It's Me, Tinx Live: My Boyfriend's Best Girlfriend Hates Me

What's up, guys? Welcome back to its meeting's live exclusively on Radio Andy channel 102. As always, this is our weekly time to talk to each other with a live ask me anything. I want to talk to all of you. So call me right now. It's 8 4 4 305 Andy. That's 8 4 4 305 2639. Good morning. Happy Wednesday from Miami for the first time ever. We have a live audience as well. So I'm I'm double double live right now. And it's really fun to have everybody in the studio with me and I love being in Miami. Even though I'm

burning myself to a crisp yesterday, acting like I've never seen sun before. But to my credit, actually, no, there is no excuse. And I just start in my treadmill and journey. So I definitely shouldn't have been in the sun. And I had a spray tan. So I didn't even look pale. So really I just burn myself to a crisp for literally no reason other than that I just got over excited to be in Miami. But I love being here. I went on a date last night. And I I want to preface this story by

saying that if a guy did this and one of you called in to tell me that a guy did this to you, I would trash talk him. I'd be like, this guy is asked, like, this men are so bad, like blah, blah, blah, whatever. Okay. So wait, before you go set up or app app. Okay. And and and I've been a lot more intentional about dating this year. I said that I was taking it slow. I was only going on dates with people that I actually thought I would like last year. I was like doing so many dates, whatever, whatever. Okay. So when I

like move a guy from the app to texting, I don't like put his name in. Obviously you would never put his name in because like you can't name the puppy until like he's, you know, whatever. Okay. So I had it in my mind that this guy was like this skateboarder guy. Okay. That I've seen on my on my app. And not that I change how I look or like where we go based on the guy, but like you kind of do. And I thought this guy was like this Brazilian guy who like

was like kind of hippie-dippy like skateboarder, whatever. I was like, not rude to him, but I was kind of just like, okay, just come to my hotel. I had just come from the pool, like barely put a brush through my hair, whatever.

Okay. So I'm waiting for the guy. And I texted Emmett, my one of my best friends. And I was like, I really want to cancel. He's like, it's too late now. You have to go through that whatever, whatever. Okay. So I'm waiting at the rooftop of my hotel. I made it my hotel. That was also so cheeky. I was like, come to me, whatever.

And this guy tells me on the shoulder, he's like, hey, and I was like, hey, and he was like, and I was like, oh, um, I just blurred it out. You look so different from your pictures.

And he was like, really? Do I? I was like, I was like, yeah. And I like try to shake it off. And I was like, this is like, I'm being catfish. I was like, oh my god, I'm being catfish. Like, it's actually happening to me for the first time. And then I, I was like, well, you know, he was like, well, you know, when I'm going back to where I'm from.

I'm like, Brazil. And he goes, no, Montreal. And he goes, did you mistake me for a different guy? And it was a totally different guy. I had been texting totally a different guy. And then I thought this guy was from Montreal.

He was like, super suave. Not that I would have like dressed up like because I think he's like rich or whatever. But like, he is like a totally different guy. I, and he was like, oh my god. And he called me out on it. And I was like, I couldn't recover it because I had said you look so different.

We were pictures like totally different guy. So I had just been texting the wrong person. And I did that. Like, and it made me seem like I was a girl going on a million

updates and not keeping track of them. But it was an honest to God mistake.

Did you guys have good banter when you were, did you remember talking to that guy when he's like, no, I'm the Montreal Canadian guy that's been talking to you for the past month?

Well, it did clock to me that there was some discrepancies in our texting when I began.

Because I was like, what is the guy? I'm just going to be honest. Like, we're all friends here because he was like, do you want to go to the four seasons?

And I was like, God, that's so random. Like the guy who I thought I was texting seemed like a hippie skater. I was like, I was like, I didn't know this guy would like play like that.

I was like, oh, whoa, that's crazy. So anyway, I look like a complete clown. And I was like, so, so embarrassed. We had a good laugh about it. We had some good banter. He's sweet.

He did say to me that he was trying to, he's 37. He was like, I'm really trying to date like, you know, more in my range because like usually I date 23 year olds.

And I was like, oh, perfect. I'm your first 35 year old experiment. I love that. And he was like, this was the best. He goes, no, but you look great.

And I'm like, oh, thank you. Oh, my God. I'm not dead yet at 35. Wow. That's amazing. Thank you. But to be fair, we had like really, really good banter. We had a good laugh about it.

I was just like, I couldn't recover. I had to just be honest.

Will you see him again? I don't think in a romantic setting because I think I know the type of girl he wants. And I'm not trying to be at you guys.

No, I have rock solid self-esteem. But like, I think he wants a two rock solid, two rock solid, he wants like a, like a long hair, like younger than me,

working on the table type girl, which is fine. That's fine. But I'm sure living, you know, I'm sure people understand what I mean by that.

I'm just not that. I'm just, too many, two and a half hours though. That's a wild amount of time. Well, I had to charm him because I had to recover from looking like a complete clown.

So I was like, yeah, like I, it was, I had to, we recovered. But anyway, so that was that. He said he was going to call in today. I don't believe him. But we'll see. We'll see.

You talked about your live radio show with him. Yeah. That's where you're supposed to talk shit about him. No, no, I know. But I was like, he was like, are you going to talk about this on air? And I was like, absolutely, I'm going to be honest. But like, if a guy, if you guys called and said, like, oh, this guy, like, didn't know who he was going on a date with. I'd be like, wow, he's like dating so many people, fuck man, blah, blah, blah. But I did it.

First, when he said hi, I was like, have I hooked up with this guy before? I literally can't remember. And what's funny is that episode of Sex and City where Samantha is having sex with a guy and then she remembers like, oh, I've had sex in before. When I watched that when I was younger, I was like, that's so unbelievable. Who wouldn't remember who they hooked up with? And now I'm like, did I? Are you? Anyway, let's take some calls. Let's go to Megan. Hi, Megan. How are you? Oh, Megan. Hello. Yeah.

Hello. Hi. Welcome to the show. What's going on?

Thank you. So now I'm nervous because there's a live audience. But hey, guys, there's always a live audience.

No, I don't think they're always they're always listening. They're just listening. A few of them in person. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me what's going on with you. I love it. Now I know. Okay. So the funny part about this is that the

literally what's the better or worse, the first person I thought of when I needed advice, I was like, I got to call

Trinx on the cell for this. I love that. It's hilarious story, but that time I had to like, advice. Okay. So I was on a ski trip two weeks ago, with like one of my friends. And we were just like, you know, going on a girl's ski trip, whatever.

Meet a guy at a bar. We have like such good bands where we have so much fun. He adds like long story short. We end up going on a ski date.

Like two days after we meet. And let me tell you, you learn a lot about how we're doing on that ski left when you're trapped with them for a couple of hours.

And he has like so much fun. Like the date like turns into like a 36 hour tape. Like ski, we drink, we have lunch, we hook up, whatever we go to sleep. We make the next day. We ski again.

Kind of crazy. Anyway, he's like, I would love to come to you again. He's from out in Denver. I live in New York. He's never been to New York before.

I'm like, yeah, vacation, Megan's like on a high like I'm going to like do whatever. Like come on through like who cares. No one's ever actually booked the flight. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I get a text from him that he booked the flight and coming to New York for the first time on Friday.

This Friday.

Like this upcoming Friday. Like it's two days. Okay.

Anyway, so I have like a pretty like these in itinerary for a first New York arrival, like whatever that part of them are really worried about. But like, my question to you last advice is like,

how do I like keep up these like good vibes for three, now it's two years with three nights, which is a little bit of a stretch on his end, but besides the point.

That and then also like I can't even ask this question, but like when you want to dinner, like, do I just pay to see food to get here? Like, what is like the proper protocol.

And then like in addition, like, I haven't like hooked up with someone three days in a row in my entire life. I've been single for like 10 years. Like, what do we, how do you do that?

I'm excited for you. It's going to be so fun. Are you kidding me? It's going to be a three day fuck fest. And the good part about New York is it's like, it's so interactive. Like, it's not like you live in like, oh, hi, like, you're going to be fine. Like, no offense to oh, hi, but there's just like, you know, there's like one winery into York. There's endless shit to do. And he's never been before. If you let's say we're absolute worst case scenario. You know, the vibes aren't quite the same. You know, you're struggling a little bit. You can go to a

get last minute tickets to a Broadway show. That takes up like five hours. You can take him to Times Square. That's very overwhelming for a person who's never been to Times Square before. Like, there is so much shit you can do. So I would have literally in your back pocket. Like, I would literally list out like five things on your phone of like things you can do if, you know, you need to take up time. Also, you can always fall back on your friends. Like, you should one of the three nights. You should be like, I'm going to take you to a fun bar that me and my friends go to. And how

some of your friends come meet him. That's that's so fun. And it takes the pressure off. Like, I remember this guy like who I was seeing in last year. He came from London. And, you know, I took him to to Emmett's bar because I was like, I just need a minute to like be with my friends and chill and like he can chill and and meet my friends. And it will just like make it more fun for you as well because it will be like not so much intense one on one shit. And as for paying he is a man. So he.

You will be paying for your dinner. Sorry. That's I'm going to hold hold firm on that one. Um, and the sex. Like, girl, it's going to be great. You're going to, you know, just do it. Do the most. Like, that's. Hooking up with someone three days in a row is perfect. Because then you can actually like learn what each other likes and actually get the rapport and like just be horny all the time. I think it's going to go great. Like, honestly, you have New Yorker, your fingertips. You don't have to be contending with ski gear. Like think about all the time to take skier on and off to like bang.

Um, it's going to be amazing. Yeah. Love it. All right. Thank you. I have a good feeling about it. But it's just like, whoa, you always like, you know, you know, if you wanted to be what I got, that's what we got to say, you know, I know you don't really love that sentence. Yeah. No, it's going to be amazing. This is exactly the right energy. This is very summer outside energy. And like he did it. Like he booked the flight and we have to commend him for that. You know, like that's we love that. We love we love energy. We love we love actually people who do things and don't just talk about them.

So I'm hoping you have the best trip ever. Have fun and don't don't be shy to lean on your friends. They're they're always there for you. If you need them. Sounds like a plan. I appreciate you always love you. Have fun. Bye. Bye. Okay. I love that. That's like the best possible outcome. Did he fall through too quickly though? No, she was like come to New York and he's like, I booked a flight in 48 hours. No, that's kind of crazy. That's that's quick. Think about how many calls we get on this.

You know, it's like a show that are like, I had a fling and like, I want to keep it going. But he didn't he didn't text me or didn't he didn't make a plan. Like actions speak a lot of the words. Like if a guy wants to see, this is a really good instance of like if a guy wants to see you, he will see you.

He'll book a flight the next day. Men are very simple. If they want you, they want you. There's two of us in the room. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah. Okay. Let's go to Morgan. Hi, Morgan. How are you?

I'm good. How are you? I'm good. Thanks for calling. What's going on? So my man, we've been dating for maybe a six months. Okay. He has a bestie who is she's female. She's married.

Okay. But definitely gives the vibe of has a bit of, I don't know, has her closet him a little bit. She does not like me and it's pretty open about it.

It's pretty much long story short. We're in like, I'm the same community and stuff. And she will just straight up like not say hi to me. It's very open that she doesn't really like me. Doesn't really like us together. And they are going to Europe together next month.

What? Wait, wait, wait, without you. Well, this trip had been planned like before we started today. There's a group of them going. There's like a group of four. Yeah, I'm not going.

And that's kind of a separate thing. It's more, I pretty much want your advice on like, how do tackle the mean girl vibe in like the community that we're all, you know, we all have mutual friends. We're all.

Yeah, um, each other quite a bit. And I was playing nice hardcore and then pretty much all of my friends are like, got a mature energy. Yeah, I'm just feeling conflicted because I'm just, I'm a good vibes girl. I want my man to feel good. He's been pretty supportive.

But I don't love the tension and it's, um, I just don't love the drama. No, of course not. Yeah, I, so I just have one question. Like how you said your man's been supportive and all this. Does he pass on?

Like if she were to say something negative about you, well, he passed that on and what, what is the framework?

Like, how does he frame it for you? Because I'm hoping that at least he understands how difficult this is for you and is like supportive.

And I would actually hope and look to him to be like, yo, you need to knock it off to his best friend because like clearly you guys are serious.

And clearly she has a, you know, a bee in her bonnet about you. So is he like kind of acting as your protector or what's the sense you got?

For sure. So he's like been pretty open about things that she said and stuff. And I think she's recently kind of laid off of that to him.

And I think he's taken a step back in their friendship. But now I kind of feel like that's almost at his fuel to the fire because I feel like she's like, you know, well now because of, because of, you know, her new, his new girlfriend, like he's, you know, not allowed to talk to me and all these things.

And really he has like openly said to me like, wow, I didn't realize how, you know, like mean girl, she was until we really started to get serious and until we were able to like, you know, point out these items.

So he's like an absolute peach. But again, there's now this interesting dynamic where I feel like she's maybe blaming me for that when I kind of support the friendship, but I also feel really uncomfortable and dynamic.

Not, you know, going to be able to be sustainable. Yeah, no, I agree. And I think like, why should you have to manage this adult woman when you are literally just trying to live your life? And that's really unfortunate.

I, you know, it sounds like you already tried the being super nice route. And if all your friends are telling you know you've got to fight fire with fire at this point, then I agree with them.

I think sometimes mean girls need to be looked in the eye and like for you to go boo because I think a lot of the time they think they're never you're never going to call their bluff.

You're never going to call them out. And I think it's time for you to start just being like serving it right back to her. However, I will say I think it would be who you to not speak too negatively.

And I'm not saying you do about her to your boyfriend. I think the cleanest way to do it is to like obviously enjoy your relationship, be supportive of your man, whatever, if she comes up, I would just be like super short, super neutral.

And when you see her in a group setting or whatever, be sure it be neutral, whatever, because I don't want it to seem like your, you know, shit talking her to your boyfriend. The last thing I would want is for her to cause a rift between you and your man.

So I think like in terms of the Europe thing, that would be hard for anyone to swallow like I would be pissed. I'd be like, Oh, great. Now he's going to go on this trip with her and she's going to be shit talking me and whatever.

But like the best thing you can do is just let go and and be neutral about her behind her back so that he has no reason to think that you're causing the drama.

And I hope also that if she continues to act like a child, your boyfriend, as he's already starting to see the truth will see it even more and be like, wow, she's really causing so much drama when my girlfriend is so chill, so sweet, not to say anything negative.

And I do think that like for the most part, the truth comes out. So you're playing this right, don't take any more shit from her. You don't have to be super nice to her, just be neutral and let her dick her own grave.

Okay, be neutral, be cool, come collected, be the community. I got it. Yeah, you got this like people like she'll make her bed and she'll have to lie in it. So just like let her do her thing.

Okay, thank you so much.

Thanks. You're the bad.

I love you. You're a good person. Don't let her get to you. Bye, baby.

Bye, bye.

Yeah, that's super tough. And also like whenever I hear those stories, it makes me sad because I am a big defender of guy girl best friendships. Obviously, I have a lot of best guy friends. And I when there's situations like that, it like gives that type of friendship a bad name. And it's like it doesn't have to be that way.

You can be nice to the girlfriends.

Is it bad? My mind went to like, does she get along with any of the other friends going to Europe for like eyes and ears on the ground?

Oh, yeah, wow. I picked the brain of safely to get like a good sense of what happens. If I'm that boyfriend, I'm clamming up about how much shit my friend was talking.

Yeah, no, I mean, if by the way, if I were her, I'd be I'd be I'd be booking a trip to Europe. I'd be like, oh, look at that. My point's got me there. I'll see you in Greece.

Whatever. Okay, we are going to go to a super quick break. I'm going to take lots more calls after this. I don't go anywhere.

Welcome back to this week's live exclusively on radio and the channel 102.

State gate. Well, we're not done with state gate. I don't think it's still a thing in your world on the interwebs on your social media.

People are still like messaging about it. And I think you mentioned it on the air. And I think we'll go into the audience and see if anyone has something strongly to add or thoughts on it.

Yeah, why don't we quickly? Why don't you retell just what happened last? It's one week ago today everyone. It's the anniversary of state gate.

Okay, a girl called she had gone out to a celebratory dinner with her boyfriend. And she said when they got to the state house, because she got a new job.

When they got to the state house, his her stomach hurt, she couldn't eat the food. They took the food home. And she was went to eat their leftovers. And he was like, what are you doing?

I, I, I want to eat those for lunch tomorrow. There was two burned pieces. He was like, you can eat those. And she already decided to break up with him.

Her question was, should she tell him or should she just break up with him? People were very split.

Yeah. And the insanity, obviously, being that why was he, he was, he said he was going to take it for lunch the next day.

Yeah. And he drove within an hour and a half back to his apartment and then drove it an hour and a half back to L.A.

where he worked. And her thing was like, he was just being so weird about the leftovers.

As time has passed, the audience has been turning on state girl.

Oh, they turned on her. Like, oh, it's official. Oh, it's official. Yeah. A lot of people, I'm not, don't shoot the messenger.

I'm just telling you what people are saying on the interwebs. They're saying that they thought that it was like a common occurrence because she was like, my stomach always hurts when we get to a restaurant.

And a lot of people were saying, there's more to the story, which is like such a classic, like, Internet thing to be like, what's, like, who's leftovers?

A lot of people were asking whether the steak was his or whether it was hers. And I, I do think that like mildly makes a difference.

But Steve said, usually when you go to a steakhouse, you're sharing everything. You're not getting like a personal steak.

I mean, I, I like to get my own steak, but whatever. Anyway, he was saying that, no, it's, it's, it's their steak together.

And even if it was, like, if you're dating someone, you should let them meet your leftovers. But I don't know.

Do we have any steak gate?

All right. So let's go show it. If you want to have a comment on steak, let's start right here.

Well, I think the sharing part is really irrelevant, because as you said, you're dating a guy. And this is where you see their true values and little stuff like this.

So if I go home, whether you ask her not, I, the steak, my stomach was hurting. Like, it wasn't my control before, but now I'm hungry.

You, you need to, like, that this shouldn't even be an argument. And I think she's in all her right to break up with him because, yeah, it, it just, I think in melting to other areas of life, not only that.

And I, I just think it's, it shouldn't even be an argument.

No, I agree with you. I think my, my honest gut reaction is like, is I believe that he felt like she ruined the celebratory dinner, be by her stomach rate.

This is what I, I imagine happened. And he was pissy about it. And he was being cruel and bitchy because he felt like, oh, is my night. We were celebrating. And you bring it.

Is that right? No. But that's my honest take as to what happened. Because, and you're right. Like, how someone acts in those moments. Like, it's, it's really fucking weird to be like, you can eat the burned bits.

Like, that's fucking strange. Like, that's like Cinderella vibes. Like, what are you going to tell her to sleep outside next? Like, Jesus Christ.

Like, so yeah, I, I agree. I, that is my honest read about what happened. I would honestly love her to call back in and see it because I want to know if he, if he, if she told him why.

I think I offered money if she can get him to call him. I would love, I mean, like as you're dumping him, if you could be like, end call this number.

Yeah. I would love it. Right here. I know.

Tell me. So I think it says so much that he, it'd be one thing if he was like, you can't eat the steak, but to offer her the burnt pieces. Yeah.

Almost feels like he has zero respect for her. Yeah. Like, I have an age bought boyfriend. And I've had stomach aches. And if we get home. And even if there's not left overs, the man's offered to make me fit. Like order food.

Like, I just think he doesn't respect her. And I think she's making the right decision by breaking up. I agree. I agree. He was looking upon his shirt. It's like, I just, that's not cool.

Does anyone, so the internet is turning on her. Does anyone think like she's in the wrong, like something's weird about her calling it. It's fine. If not, I just the internet does.

Oh, the TikTok commenters do. Yeah. Well, I mean, I don't think there's something wrong with her. But if she already had in her head premeditated that she wanted to break up with him, I feel like she's using this as an excuse to say, well, he acted this way.

I can finally break up with him, which, yeah, it's a red flag. Like, you can eat the bird pieces. But has she been plotting this? How long has she been waiting? Has she? Did she go into this dinner knowing she didn't want to be there? Yeah.

Like, was she working herself up because she knew this was a celebratory dinner for him? And she didn't want to be with him anyway. So that's why her stomach hurt. Like, I think there are more scenarios. But if she's like, yeah, I wanted to break up with him. Then we had to go to this dinner. Like, okay, break up with him.

You don't have to eat the bird pieces. You don't have to share it ever again. Just be done.

So one comment on the TikTok did say, I feel like there's more at play. And this has been like a long time coming. And this was like the straw that broke the camel's back.

And I agree with her. She brought like no one would ever tea. If any man ever told me to eat the bird pieces, like, Lord have mercy, guys. Lord have mercy.

But it just, yeah, it was good. It was it will go down and infamy is the state gate. I mean, it's it's not slowing down. It does seem like I guess you are right. Like the TikTok commenters are turning on poor steak.

They seem to turn on everyone. Yeah, they turn on everyone. Yeah, they all your followers turn on you. They turn on me. So yeah, it's like, I'm like, welcome to the club.

Okay, let's take another caller. Let's go to Katie. Hi, Katie. How are you? Welcome to the show.

Hi. Hi.

Likewise, welcome. What's going on with you?

You know, I got a good old fashioned situation. So basically, I met this guy at a bar and we really hit it off. And then we hooked up the day after.

And the hookup was so fire. And you know, I've just been in a dry cell. I will say, like, it was the first good thing up in a while.

And so I casually asked in the end, I was like, how would you feel about being friends with benefits?

Just because I needed something casual. And we hugged up again after that. But did he say yes? Was he like, was he like, yeah, like, of course, that sounds amazing.

Oh, yeah, he was like, down. That's perfect. Let's make this a weekly thing. Great.

And then the second time though, it was normal. And then like some intimate things started to happen. Like what?

Cuddly, super kissy. And then after that, he like fully went and took me to breakfast. Like it was just it was giving not friends with benefits.

And so I followed your main advice that I already know that's tried and true. And I created an itch list.

But I just need like advice to make sure that I don't catch feelings. And that I keep the boundary for what this is because I cannot date him.

Like, he is so icky. I cannot date.

Oh, why is he icky?

How long do you have like 29 minutes?

Like, but what's the so because I was going to say like why is it why are you so afraid of catching feelings with for him?

Like what variety of icky is he?

So like we don't align politically, which is very important to me.

Which is like a big thing. Yeah. He's also the same height as me, which like love a short king, but that is very important to me.

And he's also just very fat. Like he's kind of Peter Pan syndrome. Like he's 27, but kind of stuck in like he just never wants to grow up.

Like I just know it would not be a good not be a good relationship.

Yeah. The kicker. Are you ready for this? I'm ready.

He wants to quit his job to quote unquote do his own thing.

Oh, yeah. That's that's it for me. That's the one for me. Yeah.

We love a man with absolutely zero plan.

Yeah. So it's like we just we can't date. It can't happen.

I think like, okay, for me personally, if I have incredible sex with someone like multiple times and we do cute stuff, like I will catch feelings.

Like I'm a human being. I'm not like I'm not a cyborg.

Like you know, and so I think you have to acknowledge the possibility that you will catch feelings.

But if you have that as your north star, like that you don't want to date him and it's just not going to be a thing, then I think it's okay.

And allow yourself to have fun, like unpopular opinion, catching like a little light sprinkling of feelings for someone is like kind of like what else are we doing really?

Okay. Like I would love a little emotional melodrama in my life right now. And you said you've been through a dry spell.

So like, look, if you fall catch yourself doing like heart eyes emoji at him once in a while, I don't think it's a bad thing.

You know, you're not going to date him. So just allow yourself to have fun. And if you feel like a little light sprinkling of it, then just cool it off.

Like don't see him as much that week. And another really crucial thing is go on other dates, like keep exploring other people because that will help you moderate yourself.

You know what I mean?

Gosh, you're just the best. That's so true.

I love you. Bring fun back.

Yeah, bring fun back. Exactly. Just, you know what, a little crush, a little, you know, intrigue is perfect.

So I think, I think just enjoy yourself. You've got a good hook up. So just enjoy.

Okay, that's the best advice.

Love you. Okay, fabulous. We'll enjoy. Love you, baby. Have a great, I enjoy your hook up. I'm jealous. Bye.

I wish he's glad with he wants to do his own thing. Yeah.

Yeah, that's enough for me. You could have, that goal could have been 11. That could have been an email, right?

But it's hard. It's like when you actually meet someone you have chemistry with, it's like rare. It honestly is.

Like I, I'm going through a phase where I just find everyone not attractive. And like it's when you find someone who's like hot and like the hook up is good.

It's hard to say no. And it's also hard not to catch feelings. Okay, let's go to Tia. Hey Tia, how are you?

Hey, thanks for you. I'm good. Thanks for calling. What's going on?

Of course, I literally never called because I'm always working in that. But I was like, it's a beautiful day in New York.

I'm just going to like get up for my seat and call. Love. Absolutely.

So I, I wanted to talk to you basically just about like dating in New York. And I've lived here a couple of years now.

I feel like I always try to exude like the summer outside energy. And, you know, I, you know, wasn't on the dating apps for a really long time.

And, like, no phones. I really try to like, you know, me and my friends are trying to be as engaged and possible not on our phones. And like, you know, always like looking for the opportunity to meet someone.

And I feel like we've done like a decent job when we're out and about. Like, I've, you know, met a lot of people here. How old are you recently? I'm 24. Okay.

Yeah, 24. So recently, I like met this guy out. And it was like best conversation I ever had. Like, you know, it was just one of those where I'm like, oh, yeah, we had the best night.

We were talking at the bar or like he literally didn't leave my side the entire night.

Like normally no one to like become obsessive quickly. But I was like, he is like everything I've been looking for. Like I have gone on tons of dates in New York, which is all been good and fun learned so much about myself.

But I was like, this guy's moving. Anyways, I'm just waiting for him to text me the next day. And like waiting, waiting, waiting. And of course, I'm like walking through like, you feel it's like, okay, mind you going to text me.

And I like look up and he like walks right past me. It's like so classic. And I'm like, but he hasn't texted me yet. Like he's on his phone. Anyway, he texted me later that night. It was like a 10 p.m. text. It was just like nothing special at all. It was like so nice meeting you last night. I responded. It was like great to meet you as well. Like didn't go anywhere. Yeah.

I feel like I've been in this cycle. Like what is happening before we're like, I meet guys. They're fun. They're cool. And then literally nothing comes that comes with it. They don't want to take you out on a date. And then on the flip the dating apps. Like I tried them again recently. And it's like you have to really fit through to actually have someone.

You know, I don't know that I have like a really satisfying answer other than to validate what you're feeling. Nobody can be bothered to do anything. Like it's it's really sad because I'm sure

that the guy who you met at the bar, like I'm sure you had a good time too. But it's just like general, like lack of effort is kind of the norm. So you're not the only one feeling this. I feel it too. I'm over 10 years older than you. And it's the same with guys in my own age group. I couldn't believe it.

It's like I do for what it's worth. I am a lot happier having deleted all my apps except for one. And I rarely use it. I just I go on like once a week. I would say. And I love that you're putting the energy out there to meet people in person.

Again, like I always am honest with you guys when I don't have a perfect answer. And I don't have one because that is just the vibe right now. It's low effort. It's like guys don't really want to take you on dates. And then the apps are bad. And it's just kind of situations like this where you're like scratching your head and you're like, I don't know if you're going to get it.

I'm honest with you guys when I don't have a perfect answer. And I don't have one because that is just the vibe right now. It's low effort. It's like guys don't really want to take you on dates. And then the apps are bad. And it's just kind of situations like this where you're like scratching your head and you're like, wait, we had a good time. Why wouldn't you want to see me again? Why wouldn't you want to see if we can hang out again.

But what I will say is your head is in the right place. You are going out with your friends, which is like, I mean, half the time people will call me and they'll be like, I hate leaving my house.

I have social anxiety. I don't want to go in the apps. I don't drink. I don't like anything. But how can I find a boyfriend? And I'm like, well, let me think about that one.

Like at least you're putting yourself out there. And that's great. And it will serve you well. And I know this is the annoying part of my advice incoming. But I promise you, like you are so fucking young. And if I could go back and tell myself something at 24, I'd be like literally do not even think about boys.

Like it will come. It will happen. The only thing I wish I'd done is spend even more time with my friends, making memories, doing silly shit, doing shit for the hell of it.

Like really just grounding yourself and your friends and thinking about like all the memories you want to make, like your age is so special because you have the entire world at your fingertips.

Like you have the whole of New York City. So I would just lean into that and be like, guys, let's fuck around and like go to a new neighborhood today that we've never been to and like try this cool restaurant just for the hell of it.

And just just enjoy the time because boys will come and they're not even that great anyway. So it's just like, you know, focus on your girlfriends and all the other shit will fall into place.

Totally. No, thank you so much. That's like such incredible advice and cheering it for you. I feel like actually resonates even more.

So thank you. I appreciate that. I actually do have a date tonight and it was a guy in the gym the other week.

Oh, there you go. We'll see where that goes again. Just trying to get out there, but that's really incredible advice. I also have one last thing for the community before I go.

Yeah. And I loved your episode on like all of our loving all of our female parts and everything. And it's something that like, you know, we're all navigating and especially like young 24 year olds.

Yeah. You know, the culture of porn and everything and how much like social media has worked our perception of what's normal. Yeah.

But there's this resource I thought would be cool to share is called labial library.org. Oh, yeah. I've actually seen it. Yeah.

Okay. I think it'd be cool for you to share with the community if you can, but I just thought it was like when I listened to that episode.

I'm like, everyone needs to just go and like look at that and just know like what's normal and what's not. I think a lot of things you talk about.

I love that you brought that up. It's a great resource. And honestly, it's like, I think it should be taught in schools to try and undo all the negative conditioning that women have for their lady parts.

It absolutely kills me the amount of shame that women carry just like just for existing, just like for having a vagina like it's actually so so upsetting to me.

And it's a great resource because it's like everybody looks different like literally everybody. There's no normal like whatever you are born with is perfect for you.

And like I just could cry when I think about all the negative impact that porn has had on women and making them so ashamed and making them not enjoy their bodies.

So thank you for sharing that resource. And I hope that if you need to, you will go look it up because it's fabulous. And you'll see we are all different and we are all beautiful.

Thank you for talking about all that too. It's like it helped me and I'm sure it's helped like so many other young women.

So I love you.

Good. I love you. Thanks for calling. Bye, babe.

Yeah. Bye, baby.

Bye, baby.

Now I feel weird if I don't say bye, baby, but I can't say it first because that would be corny.

They say the catchphrase. You react to the cat.

Correct. Correct. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that was just I completely feel her. I'm kind of like in the same place where I'm like like I put the effort in last night.

And I was a disaster going on another date tonight, which is honestly there's so much lore with the guy tonight. But otherwise I'm like I haven't really been meeting people.

But I haven't really been somewhere else hiding yet. It's starting. We're spring training now. We're spring training. Yeah.

Last night was spring training. So I'm spring training again tonight.

Wait, this is as you and Lauren say tea.

Tea.

Are we calling it spring training?

We're calling it to fish.

Why are you breaking news?

Yes, yes. And I think it will be the episode next week. This week I'm going to talk about that book that I love strangers.

And then next week I'm going to talk about spring training. So that's my plan.

Also really quick. You said, like, oh, I'm having a. Am I crazy?

I was like, your date really didn't sound so bad last night other than you.

You catfished yourself. I catfished myself.

Yeah.

Like I don't like show of hands like sorry audience at home. Show of hands. Does her date sound that horrible raising hand?

No, it didn't sound that bad. It wasn't that bad.

Okay, but just the way you're betraying it. You're saying it's bad.

No, we had fun. It just was more of a friend vibe.

Like I like to feel like like super like the guy is like the date I went on whenever Saturday or whatever.

Like I was like, oh, he thinks I'm super hot and I feel super hot around him.

And I think that that's like what every woman deserves is to feel like super super hot in someone's presence.

And I don't know if it was because I catfished myself, but like I just didn't feel like I don't know.

I just didn't feel like that. I was like that hot to him, which is like again rock solid self a seam.

And I also, I just think we were like physically, you know, I don't know.

I listen, I'm not making you call it.

Don't make me second guess what I said to you.

I just was like it doesn't sound you've told some doozy even off the air about some bad dating stories.

No, it wasn't that bad. He's he's cool. I would I genuinely be friends with him.

Like I thought he was really we had a good vibe. I would I hope to be friends with him.

Just what I did another fucking guy friend. Perfect.

Oh my god, he's calling right now.

No, he's not.

I know.

Okay, let's go to Joe. Hey, Joe, how are you?

Hi, Tings. How are you?

I'm good. Thanks for calling. Welcome to the show. What's going on?

Thank you. I need some big sister advice for a second.

Okay, tell me.

Okay, so I'm I'm 26 and a handful of my friends are kind of moving into different stages of their lives.

Like a friend of mine just got engaged. Another friend just announced that she is having a baby.

Some of my other friends are getting into like more serious relationships and such.

And I am not and that's not necessarily something that I am like seeking out right now.

Sure.

But sometimes my friends will kind of.

I don't know if they mean to or not, but it feels like they're adding pressure to me dating or like moving into those like lifestyle as well.

And I'm just going to figure out how to like still appreciate those friendships and enjoy the time with them.

But also like stay true to myself and what I want.

That makes sense.

Yeah, absolutely.

I mean, it sounds like your friend group is going through the splinter era a little bit early.

I mean, 26, you said you're 26 right?

Yeah.

Yeah, that's like so early for all this to be happening, but you know, every friend group is different.

And you know, I would just say that I'm glad you know who you are and what you want in the place you're at.

And I think you really have to honor where you are in your life.

I think women in particular get into a lot of trouble when they try and when they compare themselves.

Comparison is the thief of joy, right? And it's like I think it's even more even deeper than that though, as well as robbing you of your joy,

comparing yourself to where your friends are can make you do things that you're not ready to do.

And if you're not in a place where you want to settle down or look for a serious relationship yet, then you shouldn't.

And I my hope for all of you in the community is that you really honor where you are and don't allow other people's circumstances to influence how you feel about your life.

Because your path is your own.

Your timeline is your own and the more you honor that, the happier you will be as a person.

And you know, I would just ask for your friends if they say, oh, when are you going to settle down?

You can say, you know, I'm really loving my time right now. I'm really loving my life.

You know, you can just say it like that in a positive way.

And you know, don't you can celebrate them when your friends have good things happen to them.

Absolutely. It's like a feather in all of your caps.

Like you feel like you're all getting married. You're all having a baby. You're all getting a new job. You're all doing this and that.

And you can feel joy for them, even though you're not ready to do that too.

And stand your ground emotionally and really again, just honor where you are because that's the secret sauce to being happy.

Okay, perfect. Thank you.

Yeah, of course. I love you. Thanks for calling.

Thank you so much.

Bye.

Bye.

Okay. Yeah, I loved her. Wow, that's early. I like, I wanted to be like, what city do you live in that is happening already?

Not in New York, because in New York, everyone's, I'm like 35 and I'm like, maybe I should think about getting a boyfriend next year.

That's kind of my timeline. Anyway, super quick break will be taking more calls right after this. Don't go anywhere.

Welcome back to this meeting's live exclusively on Radio Andy channel 102.

Okay, so yesterday I was doing AMA and or Monday and someone wrote in and she was like, oh, my coworker is super, super negative.

Like always complaining. What should I do? And I said, why don't you look at her directly and be like, you know, you're really, you complain a lot and like you're responsible for the energy that you bring.

And I think you're, you know, you should try being a little bit less negative. I got absolutely shredded in the DMs. They were like, Tings, are you out of your fucking mind?

Did you snort crack? Like, this is the most insane advice you've ever given. Am I wrong for that?

You're asking me? Yeah. Yeah, that's fucking crazy.

Yeah, because like we don't work out of our apartment with our two cats and Lauren. Like that's crazy. Like if I, like at my job, if I go up to a coworker and I'm like, stop complaining.

You're, you're, you're happiness is yours to take. Get out of here. It's going to cause even more friction. No, probably HR getting.

No, that's what people were saying. People were like, HR here. This is the worst advice. Like she would probably go to HR for this. And I'm like, okay, I'm sorry. I'm very direct.

Also, when someone wrote to me and she was like, Tings, as a southerner, we hate conflicts. We would never do it this way. Like this is crazy.

I just, I would say that in my corporate job. I would say it. No problem to someone. I'd be like, why are you so negative? Like that's insane.

And also, like you would talk to your manager about the negativity, like seeping into your team.

No, I would just say directly to the person. Because that's going to cause more friction between you and your coworker.

I don't know. I stand by what I said. I think sometimes people need to be told.

When's the last time you worked in an office?

You sound like the tics.com. It's now.

Do you know how many burners I have just been begging you?

Just being like, when is the last time you worked in an office? Wait, I mean, okay.

24, 15.

2015.

So five years before COVID. Yeah.

Do you know much has changed in those 11 years?

No, you can't say anything now. I know that much.

Well, I would still say it. I would say it in a nice way.

I feel like people thought I would say it in like a condescending way.

I'd be like, you know, Betty, like.

Alright, wait. Let's roll. Let's roll play.

Okay.

I think socks. Like I hated here. The coffee machine doesn't work.

Our boss sucks. This desk sucks. Oh, can I say something to you?

Of course, Chris. You know, I'm sure this is going to be really helpful and insightful and constructive.

I totally agree. Our boss sucks. Like, trust me.

I like think about him all the time. He's so annoying.

But I just think like complaining all the time is actually bringing the vibe with the office down.

And I feel like we should just try to be positive because we have to be here every day.

And I know it sucks, but I just feel like I don't know.

I feel like it would be like better if we don't talk so much about how bad it is.

I know you're a vibes girl, Christina, but for me,

I'm more about getting my work done.

And when something's wrong in affecting my performance,

I'm going to have to be able to talk about it in an open setting with members of my team.

Totally, Betty. But like, I'm also a person with feelings.

And when you are talking so negatively all the time, it makes me sad. It brings my mood down.

Oh, Christina, don't cry.

I think you were great. You got me. I think you were great.

I actually was the end when you got high pitched in.

Exactly. You were going to cry for a second.

Okay, fine. I can say when I'm wrong, perhaps I was wrong on that.

Perhaps let's take another call or let's go to Jordan really quickly.

Hey, Jordan, how are you? What's up?

Is this me?

Yeah. Hi. Welcome to the show.

Hi. Oh, my gosh. This is so exciting.

Okay. So I love by baby. I know we all love it.

I listened to it in real time.

Good.

Thought it was so funny.

Okay.

But I'm here to say justice for lots of love because the way I started saying that in my everyday life,

because I listened to this podcast so much when I stayed to my family.

I love that. Oh, my God. I don't even say.

I guess I do say lots of love all the time.

You do.

Yeah.

It's so sweet. It's so cute.

After every call, you're like, by me, lots of love.

And I say it all the time now.

And like,

hmm.

That makes me so happy.

And now we say it in an accent.

Like lots of love.

Like.

Oh, wait.

This was such a cutie call.

I love lots of love too.

I don't know if that's a British.

It's an American thing as well to say it.

No.

Yeah.

I mean, I've heard it in America.

Yeah.

I don't know.

I don't know how to answer.

I don't know if it's like a pervasive.

I just feel like when I hear it, I hear like the British mom's being like, oh, oh, lots of love darling.

Lots of love.

That's the voice I say it in my head.

And then do you guys.

I'm like, lots of love.

Who is Olivia Atwood when she was on?

Yeah.

She, I just pictured her saying it.

Yeah.

It is a very British thing.

But I love that.

Okay.

Well, now I'm going to be aware of it.

I love lots of love too.

I feel like people aren't gearing up to say buy baby.

I always throw lots of love because it feels like a good, neutral, other one.

So thank you for bringing to my attention.

That was such a sweet call.

Yeah.

Have a great day.

Lots of love.

And buy baby to you.

Bye, baby.

Bye, baby.

Now I feel like people feel like they have to say it.

You guys don't have to say it if you don't want to.

No.

Nobody has to say it.

But I think you're making it a thing.

You know, like, just like if it comes naturally, they should say buy baby.

But you do get buy baby a couple.

You get buy baby to a couple times a show.

No, for sure.

Yeah.

Okay.

How many minutes do we have?

We have three.

Three.

You were just telling the audience about how you have to wrap up.

You got three and a half minutes, buddy.

Should we take it a call?

All right.

Let's go to, let's go to Michaela really quickly.

Hi, Michaela.

How are you?

Hi.

Hi.

I'm good.

How are you?

I'm good.

So tell me what's going on.

And I'll do my best to answer quickly.

Okay.

So I'm 33.

I live in LA.

I've been on the dating journey for a really long time.

And it's been really hard.

But I met this guy about a month ago.

We did it often.

Immediately.

We spent a ton of time together in the past month.

When we're together, we're like.

We can't keep our hands off each other.

Like it's super hot.

And he's like a lot of what I've been looking for this whole time.

And I really, really like him.

But I'm just, I have this, like,

pit in my stomach after the last time seeing him.

That, like, something is off.

And I haven't heard from him since Sunday.

And I think I know what you're going to say.

But I just, like, need to hear, like, a sister tell me.

But, like, I, I don't know.

I just feel like he maybe isn't as into it as I am.

Yeah.

And so, like, what would you do in that, in that circumstance?

It could be the flip.

I don't mean to scare you.

But it could be the flip, which is, of course,

the random thing that happens sometimes a month into when you're seeing someone

and all the sudden the energy shifts and your friends are like,

no, you're crazy.

And you're like, no, I know something is different.

Like, I feel it in my gut.

And I do think that if you're seeing this guy pretty consistently and it's Wednesday

and you haven't heard from him from Sunday, that's not great.

Because you should feel comfortable, right?

Like, let's back up.

When you're seeing someone, whether they're texting you or not,

you should feel comfortable.

You shouldn't feel anxious based on only the last time you saw him, right?

So, that makes me feel like, I don't like how you feel.

Like, right?

Like, forget about him.

How about you?

You feel anxious right now?

That's not good.

Listen, play it out.

You'll have your answer in a couple days.

If you feel like texting him and just, you know, breaking the tension,

go for it, because really box theory, it doesn't matter.

But, like, just don't forget, like, it's about how you feel.

Don't feel like, oh, he's not into me.

Be like, this is making me feel anxious.

And that's not good.

That's what matters, okay?

Don't make it feel like you've done something wrong.

Because you haven't.

Nothing's changed.

He might have flipped.

But again, that has a very little to do with you and everything to do with him.

So, please, please just remember that over the next couple days

and know that you should always feel comfortable.

I have to wrap the show now.

I love you.

You'll be okay either way.

Thank you.

I promise.

I love you.

Bye, babe.

Okay, you guys.

That was our show.

That was so fun.

Our first show with a live audience.

It was added another fun dynamic.

I love you all so, so, so very much.

I'm going to catch a plane back to New York for my next date.

Wow.

Can't, can't, can't, can't keep me down.

And I will be back with a, an episode on strangers on Friday.

So, if you have, or haven't read the book, either way, it's going to be good.

Until then, be good.

Bye.

Bye.

Bye.