Joe Show Bingo! | Cedric Maxwell Joins Toucher & Hardy! - 4/17 (Hour 3)

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And now back to toucher and hearty on the sports hub.

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Which makes sense because I don't know if I'm getting on Netflix to watch a two-hour podcast.

I don't really understand the idea of watching the two-hour podcast.

A live YouTube feed I could understand.

You know, you got it on the corner.

No, but a podcast that's recorded and old and no.

No.

And there are podcasts I like believe me.

I tell my daughter I go, I like this one.

There you go.

All right, the Joe show is no podcast.

It's a live program that is on the evenings here at the sports hub.

And during the summer when the playoffs are all set and done,

you get unfettered Joe.

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We love the Joe show.

We do.

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He's very talented.

He's on Nesson now on the on the big afternoon show they have there.

Very good show.

Good people on it.

So there's my praise of Joe.

Now we are going to do what here, guys.

So we have two we have two things.

And they're actually out of order from the way they happened on the show.

But the first thing that we're going to listen to is a mention of this show.

And it had to do with a computer login issue that you had the other morning, Fred.

And this was all after the phones had gone down.

And you know, they were just talking about the, you know,

the problems with the technology here in the studio.

And there was some mention of this program.

Okay.

Are we playing bingo?

We will do that second.

Oh, yeah.

Hello.

Save the best part for last.

I like that.

Yeah.

A little dessert.

Yeah.

Right.

Here's the tizer.

Here's the, I'm teasing you with the tizer right now.

What is going on with the fun?

Do you see that?

It's like someone calls it and it's just short.

Shortage is right out.

Oh, no blinds.

Oh, no blinds.

God can't sit on hold on.

We're screwed.

You mean, we can't take the one call the morning that we think.

It's the shortages.

Well, there are shortages with phone people.

Right.

A lot of redundancy and they almost went too far with the cuts.

I like this.

Oh, God.

Who's, who's working in the morning?

Who's here in the morning?

I would imagine it's sat in 12 and Ryan being.

Nick Jamelli.

Did you hear Fred?

JK to use his computer yesterday.

I missed this.

So I heard it live.

Hell yeah, Joe.

Listen to the show.

My man.

Up early.

I like it.

Well, he's got two jobs.

Fred has Nick log in for him.

And why, why?

No, I don't know.

It's a fair question.

I didn't send him out to get by me cigarettes.

He loves.

He gets in here and turns the TVs on the channels.

We want some and logs into our computers.

No, no.

He logs into your computer.

All right.

I never asked him to.

This is just the way things have gone.

Nick, have I ever asked you when,

since we've been here to log into my computer,

the first time that I go log into your set, he has not.

No, I never said, hey, Nick, start logging into my computer.

He just started doing it.

He didn't say he did send him out for butts once.

That was a while ago though.

Yeah, back when I smoked.

I am saying that it's not like I'm sending him out

to like get me groceries or cigarettes.

I probably did send him out to get cigarettes when he was an intern.

That was very, very rich, James, of you.

I didn't put my feet on his couch.

Yeah, I put my feet on his couch.

I don't know if I asked him to get cigarettes or not.

Well, he said he did.

I don't know. He worked there 20 years ago.

I don't know what I did 20 years ago.

I'm saying that I haven't asked Nick in 15 years

to go get me anything like that.

If I had an intern, I'd have him go to get stuff.

Sure, just so they have something to do.

I had an intern one time, let my cleaning lady in.

I had to do that.

And so, Jake had to, they basically, Jim texted Nick like,

hey, you know, Jake's going to use

your Fred's computer for the big board.

And he logged in and now Fred couldn't get in today

for some reason and he was upset and he called him the kid.

So, Jake's not the kid.

The kid, I don't hate that.

And it's hard to call them Big Jake,

which I've never heard anybody call him Big Jake.

Her number first year was Jolly Jake.

Jolly Jake?

I believe Tom Morgan.

I called him that when he was an intern.

Okay.

The phones are down.

I'm sorry.

No one's ever called him Big Jake.

I find that hard to believe.

I have no idea who he is.

So, he's an intern.

So, I just said,

beaten.

Yes, Big Jake.

Okay.

All right, fine.

But that's not really what we're here to do.

What we're here to do is to examine the first

couple minutes of audio when the phones started to go down.

And that required Joe to pivot a little more than usual

and maybe dance around a little bit more

than even Joe is a customer doing.

And I thought,

what a what a fun thing for us to do to examine the audio.

Listen very closely and see if a certain number of things

pop up.

And when they do pop up,

we will mark them off on our cards as we play something called.

Bigger than you.

Bigger.

So, I have Bingo cards here for each of you.

And I will tell you what items we are listening for.

And when you hear these items mentioned on the Joe show,

you will scratch it or exit off your Bingo card.

So, we don't predict beforehand.

But we all have different Bingo cards.

Yes, well, they have the same things on each card,

but they are in different orders.

It is a four by four grid.

There are 16 items that we have to be on the listen out for.

Well, some of these are just going to happen right away.

Well, so, okay.

So, first of all,

in this just a couple of minutes,

because we'll go hours sometimes on this program without taking a phone call.

This is about what do you have there?

We're too weak without taking a phone call.

We have two, three minutes of audio.

We're going to listen to here.

Uninterrupted, unordered.

Three and a half minutes of audio.

So, a caller, another caller,

mentions of mountain dew, cream soda,

audible breathing, audible breathing again.

A mention.

Will you hear scaz?

Will you hear the term in or out?

Will he mention a city name?

Another city's name.

Two seconds of silence.

A separate two seconds of silence.

A cry of ecstasy, donuts, cookies, and 7-Eleven.

Okay.

All these things.

I will tell you, we'll be mentioned in this three minutes of audio,

but who will get them on their bingo card first, either across, down, or diagonal?

Well, I can tell you a second into this.

You're getting two seconds of silence.

Yeah.

Just by the visual.

If you don't know, I play these things that I can stop out of a system that shows the audio waves.

There's a visual look of the audio, and I can tell you that we will get,

hopefully you have silence in the beginning or audible breathing.

You have it right in the middle of your card, because that will aid you as you go for bingo.

Yes, here we go.

All right.

All right, the phones were down.

That's the name of the, that's the name of the, that's the name of the game.

All right, so here we go.

How do you, who is going to get bingo first?

Here we go.

Joe show bingo.

We got Sarko on the line.

Sarko from his office.

Hello, Sarko.

Okay.

All right, that's a lot of breathing.

Well, that's and it does that kind of silence as well.

That's definitely a collar.

All right, and I'm going to say silence.

Yes.

All right, not breathing silence.

Okay, okay, two seconds of silence.

Yeah.

All right, two seconds.

Oh, okay, here we go.

I got two in a row.

Yeah, I got we're working here.

I got connection as well here.

This is good.

Hello, Sarko.

We have lost Sarko.

Okay, that's audible.

That's audible breathing.

Okay.

All right, that's audible because silence is not

technically silence.

If I could to fine to the comb because he is breathing

audibly.

Two seconds of silence.

Okay.

Okay.

Cofur is in Reading, Massachusetts.

Hello, Tofur.

That's another call.

Yeah, Joe.

Okay, so another call.

There's also a city name.

Yes.

Oh, very good, John.

Yes.

So we have we have another caller.

Yeah.

And it's just another city name would be the other one.

All right.

Well, a city name, okay, a city name, then you're looking for

another city name.

Okay, here we go.

That's like a decade since I've actually called in and said hello.

What is the last time you've called in and said hello?

Oh, God, I've been so busy.

I think it's been probably about like almost two months.

Audible breathing.

Oh, okay.

Audible breathing.

Yeah.

Two.

Two.

Yep.

Two months.

Yeah.

I saw that you tried something tonight.

All right.

Well, there's so much audible breathing.

I did.

I did.

Would you like to give what you'd like to give your review?

Well, there's a dirty mountain, do.

All right.

There we go.

I'm almost there.

Well, everyone's so close.

So we're playing here in the control room as well.

Does anyone have bingo yet?

No, no, but we're close.

So it's a dirty mountain do.

Dirty mountain do.

So tell us what that is.

It's a mountain do with cream soda.

Okay, cream soda.

It's a lot going on there.

All right.

So cream soda and two seconds of silence.

We have another two so I didn't.

I'm not giving you another two seconds of silence there.

Okay, no more than.

Yeah, erase it.

You should put five seconds of silence there.

I'm too wrapped up in the conversation, too, to play.

Hmm.

Too interested in where this is going.

Dirty mountain do.

You know what that means.

Dipped a little something in it.

Rangus.

It's a mountain do with cream soda.

So what going on there?

That's not two seconds of silence.

Yeah.

Wasn't uh...

Yeah.

It's a lot. It's a lot going on there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's why I called.

What do you think I'm some boring?

You think I didn't come prepared? I have a take.

That's crazy.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, stupid. Yeah.

Now just sit back and let me talk.

It's going to take a little while for the words to come out.

But have patience and grace.

So what going on there? Yeah.

What's going on? Jesus Christ.

Wait, why do we include mouse clicks?

Pete was like, appreciate me, put mouse click.

But again, it's like here up.

Mouse click again. Mouse click again.

This is the one my dad answers, the phone

and I can tell he doesn't want to talk to me.

So just, you're the clicking of the mouse.

He's desperately waiting for my mother to come take the phone.

It's a lot going on there.

Yeah.

Wasn't

Wasn't all of us cracked up today.

So did I mean, there's a lot of a breathing all over the place with fun.

taste like cream soda. So my

disappointed. Was it taste like

cream soda?

Here's another two seconds

of sound. We got to put this

in the table. I got big go.

I got big go.

This game was stupid.

Silence in the kind of silence

you breathe in all over the

place. I don't like it.

Should I finish the call for

a question?

All right. Enough, enough

hygiene. So it's the cover.

All right, here we go. Hello?

You think you're trying to

sell them something like you?

Hello? You still there?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm still here.

We're talking about the mountain

do.

Was it taste like cream soda?

Hello? Are you there?

Tofer? Hello?

Hello? Tofer?

Tofer?

Hello?

Can you hear me?

It's a damn French call screener.

Is everything okay?

All right. Who knows?

He's gone.

I think it's our it's got to be

that's always our phones.

His head exploded with the

exciting news that he had had

a mountain do and a cream

soda. Well, no, he put them

together. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you concerned about

Joe's volume of breathing?

Yeah. Okay.

Tofer!

Tofer, did you get bored in hanging out?

Yeah.

This is like the RMP of calls.

What the hell's he doing there?

We got to do, he's got to help us,

but we got to do like name that noise.

It always says.

Yeah, I could hear him.

He couldn't hear me.

I could hear you.

In a inner out on cream soda.

Out. All right.

Inner out.

I don't know what to do. I still don't have

thing because we're not counting

silences. Apparently.

Do you have scars?

We heard scars.

Yeah, I still don't have things.

Okay.

I got a dummy card.

You ever had a root beer float?

No. No.

No.

What is it?

You know what kind of wood doesn't float.

By the way, I should have mentioned this,

but Slurpee's in 7-Eleven.

What's going on there?

There you go.

It's about time somewhat interested.

Hey, you know, you go in there and serve yourself.

What's going on?

You know, on Roach's birthday, he gets free ones.

Yeah.

He was born on July 11th.

He never made the connection until he was told on this very show.

That was good.

That was a great thing.

And they asked him for his ID.

He literally couldn't put two and two together.

He honestly thought the guy gave him it

because it was his birthday.

What happened is Roach went to the counter

at 7-Eleven on his birthday, which is 7-Eleven.

And he said, it's my birthday and the guy went,

he goes, man, my birthday.

And the guy went, oh yeah, let me see your ID.

And he goes, oh yeah.

And he like shows me the ID.

He goes, that's Slurpee's on the house.

And he goes, wow.

And he left.

And then the next time he came in, he's like,

I got a free Slurpee on my birthday.

And we're like, when's your birthday?

He's like, July 11th.

And someone was like, hey, dumbasses.

It's 7-Eleven.

And then we did the research.

And we're like, oh, yeah.

Slurpees and 7-Eleven.

What's going on there?

Ask Hitler.

I don't know.

I just googled it.

I don't see any news about Slurpees right now.

It's more of an observation.

It's not being covered in the lame street news.

It's like a sign felt what's going on there.

All right.

I'll play 30 seconds more of this.

Well, I'm with Slurpee's Slurpee here about this.

No, I didn't.

Please film me in.

They aren't they like known for their Slurpees?

Well, yeah, I'm back in the day.

We used to go to Quincy.

This doesn't sound like what's going on at all.

This sounds like back in the day.

The one, yeah, because you know, we'd cut through a hide park.

And we would go.

But there are there are huge Slurpee cops, by the way.

That you're right.

That is what it's known for.

Huh?

I thought it was something was going on.

I think we don't have time.

There's too much time.

It takes up too much time.

Very good.

Okay.

Cedric Max will be joining us in just a moment.

Support is available 24-7 with Verbo Care.

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Yeah, you know, they're the best friends who can be my buddy and me.

No, I mean, four of your best morning buddies.

Toucher and hardy on this boy's hunt.

Oh, political Cedric Maxwell.

Today, as we get our week, we Cedric Maxwell call.

Cedric Maxwell, his number is retired in the Raptors of TD Garden.

He is, of course, a long time voice of our radio broadcasts on this very station as the

playoffs get started soon.

They only needed a few weeks off between the last game of the season,

the beginning of the real playoffs.

But Cedric Maxwell, hello, sir.

Hello, gentlemen.

How are you guys doing?

Sean Grande will be my broadcast partner for the game.

Now, how far could you throw him?

I'm a little bit of Sharon.

Throw Sean and I'm not, I'm 70 years old.

I'm not throwing anybody anymore.

I'm shooting them.

We're hitting them in the head with a bat.

Have you fantasized about doing that to your broadcast partner?

Yeah, fantasize.

It's not used that word and you're talking about broadcast, but it's not good.

Maybe thought about it.

Yeah, fantasize.

It's not used that word.

Why does it, do you think it leans risque?

I didn't mean it in that sense.

Yeah, it has a risque moment in it and I don't think.

Well, that's unfair, Cedric.

That's not its intention.

And you are, you're inferring a lot there.

I do not like that.

Well, people do it all the time.

So I just try to try to stop it on the way he is.

Because Grande was on Nesson and he was very wave-ish.

Wave-ish, okay.

And then what does that work, wave-ish?

Do you remember the models of the 60s, like the Twiggies?

Yes.

It's sort of like that, that very thin spindly.

Week.

Okay, okay.

And we digress.

Yeah, okay, I'll get off of it.

All right.

Do you like to play in?

I actually do.

It gives, you know, it's been pretty exciting.

The fact that Golden State did what they did in T.L.

Hortford played that way.

Charlotte here, the excitement that was around that team,

what they were able to do.

So there's some, it's compelling what I think about those teams.

Some, you know, one game and go home.

It's been very interesting.

It's brought up Al Hortford.

We were talking about this the other day.

And I thought of you, Max.

Because, you know, Al Hortford had to, had to, you know,

change his game and, you know, become a three-point shooter.

We saw Andre drumming the other night.

You know, hit the dagger three-pointer.

And John and I were talking about it.

And I'm like, I thought Andre drumming all I did was rebound.

You know, and this guy is shooting three-pointers.

Now, it still must be amazing, too,

because you've talked about it.

Like if you were forced to make that transition,

maybe you could have, but it wasn't even really a consideration.

Now it's an absolute necessity.

If you're a big man, you got to be able to shoot threes, too.

Yes, that, that is true.

Is anybody who's out there?

I remember seeing many, many times, guys,

who were post-players over the years as a broadcaster

and watching them and going, man, why are you out shooting threes now?

And it says, you have to.

You have to have that in your pocket,

just in case you're out on the floor.

And you need to have it if you're going to be on the floor.

So, yeah, it's a necessity.

I would love to see some of the old-school guys,

like this, would Kareen have been in this pocket?

Alize Yuan, Kevin McHill had a little bit of that in this pocket.

For Robert Parrish didn't have that kind of range.

We was going to go out from the three-point line.

So, I would think about it.

And the four-stose guys into that situation

would have been interesting.

Now, the Celtics get Philadelphia, Max.

And we were talking about Joelle and B,

a couple of days ago.

Is Joelle and B, when he's on the floor,

still at the height of his powers

or have all the injuries kind of diminished a little bit?

John, you're here. He comes.

Mr. Obvious again.

Come on. Come on.

You know that Joelle and B is not who he was when he came early.

The injuries have really plagued him.

And everybody says the same thing.

This series, you probably won't,

I don't even know if you're going to see Joelle and B,

because of the appendix situation.

So, that is, it's just hard to see a great player

over the years, be so good and so great.

And then all of a sudden have these injuries

and take them to a yet a lower level.

And that's where it seems to be that right now.

What did you think about the, just to regress for a second?

What did you think about what Lamello Ball

did to Ben Adabayo?

I loved that.

You like the tank top?

It's, look, it is, it, you know,

it harps back to when I've talked to officials before.

And I think it was a couple of years ago.

And I saw the game change in a month

where there was a physical, it wasn't physical.

And then the guy in the playoffs, it became physical.

I walked up to the officials at half-court

and I said, I'd like to thank you guys

for bringing the game back to the 80s.

Something I recognize.

So when I see BAM go down, was it a cheap play?

Yeah. Did they find it?

Yeah.

But that's part of basketball, the intimidation factor.

Are you really trying to hurt somebody?

I don't think he was trying to do that.

But still the fact that it happened,

you know, that's the physicality of the game.

Do you, do you give any credibility

to his excuse he got hit in the head?

He was kind of dazed.

Didn't know where he was.

He didn't know what was going on.

I mean, he's done this before.

So, but does that ring true to you at all, Max?

That maybe he was just...

That's some BS.

By the guy I said, oh, I was tripped and I was confused.

And I did not quite know what I was doing.

No, you know what you were doing?

You did it.

You did it on purpose.

And if you were playing during the 80s,

then somebody's going to come back

and they're going to take your name for that.

And if you were playing Miami,

and if the series had continued

and it was another one off,

there would have been some retaliation

in a kind of funny way,

but it wouldn't have been like, you know,

like it was during the 80s

where you had to really throw down.

Lamello Ball said afterwards

he was going to go check on BAM

and see if he was OK.

Oh, it's not.

And he didn't.

He didn't.

And BAM said afterwards, no.

Lamello never went and came and checked on me.

If a situation like that happened in your day,

and you had genuinely heard someone.

It would have allowed somebody.

And John, I love you to death.

But John, would you allow another guy

to come in your locker room

after he flipped you over?

Would you know?

And I could come in and do that?

No.

Not doing that.

That's crap.

I mean, you tell me something.

Tell me these fairy tales about your old man.

I went to check on these guys

and I really felt bad.

And here's something I did.

You know, in 1985,

after we'd lost to the Lakers,

I actually went to that locker room

and I congratulated them on the victory.

So there's some people who do things.

But that particular thing about flipping a guy over

or tripping him and going to apologize in his locker room

after the other guys are already pissed off.

No, I'm not doing that.

Yeah.

Webber said the same thing.

He's like, you hold onto a guy's leg.

So even when Webber was playing,

I guess that's pretty much understood.

But that's interesting to max.

It's like, not only would you not do it,

you wouldn't be allowed in the locker room to do it.

So either way, it's not happening.

You only way you could do that

is if you met a guy after the game on the bus leaving,

you could have talked to him then.

But to go into another guy's locker room

after doing what you did and everybody being hated,

I just don't think,

I don't think security would allow you to do that.

Did you ever see a guy wait for a guy like by the bus?

Well, yeah, I was out.

I happen to be there when Carmelo did it.

That's right.

The whole hunting material thing

that supposedly Kevin Garnett said,

I came down at Madison Square Garden

after we played after self-exploiting Nix.

So let's be them.

And I'm like one of the first people down there,

but I see Carmelo down near the bus.

And he's just bopping a bit.

I mean, he's like, like he's a crack, crack dude.

I was like, what is he doing down here?

And he's just bouncing around

and he was literally down there,

he came down there to wait for Kevin Garnett

because he wanted the challenge Kevin.

So that never happened that they stirred them away.

But yeah, I've seen guys do that before.

Yeah, it's a different league now.

People are not as well as nice.

Well, everything is different.

No, we think that football players

quarterback still get hit anymore.

The way they did during the early times

or in the 70s and the 80s, that's gone away.

Baseball players, you really don't come in the home plate.

I mean, everything is really changed.

It's becoming a lot more family friendly.

Like John Wallace has a son that really is a really good player.

But in the other son, John, maybe not a good basketball player,

did he get an award for participation?

Is that how these things go now?

Will you come and participate?

Oh, he did.

No, he did not.

Sorry, John.

I know that's how it happens out here.

Out in the neighborhood where you live, John.

It's terrible, Max.

One more question.

The broadcast location in Philadelphia is back in the crowd.

Are you going to pick fights again with the sixers fans

while you're there?

John, that's still in litigation.

OK, we can't talk about that.

The white guy, he's dead now, John.

That was 40, 45 years to go.

I didn't know you kept track.

I was going to try to, I tried to, look,

I believe fans have already always had a thing.

And I am very friendly with them now.

So I don't anticipate a 70-year-old man up in the stand

swinging on anybody.

But I want to use one of Robert Parrish's lines,

but I can't use it now.

I want to say, ask can happen.

But I'm going to leave it at that.

I'm going to try to behave myself and then enjoy the games.

I think it's going to be an interesting series

for us a couple of games, because all the pressure

is on the ball, so it's all good.

There is no pressure at all on Philly,

because everybody's anticipating that the suburbs are going

to go rough shot through Philly.

So these first couple of minutes in the first game,

second game, those are going to be critical for the suburbs

to do what they need to do.

Well, if anything does happen with the fans there, Max,

just make sure you check on them afterward.

Yeah, I will.

I'll make sure I go to their houses.

Yeah.

It's that, excuse me, excuse me, sir.

I'm sorry, I put my forearm in your head.

I didn't mean to do that.

I've been feeling you would be more seeing them

at a table separated in front of a judge

if that was the case now in this day and age.

Why would you guys say that?

Mary told us not to do that rick of our stations

that don't do anything as a broadcaster.

It's going to put any bad light onto the station.

So I'm going to behave myself while I'm

looking at the stations.

Typical management saying don't fight the spectators

in the crowd.

I mean, it's just, what will they allow you to do?

Love that don't we love it.

And I have a message from your guy, Kyle Bailey

told me to tell you hello.

You know, I was down at the station here.

And he said, tell that, well, tell that guy.

I said, hello.

Did that really happen?

Yeah, why are you talking to Kyle Bailey?

He's on with him.

He said, I said, do I said work down there at the station?

You know, but WFNC I would do.

I would come on like you guys have at the studio now.

And we did a bunch of shows down there.

I did a show with him a couple of times.

And that's how he happened to get your telephone.

Well, yeah, I didn't know the guy up there who runs just.

Yeah, sure.

Here's his number.

I didn't know you were having a family feud moment

where the guy down here is Charlotte.

Yeah.

We called Rick and left about literally 12 voice messages.

So it was a nut job.

Yeah, and cut me to the quick.

Well, Cedric, I'm glad you're on our team.

Thank you.

Yeah, I can't wait for this game on Sunday.

I'm excited about the NBA and all the things going on.

And Sunday for it to be a game in Boston,

against Philadelphia, and that hearts back to tradition.

It makes it, it's going to make me

crazy thinking about planning against Dr. J and the 76ers

in Boston.

And you know, that those were great times for me

and my teammates during the 80s.

Yeah, one o'clock on Sunday, 76ers come into town.

Cedric will be on the call along with his partner,

Sean Grande, as Cedric likes to say.

Yeah, he's sad, he's sad, he's sad, he's sad, he's sad.

That's right, Cedric.

I'm the bigger man.

Cedric, in every way.

Cedric, thank you so much for joining us.

In every way?

Yeah, I guess.

No, probably not.

But anyway, Cedric enjoyed home, I'm sorry.

No, no, no, there's about a foot difference.

All right, Cedric, thank you so much.

Enjoy the call.

We'll talk to you soon.

All right, have a good gentleman.

All right, there you go.

Cedric Max, well, we'll be back in just a moment.

Here are the headlines.

I love that.

Hey, listen, if you've got to go, we understand.

But make sure you bring the sports hub app with you

so you can hear more of Tajer and Hardee.

That's what I want in my tombstone.

On the sports hub.

All three of us are going to be going on next week.

Hardee is going to Naples, Florida.

I'm going with my daughter to the Bahamas.

And John is going to a suburban Philadelphia.

He will be driving down there.

New York first.

Yeah, but that's not the interesting part.

OK.

New York, I could see going.

Yes.

The part that I don't understand is the suburban Philadelphia.

Be there.

Yeah, it's about 20 miles west.

Oh, so not even really suburban.

No, it's, it's way out there.

Rule.

That's Vanya.

Yeah.

Are they Amish?

No, we're just short of that country.

OK.

But what we're out there, yeah, near Ersinus University.

That's where we are.

Of course.

So everyone knows that Ersinus University is a place

very congested.

Right.

So what will you do?

How will you fill the days?

Oh, it's a movie theater I can walk to from my mother-in-law's

place.

I could probably go there.

The Wegmans up the road.

Plenty of chain restaurants nearby.

It's going to be great.

Sounds like a Dan Roachvaykish.

Actually, we're going to try and get tickets.

Groceries.

Celtics are going to be in Philadelphia on Friday.

And we're trying to get tickets for that particular playoff

game.

What do you mean, trying?

The prices are outrageous at the moment.

Oh, you're going to wait until the day before?

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

So you think you'll go to that?

Yes.

That is the goal for Friday night.

All right.

That's not bad.

As a reward for your children's for suffering through the

boredom that they will be going at, they will be.

I mean, the multiple car rides.

Yeah.

No, it's going to be great.

I mean, I used to have to spend weeks, like a couple weeks,

that my grandparents house, my mom's parents house, in the

middle of Long Island, like not in Assault County, like the

middle of Long Island, like comic, like that area.

And back in the day, that was like rural.

And they didn't, obviously there were no phones or internet.

There was no, they didn't have home computer.

They didn't have cable.

They didn't have anything.

There was nothing to do.

And I was there for two weeks with no one to play with and

nothing to do.

It was just the worst.

And my parents used to dump me on my grandmother.

We lived on Long Island to a place called Lido Beach.

And it's on the South Shore.

And it was the same thing.

My sister and I would sit there.

You would have sister though.

I didn't have anybody.

No, I understand.

But the theory is the same.

It's like my sister hung out and played games together.

It's just, you had that option.

It's the same thing.

It was not fun.

So what we would do is finally my parents took me to Hilton head.

And we stayed at the, one of the, what at the time we're called

plantations.

They don't call them that anymore.

Are you like that?

I'd loved it.

That's why we went as a young history, Bob.

That's why we went.

Stop trying to go up the master's stuff.

So we, I, and then I used to like walk alone to the beach and

like just go up to kids and be like, Hey, yeah, play with me.

Essentially, I'd be like, hi.

And then I would end up having a good time.

Yeah, like I, it was so easy to hook up with girls and stuff

because it was vacation.

I would just tell these outrageous lies.

How are you?

Starting at like 12, probably, hook and up, huh?

Well, one time when I was, so I had one year where I was good

looking, like in eighth grade, I was good looking, like legitimately

good looking and I was good looking enough that I had been

skateboarding around where my grandparents lived.

And we were like all sitting around in the living room,

watching TV and two girls came up to the window and knocked.

And I went out and I hooked up with both of them.

And so, I mean, not like it didn't have sex with them,

but I like made out with both of them.

And like I was like, wow, maybe I'm good looking.

And I thought that.

And like there's pictures, like we went to.

The leading moment in 1988.

We went to Cooper's town and there's a picture of me.

And I'm like, good looking.

I got like my hair is like from the summer.

Like it's blonde.

Like I have a decent haircut.

And it's before like I was hairy.

And then I realized quickly that was not lasting.

But I had that one magical year of being good looking.

Was this the same era in which you told a girl

that you were in the descendants?

Yeah, the descendants.

It's so cringey that I don't even like talking about it.

But I called myself screaming to this punk girl.

I'm like, I'm in the descendants.

And she goes, who are you?

I go, I'm Stephen Eagerton.

And she goes, by the way, his name's Stefan.

And I'm like, okay, thanks.

It was nice lying to you.

I have no self esteem.

Thanks.

Oh, no.

No.

Well, you know the health.

How old were you when you did that?

15.

But you know the story.

I've told it on the air is that me and my friend Craig

went to Hilton Head in the year before I had met a girl

and hooked up with her.

And we wrote letters to each other throughout the year.

And it was kind of understood

that I was going to lose my virginity to her.

This is right before I lost my virginity at 15.

And we went out to, when I was 15,

it was probably like a month before I actually lost my virginity.

And I met the girl and Craig and I got into a hot tub

with her.

And I feel her reaching for me under the water.

And then I realized she's doing the same thing to Craig.

So I get out of the hot tub

and I'm like on the verge of like tears.

Like I waited all year.

Like I've been so excited to see this girl.

And I'm like about to cry.

And then like 15 seconds after,

Craig comes paddling behind me.

And he's like, no time for that.

And I went, that's a good friend.

Yeah.

Because he could have just sat there and had her finish.

But he went, no.

He got up and left, too.

He thought it was disrespectful to me.

Good for her for doing the browsing, though.

You know, not just settling.

Maybe she felt like in retrospect,

maybe she felt like that's what she was supposed to do.

I don't know.

It wasn't what either of us, any of us wanted.

I don't imagine it's what she wanted either.

But for whatever reason,

I think she probably thought that that would be cool

or something.

I don't know.

But it was heartbreaking.

Pretty balsy for you, too,

to claim to be the guitars from the descendants.

Quick look shows that he's at least 10 years older than you.

I know it's like more than that.

Yeah.

I just figured 15 year old,

you were claiming to be like a 28 year old?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I figured they wouldn't know.

What are the odds, seriously?

All the descendants?

No, you're not.

Yeah, yeah.

Come on, punk rocker or an 80?

Yeah, probably 100% for the punk rock chick,

100% that she was going to know.

But I'm such an idiot.

I didn't know that anyone else knew I thought they were all Hicks.

Like, I'm like, they thought they were all dumb Hicks.

So I was like, I'll say whatever I want.

And they'll believe it.

I'm from Detroit.

They're not going to know these stupid hillbillies.

I'm sure enough, just you could be in the punk rock wherever you lived.

It didn't matter what city you were in.

What movie are you going to see, John?

I have no idea.

I have no idea.

There's a lot of really good ones, obviously.

Yeah, I know.

There's nothing.

Yeah, yeah.

You can see the Mario brother.

I know, which is a plot list fever dream.

There's nothing, nothing.

I know other people have seen the Super Mario's Brothers movie.

I could, it's loosely a movie.

It's images upon a screen.

Like, it's just this wild, spastic epileptic seizure of a film.

It's kind of like that guy who did the Banksy movie and his image after image with a pulsing

sound in the background.

It's like in boomerang where they let the wild guy from the seven up commercials make

the ad.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's like what Super Mario brothers is.

It's just some weird thing to set off an epileptic fit.

All right.

We'll be back in just a moment.

Jim Nance was on Pat McAfee.

So you know, it was really good.

I'll be back in just a moment.