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About this Episode
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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz.
I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a long time reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC.
And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the
business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies
building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it.
Asking where this is all going, they come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more.
So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices,
and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties,
listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
What is a duck? A chicken with snow shoes on.
Correct, pay that man eight dollars.
Does courtship make a fellow spoon?
Yes, but marriage makes some fork over.
Correct, pay that man nine dollars because it pays to be ignorant.
It pays to be ignorant, it pays to be ignorant, it pays to be ignorant just like me.
Each week I earn six dollars, my brain is terribly like.
But when there ain't no income, then there ain't no income tax, so you see it pays.
Here we are again with that quiz program for all people over 35 who are still in the second grade.
We are the water backers who are so dumb, they think a nightmare is a milkman's horse.
First, first we have to celebrate Arthur, Mr. Harry McNaughton,
who was just written the condensed version of the book about Faradana entitled Bound.
But here it is, there are Harry McNaughton, let's make that.
I have a poem, Mr. Haar.
I see.
I stood on the bridge at midnight and the wind was full of air when somebody pulled the bridge away
and left me standing there.
I got awfully wet, you know.
All right, next we have a woman who is the inspiration of the song.
I walk alone because I'm homeless.
A woman who has a large background, but has spread all over the country,
there she is, and it causes first wife, Mr. Ronald McNaughton.
You know, Mr. Howard, my old man took me with him to buy a purple tie.
Yeah, but we didn't seem to know just what time he wanted.
I see.
So he put his hands around my throat and squeezed.
Yes.
Then he turned into sails and said, see, that's the shade of purple I want.
Too bad he liked gold.
Next we have a man.
Next we have a man whose head comes to a point because his mother was scared by a nice cream cold.
A man, a man who didn't talk until he was five years old,
because he didn't have anything to say.
Harry is, Mr. George Johnson.
Harry Todd, I got a letter from my uncle Webb put up on his farm in May last week.
He tells me to trade this bicycle in for a cow.
Yeah, he did.
But he's going to look funny riding around the farm on a cow.
He's going to look a whole lot funny and try to look at bicycle.
Yeah, man, let me run the man.
Well, as the experts, folks from now on, we promise you nothing.
So here is the first question.
Are you paying attention?
Yeah.
Are we paying attention?
That's an easy question to fail, man.
The answer is no.
All right.
Boy, we got rid of that one quick, didn't we?
Yeah.
What's the next question, Mr. Howard?
I hadn't asked the word question yet.
Boy, are we good?
We answered them now before you asked them.
Yeah, Mr. Dillon, are you nuts?
Well, some say one thing and some say another.
I am nuts, and all right, here is the question.
I'll pay attention to you.
We can get it.
The question is if a man was born 25 years ago,
how old would he be today?
No help with the audience, please.
Well, what's the man's name, Mr. Howard?
Why do you want to know his name for?
Well, I thought I could call him up.
I would mind meeting a nice man with post-war plans.
There, but you don't know how old he is.
Oh, he's a man, ain't he?
Yeah, that's not a bad boy, but that's not the question.
If a man was born 25 years ago, how old would he be today?
Bimsy born, Mr. Howard.
I don't know what day was born, huh?
You're young.
You don't seem to know much about the man at all, do you?
Well, please, the question you asked are relative.
Well, if he's a relative, I'm sure you don't know his name, man.
He's a relative.
Well, maybe he lives out west.
Maybe he's a distant relative.
Maybe he's a distant relative.
He is not a relative.
No relation at all.
No relation?
No.
Oh, the poor man.
Not even a mother or father?
That's the kind of...
Why don't you turn yourself in as waste back, somebody?
God, let's get on here.
The man I've taught about is purely hypothetical.
Your name is not C.
Love, do you know what hypothetical means?
I never discuss religion.
Religion of politics, I never talk.
Oh, said anything about politics.
Mr. Howard, would you mind repeating the question?
I'll be glad to.
If a man was born 25 years ago,
how old would he be today?
Sounds like the same question you asked before.
It is the same question.
You see, I was right.
You were right, Dan.
The question is about age.
Oh, age?
Age.
Who's age?
Who said, right away, how old are you, Mr. McConnell?
I'm 44.
44.
Your next measurement is more than that.
How old are you, Mr. Shelton?
I'm just 38.
38.
I'd like to have the difference in cigarettes.
Let's get on here.
How old are you, Mr. Howard?
My age was my own business.
You've been in business for a long time, man.
I never thought.
The question is, if a man was born 25 years ago,
how old would he be today?
Mr. Howard, how old was this potty when he was born?
Ain't it?
It's awful.
Oh, please.
He couldn't have been very old.
No, he wasn't very old.
Probably only a baby.
Maybe, yeah.
You know, some babies are born very old these days.
I imagine they are.
No, I was born in Rhode Island.
Why?
I don't know.
Just a night-to-providence, I guess.
Oh, yeah.
That's sweet.
Hey, hey.
They saw it like regular luncheon.
No, no.
They'll get lost any minute, you know.
Great song.
That day's a thousand, and it was gone a lot in my shoe.
I was alive.
It happened.
Yes, it is.
You have to discover that he had something to play there.
Hey, I'm Josh Spiegel, host of the podcast, Lunatic in the Newsroom.
If you enjoy journalism that drifts into mild panic, wild overthinking, and a guaranteed
nervous breakdown, Lunatic in the newsroom is for you.
It's news like you've never heard before.
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You'll cry, and gasp and horror as the show spirals completely out of control.
It's not just news, it's emotionally unstable.
Lunatic in the newsroom.
Listen today.
Yeah.
So, here's the next question, folks.
Let's try and give this a little better attention.
We did the last one.
Now, here it is.
What is carried in a male pouch?
A male pouch?
Did you hear the question, Mr. McNaughton?
Indeed, I did, Mr. Haad.
Yes, I heard it just as distinctly as if you were right here in the studio with me.
I did.
But just to make sure, would you repeat it so I can make sure you were heard it?
Well, that's me.
You said, did you hear the question, Mr. McNaughton?
I know, but what was the question?
Am I too supposed to know that?
I know the question.
What do you have?
You're not strong enough.
I can hold the problem with you.
Wait a minute.
Then it gets stuck to your brain, but I'm not.
Why?
Why don't you take your head apart and build yourself a bungalow?
How many rooms?
I don't.
You have to get it.
Mr. McNaughton, do you know what the carry in a male pouch?
Why should I know?
I haven't got a pouch.
That's what you think.
I didn't say I had a pouch.
Why do other people carry in their pouches?
They're right.
They're right, I say.
Besides, I don't go around asking people what they carry in their pouches.
No.
I'm no busybody.
You may not be busy, but you're a lot of body.
Now let's go to the office.
The question is, what is carried in pouches?
Oh, I know, Mr. Howard.
Change the rules.
No.
Maybe change the rules.
No.
I said, did you hear about the baby kangaroo that ran away from its mother?
No.
Yes, and left her holding the bag.
Okay.
Okay.
Come on, Mr. McNaughton.
Look, haven't any of you ever been to the post office?
Post office, all right there.
Why I was down there today.
I wrote myself a letter.
Yes, I went down to Millet.
You wrote yourself a letter?
Yes.
What did you say to yourself?
I don't know.
I won't get it till tomorrow.
I see in the paper that some woman out west is suing a hospital
for operating on her husband.
Yeah.
And what grows?
For opening up her male.
Are you dying?
I'm dying.
That is the funniest guy I ever heard.
Okay, you know, talking about letters.
I got a letter from my brother with $50 in it.
But I had to send it back to him.
Really?
Why do you have to send it back?
Well, I sent it on the envelope, returning five days.
Three days.
Three days.
Less than you'd read that letters, we have a question here.
What is carried in male pouches?
Mr. Schellen, do you know what a pouch is?
Do I know what a pouch, certainly I do.
We have a leather wool in our boarding house.
You do.
Well, that's fine.
Now, what do you carry in that pouch?
Don't carry anything like sleep on it.
You sleep on it.
That's not a pouch.
That's a pouch.
No, no, no, Mr. Howard.
I think it's different.
A couch or a boy is a person who walks called a stooped over.
No, no, no, no.
That's a pouch.
Oh, no.
No, no.
A pouch is a mean poison.
No, no, no.
That's grouch.
Grouch.
You know, it whizzled up old crab who goes around.
It's not being the people that make a nasty remark.
Now we're back to the tower again.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
And now while we're lining up our contestants, ladies and gentlemen,
we have a bunch of men here who call themselves musicians.
Dr. Novik and his Auguster, which will show you how music should not be played.
Here is Dr. Novik playing the dancing doll.
It's a good time to leave in the air, folks.
And that beautiful isn't it?
I'm seeing sort of ways.
Thank you.
That guy even plays the violin.
If that was the dancing doll, I'm a pro-go-stick jumper.
What was the dancing doll?
All right.
Let's get the whole thing up.
Mr. Robert, who are we tonight as our first contestant?
Well, our first contestant tonight, Mr. Howard,
gentlemen in the United States Army, Corporal Jim Williamson.
Well, how do you do, Mr. Williamson?
Now welcome to our program.
It's only as nice as I'll have you with us.
How do you feel, sir?
Fine, Tom.
Thank you.
Well, that's really fine.
Where is your hometown?
Would you care to tell it?
Chicago.
Oh, Chicago.
What a night.
The lady's Chicago.
Chicago, well, must my hair and call me fuzzy.
Yes.
I used to, I used to work in that town.
I was a tailor in a lawyer's office.
You, you were a tailor in a lawyer's office?
I used to press suits.
Wait a minute.
There you go.
I sent you to the Mr. Williamson.
How long have you been in the service?
Twenty-two months, Tom.
Twenty-two months.
Listen, that's marvelous.
I'm congratulations.
You're right.
So you knew Jim, my apartment called you Jim.
I was a dollar a year, man, in the last four.
A dollar a year, man?
Mm-hmm.
I was a buck-private.
I'm a buck-private.
Mr. McNaughton, you're a member, so.
Not only that, I've got packed feet.
My name's Jim.
And I had to match.
Pardon the interruption.
What did you do before you entered the service?
I was an economist, Tom.
Chicago.
An economist in Chicago.
I imagine that would be very interesting work.
Well, we are certainly very, very happy to have you with us.
Yeah, what's your first name, honey?
What's your first name?
Jim.
Oh, Jim.
Jim.
Hey, miser.
Good name.
You're a kid, too.
All right.
Oh, yeah.
You're a kid.
You're a Chicago boy.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, you can just call me, girl.
I get around.
Yeah, you go.
And you're always tight, too.
Would you look?
Would you reach into the dumps cap there?
Jim, if I got a question for us, please.
And would you be kind enough to read the question, if you will?
What state is mentioned in the song?
Carry me back to Virginia.
Very good.
What state is mentioned in the song?
Carry me back to old Virginia.
Mr. Howard, what is the question about?
I just told you.
I must have wax in my ears.
Yeah, you have beans in your bonnet, too.
Boy, that's a honey.
That's it.
Well, the question is about states.
You know, Mr. Howard, when I was a school,
I could mention every state in the Union.
When you went to school, there were only 13 of them.
Mr. Howard, I used to work for a farmer down in Virginia.
You worked for a farmer.
Did he have a daughter?
Oh, did he?
Rather.
And every night, you would say to me,
leave the barn door open.
Father's coming home with a load.
Believe me, hey.
No, I knew a girl by the name of Virginia.
Oh, really?
Was she nice?
Was she?
Virginia was real.
Virginia.
Oh, I killed myself at Virginia.
Yeah, you do.
And that's me.
I want to happen.
Virginia was real.
You know what?
My grandma used to tell me about old Virginia.
Many of the times, she told me about Virginia,
with all their beautiful girls,
dressed in hoop skirts, and bustles.
You know, I used to wear a bustle.
You're still wearing it, Miss MacDonald.
Well, I'll keep quiet.
You would know a bustle from the mums.
Yeah, well, if that's the mums,
it must be the large economy side.
Look out.
Say, Miss MacDonald,
when was the last time you were in Virginia?
When grand took richly Miss MacDonald.
Oh, is that so?
I've been there several times since then.
Oh, you did.
Well, you came out that time, didn't you?
You know, my uncle lived in Virginia.
He was also a great actor.
I see.
You would see a Virginia ham.
I'll see.
Yeah, but we cured him.
You're cured.
Look, we're definitely away from the question.
Yeah.
Now, let's try and get back to it.
It's a very simple question.
You know how to be able to grab it very easily.
And I'll pay attention.
What state?
What state is mentioned in the song,
carry me back to old Virginia?
It's about who wrote the song.
Ah, please.
I don't know who wrote the song.
That's not the issue.
Oh, I know that song.
Issue is or issue is the same.
That's all you can do about Michigan,
carry me away.
Wherever it carries you to go, I hope it leaves you there.
Oh, that trombone player is wonderful.
I love his proxy conduct.
Yeah.
Somebody ought to cut it out.
There's nothing a matter where you're radio, folks.
The drummer gets lost in switchwork.
Ah.
Oh, hi, loud.
Thank you.
Thank you, I says.
All right, thanks.
Thank you, Dr. Novich.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Dr. Novich.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Thank you, Dr. Novich.
Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies.
We have another contestant.
Yes, we have, Mr. Howard, and a very lovely and charming young lady she is.
They're a McGee of the Cadet Nurse Corps.
Oh!
That was fine.
Good evening, Cadet McGee, and welcome to a safe figure.
Hi, nice Mr. Howard.
Was that she?
Never mind.
I know it's better than Mr. McGee.
How do you feel?
Fine.
Well, that's fine. You certainly do.
Where's your hometown when you're here to tell us?
My hometown is in Tottonville, St. Naive.
You know, it's called...
I used to work in that town.
You said that before.
Oh, what a nice girl's over there in Tottonville.
Yeah.
You know, when I was over there, I had more girls than you could check your sticker.
That's all I think, shaking six of girls.
I don't mean that.
No.
They know a test film.
You're getting a bicycle with me.
I never mind that.
How do you like your work in the service?
Nursing is wonderful, Mr. Howard.
I bet you say that as if you really meant it, and I'm sure you did.
What did you do before you entered the service?
I worked in a hospital.
In a hospital?
Why? You're right at home.
It's nursing.
What did you do in a hospital?
I was an attendant.
Attendant?
To any particular branch of the hospital?
To the executive member?
No, I was a nurse's attendant.
A nurse's attendant?
Do you mean you were a attendant, nurses?
No, let me confuse you.
No, you had to let me know for me today.
She must have gone to the hospital too.
Oh, she wasn't there.
I said, I'm going to have my kimono cut out.
I say.
Well, we are, certainly, very glad.
I might ask you one more thing.
How long have you been in the service?
I've been a cadet nurse at King's County Hospital for a year and a half now.
A year and a half? That's well.
King's County Hospital, that's out in Brooklyn.
Brooklyn.
That's around the...
We're a little short.
I thought we ought to have a little hand in there.
And I'm always sure of it when I mention Brooklyn.
I was out with a girl the other night.
She was a defense worker from Brooklyn.
A defense worker?
Yeah, I took her all over town.
I showed her all the sights.
And still, she wasn't satisfied.
And I spent all my time on her.
Oh, really? What did she want?
Time and a half.
Well, why don't you take me out sometime?
I used to be a cover girl.
What? You used to be a what?
A cover girl.
Yeah, man. Oh, cover.
Oh, why are you talking about it?
I used to be a cover girl on the magazine.
Yeah, you won't walk back the scene.
Hop from mechanics.
Let's get out of here.
Witnesses go online.
And this is the gate.
Would you reach into the dumpster out there and pick out a question for us, please?
And would you be kind enough to read the question, if you will?
And what kind of Pennsylvania did Lincoln make his Gettysburg address?
Don't help, please. Don't help.
And what kind of Pennsylvania did Lincoln make his Gettysburg address?
Did you hear the question, Mr. McDonnell?
You want the truth, Mr. Howard?
Certainly.
I didn't hear the question.
I simply just can't keep my eyes off Miss McGee.
All right, never mind.
What nature you fall in love with every girl you see.
Every girl I see.
I'm asking you.
Now, what was your question, Mr. Howard?
All right, I'll give it to you again.
And what kind of Pennsylvania did Abraham Lincoln make his famous Gettysburg address?
Oh, the same question.
Yes, the same question.
Well, who's that address?
Are you looking for him, Mr. Howard?
Look, I'm not looking for anyone's address.
I want to know what's down in Pennsylvania.
Lincoln made his Gettysburg address.
The address is irrelevant.
You're relevant, Pennsylvania?
Never heard of it, ever.
Mr. McDonnell, you have the lowest IQ I've ever seen.
Can't help it, my suspenders broke.
Baby, God, is it a large city?
Well, I wouldn't say it was a large city.
Why, why wouldn't you say it was a large city?
Well, because...
Speak up, man.
There's nothing to be ashamed of.
Certainly not.
You're among friends.
You don't have to hide anything from us, Mr. Howard.
Certainly not.
I assure you all, boy, we'll feed you with the utmost confidence.
Look, why don't you three join the cavalry and release three jackasses for access to Gettysburg?
Why don't you get under yourself?
Look.
Please, don't any of you know anything about history?
Oh, history, I do.
I'll never forget my history class in school.
No.
There was a little girl who used to sit beside me named Bessie.
All right. Did you learn anything about history?
Sure, but not as much as I learned about Bessie.
Yes, did you know, or do you know Lincoln's Gettysburg address?
No, no.
I don't even know his telephone number.
You know what?
Why don't you dial information?
Why don't you stick your fingers in your ears and go bowling, Mr. McDonald?
No, no.
I don't know any of you know anything about your country?
I don't.
I live in the city.
You live in the city.
I don't like the country.
No.
The woodpeckers keep me awake all night.
I say.
Why don't you say for your hat on?
Look.
There's the cow.
Don't you know what Lincoln said?
No.
I never drew it on his program.
My dear young lady.
Let me rephrase that lie.
My dear lady.
Some people.
Some people grow up and spread good cheer.
You just grew up and spread.
What was the question, Mr. Howard?
All right.
Once more.
In what town and sense of any of Lincoln's Gettysburg address?
Oh, the same question.
I ain't that awful.
Any schoolboy should know that.
Oh, schoolboy.
Well, do I remember my school days, yes?
The teacher used to keep me off the school.
Because you didn't know the answers?
No, because I did.
You used to look at me and say, oh, I'm not a new dog, you.
I love you.
They call them wolves now.
You know, when I went to school, I fell down on a 25-word composition.
You did really? How was it?
She didn't know 25 words.
Mr. McGee, I hate you.
Mr. McGee.
Well folks, Mr. Palaisy in the control room there is getting ready to push us off the air.
So here is the young man here to tell you just what we mean when we say.
It pays to be ignorant, to be dumb, to be damned, to be ignorant.
It pays to be ignorant just like me.
I took my girl to dinner, we had a wonderful feast.
They had to give my girl a check because I couldn't read.
This is the armed forces radio service.
Have no brain being aimed, just be ignorant.
It pays to be ignorant just like me.
I took my girl to dinner, we had a wonderful feast.
They had to give my girl a check because I couldn't read.
So you see it pays to be ignorant.
Have no brain being aimed, just be ignorant.
It pays to be ignorant just like me.
I took my girl to dinner, we had a wonderful feast.
