Jesus Calling: Stories of Faith - Coming Home Through the Crisis: Chuck DeGroat & David and Alicia Lloyd

0:00Life Audio Head over to the Jesus Calling YouTube channel for inspirational video content that will enhance your spiritual life. Each week you'll find beautiful devotional videos from morning, evening, and sleep, as well as stories and readings from celebrities, authors, pastors, and everyday people who share how God has worked in their lives. You'll also find the Jesus Listen Stories of Prayer series hosted by Susie McIntyre Eaton, Jesus Calling Podcast episodes, and a Scripture-based bonus series where experts walk us through specific books of the Bible. Subscribe today for new videos each week. What was that story back often to early childhood where did those sheds and otts come from?

1:05And what was the deeper dream? What was the deeper longing, the deeper vision? Welcome to the Jesus Calling Podcast. We're joined by author and counselor Chuck DeGroat, who explores the profound invitation of the second half of life, the season where we're called to move beyond the proving and performing of our younger years. Chuck shares why this transition requires us to detangle our identities and embrace a slower, non-microwavable path to healing. He explains how cultivating spaces of safety and reconnection allow us to finally come home, to ourselves, to one another, and to God. Later we'll hear from David and Alicia Lloyd. After more than two decades of dedicated service in the country of Haiti, they faced a devastating crisis that upended their world and challenged everything they thought they understood about God's faithfulness. They share the raw, vulnerable journey of navigating profound loss and the unexpected ways they ultimately discovered God anew in the aftermath. Let's begin with Chuck DeGroat.

2:07I have been actually a pastor and a therapist for more than 25 years, going on 30 years, which is kind of wild to think about, and that vocation has always been side by side for me. I had the sense that in my childhood that God was near. We went to Lutheran church. That was the first church that we attended, and there was, I think what Lutherans call an eternal light or an eternal candle or something like that. The thing never went out. Carl Young talked about the two halves of life, and it's typically the case in the first half of life that we're chasing, performing, ladder climbing. There's some achievable goal that we want career success or spouse or wealth. Or whatever it might be. We're often wrestling with this invitation of the second half of life where there is some sense that the rules of the first half of life don't work any longer, and that there is a deeper realization that they're being invited to.

3:09That actually shifts them into the territory of longing more often than not proving, not protecting, but longing more deeply. Losing from a more primal place, not just for the boat. That's a direction that some people go in midlife, the new car, the new boat, the new house. Longing for maybe something that was untapped or unmet for some of my clients, there's some sense of, I really never wanted to do what I've been doing for the last 20 years. Or there are things that I love that have gone unexplored. I've wanted to travel more. I've wanted to love more deeply, but I've been too busy to do it and I've lost so much along the way. The language of homecoming goes hand in hand with the journey of the first and second halves of life and that return that were invited to even in the second half of life. I think about my own journey into the second half of life. Thinking about it a little bit more intentionally in my 40s, but I don't think the grief of it

4:10all hit me until my 50s. That's what I experienced, some sense of all that I had chased, all that I had grasped after and strived for. Not that it was for naught, not that it was worthless, but there's some sense that, you know Thomas Merton says, you climb the ladder only to realize that you propped it up against the wrong wall, right? And so there's a sense that now in my 50s, there's some grief and I think that the work that I invite others into and the work that I've had to do myself is some sort of detangling from the identity of that first half of life. What I thought I needed to chase after, that usually comes with a lot of shoots and we've got to trace that story back often to early childhood, where did those shoots and odds come from? And what was the deeper dream? What was the deeper longing, the deeper vision? And so it's interesting, the poet David White often says that growing older means at some level growing younger, growing into our original innocence.

5:13As a child, you walked around barefoot a lot, you learn to put on shoes at some point because that was the thing you were supposed to do. But now you're taking your shoes off more and you're taking walks with no particular agenda and you're noticing, noticing things that you didn't have time to notice in the first half of life when you were living according to the rules of busyness and proving and protecting. But with that, there are also questions of mortality. Like, did it mean anything? What have I lost? Who have I hurt along the way and my busyness and my work of holism? And so in the work that I do with others and my own work, there's often a reckoning that comes in the second half of life that goes on for some time as well. There are often too few guides who've done this work, who can invite us into this second half of life, particularly into our 50s and 60s from a place of real knowing. They've really known it and experienced it. There are too few guides, too few sages, too few elders who can walk with us into this second half of life.

6:13When we travel to my mom's place, one of the things I noticed was that she'd wake up early in the morning and then I'd wake up not too long after that. I'd often see her in prayer or reading Jesus calling. So I began to get curious and she said, well, Chuck, this is what I do. I wake up every morning. I've got my pictures. Those are pictures of you and my wife Sarah, my sister, Kathy, your husband, Scott, kids, her late husband, Bob, my mom has since passed. And she said, what I do is I look at the pictures and then I read Jesus calling for that day and then I pray. And I thought that was so lovely, so beautiful to hear. And I remember when I picked up after she passed my sister and I went down and I picked up Jesus calling and three dates were dog year. When people can look these up if they want to July 26, August 26, in September 22. And so my sister and I have returned to those three.

7:13I have them pictures of all three of those particular dates. And I think for one reason or another, there's something about a message of hope, themes of do not fear. God is with you, particularly for a woman who's in her mid 80s and was experiencing some health problems. There's a palpable sense that she experienced that she was engaging Jesus calling that even in the midst of her season of life, God is with her. And I think about the language of homecoming, a returning to God. I think I first heard language like that from Henry now on back in the mid 1990s as I began to encounter his books. There's something about it that struck a deep cord in my heart if that makes sense. Like there's some sense that we were created for Eden and that we were living east of Eden and that there was a journey back home. When I work with clients, when I teach on the human nervous system, what I say is that

8:17we've been designed. The very center of our body or being our nervous systems is the ventral vagal system, which is actually a place of joy, creativity, safety, connection, union. In one sense, God created us with a physiological connection point, maybe even called a homing beacon that reminds us that our deepest longing is for home, is for connection, is for love. Of course, we stray from home into places that are disconnected, sometimes overwhelmed, sometimes frantic. Sometimes we find ourselves in anxious places and yet the invitation to my clients, the invitation from God to you and to me is always to return home. This whole idea of disconnection has become so important because we see it, the hinge point in healing what's within is Genesis chapter 3, where that good story of God creating us and blessing us, making us in his image, giving us all of creation to play in, takes

9:23a tragic turn and Adam and Eve find themselves east of Eden. In a sense, that sense of exile, that sense of astrangement, that sense of disconnection is primal, it's something that lingers on at us. What was fascinating to me is I was researching for healing what's within is disconnection is really at the core of trauma and the dramatic wound. What people experience is some sense of I don't feel like myself or I'm just not myself anymore. And so there's really a recovery of authenticity, a recovery of their true selves. We were talking about homecoming as recovery, return home to themselves, to God, to each other that people long for. And this is part and parcel of the work that I've been doing for my next book because that I see is foundational to character change. Reconnection, the kind of reconnection that is born out of safety, the kind of reconnection that is born out of restored relationship, creates the conditions for people to change.

10:26One of the things I say is there's no fast track to change, there's no microwavable pathway to change. It's slow and sometimes painful, but it begins with reconnection and reconnection can only happen when our nervous system's experience is sense of safety. When we know within us and around us that we're at a place where we're truly seeing and known and help, that's when we can begin to shift in a new direction. Jesus listens June 30th. All satisfying God, my soul thirsts for you, for the living God. The deepest yearnings of my heart are for intimacy with you Lord. I'm thankful you designed me to desire you, that delight in seeking your face. Help me not to feel guilty about taking so much time to be still in your presence. I'm simply responding to the tugs of your spirit within me. You made me in your image and you hid heaven in my heart.

11:30My longing for you is a form of homesickness, a yearning for my true home in heaven. I realize my journey is different from that of other people. I need courage to persevere. Yet I trust that the path you have called me to travel with you is exquisitely right from me. I found that the more closely I follow your leading, the more fully you develop my gifts. In order to follow you wholeheartedly, I need to relinquish my desire to please others. Still, my closeness to you can be a source of blessing to other people, as you enable me to reflect your glory in this dark world. In your bright shining name, Jesus. Amen. To learn more about Chuck DeGroat, visit ChuckDeGroat.com. And be sure to check out his new book, Who You're Becoming, the Slow and Courageous Work of Cultivating Character Change in a Narcissistic Age at Your Favorite Retailer. Stay tuned to David and Alicia Lloyd's Story after a brief message.

12:35Hey listeners, it's Kelly from Life Audio. We know life gets busy, and sometimes it's easy for your faith to get pushed to the side. That's why we created The Good Word, a free, weekly newsletter designed to give you a moment to slow down, be encouraged, and reconnect with what matters most. God's Word. Inside, you'll find devotionals, guided prayers, podcast recommendations, and other faith-filled content we think you'll love. No ads, no clutter. Just good content to help you stay rooted in God's Word throughout your week. Sign up for the Good Word today at LifeAudio.com-forward-slash-the-goodword. These uncertain times bring anxiety and fear, but Jesus listens prayers for every season, gives you daily prayers of comfort. With seasonally inspired illustrations, this beautiful book includes prayers that speak

13:38to your situation, whether it's a time of stress or strength. Look for Jesus listens prayers for every season, wherever you buy books. After decades of dedicated service, missionaries David and Alicia Lloyd faced a sudden, life-altering event that forced them to rethink everything they believed about God's faithfulness. They share a raw, vulnerable journey of navigating profound, unexpected loss, and the difficult, honest questions they had for God in the aftermath. When I was a child and I was attending vacation Bible school as probably around nine years old, and there was a lady there, and she had been a missionary, and she started telling about her life, and I just felt there was more to life than just having fun. I really wanted to be like her and I wanted to make a difference with my life and possibly even be a missionary.

14:39I grew up in a very mission-minded church up in Missouri, and we had missionaries that come through all the time, speaking on their country that the Lord had laid upon their heart, and we had a missionary come through that was been in Haiti and was going back to Haiti. As a young boy, I just felt like the Lord spoke to my heart and said, someday you'll be there. I hit my teenage years and I argued with the call that God had placed upon my life because I had other things I wanted to do. Went to community college for a year during my first year there. I was just not happy. I knew it wasn't following God's will for my life and finally surrendered to it and said, all right, God, not my will, but your will. I just remember David was a pretty serious student, and he was, had presented his call to the missionary in Haiti, and I also had felt that God wanted me to do some missions work. I knew from the time that we first started dating that if we ended up getting married, that we were going to serve God in Haiti together. Our kids were kidnapped in Haiti in 2005, Davie and Hannah, along with another one of our

15:43children from the children's home. But God intervened and we were able to get him back 21 hours later. And I think what Kippus continuing to serve God there in Haiti is just that we knew that God had called us there and we knew that there was a work to be done and that he would protect us no matter what happened and he would intervene and help us. Yes, we faced many difficult things over the years. The kidnapping being very difficult, the earthquake tragedy in 2010. We just felt like God would always be there and come through the way we wanted him to. When the tragedy or a dangerous situation would arise. May 23rd, 2024. My youngest son and myself, Sam and I, we had returned from Haiti the night before. We got in very late and spent the day just catching up on some things around the house here. That afternoon, Sam was hungry. So him and his mom went to get dinner. While they were gone, I got the initial call from Jude, our director, and said,

16:45pastor, my wife just called from the church and the gang's had grabbed Davie when he left the church and had took him into the mission compound. And he goes, I don't know what's going on. So I said, Jude, please go find out what's going on and let me know. He went as he was getting there. The first gang left. They had beat my son and stole our vehicles and a bunch of stuff from the mission. He's my son's phone and Natalie's phone. So Jude let him use their phone. They called me and he said, dad, they took everything. I said, well, are you okay? And he said, well, I've got blood running down my head from where I was beat with the pistol. And I said, well, you need to get to the doctor. And he says, I am going to. He said, I'm going to go to the hospital, but I need to get some things straightened out here. Before I leave, to make sure the kids are safe because they have about 40 kids that we were caring for there on the mission compound. And as in the middle of the conversation, he says, dad, something else is happening. I've got to go. Well, later we found out what that something else was. It was the next gang headcom. And they came into the compound and over the wall, they just were shooting in every direction.

17:48The children and the staff all ran to the mission home and they, you know, they could be Natalie and Jude ran to our personal home, barricaded themselves in there. And then from what I understood almost immediately after they got in there, the gang turned the guns on the home and just began shooting out all the windows. I did get a call through shortly thereafter. That initial call after we hung up and Jude answered and said, pastor, it's not good. All the windows are shot out. We're okay, but he says they keep shooting. And David goes, dad, we need to get some help. Get somebody to stop this if we can find somebody because he says it's getting dark. And as a Natalie, okay, and he goes, yes, we're okay. That was the last I heard. Later we found out, you know, that they had been killed. Initially, for the first few weeks, we had to keep asking ourselves, God, where were you? We had prayed so many times before that you would show up in the middle of whatever we're facing.

18:48And you had showed up, God, like we prayed, this time you didn't. So we dealt with that. And then later, about three weeks after the funeral, we had to go to the hospital. We had to go to the hospital. We had to go to the hospital. We had to go to the hospital. We had to go to the hospital. So we dealt with that. And then later, about three weeks after the funeral, myself, my daughter, Natalie's dad and uncle, we flew to Haiti to just meet with the kids and let them know that they haven't been abandoned their staff. We were still involved in Haiti and where it was an abandoned them or Haiti. And then started hearing stories about David and what he was doing during the time of the attack. During the initial attack, he was quoting scripture to tell them how they need to give their life to Jesus. The second attack, while he was in the home, barricaded in, they said that every time the shooting stopped, they could hear David's voice echoing out across the property. There was estimated about 100 gang members that had come into the property or around the property during that time. So we know they all heard the gospel message preached.

19:49They said every time he would just continue his voice, would just echo across the property. So God spoke to me or I realized at that moment that God did show up. Because there was no way in his own human strength that after being in beat and what he had been through, that he would be able to, for the next couple of hours, continue to preach with a strong voice echoing across the property. The love of Jesus Christ and how Jesus had died for these gang members and they needed to ask him into their life. So that helped knowing that God did show up, just not the way we had prayed, but God was there. Being the man of the house and still having two children, which are adults now, my wife and the type that don't want to show weakness and need to be strong for them. So for me, my moments of grief, my moments of breakdown, was when I was by myself, which was usually not always the most opportune times, but when I'm driving down the road, I get to talk to God and holler asking, why did we need to go through this or what was the purpose of all this?

20:52Can you please show us that you have an abandon us and just talk to him like God allows us to talk to him as our Father. And I know one of the times that was probably the most impactful was about six months after the tragedy, I was driving down our four lane highway coming home and then I have to turn off a little two lane road, curvy, hilly. So I turn all the way down the four lane road, I'm just talking to God and saying, you know, your hurt, we're hurting. Do you not know where we're at? Do you not know how much I'm hurting? Can you not give me some help? Give me some relief. Let me see what the purpose of all this tragedy was about. And you know, no on with voice, nothing that I felt God speak into my heart. And just tears running down my eyes. I turn on the two lane roads, start up the hill around the corner and on the corner of this little country road. There was a mailbox and by the mailbox of full or I think green neon sign that said God knows in big black letters. I looked at that as I'm driving by it 40 miles an hour and never seen a sign of that mailbox before.

21:55I have seen different signs since that time, but it was just God had them placed it there for me at that moment. I realized that God still does care about us. He does still realize that we're hurting. And we can just call out to him and we say we need some relief. I've done that many times. God please show up and help me. And then just the family of God is the big family. And we have great support with other pastors and believers that text and call and pray with us and pray for us. And they special occasions like Friday is coming week will be my son's birthday. He would be 26. Initially I feel like I kind of push God away in my grief. And I felt like he had just abandoned us and that he didn't care because he let my son die. And the more I pushed away the worse I felt. And I just called out to God one more and said, you know, I need you to help me. And I've just since then, you know, I've continued to just see God every day. And sometimes it's just like God, please help me. And he's always been faithful to come by and come from my heart.

23:04To learn more about David and Alicia Lloyd, visit missions and Haiti.com and be sure to check out their book Strong to the End, the simple service and sudden sacrifice of the martyrs and Haiti at your favorite retailer. If you'd like to hear more stories about finding God's presence in the middle of grief, you didn't see coming. Check out our interview with Aaron Lee Nelson. Next time on the Jesus Calling podcast will honor the 25th anniversary of 9 11 with retired U.S. Secret Service agent, Darren Kinder, who was inside a tower at the World Trade Center on that faithful day. There was so much destruction. I went down to a knee and I can hear that soft still voice and says, I'm with you. And I have a plan for you. And you will be taken from this earth is just not today. And I felt the presence. I felt just almost like a grip on my shoulder that said I'm with you. Thanks for listening to the Jesus Calling Stories of Faith podcast on the live audio network. Every week we'll bring you stories from people who share their journeys of faith and how prayer and a relationship with God transformed their lives.

24:22Be sure to follow us on Apple Spotify, I heart or wherever you listen to podcasts and leave us a review so others can be inspired weekly by these stories of faith. Finally, you can find encouragement resources and more on the Jesus Calling website at Jesus Calling dot com. Hey there, it's Nicole Eunice, host of the How to Study the Bible podcast where every single week we joined together to encounter God through his word. You can subscribe at lifeaudio.com. Thank you for watching and wonderful miracle stories of the Bible and the many great miraculous events inspired by the words and deeds of Jesus Christ.