I Have Over $300k Cash Sitting In My House (I'm Scared Of The Stock Market)

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Normal is broke at comments since it's weird, so we're here to help you transform your

life from the Ramsey network in the Fairwinds credit union studio.

This is the Ramsey show alongside Jade Worshaw.

Hi, I'm Ken Coleman, excited to have you with us, the phone number to jump in for your

question today is triple eight 825-225, triple eight 825-225.

Let's start it off with Steve who joins us in Atlanta, Georgia, Steve, how can we help

today?

Hey Dave, thanks for taking my call.

Sure.

I'm trying to get some advice from you.

I've got kind of a long-term problem here with my mother and I think I should give

a little backstory here about 15 years ago or so her house was paid for and we had her

car paid off.

I knew she's always been a spender, I've been supplementing her income the last 10 years

and I knew she was spending on credit cards so first I gave her $3,000 to pay them off

then I gave her the next year, $5,000 and then it went to $7,000 and then in 2024 she

had racked up $21,000 in credit card debt and I had a heart to heart with her and I paid

them off, I gave her $21,000 and...

Let me guess it's right back.

Yeah, I told her I was done, I was not doing this anymore and it's just kind of continued

where is it today?

She's at $33,000.

So she went above and beyond, she outdid herself.

Yes, so last year I think I should, if I can't continue a little, I'm just trying to figure

out how I can help my mother, I want her to be okay but I don't want you know I paid

her mortgage off and I didn't pay her credit cards off.

I felt like at least I have some control and this is an asset that's appreciating.

What's your question, Steve?

I know you want to keep going on but we're pretty clear what's going on here on our

end.

So what's your question for us?

So my question is what to do?

You know I don't want to...

Do what you said.

I didn't pay any...

Don't pay him, Steve.

Steve, were you just playing poker with her and trying to bluff her when you told her

you weren't going to do it again?

Well, you know, I guess how do I...

No, no, no, Steve.

It hurt it.

Steve, that's a real question.

That's a real question.

Yes or no?

Were you bluffing or did you mean it that you were never going to pay off credit cards

again?

I meant it.

Okay, then now you have to prove that you meant it.

There's something that you're...

There's something in you that feels like you're bad or feels guilt for not solving

her problem.

And your guilt about not solving her problem is stronger than you're logic for actually

doing the right thing.

Well, you know, I understand that and so I stood, you know, I took my guns.

She begged me to pay him off again.

I didn't do it.

Like I said, I paid the mortgage off.

In fact, she actually got mad at me for doing that as crazy as that sounds.

It does sound crazy, but it sounds crazy for both of you guys.

Here's what I want you to not do.

If Ken and I give you a response going forward, I want you to not answer with the past.

I want you to answer with something also that will be going forward.

Is that fair enough?

Okay.

Because the milk is spilled, right?

Here we are.

There was years of enablement.

And now we're at a precipice of a new way of doing life for both you and your mother,

right?

Correct.

Hopefully.

And so Ken and I are going to help you get to that point and go forward from here and

leave the past in the past.

Yeah.

So, I guess my question to this is bankruptcy.

She signed up for a debt consolidation company and I don't want her to get taken advantage

of.

So, that's the gist of my thoughts.

I don't think you have to worry about her being taken advantage of.

I think she's the take advantage or I don't think you have to worry about that.

Well, Steve, listen, I have a lot of sympathy for you.

I really do.

But you called us and you're asking us questions and the question that you're not actually

asking is what is okay for me to do and what is not okay for me to do?

You're not asking it that way and you're just circling the drain emotionally with her.

And so you're asking like, what about bankruptcy and all these things?

Here's the deal.

Your mother would be considered by the state wherever she lives, right, as capable of managing

her own money.

Yes or no?

Yes.

Okay.

And even then, you're struggling.

You're still making excuses for your mom.

Your mom is a grown woman who has got all kinds of pain and there's a backstory that leads

to all of this behavior.

But none of it matters.

That's why I'm not going to list it out.

What matters is you and Jay nailed it.

You're in a really tough emotional spot and I think what you're supposed to do here is

acknowledge what kind of a tough emotional spot you're in.

I would share it one last time with mom, hey, I'm now out financially, but I will tell

you the residue is I'm emotionally worried for you and I feel like I'm not being a good

son.

But here's the problem, mom.

If I bail you out, you're not going to stop and it's going to hurt our relationship.

So I can no longer worry about you.

So I'm going to lay it out, mom, you can't keep doing this.

Here are your options right now.

You're going to have to manage your own money and you're going to have to wash your hands

of this or else it's going to drive you absolutely emotionally insane.

And then you're going to end up truly resenting your mother.

This is a sad part is that you can't do anything.

Are you the only child, Steve?

Is it just you?

I'm going to go, well, I grew up.

So technically I am and we could go down some deeper rabbit holes with two step brothers

and a step sister.

And they're not in the equation today, are they in the equation today or no?

They're not.

Okay.

And how old is your mom?

She's getting ready to turn 80.

Okay.

Yeah.

She has some physical problems.

I agree with Ken, she's she's 80, but she's she's still here.

She's her mind.

Sounds like her mind works plenty well, right?

It's not she's not slipped as she's slipping.

Without going down the rabbit hole, she's had some depression issues for certain depression.

Okay, but I'm talking about is she is she with it?

You know, no dimension, nothing like that.

Right.

You're giving you the power of attorney and and basically her custodian for a lack of

a better word.

I know that's not the right word.

So take it easy on me in the comments.

But aside from her, a green for you to manage her money, that's all you can do.

So maybe you talk mom into doing that with her being 80 with health problems, then you

can manage her money.

But aside from her giving you that, she'll she'll die with this debt is the sad part.

But that's not your problem.

And I'm really sad that you're in this situation.

I think your one move is to go, mom, will you let me be in charge of all your money?

Give me total control and I'll take care of you.

That's the only shot you got.

Dave, we got a lot of calls on this show where life happens.

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Yeah.

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But there's another piece that people often overlook, and that's long term disability

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Yeah, it's important to understand the difference between them.

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So it replaces a large part of your income, so the bills still get paid while you get

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All right, let's go to Stewie and Chicago.

I hope I said that right.

Stewie, how can we help?

So I've got probably the opposite problem of the last caller.

I am kind of a fever, and maybe over the last 10 years, I've been collecting cash, collecting

cash.

I always throw in a drawer, and I never really use it.

And now I realize, just the other day, I realize I've got about $300,000 in my house.

Oh, wow.

Wow.

And I'm unsure of what to do with it, and how do I take it to the bank, is it okay?

Is that your only money, Stewie?

Is the $300,000 or have you ever used a bank?

No, I have a bank.

I have a bank.

It started.

I don't know.

It started as kind of a game.

10 years ago, I'm safe.

I would save $100 bills, and I'd just save.

I don't know.

Yeah, but that's a lot.

Some money in a bank, but I just, I got more than I, it's too much at the house, it's

really.

Yeah, it's too much.

What do you, what do you have?

Do you have a traditional savings account?

I have, I have got a checking account, and I've got a high yield savings account for

some other money that I've got.

Okay.

Do you have any investment accounts, anything that's like a 401k or an IRA, anything like

that?

I never have.

Okay.

How old are you, Stewie?

I 50.

I turn 50.

Okay.

Do you have no 401k, no retirement account of any kind?

Never have.

Who do you work for?

Oh, you don't need to tell us that.

I want to keep you as private as possible, but what kind of work do you do?

I'm self-employed.

I work in agriculture, and our business does, our business takes in a lot of cash, and

I just, at one point, I decided, you know, I like cash, and I'm going to keep it around

and I got a lot of hand, it's fun.

Well, listen, so Jade is pulling up her handy, dandy investment calculator.

This is off of Ramsey Solutions website, Ramsey Solutions dot com.

You need to pay close attention, Stewie, with the numbers, and then she'll tell you

what to do.

So Stewie, with you just saving these $100 bills, what would you say in a month?

How much do you think you put away into savings under your mattress or wherever it is in your

house?

I have no, it's slowed down quite a bit.

My family's a lot larger now.

The kids are bigger.

We're spending more.

Sure.

But I mean, is it 500 bucks?

Is it, you know, give me a ballpark?

Yeah, 500 to 1000, probably 500.

OK, I'll say 500.

So here's what I, here's what I want to show you.

First off, if you take that money and you invest it, which you should be doing, because

the truth is the time is going to come when you don't work, right?

You're 50.

I'm sure there's going to be a time where you don't want to have to go into work, correct?

Correct.

And you need to have a nest egg of money to draw off of.

And there's a limited amount of time for you to build that nest egg fair enough.

True.

Therefore, we need to harness the power of compounding interest.

And when it's at home, there's zero compounding interest.

As a matter of fact, it's almost negative.

It's depleting the value of your money because inflation, right?

There's no hedge against inflation and you understand that.

So if we can, you know, next step is, yeah, you pop it in a high yield savings and maybe

get 3.5 percent or maybe 4 percent, that's okay.

But if you were to invest it and really just kind of your basic index fund, you know,

good growth stock mutual fund, growth and income, you could really have an average annualized

rate of return of around 10 percent, like you could pretty much bet on that, okay?

So if we did that, if we just popped that 300,000 into an index fund, I mean, you don't

even have to get sophisticated here.

That money, and you just said, hey, instead of putting the $500 that I sock away under

the mattress, I'm going to just add that to that pile every month.

Do you know that just in 17 years, by the time you're 67, it would be almost $2 million.

It'd be 1.89 million.

I mean, it seems hard to believe, but I believe, yeah.

Yeah.

And it is.

The bigger part is you need that money, because you said your families continue to grow.

There will come a day, whether you want it or not, that you can't work.

So if I were in your shoes, dude, and I know Ken would do the same, we would be skipping

down to the bank.

You know, we would be skipping over to invest that money right away, because you said,

how much do you have in the high yield savings?

Probably 400.

Oh, man, oh man.

You know, rich man's doing.

Hold on.

I just want to make sure 400,000.

I do.

Okay.

So that's amazing.

But listen, you've got to get with a Smart Vester Pro.

Got you.

Okay.

So we're going to have Christian direct you to the spot on our website.

You need to interview a minimum of three Smart Vester Pros.

They're independent of us.

They're licensed the whole nine yards, but they'll advise you the way we've advised you.

When you are sitting on $700,000 in cash, so what our advice would be is that you have

three to six months of your expenses in that savings account, high yield, okay?

So let's just say for sake of discussion, that's 50,000.

I'd even let them keep 100.

Clearly, Stewie is the type that likes.

Okay.

So let's say he keeps 100 in there.

So now we've got $600,000 that you need to get invested soon.

In really good, the mutual funds that she's talking about, and let that money go to work

for you.

And no longer are we putting money in the drawer, the way you pay yourself, the Smart Vester

Pro that you select and go with, and they're going to explain everything to where you understand

it.

And your eyes are going to bug out of your head.

Yeah.

And now you start doing what Jay told you to do.

And again, you're going to be a very, very wealthy person.

But you need to get on it because you've lost who knows how many millions of dollars

by not having done this earlier.

And at 50, it's time for you to step up and do this.

There's nothing to be scared of.

And they'll explain it well.

But that's your next step.

What's your aversion to it, Stewie?

What's caused you to kind of shy away from that?

I don't know if I have an answer.

It started out as a game.

I thought, I like saving money, so I started it.

And then...

You won the game.

I felt maybe at some time I'm fearful of this, I am fearful of the stock market.

Okay.

That's what I was getting to tell us about that.

Why are you fearful of the stock market?

Because that originated somewhere.

And if we can just put our finger on that, we can change that and shift that in your mind

for you.

I'm not sure, I mean, I know that my grandpa told me stories of hardship during the

depression.

I don't know if that's an option.

Okay.

Yes.

Those stories.

That's the stock market.

Stewie, spend some time thinking about that tonight because those stories, all of those

things, Grandpa told me this, I saw an image of this, I heard this report on TV, I read

this in the news, all of that stuff starts to build up and it starts to inform our view

on a particular subject.

And the thing is that's okay, that's normal, but we do have to come to a point where we

challenge it and we say, okay, this is a story I'm telling myself, is it actually true?

Is it true or is this just what I've been around and therefore the people that I was

around believed this and therefore it became my belief, but if I actually hold it up next

to facts, I find out that that's actually not the truth.

And so I love that you called in today because Ken and I are giving, we are giving you

the facts.

The truth is the annualized rate of return of the stock market since inception has been

hovered around anywhere between nine to 12 percent, right, depending on a given year.

So it's always going to, it's always ended up up and yes, there's been downturns, but

usually it recovers very quickly within the next year or two after it's fully recovered

and then some.

And so the point of the stock market is it's a long term, it's a long term ride, right?

It's not something you hop in and hop out of, but in your case, do you, oh my goodness,

you pop in 600,000 and maybe you leave the other 100,000 liquid and I mean you're going

to be a very rich man when it comes time to retire.

So well done.

And I would be very careful about how I transport it to 300,000.

It catches the penny.

What do you do?

You put it in a duffel bag?

Even that looks pretty obvious.

If some do rolls into your local bank in a duffel bag, you're like, there's cash in

that bag.

Yeah, be careful.

Do we?

They're going to know how many trips you got in there.

Maybe you weren't some old school parachute pants.

Oh, man.

Oh, God.

I think about some security on that.

It's a lot of dough.

Can you walk, can you just walk in with that kind of money and I don't know.

Here's what I would do.

I would go talk to my local bank and the branch and say, here's what I've done.

Help me do this the most secure way they've done this before.

So yeah, otherwise you're going to need some very, very muscle bound people to walk with

you.

I was put myself in his shoes.

If I tried to take it, I would break my car would break down, something crazy random

would happen.

Oh, man.

You know what I mean?

And you'd be on the side of the road just with the stack of cash.

I think I'd go hire a local brinks guy and just be like, lock me in the back of this

thing with it.

Yeah.

No, I'm kidding.

That's not what you should do.

Go talk to your local break branch manager, get a plan and go talk to a smart vester pro.

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All right, we wish we could get to every call and question here on the show.

There's just so many calls so little time.

So if you have a money question and want an answer for your situation, you can now head

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The same way we'd answer it right here on the show.

So ask your question today at RamseySolutions.com and click on Ask Ramsey or if you're watching

on YouTube or listening to the podcast, you can click on the link in the show notes.

You think if you ask it a question, it'll say in your kin voice, I got to tell you.

It ain't going to do that.

I'll tell you what it will do.

It's going to give you fundamentals, but it ain't going to give you my special sauce.

The sauce.

All right.

The juice.

The juice the way I would answer it.

That could be as pragmatic as me.

I'll tell you that right now.

Okay.

But you're going to get you.

You're pure fundamental.

Yeah.

You will get you will get a Ramsey plan answer.

There you go.

Damien is up in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Damien, how can we help today?

I did have a question for you.

So I got this pilot debt that I've accumulated over the past couple of years.

It started with just some small consumer debt and an auto loan started working on that

and then this past year, I had a four wheeled accident, but put me in a pretty big bind

with a bunch of medical debt.

I'd unfortunately dropped my, my parent, I dropped off my parent's insurance and I forgot

to sign myself up for my own when I rolled into my new job, so I got a pretty hefty

pile there.

Oh man.

So yeah, I'm kind of leaning between, is it a going to chapter seven and just white

the whole slate queen or I've gotten it to the point where my income and expenses are

all leveled out and I'm actually able to start paying down debt.

How much is the medical debt?

210,000.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

Do you now have insurance currently?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I've always had it.

I just forgot that for the one year and I thought I'd be fine.

Oh man.

You got, got it.

You know, that's the odds of that are so crazy.

Okay.

So the 210, is that the only debt?

No, I have 19,000 in credit card debt that has went to collections, 18,000 on a auto loan

that I had let go to repossession, 4,000 on student loans and then the 210.

Okay.

Was the credit cards in the repo a result of this injury?

Is that kind of...

Tell me more about that.

They would have been...

Yeah, they would have been prior, so years I've been following you guys for like 10 years

now.

I had worked my way down on credit card and then we'd moved to Lincoln and I built it back

up during that old moving process and just never paid more than the minimum so that that

was there.

And then with all those adding up, the auto payment was just killing me so I should stop

paying on it.

Oh boy.

Okay.

But you said you're studying out like what's your income today?

What do you make?

What do you bring home every month?

So before tax, I'm 82,000 a year and then plus a bonus, but my take home monthly is

about 4,700.

Okay.

And the bonuses do they hit like at the end of the year?

Yep.

In October and just last year we got a very minimal one.

Like what?

Like you would this year end up being?

What?

Okay.

So, I would not do bankruptcy.

I know that that probably feels tempting, but I think what's going to end up happening is

you don't have a whole lot of money to give these creditors obviously.

You have a little bit but you don't have much and so I would start working with them on

some sort of settlement pretty soon.

How long have these been due?

Have any of them rolled into collections?

So all of the cards are the medical, I think one of them has, it was like a $20,000 one,

the rest is still with the bill or that's the time.

Yeah.

Okay.

So for the one that's rolled into collections, you're now positioned to make some sort

of a deal and I would just do them one by one and roll them off.

You know, whatever the smallest credit card is, I'd go over there and say this has been

in collections for X amount of years and I'd stack up a little bit of cash.

So for instance, what's the smallest credit?

A credit card that you have in collections?

I think there's like three of them that are about $500.

Okay.

You pay off?

Yeah, but you're not paying $500.

I'd go to them and I'd say I can give you 100 bucks and they're going to take it and

you're just going to scratch them out just like that.

The thing is get it all in writing and I would just let them know I'd be like this is

just the tip of the iceberg of the debt that I have.

So if you think that you're getting any more money than this, you're not.

And just be on them the same way you're there on you.

Just call them and call them and call them and say, here's my offer, here's my offer.

And they might come back and say, what about 250 fine?

At this point, it's low enough, yes, go ahead and take whatever deal they offer.

But for the bigger ones, when you start getting into that medical debt, yeah, you're going

to really whittle it down and the key is try to save up, I don't know, 50% of what

it is or try to save up, I don't know, 40% of what it is cash.

So you can be prepared to offer that money in cash on the, so with the auto one that

I rolled over in the collections, they are wanting to do a settlement for really cheap,

I like I said, 18,000 is what I owe and they were wanting to do 900, the only thing that

was concerning me is that they list on there that they will file a 10, 99 on that.

And I was kind of confused.

Well, well, that's the least of your worries.

1800 dollar settlement on an 18,000 dollar debt on a card, you're taking that and you

deal with it.

So the 10, 99 Jade, that's just their way of, that's how they're writing it off.

And then they, because they're eating this big time, that's about them.

That's, you have no choice in the matter of that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's a small amount of money.

So back to Jade's point, like same thing on, if somebody told you you were going to get

some 10, 99 income, and then you were going to go to a thousand dollars with landscaping,

you would hold back, right, 30% just to be safe.

So you're just thinking about that, talk to your tax pro, because you're starting to knock

stuff off.

So don't be concerned about that.

Yeah.

So what you need to be looking at is if you're trying to settle this, it's really common

that you could settle a debt for anywhere between 30 to 50% of the balance if it's already

in collections.

So that's kind of the range that you want to aim in.

And if you know it's a couple of years old, yeah, push for that, that 30% of the balance.

Okay, that's kind of where you want to be.

You want to make sure that you have that lump sum, and you want to make sure that you

have all documented.

I mean, this is, when you get that letter, this is the one that you laminate, and you put

it, you put it in ice, you know, put it in ice and keep it forever.

Okay.

That's true.

I love that.

Yeah.

So Damien, yeah, I mean, you are actually working through this the right way.

You don't need to file bankrupt, so you just settle these things one at a time.

Now, the big question is, are you learning your lesson?

Oh, it is, it is learned many times over.

Yeah.

Well, and here's the deal.

We asked that by the way, not to put any kind of shame on you, but really said that there's

some conviction that's developed out of this.

You know what I mean?

Because none of us are sitting here without anything dumb.

You've heard Dave say it for decades.

I got a PhD in DUMB.

So, but this is the key, right?

Get through this, but never again.

Yeah, no, this is not a journey I ever want to take again, that is for sure.

And you're going to have to deal with some, I mean, the truth is, you can't afford to

pay all of these.

So, when 800 pay me is going to be blown up your line, and that, that right there is more

detrimental.

Yeah.

Speak to that, because you've actually walked through that, how does not just Damien,

but other people that are experiencing, give them that mindset what their options actually

are?

Number one, it feels detrimental, because they're calling you all the time, and it makes

you feel bad about yourself, right?

And that's the trap I don't want you to fall into, because you do have a plan, and you're

sticking to your plan, and that's really what you have to tell them.

And if you even choose to pick up, you know, you pick up and you say, hey, this is my plan,

your next, or I'm getting to your next, and when I get to you, you better be ready to make

a deal.

Uh-huh.

So, that's kind of the way that goes.

I'm more telling you it as a friendly warning.

If you get to the point that you're able to make some minimum payments there, you could,

but it's not really going to help you when it comes to settling it.

Yeah.

We're really good advice.

So, hey, there is a way.

Seems like you've got the will now, and we're cheering you on, and better days are ahead

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All right, let's go to Tyler, who joins us now in Wilmington, Delaware.

Tyler, how can we help today?

So, I'm in this relationship where I feel like I get leaned on financially pretty well,

and I'm very young, and I do pretty well.

As of right now, I have a lot of money saved up, and I just am wondering the perspective

that you guys may have on, is that like a healthy relationship, or should I be using

this time at my age to generate more wealth than what I'm doing?

What is the relationship?

Is this a marriage?

Is this dating?

What are we talking about?

Dating.

Okay.

How long you been dating?

A year and a half.

How much money do you make?

135.

And you said you've been putting stuff away.

Do you have any debt?

No debt.

And what kind of retirement situation are you starting to build?

I max out my 401k, and then I have about in my private savings account just around $100,000

making me about 18% a year.

Okay.

So, tell me about the other person in this relationship.

What do they do?

They make.

They are in mental health and they make around $50,000 a year with somewhere near $70,000,

$80,000 in debt currently.

Okay.

Now let's get to the crux of the call.

Yes.

What do you mean by leaned on?

Like let's get real here.

We need an example of that really bothers you.

They're hurt you or angered you or maybe one of each.

I'm gathering all this for Jade and I to be able to weigh in here.

So give us some examples or one good example.

I would say like vacations and then like weekend, fun, dates, everything along those lines.

So you pay for the vacation?

Yes.

The whole thing.

Yep.

And is it manipulative in how she puts that out there?

Like how is that decided?

No, it's more of just like she knows that I know and that it's like really not even

up her discussion.

So who?

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

How does she know that?

Yeah.

Well, just that like she knows that I know she's not in a great financial situation.

All right.

And like, you know, in this young at day and age, I feel like, you know, the emails want

to do all the fun stuff and just because of the situation they may not be able to do.

He just went.

He just went females.

So when you say females, then already let's me know something has gone down.

I agree.

That's caused you to be, you're feeling some type of hurt yet, Jade, anything where she's

leaning on you?

Well, that's what I'm going to get to.

Tell me how the conversation goes down.

Is it you saying, oh, it's, you know, it's July, we should probably go on vacation.

What do you have in mind?

Or is it her bringing up, hey, it's July, we should probably go on vacation.

What do you have in mind?

Tell me how the conversations go and, and, and I need that because it's very different

if you saying, hey, you know, let's go, let's go down to Fort Lauderdale and she's

like, okay.

And, and you're like, hey, I made the reservation for the Hilton and she's like, okay.

And then you just go versus her saying, where do you want to go, honey?

And you're like, well, I don't know.

And she says, well, I found this really cute place.

I think we should go here.

And then you're like, whoa, okay, right?

All of that matter.

So I want to know how it goes.

I would say it's more of like, oh, we should do something.

And then like, I'm a very minimalist person.

And then perspective on there and get a little starts that, you know,

the standard starts to increase and then it just kind of gets in there.

Okay, listen, I can see she's a gold digger.

But she, I get the lean now.

I think, do you feel that?

I want to make sure I get the female perspective.

I feel, okay, I get the lean.

So, where are you relationally with the scale?

Like, is this?

I don't live with them.

No.

I don't even, I wasn't even getting into that.

But that is good.

What's your, on a scale of one to 10, 10 being, she's absolutely one.

I'm going to marry her no matter what.

Or one being, could care less if I'm in this relationship one more day.

There's your streams.

Where are you at with her?

Yeah, I feel like I'm like right in the middle.

That's just like a little stock situation.

Okay.

I do care about that.

I mean, you know what I mean?

You care about her, but this is troubling you.

Yes.

So, what we need to decipher here is the line, and can you're just the man to do this?

We need to decipher the line between the classic, chivalrous male behavior, and I know I'm,

I'm choosing, I would agree, I would agree.

And then what is too much and kind of like the lean as what, what we called it.

So, I'm going to start by saying, yes, if you take me on a date, especially, like, you're

not living together, like, there's no, like, intent that we are in any way beyond dating.

I'm expecting the male to pay every single time.

Totally agree.

And I would say, yes, you should be paying for dates.

You guys have been dating how many years?

Yeah, one and a half.

One and a half.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, you're paying for dates.

However, when she comes up with an idea that is an expensive idea.

And by the way, you get to determine what you feel is expensive.

This is a two way street.

Yes, that's right.

That's right.

And you're the money.

So, when she brings that up, you should feel free to say that feels like it's too much.

And you can explain why.

I agree.

And I think it's incumbent on you to explain why.

Then if she follows up and goes, well, why, why, why, then you start to go, you know what?

Some of this is on me because in the past you've suggested stuff that I would not normally

pay for, given my views on money.

And I've got a formula in place.

I don't want to spend this one.

You can lay it all out so she knows where you're coming from.

She shouldn't be guessing.

On a vacation.

Yes.

On a vacation.

What's the chivalrous behavior?

I'm thinking half and half.

It's half and half.

But I'm saying, he has to take that stand and think about it ahead of time and then say

no.

He has to feel comfortable going.

Yeah.

I'm not comfortable going on a $6,000 vacation.

I agree with that.

And she goes, why?

You explain it and let's say you go, and I'm making this up, you go, I'm comfortable

with a $2,000 vacation.

Okay.

Great.

So then you explain to her, but I think you should be paying for half of it.

Well, I can't right now.

And we can't go.

We aren't going.

Or we pick something more in your budget.

Yeah.

And then go and let this bleed into, and I'm probably the wrong word, let this lead into

a bigger conversation about money so that you, my friend, can go from being a five to

a eight, nine, or a 10 on whether or not we stay in this relationship.

You're looking for certainty right now because, Jay, I'm going to bring it back to you.

You're in the weeds on this and the data.

You coach people because he's dating right now and he's on a five.

Yes.

If this doesn't go to some certainty on whether or not they're a good fit from a value

standpoint on money, this causes how many issues down the line.

It's going to cost so many.

I mean, it's the number one number two, depending on what piece of research you're looking

at, cause of divorce, money fights and money problems.

So if this is somebody that you're starting to go down that path of she might be the

one, this is to, to Ken's point, this is just the type of scenario where you can start

these conversations to really see what are each of your philosophies on money.

And now is not the time to try to change somebody.

Now is the time to try to go, who are you for real?

Great point.

You know, I want to see who you are for real.

And vice versa.

Yeah.

Now if she says, okay, I, she needs to feel the weight of this and that we hope, Tyler,

that this goes one of two ways.

My hope is is that she reveals herself, Jade's absolutely right.

And so once she reveals herself and what we mean by that is how she views money.

At which point we now get to have a very serious conversation about how you view money.

And is there a bridge to where we meet in the middle and middle being, I'll help you

and guide you and teach the principles that I've been living by if you're willing to

do it.

That's meet in the middle here.

And then you're going to find out really quick whether or not she values you enough

to change her values about money.

Yes.

But the key strategy to what Ken is saying, and this is key, and this is for anybody listening,

when you bring up the money conversation, the first question, you don't say your

philosophy first.

Good.

You let them say first because if they really like you and you say, oh, dead, yeah, I don't

do that.

They're going to go, oh, yeah, me too.

No, good point.

Yeah, me too.

Good point.

If they really like you and they think that you, right, people tend to kind of shape shift,

especially in those early stages.

So you first say, what's your philosophy on debt and just shut up.

Let them talk.

Don't influence anything they're saying.

You need to see this.

You need to hear it.

Then you go, okay, well, would you like to know mine?

It's a great point.

So Tyler, this feels like this is a massive, massive moment in this relatively young relationship.

So step into it and let's see how this plays out, but you got a great head on your shoulders.

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All right, let's go to Jeff and Salt Lake City, Jeff.

How can we help today?

Thanks for having me.

So I lost my job out of the financial advisor, lost my job back in June of 2005.

I was without being full employment for gosh, almost five months, took me, took me five

months to get hired on with another firm.

So now I am going, I still have not received a paycheck from my new job and the whole situation

has just been really a disaster for my family, from my home life, from my finances.

How long have you been at the new job?

I hired on in November.

What is the reason for you starting last November and you still haven't received a paycheck?

Trying to transition my old business over when I was let go from my previous firm, probably

half of my existing book of business was ready to move with me and with everything taking

so long, this is this client that unfortunately moved on.

What kind of business are you in on the financial advisor?

So you left one firm and you've signed over with another firm, but it's basically

straight commission.

You're just there, there are a place for you to hang your hat essentially.

You couldn't continue to serve those others independently until you landed at a, another

umbrella business.

I could not.

So I was, I was terminated from that from my original job.

I had been with the firm for probably eight years.

And when I was terminated, I mean, I had new, I mean, I could fit there and I could continue

to contact them and talk with them, but ultimately they wanted somebody who could, you know,

like do the work.

Yeah.

All right.

So let's, all right.

So for sake of time, let's get into what kind of disaster has happened so that we know

what we're, and frame the question for us.

So we need to know where you're at financially.

But what can we help with specifically as you lay this out for us?

Yeah.

So, so we have, we have blown through just about all of our savings.

How much is left in savings?

10,000.

Okay.

So how much debt do you have?

I think we're only about 15,000 in debt.

Okay.

And when do you expect to make it?

Yeah.

Like, have you, what's going on there?

Are you finding new folks?

Are you able to get the others fired back up again?

What's the reality here?

It's been very slow.

Right now I'm pulling in about two coins a month.

What were you doing before?

What was your normal month for you before?

Cool.

I mean, before I made a book of business of about a hundred million dollars, I mean,

I was, I was, yeah, but she's asking you how much should you make?

I was for twenty twenty five.

I would have had, I've been, had I remained employed?

I would have made, I would have made probably three hundred thousand that year.

Okay.

Oh gosh.

Okay.

So you didn't really answer her question.

When do you expect to actually get paid?

I should get paid this month.

How much?

I don't think it's up.

It could be five thousand.

Oh boy.

Okay.

I'm way off of where I was.

Yeah.

We only have fifteen thousand in debt.

Correct.

Yeah.

Okay.

Then what is your, what is your monthly budget that you just bear minimum to take care

of all the, the important things?

How much do you have to be bringing in?

What is that number?

Yes.

Um, I mean, take care of everything.

I mean, we've got three kids.

We've got school tuition and all that stuff and we're probably at, at, at ten thousand

a month.

Okay.

We need to be done.

Okay.

You need ten thousand a month.

Can I ask a question?

Um, what precludes you from being on your own as a financial advisor?

What's the thing that stops you from just saying, Hey, I, Jeff, I'm my own man.

I'm my own business and I, I can just run my business versus being under an umbrella

because you don't really, with two clients, you don't really have the luxury of somebody

taking a major piece of every chunk of money that you get.

You see what I'm saying?

So I am, I am considered independent at this point.

I'm a 29, I'm advisor, whereas at my previous firm out of W2, okay, that firm was taken

roughly 60% of, you know, the cut and the, what's this firm taking?

Um, they don't, they only take about 15% right.

And, but Mike, my, and my question remains, what's the benefit there for you?

Because they're clearly not giving you leads.

Correct.

There's no, there are no leads there, there's, there's really no support.

No, it's on you.

I've got a good friend who just got into this business two years ago, a couple of things

here to fast forward this, you're not in a massive debt situation.

That's the good news.

Your problem is your income and, and you presented at the start of this call, like

there's some family stuff going on, but this is, this is a point where you've got to

make some money like, yeah, right now, and you know how to build a book, book of business.

Yes or no?

Yeah.

All right, then, then like, bro, we're in desperate, I don't have some magic pill of advice

here.

Three tips on how to win as a financial planner.

You actually know how to do it.

You've got to do it.

Now, in the meantime, I don't know what's going on, and we don't have time.

And, quite frankly, I don't think it matters as to why you got fired.

What it's done to your home life, because you mentioned it.

But if your wife can work and is not working, we're in a season where she needs to, because

we have a $5,000 deficit that is hitting us really quickly.

And we only have $10,000 savings left.

So we're in, go get it mode, am I right, Jade?

What am I missing?

Well, I just want to remind you that you're the same guy who had, who did $300,000 of

income last year.

You're that same guy.

I don't think you remember that, like talking to you.

It feels like you've forgotten that you're that guy.

And that's why I'm encouraging you.

I don't think you need, you know, whatever this umbrella company is.

I think you can just go out there.

I think you can, in the words of Dave Ramsey, kill something, drag it home and eat it.

And I think that you're getting to hung up on these other details.

To Ken's point, you know how to build a book of business.

You've done it before.

Nothing is stopping you from doing it again.

I think the last five months really dinged your self-esteem.

But I mean, Ken, he's the same guy.

Yeah.

Jeff, I'll just ask a point blank question.

This is a yes or no answer.

Are you dealing with a lot of shame?

Yeah.

Are you seeing it there?

I mean, just on and off.

Okay.

There's a book that I'm going to recommend to you and it's a heavy, heavy read.

But it's worth reading.

I've read it.

Em reading it.

It's called Healing the Shame That Binds You by John Bradshaw.

It's considered the foremost book written on shame.

I think it's really important that you grasp the concepts in that book as well as therapy.

But you got to throw your shoulders back right now.

We don't have time to be ashamed.

But it's a real feeling.

It's underneath there.

But I really recommend that you read that book that you lean in.

But this is Circle the Wagon's time with your wife.

Let's go.

We can figure this out.

We absolutely can.

And now we must.

And what I'm hearing as a guy who rightfully so is a shame of himself.

We've all been there, but man, you have so much more to give.

You're going to learn a lot through this season.

So let's go, man.

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All right.

Next, we got a core deline Idaho, Alexandra is there, Alexandra.

How can we help today?

Hi, my husband and I love you guys, you guys helped us so much get out of student debt when

we were first married.

I'm calling because I have a question with my husband and I, we're not in total an agreement

on how to spend money now that we're out of debt.

Okay.

We are on baby step four.

Okay.

And we're in the process of buying a home, and we're trying to do it the ramby way.

But now that we're in a better spot, just learning how to spend money now, what it looks

like.

Specifically, my best sister and my best friend are both getting married out of the country

this year.

And I was hoping to attend their wedding, and though doing so will be expensive.

And my husband feels like traveling like this is really like financially irresponsible.

Oh.

But he said, if I called you guys and got your permission, that we could go, so I just like,

this is okay.

This is our favorite.

You couldn't have, in my opinion, couldn't have got two better co-hosts today because we

have disagreed on these things from time to time, and I'll just tell you, I'm usually

more lenient.

I don't know if we'll disagree this time.

Jay, we don't know.

It's starting off pretty good.

Yeah.

I heard baby step four, so it's already looking good for you.

Couple quick clarifying questions.

You said two weddings.

Yes.

Yeah.

Steps sister and best friend.

Yes.

Okay.

And where are both weddings?

One is in Italy and one is in Sri Lanka.

Oh, oh, oh.

Neither one of those are discount airlines.

So that's going to be expensive.

Have you run the numbers on what these trips are going to cost both together?

I think together would be about $10,000.

What's the time frame?

Are they both over the summer or are they spread out at all?

One is in May and one is in August.

Oh, Lordy.

Which one's in May?

But Italy was.

Is that the best friend?

No, that's the step sister.

Yes.

Is hubs included in this number?

Is he going with you on both?

He's going with me to one, not for the other though, because we have a toddler

and we think it'd be too much for the toddler.

Yeah.

So by the way, it's so just clarifying.

It's $10,000 for you to go to both and him to go to one.

Great.

Which one is he going to?

The one with my step sister in Italy.

OK.

So the first one.

Good choice.

I like his choice.

So do you have the money?

Do you have the money set aside?

Not yet, but right now, we do every dollar.

And we have about $2,000 after retirement and all of our necessary expenses.

So I think you could be safe for the next couple of months.

We could easily save up for it, but we haven't been so yet.

OK.

So I love solving these with what I'm going to call the financially responsible adult

checklist, which is going to give you some freedom here.

I'm glad you're doing this.

I've already.

I'm ready.

I'm already ready to decide.

I'm already ready.

I've already decided.

I mean, I think I have two, but I'm giving her the framework on how we arrived.

This is good.

So there's five things in the financially responsible adult checklist.

Number one, are you a person who's on a budget?

Yes, you mentioned every dollar beautifully several times.

Check.

Number two, are you a person who was out of debt and plans to stay out of debt?

Check.

Number three, are you a person who carries the proper insurances?

Now, this means have you started your term life insurance?

You've got a little one there.

One of you depends on each other's income.

If you haven't done that, you need to do that before you make the decision.

Hey, let's get an answer.

Where are we out on that one?

We both have life insurance.

Check.

I had to lasso.

OK.

Next one is, are you a person who is saving for the future?

Now, this means three things.

You've got your baby step one.

You already did that.

You've got baby step three in place.

Yes.

Oh, yes.

That's retirement, right?

Yes.

No, no, no.

No, baby step three is three to six months of experience.

Yes.

She said they were on baby step four, is that right?

OK.

And you're actively doing the 15% to retirement.

Right.

And are you actively putting something towards the down payment on a house?

You mentioned that.

Yes.

You're an escrow right now, actually.

Yes.

That's four out of four.

And then there's a fifth one.

The fifth one on the financial irresponsible list

is, are you prioritizing generosity?

Yeah, we tied.

Listen, that's all you need.

That's all you need.

Well, everything else is you just have to do that.

The tough one to get through is going to always be Jade.

She's just tougher than me.

She just is no surprise.

Right.

I lift with weights, Kim.

Yes, you do.

And showing off the guns again.

So the fact that you guys can actually cashflow this,

this is a no-brainer.

Tell hubs that you have two yeses.

Yes.

And this is an American item.

So you only need two.

In the words of clobber, in the words of clobberlang.

Oh, ding, ding.

Ding, ding.

I love the Rocky reference.

Fantastic.

Alex Jander, it sounds like it's going to be a blast.

Have fun.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

And good for you, by the way.

Love that you guys.

And by the way, let's just be very clear to our greater audience here.

She doesn't need our permission.

We have a little bit of fun with this.

But I love that you listened to Jade Walk

through those five boxes.

That's fantastic.

And in this case, I love too that they were like,

I'll go to the one in Sri Lanka.

And I'll stay back.

That's great.

You don't always have to both be there.

Yeah, you don't have to do that.

It's the thought that counts.

Plus, let's be honest.

Does any man ever want to go to a wedding, Kim?

No, I've been very clear on this.

No dude ever wants to go.

Even a destination wedding.

The destination doesn't sing it up for you.

No, in fact, if Sacy said to me tonight,

hey, we've been invited to a wedding in Barbados.

You love Barbados.

I love and been the Barbados.

But I would be in, but slightly irritated.

And if she said to me, well, you don't have to go to the ceremony,

then I would be like, oh, I'm totally in.

Right, now you're just her sidekick.

Yeah, I'm just travel buddy.

Yeah, travel buddy.

We're there in Barbados.

I don't have to go to the ceremony.

But if you say, yeah, got to go to the ceremony,

I'm telling you, I have a bad attitude about going to Barbados.

And this is my point exactly, which I shouldn't have.

Yeah, whatever.

Now, what if it was all you have to do is go to the reception?

Does that change it?

No, no ceremony, only reception.

No one's ever asking this before, yeah.

That does change it.

Yeah, because I think I don't have to sit through the ceremony

and all the formalities.

Straight to the drinks.

Straight to the wedding cake.

Well, my follow question is, is there rum at the reception?

There better be.

It's in Barbados.

Then I'm in.

There you go.

Columbia, South Carolina is where we go next.

Kevin is waiting.

Kevin, how can we help?

Yes.

I've got an area here and we're trying to figure out

we bought a home one year ago.

We put 10% down at 7%.

We then sold our other home.

And we have now, we have one year they said, you can recast.

We have 200,000 cash right now in the bank that we're looking at,

putting it and recasting or refining the current.

You bring down the mortgage, you get rid of PMI, all that good stuff.

But in our new home, we're also looking at possible holding maybe 50,000 cash

aside because there's certain things we'd like to do home improvements

like a retaining wall, offense, additional parking spots, things like that.

And if we want to make a good wise financial decision on return on investments

and you know, and putting our money in the best place possible,

we want to know what your advice would be and what we should consider.

Okay.

Let me just make sure I understood it back.

You talked really fast.

I think I got all of it.

There were two houses.

One sold.

Now there's only one.

The most expensive one.

You want to put 200,000 possibly to recast it to the payments lower.

Did I catch it?

We have we there was two.

Yes, there was two.

We sold one.

And that exactly now we want to recast.

So you're thinking out of that 200 K.

You put your thinking maybe hold back 50 for the for the improvements.

We're kind of thinking hold back 50 because we have some home improvement ideas.

But we want to make sure we don't over build the neighborhood.

I want to know.

Do I you know, do I get this money back?

Or is it better to put it into recasting?

The current health.

So tell me.

Well, really, most of this rides greatly on the recast.

When you if you put the whole 200,000 on the recast,

is it going to get your monthly payment where it needs to be?

25% of your take home.

It currently is already it's all we got our market is currently within 25%

or take home pay currently already.

So then what's the purpose of recasting?

Why wouldn't you just put it apply it towards the principal and just pay down the house?

Well, they said if you recast is what we were told.

If you recast with any year, you can put that money and it'll it'll lower the month,

the mortgage payment as well.

It will, but it will, but less money will go to the principal.

So what by you doing that, you're kind of shifting everything towards if you just

had a smaller payment.

The smaller payment means less goes to the principal and the less goes to interest

or the same amount goes to interest.

So you're robbing your principal payment at that point.

So that's why I wouldn't do that.

But I would just apply it to the principal if you want to pay the mortgage down.

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All right.

I want to do a quick follow up, Jade.

I know you wanted to say a little bit more about our last caller to do some clarification.

Yeah.

I want to talk about the recasting because we don't get that call a lot.

And it's actually an interesting thing that you could put a lump sum if let's pretend

that you have a mortgage that's, you know, the payments, it's, it's eating your lunch

is a little too high.

Maybe you come into a lump sum of money, maybe you've just been able to save up somehow

some way, whatever.

You come across 20, 30, 40, and in his case, it was $200,000 that he wanted to instead

of do what we teach, which is apply a principal payment, extra payment, and just lower the,

the principal, the entire balance completely.

He wanted to recast it, which basically what it does, let's pretend he bought the house

for $400,000, I think he told us it was at 7%.

When you recast it, the, the, the lump sum would go directly to there.

And so they're now, they're re, recasting the balance at the new, the new amount.

So it'd be at 200,000, but the terms are still the same.

So it's still be at 7%, it's still be on a 30 year mortgage.

So I suggested what I suggested, which is only put it towards the principal, don't recast.

The point here is to pay the thing off fast, like we want you to pay the mortgage off.

If he recasts it, since the terms are the same, it's still on a 30 year or a 15 year whatever

he had, and it's not going directly in that way.

So if he, if he wanted to, and I'm not saying that this is the best thing, if he did

recast it, and then he still paid the mortgage as though it was the old mortgage, that could

kind of be a move.

But really the only benefit there I could see is like, I don't know, it's almost like

a contingency, like if I fell on hard times, my payment would be lower.

But that's not really the ramsy way.

The better way here is to go, go for the principal, go for paying off the mortgage, saving

time.

Time is of the essence, so you can take that money and later on use it to build other types

of wealth.

Love it.

All right.

Great clarification there.

The number to jump in, AAA 8255225, Kate is up next in Newark, New Jersey.

Kate, how can we help?

Yes.

Hi.

I'm Shannon Jade.

First of all, I want to say thank you so much for taking my call and nervous.

Don't worry.

We are on your team.

We're going to take good care of you.

Thank you so much.

You're my favorite duo, by the way.

I listen to you guys everything.

Well, now we're going to be extra nice now.

Look what you've done.

What's going on?

How come you're not?

My question is, so real quick, I didn't really question them in whatever details you need

to staff.

The question I have is, I don't know if we'll be able to continue making house payments because

my husband is a spend-drift and we can't keep up with our monthly minimums due to how

much debt he's racked up in the year that we've had that we've bought our house and now

we are paycheck to paycheck for house work.

What has he racked up?

$12,000 in credit card debt in the year.

Okay.

What is the minimum payment on that $12,000?

So it's all different.

It's six different, actually, seven different credit cards.

Okay.

The monthly minimums, yeah, are about $715 a month for all of them.

What's your mortgage payment?

Yeah.

$3,138.

What's your combined incomes?

So I'm not currently working.

Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom.

He makes met $140,000 a year.

Okay.

And is he feeling this weight?

We know you are.

Is he feeling this?

I don't think he's feeling it as much as he's definitely not feeling it as much as I am,

but I laid it all in front of him basically to show him, like,

how, like, everything on paper.

And he kind of bought it, I think, but this is back in November.

And at the time, he had agreed.

He will have squarna and sezel.

And I don't hate them, but he thinks that it's fine to pay the due,

the paying for things because no interest or whatever.

He agreed in November not to spend on those for Christmas gifts.

And I thought that we were on the same page.

He had agreed and come to find out he actually did use squarna and sezel.

And he actually just finished paying off the last payment this past week.

But we almost weren't able to make our payment.

We had to try to get scrounge around for cash to pay for our car payment.

So this was very recent, and I want to get Jade involved here,

but I'm just kind of gathering some more information here.

What was his, what were the comments?

What has the conversation been?

We know what happened in November.

Now here we are just the other day scrambling around for quarters, if you will,

to make a car payment.

Yeah, literally.

What's the conversation then?

It's almost like he doesn't really want to have the conversation.

It's almost like he's digging his head in the sand.

He doesn't want to face the consequences.

And a little backstory.

He is a recovering alcoholic.

Okay.

And I really truly believe that the spending is because it's what's grip based.

It's a replacement.

That changes the equation.

Jade, I know you've got thoughts.

I want you to weigh in here for her.

Well, I mean, definitely the reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this.

I wonder would he be open?

Have you said that to him that this is your fear and this is how you're perceiving this?

I have said it to him.

We actually are in marriage counseling.

We're in individual counseling.

Great.

Okay, good.

Which thankfully it's covered by our insurance.

We have, he has very good insurance with his wife.

Great.

And we are in marriage counseling.

But so far, we're working on addressing it, but it's like slow going.

It's not getting anywhere.

It's getting, yeah, it's very slow going.

Okay.

Yeah, I mean, we can talk about numbers, but this really is just beyond a numbers equation.

I mean, just really quickly, I can tell you, your mortgage is 35% of your take home pay.

It seems like, which is already a little high.

I mean, it's nothing to like freak out over.

But when you add 715 bucks a month of credit card debt, yeah, you're going to feel it.

So that's the mechanics, you know, numbers wise of why you're feeling this a little bit more.

But the truth is until he gets a handle on why he's spending and what the issue is,

it's going to be a problem.

Now, I don't know if you've suggested this in counseling.

I'm trying to put myself in your shoes.

If I were in your shoes, what I would bring to my counselor is this.

I would say, I believe clearly my husband has struggled with addiction.

I think that he has found a way to not use alcohol anymore, but I feel like it's shifted to spending.

And because of that, I'm starting to think that maybe for a season I should be the one to handle.

Yeah.

The finances since his addiction seems to be functioning in our money.

Do you handle those problems?

I had a question about that anyway. It's a very good point.

Do you handle the finances or is he?

So interesting to say that I have been asking to do the budgeting and everything as a partnership together so far.

He has not really wanted to do it. He just wants me to do it.

But at the same time, I think that's good.

He just recently, he just recently put his direct deposit into the joint account up to now literally last week.

Good.

It hasn't been so he finally put in a joint account and he is kind of like washed his hands of it.

He's like, doesn't want to.

Great news.

That is great news.

Now, I want to jump in really quick because our time is limited.

Practically speaking, do you both have car payments?

There's just one.

I thought I heard car payment.

It's just.

It's just his.

Yeah, minus paid off.

Okay.

Because I'm wondering what you can start to do since he's taking the hands off.

So we need to look at selling that car.

That's going to be a tough conversation.

But I'm looking at what are some quick things.

I get it.

It's why I acknowledged.

It may not be the right one to go after right now.

But with you now taking over the finances, what can you do?

Can you cancel the credit cards?

If your name's on them, you cancel the credit cards today.

Let's make this a real pain for him.

Jade, I want to bring you back into that.

You got about a minute.

What would you practically do if you were her?

I would.

I would make it more formal.

I love that he shifted it that way.

But I would almost, like I said, with your counselor decide the best way to do this,

he doesn't need access to the money on his own.

He just doesn't because he's proven that he can't control spending.

And that is an addiction.

Spending is an addiction, especially it looks like it in his case.

And so I would take a little tougher stance on that and say,

OK, when you say I'm in charge of the money,

that means I'm going to distribute in the way that I'm going to distribute it.

Which this is only for a season until you can get well again.

And then we'll be really 50-50 on this again.

And I would take a pretty strong stance on that because your family,

their safety is at stake and so is yours.

Music

All right, tax season is here.

I know, gave you all collective indigestion.

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You got to get a free checklist, by the way, and guides from us.

And this is at ramsysolutions.com slash taxes.

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make the right decisions, get the right people on your team,

depending on your unique situation, ramsysolutions.com slash taxes.

Edwin is up next in Minneapolis.

Edwin, how can we help?

Hey guys, hey thanks for taking my call.

I am in the middle of maybe deciding to make a huge career change

as in I currently am self-employed on my family dairy farm.

I own all the cows and rent the land.

But I'm not sure if that's where I'm supposed to be.

And I am looking to maybe go do a change of career to firefighting out west

or something along that line.

Okay, I'm going to step in here Edwin and I'm going to take a guess.

Tell me if I'm wrong.

That you absolutely know.

Deep down that you're not supposed to be running the dairy farm.

True false.

Yeah, I don't, I can't answer that specifically.

Why?

I do, I do, I do love the animals.

And it is maybe something to do with the fact that I'm the youngest

and I sort of felt that I was supposed to take it.

Okay, let me reword it a different way.

Okay, let's say that, let's say that right now in my ear,

Kelly is producing our show today.

She says, hey, can we just got a call from this fire department out west

and they need someone like Edwin.

They got a great job for him right now.

Edwin, how do you react to that emotionally?

Well, I couldn't take it right now.

I didn't ask you that.

Edwin, you gotta, hold on a second, hold on, hold on.

I would want to take it.

Okay, what would your heart do?

I'm pretty excited.

Okay, it's a simple question.

I understand we have realities, but this is why you called the show today.

And so, so, okay, so let's keep playing this out.

Your heart would be going crazy, but you'd have to unwind some things

on the dairy farm true or false.

Right, I would have to figure out a way to keep it going

or make sure that it's not just going to fall apart.

Okay, how would you do that?

Keep it high level.

Don't get in the weeds.

What would you have to accomplish for that to be the fact?

Find somebody to run it or create a partnership with my brothers

that are still in the area, but they would have to sacrifice to do that as well.

And then all of a sudden, it becomes about Edwin,

and I'm not sure that I like doing that to my family.

Okay.

Is this entire business on your shoulders?

Did somebody tell you that?

It debt owns the land.

I am in charge of everything running it.

I own the cows like I am charged to income expenses.

Everything is on my shoulders.

Okay, but that's not your dad's business.

Your dad owns the land.

The land is valuable, whether there's milk cows on there or not, true or false.

Yep.

True.

Okay.

So if you shut the thing down, look at this is horrible, but it's going to make my point.

If you get hit by a bus today, dad's land.

Dad doesn't lose a nickel on the land.

True false.

Oh, that would be true.

So whose business is the dairy business?

The dairy business is mine, 100%.

And Edwin doesn't want to be in the dairy business, but you've calculated this thing,

and you've tied your responses to the fact that if you go chase your dream

and do what you really want to do and fight fires out west,

that you're somehow letting the family down.

But best I can tell by your words, Jay, if I missed something.

I don't think so.

That this is actually your business to decide what you want to do with.

True or false?

True.

So it feels like Edwin's...

Definitely cut me off probably from my family as far as...

Why?

Why would they be so effective?

My dad would not be happy.

He'd find his whole life building this thing up.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

You just told us that the dairy business is yours.

He just has the land.

He's just been offering the land.

Yeah.

I mean, he literally sold me the cows and nobody else on the family is technically at home.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Edwin, stop.

You paid your dad a fair price for the cows.

I did, yeah.

He didn't give him to you.

No, he didn't.

I gotta tell you, I'm not sure that you're correct.

I think you're scared to death to leave your family

and you've concocted some drama that may not be true.

Is that possible?

That is possible.

Well, I'm gonna tell you I'm working with my brothers on this.

Well, what do they say about all of this?

Well, they're both on the fence of you should go

and then there's some to say you should stay home.

All right, I think the time has come on this call.

All right, Edwin, I think the time has come on this call

to where you need to hear a different voice.

And my kids, I could tell them everything.

The gospel truth, great wisdom,

and they'd not listen to me.

And a coach or a teacher tells them and they listen.

So I'm checking out because I've already walked you through.

I didn't even tell you anything.

I walked you into a corner.

You're terrified.

You're terrified and you're letting your fear

all of a sudden become a ration.

The ration now for you to not leave.

I'm gonna bring Jade in who's been listening the entire time.

She's the voice you need to hear.

Jade, I give you the balance of my time.

I really think that you are well.

Yeah, Ken is nailed it.

I'm only gonna reiterate what he said.

I think you're well within the bounds to pursue firefighting.

I think it is your business.

Therefore, you get to decide what happens with it.

It sounds like you know what that would look like

or what that could look like.

And it's okay.

I also, if you are correct in what you think might happen

as far as the reactions of your family,

they get to react and you can't control what their reaction is.

And it's not your job to control what their reaction may or may not be.

You can speculate about it, but you can't control it.

And you certainly can't let someone else's reaction

of what they think you should be doing with your life stop you.

You can't cry over spilled milk.

Very true.

That's right.

You know?

I mean, I've been sitting there.

I mean, what are we doing here?

I think mom and dad will be proud.

I think the fact that your brothers told you to do it.

And here's the other side of this Edwin.

And we've said this a million times on this show.

If you don't do this.

Yeah, I've heard it.

Okay.

Well, then you know what I'm about to say.

If you don't do this for the reasons that you've given us,

you're going to end up presenting people that you care so deeply about.

That you, by the way, just made an assumption about.

Or what?

I will regret myself.

You will.

Well, I went ahead of that.

The resentment becomes of the regret.

So regret hits us first.

And then we start looking for places to put the blame on.

And we'll put the blame on the family members.

We actually never had the power as Jade so beautifully said.

So my point is, I jumped ahead.

Resentment comes after regret.

Yeah, that's very true.

Listen, man.

Eat more chicken.

Sell them very cows.

Let's go.

I got no puns left.

That's all I got.

I only had two.

But I think you got to do it.

I'm as serious as I can be for a moment.

You're a young man who has a feeling in your heart.

The reason I started off this call, and Jade turned me do this 100,000 times.

And I do it privately, too.

The test is always the heart test.

You cannot put enough value on how your heart and your body feel.

And if anybody's ever felt it, the call to something or a draw to something,

it is undeniable.

That's right.

Once you can't, you can't stop it.

You cannot stop it.

So what's it?

Oh, he's there pulling.

What say you is, who cares if your dad has a cow over you selling this business?

You got to move on.

Oh, look what you did.

See, I had nothing left and you came in over the top.

The puns are flying.

Because the truth is so clear, it's time to move forward.

And by the way, this is your life.

It's your life.

You got to make the calls for your life, man.

And boy, you're going to go out there and you're going to do some great workout west.

I hear the excitement already on this boy.

I do, too.

I feel like you feel a little lighter.

Right?

Yeah.

That one.

Definitely.

And listen, if you want to keep one of the cows, keep one of the cows.

I think it'd be so cool to have a dairy cow.

Oh, yeah.

They're great looking at it.

The ones with the bangs, the bangs and their face.

They will always my favorite cows at the fair.

Oh, yeah, they're sweet.

The dairy cows.

And here you are making a sandwich out of it, Ken.

I'd move if I could.

Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Music.

know and get. And I got a letter from the consolidating to

consolidate it by stopping you credit cards. And so that was

the first question I've kind of listened over and looked at

the show. It doesn't, you know, that's a bad idea from what I

hear you are saying. Or is it a bad idea or I don't three

houses? Okay, tell us about those. I'm going to go short

answer likely. Yes, short answer. Yes, debt consolidation. It

is not the answer to this situation. It rarely I would never

suggest it as the answer. The reason is what it's doing is

something you could do, which is not pay your debts, pull the

money. And then when they're ready to settle, now you can

make a settlement. That's all they're doing. And they're just

doing with with fees attached. So you don't need help doing

that. Tell us about the three houses because your your

solution is likely there. Well, the thing is I have

renters and I rented for forever. And to sell one of the

houses, I'd have to be putting a family out. That's true.

And they really are in that position. And I so far, I

haven't been able to do it. And I have problems there just

because they have five kids. Are your prices competitive or are

you giving them some sort of a deal that they wouldn't be

able to get elsewhere? I'm probably very low on that

house that I would sell. Okay, let's go to the other two.

We'll set let's set that one aside. We appreciate your

heart. What about the other two houses? Give us the numbers.

One house spent for 1350. It would sell for 170,000. How much

would you make on that? Oh, I don't know anything on the

houses. Okay, so it's all it's all profit. That's house number two.

Let's go to house number three. House number three is a

it's basically a rental apartment. But it's a home. But it's not

very big. How much is it worth if you sold it today? How much would

you pocket? It's on my property on my house right on house.

Okay. So I couldn't sell that part of it. You know what I'm

saying? It's just a spare house. Okay, so you and you just

happen to figure out a way. And just just for the heck of it,

what is the house that the family of five or the family of seven

with five kids? How much is that house worth?

Down the street it went from one other house went from one to seven.

Okay, so this is this is a no-brainer to me. Can I ask a question

before because I know what you're going to do? I just am curious. For a guy who's

got two cash houses, why do you have $79,000 in debt?

I spend too much. But you paid off these other houses, right?

Well, I paid off the other houses a while ago. Basically, I paid cash. I

turned in my 401 my retirement when it dropped so much from 2008.

I got upset that they took all that money. I lost a lot.

And so it took the rest of it paid the fees and bought the child. Oh gosh,

so you have nothing in a 401k? Oh, I have nothing now.

Understood. So your income, your income will be...

Then go back and tell me again, what's the rent

from house number one with the family of five? What's your rent on that?

What do you take? 11, 1100. And what goes away in fees and upkeep? What do you

actually pocket as profit from that house?

There's not much fees in it. I haven't been much fees in

upkeep over the last couple of years. Well, I mean, certainly, you take some.

Certainly, you take money out in case the AC goes out or in case it needs to repair.

I'm a plumber. Okay. All right. So for round numbers,

for round numbers, I'll use the 1100. But I want to encourage you to

know what the numbers are less upkeep because that's going to give you a clear

picture of how well this is doing. Tell me the rent on number three, the one

that's on your property. A thousand. A thousand. So so far,

we've got 2100. And what's it take? Are you going to be drawing?

You said you're going to draw Social Security here soon. What will that be?

Yes, 2000. 2000. Do you think you can hold on until

later so you can get a higher amount?

No, I've already signed up for it. And I don't know.

Some health problems. I'm not sure I want to wait. Are you currently employed?

Okay. I want to try myself. I own a plumbing business.

Okay, great. What do you pay yourself out of the plumbing business?

Um, I basically don't know. I pay for the plumbing parts and the plumbing

bills. And then I put in my taxes. Are you busy?

I'm hard to check. Are you busy? Um, I work as I work as much as I want every

day. Okay. Don't push it as hard as I used to because you're healthy.

Eight to 10 hours a day. Well, you got no, you got no retirement.

You got no retirement. So you need to sell at least one of these houses

and clear up the debt. And then Jade walk you through. You've got to start

reinvesting in now. Yeah. So I mean, here's the thing. We need real numbers.

I have a feeling. Obviously you don't have a budget. What I'm gathering is

you're bringing in somewhere around 4,000 to 4,100 a month plus whatever plumbing

you do. We don't know what that amount is. Um, the equation we need is

how much does it cost for you to run your lifestyle minus the debt?

Because we're going to pay the debt off. So we need to find out how much does it

take to keep the lights on, keep the water going, keep food on the table,

keep the vehicles running. Um, if it's 4,100, you're okay.

And you can make this work. Uh, what I would suggest is just what Ken said.

We're going to sell house number two and we're going to take the, you know,

79 of the 100,000 and we're going to pay off the debt.

And then you're going to take 90,000. And I would say, keep three to six months

of expenses out. Keep that in a high yield savings account.

And then the rest, you're going to plop it in some nice mutual funds.

And if you, if you can, after this call, uh, go to Ramsey Solutions.com, uh,

slash smart vester, I believe is what it is.

And I, I want you to get with a smart vester pro because investing some of this

money is going to be helpful for you. It's not going to be the break free

point for you. I think at this point, um, I think at this point for you,

keeping these paid for, um, uh, real estate is going to help you

live like a, you can't afford to sell these just yet. So keeping the rent on

them is probably going to be a big, a good move for you.

And if you get to the point where you can no longer be a landlord,

you're selling those and you're popping those into a 401k is, I'm sorry,

into a Roth IRA as well. Really? So you don't think you should sell

one to clear the 79? If he sells it, he doesn't have any income.

I told him to, no, I told him to sell number two. Okay, good.

I'm talking about the other two. The one that's on his property. He can't sell

that one anyway. I agree. But I would tell you, the one with the family of seven

with five kids, appreciate your heart, but they need to at least be paying

market rent. That's true. And then at the same time, if you need to unload that

to take care of yourself, you can give them plenty of advanced

notice where you're not kicking them out. That's true. That's true. You can't

just be the, you know, whatever you've

fashioned yourself to be this hero here. It doesn't make you a bad guy.

There's a way to go about it in a way that does not, you know,

make life for them really uncomfortable and stressful.

But that's something to be thinking about. And I agree, you need to sit with

a smart investor pro tomorrow and begin to plot out your future.

It's that time again, folks. Tax season is here.

I know some of you would rather bury your head in the sand until April 15th

than face your taxes. But here's a better idea. If your tax situation is

complicated, get in touch with a Ramsey trusted tax pro today.

That way they can take the stress off your shoulders. And once those

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All right. The Ramsey Show question of the day is sponsored by

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All righty. Today's question comes from Ashley in South Dakota. She says,

Jade, Jade mentioned on a recent show that her husband saves his personal fund money out of

their budget to make larger purchases. What are the logistics of that? How and where

is allocated money set aside and tracked? So he knows how much he has in that fund.

Oh, I do love this question. Okay. And I know I know how he does this. You do. You might need

to take this part, kid. Yeah. Okay. I would just go out on the limit and just say,

this is what Sam and I do. Okay. This is how it goes in the workshop. Household,

you know, don't at me. Okay. So on the budget, we have a certain amount of money,

fund money. One line is for Jade and one line is for Sam. It's the same amount for each of us.

It's there every single month and it used to be for the longest. If you didn't use it,

you'd lose it. It's like, if you don't use it, it's going to roll into savings,

it's going to roll. It's going to go somewhere. So you may, I always use mine. But Sam was really

bad about using it. And so he finally was like, I'm going to pull this money out and just stack it

up because he's the type A, he has expensive taste, Ken Coleman. I know. And he likes things that

one month of fund money can't buy. Okay. Yeah. And that's fine. So he stacks it up. I'll be on,

I'm going to be dead honest with you. I don't know where he puts it. You don't? It's somewhere in

the house. I totally know where he does. Where is it? It's in a drawer. It's in a sock drawer. I

think so. Okay. Don't quote me on the socks. But he and I were hanging out recently. I think this

may have how this came up on the show. He pulled off a great surprise for the fan. He did. I don't

want to reveal stuff. I'm not allowed to reveal. But he and I were talking about it. I knew about it

ahead of time. And he told me he was like, this is, this is really an expensive surprise. And I

said, dude, you're making memories. And he did. Yeah, he did. But it was because he stacks it. Yeah.

In that drawer, wherever the drawer is. And then he was like, oh, it's months and months.

Months and months. Sam has always been a squirrel since I've met him. He stacks cash. That is what

he does. I'm the spender. Well, anyway, yeah, he stacks it up. I'm sure as far as the question,

how does he know how much he has? I think he's just counting it. Like I think he revisits it

every once in a while. I bet you count it when he adds to it. Yeah, he probably does. He has a

ballpark idea. Yeah, he probably keeps a ballpark idea in his head. And when he feels like he's

getting close, he probably counts it. Now I, Jade, could care less. I'm telling you right now,

I don't know how much money he has over there. I don't care if I went home today and said, I want

to know how much money you have. Show me where it is. He would do all of those things. So it's not

even a question. And I know like he was saving up. He wants to buy a golf cart. He was saving up to

do that. Yeah, he saved up and bought the, he, and he can buy whatever he wants. He saved up and

bought a real life replica Ninja Turtle suit from the, the movie Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles back

in the 90s. Yeah, not a replica, like legit, legit, legit, yeah, an actor would have worn on

the movie. Yeah, it's on display in his office. It's unbelievable. It's pretty crazy. But what was

great is, is like, and this is a great story because he said to me and I, he goes, do you think this

is insane? And he told me how much the thing was going to cost. And I go, do you have the cash

sitting in your drawer? He goes, yeah. And then some, I was like, what are we talking about?

This is a done deal. Because it was months and months of a line item that stacked up and then

it was also something that made memories. I literally was like, what are we talking about? You

have to do it. Yes. And he did. So anyway, that's how he does it. That's how he does it. It's not

real scientific. And I think, I think it is on par with how fun money should be spent. Like,

who says it has to be all right? It's not an FSA. And your personalities are different. So if

we mean it and we put it in the budget, then it's yours today and you spend yours every month.

I, I, I, I have a little bit saved. All right. Let me ask a question. And you can, you can

choose not to answer. But I think America would like to know. Give us an example or two of something

you have recently bought with your fun money. Oh, boy. Whether, whether you saved or you went

all in on something very small and reasonable. I don't remember the last thing I bought. It was

probably some clothing or shoe item. Like, it's usually clothes or clothes or shoes. Okay. Well,

there it is. But I'm about to buy a hair dryer. It's $500. And I'm saving up for it. Yeah,

it's called the Rev Air. And it's amazing. It's just one that you sit under all along the

1970s. No, it works. The opposite. It works like a vacuum. So it sucks your hair in. And then

it, you don't like, there's no tension. It sucks your hair into the tube. Sorry. What I'm doing

with my hands. And then it dries inside. Yeah. And then it comes out dry and straight. And you can

set it on setting. So if you have your curly hair, it keeps here curly. If you have straight,

it straightens it out. Does it? Does the owner's manual recommend that you do that with another

adult present? No, you can do it. You can do it. It sells a little risky to me. Okay. The way

you described. Excellent. Sucking in your hair. And what happens if it like takes your ear off?

Well, it's gentle. It's gentle. But that's what I'm saving my fun money for. So the point here is

guys, you need, you need, you need a fun money on your budget. Number one, if you're beyond baby

step two and three. And it's okay to save it up. Yeah. I think so. Yeah. Would you do you support

this message? Oh, 100% and I, I support the fact that you're taking on a somewhat physically

risky hair dryer. It's a promise. It's all right. I'm a little concerned about it, but as long as

again, Sam is around. He's around. He can help out if something goes awry. Melissa's up next is

Chicago. Melissa, how can we help? I have a question about a student loan debt, but it is not my

student loan. My daughter is 27 and she's been graduated for a few years now. And I know her loans

earn for badans. And while she was growing up, I was a single mom. I'm still single, but I had

one income and I wasn't able to help her save a lot for college. So I'm in a better position now

and I really want to come up with a plan to help her pay these off, but make it motivating for her

to do so. Plus financially, you know, her being an adult, me being a mom, like, where should I

go with that, like offering her money? Or I just don't know how to quite make her, because she

hasn't been paying on them, because she's a teacher and she's in the low income category right now.

So she's kind of been bearing her head in the sand. And I've been listening to you for like four

months now and student loans in alone. And I feel like I skipped over that baby step because I

wasn't able to do it at the time and now I can help a little bit. So I don't know where I should set

or how far I should step into this. Well, I love that year. He hasn't asked for any help might,

might I add? She's never asked for any help on it. I mean, I love the heart that you would even

want to help. I think that's very sweet and very kind. My first order of business, it would be to

determine if you're in a position to help. So how old are you? 47. Okay. And tell us about your

financial snapshot. Do you have any debt? I have no debt. No debt. Great. And emergency fund saved up.

Six months. Love that for you. And you're actively investing the 15 percent.

Correct. Okay. And so I mean, I'm going to jump in real quick because we only have about 30 or 40

seconds. The question I have is how much income above and beyond your expenses do you have flexibility

with every month? Oh, I have probably 1500. Good. And that's what you would spend or what would you

give me? I travel a lot. I travel. Hey, no shame in your game. So tell Jade, what are you thinking?

What tell Jade? What you think you're going to contribute? What you thought about? I was thinking,

I say, Hey, let's get going. Whatever you put down, I will match 50%. I want you to have some

skin in the game, but you need to start. She got to like that. I like the matching thing because

it incentivizes her to make payments as well. My only caveat on this is you must make

the payment directly to the debt. We're not going to just give her the money. Okay. Okay. So

get a hold of all of her information to do that directly. Yep. And she makes the payment first

and you make the payment second. That way, that way, it's it's on the up and off. It's a pro tip

there. I like that. That's it is. That's why she's in that chair there. I love that. Hey, Melissa,

you're a good mom. Thanks for calling. I think Jade gave you some great advice. I would walk that out

to a tee.

Hey guys, what's up? It's Jade and I'm pumped for the new year and I hope you are too,

but the problem is most people start the new year with a lot of promises and no real plan.

You know how it is. I'm going to save money or I'm going to get my financial act together.

But without a plan, you just wing it and hope it works out. Listen, don't play yourself.

I want you to win and our every dollar app is the game changer you need. In 15 minutes,

every dollar helps you build a plan based on where you're at with money right now. And every day,

the app coaches you with ways to find extra money so you can beat debt and build wealth faster.

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wish your money works out. You can be the one to actually make it happen this year. Download the

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All right, let's go to Lisa in Las Vegas. Lisa, how can we help?

Hi, thanks for taking my call today. You bet. What's going on?

I have to have a question. I've been, this is a very many. This is my second marriage.

And for him, we've been married for four years and he still refuses to combine finances,

no matter what comes at us. He was recently laid off after being at a company for 25 years

and about four months ago. And after that, he still refuses to combine finances. So

I don't know. My question is how do I move forward despite that decision?

So first things first, if he's not making an income, how is he living if he refuses to combine

finances? Um, he's getting unemployment. Um, in recently, I did not know he was gambling.

No gambling. I'm like, why do I know this till he 150,000, like 30 days ago. Uh-huh.

So he doesn't know for that. What kind of gambling are we talking about?

Um, he gets her mind for the football game sports betting. Man, that's a problem.

Okay, that makes this make more sense when you were first talking. Um, Lisa, I had the thought.

I thought people who don't want transparency are generally trying to hide something, not always,

but a lot of times that's, especially if they're like, adamant about it. And they gaslight you

say, well, I don't trust you. Yeah. Okay. So this is a big deal. Any type of, um, I don't know if

it's an addiction. I mean, gambling in and of itself, you know, it's, it can be fine to place

a bet on something. Obviously, but it seems, it seems like there could be more than meets the

eye to his gambling simply because it's been used as a front to keep you out of his business

financially. So you say again, he's not, I feel like he's not gambling like thousands and

thousands. How do you know, like you this time? Um, based on the income that he makes, and he's

going, he's all the bills. So it's about a year ago. I was like, you know what? If you're not

going to see, I'm dumping the bill. How do you know he's not taking out good? I church his

credit score. Okay. Okay. Okay. So there is some transparency.

Yeah. Okay. Um, what do you think? You know him better than Ken and I? What do you think is

the reason that he doesn't want to combine finances? Is it, he got burned in his previous marriage?

No, this is seriously. I don't think, um, I don't think so. He just didn't work out. Um, he

doesn't, if he doesn't trust me, and I just want to give you like a little glimpse of what my

financial situation looks like when I came into marriage, um, I had just finished building a

triplex and since making marriage, we've, I've paid it off since it was pre-marriage. So I get

income off of that. I work two jobs just because I like it and I because I have two. So it's not like

your hard worker. Is there anything relationally that would give him reason not to

bot? Like, can you think of, and you don't have to tell us if there is exactly what it is,

but is there anything relationally that could cause him to go? I'm not sure if I trust her.

Um, if there is, it's just something that he has to work through and I know if it's really

something I've given him to hold it against me. But do you know of anything that could be there,

even if it's his to work through, do you know of what that could be? And again, you don't have to

say it specifically, but how? I mean, I haven't done anything, you know, to make him feel insecure,

that I'm going to steal all the money either. Does he tell you the reason he doesn't trust,

if you ask him straight up, hey, what, what is the reason that you don't trust me? What,

what is it? What does he tell you? Because I would end combined finances in the

beginning, but I had no money in the beginning. So there was really nothing to combine.

So that was, that leads me to, did you guys discuss this at all before you got married?

So we did, and we did open a check and account in the beginning to combine our finances.

Again, I wasn't putting any money in it because I had no money when we met. But he wanted to combine,

he wanted to combine finances when you got married? Yeah, he was open to it, but little by little,

he started putting his check tone to work money into another account and little by little,

like that communal account stopped being used. So it's kind of like we went back, but

I want to go back to that because I feel like I heard a couple of different things. First,

you said, he doesn't trust me because in the beginning, he wanted to combine finances and I didn't.

Then it changed to, well, I would have, but I didn't have any money. Then it changed to,

well, he stopped putting money in the account, right? So already that story shifting has me,

has a question mark over my head, over, over what's really going on? How are you guys really

talking about money? How is he perceiving what you're saying in your actions? Because I'll be

honest, I'm having a hard time perceiving it myself. If he was on the phone with us,

the first thing I would have said after hearing all this is you guys need to go sit with a

marriage therapist who is objective and guiding you both at the same time. You guys, you're

like ships in the night a little bit, there's some stuff going on, you both come from previous

marriages, you gotta own it and go, we aren't on the same page. And if we don't get on the same

page, this is going to fall apart. So now's a good time. Doesn't sound like things are completely

on fire. But yeah, you guys just, you just don't sound like you're doing marriage the way that

it's supposed to be done. And that's just like, hey, we're actually trying. Doesn't mean we're perfect,

but we're trying to be on the same page. And I just don't feel like that's happening. And I think

you need an impartial professional to help you get there. Yeah, I would agree with that. I don't

think that this is a numbers or really a money conversation per se. Yeah, yeah. And again,

I think there's a bigger issue here and I'll put you on hold because I want Jay to teach to this.

This is a good example of why we talk about combining incomes when you get married.

So let's go back. It's almost like a refresher. Why do we teach it? And how does this call kind of

play it out to where we go? This is the potential pitfalls, even though this is not, I don't think

a crisis yet. Yeah. So I mean, there's the relational benefit, then there's the actual financial

benefit, right? Financially, it makes sense to incomes are better than one. You know, two heads are

better than one. You go further faster together, right? That's just kind of like the headline version

of that. I don't think anybody would really argue with that. Now, of course, much of those

isms matter with who you married, right? You know, if you're married to ball and chain, you

ain't going anywhere fast, right? So I understand that I want to know. I want you to know I know that.

So marrying the right person obviously matters to that equation. Then there's the relational

side, which is why marrying the right person matters. The relational side, guys, is when you can

combine finances, that means that there's a level of trust and a level of transparency in marriage,

that is needed to function properly. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you

don't trust. You can't function properly in marriage with someone you wouldn't be willing to

give your passcode to, that you wouldn't be willing to let them see all of your purchases.

Because then you have to ask yourself, why am I hiding this? Why am I hiding this specifically

from them? Why do they feel they need to hide from me? It unlocks so many questions within the

relationship, which can be a good thing in this case, because now we're starting to head on the

path of a realness. Because trust is a two way street. Right. And I love how your point is out

because I could be sitting in this situation going, okay, I don't trust you. And then if we dive

into it with a therapist, you go, well, what are the reasons you don't trust? And it's not something

they've actually done. It's something that has been done to you. Possibly. Yes. Possibly. Yes.

It's not always that clean. But can we also talk about, and I want to say this with the caveat,

I've only been married one time. Sam Worshaw is my only husband. Me too. But I do find,

well, except for the Sam being my, being at state this morning. Good clarity. I do find that

on this show, we do find this a lot in second marriages. Yeah. And it's almost like there's,

it's almost like there's a framework that we have for first marriages, but we don't carry that

framework in, which is the all in I'm in. I'm with this person. We don't carry that into the

second marriage. And it's due to hurt, I'm sure, or I got burned, or a man, they really out,

did a number on me. And I think you have to fight really hard if you're in that second marriage

seat to honor the same vows and principles that marriage really is, which is I am giving all of

me to all of you. And we are becoming one flesh. That really is what marriage is about at the core.

I heard John Legend in the background. When you were saying,

hit me, hit me. I can't do John Legend. I'm not even trying. It's ready for it. No, it's terrible.

I would just butcher it, but great advice. And that's why we teach it. That's this plane of an

explanation you're going to get.

Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on the show, we help people work through real money problems

and figure out what to do next. Now you can get that same kind of help anytime with ask Ramsey.

Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show, whether you're

making a decision or just want something explained, ask Ramsey is here to help. It's fast, simple,

and free to use. Go to RamseySolutions.com and try ask Ramsey today. That's RamseySolutions.com.

All right. Our scripture of the day comes from John 3 verse 27. John answered and said,

a man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven. And our quote from Ronald Reagan,

the American dream is not that every that every man must be level with every other man.

The American dream is that every man must be free to become whatever God intends he should become.

All right. Our next person up is Zach in Columbus, Ohio. Zach, how can we help?

Hi, how you doing? Good. How are you, sir? Long time following. Oh, pretty good.

Long time following of the baby steps. I have purchased my dream court. I've owned it for about

four years now, which is what? So it's a 2017 Dodge Challenger P.A. edition with a manual transmission.

Okay. It's got only 16,000 miles on it. I bought it with 13,000. So I put about 3,000 four years.

Treated as a Sunday driver type thing only in the summer. It's the same year that my son was born.

So kind of sentimental to me. Okay. Come on, baby step four, five, and six, and I heat yet.

I'm going through a baby step two twice now. First time to pay off $140,000. Second time was

$113,000. So one left down is my mortgage and it's driving crazy. How much? So I put

$44,000. I just made a payment of $7,500 on Monday. What is your anticipated payoff?

Because I know you're thinking about it. 36 months. Wow. Okay. So what's your question?

Well, I bought this car with the intention of keeping it forever. One of my grandkids,

one day to find it in the bar type thing. But I'm contemplated. If I sold this car,

I could pay off 21% of my remaining mortgage tomorrow. What's that number?

So I could sell the car wholesale, 31% of the sale tomorrow. If I sold it retail,

or not to another buyer, probably can get about 35 for it. I got to tell you, I mean,

if you want to sell it, you can't. I wouldn't. Okay. You got two no sales here.

I mean, you sat here. You spent way more time explaining the car than the problem,

which means you love the car. And then don't tell us it's on your child's birthday and all

these other things. You want them to find it in the bar one day? Come on. I mean, here's the

are you financially responsible? Yes or no? Yes, sir. Are you on track to pay that house off

in 36 months? Yes, sir. What are we doing here? Yeah. Like here's the thing.

You sell that car. Let's just play this out. Let's fast forward. You sell the car and let's say

you split the difference. You get 30,000 for it. Okay. And you put that on the mortgage.

How much time is that going to shave off the 36 months? Eight months. Eight months.

Oh, so not worth it. Now what do you think? Yeah. And that's where I'm stuck. No, you're not.

Now I get into thinking of, you know, if I do keep it forever, you know, just to break

so on is $5,000 on this car. Okay, but let's. I want to, I'm going to fight for this for a second

because we're talking about eight months or a legacy because when you said I want them to find

it in the barn, we're talking about that as a long, expansive time. So when you're really saying,

it's a question of time here, which time matters more? The eight months that it's going to shave

off my debt-free journey or the years and years that I'm going to drive this car in the summertime

with my kids, the thing that I hope to leave to them, right? And don't get me wrong. You're going

to do what you want to do and no one's going to be mad at you. I just want to help you see the value

of what you what you were intending to do. Zach, I don't think you think you deserve it.

Yeah, and that's one of the things with this car. It was, you know, I graduated high school with

a 1.8 GPA. I worked my way up from the ground up. Then I go to college, got married at 19, put my

life through college. Finally, Steve would made it and bought my dream car that I never thought I

could have and want to pass down my kids and they love it. It looks like a hot wheels quarter then.

But at the same time, the security of a paid for house, no debt. But you've already you're already

on track for that. And if you really needed the money for that car, you could sell it tomorrow.

It's an actual in this case, it is a bit of an asset. Yes or no? Okay. Yes. Okay. So I don't think

you think you're good enough. You know how I know it? You said you said 1.8 GPA. You threw that

out there and it's a little bit of a badge of honor, but it stills got some shame attached to it.

Yes or no? Yes, sir. Okay. So you don't think that you're good enough for that car and you think

you're being irresponsible by having that car. You threw out the $5,000 brakes. Well, two responses

to that. Now I'm going to fight for it. Yeah. Two responses. Number one, you're a guy who's paid off

over six figures in debt twice. That guy can put away a little bit of money each month for car

repairs and you're driving that thing so little, it's going to take twice as long to repair those

brakes as it would if you were driving it every day. True or false? That's true. Yes, sir. Stop

making excuses to buy in to this narrative about yourself that's incorrect. We're talking to a guy

who's very responsible. We're talking to a guy who loves his kids and all he happens to love

a really cool car and I'll bet you don't have many hobbies. No, I work. I come home and fish

kitchen by the corner and that's about it. Then don't sell the car. Don't sell the car.

We've already ruled. Okay. What? There's no more discussion here. Don't, you know,

have all to the table. You and I have had many discussions today, but this brings up another

really good discussion with money. There's something about money that it does. It scratches the

edge of us feeling like, okay, I've done the responsible thing. I've made up for the past. I have,

right? And you're trying to set success there for your family or whatever it may be for you.

The hard thing with money and the thing that we have to remember is it is a moral, like it's just

a tool out there. However, I'm going to say it has a magnetism to it. There's a there's a quality

that it always moves the goal post further and further and it takes us with it and it's like

the goal post goes there and like a magnet we go with it and then it goes there and we go further

and you have to fight really hard to go, well, wait a second before it was a really great win to get

debt free and then we were fine with like, okay, we'll pay out the house that it did that. And then

if you don't fight that, it pulls the joy of you living your life because it pulls the goal post

a little bit further and you're like, ah, I got to do that now. And oh, I got to do it.

And you're stealing your own joy from yourself because you're letting that magnet pull you

further and you have to, you just have to be careful. Don't give, I'm wrong, can I'm all for

success. I'm all for I am a very, I love achieving. So I'm not taking that away from anybody.

But you just have to be careful. Yeah, I agree. And again, you talk a lot about in your in your

last book, the best seller, the emotions of money. And we can't forget that those emotions are

based on experiences in our lives around money. So we didn't we didn't unpack this was Zach,

but I'll guarantee you the same patterns we talked about. I was a 1.8 EPA. I got married at 19.

Here's what I heard. I did things the untraditional way. I did things in a way that no one recommends.

Everybody says go to college. So therefore, he wouldn't have gotten married made. He was playing

out a narrative that said, he was proud of himself and rightfully so, but he did everything the

hard way. Yeah. Yeah. And and not the way that you're supposed to. Right. Right. And so then you also

go, okay, so there's those emotions, which I touched on, but what we don't know is what kind of

background he had. What was the environment like growing up in his house around money? How did

people view money? Did his dad, did he hear his dad go, we'll never own a nice car. And so is

there a level of, and I don't know, I'm I'm projecting, but that's where you talk a lot about

about the emotions around money. We've got to master those. That's right. Yeah. We know this money

touches every area of life. And because of that, when we teach something like the baby steps or

even a really simple thing of saying, Hey, for a little while, you're going to sacrifice short

term for a long term gain, right? You might tell somebody to sell the car. I might tell somebody to,

you know, stop getting your nails done. And it's never just that. It's, how could you tell me,

how could you tell me to sell my car? Don't you know that when I grew up, you know, we only had one

car and I had to walk to school and I didn't have gloves because my, right? And you, we spin out

to whatever we remember. So just remember that money is very emotional. By the way, she goes into

great detail in her best selling book. What no one tells you about money can get it wherever books

are sold. And remember this folks, there's ultimately only one way to financial peace. And that's

to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.

I Have Over $300k Cash Sitting In My House (I'm Scared Of The Stock Market)

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