Jack Benny - Gang Visits the Central Park Zoo the

Can you grab one more thing?

I'll come back up pretty soon.

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That's the sound of drumsticks, setting the tempo for change.

In the 60s, stacks records in Memphis defied segregation

with multicultural bands like Booker T and the MGs.

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The general program starring Jack Fanny with Johnny Green is his orchestra.

The orchestra opens a program with don't say a word just dance.

One of the strongest influences in our lives, I think, is color.

Black and white is fine for an etching, but we all need bright colors to keep our spirits up.

But it comes to color, that's where yellow shines.

It's the liveliest gas desert you can find.

Sun-shiny orange, shimmering green, the deep rich tones of rose and crimson,

six different colors from which to choose.

Everyone's lovely, clear and glowing.

And when it comes to taste, ah, that's where yellow shines again.

For its packed, crammed, full, delicious, real fruit flavor.

Flavor is truly luscious as a fresh ripe fruit itself.

No other gelatin dessert can equal jello's extra-rich flavor.

So don't accept any substitutes.

Insist on the one and only genuine jello.

And now ladies and gentlemen, we bring to you...

Track bellies.

Fine.

Fine way to introduce a lot of hope from them.

But anyway, once more, I say to you, you can't jello again.

This is Jesse.

Don't mind if I make a little suggestion.

After all, I've known it for a long time, and I don't think you should be offended.

No, no. Go right ahead, John.

Pay no attention to my juggles of fists.

Well, you've been saying jello again so often that it's getting just a bit monotonous.

Now, can't we make some kind of a change in this program?

I don't know what you mean, John.

How?

Well, why don't you introduce me?

You take the commercial and give me the opening build-up.

Oh, that's awfully silly of you.

Well, it can't be any worse than it has been, so why not try it out?

You know, I'll take your lines and you take mine.

All right, John, what you'll see, every man to his own racket,

Hey, Green, let's take the finish of your first number again.

Okay.

That was Johnny Green playing the lost court.

And I, and I, we bring to you our master of ceremony.

That sage and screams are Jack Benny.

Jello again.

This is Jack Benny, the funny man of this program.

The program, man.

This is how I do it.

You slide on.

That's a great idea.

I'll take your part.

That's how me, Jack.

How did you do it with the Stanley Theater in Pittsburgh last week?

Well, I'll tell you something.

I'm a wonderful week.

My jokes kill them.

And when I finish my violin, so all the audience cheers.

Well, Jack, the way you play the blade, love and bloom, they should cheer.

Finish, yes.

Oh, yeah.

Well, once they return to wait 5,000 people.

They just like you and I do.

You and I do, isn't it?

Switching part?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Come in.

Well, well, if it isn't Kenny Baker, how are you, Kenny?

I'm Mary.

You're playing Kenny's part tonight.

Oh.

How are you, Kenny?

She is a thrill.

Well, Kenny, I see you finally bought yourself a suit of Eastern clothes.

Yes, I got two pair of pants with it.

And those jokes don't fit you, Mary.

Now, but the pants, too.

Say, Kenny.

Yes, Jack.

How do you like New York now?

Great.

I want to see the six day bicycle race last week.

Even Kenny must ride.

That's all right.

Well, he might have seen a six day bicycle race.

Who won it?

I don't know.

I only stayed five days.

And speaking of the six day race, let me tell you about Jell-O,

with a six day delicious plate.

Not yet, not yet.

Not yet.

Oh, pardon me, I think.

Well, I'll see you later, sellers.

I've got a date to look out of the window.

Okay, Kenny.

Hello, Jack.

Is the program started yet?

Well, if it isn't very limited.

It might be a good idea, but Mary needs a shave.

Oh, Mary, here's John Wilson.

Hello, Mary.

Hello, Ted.

On here, a former old Don?

No.

All right, Dan.

Maybe Jack will listen.

Here it is, entitled Spring.

Spring is nearly here.

Oh, spring is nearly here.

Birdie's singing everywhere.

People are changing underwear.

So have a chair.

Oh, have a chair.

Because spring is nearly here.

How's that, Kenny?

One of us is rotten.

And speaking of spring.

Why not spring over to your nearest grocer

and ask for the big red letters on the box?

Oh, Jack, please.

Oh, well, oh, Jack, after all, people are dying

to know what program this is.

Now, you know how it feels to be interrupted your month.

I realize it.

Well, anyway, tonight, folks.

Excuse at the door, Kenny.

Come in.

Hello, boys.

Sorry, I'm a little late tonight.

Well, well, Johnny Green.

How are you?

Great.

I've got a lot of swell number, Jack.

I've been gone.

Hey, wait a minute.

That isn't me.

I need the orchestra here.

And I won't stand for this.

But Johnny, we're just changing the program around.

Just for a novelty.

You could hire doing the same thing every week.

Well, in that case, go ahead.

You keep on at this, Wilson.

Why didn't you say anything?

Who said you did?

Then what are you talking about?

Say, who started this anyhow?

Hot Canini over there.

He thinks he's Johnny Green.

Oh, that's good.

Play, Jack.

Johnny Green.

Oh, that's good.

Play, Jack.

What's up?

That wasn't Hot Canini playing.

We saw the seed from the motion picture.

Follow the plea.

And now, folks, we are going back to our original characters.

And tonight, we're going to offer something instructive.

This is a week when you pay your income tax.

When you walk right up to Uncle Sam and say,

here, buddy, my dime is your dime.

Now, I know that many of you listeners are a little confused

with the blank you have to fill out,

so we will try to help you.

That's the least we can do.

And now, we take you to the income tax office,

which is not unlike a bank.

Only the paying color is missing.

All right, music, John.

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Happy days are here again.

Miss Livingston, what are the collections here so far?

Let me see, $79.20.

That's $280.00 behind last year.

I know what the trouble is. This office looks terrible.

How do you expect people to come in and pay their tax

in a dump like this?

Put them flowers on my desk just off that picture of George Washington

and bring in a few easy chairs.

Make the customers want to come in here.

Add zip.

Maybe now we'll do some business.

Good morning, I'd like to pay my income tax.

What do I tell you, Ms. Livingston?

Well, sir, this is a place that what's your name?

Johnny Green.

Occupation?

Hawkes Related.

Mm-hmm.

Were you born in this country?

No, what Hawkes Related was.

Now, Mr. Green, what was your gross income for 1935?

$325,842.00 a 9 cent.

I see.

And what was your net?

$12.00.

I suppose you took everything off that you're entitled to.

Everything was very short.

Oh, and it won't be long now.

Do you have any bad investments last year, Mr. Green?

Yes, I bet on Max Fair to beat Joe Lewis.

Mm-hmm.

Any dependence?

Max Fair.

Oh, Ms. Livingston, what is he always so far?

85 cents.

Oh, fine.

I'll pay.

I just a minute now.

Are you married?

You know, you're about $2500 for a wife.

If I had one, I'd sell.

I'd say.

Well, here's your 85 cents.

Oh, it's like a small amount.

I'll toss you a thing.

Couple or nothing.

All right.

Head.

Tails, you lose.

Well, it isn't the first time the government took it on the chin.

Goodbye.

So long.

Nice fellow, wasn't even Ms. Livingston.

Come in.

Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, hello.

Howdy, loser.

Excuse me, please.

I'd like to pay my innisfaction.

Well, you can find it at a place.

What's your name, ma'am?

Giuseppe and Donnie are part of Matino.

Howdy is Bellan.

You're no smell.

You just put them down.

How much are you, Mr. Washington, D.C.?

What business are you in?

I'm six and dead bicycle rider.

A six day bicycle rider, Ms. Livingston.

How'd you put down a peddler?

Say, as Giuseppe, how much you make the last year?

No, I push his pedal around and around

about a six hour bike and then I come up here.

Are you married?

Yes.

How many children have you got?

How many flavors you got?

Six.

That's what I got shielded.

Strawberry raspberry cherry orange lemon and lime.

No, Tony, but Squally, Primo, Rosemary, and Thanksgiving.

Hang on.

And I'm glad that you're here.

Thank you.

Those are our nighters.

What was your total income?

Less than $1,500.

Three-bed of checks and a robin' of costs.

What if you all was Ms. Livingston?

Let's see.

1,600 divided by six children.

Add one loving cost.

How much have you got now?

$1700.

That's funny. That's what you're always.

Thank you.

You owe us seven dollars.

All right, I'm not leaving the country yet.

Mind your mouth, I'll add the boys.

Well, at least the promise is all right, whose neck?

Top roll.

Well, say, top roll, you understand I need it for me.

That was $104,000, wasn't it?

Yeah!

My Lord, don't deny it.

Don't deny it.

What were your expenses for your expenses?

I see.

I see what you owe us.

What you owe us, $26,000, $1,000.

He wouldn't even wait.

What again?

Friday.

Friday, sir.

Any baker.

Any baker.

What's your occupation?

A singer.

In a comedian's time.

Well, we're just, we're just trying to collect

on the singing, down the song.

Did you apply your new welcome tack yet?

Did I?

I filed it and filed it.

I can't filed it.

I can't filed it.

I can't get it out.

We'll do a big, concrete like this.

Sing.

Anything.

How much do we collect this, let me tell you?

Yeah.

There may be trouble ahead.

But why there's moonlight and music and love and romance?

Let's hate music and dance.

Before the Hitler has fled.

Before that has got to pay the bills.

And while we still have the chance.

Let's face music and dance.

Oh, we'll be without someone

harming a different tune and dance.

Then maybe he's up to share.

So while there's moonlight and music and love and romance.

Let's face music and dance.

Let's face music and dance.

That was that.

I was let's face music and dance.

From Follow the Fleet, sung by Kenny Baker of California.

The states have sent us oranges.

And now and then a lemon.

Well, thanks for calling me an orange, Jack.

Don't mind him, Kenny.

He's always kidding.

Oh, I know.

It's just a scheme to mention two of our flavors.

You're right, Kenny.

I'm with you.

Oh, well, thanks.

It's a very sweet of you.

Hey, what are you doing tonight, Mary?

Oh, nothing.

Why?

Do you like Chinese food?

Oh, I love it.

Not me.

I'm going to a dance tonight.

So long.

Three million men in New York.

And I'm talking to him.

What's the matter, Mary?

Oh, nothing.

Do you like Chinese food, Jack?

Certainly.

Why?

Kenny's going to a dance.

What's funny about that?

I don't know.

They laugh when Kenny said it.

Hey, Kenny.

No, I know that you look kind of sad tonight.

What's the matter with you?

Oh, I don't know, Jack.

I'm homesick.

You know, New York is the loneliest place in the world

if you don't know anyone.

Why, Kenny, I thought you were having a great time here.

All I do is look at tall buildings.

She, Jack, you're so familiar with New York.

I wish you'd show me around.

Why, certainly, Kenny, you should have mentioned this before.

I didn't know you felt that we haven't just

been to Greenwich Village or Grants Tomb

or the Central Park Zoo.

Oh, the zoo?

See, I've never been to the zoo.

I'd like to see a wild animal.

Why haven't you seen any animals in California?

Oh, just the MGM lion.

Well, that's too bad.

You've just got to see the zoo.

I'll take you right now.

Come on, Mary, you two don't.

Hey, play something, Johnny.

We get back.

We're going to the zoo.

We're going to the zoo.

We're going to the zoo.

We're right.

We're right.

Right.

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And that was let yourself go from follow the fleets played by my orchestra with yours truly at the piano.

And now I'll tune you into the Central Park Zoo where we find the rest of our gang.

The lion must be having chicken for dinner.

But there we are, Danny.

Don't get your arms to near those ages.

Oh, jeez.

This is swell.

I never saw so many animals in my life.

Stay.

What are those with the trees going out their heads?

Not trees, horns.

Horns.

Those are elves.

Oh, God.

Look how they crawl each other.

That's fighting to pay their dues.

Oh, look.

Look, here's the monkey cage.

They aren't they dues.

Are they monkey jacks?

Sure.

Cute and nice.

Say, what does that sign mean?

Habitat South Africa.

Habitat.

Well, that's where they come from.

They.

These are marvelous how they hang by their tails and the sun.

Red tails and the sunset.

Quiet, Mary.

Don't be an animal cracker.

Hey.

I waited for that run-up.

They can't be right around on this side.

You'll see some of the oddest animals in the world.

Oh, will you?

She, I'd like to see an algebra.

An algebra.

How about some wild arithmetic?

She, what's that?

That's Wilson.

That's Wilson.

Oh, a domestic animal?

No, commercial.

Habitat.

Radio.

And algebra.

How about some wild arithmetic?

She, what's that?

Oh, domestic animal?

No, commercial.

Habitat radio program.

Then that's popcorn, get your penis and popcorn here.

Say, Jack, let's get some penis and see the elephant.

Hey, boy, give me a bag.

How much is it?

Seven cents.

Seven cents for a bag of penis.

Yeah, there's a 2 cents deposit on the bag.

That's just a little racking I got.

Reminds fellow.

little racket I got nice fellow I think we ought to get some of the show us

around and see the place right let's call one of the attendants yeah oh you

are the uniform when you show us around sure that's what I'm here for we have

our praise of animals all the dead of the hippopotamus as the front

windows is white the hippopotamus see he's got an awful big mouth yes or

here's the master of ceremonies around here

what is around here what the hell is that you're at a giraffe you have to see

it's any elevators and run them that's all we'll see him after the strike is

over all right all right I have to take this club and get this club and get

over the back hey what are you hitting that giraffe for I'm trying to

raise it to come a lot of them hey keeper we want to see some elephant

yeah yeah we want to see them subpoena all the elephants just they went no

to our elephants my funny day was here just a minute ago I hope we don't think

we have them hey canny you didn't take an elephant did you know today come on

no who's get those elephants they're right here no it's the bunch of

crooks they're gonna go a whole what's here they are it's like you're

parking to say I'm the nice elephant Johnny say them Wilson must have been

standing in front of him here John Bo here's some peanuts here yeah I said

see you don't want them imagine an elephant not wanting peanuts then why not

I tell you it's called tempting jealous of the dirt in the world

ah come on come on Kenny we'll go around see the bird see the bird see the

bird yeah I like birds show them the one you got it load one you got it look

stay theater last night I need the one with feathers

well well there we are there we are not so close Kenny that's a woodpecker oh

that's all right I got my hat off look at that one Kenny that's a

store you know the bird that brings the babies that one looked all broken down

that's the one that brought the quintuplets he was retired on a pension

okay look at that look at that's worked over there hello hello poly wants a

cracker poly wants a cracker he won't talk must be pretty Alan's bird

it even looks like him but now poly wants poly wants a cracker come on I'll give you

ten dollars more than Freddie pages come on poly wants some gel oh

poly wants a strawberry poly wants a cracker I know that would get her

hey Jack hello and see some wild animals all right Kenny follow me I'm sorry but I'd

have to turn you over to another keeper that's one thing I don't like is wild animals

okay thanks well I'm to keep it here anything I can do for you

don't fuck the lion's please we walked that got some visitors here from out of

town we'd like to see the different wild animals I got anything but you want look he's

look here's the lion here is the lion that brought back spring book alive say something Leo

I'm glad what I'm glad what I'm knowing you I feel like that Jenny

great Jack but I'd like to see some raccoons say cool taper if you got me taper if you got me uh

javer if you got me raccoons yes I have to show you something very nice here try this on

and if you like it I'll take out the animal no I don't like raccoon on Kenny make them look too

thank you have you got something in tiger now but I got something else to subscribe he

has healed this piece of goods hey what is this a zoo or a clothing store that's up to you now look

Mr. Benny for you I got a nice piece of porcupine we just see and you're loved to serve

porcupine how much is it the porcupine you can have for nothing but your last so let's

charge you for the fine there isn't any room and I don't just think we're overdoing this it's your

program but it's my animal hey if you'd like to see something more come this way oh wait

a minute I'd like to see something in me I'll let you miss my advice what case is he in

merry quiet Jack has to if he's got any wild pigs well in this case I'll have to find you over

to the other keeper well here's the pig now and right in the next cage are 16 of the finest

monkeys you ever seen oh and believe me those little devils can do everything but

see they can you shall hey hey come on let me out of here hey who's that big one I'm wrong

that's the head monkey is not used to the cage yet yes yes you look like Johnny green and a

boy this is the best I've seen yet hey listen I've been installed enough on this program come on

open up this cage I better leave before he gets nose hey let me out of here let me out of here

can you tell me from a monkey I'll be darned of I can you'll have to prove it play John

you

when I was a kid I looked forward all week long the Sunday night supper I was allowed to ask

in a few pounds and my mother always had some swell surprise for us well I still think there's

something gay and informal about Sunday night supper for everybody growing ups and youngsters

alike so here's the suggestion for next Sunday that we make it a special occasion Sunday night

pudding is called and you make it like this dissolve a package of strawberry jello in warm water

chill until slightly thickened then add half a cup of chopped walnut meats and one cup of chopped

and the chill burns serve with that cream that's whipped cream that's what do you have a great

dessert because strawberry jello rich rich as delicious as delicious as real rice for to use

genuine jello look for those big headletters on the package they smell jello

this is the last number and the 24th program is a new jello series and will be with you again

next Sunday night I hope it's the all of my Washington friends at Lowes Fox where Mary and I open

a week's engagement starting next Friday hey Jack I thought we were out of the zoo we are Mary

well you just said Lowes Fox that'll do Mary good night folks

so

collection loving bloom is fun she loves me not this is the national broadcast and

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