Johnny Knoxville

Hello, my name is Johnny Knoxville, and I feel harder than a turnbuckle about being

Conan O'Brien's friend.

You know what?

I think you just may have had the best one ever before.

Would you prefer harder than a folding chair because I can switch?

I like turnbuckle.

It's got a nice, it's really poetic.

And I want that on my gravestone, harder than a turnbuckle.

And soon.

Hey there, welcome to Conan O'Brien's friend, joined by Sonomossession and Matt Gourley,

still out on a parental leave, has a brand new baby, very excited for him, and for his

wife Amanda.

He's got two girls now, which is just lovely.

And David Hopping, filling in for him, David, good to have you here again.

Thank you.

Happy to be here.

Nice to see you.

David, you love your reality television, you just love it.

Yeah.

Explain one thing to me, because David loves the show Traders, and so I checked out the

new season of Traders, because someone I knew was a contestant on the show, and I thought

I just want to see what this is like, and I've seen it before, but I don't know what

this strategy is on a show like that.

I was watching Traders, and I thought, isn't it, they all act like, I'm going to really

practice my wiles and my expertise, and I'm going to win the game.

And I think it's not like chess, it looks like people are just doing stuff, but I don't

really see a strategy, and then they get voted off or not.

Yeah.

It feels kind of random.

Am I wrong?

I just like really be like paying attention to people, like to slip up, like if someone

as a trader, I'm like really watching to see if she messes up and gives me any clue

that she's the person going and meeting at night to like kill people in the castle.

Well, here's why I watch.

I watch because Alan Cumming saying the word murder.

That is what keeps me coming back, and he says it, I mean, he must know it's working

for him, because his outfits are fantastic, they're just wonderful.

And he's, he's just chewing scenery left and right in the most delicious way, but he manages

to say, murder, maybe every other sentence, you know, and it's, so that's fun.

And then people are doing stuff like they're running around and you've got to put this

Camelope on top of that gravestone.

Oh, no, not on that gravestone.

And it doesn't seem to, I try to figure out what it's all about and I don't know.

I don't watch it.

What do you, what reality shows you obsessed with, Sonna?

You know what?

I'm not watching reality right now.

I'm watching, I'm in the, I just like, I like horny shows.

That's what I do.

I'm sorry.

And you know that about me.

He did rivalry.

Well, yeah.

Now I'm watching the new season of Tell Me Lies.

David and I talked about that.

I don't know what that is.

Of course you don't.

How is it horny?

No, it's, it's horny.

There's, there's like sexy people's sexing.

And so I like it.

Is it full nudity?

No.

Like, do you see things?

No, no, but just like, yeah, it is actually.

It's like soft core kind of.

Not soft core.

No, and not so.

It's like with, you know, there's stuff, there's, you could see it, but you can't see

it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You see the occasional butt, maybe a half boob.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

You're getting really into like, details.

Did you draw what you see?

Oh my God.

You just draw it for me.

You can watch it.

You're an adult man.

If you want to watch it, you can.

Yeah.

Hmm.

Sometimes my priest stops by.

I've heard your gaze, father of McNulty.

Yeah.

Oh my God.

So reality shows, yeah.

What is your, what's your go-to reality show?

Is it traders or no?

I would say big brother than traders, which I know Blaywatches.

An adult is a big brother.

You're a big brother.

I've never been a big brother.

I like traders too.

Yeah.

Here's what I love about big brother, which is it's in a house.

The idea is it's people who are sequester in a house and they don't get to see another

person period.

Like none of the producers they see, all the camera people are behind one way mirrors.

And it's watching 18 people slowly lose their mind over the course of a season.

Because the house is very big and it's made for 18 people, but people get voted out

every week.

So when it gets down like to like six people in a house full of 4, 18 people and they

haven't talked to anyone else for like months, it is insane.

Would you agree with that assessment, Adam?

I would.

There's something really comforting about it.

It's on three nights a week during the summer when like a lot of the big sports are off

season.

And it's it would be considered boring at times.

It's people sitting around whispering like on couches, whispering about strategy, but there's

just something kind of passive and enjoyable.

Yeah.

It's better than talking to your loved ones or reading a really good, moving book.

No judgment.

Yeah.

They also have a thing called big brother after dark and they have all these camp refeeds

where you could just when they're not on the show, you could just watch them unfiltered.

And I used to put those on and work out when they were working out in the house.

I would.

Yeah.

Well, I like I had a friend because I live alone.

I just say, first of all, it's just for voyeur as I think.

And in my day, you had to go out and do your own peeping.

And I think that's one of the things we've lost in America is you had to go into someone

else's yard and you had to hang around near the shrubs and then peek in through their

windows and hope that someone was undressing.

And that's the kind of stuff that I thought really was the fiber of this country, the backbone.

Yeah.

I peeped all through my teens, my 20s, my 30s, I, I leared, I awgled, I peered occasionally.

And those were things that those taught me valuable life skills.

And like, what?

Now people were just, oh, I don't have to do that.

I don't have to even leave my house.

I left my house wandering at night to try and find houses that were brightly lit, where

people were possibly undressing maybe on the first floor.

Okay.

Or if it's on the second floor, I had to go up a drain pipe.

This is stuff that taught me to be resilient.

You really had to put the work in.

I got my arm and hand strength from climbing up the sides of houses.

And then the policemen would show up and they'd say, hey, we've got a peeper.

And then I had to haul ass.

I had to scurry down and I had to run and that old cherry top would come after

where, and they would say, peeper, peeper, stand still.

And I had to run.

I had to really run and run and run.

And then I'd get home.

And my mother would say, how the peep and go, my mother said, how the, how do we have

the peep and go tonight?

Oh, no.

And I'd say, I got chased by the fuzz and she'd say, ah, have a fried ham.

And so, you know, a chow down.

And that was just how things were in my mind.

So now we can just put on paramount.

Bless.

You ever do any peeping there at where to back in my day?

Yeah.

No.

No.

No.

Don't play along.

Would they?

Anyone here want to join me on this peeper?

You're the only peeper.

You're the only peeper.

You're the only peeper.

I'd peep to the right.

I'd peep to the left.

I was really good.

I used to not be able to go to the left.

But then I learned how.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, who?

I'm a good peeper.

I just love saying peeper now.

Today's guest, co-creative, and stars in the MTV series,

Jackass.

This guy would appreciate my peeping pass.

I know it would.

Now you can see him hosting the Fox series, Fear Factor, House of Fear.

And he just announced that a fifth Jackass movie is on the way.

That's good news.

Later this year, we're through these here.

Johnny Knoxville, welcome.

I've always been an admirer of yours.

And you are a, have a special place in my heart.

Because in another lifetime, you were on an episode of the late night show that we then

decided to turn into Claimation.

And so, and it was an episode where I think you were the first guest, and you were great.

And so it's all happens in Claimation later on.

And then I think Richard Lewis comes out and starts talking about Shaq's penis.

Just goes off the rails.

It was wonderful.

It was wonderful.

He goes off the rails.

And at one point, I stand, this is in the real show, I stand, and I say, walk with me,

Johnny, because he's going on this long.

He says he saw Shaq's penis and he's describing it.

And I walk with you, and I put my armor on your shoulder, and you and I walk to the fake

window and look out at the fake window while Richard Lewis is still talking about Shaq's

penis.

And then this all happened in Claimation, which made me so happy because I'm like, walk

with me, Johnny, and it's not good Claimation.

And David Bowie's there.

And I think he was on the couch.

I don't know if Richard Lewis starts going off and from him.

I don't remember.

It's all a blow.

Yeah.

Because that's the first time.

That's the first time.

Well, I think maybe the only time I met David Bowie.

And it was like, this is one of the best nights, because after we filmed, you're like, wow,

it was good.

We wanted to do a Claimation episode, but we wanted a really great episode that would

be visual and funny to see in Claimation.

And then that was the episode.

We decided, oh, that's not going to get better than that.

And then it was so much fun, but there are so many times, I was the weirdest times.

I'll like be brushing my teeth and I'll hear, walk with me, Johnny.

You and I go into the window to look out so weird, but you've always been, you're always

an amazing guest and a true, true year, your, your uvra, your work, a real showman, you

know?

And so I wanted to start with, I don't do this with every guest, but you have such a fascinating

career arc.

Do you know what I mean?

Well, just absolutely fascinating.

Why did you do quotations when you said career Claimation?

Son of a...

I'm including myself in there, too.

No, I've, I've, no one sets out to have a career the way that you have.

And it's, I just think there's so much that's brilliant about it and, and then you're

so effing likable, you know?

And you've, so you ride that all along, too.

That is kind of your, I think, your secret sauce, but how does one even begin to become

a Johnny Knoxville?

Well, you don't go to college.

That's for sure.

And you're just getting on the 10 West.

Okay, step one, if you're listening, don't go to college, then get on the 10 West and

you're, you're fast, faster and disaster, that's how you do it.

And you started making these videos on your own, right?

This is, we're going back to what, in the late 90s?

Yes, what happened was, honestly, I, I moved out to Los Angeles.

To become an actor, just two months, or maybe a month after high school, didn't do a lot,

you know?

Right.

For five, six years, and then my then girlfriend got pregnant and I'm like, oh, I have

to do something quick because that's the most frightened I've ever been because I had

a little girl on the way and I'm waiting tables and I'm like, I got to do something quick.

So I was living next to Antoine Fuqua in this duplex and he set me up with this casting

agent who got me a commercial agent and I started writing for magazines and like my

version of participatory journalism like Hunter S. Thompson type of, I was like, how about

if I, my, one of my first articles was, how about if I test self-defense equipment on

myself?

I was, I was just, that was my best guess at how to support a family.

And it was all out of fear of how to support it, how to support a little girl, honestly.

And I think you described that leap as if it's an honest, natural progression, you know,

well, a kid's on the way and I better, you know, start to get serious here.

It's time to test self-defense equipment, time to shoot myself in the chest while wearing

a bulletproof vest.

It worked.

It worked.

Yeah.

So you start doing it and then you start making videos.

Well, when the only magazine, a few magazines around town wanted that article, but none

of them, they wanted to treat it as a negative pick up.

Come see us after you're done and then we'll, the only magazine who would help me like

by the stun gun, the taser gun, I bought the bulletproof vest with money my mom gave

me for Christmas that year was the editor of Big Brother magazine, Jeff Tremaine, who

is now the director of Jackass.

And he had a skateboarding magazine owned by Larry Flint that that's, and right before

I was writing, I said, how about if I write the article and Jeff goes, why don't you film

it at the same time and they, for our skate video, I'm like, okay.

And that's what happened.

And of course, I went to the, he's like, I'll have Dimitri go with you to film it, who's

now the director of photography of Jackass.

Right.

And I pull up that morning and I'm like, get in and he goes, here's the camera.

This is play.

This is pause.

It's got film in it.

I'm like, you're not shooting it.

He's like, no, he, because there's a gun involved.

He didn't want.

Didn't want to be there.

Nobody wanted to be there.

No one wants to be there.

Yeah.

So that's why the camera works so shaky with that.

So you start making these things and then you get a chance to make a show for MTV.

And I didn't know this at the same moment that you have this deal to make a show and

you're about to make the show out of nowhere.

You get this offer from Lauren Michaels at Saturday Night Live.

Yeah.

And I never heard that.

Nothing was happening in my life like two or three months before, you know, I mean,

they're wonderful things with the family and the kid, but professionally nothing.

And then it's like, I have a TV show.

We're about to shoot the pilot for MTV.

And then like you said, Lauren Michaels comes calling and we go meet at the polo lounge

at the Beverly Hills Hotel where fear and loathing did begin.

And it was a lot, you know, because I had no gigs before this.

And he's offered me a spot like five minutes on Saturday Night Live each week.

Not to do characters and things like that, but to do what I do, like make a video each

week.

It was a, I had just, I really seriously considered it, but I ended up thinking I would go on

there.

I'm not going to have any creative control whatsoever.

And I'm about to do this other thing with me and my friends.

And I'd rather, where I have all the control and I'd rather bet on us than enter into that.

And would probably, I'd been lucky to be on Saturday Night Live, but I chose that.

No, I mean, obviously you certainly didn't make the wrong move there.

And you got to be the master of your own universe by doing jackass as opposed to being a small

piece of a show where you have very less, sometimes we're not going to air your piece tonight.

It didn't make it or, you know, we're going to hold on to that or so, so that was the right

thing to do.

Well, I didn't think so when the pilot, while we're shooting the pilot, it got shut down

and I'm like, oh man, we're canceled.

This is not even making it to the air now.

Why was it shut down?

We were filming a bit in West Hollywood at this hardware store, which I think is a restaurant

now.

Laurel Hardware.

It's both.

You can get hardware in food.

Oh, great, great.

And I have the steak charts chart and the, and the rate, I have the rate as well.

And I walked in.

My face was all dirty and a prison orange jumpsuit and I was handcuffed and I was trying

to get them to help me solve the handcuffs all right.

They cleared out the place.

Everyone's scared and I realize at one point I'm out there on the saw section and there's

not even my camera man are around like, well, shit, so you're, you're, you're committing

you the bit and there's no camera at one point I'm so in and it goes right on my wrist

and it was very close to like, so then I heard the cops coming.

I'm like, well, I better get outside because that's where the cameras are.

And I run outside and right is like three or four carloads of cops are pulling up

and the first lady on the scene, she gets out of her car, tells me get on the ground

and I abide by what she's saying.

But she didn't put her car in park and it runs right into a telephone, telephone pole

in front of me and I'm on the ground, you can hear me go, oh, no, because now, now they're

mad and TV couldn't shoot in Hollywood for over 10 years after that because we didn't

have a permit.

We didn't know you permitted to shoot these things.

You didn't have a permit.

We didn't know what a permit was.

That's so fantastic.

You know, you are giving credence to this idea that I've had for a long time, which is

that if a camera is going, I will do things that I won't do otherwise.

And so in a jackass kind of way, I have always, if there's a camera rolling, I'll say, and

there's a potential for people to be laughing.

And it to be recorded.

I will do things that otherwise that say, oh, no, I'd rather not, I eat bugs.

I mean, we'll talk about fear factor, but all the stuff you guys do in fear factor,

I lose common sense.

If I think there's a potential that people would see it in laugh, and, but you're talking

about situations where you're invoking your, the police are coming, people have guns.

And they can very justifiably let you say a guy in an orange jumpsuit came running out

of the hardware store and I discharge my weapon.

And then it's like, oh, that's too bad for that guy making a pilot.

That's what the lady told me afterwards, the female policeman, she goes, if you would

have just moved a few inches while you were on the ground, the guy was going to get away,

she would just put a bullet in your ear.

And I'm like, well, I'm glad I kind of just laid there.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I said, is this the weirdest call you ever had?

And they said, no, one time a guy was on PCP at the top of a palm tree, buck naked and

slid all the way down, yes.

Which we tried to convince one of the cast guys to do, but no one was up for it.

That is either extremely painful or an erotic thrill.

No.

Okay.

But the laughter thing you're talking about, I don't know how to write to mate like, wow,

with America, thanks, funny, that would make me freeze.

But so with Jackass, if I only know how to make my friends laugh and if they're laughing,

yes, probably we're good, but if they're not laughing, we're probably shooting again.

There's Jackass itself, and it's not always you doing this nonsense, obviously.

You get your friends so that you can, it seems to me like distribute the pain and injury.

Yes.

Yes.

So that it's, you know, and it's a huge sensation.

And then Jackass, the movie, I remembered seeing that and just being, because I remember

thinking, how do they do this now?

Because the TV show has so many sort of iconic moments.

How do you do a movie?

And I thought you guys made great decisions when you made that movie.

Oh, thank you.

You know, and I don't know because you up the any a little bit, but you also have like production

and you don't mean it's not just the show, it's sort of on steroids and more presentational.

I don't know.

What was the thinking behind the movie?

Well, the thinking behind the movie was, we did, they called it three seasons of Jackass,

but it was 24 episodes and over a series of nine, ten months and we had unfortunately

a couple of copycat incidences and it was an election year and Joseph Lieberman came

down on Hollywood.

That was his big platform and me personally in MTV because of that.

So it became impossible to do Jackass, right?

We had all these safety OSHA guys on the set.

You can't jump off anything more than four feet and I felt like this doesn't feel right.

What we do is really silly, right?

But it means something to me.

So I'm like, I think this is the end and so I gave an interview to my hometown newspaper

and said, I quit.

And everyone was kind of surprised because I just went rogue.

So there was a lot of heat back and forth.

MTV was upset because I was under contract, yada, yada, yada, a lot of back and forth.

Finally, an idea for a movie was floated in Jeff and Spike came and said, well, how about

we still a movie instead?

I'm like, the idiot, I am, I'm like, who's going to play us?

And they're like, no, no, you idiot, yes, and I love, just like, is it a love story?

A naughty version of the TV show, I'm like, okay, got it, you know.

So that I was a little confused as I often am.

But I felt like there was a time when South Park made a movie and I thought, well, this

traditionally when TV shows make a movie for many years, it was the rule that it's a bad

idea.

You know what I mean?

Justin and Kelly.

Okay, almost always a bad idea.

That's the first one that popped into your head.

Justin Gaurini was just here.

I'm not the butcher's guy to come along the luck.

Well anyway, great poll, by the way.

But you know, I remembered like South Park made a movie and it turned out like, oh, yes,

excellent.

And then, and then you guys made a movie and it felt like this time when people were making

the right call and it was actually translating, I'm curious.

You know, I think about there was whatever 30 years or 28 years there where I was doing

a show and always saying yes to things because I thought it would be funny.

And I got tossed by a water buffalo once and fell onto up into the air and fell onto

hard concrete.

And it stopped.

Wow.

It stopped on a water buffalo when that was not what I was supposed to do.

And all my common sense went away and I think about that all the time.

Now I'm thinking about your life where you have a montage playing in your head of things

you did where probably halfway through you thought, this is a terrible idea, but I'm going

to do it anyway.

Well, it's like, this is a terrible idea.

I'm so glad I'm doing it.

We're about to get footage and by the way, I've always wanted to get hit by a water buffalo

so I'm envious.

I'm sitting there like, oh, I'm glad that you look up to me that way.

So are there things that stand out to you now that you are this silver haired wise, you

know, patrician?

Are there things that stand out to you?

Now we go like, oh my God, that was a terrible idea.

I don't know.

Do you have any regrets at all?

I wish I hadn't done that one.

Well, yeah.

I mean, we've been going back looking through some old bits and you're like, all that, but

not like anything for my physical safety just because, you know, they all can't be hits.

So then I'm like, oh, man, we just, even watching the first movie, it's almost first

Jack has movie.

It's so tame into what it became and which, but I don't regret any of that.

It's just what it was and like, I'm watching myself do pranks and I just, I watch it and

just go, why did I do that course of action?

Why couldn't I have pivoted into the, I just, I just like to beat myself up.

Yeah.

We all do that.

We all look at past work we've done and have regrets.

But for you, it might be, um, why did I light myself on fire?

Not, I mean, the two, I did the tube, Conan.

I can't do anything about it now.

So, yeah, I'm all right with everything.

That's good.

Are you in pain?

Do you walk around in constant pain sometimes, but I'm, I'm not, it's not even joke.

I'm not really in touch with my body.

Me neither.

I can just kind of deal with whatever.

Yeah.

I, it's funny.

You say that because my least favorite question is if I go to a doctor or something and they

say, now, how does it feel?

And I go, I don't know, I just want to get to the grave.

Yeah.

You know, like, I hate, I hate when they're telling me, you know, or whatever.

You get a massage and they're like, now, how does this feel as a person like, I don't

know.

To be alone, I'm trying to get through life.

You know what I mean?

I have that kind of feeling.

And so when you said that, I was electrified.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's like I just, I don't know.

I did this to myself.

So what, what am I going to do?

Yeah.

I'm not going to complain to anyone.

Yeah.

That's what it is.

Yeah.

That's true.

I hadn't thought of that.

Most people that walk around, I'm like, oh, man, my hip.

What happened?

Oh, you know, just all those years of working at the plant.

And for you, it's, well, I strapped myself to a rocket and had it fired into a concrete

wall.

You know, like Wiley Coyote.

Yeah.

And it's hard to be like, oh, man, that's tough.

Yeah.

What happened?

I know exactly what happened.

We have six cameras.

We have six cameras.

I can prove it.

Wow.

Yeah, it's, it's, I mean, it's incredible.

It's so interesting to me, too, that you've referenced Hunter S. Thompson a couple of times.

Someone's I had the honor of getting to interview, I think twice and, and, and your

interest early on in writing.

Do you know what I mean?

These are, those are things that I feel very connected to.

And Hunter S. Thompson was someone who put his entire, himself and his body and his sanity.

He poured it all into his work.

Yeah.

And it's, it's fascinating to me that in a way you are in that vein.

Do you know what I mean?

You're, you're, you're saying, okay, here's my body and I'm going to put all of it into

what I do.

It's going to go through this, this grinder, but that's, that is my work.

Yeah.

This is, that was my best guess, you know, honestly.

And I love Hunter, you know, I, like, two books kind of change my life early on, like,

on the road.

Yeah.

My Jack Carol, we're in a bar with my cousin and he hands me the book.

I just, I didn't know people lived like that.

Yeah.

And it was, you know, I'm small town in Tennessee, everyone lives there, stays there.

And, and then I read fear and loathing in Las Vegas when I was 19.

And I felt like I didn't know anyone could write like this and be so free.

And after that, I was useless, you know, it's like my, my path was set, I guess.

That's so funny.

Those are time in your life.

I think I had just moved out to L.A. 22 and I'm just only reading, you know, fear and

loathing books.

Yeah.

And I spoke to me, not that I, in my life, matched that in any way, but it takes you over

in a way that, you know, at my age now, I don't know that it would.

I'd like it, but it wouldn't, it wouldn't inhabit me the same way.

And like, in actuality, if you're living like that, or your friends living like that, it's

so fucking exhausting to be around, you know, I've had some friends, I mean, Steve, he was

off the rails.

Yeah.

The worst drugs, you can get your hands on PCP, uh, those, those, those nitrous canisters,

there would be, it would be a sea of nitrous canisters at his feet.

And it was exhausting, I mean, he'll tell you it was exhausting.

But I mean, now he's, like, he's doing great.

He's been sober for well over, we put him away in 2008, so 17 years or something.

Just incredible.

Good for him.

Yeah.

People ask me, well, would you say something about it, bravery, I'm like, that's, that's

bravery.

Like he has to face that dragon every morning, and he does, and he's, he's doing great.

And I'm really proud of him.

It is the most impressive thing.

Yeah.

I see people do is, you know, and it's just amazing that you can give yourself another

chapter like that where it's like, Steve, oh, can I get you anything?

Uh, maybe you have high biscuits teeth.

It takes you four seconds to stand in front of a bowl, but he has to do something like

this.

Every, every, has to face balls all day long.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Do you ever get, when you're with all those guys and you guys together, are together?

Do you ever have the thing of, guys, keep it down, you know, you know, it's, it's, it,

you know what I mean, we're not that anymore.

Keep it down.

I don't want to make too much noise tonight or, I got to get to bed.

It's 915.

I don't even, I wouldn't even know.

I don't know how to go about trying to quiet them down, you know, you can try tranquilize

it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think, I think everyone becomes worse in those situations if someone tries to, I don't

think I ever do that.

Well, here we go, though, you get that when the cameras are off, especially early on,

it was way worse than when the cameras are on.

Is that true?

Oh, it was.

Yeah.

It's like you're talking about gremlins or, don't get them wet, you know, don't get

them wet with whiskey because they're very excitable.

It's funny.

You brought out safety coordinators or people that are there to make sure that everyone's

behaving properly.

Yeah.

The times that I've been on a set where I had to do the most tame thing, literally the

most tame thing, like go through the ceiling of the show, the office and land on a desk.

It's just like three feet below me on Dwight Troutes desk and just, it's just like a little

drop down.

At the time I'm doing it, I'm 40 and I'm just throwing myself around all the time because

I'm a big kid and someone's there like, let's talk.

This is, let's walk through this now.

We're going to hold your body in six different places and slowly, yeah, boom, you've got

to buy me dinner first and then they're going to slowly and then we've made the desk out

of a special foam and I'm like, guys, I grew up in a big family and all we did was toss

each other off of staircases and that is my way of, you know, most times I have a comedy

idea.

The first thing I want to do is pretend to punch somebody and then I'm thrown through

a glass window.

I like that kind of stuff and I think I am not body aware in the way that I'm going

to do something still at some point because I just think I'm having fun and I'm being

funny and I'm goofing around and I'm going to forget that I'm 85 years old.

Are you guys picking, are you auditioning for the New York actually?

I have to say I am and I'm going to run.

You know what?

I would.

Yeah.

I would do it.

But it's just him falling out of bed.

No, I think I would do it.

Yeah.

Yes.

A big stunt for me is behaving myself in a crowded theater.

No, I swear to God, there is a wishful film with me.

That's why I get so excited and I used to, obviously, a big fan of yours and the stuff

that you guys were doing and there was, there's always been part of me.

It's funny.

To me, it's the Yin and the Yang.

I am very cerebral and cautious and all of those things and then there's the flip side

of it where I kind of like it where I'm not in control.

It's a relief from the other guy.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm cautious with my kids.

Right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So funny.

I was like a hell, I'm a total helicopter parent when they're little like I'm the guy

underneath the, the monkey bar trying to like make sure they don't fall.

Just you lecturing at 19-year-old.

Now listen.

I want you to have your head strapped on right tonight.

You have like a, you have an an diurn sticking through your skull.

A bicycle.

Are you kidding me?

A bicycle?

No way.

You're going to wear a seven helmet.

I love all of that.

That's fantastic.

I know.

Well, I, you know, I want to tell you we had, they let me watch the new fear factor.

They gave us a link to it and I was really enjoying it.

And I have to say, getting you as the host was a, was a stroke of genius on somebody's

part.

Yes.

I'm very happy.

It had a lot of fun.

But I mean, it's not too much of a pivot from what Jack asked was, except if I can't

go at these people like I do my, you're dealing with civilians.

Yes.

People have pride, a sense of, a sense of self esteem.

They want to live in society.

They can use tools to make other tools, they hunt and gather, walk on their own legs.

Yeah.

They wish to procreate, yeah.

So they, no, it's, it's, it's fun because I also love that you get to be around it.

And it's, it's really fun that they're doing all of this stuff.

And you're there wearing one of these fantastic like polo sweaters.

Oh, thank you.

My wife was my costumeer, Emily.

So it's, but you're always there like, ah, ha, ha, enjoy.

And you become the Ricardo Montelbonne on fantasy, you know, it's like, you don't have

to break a sweat.

And you're like, all of you get into the giant meat grind there.

And you're there.

You know what I mean?

You've earned it.

It feels like you've really earned the right to be that guy.

Yeah.

It's fun.

Like, you know, I, when people display fear in an entertaining manner, I'm, I'm here for

it.

Um, and I thought I was going, I first got the gig.

I'm like, oh, man, I'm really going to make their life hell.

Yeah.

And I got excited and that's never good.

But then as I got closer, I'm like, well, these kind of, these are, these, they're different.

You know, and there's money at stake and they're trying, these people actually do have phobias.

Yep.

So I, I was like, maybe I'm, I just felt more natural to kind of help them through it.

Right.

But you gave them hell.

Yeah.

But mostly I like, I enjoyed both things.

It sounds to me like you've started to develop empathy.

I did, I even teared up a couple of times in the show.

It's like, because you see these reality shows and people are the cry.

I'm like, everyone's fine.

What are you crying about?

You just met this person.

I can't feel my legs and you're crying days ago.

But then a few people left the show.

I'm like, I don't know, I spent too much time around my mother.

I'm, that's very, well, I'm curious if do you ever get asked?

To like come back and speak at your high school or something and it's, do you know what I mean?

Because it's a strange thing to get it, because you've been extremely successful and

iconic and now we'd like you to speak to these young people.

Like an anti-validic toy?

Yeah.

Exactly.

Do as I did.

That's what I find.

Cautionary tales.

Yeah.

Through college.

Yeah.

Don't go to college.

Fire a nail gun into your anus.

Hey, that's not half bad.

Yeah.

That's good.

Oh, I could be a writer.

Yeah.

If you guys won't let me be in the new Jackass movie, I will be a writer.

Has anyone ever fired hot lava into their urethra lava from Mount Etna?

You guys are like, Conan, no, it wouldn't work.

It would evaporate the tissue around it.

Okay.

I'll keep working on it.

I come in with really giant glasses.

I'll keep working.

Conan, I'm just spitballing here, but no, I have never been invited to speak before.

I love that.

High school college.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, and I don't blame them.

No, I don't know.

Well, I think you'd be a great, they should.

Yeah.

They should.

They're missing out on a great speech.

So I also was telling you, I'm obsessed with the new fear factor house because there's,

reality shows always take place in a house.

It's always a similar looking house.

I don't care.

This house is a house that's absolutely stunning and it looks like the richest man in the world

lives there and he's got taste.

Yeah.

It's like beautiful.

This house is, where is it?

It's in West Vancouver.

Yeah.

It is a beautiful place.

They have all these shots of it and I just keep thinking about I want to be on the show

as a contestant because I really want to try this lava thing.

You can't do that on your own.

I know.

And trust me, I have.

Okay.

It's hot enough.

It's a problem.

But I also, I just, I love that house.

Well, they do celebrity jeopardy.

What about some celebrity fear factor at some point?

You know, I love that.

Yeah.

Dame Judy Dench can't shot out of a cannon.

And, you know, I was trying to convince the show traders.

I'm like, we should have a jackass traders because all the things that you need to

possess to be good in that show, none of us have, and it will be physically attacking

each other.

We can be pranking.

I love that.

Then you go into a show where there's strategy and psychology, but you just start firing

nail guns.

No one was going to want to walk down to breakfast and open the door.

Yeah.

No one's going to want to touch the door handle.

It's, uh, the genius by, I mean, Alan coming, watching Alan coming say murder is the

whole, I watched that show just for his costumes are fantastic.

Oh, yes.

And then, but no, you fear factor coming into other shows.

Yeah.

And I think, you know, like password, um, you know, just, just like it.

Yeah.

No, uh, jeopardy.

Yeah.

So it was where it's very intelligent shows where people have to kind of use their

streets, their knowledge, but you guys are just smashing everything.

You could really amp it up for the celebrity fear factor too, because these people know

what they're getting into and they're in the business.

So just hand me a pen and a piece of paper and yeah, I can, that would be fun just writing

bits.

Okay.

I will, uh, I'll produce this with you.

Yes.

Yes.

Yeah.

Very little.

I mean, 80%.

Yes.

Um, that'll be my biggest stunt that's doing a fear factor show with you and getting most

of the money.

That'll be a, that'll be a pain like anything you've ever felt before.

Well, that may come into price.

No, I don't target.

I, I can only target my, the jackass guys.

It's, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

There's such a trust and there's real friendship there.

I had, I, in a couple of times that I targeted a friend that was not part of the, the civilian

will say, and it just hurt his feelings and I'm, oh, I'm never going to do that again.

Isn't that the worst?

Yeah.

Yeah.

That was, it is interesting.

You bring that up because they always say it's always, uh, you know, it's funny until

someone gets hurt and I always think it's actually when someone's feelings get hurt.

Yeah.

I, this, the bottom falls out for me if, if, unless the person is pure evil and, and deserves

to have hurt, a hurt feeling, but other than that, the times I've done, anytime I've done

something and it got back to me, oh, no, someone heard that joke and they were sad.

I'm like, oh, man, that's the worst.

It sucks the air out of the room and then you feel, I just like, I'm a monster and it

was, I was doing things that not even like one tenth of what I do to the guys, but still

I was like, okay, I'm not going to target anyone else just, I can, you know, save it for

my fellas in, in now Rachel Wolfson.

Yeah.

When is the next movie coming out?

June 26th.

Okay.

Yeah.

And, uh, are you doing any stunts in the new one or do they cut to a dummy?

Well, I mean, they always cut to a dummy.

I can, I can do stunts.

I just can't do anything where I get another concussion because I've, how many of you

had 16?

So do you know who I am right now?

Yes, Andy.

I don't care about a broken armor or ankle, but it just like, can't have you more concussions.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think that's a wise course of action.

And I feel like I, I did my thing.

I, I don't, I don't feel like I'm, uh, missing anything.

So, uh, that's good.

Yeah.

I mean, if I saw you in the shower, I wouldn't be horrified.

There's not a lot.

And I think you probably would be, my god, I didn't know it could be so small.

There's just like a big piece of torso missing and you don't even notice it any.

You keep like a little knick-knacks in there.

You keep humble figurines and a little alarm clock in there, uh, pull my arm off to get

my back.

Hey, Conan.

Hey, thanks a lot.

Oh, great.

This thing's great.

I love it.

Um, so what is your now commitment to the fear factor show?

You just, uh, you're waiting to see?

Yeah.

I guess it comes out tomorrow, down the 14th, yeah, the 12 years.

It's really fun to see you.

Thank you.

And yeah, I'm, I'm hoping it, I had so much fun.

I'm hoping they pick it up.

So it seemed to do good on the sneak preview on Sunday.

The only thing that there's a lot of stuff that doesn't, uh, that I don't worry about,

but, um, insects creep me out, you know, and I don't think I have a phobia about it,

but I just always, a hairy spider to me is like the worst thing in the world.

Like a tarantula, uh, an, an, an arachnid that has hair creeps me out, uh, and the

idea of, but then again, if I was on camera and there was a studio audience there and

people were laughing, and I knew they'd really laugh.

If I went for it, I'd pick one up and start licking it.

As it stung my tongue and filled me with a heart paralyzing venom, and I'd look to

care and go, Daddy likes his gong-gong juice, and then I would die.

You know, the thing about those hairy spiders is the hair gets in your eyes and it feels

like a spestos.

Why are you talking from experience?

No, it's, you just can't get it, it just, itches it, can't get it, it can't get it off

of you.

That's funny.

I can bring up anything to you and you're like, here's the thing about a rhino horn

in your ass.

Yes.

It's funny.

But you don't know is there so the horn is kind of waxy and then you can't get the wax

out of your ass.

Like anything I bring up, you're going to go, you know, it's funny.

Bulls horns are very dirty, and that's when people get gourd before penicillin, that

was kind of it for them.

But now they have penicillin, you can get gourd pretty much all you want, do you ever?

There's one matador, I can't remember his name.

He's been gourd like 63 times, it's crazy, when he gets a drink at a bar all this, oh this

bit in the world, but I love it.

I'm fine.

He's my favorite matador, hands down.

But you know, it's funny, I think of a germaphobic matador as a really funny idea.

He's like, he doesn't mind getting gourd, but he keeps trying to use a wet wipe on the horn.

His cape is a big wet wipe.

Yeah, it's like, it's kind of less cruel.

There you go.

I don't care.

You got to wipe the bulls, horns and hooves before he gets in the ring with them.

Well, this has been a blast, it's been really fun, and I really enjoy you on the new

Fear Factor, and I just love talking to you.

Thank you.

You're just an infinitely charming fellow, and congrats on the new movie coming out and

that you're thriving, it's just really, and that you're well, you're happy, you're here.

You're able to move about.

Oh yes.

Yeah, after I finished the last jackass, I was just, I was so happy, I'm still walking.

I'm good.

Yeah.

So, but thank you, you've always been so kind to me.

Oh my God, you're kidding?

I just, I'm a big fan, and thanks so much for doing it.

I really appreciate it.

Oh, one last, you were talking about all these safety guys when you're shooting something.

You got to get really shady safety guys.

Our safety guys are the shady.

It's just a little tip before I go.

There's no union, oh no, but like our alligator expert, Manny, who dives in swamps at night

with the miner's light and pulls alligators up from the bottom.

Jesus.

He's a wonderful man.

He is Tarzan, but he's our safety guy when we work with alligators, and so, you know,

you film those safety meetings before, and they're like, okay, Manny, tell us what's

the plan here?

Well, Steve O will be in there with an alligator, and if the alligator bites him, hopefully

he will let go.

All right, let's shoot.

So, that's good.

You need a very shady safety guy who probably wasn't a safety guy a month ago.

You need a pretty good safety guy.

Okay, I am sitting here with Sonom of Session, and normally now I'd say Matt Gourley, but

he is out on maternity leave, paternity, he's a man, I don't, I'm going to stick with

what I said.

Oh, you're going to, you're going to double down on it, okay?

He's on maternity leave, trust me, he got his knickers in a twist, he's out yet

with a beautiful baby girl now, and very happy for him.

Filling in for him is David Hopping.

Now, this is a rare occasion where both of my assistants are sitting here with me.

You've got Sona, assistant since 2009, and David Hopping, when did you really take over

as my full-time assistant?

With 2021?

Yeah, with the boys, yeah.

That's right.

Okay, so you've both assisted me, and I thought this is a great time to ask you

guys some pretty blunt questions, and you have to be honest.

No, seriously, you have to be honest, okay?

You mean we don't have to try to protect your feelings?

No, just go for it.

No, just go for it.

Just go for it.

No, I think this was a good chance to know more about me, I am not in the least bit defensive

on the open book.

That's going to be fun.

Yeah, okay.

It's going to be like a 30-minute segment.

I'm curious.

Sona, what was your least favorite thing to do for me?

Whoa, the least favorite thing to do.

Yeah, the thing that when I asked you to do it, you really needed it.

Guys, is that one?

Can I say apologize?

Meaning, when I messed up and you were just like, can you just feel bad about not doing

something right?

Because you wouldn't do it.

I know, that's your thing.

But no, I think that-

No, wait, we'll say you screwed something up, which didn't happen a lot.

I mean-

It did.

We made jokes, but I got things done.

Yeah, you got things done.

But when things would go terribly wrong, and I would say, oh, come on, Sona.

You'd say, yep, that happened, and you would just bow ahead.

All right.

So I would sometimes, I'm just being honest.

I would try to get you to apologize or say, you feel badly about it and you wouldn't.

I know.

I know.

Okay, here's, you know what?

So that's a good answer.

Okay, so-

But also, I'm trying to think of things I did regularly that I was just like, every time

you would ask me to do it, I'd be like, oh, God.

Yeah.

And you know what?

Honestly, I can't think of anything, right?

I might need some time with it, because-

You liked shaving my back?

Oh, God.

You would enjoy that?

Oh, God.

Because I didn't think you would.

Don't put that out there.

I don't want people to think that was going to happen, whatever happened.

You had the longest shaver in the world.

She was on the end of a pole like that.

Oh, yeah.

She would be maybe 35 yards away from me.

Like those grippers, I think.

I was horribly cut up.

So whenever you do that, because you were off on your phone while you were doing it.

I know.

I think that you, you're not a very high maintenance person.

I don't think so.

I don't think you're high maintenance.

But now we switch it over to, David, what do you not like to do for me, or it's kind

of a drag?

Um.

Be honest.

I mean, let's see, where do I start?

No, where do I start?

Sorry, I just remembered.

And I don't know if you have this too.

There's times when there's something you ask us to do that we, I think we know you can

just do on your own.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then I lived in Pasadena and you'd be like, can you just come to my house at nine in

the morning to help me with this thing?

And I'd be like, you know how to do that.

Yeah.

Usually for like an hour and a half.

It was usually, how do I read my email or how do I get into Netflix?

Yeah.

You can never get into Netflix.

Now in my defense, in my defense, it's very hard to get on the Netflix.

Yeah.

I mean, next to impossible, you have to bring a brain surgeon, although I do want to say

I think I got hired because of things so I didn't want to do.

Like writing the errands and things is why I even.

That's true.

That's true.

Yeah.

And so many creams and bombs and bombs, saves, um, yeah, emolients, yeah, uh, gels.

Yeah.

So I'm grateful for that.

I know.

And it was job security.

Like, you know, well, I think I get one.

Oh, an assistant.

That's right.

Oh my god.

No.

You have an assistant.

That is the end.

That is nationwide search.

Yeah.

That is the end of days.

Um, I think, yes, the tech stuff, I'm constantly, I don't belong, I should not be living

in this century.

Um, I, it's like I'm, I'm an 18th or 19th century man.

I, I, I think I would have been uncomfortable in the 19th century because they'd be like,

hey, can you pull that crank and make that steam powered thing work?

I cannot do it.

It's a drive to you.

His witchcraft.

Talk to my assistant into Pasadena.

Pasadena.

No one lives there.

Uh, that's not inhabited yet.

Oh my god.

In my defense, uh, I, uh, poor technology, I just end, and so, um, yes, I think that's

probably the worst is when I call you up and say, I don't know how to take a picture

with my phone and then send it to someone.

It's not bad bad.

Which you've done a million, but sometimes you're in your head so much about something

you have to do that you do forget very basic thing.

This is something that Sonia was really on top of.

She would always say, I'd call her, and I don't think, to be fair, I don't think I would

make you drive from Pasadena to my house.

You didn't do it often, but there were times when, you know, I would have to be there.

And that's my job.

I didn't know what I was making a sandwich if the bread goes on top.

You forgot how a sandwich was.

Yeah.

And I needed you to be here to show me.

So I was like, get here, fast.

Well, yeah, and also I liked going to your house.

It's fun there.

It's pretty nice.

Yeah, it is.

All those portraits of me.

The statues in the art of God.

Yeah, I love seeing that stuff.

Yeah.

Me on Northback naked.

Oh, God.

Four lives, right?

I say, shave the back of my statue.

So you know, so crazy is that I would call you, Sonia, and I would say, I can't do this.

You would say, yes, you can.

You have a phobia about it.

Yeah.

But it's very intuitive.

And you would coach me.

And I would realize that I'm very tech phobic.

And I will think I can't do this.

This isn't something I could ever figure out in a million years.

And because of you, I do try a lot now.

Before I call anybody, I try to see if I could figure it out.

Yes.

And then when blue foam starts coming out of my device, I know it's time to get David on

the phone.

I'm really proud of you.

He learned how to put things in his calendar on his own.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Good job, bud.

Like we're talking about a one-legged turtle.

That one-legged turtle.

You learn how to make a poopy.

Good for you, Mr. Gibble.

I'll take it.

All right.

This is a serious question.

Yeah.

Would you, if my life was in danger, would you put yourself between me and the danger, Sonia?

You know what, like, would I sacrifice myself for you?

Yeah.

Would you sacrifice your life for mine?

I probably would have before I had kids.

Now I won't.

Now, but I honestly, they're weird.

You're fired.

Oh.

No, but I mean, I was going to say that's crazy.

Well, no, but also, what do you mean before I had kids?

I know.

I'm not like secret service.

I'm going to jump in front of a bullet for you.

But I think that I would have, I think that the, and I don't know if you feel this

too, the need to protect you and make sure you are good is more so within the two of

us.

It isn't a lot of people.

Yes.

I give you a lot of credit for that because all joking aside, there were times when I was

on tour in 2010, I remember, I think I was in Eugene, Oregon, and we did a show and

afterwards.

I said, Hey, everybody meet me at this, like, there was a sculpture or something of a

big red wagon.

Yeah.

Everybody meet me there and I really went there because I wanted to be kind of like an

Andy Kaufman happening and there was a huge crowd there and you were with me.

But then it was just so many people and I take sucked into this massive crowd.

And then I saw you later back at the hotel and you were freaked out and you were mad at

me.

You were like, I didn't know how to protect you.

And I said, you don't, that's not your job in the situations.

Yeah.

I know, but I'm, that's my job in the situation, but you're a very, yeah, you've always,

you're a rock, all joking aside.

I love you and you've always been, you're, you take really good care of me.

Yeah.

David, not so much.

Ah, there it is.

Here we go.

We were in New York and you cut your head open.

Excuse me.

Are you filing?

What are you doing back?

Oh, sorry.

What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you doing?

I'm getting, I'm getting all the, I'm getting all the ads ready for after this.

Yes.

Yes.

Okay.

I keep trying to remove paper from people.

I'm sorry.

I'm just giving you a few pieces of paper that are here.

There's another paper that's telling you how to use these things.

What do we do to get to the other day and now you are?

I think you're putting your thesis together.

I didn't realize you were at Princeton.

I should have done this outside.

Would you drop it on the floor right now?

Oh.

Oh, god.

Damn, I'm sorry about that.

I'm talking to you guys and he's over here.

He's not gonna jump in the front of a bull phone for no.

I guess what?

I wish you would.

I'm, cause I am hiring that guy now.

Hey, is the one who's gonna shoot you?

Yeah.

and all your papers will come on it.

I'm on it.

Okay, here we go.

Oh my god.

David, go ahead.

I was gonna say, we were in New York at like one or two trips ago

and you, I get a text from Liza that you cut your head open

and I ran to a CVS and got you all the medicine,

all the band aids.

You did.

And you did.

So that's, I don't know where I'm going with that.

Oh, I know what I did.

Yeah, I walked into like a low hanging lamp

because I'm a freak.

Yeah.

It's not meant for people of your height.

No.

Like hung a lamp and they thought, don't worry.

99.9% of the people won't hit this lamp

with the rusty corner.

Yeah.

Yeah, I slammed into it and there was blood shooting everywhere.

It was like bruised.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But you did go and get a bunch of pulses.

I got everything CVS.

There is treatments, herbs, remedies.

It was, but would you, let's say the moment comes down to it

and it's my life for yours.

Would you make the ultimate sacrifice?

This is a crazy question.

You know what?

This should have been in the interview.

Would you?

I think that we really won't know until it happens.

No, okay.

Yeah, that's a good answer.

It'll be a game time decision.

Yeah.

You just gave me your answer.

What cafe are both of you working at the end of it?

Yeah, you know what?

I think one of, we do need to stay behind

till it lies and know you died.

Yeah.

This is so dark.

But you're right.

Yeah.

Right.

And you know what?

And you know what?

You'll both be tromping on sandwiches when you call it.

Anyway.

Yeah.

You didn't make it.

But it's really bad.

No, no.

No, no.

I want hummus on the side.

Okay.

Hummus.

Hummus.

I said it correctly.

But why is it always hummus?

You need a lot of hummus.

I do like, I do like it.

I mean, sometimes you don't even have hummus

but you have it in your pockets.

Yeah.

You have hummus on you at all times.

I wish.

I really wish.

I wish it was like a bowl.

And I was just dipping pita chips in it all the time.

Listen.

Yeah.

You guys are both fantastic.

I will say that.

I'll deny it.

I'm glad this isn't being recorded.

Oh.

You're both fantastic.

Oh, why are we recording these?

And let's get back to Blaze shuffling papers,

noisily off camera, so that my ads are in the right order

when I read them 20 minutes after we end this recording.

Incredible.

Thanks.

Both of you.

Godspeed.

Conan O'Brien needs a friend with Conan O'Brien,

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Take it away, Jimmy.

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