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I hope you enjoy this story.
I have evidence that my partner intends to be unfaithful shortly after asking for my hand
and marriage, from online posts.
I, a woman aged 33, in a relationship with my partner who is also 33 years old, for
three years, discovered this information.
Settled for me.
Really confused on how to proceed.
My fiance, Tom, and I have been together for three years and got engaged only one week
ago.
One of Tom's closest friend's Adam has never liked me.
This is probably because Adam is really flirtatious with every girl he meets, single or not,
and sleeps around a lot.
When Tom first introduced me to his friend's Adam flirted pretty heavily with me but I
told him I was here with his friend and it was inappropriate.
Tom found out later about this and seemed amused because Adam flirts with everyone because
that's just Adam, but seemed to appreciate me telling him to back off.
Ever since then Adam and I have had a bit of a strained but civil relationship.
Adam isn't creepy and he did back off but he still flirts heavily with his friend's
SOS to the point of complimenting their breasts or butts and he gets away with it because
he's charming, rich, always hosts parties and things and lends his friend's shiny new
toys or lets them stay at various holiday houses or buy his expensive booze, etc.
I know all of this because he talks a lot about all this when it's just me and the guys
at Tom's place because I live there most days of the week.
To note, my job requires some out-of-state travel every week and I still have my own apartment
that I bought but rent out rooms.
Now, a few days ago Tom was out of town and I rescued his dog from a fire that started
on his neighbor's property.
I also got his laptop and a few other heirlooms out, anyway, the fire was contained to the
neighbor's property so I didn't do anything really, but there was a lot of smoke so I took
his dog to the vet, everything was fine.
By the time Tom got a flight back home things were sorted, two days later, before heading
out to a New Year's Eve party at Adam's place, Tom proposed saying that he'd always known
I was the one but this made him realize that he wanted to start this year knowing next
year we'd be married.
I said yes and spent two days ecstatic.
Until Adam called me out of the blue saying we needed to talk.
He showed me text messages from three years ago talking about how Tom had settled for me
because this really super beautiful girl that he'd slept with a few times had ended
up starting a relationship with someone else and stopped seeing him.
The messages talk about how she's the one and when he met me, I was no Megan but not
bad but that I seemed keen in marriage material.
They talked for months about how much hotter Megan is and even made fun of me for telling
Adam off the first time because Adam wouldn't date his friends so as so they weirdly agreed
it was a good sign I wouldn't cheat even though I seemed a bit bitchy.
Then Tom started going on about how I had an unusually high libido and got the congratulatory
high five from Adam but again not flattering to me.
Tom made a remark about how I must have been around the block and that he didn't usually
like used goods but sex was worth it.
This was over the course of six months, two years ago.
They kind of pet tear out into generic relationship stuff about how he can't come out because
he's got plans with me etc and then Adam talks about how whipped he is etc and then I get
to the following message.
About a day ago Tom sent Adam a text about how Megan was single and seemed interested
in him with Facebook screenshots of the conversation he had with her.
He was really excited about this.
She initiated messaging him after he posted a sympathetic comment on her relationship status
change from a week ago and she messaged him.
When she asked him what was new, he did not mention he was engaged.
She talks about the good times and confesses she should have chosen him.
He admits he was also devastated and thought they were good together and still no mention
of me.
The caption on the screenshots he sent Adam was what do you think?
And she's into me.
Adam has responded with hell yeah.
I think you have a chance etc and no mention of me at all.
Tom's responded with I know right?
Nothing further.
I was pretty upset at this point so Adam left because I asked.
I then logged into Tom's Facebook.
I guess his password was the same as his email, I was right to check their conversation
and they went on to make plans to catch up in a week when I'll be out of town and she
may be flying in to catch up with people and look at moving back after her breakup.
He then poked fun at her current city and tells her she should move back and let him know
if she needs anything.
She tells him he's sweet but she has to go now.
She's initiating all this but he's not shutting anything down or even telling her he's
engaged.
Up till this point, I've never even heard about Megan.
They don't have more Facebook messages before that except for three years ago.
Looks like she didn't contact him while she was seeing this other guy.
I've been staying at my place making up excuses and just replying to texts but I feel really
numb.
I called Adam and asked him why he told me all this when he didn't even like me and was
going behind Tom's back.
He told me it was the right thing to do by me and that Tom should be with Megan.
He was clearly still into her and I could do better.
Wasn't I grateful he didn't stay silent about this before I married him?
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I think I'll wait inside.
He said I may as well hear it from him because I didn't like him anyway.
I said thanks for letting me know and that I had a lot to think about.
I am so confused I feel used upset and like the last three years are a lie.
I feel like breaking up with Tom but then I'm also still weirded out by Adam and his motives.
I have no idea what to do.
More info, I'm not going to go for the sunken cost fallacy, I've been thinking a lot and
it's not going to work out.
I'm first going to get my stuff out of Tom's place under the guise of New Year's cleaning.
There are things there I want back.
Also, Tom's Facebook and mine are rarely updated.
But he comments a lot.
He is more active on Twitter and WhatsApp.
I barely use mine, it's mostly work people and family I don't like or high school people.
My friends use WhatsApp or Snapchat.
About Megan, I don't blame her.
She did ask him what was new in his life.
He replied not much.
People can't be stolen if they don't want to.
If she's okay hooking up with an engaged guy, then they deserve each other.
Maybe she likes the validation.
In any case, I'll let her know about me anyway.
And yeah, I'm not going to dump him before his date.
I don't get Adam at all.
Why is he so vested in getting Megan with Tom, and why is he willing to risk alienating
Tom and potentially the friends group by coming to me?
I don't think he's into me.
He has no trouble with women and so far hasn't actually slept with his friends s.os.
Just flirted.
I've also seen pictures of Megan, so why do you come after me when he could tell her
Tom is engaged and looking to cheat?
Whatever, I need some distance from him too.
Argg, I'm cycling through a lot of emotions right now.
I'm kind of focusing on work at the moment.
Update, I've had the weirdest few weeks ever.
I didn't go back to Tom's place after the revelation and just blamed work in plumbing
issues and then left for my work trip.
The only time I did see him was in group things and just a few car rides and stuff.
Then before I left, I messaged Megan on Facebook and told her that Tom was engaged to me.
He just proposed a few days ago and the rest was up to Megan never responded and as far as
I could see, never even saw the message.
And Adam texted and called me asking when I was going to break up with Tom.
Now, I was really suspicious of Adam so I just told him that I was still thinking about
things and that I'd figure something out when I got back.
Adam then called me telling me that these guys, his friend group, were users and leeches
and Tom was no exception, he was just using me.
I told him that I wasn't going be collateral damage in whatever issue he had with his friends
and besides, he was the one letting them leach off him for so many years anyway.
I ignored him after that.
I still don't know what's going on inside his head.
Anyway, I had decided to let the date between Tom and Megan happen and come back from my
trip early without telling Tom to break up with him and this is where things got a bit
crazy.
You see, on the Friday that the date was scheduled to occur, I got a call from Megan who had arrived
to my city, caught up with some mutual acquaintances and found out that Tom was engaged.
She then got my phone number from them and called me to tell me that my fiance was cheating
on me.
I told her I already knew and told her to check her FB.
She said it was sweet of me to warn her, I told her she was really decent for letting
me know and she then told me I deserved better.
Apparently, her last relationship also ended due to cheating so she was really furious
at her ex, Tom, and men in general and we ended up talking for ages.
I even jokingly said that I could see why Tom was so into her because she was really
pretty in kind and then she told me Tom was an idiot for running something with me and
the only thing he had going was good taste in women.
I was really expecting the worst from her but she really surprised me with how decent she
was.
So then I told her not to cancel the date, I was coming back early anyway and let's
surprise him by walking in together.
She really loved that idea, I think mostly because she was mad at her ex, and here was
Tom being scummy so we agreed to meet me at the airport when I came in.
Then I'm not sure what happened but a few hours before I was due to board my flight.
I get a text from Tom telling me he missed me and asked if there was any way I could finish
my trip early because he wanted to talk to me.
I then got a call from Megan about 15 minutes later saying that Tom had canceled the date
and she sent me the screenshot of him explaining that he was really attracted to her but he was
engaged and he was doing the wrong thing and they shouldn't see each other and apologize
for making her come down.
Megan didn't come down for Tom, she was just going to catch up on her original trip so
she was pissed off that he'd even think that she came down for him.
The way it was phrased made it seem like he wouldn't be able to control himself if
he was around Megan or something.
I really didn't want to see Tom at this point so I told Megan she was out on a dinner thanks
to me so I'd take her out as a thank you.
Long story short because I don't vividly remember, I got home, went out to dinner with
Megan and we both got blindingly drunk, I texted Tom to say I was home, then I invited
her back to my place and, according to my housemate, watched some Netflix and Tom showed
up with flowers.
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Megan really drunk and my housemate answered the door and there was Tom with flowers.
Tom looked really shocked to see Megan and asked what she was going on.
Megan told Tom that she lived here now and that we, her and I, were talking about getting
married.
According to my housemate, we got home drunk and started talking about how much easier
it would be if we got married because men or scum were something and then my housemate
decided, hey it's Friday night and started drinking too.
Anyway, she yelled to me that scummy Tom was here, I yelled back, I was throwing up
at that point, that I didn't want to see him and they shut the door in his face, he
was knocking on the door and calling slash texting me, none of which I noticed because
I was pretty sick the rest of the night along with Megan and my housemate.
Also at some point before passing out, Megan and I were showing the messages to my housemate
and we start talking about getting married to each and we updated our statuses to show
that Megan and I were engaged.
I vaguely remember her doing it.
This caused a lot of confusion which I woke up to the next day and just ignored everyone
because of how hungover I was but eventually untagged Megan and told everyone it was a
Facebook hack.
Adam called me, sounding amused I was hungover or maybe still drunk, and asked what that
was about and I just told him that Megan thought I was hot and hung up on him.
Anyway, later I texted Tom and told him to not contact me for two days.
Megan left and hung out with her friends and had a good trip.
She's back home now, she's blocked Tom on everything but not before tagging in a pretty
mean update.
Tom was pretty miserable, we talked a few days later and I gave him back the ring.
He said that he realized his mistake, that he never would have cheated on me because
he couldn't go through with it, etc.
I pointed out that at the start of the relationship he told Adam that I was nothing, talking about
me like use property.
He denied this but I told him that Adam had shown me the texts.
He then told me that Adam had a falling out with the group over some money that was owed
to him and this was his way of getting revenge and I said, even if that is true he never
forced you to talk so degradingly about me or set up a date with an old flame.
He said that he'd grown up since then and he thought the world of me and he had canceled
the dates so wasn't that a point in his favor.
He also asked me to come home early because he wanted to tell me himself, in a moment of
pettiness, I told him, I wasn't going to settle for a guy like him, that what he did
was disgusting, especially since he knew I was a way and I couldn't trust him let alone
what to marry him.
He insisted that we could work through this.
I kind of didn't.
Honestly, I really can't tell if he's being sincere or just wants to save face or hold
on to something safe.
I asked for space and time to think about things because the way he was pushing was driving
me away.
It's been a few weeks now, he's been just texting and sending me gifts and stuff.
I have been replying pretty generically and saying I wasn't ready.
Megan, I actually talk in WhatsApp frequently, she's still on the dump him and run bandwagon
but admits he's persuasive and we have a way of really figuring out Tom's intentions
because of what he did.
Adam, I heard third slash fourth hand that he did have a massive blow up in the group
about money, doesn't speak to any of them and hates them all.
He texted me about three days ago asking if I wanted to catch up.
I am so confused and there's so much drama.
I've mostly been bearing myself and work in gym and stuff and not thinking about it.
I get that people can change and maybe Tom is honest, I just don't know.
I need some distance and objectivity but everything seems really confusing.
Now on to the next story.
Story 2
Caught my wife cheating with our baby's doctor, now his career is ruined and I have full custody.
My wife was recovering from having our first baby.
Per the doctor's orders, we were waiting eight weeks before having sex.
She was 24 and I was 26.
I felt like we were too young to be parents but at least we were married for four years
before conceiving.
This was the life I hoped for.
I did everything right, according to my family and it made me feel great.
One person I met in my past told me that life isn't as simple and easy as I expected
it to be but I was goal oriented and willing to follow any successful influencers advice.
I believed fate was on my side.
Even with what I'm about to tell you, I still believe fate is on my side because otherwise,
I may never have discovered the truth.
On one of the last days of waiting, I got a notification at work that there was motion
detected outside our house and the box was delivered.
I only worked ten minutes away and it was lunchtime so I decided to pop by unexpectedly.
Besides opening my package, I thought I might be able to seduce my wife for the first
time and forever.
I stopped for flowers.
When I got to the house, there was a really nice car parked outside.
I didn't recognize it.
My original plan was to knock on the door and have her open it but I decided to use my
key.
As soon as I walked in, I heard our bed squeaking upstairs.
I barged into our bedroom door without realizing I broke it.
I could not believe what met my eyes.
My wife was sprawled out on our bed with our baby's pediatrician.
She immediately sat up and grabbed her face, repeatedly saying no in disbelief.
The doctor panicked and ran.
I didn't care, I'd have him on camera fleeing our house with his loose pants, which meant
I'd probably be able to prove he was sleeping with my wife, which would certainly get his
license revoked.
I noticed the baby sleeping in the bassinet six feet away from his mother, as she cheated
on his father.
My wife immediately began saying how sorry she was.
She said he seduced her because he knew she waited long enough to heal.
I wanted to throw up, but I was too angry and didn't want to appear vulnerable.
I told her she was a sleazy, pathetic mother.
I asked her why she couldn't have just said no, why she couldn't have just waited for
me to get home.
I felt myself starting to break down because I was realizing my marriage was over.
I didn't want to forgive her.
I didn't want to have sex with her.
I told her these things, and she wailed so loud she woke up the baby.
My mind started working at a mile a second as I held and bounced our son.
I told her that since she was breastfeeding, she could take him with her to her mom's
house.
Her mother was a strict Catholic, and I wasn't even sure she would let her daughter and
grandson move in.
She was going to be furious at her daughter's behavior, and I'd make sure she knew the
truth at some point.
My wife was freaking out, telling me what I already knew, that she would have nowhere to
go if we told people the truth.
I forced her to move back in with her mother by telling her our house was being fumigated.
My mill wasn't too fond of me, so she wouldn't even wonder where I was.
After they moved out, a major twist happened.
I got an anonymous typed note in the mailbox that said, leave me out of it, or you won't
be around long enough for a second marriage.
I was shocked, but immediately knew it was from the doctor.
What a piece of crap.
I was very amused when I checked our doorbell camera and found him escaping with his pants
down.
I went to the police and filed restraining orders on him and my wife.
Then, I made some phone calls.
I had a big family, including one lawyer.
He agreed to represent me.
Before the court hearing, my mill was basically forcing my ex and son out of her house, so I
had to tell her what my wife did and how I got a restraining order because my life was threatened.
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She was beside herself.
She told me I needed to come get my son at least, so I did.
My wife absolutely hated this, and I think that's why her mom did it.
She was so upset with her, but couldn't kick her out.
She had trouble looking at her the same way.
As terrible as my mill was, she knew how necessary and important loyalty to a spouse was.
Then you add the fact that my wife was a new mother, cheating with her son's doctor.
Before I left with our son, I heard them screaming at each other, and when my mill told
her she wasn't mature enough to be a mother or wife, it was intense, but I'm sure my
wife deserved this hellish new reality, stuck in her strict mother's house without me
or her son.
After the divorce, I was awarded primary custody of our son, and I was able to prove the doctors
unprofessional, home-recking actions.
He was no longer allowed to practice, so he'll have to find something new to do with his
life.
I am so happy with the outcome from all this.
I hate that it all happened, but this wasn't my fault, so I can only adjust and accept
the change.
She still calls me often, asking for help or complaining about things.
She used to say sorry every time, but I told her to stop.
I don't always answer her calls, but she does get visitation with our son.
This event made me question a lot about life and relationships.
I've realized how important it is to love and trust yourself.
I knew I could get through this from the moment I was presented with the issue, I knew
I had no choice but to go through it, and all I had was my own strength and willingness
to go on.
I enjoy my life because it's all I have, and my son and I have a whole new routine.
My sister watches him while I'm at work, and she loves it.
I enjoy my own company and my sons, and when it comes to dating, I just take it slow and
make sure everything feels right about it.
That's all anyone can do.
I hope anyone reading this realizes how great it is to experience life at all.
I won't let this painful end to my marriage make me question how wonderful life is.
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