Inside the Closet: How Mormon Conversion Therapy Tried to ‘Fix’ Me

What happens when your faith tells you that your identity is a flaw to be corrected? In this episode, we sit down with Sam Nieves, a conversion therapy survivor, board member of the Conversion Therapy Survivor Network, and a clinically trained therapist with a background in Cognitive Psychology. Sam takes us deep into his lived experience growing up in Mormonism, where his sexuality and even his skin color were framed through a toxic theology of righteousness. In a LDS/Mormon belief system where “becoming white and delightsome” was once literal doctrine, Sam learned early on to associate purity with whiteness—and straightness. That twisted framework blurred lines in deeply harmful ways, pushing him into the shadows of shame and eventually into conversion therapy. Sam will walk us through the devastating process—how it was initiated, including messaging from MTC leadership, and how it affected his psyche, his sense of self, and his path to healing. This episode doesn’t just expose what goes on behind the closed doors of so-called “conversion therapy”—it empowers vulnerable listeners to recognize red flags and find help. Sam shares insights from both his trauma and his training, offering critical resources and language for anyone caught in similar webs of psychological and spiritual manipulation. Warning: This conversation includes themes of trauma, homophobia, and racial messaging within religious contexts. But it also includes truth, clarity, and hope.
RESOURCES:
https://www.gofundme.com/f/ctsn-exmo-booth-for-utah-pride-2025