we have are the down payment on the wedding venue and the caterer.

Okay.

Okay.

I, for one, think that's a fair budget if you're committed to paying cash, because I feel

like by doing that, you may still also be able to make some individual headway on your

individual debts.

Yes.

That's what I'm hoping.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I, I, this is going to sound strange, Amanda, but I want to applaud you for that budget.

It's excellent.

I thought you were going to come in and be like, well, we think we can pull it off for 250

grand.

So 18, 18 grand in California tells me y'all are, y'all are squeezing things pretty hard,

right?

I don't want to spend a whole lot of money on a wedding.

This is my, I'm fortunate.

My second, my second wedding.

The first wedding was simple.

It didn't spend a lot of money either, but we have a lot of family members helping out

as well.

So that's, I think, why we're able to keep it pretty low.

I, I think this is a great exercise for both of you to commit to this 18 grand number

and do not budge, even if that means you both have to sacrifice something, you, you kind

of want it or you really want like whatever.

But yeah, I'm with, I'm with Jay.

I, I think it's a good, I think it's a good move.

Okay.

So just continue to follow the plan while saving some money each month to cashflow the rest

of the funds throughout the next nine months.

Yeah.

I mean, as much as you can get ahead, you know, part of planning the wedding is understanding

what you've got to have, you know, for deposits and have ahead of time.

So as much as you can get ahead of that and not feel like you're behind the April, I think

that's really good.

So maybe sitting down with your husband and kind of plotting out from now until September,

what each month is going to look like, what each of you is going to contribute.

And that way you have a plan together and then you also are then able to make your plan

him for his debt and you for your debt.

How much you think that you're going to be able to put towards that?

And I mean, it's going to be a little bit, it's not going to be perfect, but at least

you kind of have a sketch of what that's going to look like.

Jay, I have a question for you.

Would it make sense for there to be a single account here that money gets put into or I'm

going to come up with 9,000 and you come up with 9,000 ish?

I think.

Yeah, if you wanted to set up a fund, an account somewhere that's kind of like Switzerland

and you put all the monies in there and then everybody can see it and there's full transparency,

I think that's good.

And then each of you is responsible for certain tasks like maybe you're like handling all

the food and beverage and maybe he's handling all the, maybe he's handling nothing.

Maybe he just puts his money in the account.

That's fine.

I like that idea.

I have, I'm glad you have that perspective.

My bias is so skewed because the only people who call me are when they put all the money

in the account and then they break up three weeks before the wedding and they don't know

what to do.

I know that's not the vast majority, but so my bias is so skewed, so that's, I think it's

a good perspective.

Yeah, that's, I'm not opposed to that at all.

I was trying to think about how Sam and I did it and I really don't remember, so I like

that idea.

It's not bad.

Very cool.

All right, let's go out to Newark, New Jersey and talk to Tiffany.

Hey, Tiffany, what's going on?

Hey, I'm good.

How are y'all?

Excellent.

What's up?

So, I just finished baby step three.

I worked in the film industry and my income has decreased to the changes in the industry

over the past three to five years, so I went from making about 80K a year to, now I make

about 52K.

Thanks.

To bring home like 3,200, I feel like I hit a film in my career and so I'm preparing to

get my MBA to gain more opportunity, but I still want to stay in my field, but I also

am not planning to take out student loans, I'm looking at the scholarship route.

So my question is, should I pause baby step four and stockpile cash to live on, or should

I try to start a side business, that's the thing I've been considering the pain that

builds while I'm in grad school?

The first question is, what is, how long have you been working in the industry?

Six years.

Okay, so what is an MBA going to give you that you seeing multiple businesses run all

at the same time, like film industry, there's so many different businesses happening all

at the same time, I would think you have a grasp on the quote unquote business world that

very few people have, what would an MBA get you that you don't already have?

More opportunities specifically in the world of producing on a studio level, and that's

where a lot more of the money comes from, and a lot of people who I've kind of talked

to, who have gone that track, that's been a huge recommendation to get my MBA.

Okay, so my second question would be, can you not get your MBA and still continue to

work at the same time?

That's the thing, a lot of the scholarships that I'm looking into, it have to be a full

time student, so it's not, I guess it's not impossible, but it is, it would be a lot

harder, where I'm not sure how successful I would be if I was still, if I was able to

focus full time on the program.

And it's two years?

Yeah, I want to talk about two, another one is three.

Okay, so even if you get a full ride, I want you to also calculate in the lost $52,000

per year.

Okay.

So it's going to cost you the tuition and your, you know, in the college world room and

board, right?

Like you're, you're going to stuff to live, you're still going to have to eat, right?

Buy a computer and all that kind of stuff.

But you're also going to have the missed opportunity of $104,000 in income over two years.

Yeah.

And so just when you're calculating out the ROI and what you think this is going to do

for you and what you think, if you're watching the film industry dissolve underneath you,

as everyone is across the country, is getting into production, putting all your eggs in

that basket to the tune of $104,000 minus two years in the workforce to then circle back

is it, is that a good ROI downstream?

That sounds really tenuous to me.

I just have a heart and I may be totally wrong Tiffany, but I have a very hard time believing

that an MBA in a classroom is going to be better than on the job experience.

Am I wrong?

So the programs that I'm looking at with the film industry being very much, it's who,

you know, slash it's where you go.

It's also being able to tap into a very specific, what is it, like, network?

Yeah, that's why I'm like, seems like being out there, meeting people, being on jobs,

being on sets.

I don't know, I'm just, I'm, I'm liking it to the music business.

I would think that that's far more valuable than being in a classroom, being taught concepts.

Or I work with both Jade and I work with film literary folks, many women from the film

industry that are here on staff, that video everything and all the things all the time

and edit and cut and produce.

And I don't know a single one of them has an MBA.

Yeah, I, I'm not trying to, you're there, I'm not, but I just, it doesn't feel, it doesn't

seem like it's going to return what you think it's going to return and it, to John's point,

it's a lot of time and money lost.

I think if you can find a way to work while doing this and you're getting it paid for,

for scholarships or for free fine, but to lose three years without work, I don't know

about that.

Yeah.

I might go back to the drawing board on that plan.

And it, I remember a lot of my students went to grad school because they were bored with

their current lives or they didn't like their current jobs and that's not a reason to

pause for two or three years, take out a bunch of debt or not make an income.

So just think all the way through it.

Hey, what's up?

This is Dr. John Deloney from my friends at Mama Bear Legal Forms.

I spend a lot of time talking with people about anxiety, relationship challenges and all

kinds of other things that keep people up at night.

One thing I'm always telling everybody is that peace does not come from avoiding hard

things.

Peace comes from facing hard things and directly walking through them.

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Let's go out to H tone and talk to John.

Hey, John, what's up brother?

Hey y'all, so I am on baby step one, maybe two and a half.

I am $79,000 in debt at 26.

I got fired in March of 2025 for my job.

I've been living purely on my VA income, which is about $3,000 a month at this point and

I'm still a certified paramedic.

I'm going back to school with the VA once again and I just really feel like I'm behind

on life at this point and really don't know where to turn with as much debt as I'm

doing.

I'm glad you called, man.

How old are you?

26.

26.

You got laid off in March, how come you haven't come back to work?

I have been struggling to find jobs that can work with my schedule as a student.

My job that I got fired from worked pretty well with my school schedule and it really

didn't conflict much and being a paramedic, the only jobs that can really find are with

fired apartments or private ambulance companies that have pretty oddball schedules that

aren't really work with school.

I have a few interviews with hospitals that are hiring paramedics here in Houston but

I haven't really found much success with getting passed in interview.

What are you going to school for?

I'm going to school for finance ironically enough.

Okay.

When are you finished?

I'll be finished in October of 2020, not October, December of 2029.

Oh, so you're just getting started.

Yeah.

So anytime I feel squashed or I feel stuck between an either or decision, one of the things

is just a practice I run myself through and my wife and I do it is we just dump a bunch

of variables on the table just to remind ourselves we're not trapped.

Okay.

Because you've trapped yourself.

Yeah.

You've trapped yourself into this is the only kind of job and has to have this kind of

schedule and I have to get this degree in this area right now.

And I kind of am walked into where I go to school because I'm on the VRE as a disabled veteran.

So they determine my schooling and everything like that because they consider it vocational

rehab and that's the other side of it.

But you can't pause for a year and get your feet underneath there financially.

They would require me to pay back what they've already set forth for school.

All right.

Then if that's the case, then you're going to have to pause looking for a paramedic job,

just especially since that's not what you're going to school for and you're going to have

to look at becoming a teller at a local bank, learning finance from the floors, like sweeping

the floors on up.

You got to let that you're going to have to let that dream go for a season because here's

my concern.

I can hear it in your voice.

This is less and Jay's going to walk you the money part of this, but you've stopped

believing in yourself.

And that's like getting up and going and contributing to a thing is way more important than making

sure it's in this the field that you want or you happen to have a certification because

of your military, all that kind of stuff, brother, you need to get up where people see

you and they're like glad that you're there.

Yeah.

Right?

Especially if you were telling me you're going to go to nursing school or you're going

to do something like that would make sense that you're trying to get a job in a hospital.

Right now, you're just pausing the workforce and you're getting a degree in a totally

different field.

So start getting experience in that field.

So four years from now, you've got four years working at a local bank doing stuff or

a local credit union and you got a degree in finance and now you're at Hit the Road.

Do you know what I'm saying?

Yes, sir.

Okay.

Jay, talk to this good man about his money situation.

Tell me about the $79,000 of debt, what type of debt is that?

So I have 14,000 in student loans from paramedic school because I wasn't approved for the GI bill

when I first head out of the service.

So I have 14,000 in student debt.

I have a $15,000 personal loan that I used to pay off all my credit cards.

At the time when I was working, it was, I think, the interest rates on it's only 5%.

It was a good idea at the time because it helped eat a lot of my burden instead of paying

multiple banks.

I was just paying one loan and it's my car that's $800 a month as well and that interest

rate is 7%.

What's the full balance on the car?

38,000.

Okay.

Where's the rest?

I got 68 here.

The rest is, I think, let me see my car here.

I might have miscalculated on my car.

Is it 48?

It's 48.

You're right.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that's the glaringly obvious thing right now.

You're basically making $4,800 from the VA a year and your car is $48,000.

Yeah.

So we have, that's some, the good news is that's something you can make right like this

weekend.

This weekend, brother.

Okay.

Do you have any money saved anywhere?

I've spent my whole savings when I first got fired, trying to keep a float.

Okay.

So here's what I think the plan of action is.

First off, we're going to give you every dollar because I think that you don't have

a budget and so Christian's going to pick up, we'll get you every dollar and that's

going to help you see with the $3,000 that you're currently making to John's point, you're

going to start making more but today you make $3,000.

We're going to see how much margin you have and we're going to set a plan for how

quickly can you save up a little bit of cash so that you can get out of this $48,000

car and into a cash car that you're maybe paying $4,000 or $5,000 for.

That's the plan.

And so that's like, I want all forces focused and trained on that mission.

And then once you do that, we can say, okay, now we just have $30,000, $29,000 to clear

out here and we're going to start with whatever smallest.

If the student loans are broken up to pieces, we'll start with throwing any extra money

on that smallest student loan and do it like that.

So this is something that you can get out of what's going to really break you free is

income.

That is the magical elixir for this entire deal here.

So.

Imagine your life, even if you just go get a job, make it in the $36,000 grand.

Another $3,000 a month.

Think about how that changes your life.

Yeah.

If you suddenly have $6,000 and especially if you're doing it towards the field you want

to get into.

And peripherally, right, like cleaning the trash bins at a local credit union, it gets

you in the door, right?

Yeah, it does.

And so I would exhale and put my dreams of being a paramedic to rest and get on about

if that's what you want to do finance for whatever reason.

If that's what you want to do, I would put all my energy going that away.

Okay.

How upset down are you on this truck?

Um, not that what do you mean by upside down?

Do you owe more on it than it's that you then you could sell it for?

It's a 2026.

So what could you, what do you think you could sell it for a private party?

Uh, I'm not even sure on that side.

So if it's anything less than 48, that would mean you're upside down.

So let's say you owe 48, but when you look it up on Kelly, blue book, the Kelly blue book,

it says, I don't know, 46 or 45, that mean that you're two to $3,000 upside down on

it.

Okay.

Okay.

And don't look to go trade it in, look to sell it to somebody on Facebook marketplace.

And put in the, put in the ad, I'm a veteran selling my truck or my car.

It's in great condition.

Here's what I'm asking for it and get that sucker sold and then you'll feel the weight

of this, just leave your shoulders almost overnight.

And if you are upside down, what you would do is you would just go over to the bank or

credit union, wherever you can get somebody to loan you the 3,000 or whatever it is, hopefully

you're not upside down.

But if you are, that's what you would do because you're going to need the full amount to

get the title.

So if you sell it private party, you're going to need to put whatever you owe with it in

order to get that and get a clean title.

So yeah.

So thanks for the call brother.

Thank you for your service.

It feels like you are way behind and you're under a huge mountain.

The good news is you're only 26, you got a long way to go.

You're in school, you're doing the right things.

You just got to get some right things in order and you got to get out from underneath

that big giant car payment.

This is the Ramsey Show.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey show in the Fairwinds Credit Union studio.

I'm John Deloney joined by bestselling author and wonderful me being Jade or shall take

in your calls on money, life, your relationships, whatever you've got going on, your work,

all of it.

Triple 8-825-225.

Squat the Phoenix, Arizona, and talk to Shelby.

Hey Shelby, what's going on?

Hi, how's it going?

We're doing great.

How about you?

Doing good today.

Excellent, excellent.

What's going on?

So I am almost out of debt.

I'm so close I can taste it.

Congratulations.

How much have you paid off?

So far just over 50,000.

Oh my goodness.

Amazing job.

Great work.

What's up?

So I'm almost out of debt, but it feels like my mom wants to keep me in debt.

Every little thing that happens, she's offering me money.

Oh, just pay me back.

$20 a month.

Just pay me back.

And I don't want to do that.

I'm so close.

I don't want to take more money, but at the same time, it would really help me.

OK, so this is like classic temptation.

Of course the idea sounds good, but you've already decided it's not good for you to do

that.

So it's a moot point, right?

And it's something like she did loan me some money recently.

I had emergency mental work done, and I have $1,000 saved.

No more than that.

And it was a point like I need it done.

I cartalled the client if I try to pay it, and I'm sitting here in the dentist chair.

And so she's offering you the money, is what you're saying?

Yes, and I took that and it felt like I gave her a little bit.

And now it's bigger things.

Oh, you have to pay $3,000 in taxes.

Let me loan you money.

Just pay me back someday.

Or you don't have to say yes.

I know.

And I don't know how to broach that because it's coming from a good place.

She wants to help me.

And yes, it would help.

This has nothing to do with her.

I was going to say thank you, John.

Go ahead.

You've been tested with you because you know who else is sitting right there wanting

to offer you money?

Visa, MasterCard, local bank.

And it's all in the same vein of I'm not going to borrow money anymore, especially from

somebody I've got a close relationship to that would drive a wedge between us.

Yeah, and I told her like I don't want you to be my lender or my mom.

What did she tell you?

What did she tell you?

Yes, that would grace us.

Take it.

She just wants me to take it.

She's like, oh, it would help.

Let me help.

Of course, it would help.

Of course, it would help.

But that's not what we're doing here.

Yeah.

That's what we're doing here.

And I'd even go back further.

I mean, walking into the dentist.

That couldn't have surprised you, right?

It was.

It wasn't emergency.

I get that it was an emergency, but every dentist I've ever met has some sort of payment

plan, some sort of program, some sort of, I can give you $500 today.

I can give you $1,000 today.

It's going to wipe out my emergency fund.

And then I'll give you like it.

I don't know any dentist that doesn't have some sort of plan because they deal with that

all the time.

Yeah.

Nobody has got such.

My plan I had there was 1200 today and 1200 next week, which I couldn't afford, so she

did help me.

But now it's even bigger things.

She wants to help me pay my taxes.

She wants me to get the nearest for my wedding.

Great.

Great.

Just the answer to all that is I'm so grateful, but no, thank you.

Okay.

That's it.

And then you are going to have to go through and get wedding photos without new veneers

on.

Yeah.

You're going to have to scratch and claw and work extra and do whatever to pay your taxes.

By the way, by April, right?

No, I'm sorry.

Yeah.

What are they?

Yeah, by April.

Yes.

I need a $3,000 by then.

Yeah.

You're going to do that.

You're so close.

How much do you have left?

With the 2500 by mom just gave me, it put me back up to 9,000 left.

Okay.

How much do you make?

I make between 60 and 90 in a year.

Most of my income is bonus, bonus, but like last year, I made a 78.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, I think the biggest part of this conversation is just you making a decision

and drawing that line in the sand that you don't borrow money.

And when you do that, it just opens up your mind to creating other scenarios for solving

your problems.

And I think right now, as much as it kind of feels like my mom is doing this, my mom is

doing this, I kind of think that you're putting out a radar, like I think you're putting

out a home.

What is it, a homing signal that it comes to you?

And I think that's on you to go, you know, I'm not looking for this and I don't want this

and it's just nowhere in my view.

And I think that's going to help a lot.

And then I think it's just you saying very clearly to your mom, thank you.

But please don't keep offering me because honestly, I'm tempted by it and I don't want

to be tempted.

I really want to live a debt-free lifestyle and I certainly don't want to owe you money.

And I think that's that on that.

You got 9,000 to go.

You've paid off 50.

You've done a great job.

There's no doubt in my mind that you can't finish this up and move on to the next steps.

And what I'm going to tell you right now is complete and total hogwash, woo-woo, okay?

This has just been my experience with any sort of finish line.

Whether it's I want to get a new degree, I'm trying to lose X amount of pounds, I want

to be able to run a certain time on a mile, whatever the thing is.

It's always right before I get to the end, and this is woo-woo.

The universe sends some huge temptation my way.

And I've just come to look at it as it's I'm being tested.

Am I really who I say I am, right?

Yeah.

And you're so close to the end and it just feels like you're so close, you've worked so

hard.

You've busted your butts, pay off 50 grand, and now the temptation is like, are you really

all in on the steel?

And I can imagine after 50 grand making 75, you've been doing this a while, haven't you?

I actually started going crazy at my loans back in this last April.

Okay.

So my guess is you're tired now and you're bored of this.

Oh yeah.

Yeah.

I make too much money to feel like I have no money.

Okay.

So let's just keep going.

Keep going.

Yes.

Keep going through the boring, keep going through the tired, keep going through the inconvenience.

You're so close.

You're almost there.

Making 75 grand.

When are you going to be done with this thing three months?

I hope so.

Will you commit to J9 that you'll be done?

I don't know.

You left out of the five loans.

Do what?

I only have two of the five loans left, so I'm almost, it's there.

Oh man.

What's your, what's your margin every month?

What are you putting towards this every month?

Um, so where I am in the snowball right now is five, ten.

That's like all my paid off minimums and the new minimums.

And I'm throwing maybe another seven, eight hundred towards the month.

Seven to eight hundred.

Um, what's your take home every month?

What is that being about four thousand to five thousand dollars plus every other paycheck

I get a bonus anywhere between zero dollars and two thousand dollars.

Every other check you get a two thousand dollar bonus.

So wouldn't this go a little bit faster?

It feels like I had a lot of moving costs that put a halt in it and two bonuses have

been zero dollars.

Okay.

Understood.

So you're kind of, you're feeling a little bit deflated I think.

But I think that the last couple of weeks or even the last couple of months are not

an accurate snapshot of the intensity that you have been working this.

I think you just had a couple of things that have really made you feel some type of way.

I just want to encourage you to keep going.

This is going to be gone faster than you think.

I think you just have to remember how quickly you were going before the dentist hit, before

the move hit, before all those other things.

This is going to be gone before you know it and you're going to feel a major weight off.

Hey, don't forget to replace your thousand dollar emergency fund.

I think that's also going to help you going forward.

And when you don't believe you can do it, remember jed and I believe in you.

Keep going.

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How are we doing?

Good, how are you?

Thank you so much for taking my call and the huge fan.

Of course, thanks for calling.

So my question is, I have a little bit of a dilemma and I don't have to handle it because

I've already tried it in a couple different ways.

But my fiance and I have been together for 20 years and I know it sounds a whole lot.

We're not married yet.

When did you get engaged?

We have been engaged for 12.

Nice, I have so many questions, but I won't even ask them.

Go ahead.

OK, yeah, that's a whole different topic.

So he bought a house about 10 years ago.

Well, actually, seven years ago, I've been living with him for 10.

Anyhow, when it was kind of a rush clothing, and I was never put on the deed or the loan

for that matter because my credit was never that great, well recently my dad passed away

within the last five years and he had everything in order when he passed and it was a burden

off me and my family sores.

And I'm trying to do the same for my kids, I know I'm not going to be here forever.

But whenever I bring this up to him, hey, I think we should put my name on here in case

something happens.

He either pushes it aside or he kind of comes up with stuff like your credit's bad,

they're going to come and take the house or we'll get in an argument and you know, it's

he thinks I'm just after it for the house and I'm not.

Now on a side note, in the deed, there's a clause that is a first rate of refusal because

it's bumped up against business as property.

OK.

So if something happens, they would actually get the first rate to buy it if it doesn't come

to me.

Interesting.

So he could like send it to his family, but his family would turn around and say, OK,

we'll all sell it to you for dirt cheap, but they would have the first rate of refusal

before I would even get it.

And I don't know how to address it because I've always brought it up.

And like I said, it just keeps pushing aside, but I would like to have some kind of security

and knowing that if anything happens to him, that I would be able to have some place

to live.

Yeah.

OK, yes, tell me the finance side of it.

Who is who pays for that?

He pays before the mortgage.

Like when I moved in, the deal was he would pay the mortgage and the utilities and I pay

anything extra groceries, cable, anything like that.

And will that be the fact after you get married as well?

Um, yes.

And in your mind, do you guys have sever bank accounts?

Yes.

OK, so here's what I'm going to say.

This is controversial.

You're operating separate lives.

You're just living in the same house because financially you're separate.

You've spent 20 years, 12 years, betrothed and have not committed.

I can, part of me understands he's just going in line with the way everything's always

been.

You're separate.

You're not on the mortgage.

You're not on, therefore you're not on the deed.

My money's over here.

Your money's over there.

I can understand why it is that way.

So unless you guys are going to fully commit and when I say fully, I'm, John, this is your

space.

But unless you're going to do that, you're getting the spoils of what you guys have put in

place.

Yeah.

My guess is, I'm sorry.

My guess is, and I can be way out to lunch here because every state is so different.

My guess is you'd have a common law claim to this.

That does not go into play anymore.

Okay.

Well, here's, here's the, I never looked into that.

I would look into it, but here is the, under the guise of behavior is a language.

I think he is telling you loud and clear, this isn't your house.

You will never be your house.

You can live here, but this is not yours.

You're not going to have a claim to it.

Stop asking me about it, right?

Yeah.

Okay.

And there's something powerful about just clearing all of the ice and snow off the sidewalk

and standing firm and saying, this is what the sidewalk looks like.

So what am I supposed to do with, should I like, you save up and find something, just

to case, something happens to him that I would be, I would ask yourself, is he the father

of your children?

No.

He's not.

Okay.

How old are your kids?

They're all adults.

They're 27, 25 and 23.

Okay.

Do you have your own retirement, your own savings?

Yes.

What does that look like?

Well, my retirement, it's a pension, and then I actually am on baby step two.

So my savings isn't that fantastic right now, but it should be a thousand bucks and you're

trying to feverishly pay off debt.

Yes.

Yeah.

I'm on step two and I'm rolling with it and it feels wonderful right now.

So I'm hoping that that feeling stays for a long time.

This is a gross simplification and I'm going to say it's going to sound rude.

If we were talking in person, I would take a lot longer before I said this, but we've

got a compressed time because we're on the radio, okay?

You've been playing house for two decades and at some point, the play stops and it feels

like you are recognizing, oh, he could go in any day, like all of us could, and I'm going

to be left with nothing.

And just to add to that, what you're requesting is a simple piece of paperwork to be added

to the DSEC.

It's not much.

It's not at all.

And I even asked him to, and I was like, well, if you're so concerned about it, then put

one of the kids on it, you know, but one of the kids, I mean, I know they're not his

biologically, but I mean, he raised him.

I mean, we've been together like I said, 20 years and my youngest is 23, but it's not just

that.

No, it's not just that.

He also hasn't married you.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Am I right?

I don't want to, I don't want to overstep, but would you have gotten married way sooner

if he would have done it?

Well, we were planning on getting married.

And that's like I said, the whole other point is like, when we got engaged, my oldest was

just getting ready to start college.

So we did the whole financial aid thing and it would have really messed up my kids'

financial aid.

They got a lot of scholarships.

They got a lot of grants because I didn't make a lot.

So I understand we would have gotten married, that would have screwed up the kids' financial

aid.

So you say, you know, every two years, and they were going for more years.

But it's still been 12 years, so again, I'm not trying to overstep, but that is saying

something.

Yeah.

Behaviors of language.

Okay.

And so you, here's the thing, you can't make him do anything.

All you can decide is here is what I'm worth.

Here's what I value.

And I want to be with people who think I have worth and who value me now and after they're

gone.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Any self-respecting husband, and I'm going to call him that, even though you'll aren't

officially married, you'll be together for 20 years and whatever, builds an entire ecosystem.

So that his wife carries on when he's gone.

It's a shame that, what is it, 77% of households don't have a will.

It's embarrassing.

Yeah.

Right?

It's a shame that you would possibly consider that when you die, your house is going to

go to somebody else, and the old girlfriend's just going to be out on her own.

It's so shameful.

It's so shameful.

I'm embarrassed on behalf of men everywhere.

Yeah.

I mean, it's the property's beautiful, you know, and it's just, it doesn't matter if

it's a one bedroom shack.

It's been y'all's, but he's on the piece of paper and anytime you bring it up, he makes

you feel dumb for it.

Let me say it this way.

You're not crazy.

You just get to decide what's next.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

And like Jade said, it's not, it's a very, it's a very low stress thing to add you

to a deed.

Exactly.

It just is.

But my guess is he has actively kept you off the deed because it is his house that you

are living in, that he's paying for, that he's going to pass on to his family.

And if that's the case, and you get to, and you decide to stay with him, great, you

need to make other options and make other plans with savings, paying off debt, getting yourself

set up for the inevitable day when one of you till death does your whole part, right?

Or you can say, I'm worth more than this.

I just am.

And I want to be with somebody who's going to care for me now and set up a plan for

me after I'm gone.

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All right.

Today's question comes from Brianna in Nevada.

She says, when I try to explain to my husband what a waste it is to eat out, he gets offended.

I tell him we can eat out for $100 and never see that money again or I can buy groceries

for $100 and that last for a week.

His response is always but eating out is still fed you so you survived.

Okay.

He's trading the convenience of eating out for our long-term goals of paying off debt and

saving for a down payment.

How can I convince him that eating out is keeping us from reaching our financial goals?

Okay.

I think what's actually at play is just two sets of values here.

He's willing to go to a certain extent to pay off debt and you're willing to go beyond

the extent that he's willing to go if that makes sense.

Oh boy, oh boy.

Okay.

So I wish these are the ones, John, I wish we had more to it.

I'd love to know how much debt they had.

I'd love to know what their income is.

I'd love to know a little bit more.

I want to know who cooks in this house and maybe it's not great.

Yeah.

We have to eat out.

Honestly, facts.

That is a real part of it.

Some people eat to survive and eat to live and other people eat for enjoyment.

I'm a person.

If it doesn't taste good, I just, I don't eat it.

I'd rather eat two bites of something that's delicious than a whole meal of something

that's terrible.

I just can't.

My guess is you're probably going about this all wrong.

We've got to figure out a way to make this exciting for both people.

I'm guessing you guys never aligned on why we're doing all of this to begin with.

That's it.

To me, this looks like to me like eating out has become the proxy war for the real issue,

which is we're not aligned on sacrificing to get to a common goal.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, and.

Oh boy.

Let me just tread into this for a second and the truth is there's two people, right?

He has a set of values.

You have a set of values.

You want to align on how are we going to do our money?

You have to decide which hills you're going to die on because you're trying to get, in

many ways, you're trying to get a little deer to come to you and do these baby steps.

You don't want to scare it away.

So if everything else is like trucking along and it's like, hey, we're making progress.

This is just the one area that they're a little bit reticent to come on board.

All right.

What's a way that we can slowly make that transition versus bashing somebody on the

head of, you're doing 99% of the things I asked you to do, where's the, and then you're

slamming them for the one percent, right?

Maybe uncommon opinion, but maybe that's, maybe it's better than we think, right?

Does that, do you see what I'm saying with this?

Can we agree?

No appetizers, no drinks, and we don't have to get rid of eyes.

Yes.

And do we have to eat out?

Does it have to cost a hundred bucks?

Yes.

Or can it cost 35, right?

I would just hate for this one thing to be the bone of contention when so many other things

are maybe on track or hitting right.

And it usually is one of two things, right?

It's that.

It is somebody that, you know, amazing is the enemy of perfection, right?

It's got to be perfect.

Or this is one of many, many places where they're not aligned.

Yes.

This is just the easiest place for everybody to land, right?

Yes.

And we fight about, we fight about eating out, we fight about money, but there's, that's

just a tip of the iceberg, right?

Yes.

And only Brianna knows that.

If that's the case, one than one hundred percent, there's, there's many things that

stay care.

But if truly you can look at the situation and go, it's like my husband making up the bed

every day.

He's making up the bed.

He may not do it exactly to the tea the way I make up the bed.

But the man is making up the bed.

So I'm just going to leave that right there.

Hey, and leave the bed around.

I make the bed often.

It's kind of like whoever's the last one out makes the bed.

And I notice sometimes that I come back in after making the bed.

She let's redone it.

It's nicer than when I did it.

Yeah.

And that used to make me mad.

It used to be like, oh, I'm not, and now it's like, you know what?

She can do whatever she wants.

If she didn't say anything, and she just went back in and remade it, it's awesome.

Awesome.

Amazing.

Yeah.

We both won.

We both won.

And here's the deal, Brianna, at the end of the day, you don't have to go out.

Yeah, he could go by himself.

You don't have to go out the, you can say, I'm going to save that money.

And I want to stay committed to the goals that we made.

And so if you feel like you need to go out great, I'll just stay here and eat the napkins

in the glove box.

Yeah.

Because I guess somebody's got a...

Sleeting by example.

Which is pretty awesome.

I'll just have yogurt and granola, and we'll call it, or whatever.

But you don't have to go.

You don't have to go.

You've got more autonomy in this thing than you think you do.

But I, I don't know.

I think there's a conversation beneath this conversation, which is, are we aligned

on this deal?

I agree.

I'm going to San Antonio, Texas, and talk to Lily.

Hey, Lily, what's going on?

Hi.

Yes.

So I am currently enrolled in an online class at the GCU.

I'm studying for education, and they have me with a, they put, with my account, doing

it with like the fastest of the guys' loans, however my mom offers to take out equity

on the house.

And then pay her back.

Okay.

What if you stop doing everything that you're doing, except for going to school, and just

doing that somewhere else?

Yeah.

So I currently also work full-time, and the program at GCU is one class every eight weeks.

And that really works for...

Did you say at TCU?

GCU, yeah.

GCU.

Yeah, yeah.

So a private online faith-based university.

Yes.

Ooh.

Very expensive, correct?

Yes.

Yes.

And...

One thousand five hundred per class.

Okay.

Oh gosh.

Whereas you could get a teacher to a kid, and by the way, and I don't want to be that

guy, but I'm going to be that guy for a second.

I worked a full-time job and got two PhDs while working full-time jobs.

It was not fun.

It had kids.

It was miserable.

Right.

And we just...

You do it for a season, and then you get on about your life.

Right.

Right.

And so you're picking a very expensive place, and now it's all the way to where your mom's

considering putting her house on the block.

Exactly.

Please don't do that to her.

Exactly.

No, and that's what I told her.

I don't...

I don't want to do that.

Don't do this to yourself.

Don't do this to...

Like, there's...

This tells me that you didn't look through a whole bunch of other options, because there

are other options in your area.

Why does it have to be this one in your mind?

In my mind, it's because it's online, and it's more flexible.

Oh.

So we're just looking for flexible online school.

That's the criteria.

I love that.

That means there's tons of options.

Tons of options.

Yes.

Yeah.

I also saw the Western Governor's University G.

Yes.

Yes.

How much cheaper is that?

A lot.

A lot.

And by the way, I've worked at multiple faith-based universities, private schools.

I love them.

I'm a huge believer in them, but I'm not a believer in mortgaging your souls for it.

I'm not a believer in your mom putting her house on the block for it.

Exactly.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

And so, yeah, I...

I would...

You feel like you've boxed yourself in.

So I...

I mean, that's not why you called, but I want you to be a teacher.

We need more great teachers out there.

We really, really do.

I don't want you to go into debt up to your eyeballs and then, you know, have your mom

breathe and done.

And just the whole thing seems like a mess.

Exactly.

And that's what...

Yeah.

That's why I was calling because I don't...

I didn't feel comfortable about it.

Yeah.

And so I didn't hear your original thing.

Your fast-foods linked to who?

So, like, I guess the way I did it when I applied to GCU, they linked my account to do

the fastest subsidized loan.

So I was already going to start, because I got some money from the Pell Grant, but then

after that money runs out, they were going to start putting it on the loan.

Yeah, but I bet the Pell Grant will cover Western governors.

Exactly.

Yeah.

Just quick question.

Do you guys recommend that money or like...

I recommend...

Here's what I recommend.

Don't borrow money.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, exactly.

But that is a chief principle.

It narrows your options.

And if you really want to, like, determine to be a teacher, you'll find a way.

And it will...

You'll be tired, and you'll be exhausted, and you'll have to do things that are inconvenient,

whatever.

But you'll get out, and you won't owe anybody anything.

So that's what we recommend.

But check out other options if that's your criteria, because there's many out there.

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Go back to Houston and talk to Dustin.

Hey Dustin, what's going on?

Hey John, how are you?

I'm good brother, how are you, man?

I'm doing well.

It's a pleasure to talk to both of you.

You too, man.

I'm a listener and a first time caller.

I just need some guidance.

My question is, would you guys recommend me buying a house even though I don't like the

job I'm currently in?

I am 28 years old, single, never married and no kids.

I have a good down payment of about $93,000, various stock options of about 13,000, 44,000

in an IRA, 18,000 of three to six months of emergency fund and 35,000 in 401k.

As you guys can tell, I have been saving money for years at this point and I'm just in

a job that I'm not really passionate about and I need your guidance, please.

I mean, if you think that there's going to be the opportunity for you to move cities

here coming up in the next three to five years, yeah, I might not, I might not put down

roots just yet.

What do you think the horizon would be for you moving jobs?

I'm open to it.

I've been based here in Houston my whole life and I've always wanted to move cities, make

a big change like that.

What's holding you back?

Never.

A family.

My family is, I'm really close to my family and we're all within a ten-minute span of

each other right now, currently live with my mom, so it's been a big blessing being

here with her.

I'm just not really sure if I'm ready to make that change.

It doesn't sound like it's, you're at a place to buy a house yet and I always have just

an internal hesitation anytime somebody says, quote unquote, they're not following their

passion.

Unpack that for me a little bit.

Do you hate your job?

It's a job, I'm not passionate about it.

What have you created outside of work that makes you feel alive, that brings you joy,

that hobbies, friends?

Hobbies, honestly, this investing, as you can tell, I've been, I love investing, I love

talking to friends about it.

It's something I'm truly passionate about and originally whenever I went to school, I

went to school for this and things happened and I had a shift gears, just not really

sure where the...

Here's where I'd rather you spend energy and Jay, I'd love to hear your thoughts on

this because you've made similar changes like I have.

I would prefer, here's the thing, any path you take is going to be challenging, staying

at home, challenging, buying a house in Houston, staying in a great job that you just don't,

I mean, it's just a job and trading on the side because it lights you up and hanging

out with dudes who like to trade and y'all like talking about that, that would be challenging

to packin' up and moving to New Jersey, you're going to go with you or wherever whatever

city you end up in and just for an adventure, you'll go with you so you're seeing concerns

and insecurities, all stuff will go with you, that's going to be a challenge.

So, you've paralyzed yourself with, I don't know about this, I don't know about that,

I'm interested in you backing all the way out and asking yourself the old Mary Oliver

quote, what am I going to do with my one reckless tiny little life?

Like, who do I want to be?

What do I think is fun?

What do I think is adventurous?

You've set yourself up financially, pretty amazingly.

And if staying with your family is most important, cool, it's going to come at a cost and if

going on adventure is most important, that's going to come at a cost.

And if safety and security, like with your job, you're not wildly in love with it, that's

going to come at a cost, quitting this and going all in on a new career, that will come

at a cost.

So, all your paths are going to come at a cost, it's just you choosing which one do you

want to do.

You're not attached to anything else.

Yeah, I mean, when I listen to what you said, it's kind of, to me, obviously there's

no wrong choice here, but the obvious is the life you have you've been doing that

like you've tried it.

So, there's no unknown there.

Why not do the thing that's the unknown so you can get some research on that?

Yeah.

If you stay where you are, you learn nothing new, but if you actually go try the things

that you're thinking of, maybe I do want a different job, maybe I do want to change

a scenery, go actually try it because Texas will be waiting for you if you ever want

to go back.

Absolutely.

What do you do for a job now?

I currently work in oil and gas.

Okay.

Last I checked, that's not going anywhere, right?

No, sir.

You're pretty good at it.

I believe so.

Okay.

So, finding a place, especially back in Houston, which is one of the oil and gas mechas,

wouldn't be super difficult.

It might be hard to come right back in with your stock options and same salary and all

that, but you'd find your way back because you're good at what you do.

Yes.

Fair?

Yes, sir.

I, it sounds to me, brother, like you've set yourself up for just a moment as this to either

take a risk, like Jade says, you know the life.

I love that.

Like you, you, you know, you already know this.

You know this life.

And if it's more, more than not bringing you the life that you want to have, cool, or you

set yourself up financially to really jump off the bridge and see if you can fly.

And if you hate it, great, we'll be back in six months.

We'll be back in a year.

We'll be back in two years.

Jade, one thing I hear a lot is people think if I take this job or if I move to this city,

it just feels like forever, right?

Sure.

And it's, there's some freedom in realizing no, it doesn't have to be forever.

I mean, specifically in his case, he's single, he's completely unattached.

There's nothing keeping him.

If he goes to New Jersey and hates it, there's nothing from keeping him from saying, well,

let me try Montana.

All right.

I hate that.

Let me go to Utah, right?

You, you know, are up and moving a family of four and everybody's dependent.

You know, like, obviously, there's things that can make, create more stakes there.

But for a guy like this, he's 28.

His family will be there.

You know what I mean?

He's got, listen, you got all the time in the world, the world is your oyster.

Yeah.

I would go try it.

In your case, why leave anything on the table?

When we used to play basketball back in the day, they'd say, leave it all on the court.

Yeah.

And it's the same thing.

Like, don't be looking back thinking, man, I wish I, I wonder what it would have been

like if I had just filled in the blank.

And normally we take this call from folks who are 100 grand in debt, who've got kids,

got other responsibilities.

And we're like, what was slow down, slow down, slow down, this, man, you've done the exact

opposite, Dustin.

You've built yourself a great diving board platform to jump off from.

So yeah, I, I finally answer.

I say go.

Yeah, go.

Go do something wild and set a deadline on it and always feel free to come back.

Jade, what's the, what's the big leap you've taken?

Coming here.

Coming here.

Yeah, me too.

Yeah, I mean, yeah, all of my career choices have been a leap, but this is the most recent

one.

Yeah.

It was a leap for us to pack up from all of our friends and family and move across the

country.

And then it was an even crazier leap to leave everything I knew to come to this math house.

I think the hardest thing, well, it might be different for people, but I think the community

aspect, like what he said, my family's here, my friends are here.

I think that's the hard thing because it takes time to build those, those things.

You can go to a job and have a salary and have a check a month later, right?

You can put money down on a house and have that instantly.

But the things that really make life, life and make you, you are the people in the relationships.

And those are things that take a lot of time.

And so the risk is greater because it takes time to see, okay, if I put in and put in and

am I going to get the reward after however many years, maybe you will, maybe you won't.

Right.

Well, and my wife, if I could go back seven years ago when we moved to Nashville, or eight

years ago now, that's what I would tell myself.

My wife immediately plugged in with a gang and it's been amazing.

And I've been here eight years and I'm just now settling into, hey, the power has been

off for five days.

I guess I can call, right?

Yeah.

And that's what it is.

When you pack up and move and you leave family and friends, you have to be highly intentional

about saying not only do I have to get a job and not only do I have to turn the internet

and the power on, I got to get a gig.

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio.

I'm John Deloney joined by Jade Warshall taking your calls live.

Let's go to Las Vegas and talk to Steve and A. Stephen.

What's up, ma'am?

What's up, John?

How you doing, buddy?

I'm doing good, brother.

How can I help, ma'am?

Well, so I'm trying to make this brief.

I, my wife and I were on baby step two, we're making great progress, not a fact earlier

today.

I made the last payment on a credit card, get it paid off.

That a boy way to go, dude.

We didn't work in it, and honestly, I'm loving it and I told my wife, I don't care if

I'm a multi-millionaire, I'm still going to be shopping at thrift stores.

I don't see the reason to change that.

Very good.

Now, what's going on right now is with my, it's with my mother-in-law.

My wife and I have been married for several years, we have a son.

I work so she can stay home and be with our son, and I'm very grateful to be able to

do that.

She is very, very pushy when it comes to money, and she's made some really stupid financial

decisions, and she's gotten, she's tried to force my hand several times.

When we first got married, I lived in Georgia, she moved in with me, of course, after we

got married.

All right, you're talking about your wife or your mother-in-law?

Who's pushing?

My mother-in-law won't help us.

No, my wife.

So, my mother-in-law was pushing me to sell my house at a time when the market was down,

and we'd have been 20 grand in the whole hat I sold at that time.

She tried to get my wife to leave me if I refused to sell it at that time.

Oh, boy.

And she's pulled stunts like that several times, and recently tried to get me to buy a house

and I told her, look, the market is up.

If I buy it, the market's going to correct, and we're going to lose a ton of money.

Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

This has nothing to do with markets.

Like I said, let's do it with any of that stuff.

The only thing that matters here is you continuing to give your mother-in-law's wisdom and

her advice and her threats and her demands.

All of that is about power.

That's not about home ownership.

It is, and my wife is kind of a good child, and so she's always been scared to not do

what her mom says.

She's got a whole lot better.

She's come a long way.

I'm really proud of her.

What's your mother-in-law even know, the things that are going on in your house, is your

wife telling her, is your wife talking to her about things that they shouldn't be talking

about?

She's not said a whole lot, but she does tell her some things, and early on in America,

she told her too much.

She's quit doing that.

Good.

Okay, she needs to be the one that tells her mom, hey, mom, thank you for the wisdom and

the advice, but me and my husband got this.

Yeah.

I guess one of the questions, part of the problem is, I told my wife, look, we're going

to have to draw some lines in the sand with your mom, and there's going to have to

easy.

If she crosses those, there's going to be consequences.

Why?

Why?

Why don't you just let her mom say what she's going to say and you'll go on about your

lives?

Yeah.

What's a consequence in your mind?

Well, she's, I had to honestly don't know at the moment, it's just that she's caused

conflict between my wife and my over this.

Okay, but your mother-in-law is becoming a proxy war for the real issue, which is, are

you and your wife aligned on how y'all want to do your life?

We are much more, so I'm honestly the longer we've been married, the more aligned we

are.

Okay, I want you to be able to recent her back on that.

My dad and I see differences in politics, we see differences in economic, we see differences

all over the place.

And so when I'm around him, you know what he does?

He does what a dad should do, which is he tries to tell me what I need to know.

Right?

And I get to decide, I'm cutting you off, or I can listen, and there's been some wisdom

in some of the stuff he's told me over the years.

In fact, there's been a ton of wisdom.

And a lot of it, I go, that's great, man, as for you and your house, you and my mom,

y'all get to do that.

But me and my house, me and my wife, we're going to do some different.

That's great.

Right.

Right?

And if she's actively trying to divide you and your wife, that's the real issue is that

your wife has to put her foot down on that, because her mom, and if she won't, then

you and your wife have an issue, not you and your mother-in-law.

And you know, we come a lot, like I said, we don't really have as much, near as much

of an issue anymore.

I mean, my wife is, oh, whoops.

Go ahead, brother.

Sorry, man.

No, sorry.

My wife is kind of common to her own quite a bit.

She was very scared to make her mom mad when we first got married.

She's no longer that way.

Sure.

And that's common.

So it's gotten better, but something is, it's, even though it's gotten better, you're

still pushed to the point of calling a radio show.

Yeah, your mom, your, your mother-in-law can't force you to do anything legally, morally,

ethically, spirit, like you can't, you can't, you can't feel forced, right?

You can just hang up the phone.

Right.

Fair enough.

I, I think that's a place to, I think that's before we need to start, we're, we're going

on life goals and, uh, we're going to homeschool our son and I mean, we're very old school

traditional Christians, conservatives and, uh, who great, that, I mean, it, it, it, it's

only matters if you and your wife are aligned on this.

And then when y'all get aligned on it, then y'all decide together who gets a vote.

Right.

And my, my position is if you're not paying the bills, you don't get a vote.

I mean, what does that mean?

Yeah.

I, I, if you're not part of our household, I should clarify that because my wife stays

home with my wife.

That's what I was thinking.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, listen, and for whatever it's worth, I've got other men and women in my life who

don't pay my bills that I've given permission to speak into my life.

If they see me acting in a way or saying things that they're like, Hey, that's not you.

Or you're about to do something stupid with your mind.

Like I've given them permission.

I'm not just going to, like, loan ranger this thing.

That's how people like just ride their horse off the cliff.

But all it to say is you can't do that until you and your wife are aligned on who we

are going to be.

And that's, that's good advice.

Um, I mean, our, our pastor's been a great help to us.

And I've been forever grateful for his, so I've been great for, for you guys wisdom because

following the baby steps, um, I'm really loving it.

Well, that's awesome.

But, but, but I think personally, and Dave and I have talked about this over dinner

before, multiple times, I think the magic of the baby steps is, and married couples,

if it, it's a way to force alignment or waste it, not force alignment, but to force discussions

about alignment.

And when a, when a, when a couple gets aligned, there's just no stop in them.

But if, if one of y'all is all aligned on your values and you're dragging somebody else

along on these baby steps and their, and their mother keeps calling to pull you off and

it becomes even a conversation that tells me you and your wife aren't fully aligned

on where are we going and who are we going to be?

And then who gets a vote into the steps we're taking?

You give me some things to think about.

Is that fair?

And no, it's very fair.

You give me some things to think about, actually, it's, can I tell you a way to do this because

I have a feeling you're going to go home and tell your wife, you're not aligned with

me.

And that would be the wrong way.

No, no, not at all, not at all.

Absolutely.

Here's, here's what I want you to do.

I want you, not her, I want you to call somebody, to watch your son for about three or

four hours, one Saturday morning, you set it up.

And then you take your wife and say, I want us to have a dreaming retreat.

We're into this baby, we're into this baby steps thing, we're paying off our debts.

But we started sprinting before we really counted the cost of how far we're going to run

here.

Who do we want to be?

And y'all dream about what you want your house to look like, what town you want to

live in as a part of that, we're going to dream about who gets a vote in our life.

And y'all come away from that retreat, totally unified, you get what I'm saying?

I do.

I love it.

My wife will love that too.

Awesome.

Excellent.

My brother.

Deciding the identity first, I'm going to be the kind of person who takes care of

himself.

I'm going to be the kind of person who doesn't borrow money.

Then I'm going to reverse engineer goals and steps that allow me to get to that identity.

But just take off sprinting to follow the next goal, right?

If you chase an identity with action, you'll get there.

Okay.

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Hey Catherine, what's up?

What's going on?

Hi.

I am a single mom and my child support ended abruptly last month.

And I'm just had a mortgage and I have $77,000 in a heal-ocque that I just opened.

And I'm just trying to figure out how to get everything paid the debt and everything.

It's just very overwhelming.

I knew my child's support would end probably June.

I was looking for part-time jobs to compensate for the loss, but this was just very unexpected

and I just have a lot of stress.

How much was it?

The child's support was 900 a month.

That was a big amount.

For one kid or two or?

It was for two, however, he didn't end it when my son turned 18 and I don't know why.

The judge or your ex?

The ex has been.

What's the quarter order?

Tell their 18.

Okay, so can you fight this if he is choosing not too early?

What's the situation surrounding him not paying until 18?

I don't know.

His current wife does not allow him to talk to me.

My guess is he kept paying on your other child and there was a net dollar amount.

Yeah, possibly.

And once he crossed that net dollar amount threshold, it stopped.

Okay.

Would that be my guess if you contacted an attorney?

I asked you went to chat the child support office building and they said because she's

still in high school under Maryland law, he cannot just cut the child support.

So I had to get an official document from the school and provide it, but right now

I'm out that extra $900 a month with all these other bills coming in.

Okay.

Have a feeling, don't get me wrong.

He should pay for the kids.

But I have a feeling there's a lot more that's part of this equation that's making this

even tougher.

You mentioned a $77,000 heat lock.

Can you tell me a little bit more about your personal finance?

What you're earning?

How old the kids are?

All of that stuff.

Yeah.

Sure.

My kid, they're 18 and 24, only the 18 year old lives at home.

I own my house.

I owe 200 and the first mortgage and 77 on the heat lock.

Okay.

I have a $10,000 personal loan I'm paying on, I have a car payment, I owe, I think $20,000

still on my car.

I do have $47,000 in savings, so that's good.

What do you get for living?

I am a CNA, certified nursing assistant.

Okay.

What does that bring you in every month?

About $3,200.

Okay.

And how much is your mortgage again?

My mortgage is $12.91.

Okay.

Plus the heat lock.

Yeah.

Then the heat lock is $4.90.

That's what's getting you.

What did you take out a $77,000 heat lock?

Because I had a credit card and the minimum payments were getting up to like $350 a month.

So you traded $350 a month for $4.90 a month?

Well, that was just one credit card.

Okay.

That overall was like almost $1,000 in minimum payments.

Okay.

So we can't really go back, but the logic there was flawed is what John is trying to tell

you.

Because now we're paying $1,800 a month to live where we were once paying $1,291 and

it was way more reasonable with your income.

Whew, girly.

I think that you put yourself in a really tough spot because this is now your home.

That's on the line.

And it is now half of your income, more than half of your income.

So for that reason, unless you see your income going up drastically here soon, you put your

house on the line because you can't have your mortgage can't be 50% of your take home

pay.

How much equity do you have in this house?

I have 95,000.

Do you barely have enough to even clear the HELOC?

Sheesh.

Okay.

Here's the options.

I'm going to just shoot you straight.

Option one is you figure out a way to increase your income drastically because here's the

thing.

Your child's 18, even if the child support lasted until June, it was still going to go away,

which means by June, you still would have been in the same situation with your income.

So while I wish that you were still getting that money in the grand scheme of it, it's

kind of neither here nor there.

It was buying you a little bit of time here.

So unless we can figure out a path to get your income up very, very much, you might have

to sell this house.

And when you would sell it, what you would do is pay off the $77,000 HELOC and maybe have