Invitation to choice, to hope and to consciousness

I just want you to knowthat if you need love right now,love is here.

Feel it flowing between us.

Whoever needs hope right now—there are plenty of reasons to feel hopeless.

But this message arriving to you right nowis evidence of hope.

Hope is something cultivated between us.It doesn’t just appear.

We make hope happen.

If you’re wondering who is out therewho understands,I want you to know:

there is.

It’s not just that you’re not alone.It’s that many of us are feelingthe same feelings you feel.

Even though it may seem likeyou are the only one inside this lifefeeling this way.

Isolation can make it seem that way.

And for whoever feels likethis life might not be worth it—

I’m here to remind you:

it’s worth it.

But you have to make it worth it.

My mother Caron said something once:the point is, you must design a point for yourself.

Life is worth it.But that doesn’t mean everythingis going to work out.

It’s part of the human conditionthat everything doesn’t work out.

I’m not saying life is worth itbecause things will go your way.

Some things will.Some things won’t.

That is the common thread between us.

It’s not all going to work out.

But the things that do—those need to be cherished.

Celebrated.

The rising of the sun.The first birds of the morning.

Winter citrus on the vine.

Petting your cat.

Being warm enough.

Coffee in your cup.

Waking up can be hardwhen everything around usfeels chaotic.

You must look for beautyeverywhere.

We can bring our own meaningto everything that is happening.

We have to bring our own meaning.

Borrowed meaning about this lifedoesn’t work.

I wish someone had told us that sooner.

You have to make your own meaningjust like you have to make a point.

We think a lot about the pastand how we cannot change it.

But we can find a new contextthat makes it meaningful now.

I’m not one of those peoplewho believes everything happens for a reason.

I don’t.

I believe in mistakes.

I don’t think you chose your trauma.Or that you deserved it.Or bargained for it.Or that it was karma.

And I don’t believe you agreed to itin some previous incarnation.

I know some people do.

I don’t.

I do believe in an intelligent universe.

But a universe that scripts sufferingfeels more manipulative than intelligent.

I like to believe our soulsare far too wiseto choose to be victimsand perpetratorsover and over again.

How’s that working out for us?

What I do believeis that power-over structuresare doing their bestto remove our capacityto remember that we have choice.

It’s a potent strategy.

If we believe we don’t have a choice,we stop looking for one.

And I want to validate something:

You have every reasonto feel miserable,depressed,or hopeless.

This isn’t misery loving company.

It’s simply honest.

I feel the temptation myselfbecause of what’s happening around us.

The wars.

The files.

The behaviors.

The administrations.

The commentary.

The price of cheese.

Really.

And yet—

right now,if you’re reading this,

I want to remind youthat the curation of your consciousnessis yours to do.

And truly,

that is the work.

To curate your consciousness.

To move out of the default settingsof personality and circumstanceand decide:

From now on,I will curate my consciousness.

To do that,we need intentional chemistry.

Even with chaos around you,your consciousnessis still yours to navigate.

Until we realize that,

life feels like it’s happening to usinstead of through us.

Curating consciousnessis a choiceday by day.

A choice to repair the narrativethat has been deeply impactedinside each of usthrough cycles of conquestand devastationacross space, time, and place.

Our souls knowthere is another way.

That’s where hope comes from.

Because there is another way.And we know it.

Part of what makes this moment hardis that we can feela better way is possible.

Each one of us can choose that way.

In every decision.Every relationship.Every moment.

We can chooseto lead from the heart.

The choice is ours—if we remember we have it.

I know that many timesit doesn’t feel that wayin our hearts,our bodies,our minds.

But I want to tell you:

you do have a choice.

Some daysthe only assignmentis to reach towardthe possibility of a choice.

The fragment of a choice.

The fractal edge of a choice.

Even if you cannot yet feel itas a lived experience.

Choice as a lived experienceis still there.

And I’m hereas evidence of that.

Years agoI created a paintingwith two of my dear friends,Mary MacDonaldand Shannon Thompson,founder of Shakti Rising.

Shannon passed away suddenlya few years ago.

Just when life was opening for her—a new home,married,finally slowing downafter a life of service.

She’s not here in the form anymore.

But she is one of my ancestors now.

When I would talk to Shannonabout hope like this,

she would laugh at me.

A big cackle.

At my optimism.

But we shared a devotionto life,to women,to care,to the Divine Feminine.

We gave our livesto tending that.

To curating it.

Today I don’t know exactlywho this message is for.

But I am thinking of Shannon.

And I’m thinking of a young girlwith the initials K.L.

A girl who lived in my home once.

A girl I helpedmove through selective mutenessthrough creativity.

A girl whose father couldn’t help her.

When her brother was dying,I held her hand.

When she tried to take her life,and survived,we painted together.

Her life has been hard.

Very hard.

I haven’t been in touch for a long time.

But I see her sometimes.

Her eyes look hollow now.

Tattoos on her face.

She has enduredsome of the worst thingsmen can doto women and girls.

So I send messages.

Sometimes through her mother.

Sometimes just into the field.

Speaking to herat the level of soul.

Because after what she has lived throughhope can be very hard to find.

So I speak to her.

To you.

From my heart to yours.

Right nowI’m about to have tea with the muse.

This is one of the waysI practice intentional chemistry.

Moving from beta—stress, reaction, problem-solving—

into alpha.

Into an intuitive love zone.

Sometimes sending you these messagesdoes that for me.

Loving youlifts my mood.

So from my heartand my homeand my cup of tea with the muse—

to yours.

This is Curate Shiloh Sophiawith a messageof unreasonable hope

and an invitation

to belongto yourself.

You are not alone.

Lean in.

Don’t isolate.

I am leaning in.

Get full access to Tea with the Muse at teawiththemuse.substack.com/subscribe