I'm Upside Down After This Relationship

0:00Thanks for listening to my call of the day brought to by my new sponsor, Chapter. Chapter compares every Medicare plan nationwide helps you find the one that fits. Get your answer with one free call to chapter. Go to AskChapter.org today to get the clarity you deserve. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on SiriusXM Triumph and connect with me 24-7 at Dr.Wara.com. Johnison, welcome to the program. Thank you, Dr. Lohra. I got the guts to call you. So here I am. Oh, good. I'm calling because I was in a five-year relationship with a man that I loved. I thought I was going to be with forever. I mean, still feel that way. But, and it's been about a year and a half since he ended it. And I've spent the last year. He ended it because and to do what? Well, we were together for about two years.

1:03And then I had a work opportunity that required me to be away a lot and in a growing capacity. So, you know, not being around. And then saying I'd be around and trying to juggle it all and make it all happen and broken promises and I'll be home and I'm not. And, you know, after a few years of that, everything just became too much. And I was trying to please everything or thought I could figure out a way to make it balanced and get it under control before I lost it, which I wasn't able to. And so I lost him. And how did the job go? How does a job work out? Well, this is the kind of after he had broken up with me and I was obviously able to really hear things with him. I just made all the changes that I wanted to that I felt like I couldn't before I didn't have the tools or was overwhelmed and I just started doing that.

2:03So, you know, I'm not doing that job anymore. Yeah, I kind of left it all because I realized in losing him, which is one thing I didn't want to lose and really all the other things didn't matter. So I just started to kind of rebuild back up and all the things. So, there was no chance of getting it back together now that you quit the job? No, he had said no. And so I respected that. And so I just spent, you know, we went to a therapy session and they didn't want to do it anymore. And so, you know, I would engage with conversation with him and try to get more understanding from him on what things were and, you know, just to try and understand because I couldn't figure out. I was blindsided by it. And then when he started to open up and share things with me, I just felt so awful on him being

3:05so open and vulnerable on how my actions and everything had made him feel. And to see his point of view of it. And so then I, you know, with the information he gave me, I worked with the therapist, but then, you know, I'd work in ways to show him even if we're not going to get back together. But that I really meant everything I said and how I was acting isn't, you know, really indicative of our relationship. So how could I help you today? So I was going through and taking all these steps along the way that I thought, okay, they would help me be able to, you know, show that this is actually who I am and the stuff that I did say even on the moment I didn't show him. But now that I've shown him, I thought it would almost help me release a bit of it, myself, and be able to move on. No, what it's doing is prepping you to be present in your next relationship

4:08and not consider the other person as an accessory to your life. So all the work you're doing now is for your future, not for him. Okay. Totally not wasted. Okay. And that's for the future, not for him. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. I think, yeah, and what I struggle with, I can, and then I don't know, like, no, this is, I feel guilty because I feel that I'm doing all of you. You should feel guilty. You did, you did a terrible thing to him. You were self-centered and you took him for granted. It's over. You've learned. The whole point really when a relationship is over is that you learn, not just suffer over it, but you learn so that you're ready for a really good relationship.

5:15A mutual one. You're mistaken if you think you do all that and then you win the brass ring. No, you have access to more success in your future, not the brass ring with him. So all the feelings you have about being stupid or whatever, they're accurate, but so what? Don't spend time on them. The whole point is you're supposed to learn and get ready for your next quality relationship. My number 1-800-375-2872. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stores and be sure to share this podcast

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