Johnny Dollar - The Case of Barton Drake

0:00I'm now for your truly Johnny dollar. The next half hour has its baggage packed to take a trip with America's fabulous freelance insurance investigator, Johnny Dollar. His insurance investigation is just an expert. At making out his expense account, he's an absolute genius. The insurance account submitted by Special Investigator, Johnny Dollar, to Home Office, American Pioneer Life Insurance Company, Hartford, Connecticut. Attention, WK Green, General Manager. The following is an accounting of my expenditures in the case of Barton Drake or a How I Play

1:03Ducks and Drakes with a Drake who decks. The insurance account, item 1. $100, I'm charging you for one hour's sleep by miss answering your telephone call at 9 o'clock in the morning. The insurance account, item 2. A dollar one half. I had to go out for breakfast. He said money didn't leave me any eggs. Item 3. Can't spare you off. $1. Good morning, Johnny. Why don't we make that good night sometime soon? Shall we check in? Well, I've had a time up some of your expense accounts. I think maybe anything with you might be fun. But is Mr. Stole Stonewall waiting for you? Hasn't he gotten out of that military kick yet? No, he still thinks he's a general. But to me, he's still just what he was before he ever went into the army.

2:06Stole SNF stopped fighting the battle of the businessman's bulge, huh? Well, forward march. Good morning, Mr. Green, sir. Miss Dollar reporting his order, sir. Oh, yeah. What's this looting and heels-licking about? I thought you might be home sick for some military cut-offing. Yeah. And be surprised to get any kind of courtesy from you. But we're not paying you to be polite. Sit down. Here. I got a job for you. Here. I had a copy made of the file in that case. You can take it. Thanks. Martin Drake, huh? Oh, yeah. I remember him. Let's see. Life insurance. $30,000. Beneficiary Mrs. Barton Drake. Well, what is it, is he dead or just dying? Neither we hold. Well, if you'll pardon a little before noon philosophy, just by living, a man is slowly dying. We have a statistical department to worry about that, darling. Your job is to find this man Barton Drake.

3:08Okay. What's the story? As far as the company is concerned, the story started one night just short of seven years ago. Oh, that would make it 1942. Yes, the same year I was called upon to fight for my country. Yeah. In the insurance division, Pentagon building, Washington, DC. Ah. But don't get me wrong. Those who served can be just as proud of what they did as those who fought. As you were saying. I merely use the word fighters as a general term. Yes, general. Barton Drake. One night about seven years ago. Here. When we issued the life policy on Drake, he listed his occupation as out of hardware. Hardware store proprietor. Hardware. As I recall it, he specialized in unregistered pistols, handcuffs, keys, and hacksaws. And if I'm not wrong, at the time he disappeared, he was under suspicion of grand loss and he, and wanted for assault, with intent to kill a police officer. That's right. At the time, he was expected of a number of large-rubs. Now, refresh me on that costume shooting. How about that, Hal?

4:08You remember? When the police arrived at the house to pick him up, the open fire from the bedroom window made a dashboard out of the back door. And there was a chase during which the car skidded and went through the rail of a bridge into the river. Oh, yes. Now I remember, you know. They never did recover the body or the loose. All they got back was a wet duet. A dollar. That was seven years ago. At least it will be some years and one more week. At that time, Barton Drake will be declared legally dead by the probate court. He is white, is already instituted proceedings. And when the court says she's a widow, she says, I want my $30,000. And you have to pay it, right? Yeah, exactly. But we're not going to pay that $30,000 if we can help. At nine o'clock this morning, the missing person's bureau, the New York police department, called us, and gave us reason to hope that Drake is still alive. What happened? Did they see him in a crystal ball? And you don't know how close to the shoes you've came to. Oh. The missing person's boys have a new habit these days. Whenever there's a television show, there's a public crowd involved. They watch it. That's nice. They think they spotted Barton Drake at the prizemice.

5:09Well, that's all we've got to go on, but we think he's alive and that he's somewhere in New York. Well, that's a start anyway. I know where to find New York. Fence the count item for $7. Mileage, Parkbirds in New York. I stopped in Bridgeport to soak up a dish of coffee. And whatever information there might be in the insurance file. Of the two, the coffee was the stronger. All I learned from the file was Drake's physical measurement. The birthplace of his mother, his wife's maiden name, the last known quotation on his blood pressure, and his former dress in Manhattan Law Island, to which I went. The house had a $40,000 look about it, and its grounds were being secured by a gardener, who had a $12 a day look about him. Yes sir? Oh, I like to see Mrs. Drake.

6:12Here's my card. Yes sir. Thank you. Thank you. If you wait here in the hole, sir, I'll go tell her how you're doing. Made had a $40 a week look about murder, and completed the picture of prosperity. For a hardware merchant, Barton Drake had died leaving his wife living a soft life. Either that or he was still alive, and not giving his wife grounds for divorce on the basis of non-support. Or she was that certain kind of gal, who wouldn't have any trouble making that certain kind of man get up that certain kind of money. And when I saw her, I knew not only that I couldn't afford her, but that Drake probably hadn't been able to, which probably led to his undoing. Just to give you an idea, she was wearing a diamond necklace and a negotiate, and it was two o'clock in the afternoon. A $20? Mrs. Drake? Yes, she's a Drake. I'm a Drake, don't you come and enjoy me. Well, I'll join you, but no breakfast. I just had a tomato surprise. Hmm?

7:12Lunch. Oh, I'm glad you didn't leave me. Come on, not in here. Are you sure you would have some breakfast? No, I couldn't bring myself to her that poor tired trouch you got there. I'm sure you would have some tea that's a genuine English kipper. Oh, I beg your pardon? He didn't recognize it without its monical. Oh, you're more fun than I open it. I should have you around when I get up every day. Well, I'm selling to tell you this, it makes you really feel good. You don't mean that bunch of rough shirts with the insurance company decided to give me my money without going to all that supposed to pollate you. Oh, I've got better news than that. You may not get that money. Well, we think you have a chance of getting your husband back. What? Yeah, I don't mean the York police think they saw him last night. Alive. Oh, maybe I was wrong. Maybe that doesn't make you happy. Why, did you just... Yes. Yes, of course, of course it makes me happy.

8:12But I had to live without a man for seven years and then have a stranger just sit across the table and tell me tell you we's alive, but it feels too much. Tell me where they found him. They didn't. They think they spotted him at the fight they were watching on television. I imagine they're looking for him. I know I am. Well, it's impossible if you were alive and back in New York he'd come to me. That's what I was hoping, Mrs. Dre. Well, I don't believe. Why would he do a thing like that to me? Why would he make me suffer all these things? I think you better go now. I've got to be alone. I've got to fix. Oh, but why? Why? Please, Mr. Dulles. I won't be alone. I figured if she wanted to be alone it was for a good reason. Because that ladder she'd gotten into was strictly from soap opera. She flooded me to the door on a tide of tears. Once outside, I picked up the hedgefippers. The gardener had conveniently left near the front wall and pruned the telephone wires leading into the house.

9:13Then I took a plant on the plates from the other side of the street. I figured Mrs. Drake would want to share her troubles with somebody and with the phone wires cut. She'd have to leave the house to do it, giving me a chance to follow her. And that's the way it worked out. She led me someplace all the way into New York City, but not to Barton. Great. That would have been too easy. Once in Manhattan, she headed for a drug store and a telephone booth. I split into the phone booth beside hers. I got a receiver off the hook and my niche on the slot and time to use an old trickle mine. As she dialed, I tried to duplicate it with my phone. She dialed. And I dialed. I was just one number behind her all the way. When she was through dialing, I held off dialing the last number on my phone until she got an answer. And then I let it go. The number she was calling was busy.

10:13It was still for coincidence, but it was good enough for me. I got a number I got in my little telephone game with Tag and then listen. I got to see you right away, where you're coming from. All right, officer. The usual place turned out to be the usual place to meet Train. Grand Central Station. But no train ever pulled in the where it was straight went. As a matter of fact, no man ever did. Unless he was flummin' maybe. At right, where the ladies go to potter than knows his things. He came out 30 minutes later alone, but she never hit the street. Instead, she went through the tunnel into the adjoining Commodore Hotel and checked into room 407. The only room I could get was 1330. Expense account item five, $10. Kipped a hotel detective for keeping an eye on the iPhone in 407. Item six, $35. Purchase of portable phonographs. Item seven, $65.

11:14Purchase of phonograph records. Frank Sinatra singing night and day. With this ram edition, I went back to my hotel room and gunning for a bird I'd never seen. I set up the phonograph near the telephone, put on the record, and placed it all to the number Mrs. Drake had called earlier in the day. Hello? Hello there! 7 p.m. again and this is your favorite disc jockey. Happy Jack the money man, yes? Your favorite disc jockey, your spinner with the winners. Tell me, are you listening to our show? My radio is not on good back. Oh, the phone, madam, a little thing like that doesn't make any difference to happy jack. Here's all you have to do to win a house full of prizes. You just listen closely over the phone and identify today's puzzle platter and you'll win all these wonderful prizes. A genuine sunbeam mixed master that makes those fresh little eggs just happy to get beat up. Yes, then you'll clean up with the next prize. Make a real clean sweep with a Hoover vacuum cleaner, with all attachments and no strings attached. And to send you tripping happily through life, you'll also receive a handsome set of easy to luggage, a pair of radiator bags.

12:19Are you interested? Well, of course I am. All right then, here's the tool. Madam, there. There it is. What's the title of that song? Side and day. You're right. You win all the sensational prizes. Quickly now, give me your name and address. They'll be delivered tonight. This is not. Yes, Mrs. Not. The street number? 127 E89 Street, apartment 3C. Thank you, Mrs. Not. You'll get the whole work immediately. Bence accounts, items 8, 9 and 10. 39.50, purchase of mixed master. 79.50, purchase of vacuum cleaner and 89.50, purchase of luggage. You may resent this expenditure, but there's one thing you must remember. Nobody can resist trading the name and address, but something for nothing.

13:27I felt like an out of season Santa Claus when I knocked on the bit of apartment 3C at 127 E.C. The frame suddenly became a picture frame and casing a live version of Whistler's grandmother. Complete with wheelchair and crocheted ass gans. Just bring the men and set them down. Yes, ma'am. I'm happy Jack and I'm glad to meet you. Right in here and set them down. Ah, yes. There you are, Mrs. Not. You lucky woman you. Is that all? Almost. Now all we need from you is a little information. Just some background on today's winner. It's a pass along to my radio audience. Be up and be young man, I'll write you a letter. Oh, calm now, Mrs. Not. Never mind, I have no time now. Just a few questions while I check you out on the hoover. I don't need them. They're checking out. I'll go away. I must say Mrs. Not. You're a bad winner. So now I'm afraid I'm going to have to step around to find out how good a loser you are. What do you mean? Come in. You. Tell her. Do you know this man? Do I know him?

14:27He's that insurance investigator, Johnny Dollars. Granny came flying out of the wheelchair, multiplying a height by three. When I first saw Granny's hand flying to what me, it looked like there was an old fashioned wedding ring on each finger. But just just too late I saw it was only a set of brass knuckles. Oh. In just a moment we'll return to the second act of yours truly, Johnny Dollars. CBS cordially invite you to hear the adventures of Philip Marlow and the stories of modern crimes and their solutions as unfolded on gangbusters when they come to you every Saturday night on most of these same CBS stations. Tomorrow night Philip Marlow will investigate the mystery behind the cloak of Camea Mea and gangbusters will deal with the case of the Kellers killer. Now back to yours truly, Johnny Dollars.

15:36When I woke up the suns were enlightening in my head with getting an answer from the sky and I started getting some answers too. You James give me a big roll of life. Or any boy that changed to the base register and in thrown it was smoking a big cigar. I stayed on the floor and quiet. I didn't want the brass knuckles pruning the another lullaby. I'm all the closer falling at the whole deal. I too, I didn't want you to try to collect on that insurance. Why'd you do it? It's $30,000 dollars, that's why. Here you talk you think you were going hungry. What do you think I am? Some empty milk bottle? You can run down to the corner and get your nickel back on? We were trying to do it anyways. Tell me out. There you are. You know what started this trouble. You had to go to the fight last night. Oh big man. Dumb cops you call. Don't worry about me. They haven't. I'll take care of myself. But not with you rousing me up. Getting mixed up with dirty dealers like this guy, Dollars. Oh you are so smart. Why did you let him in here? Shut up! You wanted to give me something for free. That's why. Well I've got something for him. A free boat ride. We'll let Cher over here. We'll take him out in that.

16:42The wheelchair ride was short to the street. The auto ride was longer to the ocean. And from what I could gather on the dock, the boat ride was to be even longer to my doom. I was still playing sleeping beauty and listening to the supposed to be dead man Barton Drake telling his wife Stella how he was going to make my slumber permanent. Come on, come on. Get a move on. I've got his hand side hurry up with his feet. I'm almost there. Now what? Now I'll stand back while I heat him up on the deck. Oh, why don't you go to tie him to something? Well what? They ever find this boat. They're going to find it empty. One good wave out there and this guy goes for a swim. There. The wheel's last. He's got plenty of gas and plenty of ocean out there. That'll keep Mr. Happy Jack. Now I'm giving him away.

17:46Making that solid shower of that with my clothes on wasn't the big chill in my life. I was scared. My heart was racing faster than the boat engine. The first 20 minutes were all I could think about was hanging onto that slippery deck with all I had to hang with. My hopes and my heels. I was on a thin strip of deck after the wheel. Tied by my hands with a deck sweep. But that first starting point I went to work trying to out navigate that rope. With which Barton Drake had flashed the wheel. I worked my time to rest over the cleat and dropped my legs down over the side into the icy racing water. I had rigged myself into a human jury rudder to swing the boat off its course. I didn't know where it would take me but I didn't care as long as it wasn't out for the open sea.

18:52Oh, making up there. Might as well tell you. You boat sunk and you ruined the knock last night doing it. Let's pay for it. My name's Fred kindly. I've been just a beach and I can be paid that too. It cost me to find out where I am. I think there's nothing talking. You're on Slate Island. How much needed? All Slate didn't have a sense of drill no chalk to go with it. Dandy. Where are my clothes? At the sun. How about my wallet? A fish must have got it. Mind if I feel your back for fins. I don't get funny young fellas. Might want to be getting off this island someday. Someday. Some minutes more like it. I'm going to get off this island. I'm going to get off this island someday. I'm going to get off this island someday. I'm going to get off this island someday. Some minutes more like it. You got a boat? Of course I got a boat. It's got much food. Maybe if I could afford to buy some supply tickets and I got to the mainland. Well, how much would it cost?

19:54Oh, much is a hundred dollars, maybe. OK, let's go. Hold on now. Only said maybe. Come think of it, my costume. Too much. OK. It's a swindler. Two hundred dollars. Swindler, am I? I say, the fellas might well have the game as a name. It makes the price $500 with a great weekend goods. If you don't want to pay it, you can get out and make some mail booths. Maybe I will. Why don't you get here? A week from Tuesday. OK, he'll get you $500 worth of canned goods. Why can't we start? Now give it a close. Soon you put it in the name and sign your name. Where's the paper? Right here. Keep it handy. Just fill in the amount here. $500 worth. It's the regular contact. OK. Give it here. $500. And what do I sign? I bet. Just put it in. There you are. All signed. That's a peculiar name. Ali Khan. I'd had more than my share of wind the night before, so I decided to throw a caution to it.

21:01I was building at 127 East 89th Street, enough to apartment 3C. First I knocked with my knuckles and got no answers, so then I knocked with my feet. Well, what do you know? The lock broke. There was nobody home. And Barton Drake went to an out calling himself Granny at the moment because the wheelchair part of his disguise was also among the missing. The closet was empty. And the brand new gladiator bags I had the previous evening were nowhere to be found. Well nobody could say I hadn't made it easy for Drake to make a getaway with Michael's giveaway. I'd even supplied the luggage. But all the traffic wasn't going, so it was coming. Oh, well still I. There's one bad thing about kicking your way into places you can't lock the door behind you. Well now that you're in you better come all the way in. What are you doing here? You should be asking me what I'm doing alive. The only answer I've got for that is I don't murder easily. Please, Barton. Oh, that was the next question I was going to ask you. Now that that one's gone, I've got a couple more I'd like to ask you. And don't argue. I don't know anything.

22:01Well then let me tell you something. If you're not guilty of anything else, you are guilty of attempted insurance fraud. That's in my department. The tougher you make it on me, the tougher I'm when I'm on you. Now about those questions. How long has your husband back here in the US? He. He ever left here. Oh, the night is car crash for the bridge. He just grabbed himself a hideaway and he can stay put, huh? How long has he been using that old video disguise? All the time. Okay, well now my last question. That bag in your hand. Where were you going? Say let's find out. Give me that bag. Oh, what's this? Well, it's either a bathing suit or a two-piece hankerchief. And that blouse there, that doesn't look like it's for dinnerware and an igloo. You were a headed south. So we were headed south. What about we, huh? Have you asked me? And I doubt that you will, so I'll tell you anyway. Your hopes just headed south. Lady, you've been double-crossed. Your husband took off without you. I don't believe it. If he left here, he had a good reason. That's your gift, but we're not playing your hunches.

23:02We're playing mine from here on in. Just where did he say you were going? I don't remember. Maybe it'll help if first you remember what I told you about insurance fraud. It's good for 10 to 20 years. Now do you remember? He bought tickets on the orange blossom special for Florida, at least 10 stations and an hour and a half. Oh, he's got that little backwards. The orange blossom special pulls out in half an hour. That doesn't even give me enough time to get down there. Yeah, I might wait. Now. Information. Hello, information. Look, I want the telephone number of the Penn Station branch of a Travelers Aid Society. This was once when I didn't want the Society to aid the Traveler. I told him the Barton Drake was my invalid aunt, and his nutty as a fruit cake. I told him the help I described his costumes from the days he's on his hat, the buttons on his shoes. I tagged it off with a warning that when my aunt left the house, she thought she was a honeybee.

24:02And was on her way to throw herself in one of the orange blossom special wheelchair and all. The guy on the other end of the line took off to round up the railway police, and I took off to round up a taxi. I rode the escalator into the main waiting room. Halfway down, I spotted Barton Drake and his grandmother get up. He was surrounded by police, and the police were surrounded by a small crowd. I walked over. The orange blossom special pulls out in half an hour. I don't know what kind of a fight for Joe Fizz is, your husband is not funny. You made me the fight thing, and I won't even have a debut. No, no mother, don't be upset in yourself. Don't you know me, young aunt, just give me an understanding. Anything I didn't tell you to do. Drake was getting ready for trouble. If the cops couldn't see it, I could. His hand was under his ass can, and I knew the least it could be holding was a fistful of brass knuckles, but probably more. He was getting ready to make a run for it.

25:02I wasn't taking any chances. I edge my way to the crowd, up behind the wheelchair. Spundered around, and hit what looked like somebody's grandmother a beautiful shot of the whist. I'm going to hit the right! Hit back! Got him, now wait a minute, I'll almost say you don't understand. Hit him only, you idiot! He's not an old lady. Probably a wanted. Here, maybe this will quiet get him down. Johnny! Hi, a chickie. Oh, that bandit. What's the matter with your head? No brains. Where's the general? When he found out you saved American tie in your $30,000, he decided to take the morning off and celebrate.

26:02He's out playing golf. Oh, great. To celebrate my getting hit on the head with police clubs, he goes out and swings golf clubs. Oh, Johnny, I was sort of... Now, don't worry, chickie, I still got enough energy left for night clubs. Do you want to help me with this suspense account? I'll get it out of the way. Oh, that's all it's fancy, true. Uh-huh. Expense accounts submitted by Special Investigator Johnny Dollar, to Home Office American Tie and Your Life Insurance Company. First, the police held me and let Granny Drake go to the hospital where they learned the truth. Then let me go to the hospital and transfer Edward Barton Drake to the Popey, where he was soon joined by his lady in waiting. Mrs. Drake. Uh, expense account item 11, something I almost forgot. $500, canned goods. For the man who got me off the rocks on Slate Island, Mr. Fred kindly.

27:03Even if he did rob me, I didn't feel like robbing him. The only thing I did do was remove all the labels from the $500 worth of canned goods. I'm sure that this will see to it that Mr. kindly had some very unbalanced meals. Because I happen to know that there's no difference in the sound of canned tomatoes and canned peaches when you shake the canned. Uh, expense account total, $14, $82, and $63. Yours, um, truly, Johnny Dollar. At last, mankind is facing up to one of its most feared diseases, cancer. Research scientists are working tirelessly exploring every avenue that might lead to new treatments, new cures, and new insight into the causes of the disease. At the same time, the American Cancer Society is working to keep the public informed of all the progress that has been made, trying to reach everyone with a message that the sooner a diagnosis is made,

28:10the better the chances of cure. Together, this public education and research attack should bring great progress in the control of cancer. But both phases of this program are costly, realizing you are giving to a fight against the disease that could menace you, give generously to the American Cancer Society's drive for funds this year. Your truly Johnny Dollar, stars Carl's Russell as Johnny. Our music is composed and conducted by Lee Stevens. Your truly Johnny Dollar is written by Paul Douglas and Gildao, and is produced and directed by Richard Sanfill for CBS, where 99 million people gather every week, the Columbia Broadcasting System.