Jack Benny - House Of Rawchild

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Hi, this is Alex Cantrowicz, I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a long time reporter

and an on-air contributor to CNBC, and if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how

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That's me again, thanks Don, well I'm in a very good mood tonight, I just got back

in Atlantic City and am I feeling fine.

If you ever want to reach Red Bull, go to Atlantic City for the weekend, then come back

to New York and rest for 10 days, what a spotter, in a way it's like Coney Island, what

I mean is it's the same ocean, only a finer piece of water, you see in Atlantic City

the waves come rolling in in a high-class way and very snappy, while the Coney Island

the waves are much older, having been used so much, and they, they just come rolling in

any old way, lie down and go block, of course at Newport they have a still better class

of waves, there they come rolling in with monocles, wearing fats in a cane, well Jack

tell me is there any difference from the bathing there, that's the same isn't it, no

down there is a difference, should a new go bathing in Atlantic City a bluefish or a shark

might take a nip at you, while if you're bathing at Coney Island the chances are you'll

be bitten by a hairy, you know, not good, so alright, to get you back to Atlantic City

they, you don't have those drug racers down there this year, you know those racers were

seven-ray dogs taking an electric rabbit or a lot of fun, well I've never seen a dog

race Jack, how's it run, what if I told you an electric rabbit goes around on a rail

and as it passes the boxes with a dog tire, the dogs jump out, go woof woof and you're

out six dollars, Saturday night a lot of ten racers in a row and find you bet on the rabbit,

well, Jack you used to be most of one of that one doesn't you, no there was a short

search at the rabbit's top, everything happens to me, so I'm going to get down there

from time, how are the hotels in Atlantic City, all they have beautiful hotels down there

and a funny thing they all have double names, you know, like the Ritz, Carlton, the Marlboro,

Blenheim, the Clansluck, all double names, or Jack the Transluck is a fixer theater, I

know but I slept there a couple of nights too, but why do all the hotels have double

names?

Well you see down the racers so easily, you take the Ritz Carlton for instance, only

five dollars a day, so when you check out it's ten dollars, five to Mr. Ritz and five to

Mr. Carlton.

Good evening, fellas, how are you?

Oh hello, Mary, do you miss it, Mary, you should have been down to Atlantic City, I said

all we share.

I showed it all Jack, I just came from there.

You did, I didn't see you.

Oh, it's Friday, I was in bed every day, wouldn't have heard you either.

Oh, but there's so, I mean there's so many other things to do down there, do you see

the beauty times here?

See this, hmm, I was in it.

How'd you make out?

Well I only went in to the son of a, what do they know about movie?

I see, I see, I see, then you didn't win the contest, hmm?

No, who wants to be Miss America anyway?

I like Miss Livingston better.

Well who did win us?

He and Harlow and she didn't even share us.

Also Jean Harlow won the contest, who came in second?

The rabbit.

Oh, I don't worry, you won it next time.

What if you live in Atlantic City?

It's the bad news, that's it.

The bad news, Framford, that's in Philadelphia.

Oh, no wonder it was such a long walk to the beach.

That was a bad awful, goody, isn't that awful?

Mary, Mary, if you ever go to Chicago, there's a nice hotel in Kansas City, you must stop there, huh?

Oh, hello everybody, hello Jack, ask me something.

Hello, hello, hello, Frag, where were you over the weekend?

No place, I just stayed home at the park, or the parker, huh?

Wow, that's a nice place, and what did you do?

Oh, I just had home read the papers.

If you ask me, it looks better than any of us.

After I mean, you know, if you want a nice rest, folks at home and read the papers.

I agree with you, there's Jack.

You know, even if Framford and Framford just stayed home had a nice rest and isn't a bit tired.

Well, we all went away for a rest and came back tired.

And speaking of tired, the devil's tired is not only safer,

but it's outstanding to you to have a smartness to any car.

And the first important, it's blow off food.

Did you win any beauty contest, Don?

Over the settlement fire.

Not within hour-long.

That's your cute play, Don.

Very good, very good, that was, uh, there's a house in Salem, in Harlem for sale,

played by Don Bester, and he's Connecticut Yoko.

Uh, say, Don, uh, where were you over the weekend?

Well, I was on Atlantic City, too, Jack.

Isn't that funny? We were all down there, and nobody saw each other.

Did you bathe there, Don?

No, I took a bath before that.

Oh, if you went down there for pleasure, I see.

Where'd you live?

Or I'd have to be your part, Ben Don Quasas.

Oh, three names.

You must have paid $15 a bat.

Yes, fine, fine.

For the four marks, brother's built more groucho.

Get a paid plan there.

Say, Don, I notice you're getting quite a few men, new men in your orchestra.

Actually, a zilliphone player this week, I see you have a new bass fiddle.

Well, over there, Don.

That's not a bass fiddle.

Yes, sir, if we talk, we're watching our show.

Oh, pardon me.

Well, so?

Don, tell those people out of the system close to the orchestra.

And now, tonight, folks, as the feature attraction of our program, we are offering to you

without warning, the outstanding screenplay of the 1934 season, that great film masterpiece,

The House of Rock Tiles, R-A-W-C-H-I-L-V.

Not for number two company, but with the original cab.

And we are here to prove it by bringing the leading man to the microphone.

Step right over here, sir.

What is your name?

My name is Alex.

Alex, there you are, folks.

And your first name, Dustin.

Uh-huh.

I'm supposed to have the laugh of the finish, so I'll never get to it.

Uh-huh.

You see, folks, we say, no.

This play tonight will cost us about $100,000 and $200,000 listeners.

Now, those of you who have seen this picture, The House of Rock Tiles,

will remember that famous family of fine financiers from Frankfurt.

You'll remember how old Maya Rothschild called his sons together,

and sent each one to a different place to a mass of fortune

and build up the name of Rothschild.

One son remained in Frankfurt.

Another son went to Hamburg.

A third son to live a world, or a Liverpool,

while the fourth son went to Delhigh, India,

where he opened a Delhigh Catechistory.

There will now be a slight pause while your listeners go through your life boxes

looking for some of these sounds.

Well, anyway, tonight we are presenting this drama,

The House of, uh...

Hey, Sonata, why did you spell House with an L?

I'll show you the rehearsal.

The House of Rock Man.

And now, while the topender's are building the House of Rock Tiles,

playing partner of the House of Rockers,

who obviously reached some tender singer,

will sing for all we know.

Oh, Jack, what part do I play?

Well, as long as you didn't win a beauty contest,

you can play the part of Boris Carlos.

Oh, the very young, thank you.

Play Don.

That was, uh...

For all we know, son, by Frank Rothschild,

a Frank Potter.

And very good, Frank, very good.

Uh, you say that every week.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

for our dramatic offering,

which we will call,

The Rise of the House of Rock Tiles.

And what a problem you have here tonight, folks.

The place is past.

We have turned hundreds away,

and thousands went away themselves.

The officers are now seating

last few people, and pretty soon,

there will be signing room only.

The orchestra is coming in now.

Oh!

Let me see a text, mister.

Now, let's see, uh,

where are we?

That's where in the back.

Where in the back?

Why, that's generally up front.

Well, we have to put the first down in the back

to give us more room.

Well, this is an outplay, just assembler.

Outplay, assembler.

As long as the horse is here.

Tumas, short with bars and magazines.

Just your magazines here.

You can enjoy the show without a magazine.

Hmm, it's a fine starter.

That's something to read,

while the show is going on.

Oh, what's there?

Where have you seen?

Where have you seen, please?

Pardon me, folks.

We thought about that.

Now, let me see a text, madam.

What up, Peter?

I've been standing here for two hours.

I'm sorry, madam.

You have to stand here another month.

You should get to the gold tenor program.

Thank you.

I'll be back.

You're welcome.

The text please.

Here you are.

I'm 32 and 34.

I'm sorry, sir, but therefore I keep a sitting there now.

But I have a sub,

I'm 32 and 34.

I demand these seats.

Oh, all right.

Hey, mister, you and your wife and children

have to get out of those two seats.

Well, be bold.

Do you want to hold it?

Set your old seven-go-on home.

Set free.

Get your lemonade here.

Lemonade, electric trans and playing cards.

You can't enjoy the show without a cool game of brief.

Lemonade.

Yes.

Oh, uh, okay.

Tonight a full-length week.

Can you ask, sir?

Thanks.

Oh, uh, wait a minute.

This full-length one, men and white.

That's a good show, too.

Oh, Mary, here's a fellow has to take it for a box.

Have we any boxers?

Yeah, but we'll have to take the tomatoes out.

Oh, yeah.

Get your general tires here.

You can't enjoy your trip home without a general tire.

Oh, I'll have one of those.

Do you want to?

Here's one with the silent safety kit.

And are they bought through?

Yeah, the double lockers show us over here.

Hey, one is a show start.

Why?

Let me have a check, mister.

Oh, that's the only one.

Oh, well, I have to send this.

I'm so jacked, jacked, jacked.

You'll never be plenty of suits.

Thank you.

Do your hands, son.

Take your feet, pet.

Don't be a fool.

Well, I get through all those things.

Now, hey you.

You and the birds, old.

The people behind you can't see.

You'll have to take off your hat.

What?

You'll have to take off your hat.

My hat?

Oh, you again.

Your hat.

Your hat.

What's on your head?

gasoline.

I'm going to a band.

Anyway, we didn't say sorry to no hair.

Well, let's get the play started over Jordan.

Ha ...

There was an over turf fair where Dylan played by Domました of the place in North Shore

in Alvar thanks .

Hi, I'm Alisha, and I'm wherever you go.

and we make trashy divorces. Everybody's favorite good podcast about bad

relationships. Looking for something true crimey without the gore or the body

count? We've been shurning out funny, feisty, feminist episode since 2019. So if

you're looking to put some scandalous stories told well into your ears this

summer, check out trashy divorces. Wherever you listen to podcasts, trust us.

We've covered someone you love or someone you love to hate.

The opening scene takes place in the Royal Childhouse in Hustle. I mean Frankfort.

This is my mouth watering. Curtain. Music done.

Hmm, kind of silly tonight. I don't think I'll go out of the house.

That's right. My already told.

Think I'll sit home and read. Bring me a book, Sarah. Yes, here.

What book do you want? First national bank or guaranteed trust.

Oh, I've read them over and over again. How's that federal reserve? Have you read

it, Sarah? No, but here's a copy of Irving Cross. You'll like that.

I think I'll have to get some new books. I've lost interest in those.

How much money we got now, Sarah?

We have two billion, five hundred million golden.

Ah, golden. And today is our golden anniversary.

Well, here's the dollar. Go out and buy yourself something.

Is that all I get? We must save every penny.

For in money, there is power.

I'll answer the door, my dear.

Be careful who it is. I don't want any of those cycle mooters around.

If it's Napoleon, I'm out.

Who do you wish to see?

I am the princess here, Buck and Lager, and I want to see my royal child.

Tell him I'm out.

He's out. I believe you, but none him.

Hello, Maya.

Hello, Prince, you old dog. What can I do for you?

Well, Maya, I am here in a very touchy mission.

My country is on the bomb again.

Could you let me hear for twenty million golden till payday?

When is payday?

I often wonder.

What is the trouble with your country?

Well, we had a big crop game with bull gear here, and they took us.

Same thing happened to be in Atlantic City.

When, ten million golden.

Hey, usher. Usher. Where am I see?

Let me see your check.

I will tell him in a jack.

Our horn's fixed right here.

Okay, go ahead, Jack.

When, ten million golden. How much is that?

$35.

You have me scared for a while, Prince. What security have you?

Eeeh!

Oh, yeah. I said, what security have you?

What security? I have a one-series ticket to be played between the vice-socks in Cincinnati.

Oh, no security, eh?

Well, Prince, you can have the money.

But remember, I shall expect favors from your kingdom.

Thank you, Maya. Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Like Vice. Good to buy.

Goodbye.

Why did you give him that money, Maya?

Because it's a good investment.

The Prince of Pilsner-Bocken-Logger is a good friend to have.

You can't tell when he will throw something our way.

That goes for the audience, too.

Quiet.

There I have an idea.

An idea that will make me the power of the world.

I sure as my name is not your jawless.

You're telling us?

Yes, Sarah. I have a great idea. Call up the King of Spain at once.

The King of Spain is in France.

We'll call up the King of France.

I see. Then get me the President of Cuba.

He's in Montreal.

Whatever mine. Bring me my pipe.

What is that, Sarah?

What's all that noise going around here?

Those are your sons playing in the backyard.

Playing, playing, always playing.

I must make them useful.

Come in here. Call them in.

Come in at the house, killing the old man watching.

We want to play.

Come in. Come in. I say you young scallywags.

Oh, all right.

Sit down. Sit down. All of you.

Fine, boys. Carls, Solomon and Nations.

Wasting your time playing in the yard.

Fine, Rothschild, you are.

How old are you now, Nations?

67, father.

Well, it's about time you got out in the world made a living for yourself.

How old are you, Solomon?

64.

You're old enough to do something too.

And how old are you, Paul?

48, Paul.

Well, you can hang around a house for a while yet.

Listen, my son, you're getting to a age when you should be making a little money.

Remember, in this world, money is power.

So let's get together and make the house of Rothschild, the power house of the world.

Yes, Father.

And for heaven's sake, for heaven's sake, shape off those beards and uphold the house of Rothschild.

You look more like the house of David to me.

This is the worst deal I've ever seen.

Now, you little shavers, I'm going to give each of you some money.

And send you to different countries and expect you to become a financial wizard.

You understand?

Yay, Father.

Now, you carl.

Here is 60,000 booze.

I want you to go to Saratoga and establish the name of Rothschild.

Thanks, Father, I will.

And remember, be true.

Nothing but plain for sure.

And look out for muddy trash.

Good luck to you.

I'll meet you.

Goodbye.

And you, Solomon.

Here's 200,000 booze.

I want you to go to Hollywood.

Our road is making our game comedy.

And I want you to be one of the Rothschilds.

Yes, Father.

Oh, my son.

And hold up your head.

We have cocky Rothschilds.

Are you Nathan?

Yes, Father.

Here is five booze.

You know where you can go.

I get it.

So long, Father.

Goodbye.

Oh, there they go.

My three sons.

Well, see through.

How about me?

Who you've forgotten me?

Oh, another son.

I have so many.

What's your name?

Thunder Rothschilds.

But I don't have to tell you anything.

You'll save your things.

Goodbye, Peter.

Both should be remembered.

Save every penny.

Or in money.

There is power.

And for a small amount of this power,

you can buy the general bullock's file

and convenient terms for your general fire dealers.

I think I'll send him to China.

And now for the second night.

The house of Rothschilds three months later.

There.

There I get something to read.

I'm going mad.

I only made nine million booze in the day

and had to loan it to both throughout the Swiss Navy.

Has the mail come in yet?

Yes, Maya, but there's nothing for you.

Funny, we haven't heard from the boys.

I wonder how they've been doing.

There's a freight train coming in. Maybe they're on there.

Hmm, maybe.

Hmm, the phone.

I'll answer it.

Hello.

Hello?

Is this the general diameter?

Yes.

What's going there?

The rise of the house of Rothschilds.

Oh, excuse me, I'm looking for the rise of the Goldbergs.

You have the wrong number. Goodbye.

Goodbye, Sergeant, you know here.

Hmm, I thought that call might be from the boys.

Why don't they write to me?

After the door's there, huh?

By the past two, then.

Hello, ma'am.

Hello, ma'am.

Hello, ma'am.

Hello, ma'am.

Nice and gentlemen.

Oh, my son, my son.

Come here to your father.

Tell me, boys.

How did you do?

You called.

Did you establish the name of Rothschild and Saratoga?

Yes, father.

Everybody's going to know you with our names on it.

Go back in the yard and play.

And you, Solomon.

How did you do on Hollywood?

Great, father, but I'm both.

What happened to the 200,000 Goldbergs I gave you?

I meant to enjoy.

Oh.

Well, you, Nathan.

I only gave you five Goldbergs.

Have you any of that left?

Yes, father.

I still have a book and a half a gold.

Keep the gold and give me the book and a half.

Where's Sandy?

He's up in the North West, where he established the House of Rothschild.

I knew Sandy would make good.

What's he doing up there?

He's selling general tires to the North West bottom, please.

I see you, boy.

Hello, father.

I mean...

Hello, ma'am.

Ah, it seems to feel good back in law there.

Maybe he came back to pay me the money he borrowed.

How are you, friend?

I'm fine, ma'am.

What can I do for you?

I have come on for another touchy mission.

You have what?

I have come on another touchy mission.

My poor country is on the bomb again.

Could you lend me ten million Goldbergs until we get on our scene?

Ten million Goldbergs.

What became of the twenty million I loaned you?

The Bolgerians took us again.

Oh!

Playdown, Sarah calls up the House of Rothschild.

Number of the twenty-first full ran in the general tire city

and will be ready again next Friday night.

I do hope you like our little play the rise of the House of Rothschild.

Remember, there's a moral to what's paid your penny.

Or in money, there is power.

Or dress?

What is it, Mary?

You didn't give me my power for last week.

Oh, good night, Paul.

The ultimate solution is!

The ultimate solution is!

The ultimate solution is!

It is a nightmare.

Tell me, Mary, what do you do for me?

I don't like how you feel, Mary.

My poor country is on the bomb again.

Get the monster ready!

What is it, Mary?

那我們 we should go to sleep now.

We're waiting here.

We'll go to sleep now.

We're waiting for you.

We'll be waiting for you.

We're waiting for you.

We're waiting for you.

What happened?

What happened?

We'll be waiting for you.