Intentional Living: Escaping Flattery in a World of Influence [Day 134 - Orchos Tzaddikim | Flattery 8]

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You are listening to Rabbi Arya, will be of torch in Houston, Texas.

This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.

Welcome back my dear friends, the day number 134 at the end of the Gatorflaherry on page

7.53.

Herod Zalina Zamanachnifos, someone who wants to protect himself and escape from the

sin of flattery, Yizor Laharchik atzmamanachavod, run away from honor.

Kimi Shaino Khoshe Shliskhabid, someone who is not cautious about honor, about the trappings

of honor, lo Yitzdorikh Laharchnif, someone who doesn't, is not concerned with honor,

will never need to flatter another person.

We go to Zalina Zamanachavod, we don't take benefit from other people, we don't take benefit

from other people, we don't take benefit from other people, we don't take benefit from other people.

We want to be careful not to derive benefit from others.

For most of those who flatter, do so in expectation of some benefit from those who they flatter.

So I'm giving in order to take, there's a book, I remember when I moved to Houston in

my position as director here at Torch, so someone recommended a book, I'm not going to

say the name of the book, but the book was all about how to flatter people to get what

you want.

And I never read the book.

I just read the introduction and it was all about how do you know, it's like if you

go to the right places and you hang around the right people and you always ask them,

oh, how's your wife and how's your children, even though you don't care and you did this

night, it's not genuine, it's all fake.

But then they'll invite you to their parties and then they'll do business with you and

then they'll give you this and it's all the whole principle of the book was about really

being disingenuous to get what you want.

And I felt that it was just so, I literally never read the book.

I have it still, but it's not a book that I read.

I don't want to read it because I feel that it's not, it's not genuine, it's not honest.

That's not the way you build relationships that are loving, that are real, that are genuine.

Kikama Baniyadam Osemisim Tovim Kadeshi Kablu Kavod Mibaniyadam Vizel Anin Mikalke Kola

Wada Saddam.

So how many people do good deeds so that people acknowledge them, so that they get the

praise of others?

Vizel Anin Mikalke Kola Wada Saddam, all of the persons service of Asem becomes destroyed

because he's seeking that honor.

Kikama Baniyadam Shahim Ispala Lim Viyeshlam Kola R.

If how many people have a beautiful voice and they can lead the services, Ummehara Reem

Beliba Mishastatvila, and they're thinking while they're leading the services, Kamakoli

Aurefu.

Look what a beautiful voice they have.

Ubneadam Nanimimani Shoshomosian People are loving that I'm leading the services.

I'm such a great canter, I'm such a great person to lead the service.

Echin Dhākkoshipayetzara, and this is the way the Yatz-Aharā works.

O Seqeen Likhala Mitsu, he does this for all Mitsus, Lahapewal Adhmarishto to put a

person into the trap of the Yatz-Aharā and to cause him to now do it for the attention

for the people to acknowledge. So that his actions not be actually for the sake of heaven,

but rather for the sake of his own personal glory.

So too with pleasure, if you're a guest in someone's home, you can't now stand up and say just by the way what you're doing is wrong because don't kick you out of the house.

If you're enjoying from somebody, you're taking pleasure from you, enjoying a meal at their home, you've got to be very careful.

Kiyori Shalo Yaha Neyu, Oat, you're afraid he's going to kick you out of the house.

But in you know who, in you know who Takolas Tsas Khachme Hadorazir.

He says that in our generation sadly, this is how many years ago, this was written, but he says this is sadly the situation.

Kiyem Rhodes family, Lehenos Mino Am, Al-Keyn Yachhanifullah, because they want to benefit from someone so, from that person, from this person.

So they kiss up to them, and they chummy up to them, and they say nice things to them, so that they continue to carry favor with them.

Not only that they don't correct the person who's sinning, but they sit idly by and eventually become part of the sinners.

He says the way nature is, is that man is drawn to the ways of his people,

to the ways of his generation, to your friends, to your community, to your culture, to your country.

This is what we do in our country, this is what we do in Texas, this is what we do wherever a person is.

This is what we do here, a person gets drawn to it.

Ve'ech Shehem Osem Yasigamu, and the way they act, he acts, we're all influenced by our environment to some degree.

The fiqqaq, tsar, qad, umlis, qab, alas, adiqim, therefore a person has to ensure that he connects with the righteous.

Ve'le, shev'e, tsar, qaham, tamin, and to always sit with the righteous.

And to those who are wise, and those who are pious, they should yield madmimaaseem, to learn from their ways.

Ve'e, srakhik, minari, shayam, ha'ol, kheem, bakhoshech, and to distance oneself from the sinners,

who, and the evil doers, who are walking in darkness, they should low yield madmimaaseem in order not to learn from their ways.

We are all influenced, and this is an important thing for us to remember constantly.

If you think that your children are not being influenced in school, in college, in grad school, wherever they may be, they are being influenced by their environment.

100% are being influenced.

Ve'e, sheh'e, shlama, malachalam alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum alaikum.

This is what King Salman of Blessed Memory says in Proverbs.

Holeikh es khachamim yekam, viroek silim yoreyo.

He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be broken.

He who walks with the wise men will be wise.

You hang around the good people, you'll be good.

You hang around the not so good people, you'll be not so good.

As it says in Psalms.

Asheh, heesh, asheh'a, asheh'a, lohala khwatus husham.

This is the first verse in the first psalm of King David.

Praise is the man, happy is the man who did not walk in the council of the wicked.

You don't hang around with them, you won't be influenced negatively from them.

Ve'e, imha yemidina shemin hageha.

Roiim ve'in anosheh'a, hoiikhim ve'dere khushara, if there is a community, there's a place where the customs are evil.

And whose members do not follow the right path.

Yeh lichlam akhib sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-dikim.

Go to a place where the people are righteous.

Ve'e naghim ve'dere khtovin.

And they do conduct themselves virtuously.

Ve'e imha qala-medinous.

Shuhu yod'an ve'shomash muassan.

Naghos ve'dere khlo-tovin.

And if all of the communities that you know conduct themselves in a way that's inappropriate.

O ain'o y'aahlele khlo-medinous shemin hageha-tovim.

Or if a person is too far from a place that has good, correct values and ways.

Me'pnea ghiyasos.

O me'pnea choli.

Yeh shayev levado yikhidi.

Either because of sickness or because of dangerous bands of thieves in order to get there.

So what is he going to do? He's too far.

Too far of a travel to get to a place which has wholesome people.

Yeh shayev levado yikhidi.

Such a person should dwell in solitude alone.

If you shanema yeh shayev badad ve'yidom kinat al-alaf.

Let him sit alone and be silent for he has taken it upon himself says,

lamentations.

Ve'e imha'im ra'im wa khatoyim.

Shae'in we nihin osolation we medinous.

Ella'im kan.

Miss Aravimoyin.

Hora'o yeh sila ma'oris wala khach'a.

Vachim.

Ve'le midboris.

Ve'al, yanig, atz mo'ududair khatoyim.

Kin'in shna'em ar mi'id, ne'nu.

Pemidbar, melon, orchim.

He says, and if you're in a place where they say,

sorry, you got to be part of our culture like Saddam and Gamora.

You have to do what we do.

We're all evil and you're going to be evil with us.

He says, what do you do then?

He says, then hide in the caves and the rocky cliffs.

The rocky cliffs in the desert do not be among those who are sinners.

My dear friends, this is such an important and fundamental lesson for us to learn in our generation

because I feel that we're living in a world of total influence.

And we're influenced in ways that in previous generations we weren't influenced that way.

Previously, okay, you can keep the television off.

But today you have apps, you have social media,

you have every kind of influence you can possibly imagine.

Media, so powerful.

And you look at what, you know, you have the Golden Globes yesterday.

And you have all of these things.

Are these the values that we value?

If not, we should keep ourselves distance from it.

We should avoid looking at it and hearing about it.

It means we have to have intentional direction

in what we, and how we want to live our lives.

And if a person wants to live their lives in a righteous way,

they're going to have to be intentional about it.

And delete the app that's causing you to waste time.

Delete the app that's causing you to have a negative influence.

Distance yourself from friends that are bad influence.

We have to be intentional about it.

We can't, and this, I think, the number one lesson from chapter 24

about slander, about about flattery

is to be intentional in your service of Hashem.

I want to do good, I need to be in a good place.

I want to be in a positive environment.

I want to be around people who are growing,

who are on a trajectory of growth.

Because if not, what's the result?

Heaven forbid, I'll hang around the people that are no good.

And if they're no good, I'm surrounding myself with no good.

I'll end up with that influence as well.

And the same goes for our children, obviously.

If we put our children in a good environment,

they will be on a very good path to be doing great things.

By dear friends, have a magnificent week.

Thank you so much.

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