It Was a Simpler Time...

0:00This is an I Heart podcast guaranteed human. It was a simpler time. It's one more thing. I'm strong and getty. One more thing. Before we get to how late night TV has changed, latest dolly parton nugget, which I feel like I've had enough hope, but New York City's Manhattan bro has declared September 25th dolly parton appreciation day. I thought why why the date is 925 925 touching and jivey. That's clever. Geeksu celebrate every May the fourth. Tip their caps in admiration. Or March 14th. Pi day. All right. Um.

1:00Explain this to his Michael. Well, every, uh, every day I look for late night jokes for the show. And it's really hard to find stuff that is just plain humor is not political. It's just just fun stuff. And, uh, everything is so dark now. And even the number one show gut failed. It's just a dark show. I mean, it's funny, but it's dark humor. So you dug up a couple of the dark gut failed jokes to make the point. And then you've got an old Leno and an old letterman to show us how times have changed. So let's go with it. Girl scouts can now earn badges by learning about the pillars of Islam and visiting mosques. Well, the downside is they can now be stoned to death for failing to sell enough thin mints. No, that's dark. Is a dark joke? You would not have made that joke very many years ago. The British government revealed that over the past few years at least 100 children under the age of 12 were forced into marriage. Authorities became suspicious when they noticed all brides were registered at

2:00Toys R Us. Goose. I get where he's going with that. But, uh, yeah, that's late night humor. Do we know what years these were? Leno had to be way back in. Yeah, I don't have the years. Dunno. At a home depot right here in West Covina, man grabbed a hand saw, tried to saw both his arms off. Still couldn't get the attention of a salesperson. That's a real story. Guy tried to saw both his arms off. If he saw one arm off, how do you? How do you get the other arm? I mean, I'm. That's pretty funny. The guy got the one off and thought, oh, I did not. And he had his hand occurred. Well, red lobster going out of business bankrupt. Yep. Here's how I found out CBS had to move my retirement dinner to

3:05Olive Garden. Right. For whatever reason I get letter, old letterman's early like NBC letterman's in my algorithm on YouTube and I'm a sucker for it. I was such a good show back in the day and nothing political ever. So good though. So wacky. Yeah, I haven't gotten a force fed those yet. Maybe I'll intentionally look for one and that'll take care of me for the next 10 years or so. But it's the joy of the crowd. You know, the crowd is just so different. Well, people want to be angry. They want to be fed their point of view that they go to you. Go to a gut felt for a certain point of view to be fed deal and you go to Jimmy Kimmel, for instance, or Colbert. I was just going to say a nice year in Yango would have been a Kimmel. You know, blasted how stupid Republicans are Trump or whatever, how racist in the crowd going crazy. Well, we come out of this surely are people are people tired enough of this. They will come out of it at some point or no, maybe.

4:06Yeah. All right. Does this need any introduction? I just gave you the or Michael. Just a young woman created a song about the dating with dating with men and the problems that she runs into. Okay. And a cafe on 23rd and 9th and with a guy third gate, keep up. All right. Prior, he's like, come back to mine twice. He asked twice this guy. Now don't get me wrong. He's got good qualities. He's doing very well in this economy probably raised on proper ideologies. But is that enough if I was desperate? Probably see, I don't want to sleep with him with that face who knows what the he's been. But that's not the reason and not because he thought that I was in denies. And it's because I don't feel understood. And I think I should because sex should be good. So I ask about his childhood. Big mistake horrible. Had date. So her comment there has clever little thing. Her comment of with a face like that who knows where he's been.

5:06Was that it? He's so good looking. Oh, but he's had a lot of sex with different people. Is that what that meant? It's kind of how I heard it. Gets an interesting thing. You're so good looking. Oh, but you've had sex with a lot of people. Hmm. What have you never heard that angle before? Hmm. I think you may be overthinking this deer. I don't know. Which is the key to the whole online dating thing. I'll tell you. That's why I got it. It's just I feel like everybody's so cynical in like just red flag heavy for things that in the normal world would have come about later in the relationship and would have been fine. It's just there's so many different weird things. Part partially because if you are above a certain level of looks, you got so many people lined up. You just you just constantly toss this one aside. That one side. This one aside. I'll go out to them. Okay. I'm trying to it's not it's not perfect. Nobody is. This isn't perfect. Throw that aside. Go to the next one. It's just it's like her song there. It's just a whole bunch of reasons why I'll go to the next one.

6:08It's a weird world. Very weird. Yeah. Wouldn't mind hearing more of that bit. It was fairly clever and I liked it and funny and I'd like to know where where she was heading. But we don't have that audio. So never mind. You wouldn't think you could do a stoning Girl Scouts joke and get away with it. But I went. You know, as long as we're rolling audio, I want to hear this ordering fast food in 2026 thing. We didn't we didn't play that. Did we? All right. Let's listen to your total 1738. That can't be right. I only ordered a cheeseburger combo. My mistake. I didn't need to say combo 2381. Oh, we do offer financing for any combo meal purchase. Oh, perfect. But what about your credit score? 439. Not so perfect. Perhaps we can interest you any hamburger with no ketchup. No, I need to combo. What if I get someone to co-sign on a cheeseburger? What else am I supposed to do? Cash out your 401k. How do you think I used to pay for the chicken tender combos? Take out a he-lock on your home.

7:08I already did that for the chocolate chicks. Don't grade your car. I already downgraded to a PT cruiser with 250,000 miles on it. Yeah, it's not possible to downgrade more than that. Affordability, Jack. That's the key word for the midterms. That's another that. Well, I guess that's it.