It’s Not About the Sock: Understanding Resource Guarding with Sonia Fetherling

What do you do when your dog turns into a tiny (or not-so-tiny) dragon over… a sock?

This conversation with Sonia Fetherling goes far beyond “how to fix it.”

Because what looks like stubbornness, dominance, or “bad behavior” is often something much more vulnerable underneath.

We talk about resource guarding in a way that feels… human.

The fear.
The tension.
The pressure it creates in a home.

And what becomes possible when we stop trying to control the behavior, and start understanding what’s driving it.

Sonia shares not just her professional experience, but the journey with her own dog, who pushed her to question everything she thought she knew.

This isn’t about quick fixes.

It’s about trust, patience… and seeing your dog (and yourself) differently.

🐾 Key Takeaways

👉 The one mistake even experienced dog guardians make with resource guarding
Trying to stop the behavior instead of understanding what’s underneath it.

👉 Why the “quick fix” approach to dog behavior will get you stuck
Because lasting change doesn’t come from control, it comes from shifting emotions, trust, and safety.

👉 The truth behind resource guarding
It’s not about your dog being difficult.
It’s often about insecurity, unpredictability, and a need to feel safe.

👉 How to avoid the biggest mistake when your dog guards objects
Taking things away without building trust first… which can make the behavior worse.

👉 Why it’s actually more simple (and more powerful) to think in terms of “recovery”
Not fixing your dog, but supporting them in an ongoing process of feeling safer.

👉 How a simple shift - from conflict to collaboration - can change everything
A dog bringing you a stolen shoe to trade?
That’s not failure. That’s communication.

👉 The often-overlooked factor that changes behavior faster than training techniques
The relationship. The trust. The predictability.

💬 A Favorite Moment

“It’s a marathon, not a sprint…
Sometimes you’re running, sometimes you’re hobbling.
But you just keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

00:00 Podcast Welcome
00:38 Meet Sonya Best of Behavior
02:16 Training Without Owning
03:56 Mentors and Dolphin Lessons
05:09 Marathon Not Sprint
10:38 Patience and Family Dynamics
12:30 In Person and Virtual Work
13:55 Cats and Referrals
14:50 Finding Her Niche
14:58 Adopting Kismet After Loss
17:59 Shelter Surprise Resource Guarding
18:39 Living With A Thief
19:20 Dogs As Teachers
20:29 Beyond Counterconditioning
21:28 Socks Shoes And Swallows
22:26 Root Causes Of Guarding
23:04 When Trading Backfires
24:05 Decompression And Deprivation
27:15 Board And Train Reset
29:27 Recovery Not Cure
31:31 Reward The Swap
33:41 Where To Find Sonia
35:27 Closing Thanks And Outro

Find out more and connect with Sonia

Sonia is the owner of Best of Behavior, a dog training and behavior consulting business based near Chicago, Illinois.

With over 25 years of experience, she works with dogs and their humans on everything from reactivity and aggression to everyday training—with a deeply compassionate, relationship-focused approach.

What makes Sonia’s work stand out is her willingness to go beyond surface-level solutions and explore the emotional roots of behavior—both in dogs and their humans.

She also works professionally with cats (yes, really 😉), helping with complex household dynamics and behavior challenges.

🔗 Connect with Sonia

🌐 Website: https://www.bestofbehavior.com

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bobdogtraining

📷 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bestofbehavior/?hl=en

As always, to find out all about Soul Touched by Dogs, go to https://soultouchedbydogs.com