I've Been Financially Supporting My Boyfriend For Years (He Refuses to Get A Job)

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Normal is broken, common sense is weird, so we're here to help you transform your life

from the Ramsey Network in the Fair Winds.

Credit Union Studio, this is the Ramsey Show.

Alongside George Campbell, I'm Ken Coleman, excited to have you with us.

We have a lovely studio audience today, fantastic looking people, full lobby out there, that's

fun.

The phone number to jump in is AAA8255225, AAA8255225, we'll take your money questions.

Your work questions, they all kind of go together, we start off with Madison and Salt Lake City.

Madison, how can we help today?

Hey there, I've been dealing with some ongoing unemployment in my relationship.

My partner has been unemployed for two and a half years, and most recently, when taking

him through the finances, he kind of shut down, got upset, that I was doing things wrong,

but that he didn't want to get a job because it would not benefit him, I'd misuse it somehow.

I think it's really good.

Hold to the question, did I hear you say he's not been working for two and a half years,

and he said he doesn't want to get a job because it's not beneficial for what, I didn't

catch that last part of that sentence.

Of course, you said you didn't want to get a job because it wouldn't benefit him, I would

just misuse the money somehow.

Oh wow.

Can I ask another question, why are you still in this relationship?

We have children together.

Okay, but you're not married.

Correct.

Okay.

You can have children together and still not have this cohabitation resentment bubbling

up here.

This is a fact.

But we stopped you.

You were about to get to your main question before George and I, because we have lots

of thoughts I can already tell you, what is your question?

So my main question is am I being financially abused, but I want to add a layer to that.

Okay.

So we did invest in an Airbnb, like remodel and rental together, so he spent a lot of

his time over one of those years in reworking that house and getting it running.

So he says that he's working and he's adding value to the relationship through that.

Is the Airbnb actually making money?

We are in our fifth month and it's paying the bills, but it's not turning a profit.

Well, okay.

Do you have any evidence?

Let's say we were in a court of law and I said, give me evidence that your boyfriend

is abusing you financially.

What evidence would you give me?

Maybe just the lack of support and provision.

Yeah.

I don't think you're being abused, but I don't think semantics matter here.

I do think you're being manipulated.

That statement you gave George and I to start off the call where he looked at you with

a straight face, presumably, and said with some sort of conviction that a job would not

benefit him because you would misuse the money is about as he turned it right around to

you.

That's a manipulation I've ever seen.

This guy is an absolutely broken human being and that's not an insult.

That's an actual diagnosis.

I could insult him.

I'm not going to because I don't think it helps you, but he's broken.

He's deeply broken.

He's got to go get some help and you can't give it to him and I think you need some boundaries.

I really do.

I can't continue to support you financially.

We are not going to continue our relationship the way it is now.

If you aren't going to support me and the children, if we aren't going to support these

kids we've made, you're out.

And here's what's easy.

His response will be your decision.

If he takes ownership in action, there's possible hope and repair for this relationship.

If he doesn't, if he plays the blame game, tries to guilt you, if he panics and gets

defensive and makes it your problem, well, then you know.

You've just confirmed all of your suspicions.

Yeah.

Let me flip it if I might, Madison, just for a moment, okay?

Let's say you had a girlfriend that was in this exact situation and she told you over

lunch or coffee.

What was going on?

What would your advice to her be?

Man, it's tough when you look at it from that perspective.

It's definitely shocking.

Like, if it was your friend and they were asking you for help, you'd want them to be treated

better.

Which is why I'm keeping you there.

But what else would you tell her to do?

Counseling.

That's the first thing I would go to.

Not a bad idea.

And what would you tell her to do if the boyfriend or the husband wouldn't go to counseling?

What would you tell her to do?

She doesn't have to live that way.

I 100% believe that biblically men should provide and protect.

And if he's not able to do that, then she's not in the healthy relationship anymore.

Yeah.

And wouldn't you, after you left her, wouldn't you in the car wonder what else is going

on behind the scenes or what might develop long term if he's doing this over money?

What happens when the kids are older and then becomes major decision like?

Wouldn't you think, man, there's a whole lot to this onion.

Would you think something like that?

Yes or no?

Yeah.

It definitely opens up the care worms.

Yeah.

Listen, I hope this works out for you.

Yeah, you are headed towards abuse.

And a professional might call it abuse.

I'm neither one of us are mental health professionals, so I don't want to ever...

You can't diagnose it identically.

Yeah, I don't want to label it that, but you are being manipulated and it's not okay.

And so you need to take action right away.

He needs very clear boundaries that this is not okay.

You don't feel safe and you're not going to do this with the kids.

And it's not a threat, by the way, because I could tell you somebody like this is going to go,

are you threatening me?

And you go, no, because a threat is what a bully does on the playground.

This is not a threat.

This is what's going to happen.

And don't play the game.

Don't get sucked into this.

Because if he says something like that, he's trying to make you feel bad.

No, no, no, no, it's not a threat.

I'm telling you, we can't keep doing this.

And so we go see somebody now.

By the way, I'm the only one working, so I'll pay for it.

But you could also point out to him and all this, and this is where I want to bring

George in really quick, because there's some technical stuff to this that I know you

can put some emotional language around.

They aren't married.

So he has no right to her money.

I want you to bring in the technical aspect, as if you were sitting with this couple going,

hey, pal, Sparky, let me give you some realities.

Well, yeah, this is cohabitation.

And I don't know what the laws are in Utah about what his rights are and what he's protected

and entitled to.

But the longer you enable the irresponsibility, the worse this is going to get.

Because here's what's happened.

Your generosity has replaced his urgency, because if you're hungry and you need to eat

and no one's going to provide it, you go find some food, don't you?

And he has no right to her money, none, correct?

Yeah, I mean, if this was in the court of law, they'd go, all right, there's going to

be, you know, you guys are going to figure out how to cover the children together.

But he's on his own to figure it out.

So one of the things you do right away is we're going to get counseling and we're separating

finances.

If there's anything you're sharing right now, I would stop that immediately so that he

knows you're serious.

And then I would say put up a shut up, not that way.

This is us telling you, but, you know, he needs to go to counseling.

And then we're going to find out from a professional whether or not he's willing to do the work.

This is the ultimate.

I love the advice you gave your friend.

I think you're a good friend, Madison.

I think you got a good head on your shoulders.

And the reason I put you in that little exercise is sometimes it's very hard and I appreciate

you called George and I today, it's hard for us to give our self advice.

But the advice you gave your friend is the advice for yourself.

You know what to do.

So go do it and we're cheering you on.

But this is not just about you anymore, this is about those kiddos.

So take care of you so that you can take care of them.

That's the advice today.

So sorry you're going through this.

This is a reason why, 7,000th reason why, that you need to be married so we've got full

commitment.

We know what we're getting into.

I'm skinning the game here.

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All right, we go to Toronto next, where Kate is waiting for us.

Kate, how can we help today?

Hi, thank you so much for taking my call.

I'm pretty upset right now about the situation that we're going through.

Okay.

Basically, my husband borrowed money off the equity line on our house and put it into

cryptocurrency.

Ouch.

Yeah, I found out about it.

It was not happy and asked him to sell it right away.

How did that go?

Well, he said that he would and assured me that it would be, you know, back in the bank

account by my near Tuesday.

But he was.

You have the flu at the time.

It's not feeling great.

I don't know.

I don't know.

It's homework.

Okay.

Yeah, I don't know.

But in any case, he accidentally pressed the sell short button instead of the sell button

apparently.

And so after like four or five days and it hadn't showed up in the bank account, I asked

him about it.

And then he admitted to me that he accidentally pressed the wrong button and it had all

been liquidated.

And it's gone.

And where did it go?

Apparently, crypto of the account just kept it.

Okay.

So I don't know.

Well, selling short means he borrowed an asset he didn't own and he sold it at the current

price.

And then he becomes obligated to buy it back later, potentially at a higher price.

So this is just gambling in the, you know, market, especially in the crypto world.

It was already speculation.

So it's like double gambling at this point on top of the infidelity that he created by doing

this behind your back.

Right.

So my question is, is there any way to get that money or is it just gone for good?

Well, he'll be obligated to buy it back.

And so I don't think that it's gone forever.

And he needs to do his due diligence to figure out what he needs to do to get the money back.

Yeah, I just do not know the answer because of his, for some selling it short.

Do you got anything on, you got anything on that?

I don't know the ins and outs of what platform he's using in the wallet.

I'm on the phone with customer service, though.

My guess is they got somebody and I'm going, hey, this is what I did.

But let's just pretend the money's gone.

How much money is gone?

Yeah.

Because it's really added to the he lock.

So this debt.

It's about, yeah, $250,000.

Oh, okay.

You buried the lead there, Kate.

Oh, boy.

I need a whole can of thumbs for this one, James.

This is like the whole can down the hatch.

$250,000.

Yes.

Honestly, if James would have let us, we would be patching in this website right now

and helping you out.

God bless you.

You need to be on the phone with them, not us.

There's a lot of light as seven layers to this.

There's so much here.

He's like a degenerate gambler at that point.

If he puts his entire house and family on the block to try to get rich quickly crypto.

Oh.

Yeah.

It's very exciting.

And there's a lot he's not telling you.

I'll tell you that.

Yeah, I don't know what to do.

I'm not saying that he didn't hit a wrong button.

But I'm saying that there's a few steps you have to take to do something that idiotic.

And then saying, oh, he's gone, babe.

I love spicy, George.

I hate to tell you this, Kate.

But I'm with George.

I think this is, you need to go sit with a therapist with me.

You owe me this.

You just, you put $250,000 on the line here.

And I have so many questions.

And I'm with George.

I find it hard to believe he pressed the wrong button.

Now, the reason I give it a chance, George.

And you know this because you're sitting next to the guy who, if someone was going to do that, it's me.

Yeah, you would be liable to fat finger something, but not at $250,000.

I would think I'd slow down long enough to make sure I hit the right button.

Yeah.

But I'm saying there's a chance.

I don't want to call him a liar.

But boy, my, my BS meter is just singing right now.

It's just like, I don't know what's worse.

If he didn't know what he was doing, or if he knew what he was doing, both are frightening scenarios.

And either way, we got to approach it the same way.

Right?

Whether he hit the wrong button in a bonehead move, or he didn't, we still have to solve the problem that he did this without your knowledge.

And he didn't sell it when you're told him to.

There's two major gates of trust that he walked through with him.

And I'm looking this up to try to help you ask the right questions to him.

So here's some questions to ask him to confirm today are all positions closed.

That's number one.

Number two, is there any remaining margin exposure?

Number three, is this 250k a realized loss?

Meaning it actually happens, or some of it still influx.

And then what exactly is owed right now?

Who is the lender?

What's the interest rate?

What are the repayment terms?

What are the risks here?

Can we do this to give you more assurance, Kate?

George, can you get them to Christian?

Yes, we'll email you.

Christian, you can email her this because here's what I actually want Kate to do.

I want Kate to get on the phone with the crypto company.

And he needs to provide you with screenshots of everything he has.

And if he can't do that, I don't know that there's a lot of hope for you too.

Because if he's telling the symptom of something much deeper and darker.

But let's hope Kate, he's telling the truth.

And you can take these questions from George.

You can get them to you and you are getting on the phone now.

You are the private investigator.

And if he's nothing to hide, he's got no problem with this.

But we can get on the phone with this company.

Hey, my husband says he hit the sell short button.

I got some questions.

Okay.

It's the best we can do.

Okay.

But this is a relationship problem, not a crypto problem.

Yeah.

Are you guys doing well financially otherwise?

Yes.

Yeah, we are.

What's your household income?

He brings in about 300,000 a year.

Okay.

And are you working outside the home?

Not currently.

No, I used to work as a nurse, but I've been staying home with the kids.

All right.

And how much debt do you guys currently have?

Well, that's the other thing that we don't agree on.

We have a lot of debt.

We have six different properties for which are rental properties,

one is the vacation house, and then we still have a mortgage on our own house.

Okay.

And even though he makes good money, it's just all going to pay these mortgages every month.

Well, here's the fun homework he gets to do as a way to rebuild some trust.

He's going to start selling off these properties like hotcakes to pay off all of this debt.

Yeah.

Now.

Well, that's my other question.

That's like a now thing.

Is that the best thing to do?

Because he's wanting to like peak money out of one of his retirements accounts.

No, this guy should not be taking money out of anywhere.

I don't know who's paying him $300,000.

I wouldn't hire this guy to flip a burger at this point.

He's like a reckless gambler with you all's money.

Yeah, he needs to go to gamblers anonymous because every single thing he's doing is going,

what other shortcut can I take that will put my entire family at risk?

It's really true, George.

You know, Kate, here's what's going on.

And I think you got to bring this up to him.

And certainly with a therapist in the room is what I'm going to suggest here.

But George, here's what I'm seeing.

This is a guy who's actually making really good money.

$300,000.

So this is a guy that at some point has gone out and created a professional amount of credibility.

And he's getting paid well and can become wealthy off of 300,000 without taking any interest.

He wants to get rich quick.

I think you nailed it.

And I mean this, Kate, and I'm not beating up on him.

I'm saying, he's got something in him that a professional can identify to go,

why is a guy with $300,000 taking big bets?

Saying this isn't enough.

I need more and I need it now.

Six properties is massive exposure, massive risk.

So yes, back to your question that you asked, George, I'm jumping in here to say,

yes, it's the right move because theoretically you have some equity in those.

And if you don't have any equity, at least we get rid of the risk and lower the mortgage.

Get that out of your life.

Because now we have a $250,000 debt we didn't have a week ago or whatever it is.

So yes, it's the right strategy.

Sell every one of them until this guy gets healed from this appetite for the home run.

There's an addiction here that scares me.

And there's three stages of wealth building, Kate, and it's fear, greed, and pride.

It sounds like he's got one or all of the above here that's behind all of this.

And he needs to come out clean and let it all out into the light to disinfect this entire situation.

Kate, hang on the line.

George is going to give you that awesome research.

Christian is going to make sure you have it so that you can do your own research and hope this works out.

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All right, JD's up next in Las Vegas, JD, how can we help today?

Hey, can you hear me?

I can hear you well.

What's going on?

Oh, not much.

So I just, I just started listening to the show yesterday.

And the situation I'm in, I just feel really stuck and I don't even know where to begin.

Okay.

What is making you feel stuck?

I guess I just have a lot of payments that I am responsible for.

And yeah, I owe $31,000.

The 28% loan on a $25,000 truck.

That was $16,000 on a RV that's worth maybe seven.

I'm willing to sell all this stuff, but I wouldn't be able to get a personal loan to make up the difference.

Okay.

Well, here's the good news.

You came to the right place.

George is going to walk you through this, but you need to have this mindset as he walks you through this.

You're actually not stuck.

You're not stuck.

You're just in a really rotten place that you put yourself in.

And you got into it way easier than it's going to be to get out.

But you're not stuck.

You got to hold on to that.

You got me?

I got you.

All right, George, prove it to him.

How does he get unstuck in his mind?

Well, let's look at the math of this and then figure out, you know, the easiest way out.

Because you might be a solvable problem with your current money or it might need to go, you know, sell a bunch of stuff and go get three more jobs.

So tell us about your financial picture.

How much are you making right now?

I'm making between 60 and 80,000 a year.

I'm picking home about 44.

Well, maybe a little less.

It kind of fluctuates.

4400 every month.

What do you do for living?

I drive truck.

And what is your rent?

So my mom owns the house and the mortgage payment is 850 and I give her 900.

And I'm also responsible for the water bill.

Okay.

It's a very reasonable rent as far as your income goes.

I see on the screen here.

It says you're behind on the rent.

Why is that?

I think just, you know, just one thing after another, you know, I pay one month's rent and then by the time I pay it, it's, you know, another month to do immediately.

And I just feel like I can't get caught up.

No, where's the other $3600 going?

That isn't rent.

$900 for that truck payment that I mentioned and then, you know, like $500 for insurance, which is a little ridiculous.

All right.

So we'll clear $1400 just getting rid of this truck.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Ideally, that's what I want to do.

I tried to refinance it.

Couldn't do that.

And I won't be able to sell it because I, and I don't have six grand to pay off the difference.

You don't right now, but you could.

And I think that's the move.

Was this a trade in or did you find the private party value?

The private party value is about 25,000.

Okay.

And you're saying, what do you owe on it that you owe like 31?

You said 31 and change, yeah.

And then what was the other debt?

RV that I owe 16,000 and change.

And what's that worth?

Maybe seven or 8,000 and then I have $3,500 and credit card debt.

But to George's question, I mean, you're also spending freely outside of some of these big payments, too, aren't you?

Yes and no.

I mean, I prioritize, you know, just keeping that house payment made the bills or behind on bills.

So, you know, I pay what I can on the bills and then, and then they're due again.

But yeah, I feel like I could settle down a little bit on my finances.

Do you save any money?

What was the last time in a month you saved something?

Yeah.

And are you open road?

Like, what's your truck driving schedule?

I'm home every day.

I start in the morning and I get off on the mid afternoon.

Okay.

And, oh, okay.

And mom owns the house and you're just paying her rent.

She, she has a mortgage on the house and the mortgage payment is 850 and I'm just covering that.

Okay.

And she's not covering and she's not able to work.

She's not because you said we are behind on the bills.

I thought I heard.

Me and my fiance.

Oh.

So you and your fiance are living with your mom?

No.

No.

She, my mom lives somewhere else.

My mom just inherited the house.

But is the fiance living in the same house?

No.

Okay.

So you live in this house by yourself?

Oh, yeah.

Just with my fiance.

I just asked you if you live with your fiance and you said no.

Oh, sorry.

I thought you were asking if I live with my mother.

I apologize.

No.

I did, but we cleared that one now.

Okay.

So what does the fiance do for a living?

She's a CNA.

She, uh, she brings in about 2000 a month.

Is she part time?

She helps.

Um, it's technically full time.

It's three days a week.

Um, three on four off.

Can she work more?

Um, well, it sounds like she's not paying rent at all.

Why isn't she?

I mean, she's paying any of the housing costs if she's living there?

Uh, when I need help with, uh, you do need help.

You, this is 900 dollars.

Okay.

All right.

So she can, uh, she has a car payment herself.

Oh my gosh.

She's also working on paying off medical bills.

Okay.

All right.

So we've, we've done enough diagnosis here.

JD, you have never even sniffed a budget.

And even if you sniffed a budget,

I don't know that you have the behavioral discipline at this stage

to actually honor the budget.

So you call it asking for help, right?

Yes.

What do I do, Ken and George, right?

That's correct.

All right.

Here's what you do.

You have got to start being disciplined.

You're just spending money like a billionaire

and, and you don't have anything.

And so you actually can't get out of this.

All right, George.

You've heard all the facts.

All right.

Give him the tactical.

What does he need to do today?

So the baby steps are in this order.

Baby step $1,000 starter emergency fund.

Do you have $1,000 to your name right now?

Across your bank account.

Uh, no sir.

Okay.

That is your first goal.

Which means the next paycheck that comes in,

you are putting that aside.

And you're going to cover your four walls.

And if that's all you can cover, that's okay.

Because so far we're behind on the rent,

but we're trying to make the debt payments.

We've got to cover our four walls first.

Now this is to mom.

So now mom is mom paying the mortgage,

even though you're not paying her.

Because you said you're behind on rent,

but that's really mom's mortgage.

Well, no, she's not paying it.

It's just not getting paid when I don't spend her money.

The mortgage is not getting paid at all.

Yeah.

So you could get four closed on.

Um, we haven't gotten to that point yet.

We're worth.

That's where it's headed.

I mean, that's what happens to me.

Stop paying your mortgage.

So your fiance needs to start paying $450.

We're splitting this because we're not married.

But she needs to be working 40 hours a week.

If she's living there, she's paying half the rent.

Until you learn how to do it on your own.

Okay.

And so we need to come up with six grand after that to clear this truck.

So you get a thousand bucks in the bank,

and then you're going to keep living on rice and beans.

You're not doing jack squat when you're not working.

And you're going to be working a lot.

Can you do overtime?

Um, I don't really have that often.

No, no, three other jobs then.

You get off in the afternoon.

You already let me know that.

So now you're not getting off of the truck situation.

You're moving into the next job.

You need money.

You need to work really hard.

So this is painful for you.

Do you need a car right now to get from A to B?

Or can you just drive the truck?

I, I, I have the daily commute to work.

Can you, can the girlfriend give you a say not take you?

She's got plenty of time.

No, she works 60 and the six AM.

I worked about four AM to, to about four PM.

Okay.

Well, you're going to have to figure out a transportation situation out.

Because if you can clear this truck,

you can breathe again.

You're in bicycle too.

And so that $6,000 is your focus after this thousand bucks is saved for your small emergency fund.

But that's your key to getting out of this.

And so far, it's just, well, can't do that because of this underwater on this.

You're going to need to get more money and spend less.

And if I looked at your bank statement, I could probably find 48 ways to do it.

So hang on the line.

We're going to gift you every dollar our budgeting app.

It's going to be a coach in your pocket like us, but less yelling and more recommendations

for how to find that margin.

I'm rooting for you, man.

Well, we, we love you.

That's why we are yelling.

It's out of love.

I'm not yelling.

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All right, let's go to John and Pittsburgh.

John, how can we help?

Gentlemen, how are you today?

Doing great.

What's going on with you?

I'm loving the fact that Ken called you spicy George first off.

Thank you.

I appreciate it.

And a word of warning to you, John.

He sees a little frisky today.

He walked in before the show started.

I knew he was a man on a mission.

So careful with George today.

I will have it in no other way.

Okay.

Great.

So to get to my question, I'm in the process of selling my house and I'll be getting roughly $130,000, $35,000 from that.

I just want to see if I'm planning it right.

This will put me in the baby step seven.

And my girlfriend and I, we have plans to get married potentially looking at rings and trying to see what the best option would be with that money.

Yeah.

My plan is, and just looking for some feedback.

Thank you.

Feedback on you from you guys.

I'm looking to have 100,000 of that maybe in a high old savings account, maybe investing.

That's all I'm asking feedback from you.

We're looking to potentially once we're married and buying a house in it.

No less than four years when she can retire and, and we'll end up buying something again once we're married.

So I'm thinking to put in 100 in it, high yield savings or something else you may recommend.

Black four to five years.

And then the rest just a couple about five grand and emergency fund.

So money into the ring and maybe vacation like a random cruise or something.

And then another 20 for a just in case car fund.

I have a 2010 Toyota Highlander with almost 200,000 miles.

And I love it.

I just want to see how far it goes, but one also be prepared.

Okay.

Any suggestions you might have on what to do, what not to do, right track, etc.

Yeah.

Well, I'm curious.

How old are you two?

Because you're talking about her retiring.

In her job, she can retire at 50.

She's 46 and I'm 49.

Okay.

So her plan to retire at 50 and not work anymore.

Not work at that job.

And then that job will afford us the opportunity to be able to move to a different state.

And that's our goal.

Does she have a penchant or something with some guaranteed income?

Yeah.

She's also going to do some work that you'll notice likely be in a different state.

Yeah.

And you're not getting married.

Winner, are you getting married?

You're not until she retires or I couldn't understand that.

No, that would be prior to that.

We started conversations about that.

We looked at rings a couple weeks ago.

So that would happen.

I'm most likely I'm sure prior to all.

And then just one follow it for me.

You said put 5,000 in an emergency fund.

But you said that this is going to put you in baby steps seven.

So presumably you have a full emergency fund in baby step three.

Correct?

Yes.

I have 15,000.

I'd like to bump it up to 20.

Okay.

So I see what you're doing there.

Okay.

So 20 total.

So baby step seven will be a paid for house.

So right now you would kind of be going back to this kind of four or five six land until we get the house paid off.

So that would be your next goal.

Is to kind of your mark as much of this as you can for that future down payment.

Now if it's going to be guaranteed, hey, this is five plus years out.

You could invest the money in, you know, index funds in a brokerage account.

My gut says you guys will want a place of your own once you're married before that.

Even before she's retired.

That's a possibility.

We don't know, you know, it's kind of in that middle zone where it may be too long to rent.

Yeah.

But would we recoup the money if we buy something?

Would you recoup the money if you bought something and sold it and then bought another one?

Well, because remember, they're going to move to another state.

Yeah.

Well, if you're going to have the house for at least a few years, it could be a good buy.

But it may just be worth renting for the peace of mind knowing this is very temporary.

Yeah.

And that's that's where we are.

We're not really sure if it is.

Yeah.

Is that where you're going?

You just sold your house or you will.

Yep.

Are you going to live with her in her apartment or house or that she's renting?

What was she?

She owns the house as well.

I'm living here now.

And then she may or may not sell her house here shortly.

Depending on what you're going to do.

And that's where we're thinking, well, would we go in and buy a house?

Obviously, we're not going to do it under both names unless we're until we're married.

But would we buy another house?

I mean, I would just live with her once you guys are married.

That's the easier solution.

Yeah.

Instead of just renting, at least you're building some equity while you two are married.

And then you can sell it once you're ready to retire and move elsewhere.

So yeah, I like the idea of parking in a high-yield savings account because there's a lot of unknowns right now.

And we might need this money sooner and earmark that for your house down payment.

If you don't have a good one, Fairwinds is an awesome partner of ours.

And they've got a great high-yield savings product.

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That includes that.

I like a $20,000 emergency fund.

I like having this car fund set aside knowing you're going to do this and you're going to pay cash.

So let's not make it a surprise when it happens.

And then Ring is definitely the next step.

You don't have to go crazy.

What are you thinking about spending on?

I knew you were going to get nosy about this.

Well, people, I just...

America wants to know.

It's his business.

It's his money.

Do I tell America how much I'm spending on a ring?

I think it's a fair question.

You've told us pretty much everything else.

You've told us everything else.

Go ahead.

What are you thinking?

I'm thinking in the $5,000 ring somewhere.

Great.

Oh, George is so happy.

I don't know.

So it could be a little more.

It could be a little less.

What does that get you?

What does that get you these days?

What does $5,000 get you?

Oh, wife, if she says yes.

Hopefully.

Hopefully something better than some of the rare islands of Zirconia.

That's for sure.

I don't think you know.

I don't think you actually know.

You don't know, do you?

I have a little bit of an idea.

I have a friend who's a diamond wholesaler.

Oh, he's going to get a 60.

Dan also says we can always upgrade.

We've already talked.

Besides what we're looking at.

Okay.

So this is serious.

Okay.

Well, this is great news because you're saying that you have a good idea

that the $5,000 is going to make her happy.

You're will.

Oh, there you go.

You should work it.

All right.

All right.

Then I like your plan, John.

I think you're thinking through this wisely.

There's just a lot of variables right now.

And so that's my hesitation to put this in the market.

I'm not knowing what's going to happen.

I mean, you've seen the headlines just this week.

And everyone's getting spooked.

And they're selling off.

And now it's back up to record highs.

And so I think because of that, your heart rate will stay smooth.

If you just put it in a high yield savings account for now,

you'll get, you know, over 3% on your 100 grand, which isn't bad.

Great unintentional segue, George.

Tell me more.

Well, we were just talking off the air about the crypto roller coaster.

I feel like we need a little update.

You have been very public.

We as a show have been public about crypto and the risks.

And we've seen it go down tremendously over the last 72 hours.

It looks like it may be stabilizing a little bit today,

but who knows what say you, George?

Yes, sir.

This is your chance to crow a little bit.

Well, I'm not here to say the I told you so, because I know that.

Well, that's not exciting.

I think there are two ways to hear this.

I'm not going to do it, even though I did tell you so.

But here's the thing you got to understand.

Bitcoin went over $100,000 and everyone's going, see,

you ramsy guys, you missed out, you told people not to,

and people were reaching out to me on social, saying,

yeah, you can Coleman and Dave Ramsey, you guys don't have a clue.

Yeah.

And then it was at 82.

And then all of a sudden, it was down to $60,000 for a Bitcoin.

Yes, sir.

And now it's back up to 70.

Yeah.

And who knows where it's going to go from here?

Nobody knows.

All I know is this.

The stock market, the S&P 500,

is 500 actual companies producing real products and services

that have real revenue and their shareholders

that are trying to increase the value.

That's what we're all rooting for.

And Bitcoin has no true utility.

It's not really based on anything except hype.

And us saying, this is the future.

So we should all put our money there.

And then you get a bunch of bros who get spooked

and they start selling it off like hotcakes,

tanking the value.

And this is the problem with speculation.

You know, you place the bet,

and it's the roulette table.

And so it's the reason I don't own any Bitcoin

because I'm already an anxious guy.

Don't need to add to it.

You don't need anymore.

I'm good with the S&P 500,

average 10% return over the long haul.

I do the get-rich slow plan.

So what you're telling me is this was not shocking.

These were not shocking headlines.

When we saw crypto on fire.

No.

I kind of knew eventually this was going to happen.

And maybe it's going to go back up and be a million dollars one day.

I don't know the future.

All I know is I can control what I can control.

And that's investing slowly, wisely.

Wealthgain hastily will dwindle.

But those who gather a little by little will increase it.

That's what proverb says.

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Welcome back to the ramsy show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio.

I'm Ken Coleman joined by George Campbell.

We're here to help you out.

You got money questions.

You got professional money making questions.

Those work questions were here to help on those as well.

Triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five is the number.

Triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.

All right.

Boy, this here we go.

In my hooked on phonics, I always enjoy these.

Alita, I believe is who we're going to in Fayetteville, Arkansas.

Tell me I'm right. Alita, please.

You are right.

Hey.

Hey.

You bet, but no more mister.

It makes us feel old.

It's we won't allow it.

Yeah, Ken's already old.

I need a reminder.

Well, old compared to you.

Compared to most people.

That's right.

All right, Alita.

How can we help?

So I've had trouble finding a job in the last 10 years.

Ken, I've been looking into your work.

And I started your book, The Proximity Principle.

And I realize I've been playing the slot machine a lot.

But I have a lot of skills in events.

And then in 2018, I was certified as a butler.

Hoping that would make me specialized to get a job.

And I just feel like I am running on the wheel to nowhere.

What are you doing right now for a living?

So I am a Canadian who is currently in the state.

So I have talked to so many different places at place butlers.

And a lot of them in the states are saying,

you need your green cards.

We can help you with the immigration side.

Oh, so you don't you don't have your green card.

I don't.

And even in Canada.

Yeah.

The biggest okay as well in the cost of living is ridiculous.

So I'm like, well, let's do the states.

And it's their opportunities.

Okay.

So even though you have got the certification as a butler.

And that's what you really want to do to be a butler.

Yes.

A personal assistant executive assistant up in that field.

Okay. Well, those are two different things.

And I must tell you, did you ever watch Downton Abbey?

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Love the butler.

All right.

So when you say butler, that's what I'm thinking.

Now I want to make sure I'm on the same wavelength.

Is that what you're talking about?

Correct.

So very well.

So very well.

Now a day.

Go ahead.

The butlers nowadays tend to do multiple things.

So they could be your personal assistant.

And also take care of things around the house or organize the staff.

Okay.

Okay.

And the reason I'm asking that is because that tells me there's a wide range of people.

There are certain people that would pay for a personal assistant,

but would not pay for a butler.

Correct.

Correct.

Yes.

Okay.

And you're a comedian, which is fascinating to me.

So I got to do some real digging here.

How much are you making on average per month as a comedian, a working comedian?

I'm actually not a comedian.

I'm a comedian.

Good grief.

I heard comedian too.

You do it.

Wow.

I'd love to hear some material.

Okay.

You're Canadian.

I'm so glad because I thought here come the old man jokes from George, but you heard the same thing.

Yeah.

I thought it was like you're trying to be a comedian, but you're looking for a legit, you know, book or job right now.

Got it.

Okay.

Okay.

So one of my wife's dear friends, one of her closest friends, is a Canadian as well.

And she's quite funny just in case anybody wants to know.

But she's a Canadian.

And she's had so many issues with work visas.

So are you telling me that you cannot be a butler or a personal assistant until you get a green card?

Correct.

Now, if you get in the right circles, they have the money that sometimes they can move that process along.

So I was hoping that might be the case.

Okay.

But what can you do given the fact that you do not have your green card?

So I'm working to finish off.

So I should agree I was able to take a year off to work here in the States.

So that's why I'm in Arkansas.

And then this fall, I go back to finish off the bachelor.

Right.

But what have you been doing for a living?

What are you doing now for pay?

So I am an office assistant.

A, well, I work in a hanger for a company that fixes airplanes and helicopters.

And there's no issue with, I guess you're here on a work visa?

Correct.

Yeah.

You can do a work visa and I specialize in business is what I figured I would take to encompass my event.

I love doing events and banquets and then the butlers.

So I decided to go for a business major.

Okay.

All right.

So a lot going on here.

So my advice is somewhat limited if if there are limited things that we can do.

So it looks like you can do what you're doing now.

A one is to get the green card.

That's the priority while we're doing these other jobs and sounds like you've done this.

But you're not a typical person who calls me and says, can I'm having a hard time getting a job?

You have a limited scope.

But the question is, could you be it?

Go ahead.

Yeah.

The question for you is because you say it's not what you know.

It's who you know.

100%.

100%.

But that's assuming you have the legal ability to work too.

And so there's a different issue here as a prerequisite, which is they can't hire you.

And I truly don't think any even a high net worth household is going to go, you know what?

We just like you so much.

We're going to go through all of this hassle pay extra hope that months and months of immigration lawyers can solve this.

I just don't think they're they're going to deal with that.

I agree.

They're looking to have to deal with less things.

That's why they're hiring you.

Right.

So.

And it is a challenge for sure.

And the guy I'm working for currently, he told me, nope, let's go for your green card,

which was a 24 month defeat.

We're in the month 19 and he hasn't even started.

Right.

So last guy, he's like, let's do it six months later.

He's like, I can't do it.

Okay.

You just gave anecdotal evidence to George's opinion.

So George is right.

So here's the deal.

The question is, you love producing live events, the idea of working on live events.

You mentioned that multiple times.

It feels like the executive assistant stuff is kind of down the list a little bit.

But you're a person who loves tasks.

You like ideation, making the idea a reality.

Sound right?

Yes or no?

Yeah.

Okay.

So here's the deal.

The question is, does the green card prohibit you from doing that type of work?

For instance, Ramsey Solutions has, I don't know, five, six, seven event producers that are full-time employees here.

Right.

Yeah.

You know, could you be an executive assistant without a green card?

You know, I've told you many times, Belay is a company that has sponsored Ramsey live events.

Entry leadership.

They're based out of Atlanta, but they're hiring people like you all around the country as virtual executive assistants.

Okay.

You know, if I'm sitting with you today in Arkansas, I'm going, tell me the top five event companies,

or companies that are putting on some type of corporate event, or civic events, or who's doing what you want to do in your area.

And that's where we start.

Right.

Have you made that list?

I've written down a few of them, like some of them are hotels.

I did put my name into the White House.

I haven't been called yet.

So we're waiting on that one.

No, but that's the lottery that you mentioned.

That's exactly what you heard me write about in approximately five.

So I'm saying, no, who are the top five event producers?

What venues have the most amount of events in Fayetteville, Arkansas?

That's where we start.

And then we ask the next question, who do I know that works at one of those five places?

This is like a little Excel spreadsheet, or you can do it on a piece of paper if you're old school like me.

Right.

So we start writing it out.

We go, oh, I know Lynn, who works over there.

So I call Lynn up.

I go, Lynn.

Here's my situation.

First of all, what's going on over there?

What positions do they have?

So we get it direct from Lynn.

We're not going through a website and filling out an application that might as well be spitting in the wind,

riding down in a convertible on the interstate.

It's just, nothing's happening.

Okay.

So let's just methodically go through what I write about in the proxy.

How many principles?

This is not difficult to do, actually.

Just going to show up.

Okay.

And the old match game, when you played when you were a kid, we're just going to keep this exercise up.

And if it's nothing in favor, we start looking outside of faithful.

The other thing you might want to do is just get serious about maybe, maybe relationship.

George, that's how you get there.

That's one way to do it.

One way.

I love entrepreneurs.

Don't forget, guys, I started my company on a card table myself.

So I know what it's like to have people counting on you, your team, your family, not to mention your customers.

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All right, let's go to Rachel in New York City.

Rachel, how can we help?

Hi, Ken and George.

Thank you for having me on.

My husband and I, we've been talking about having a second child.

I want to know, how can we balance financial readiness, mental health, and lifestyle priorities when deciding to have another baby?

Okay, that's a very interesting list.

Did I hear, run through this again, because I heard commas between all of those.

Is that fair?

Yes.

Okay, so what was the first one?

Was it financial readiness?

Financial readiness.

Mental health.

Mental health, and the third is lifestyle priorities.

And that's all in context of how to balance those things when deciding to have another child?

Yes.

So, you have a child now, so you know a lot of that is out the window.

Well, well, the mental health is not.

The financial readiness, I mean, George is not sure you could have mental health.

The financial readiness is the one that I can help you control.

Your lifestyle, I don't have a life.

I go home and I'm in dad mode until, you know, I go to bed.

And so, that's my question, Mark, is what are your lifestyle priorities?

Sure.

So, yeah, so we had our first child in 2022.

She'll be training to this May.

I unfortunately did suffer from terrible postpartum depression.

I'm only just recently, you know, starting to feel like myself again.

Oh, yeah, it can take a long, long time.

That's tough.

Yeah.

In terms of finances, end of 2025, my husband and I, we've made $225,000 growth.

Our average pay-home pay is about 10,000 a month.

With just one child, we are living comfortably.

At the end of the month, we're usually left over with a little over $600 and excess

that we're currently putting towards retirement in addition to what we're already contributing.

Part of me is nervous to go through postpartum again.

But I know I'm just going to miss the financial flexibility that we currently have.

Well, where, you said you're investing.

How much are you currently investing as a percentage of your income?

I do think it's a little more than the 15% that you guys recommend.

My husband, he gets about $400 or $500 taken out of his paycheck automatically in a $457.

Okay.

And that's dependent on his income because he does, he has overtime.

Got it.

So his income fluctuates.

Do you guys have any debt?

No, we're debt free.

Oh, that's fantastic.

And you've got savings?

We got savings, yes.

The financial readiness is there.

That's why I was going to dig in.

So my concern about the financial readiness is when we have to expand, let's say, our current

living situation.

So we live in a two bedroom right now in New York City.

If, of course, if we have a second and the second, the same gender as our first,

I don't mind staying in the two bedroom, but eventually when we have to upgrade to three,

that's where I'm a little concerned.

We're lucky that our rent is currently pretty low.

What is it?

I'm curious in New York City.

1600, four, three, two.

Wow.

Why the, I have two boys and a girl.

So why the, why the need, if it's a different sex to have different rooms?

There are still babies for a while.

I mean, in the beginning, yes, I agree that the share room, but eventually when we need to move out.

How many years would that be?

That could be three years from now.

Right.

See, that's why I'm asking you that.

Like, what's your, and I'm not, I'm not trying to talk you out of your decision.

I'm just saying, how many years before you think you would need to have them in separate rooms?

No, the three year mark would probably be where I'm thinking.

Great.

So again, cross that bridge.

Let me get there.

Yeah.

And then what financial gains are you going to make over that time?

Okay.

My question is more on the health side of things.

And I just don't know enough.

So is it, is it, is it, how much of it is chemical?

In other words, I just don't know enough.

So it's, it may sound silly, but the postpartum, how much of that is chemical in the body versus, is it all mental and emotional?

And did you get the tools, you know, to recover to where you feel like, does your, do you have a health, a mental health professional who's guiding you through this and giving you advice on this?

That's something I would want to know.

Yeah.

So I actually didn't get any sort of help when I was going through postpartum depression.

Yeah.

I was kind of just doing everything on my own.

So I'll prioritize that this time, right?

Now that you know, you're going to go, we're going to do all the things we can do.

And we're going to shift our money towards making sure that we have the help that you need.

Yeah.

That would be the conversation at Rachel in our house.

I'm hearing the emotion in you.

You worked.

You struggled.

And you just now came up for air recently, right?

I did.

Oh, listen, can I just tell you, I think before I would decide to, to have another child,

I would go talk to a mental health professional and your doctor and go, hey, what are the chances

that with baby number two that I have a similar experience?

I just don't know the answer.

And I think you need to know the answer.

The second thing I would ask is, is it something we can treat with medicine?

How much of this is chemical where medicine can deal with that?

Or how much of it is is I need a really good therapist that if I go through this,

that I've got a therapist ahead of time, giving me some tools and helping me with this.

And someone who's going to walk through it with me this time and not go by myself.

If I were your brother, I would say, hey, Rachel, do this before you guys make the decision

to start trying again.

Okay.

Because you don't need to do this alone.

So you obviously, your heart wants a baby, but you're really sitting here right now.

And by the way, I don't blame you.

You have real questions about whether or not you could do it again, yeah?

Yeah.

Okay then.

So I think George has done a great job of saying financially you guys are fine,

but I think the real crux of this question is, hey, you are amazing.

You're super woman that you did this without medical help, right?

Yeah.

I don't know how I did.

I don't know either.

I don't know either because I can't even begin to understand what it does.

And there's millions of women that are listening to this right now.

They're nodding their head going, I see you, girl.

They see you.

They've been through it.

We have no clue, but I do know this.

It's not just for you, but you are first and foremost that you take care of yourself,

because you know how that's affecting your baby, how it's affecting your husband.

And so it's about you first, but then it's also about them.

So in making a decision like this, you got to go in fully equipped this time.

And my hope is that it doesn't happen at all, but I just don't know what the medical

percentages are.

I think you need to know, don't you?

Yeah.

As you talk to us today, you're not fully equipped.

So you can't make a decision on that.

Now, George, you know, he's like, hey, financially you guys are fine.

But the rest of this is really predicated on you and your past experience and what professionals

can do to help you.

So hey, you got some appointments to make, don't you?

Yeah.

You know what?

I think there's some community groups probably in New York of women that are struggling with

it now or have gone through it and you just came out of it.

How about getting involved in one of those?

Yeah.

That was like an idea.

Come on.

Yeah.

Okay.

I imagine, I mean, just raising a baby in New York is already tough enough.

Sure.

And so you guys are doing a great job, you have an amazing income, you've stayed out of

debt, you've got low rent, which means you have flexibility in your expenses.

You talked about lifestyle priorities.

There's, you know, six, seven, eight grand here that we can play with and, you know, do

what you need to do.

Take care of yourself.

But I think there's wiggle room here as well.

Well, I don't think you're going to go.

We're so tight every single month.

Rachel, I want to hear what George just said, George, you're right.

You've got money to spend on a therapist or a doctor to help figure this out.

Okay.

All right.

You're amazing.

Thank you guys.

You're amazing.

But no more, no more white knuckling through this.

All right.

Okay.

All right, Rachel.

That's really sweet.

What a sweet, sweet lady.

This is real Ken.

That's, that's real talk.

And, you know, my, my wife can attest, she'd be amenning right now if she was listening

to that call.

And you got to take care of your health first.

And that's why doing the baby steps, having financial peace, allows you the flexibility to

focus on your own health.

Yeah.

It's hard to do that when you got payments to make.

Yeah.

You can't afford the facial worth 300,000 in debt.

She's got margin to go take care of herself, which is going to allow them to expand their

family and be healthy doing it.

Oh, she can be more present as well.

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Today's question comes from Brody in Washington, DC.

While I would like to pay off my student loans, I'm not sure it makes the most sense financially.

They are currently at 2.6% interest and even a monkey can make more by investing rather

than paying this off.

I owe almost $100,000 on my medical degree debt.

I make more than enough to pay it off, but I think it may not be wise to use my money

to pay this off with such a low rate.

This is classic.

Well, you know what a monkey can do?

Go $100,000 into student loan debt.

So there's a story.

We can't be comparing ourselves to monkeys.

Yeah, like take it easy on the monkeys.

All monkeys are debt free.

We'll start there.

To your question, I get it.

On paper, anything with a low interest rate, you could make the case,

well, I could make more by doing XYZ with it.

But you're not thinking about a few things.

Number one is risk.

We don't know that you will stay employed and have the money to pay this off.

We also know that student loans are largely not even bank-ruptible,

thanks to student loan lobbyists keeping it that way.

And the other thing you got to think about is there's still a payment to be made.

This is still looming in your life as long as it's there.

It's living rent free in your head,

you emailed in to get the question answered.

And so the truth is, you took this debt out,

saying, I will pay this back.

And you can drag it out as long as you want, truthfully.

You can do that and you'll probably still live to tell the tale.

But I think you will live a more peaceful life and you build more wealth

if you just went ahead and knocked it out.

And not just slowly.

I'm talking aggressively,

because you hopefully are a doctor or in residency.

I don't know where you're at in the journey,

but you said you have more than enough to pay it off, so pay it off.

Because on a balance sheet, you don't actually have that money, right?

If you have 200,000 in debt and you have 100,000 in savings,

you're still in the negative.

And so get rid of the debt.

Love it, my take.

I love it.

I'm not going to add anything to it.

That was so airtight.

Gregory's up in Lincoln, Nebraska.

Gregory, how can we help today?

Oh, yes.

So I am currently on big step two and about to start side gig work.

My question is to, should I be insured with my side gig?

Tell us about the side gig.

So I have multiple trade skills.

I work in the trades.

Currently I'm a diesel technician, like my job and everything.

But my other skill sets lie in like welding and stuff.

So I was thinking about starting a mobile welding side gig

and in my area at the ag.

I know a lot of farmers that could use repairs and everything.

Yeah, I would definitely get insurance.

General liability insurance for sure.

OK, general liability.

OK.

I mean, this is a high risk gig.

A spark could cause a fire after you leave, right?

That could be a problem.

Properties damaged, especially if you're mobile.

You're on other people's property.

And someone could just say, hey, I'm

suing this guy because he ruined my driveway while he was welding.

And so you definitely need the general liability insurance

and maybe professional liability as well.

OK, is that even without, like, do I

need to have a business like licensing everything?

I would be, you know, licensed and bonded.

I would go full.

I mean, if you're going to be doing this, you got to do it right.

OK.

Like, I don't want this to be like my main job.

That's OK.

It doesn't have to be.

But I would not tie all this to your personal life.

I would have, you know, set up whatever you need to.

I don't know what it is for your situation in your state.

I would look into that of what the proper setup is.

If it's an LLC, have a business checking account,

it'd be wise to do that as you get this set up.

So that the business, you're at least

you have more protections in place.

If this is through a legitimate business,

with legitimate insurance, OK.

I wouldn't do it.

I wouldn't skip it to save money.

And I don't think it's going to be that expensive either.

So I wouldn't worry about that.

Yeah, what do you think?

Yeah, I was just wondering, go ahead.

No, no, you go ahead.

I was just wondering, just because I don't know.

My wife was wanting me to maybe start a business.

But then I'm like, well, it's a side gig.

I wanted to start a landscaping business

if I'm going like mowing yards.

So I was just, I don't know.

Why does your wife want you to start a business?

No, it's not necessarily start a business.

But if I'm all in doing it, I have a good job

with pulling a room for advancement.

It's just like instead of like one little side gig doing

whatever, I can potentially make more.

So what's the why behind all of this?

Getting out dead.

OK, great.

Now we have a why.

We have a reason to go do this.

That's good.

And then it becomes the how now.

And the how is, all right, I got to set up the LLC.

I'm going to start that.

You don't need to go crazy.

But you just need a few protections in place

so that this doesn't reach into your personal life.

Yeah.

Yeah, this is not a lot of money we're talking about.

It's a little bit of time, but again,

it's more protection so that you can, with peace of mind,

go do the welding, you know?

OK.

So it doesn't have to be this full blown.

I have to commit to a P&L statement.

No, you keep it simple and just go, you know,

I'm going to see if I can get five to 10 welding jobs in a month.

Or whatever it is you're trying to do, that's the idea.

But this is all about just making sure

that if something were to happen that you're protected.

OK.

Yeah.

Appreciate it.

But I love that, by the way, I love the spunk.

I love this.

More people should be doing this, that you're willing to go out

and do this.

In fact, let's real quick before we let you go.

How much debt do you guys have?

What's the total?

Including the house of a little over 101,000.

Take the mortgage out.

How much do you have?

17,000 over 17,000.

What do you anticipate making as a welder on the side?

I'm just trying to do another 2,000 a month.

Fantastic.

Right now I'm between harvest and planting.

So there's no real general overtime.

And I also don't want to do this forever, so that way.

So if you made an additional 2,000 a month welding,

how much are you guys out of your current income

and budget putting towards debt, that 17,000?

Current, well, with the minimum payments,

we're at 7,80 a month with all those payments.

And then we just started like a budget and planted.

So cut a bunch of subscriptions and everything.

So we're currently amping that up right now.

And so we're looking for excess money and stuff like that.

Yeah, so the reason I was walking you through this

is what's the total amount of money

that you guys are in a budget out of your current income

that we can put extra.

So is it $500 a month extra?

We can put on the $17,000 debt or using the debt snowball.

And George, I mean, making an extra to grand.

Yeah, if you just use sidehouse money,

you'd be done in about eight months.

But if you can use your personal income as well

and create margin there, let's make it

kind of an audacious goal to go.

Could we be done in four or five months

with our current income plus the sidehouse of money?

That will really fuel the fire here.

No pun intended as you begin this mobile welding business.

And while we're cheering you on and pumping you up

and you know, saying, hey, do this, do this.

I'd keep the side hustle going and knock out baby step three.

Get that three to six months expenses.

Let's go.

You know, fast forward that.

And now you get to baby step four, George.

And mentally, if he's gazelle with this side hustle,

explain what happens to him mentally, emotionally,

when he gets baby step two and three done in a short order.

Think about that.

Then you have all the margin you were throwing at those things

and now becomes your money to build wealth,

to go on vacation, to upgrade the car,

to create a maintenance and repair fund.

And who knows, maybe the welding business,

you go, I could do this full time.

I'm enjoying it.

I can be my own boss.

I'm good at this.

I could scale this thing.

And you'll have that kind of flexibility

once your debt free with the emergency fund.

All right, let's have that set some fun with that one, George.

All right, let's say he does everything you just described.

And you realize, wait a second,

I think I can make somewhere I'm gonna keep

or easy round number 50,000 again next year,

but I hire a couple buddies, blah, blah, blah, blah,

pay them, where's that extra 50?

How does that fit into investing

and really start to compound?

Well, now it's our investing 15%.

I'm gonna knock out the mortgage,

which you guys don't have a huge mortgage.

We can knock that out in a few years.

And now we're going, we can amp up,

we can max out our retirement accounts and vest beyond that,

take trips we never dreamed of, be more generous.

And so your life just opens up to a whole new realm

of possibilities by following these steps.

Gregory, we just looked into your future.

And George says you're rich.

The crystal ball says he's gonna be okay.

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All right, let's go to John in Los Angeles.

John, how can we help?

Hey gentlemen, thanks for having me on.

Sure, what's going on today?

So my girlfriend and I were, we own a home and we're pretty much breaking up and I want

to know what's the most fair way to split the net amount from the cell at home.

Are you both on the title?

Yes.

What about the mortgage?

Yes.

All right, what are you going to sell it for?

We're going to sell it for about 625.

We owe about 510 on it.

And after closing costs and everything, we're thinking we can walk away with about 95,000.

All right.

And let's talk about who put in what?

So who paid the down payment and how much?

So we bought the home almost three years ago.

The down payment was 40,000.

The down payment close and cost was 40,000.

I put in 35, she put in five.

Okay.

Oh boy.

Oh boy.

Throughout the time too, that we've lived here, we've done renovations and I've, we do keep

our finances separate, but throughout the time that we've owned a home in the last couple

of years, I've put in about 35, 36,000 on top of your 35.

And I know the answer, but we have to ask how much has she put in two renovations?

Nothing.

Oh boy.

Okay.

So you're obviously getting the money that you put into it back.

She'll get the money she put into it back and then you guys could split the rest.

Well, on paper, yes.

Yes.

On paper.

So legally, I mean, legally, we only have 50 or 50, right?

And she gives me a hard time.

And I'm not even going to argue it.

I'm just going to say, you know what, forget it, it is what it is, 50, 50.

But I just want to make sure that I'm not crazy because what I think it's fair and that's

the key word.

It's that I've recouped my money, she recoups her money, which is 5,000.

And, and whatever that difference is, we go down 50, 50 on that.

That's what I just said, right?

Oh, sorry.

I must understand.

Yeah, so I got, I did quick math, probably wrong, but I got 70,000 coming back to you,

right?

Correct.

And 5,000 to her.

And so if we walk away with 90, we got 15 to split.

Mm-hmm.

And so did I pick up you saying if she gives me a hard time, so you've not talked to her

about what we're going to do with the proceeds?

We have not.

No.

Do you think it's going to be a shock to her or where she had, what do you think she's

at mentally on this?

I think from a mental standpoint, she's logical too, and I think deep down she knows that

the first thing to do, but I think from an emotional standpoint, she'll give me a fight

over that.

Oh.

Here.

Well, here we go.

Here's the, I got a dig.

I can't help myself.

I'm like, I'm off to a flame.

Who broke up with who?

I'm breaking up with her.

Yeah.

That's problematic.

I still think the numbers are right, but I've just tried to keep it real.

The audience of the lobby's with me.

It's going to be a knockout drag down fight on the way out.

Were you a gentleman about it?

Yes.

We've gone a couple of therapy.

We've gone quite honestly.

This has been ongoing for like three months or so, where I've, I've been ready, honestly,

I've been worried to walk away for three months, but I've also been trying to work it

on too.

Okay.

Are we officially done with therapy?

The breakup is done.

This is all finalized, yes?

It will be.

Okay.

Soon.

What is the written agreement, say, if there is one hold on, how do you just move on so

quickly?

Well, it's not.

It's not.

He hasn't done it yet.

Is that what I'm hearing?

Is she listening to this call?

I hope not.

She's about to find out the hard way.

I hope not.

What's going to happen when you say, hey, it's over.

Is she even going to be willing to sell the house?

Because that's another part of this problem.

Yeah.

If I'm her, I'm going to go, I'm squatting.

I'm not going anywhere.

Why would you be like that?

Out of just anger.

I mean, when you're hurt, that's what you do.

Yeah.

I mean, she could.

And I don't, I don't foresee that happening.

I think in good faith, she seemed that I've been given it a shot to give you more

details of a relationship quite honestly.

I was ready to propose to her like five months ago, six months ago.

But I've seen a lot of changes in the last couple of months that made me change my mind

to the point that it's like, I don't want to waste her time or my time.

And we shouldn't even have bought this house in the first place to be.

Well, that, we all agree on.

Not married.

Wish you could have called us before, but you know, too little too late.

It's fine.

Well.

A little too late.

What do you call it?

I think to give you more context, she went to nursing school throughout the time, throughout

the last year.

So she's an RN now with no debt and I took over.

We were pretty much 50, 50 on our bills for the most part.

We never, not to the nickel, but for the most part right, the bigger bills.

And I sustain our household too throughout that time.

So I think, I think she's logical and I think she's fair.

So to going back to the point of, it should get me a hard time of not wanting to sell

all that stuff.

I really don't see that.

I don't think it would be an assie breakup, but I mean, but if it comes down to it, honestly,

I make, I make decent money and you want to play that game?

Go for it.

Let's go.

We'll take it off.

Well, let her handle it.

Wow.

This just went from like, you just went from, hey, if she gives me a hard time, I fold.

50, 50 to now, you're like, let's go.

How many up with some lawyers?

I don't know where this is going, John.

Here's the deal.

Appreciate you telling us this.

Here's my advice on this one.

I absolutely believe that you ought to put out what you think is fair.

How you choose to debate that.

I'm not going to get in the middle of that.

Hope it's not ugly, but I do think you should say, hey, but I wouldn't do it right away

because you've been in counseling and you've shared with us.

I love that you shared it.

But for three months, you've been checked out.

And she's got to be either blindsided or just knows that this is coming.

I don't know which way it's going to go.

Doesn't matter to this call other than to say, when the breakup is done and you've got

to give that a little space, George, is what I'm recommending.

And then say, we need to sell the house and here's how I think it ought to go.

And maybe a good idea for you to get a session with your therapist who's been counseling

the two of you and maybe get some advice on how to maybe play this thing out because

that person hopefully has been very, very objective in sitting with the two of you and

might be able to help.

That would be the ultimate ideal way to handle it.

George, what do you add?

What do you do?

I mean, assuming all of that goes decently well, then it becomes how are we going to split

this?

And I just want to know, do you have things documented?

Your contributions as they're written agreement, all of that?

No, no.

If she wants to play hardball, I don't have a legally, I don't have a leg to stand on.

And if she wants to play hard, we would have to split a 50-50 and not matter that.

But it's just, that's a handshake agreement that we would split a 50-50.

It was 50-50 mean based on contributions because you never talked about that and it's

not written.

Sorry, I guess what I'm saying is going back to your question of, do I have anything

written as far as how much I put down, how much I put into renovations?

No, I don't.

If she wants to play hardball from the net proceeds from the sell of the home, I don't

have a leg to stand on.

And my best case in Arrow is, at that point, we'll split a 50-50 from the net proceeds.

And I'm probably out 20, 25,000.

I mean, I would start collecting some receipts of the, you know, the content of the labor

I paid.

And I mean, you can't, you just give up now.

Yeah, I agree.

I wouldn't leave 70 grand on the table.

Oh, and I'd be real nice.

I mean, real nice and break it up with her.

Yikes.

Welcome back to the Ramsey Show and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio.

Alongside George Camel, I'm Ken Coleman, thrilled to have you with us, Triple-8, 825-5225 is

the phone number to jump in.

Let's go to Zach in Houston, Texas.

Zach, what is going on?

Hey, guys.

My question is, is it financially okay or responsible for my wife and I to get a golf club

membership?

Well, that's just too simple of a question.

How are we to know?

So let's start here, George.

I know that you're itching to start asking questions here.

What do you want to know?

I want to know where you're at financially.

So do you guys have any debt?

Our only debt is our mortgage on our house.

Okay.

Good sign.

Zach, it's looking up so far.

You got one green light.

Let's talk about your savings.

How much do you have saved?

Saved like liquid?

Yes.

Yeah, about five months worth of emergency fund.

Okay.

Another good sign, Zach.

Things are looking really good.

Household income?

About 215,000.

Hey, tell him what he's won, George.

I, I still need to know more.

You are such a crutch.

And he's so excited for you to get on the, Zach, we're three for three, but I'm going

to play this out with George.

Well, I mean, is this a, you know, is this, go with your question?

Is it 500 bucks a month or is it 200 grand for the initiative?

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, that's the question.

We'll get to that.

What else do you need?

I want to know what your net worth is.

Okay.

My net worth is about 370K if you include the equity in the home and retirement accounts.

Yes.

And how old of a young guy, aren't you?

My wife and I are 28.

I knew it.

Cool.

Yeah.

You get, by the way, good golfer.

Yeah.

Are you good?

That's another question.

I'm pretty good.

Yeah.

What's your hand?

It's about a 10.

Oh, for heaven's sakes.

This guy, this guy's chalping at the bed.

He's paid his dues.

Zach needs humble money.

How much money?

Okay.

Tell us what it's going to cost.

Okay.

It has a $1,000 initiation fee.

Oh, for crying out loud.

Well, they don't even make those that cheap anymore.

It's fantastic.

Exactly.

The problem is it's like 500 bucks a month.

Okay.

Who cares?

Oh, look at this.

George, you boy.

I mean, as a percentage of your take, I agree.

But you're worried about the 500 a month, I'm thrilled over the $1,000 initiation.

You can't find that.

Is this a goat track or a nice place?

It's a pretty nice place, but it is semi-private and semi-public.

Okay.

Wow.

Are there any minimums as far as food and beverage?

Is this like a fancy country club vibe?

Their clubhouse is really nice, but no, there's no minimums.

Okay.

This is an absolute slam dunk, yes, you can afford this.

The bigger question is, what does she get to do with 500 bucks of fund money a month

for her?

I guess whatever she wants, but she's been getting into golf, too, so this would cover

both of us.

Whoa.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Now we're bonding as a couple.

This is wonderful.

I don't like how you quickly went to what does she get for a fight.

Why do you got to be so...

I'm putting myself on her shoes.

Well, that was my next question.

She's in favor of this.

Is that right, Zach?

Well, we both grew up really frugal, and so the 500 bucks a month is like, it's like

a pain and spent, you know?

For her, for her, your wife, as well.

Yes.

But is she for this or is she against it?

I know the pain's there, but assuming you've talked about it before this call.

Yes.

She's about it, and she seems very excited about it.

Oh, well, this is a no-brainer.

This is just because you guys have never spent this kind of money on something like this

before.

It's brand new, but I'm telling you, the first month, oh, I don't know about day two or three

where you guys go out together and the weather's nice, you're in the golf cart, got a little

snack.

Maybe you hit some good shots that day.

It's a distant memory.

Your brain will adjust to that spend pretty quickly, right, George?

Most 28-year-old dudes are spending double that on a truck payment every month, and so

I want you to feel better about your decision making $215,000 completely debt-free except

for the house.

I mean, it's a small percentage of your income of your world, and as long as you guys

are doing everything else right, you're paying down the mortgage investing for your future,

then the 500 bucks, you'll start flexing that spending muscle to where it doesn't feel

as crazy over time.

I got a little some extra here before we let Zach go.

Okay.

Zach, have you thought about the ROI on this $500 a month?

I am not.

Can I tell you?

I wrote a book called Proximity Principle, but forget the book in the title, just the word

proximity.

You being at places where other wealthy couples, wealthy men, business people are frequenting,

and it's the country club.

They never know where the conversations turn, and the $6,000 you're going to spend, and

you gladly do it, and you say this is about us, this is about recreation, which is good.

Very well could turn into some huge opportunities in your life.

So you and your wife, I'm telling you, need to sit down tonight, whether you believe me

or not, I'm right.

You hang out at country clubs.

Good things happen.

I sadly agree with Ken.

Thank you very much.

I don't go to country clubs, but if I did, I'd be a wealthier man.

I've invited you before.

How many times did I invite you to come play golf at Legends, and you never showed up?

Once maybe?

Maybe once.